Becoming a Boy 60
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I appreciate all the emails I have received providing comments and suggestions as well as encouragement to write more chapters. Thanks for letting me take a long break between chapters for ongoing work and personal time. I hope to have more time for writing now, Sir Mike says there are no excuses for my delays, so I will do my best to be better at it. Thanks to Zach, EM, and Britneysho for thoughts and ideas as always.
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Thank you, callibrn.
I got to sleep in Zach's bed that night. It was strange. I mean it was the same house and all, just a different room, right? If I was careful no one else here would figure it out except Timmy. He'd know I never showed up. Unless he was at Ian's for the night. Zach had insisted, and I had told him he could make the decisions. If I was going to do that, then I couldn't question the easy ones like this. It was only sleeping in his bed.
He gave me a lesson in cleaning my pussy out. Told me he expected that it be clean if I belonged to him. It was embarrassing to be given lessons in how to give myself an enema. Then he checked the shaving I had done and he found a couple spots where I had missed the hair near my pussy. He got a mirror and showed me how to check for hairs. Zach told me he didn't care if I was hairy as long as I kept my pussy shaved clean and the hair around my clit, as he told me he would be calling it, trimmed close. We went through that process too.
I got to clean my dick, I mean my clit, and trim my bush down. It was much easier to deal with the chastity cage that way. No hair getting caught in anything and pulled. I noticed that right away. He was right, I told myself. Then after small talk we went to sleep. I was worn out anyway. I was already sore from working out muscles I didn't know existed. I didn't fight him when he put his arm around me in bed and pulled me close to him. It was weird. I'd never done this with a guy. Never snuggled like this in general. Women were tough to stay over with after you had sex. You might have to do some cuddling ahead of time, but I'd never really done the cuddling in a bed with anyone. I could feel Zach's half hard fat cock brushing my ass as he spooned me.
I thought I would fall right to sleep but the newness of this all had my mind going. I kept telling myself that I shouldn't be thinking too much, Zach was going to handle those things. Yet, I had a lot of questions and fears. How did I deal with the frat bros? What did this mean for me and girls moving forward. What other things would happen to me if I let Zach make all the decisions in my life?
I moved my hand slowly down to my crotch. I touched the plastic cage. It was hard, firm, and I felt nothing of my hand on my dick. Then I moved my hand lower and stuck my index finger toward my asshole, my pussy. I felt it. I ran my finger around my hole. It was huge in comparison to what it had been earlier in the day. It felt sorta like a pussy to be honest. I couldn't see it, but I imagined it was a slit like a vagina. It seemed like it, just touching it. I brought my hand back up and sniffed my finger. It smelled of soap and me. There was no more smell of Zach or Alonzo.
Finally, I drifted off to sleep thinking about Zach. How he held me as Alonzo fucked me, how good it felt to be taken hold of by him, how Zach took control, how it was the most intense orgasm I'd ever had.
The next thing I knew, light was streaming in the window. I was laying on my stomach. I could feel Zach running his hand over me, touching my neck, my back, then my ass. He was laying alongside me. I could feel his cock hard against my leg.
"Morning, girl," he said quietly.
"Morning Zach Sir" I replied back.
"Now that you're awake I can have breakfast," he said.
I figured he was talking about me cooking him something. I wasn't so sure about that, my skills in the kitchen were not so hot. I moved to get up but only made it to my knees.
"Whoa there, breakfast is already here," he said. He moved around me until he was on his knees behind me. "Spread those cheeks, baby," he said.
There was no question asked. He just told me to do it. I reached around and grabbed my ass cheeks and spread them. My ass was in the air and now my face was down on the mattress. Zach moved his face down to my ass and teased me. He chewed on my ass, probably leaving teeth marks. Then he moved right in and started licking my pussy. Real men ate pussy he had told me. I done my share of eating pussy to please a woman but until yesterday no one had done that to me.
"Fuucckkkk, why does that feel so good?" I knew the answer to my question and Zach didn't stop to answer me. It felt good because I was being treated as his sex toy, like a girl gets treated sometimes. His tongue just slid in me spreading me open, loosening me up. I was going to get fucked again.
"Yes! Eat my pussy," I told him. I knew he liked to hear me talking about this stuff. It was pretty hot saying this stuff. It was crazy to think about and got my brain working. "Oooohhhh, damn, Zach Sir, you do that so well."
"That's some sweet pussy, baby. I bet that's better tasting than any breakfast you could whip up." I laughed at him. I wasn't sure if that was allowed but he was right. I was not a chef.
"You're right, Boss. I'm no good in the kitchen."
"Yeah, but you're going to be good in the bedroom when I'm done training you," he told me.
Fuck that was a hot thought. No one had ever said I was good in the bedroom. Girls didn't give me compliments when I finished fucking. None of them rocked me either, for that matter. I thought Jessica was doing that, but really it was the kinks and not her.
"Yes, make me your slut in the bedroom. I want to be really good at sex," I replied. "I want to be a hot fuck for you."
That got his motor running. His tongue really went to work on me. Fuck it felt so good.
"That pussy tastes good, girl. I just want a taste before I give you your big breakfast sausage with some gravy to finish it off."
I was sore and wasn't sure how it would feel. It really was like an athletic event yesterday. My hips muscles were sore, and my pussy was I guess sore in that way too, like worked over from all that stretching. I was still not sure where this was taking me. I didn't see myself as gay. I thought about women most all of the time, except when I was thinking about what a woman experienced. And I guess I was learning that. I just wouldn't ever be like, gay, prancing around all gay-acting, I just couldn't be that person, like Tim had become.
"So sore from yesterday," I told him.
"I know, girl. I know taking a cock like that can really push limits. I'll go slow, promise," he told me.
He went back to munching. Damn, if I didn't start moaning. It was like I was meant to do this shit. His tongue felt damn good. Then when he went to sucking on my hole, the suction was crazy. I ran my finger down to where he was munching. I wanted to feel what he was eating. That just made me moan louder.
"Fuccckkkk, I've got a pussy," I moaned. "It's so sensitive. Feels so good."
Zach growled as he drilled his tongue inside me. That send waves of tiny vibrations through my hole. Shit, felt so good. Can't believe he can drive me nuts with this stuff. I was looking back at Zach as he had his hands on my cheeks, spreading them, diving in. His face was covered in his saliva as he kept spitting and licking, spitting and licking. He glanced up and caught my stare. He grinned giving me this crazy hungry look. Fuck, it was hot, watching him eat my pussy. I could see that he wanted to fuck it too. Damn, I knew that look. I was ready. I felt like my hole was wet and wide open. Zach paused his munch long enough to pull off my hole and I used that time to flip on my back.
"Fuck me!" I told him. "I want to feel that cock again. I know you're hard, just fuck me."
"Whoa, girl. We have time, no need to rush."
"Then fuck me slow, Sir. But just fuck me!" I demanded.
"Pushy bitch," he said. "Adjust your attitude properly," he said with a grin.
"Please fuck me," I begged. "Please, Sir, I need that big cock."
Damn, hearing myself say that was hot. I sounded needy. Zach spread my cheeks and he pointed his dick at me. He had a hot looking cock. Pointing upwards slightly, hard as hell. I couldn't help it. I ran my fingers down to my dick and remembered it was covered in plastic. So, then I reached further and pulled up my nuts exposing my hole more.
"Please! It's like I have to be full. I need to feel a man inside me."
"That's better," he grinned. "Just making sure you know what you need. You'll get plenty as my girl, baby."
I could feel him push forward, entering me and I moaned as he slid his dick inside me. It was one slow slide. He didn't let up the pressure and I guess I was ready because it felt smooth and easy going inside. Other than a little soreness as I was spread open again, it was just what I wanted.
"Yessssss, shit that feels good," we both said. Well, Zach didn't use the word shit, but otherwise, it was the same.
I held my nuts up and away from my hole. I wanted to see Zach's dick fucking me. I was fascinated by a cock opening me up and feeling so good.
"Aaaaawwwwww, feels so good," I moaned. "How can it be so good?"
"You were made to take dick, baby. A girl like you is just waiting to find out what she's good at," Zach answered me. "You've just been waiting for the right man to show you how good it can be, how good you can be."
Zach pulled his dick back and shoved forward slowly again. The feelings were intense. I could feel my toes curl and he slowly moved back and forth inside me. It was like a slow-moving jolt of electricity. Every time he went back and forth there was a moment of intense sensation.
"That's your p-spot, girl. I found that really easy. Now that I know where that is," he said as he rubbed against some place inside me that sent shivers down my spine and into my dick cage. It was like a little wad of cum was rolling out of my dick. I couldn't tell though, it was locked up. I moaned again as he just jabbed at that spot.
"Now that I know where it is, I can get you off without you ever getting unlocked," he said.
"You find that spot for long enough, and I'll just roll around mumbling and begging," I admitted. "Feels so damn good."
I arched my back off the mattress automatically. I wanted that itch scratched. Wanted to get fucked until I reached that orgasm level of yesterday. I managed to wrap my legs behind Zach's back, trying to pull him in deeper. I thought maybe whatever I was sniffing yesterday had made it feel good, but no, it felt good on its own.
"Little horny girl," he said. "You like dick, don't you? You want my cock."
"Yes, yes, I want your cock," I admitted.
I moved my hands to my pecs and started playing with my nipples. Damn that felt so good too. For whatever reason I thought back to that damn Halloween party when Tim gave me a blow job. If I'd known how good it felt giving it up for dick, I'd have joined him on my knees sucking cock, I thought. What a freaky idea. I guess girls thought of this stuff. Maybe I was thinking these things because I was suddenly on my back getting stuffed, maybe I was thinking about it because it was true. Then that made me think about the orgasm yesterday and that was WAY more intense than getting my rocks off in Tim's mouth. I felt like a girl when I did this. I did not feel like a guy in the least at this point.
"Talk to me, baby," Zach interrupted my brain wanderings. "I want to hear your thoughts."
"I can't stop it," I told him. "I feel like a girl when I'm getting fucked."
"That's because girls get fucked. They suck dick too if they are a good girl," he added.
I moaned. I swear he was purposefully hitting that p-spot. Like he wanted me to cum.
"Shit, how do you do that," I moaned.
"That?" he asked while rubbing the head of his dick inside me at some point. "You talking about that?"
"Yesssss, oh. Oh. Oh."
I felt dumb. I couldn't control it. He was controlling those feelings. His cock was doing this to me, making me feel this way.
"Yes. God yes. Fuck me," I moaned.
I don't remember thinking about how to get a girl off when I was fucking. Well, maybe I thought about it, but really if I admitted it, I was thinking about getting myself off. Now, a man was getting me off with his dick. Pleasing me with his cock. Shit, this was fucked up.
"Ooooohhhhhh," I moaned loudly. "ugh, ugh, ugh, yes."
"If I didn't know better, baby I'd think you were enjoying this," Zach teased. "Seems to me you've found your calling in life. I think you like getting a man off with your cunt."
"Yes! Ohhhhh, goddddd. Fuck me, Daddy," I rambled on, "fuck me hard. Cum inside me."
"Not yet, girl. You need more of this for a while. You need to adjust to being my girl, meeting my needs."
"Yes. I need it," I agreed. "Feels so good."
"You need cock to get off, don't you?"
"Yes," I agreed. "Yes, I need cock, now"
How could it feel so good? Fuck, I was a girl. I swear. I needed a cock to get off. I could still be a guy in the frat right, but I'd be a girl in bed. I'd be a girl for cock, to get that feeling. I squeezed my pussy and Zach moaned.
"Ohhh, girl, that feels so good. You do want Daddy's seed don't you?"
"Yes. I do. Feels so good."
"You slut. You're a slut already, Donor. Got some dick now and you've lost all ability to think," Zach growled.
It just made me moan and squeeze down on his dick again. It was like I was trying to capture his cock before he pulled it back, then slid deep inside again. Fuck I could use my pussy to get Zach off, I thought. I began squeezing down, using the muscles in my cunt to wrap his cock up. Really could feel it hard and pushing at me.
"Yeah, that's it baby. Milk my dick. Get yourself off," he told me. "You're going to cum before I do, girl. Listen to me and get yourself off."
I listened. I listened to everything he told me. Every damn teasing word. I closed my eyes and sank further into pleasure. The dick made me lose my mind. I only thought about cock in me and getting off. It was transforming me. His dick was making me into his girl. Fuck, any dick would make me act like this I bet. I was acting like a slut, moaning, and twisting in the bed.
"You got yourself to this point, baby. I bet you can get yourself off again," Zach told me.
I wrapped my arms around him too and pulled him in tight to me. Fuck, his cock felt good. Hitting just the right spots. I dug my fingers into the skin on his back as he fucked slow and steady.
"Yeah, you bitch, clawing at me. See how you really behave? All butch and man-like out in the world but like a slut in bed. You're my slut, Donor. Slutty girl getting fucked."
"Ohhh, oh," fuck he's right. "Oh," listen to my voice. "Oh," my moans were getting loud and higher pitched.
"Moan like a whore, girl. Squeeze that cock if it feels good."
I squeezed and Zach let out a guttural sound.
"Feels so good. Nice open, wet, warm pussy. Love watching you get fucked, girl, by me or by another man. Bet you go off and get fucked by other guys now too, girl. You know what really feels good and you'll go find it," he teased.
I didn't think I could do that. That would be way too gay, but it felt so good and thinking about it and all the guys I knew got me hotter than ever.
"Yeah, I can see your mind spinning, girl. You want to know if that pussy will get other men in bed too."
"YESSS!! Oh fuck, okay I do. I love this feeling. I'm so close to getting off just from a fuck. Feels soooo good," I mumbled as he picked up his speed. I could feel my worn-out hole starting to quiver. It felt good and used. This is what it was for. Screw all that time I hadn't been getting fucked by a man, I'd be looking for cock a lot.
"Yeah, that's right, baby, dick is what does this to you, dick gets you hot."
"Yes," I agreed. "I really love cock." I meant it too. Loved this cock inside, fucking me. Loved this feeling of total release.
"You never felt this way until I showed you, girl. I taught you the benefits of a good fuck."
"I never knew. Soooo good."
"Just need to spread those legs, girl, then this dick and your happiness is waiting for you."
Oh fuck. I was moaning in heat. It wasn't that sniffing drug, it was cock. I wanted to get fucked.
"You got 8 inches in you girl. Feels so good working you over with it," Zach talked non-stop to me about his cock and my pussy. How I was meant to take cock. How he could tell from my reactions. I hadn't wanted it to be so good. I wanted to hate this, but I couldn't. I couldn't fake these feelings.
"Your pussy is twitching, baby. I can tell you are close."
"mmmmpph, yes, mmmmph, want it, mmmmmm, so good," I was a mumbling fool.
Zach was pumping fully in and out. I could feel every inch moving in and out. His hips banged into my ass as he shoved all of it in. My pussy would start to feel empty as he pulled nearly all the way out then slid it back in, filling me up again. The fullness, the damn friction on my p-spot. I heard myself before I realized what was going to happen.
"Oooohhhhhhhh godddddddddddd, oh fuck." My toes curled, I grasped Zach as tight as I could, my fingers clawing at his back. A warmth spread over me starting in my hole and then moving up my spine. I bucked as it reached a peak, throwing my hips up off the bed.
"That's it, ride that wave, girl. You're a slut for cock, Donor. Cum for me, cum now, baby."
"Fuckkkkkkk!! I moaned loudly. I was cumming, having a big orgasm again. Feeling pleasure in all parts of my body. I could feel my hole clamp down tight on Zach's dick. Every stroke now seemed to double my pleasure. My eyes opened and there was Zach grinning, fucking me. I was still moaning like a girl, I could hear myself, but it was disconnected from me. Didn't fit my original thoughts about me. This was soooo hotttt. I was cumming from Zach fucking me. I was cumming again from getting fucked.
"You're a natural, girl. That cunt feels so good to both of us," he explained before he moaned and his cock got even harder than it has been. It was so weird feeling his dick get even stiffer inside me then as he buried it deep in me and his hips ground against my ass, I felt his nuts pulsing, I could tell he was shooting his load.
"Yes!!, oh god yes, fill me up. Give it to me," I told him.
"Fuck girl, fucking tight. Take it. Take my seed in you," Zach nearly shouted. "Giving you what you want."
It was so hot. We were cumming together. Zach was emptying his load in my cunt and I was quivering from the intense fuck I had taken, from the skill he had working my p-spot. I grabbed his head and brought his mouth down to mine. I stuck my tongue in his mouth and I started kissing his and biting at his lips. Girls kissed in bed like this during sex. I'd seen it. Now it made sense.
Zach collapsed on top of me. I rubbed his back as he breathed heavy into my ear, whispering shit. He seemed exhausted from the fuck.
"So good, Donor. You're a hot fuck! Loved seeing you cum in that cage. Told you that you didn't need to play with it to cum."
Fuck, I hadn't even noticed my dick. How'd I not notice my dick? I ran my hand down to my cage and it was all gooey at the end of it. My dick was sorta semi hard in there, but I didn't notice it until I touched the tip and shivers went through me again. I stopped touching it, it was too sensitive.
"Fuck," was all I could think to say.
"Talk to me, girl. Tell me how good that was."
I could barely get words to form on my lips. It wasn't even a rough fuck. Just a slow fuck and I'd gone all girl again. He'd taken me right there.
"So intense," I mumbled. "It was amazing."
"Once you go Zach, you always come back," he said.
"Bastard," I told him. He pinched my ass sharply and I jumped. "Sir," I said instead.
He sat up and stared at me. My legs were folded up and he was pressing down on them. His cock was still inside me. He moved it in and out in a quick motion and I moaned again.
"I'll start over again if you need more, girl," he told me. "You're all lubed up now with my load, so I'll just slide in even easier."
I thought briefly about it. The morning had started better than anything I'd ever imagined. My cunt felt full and satisfied. My cunt! Couldn't believe I was thinking about it that way. Maybe I could go another round. It was as if I had only been pretending to have sex prior to Zach. Something had clicked, and it was right. Cock in my ass was what I needed. Being a girl to his boy was what real sex was about. There was no hesitation on this.
"Fuck me again," I sighed.
I was still thinking about Zach. Maybe I'd gone too far. Still it sorta pissed me off that I had given Zach access to Tim's mouth, then let him go further with Donor than I thought would be possible. I never figured Donor would give in to him. This house was out of control and that bothered me.
Tim was giving his ass up to Manuel and who knows what else he was doing here that I hadn't been told yet. Donor was putting out for Zach, he was probably putting out for others too. This was not the farm, but I needed to practice controlling all these fags and boys, so I knew what I was doing at the farm. I needed them to fall under my leadership, not their own. I could tell Timmy to be a slut, but it would be at my direction, not his own. I'd get Zach to be one of the fags here, admit he wanted dick as much as the rest of them. I didn't care if he kept his own fag, but he'd do it my way, how I decided I wanted him to do it. This house would run my way. I already could get control of a lot of the others using Timmy as bait. They'd all come around to my way of thinking and running the place. It made sense to practice here for the farm, learn what I could do here. Taking Zach down was simply removing any challenge to my authority.
I'd managed to bring Timmy's family in line. That thought reminded me I should check on them, see how life was going after I opened up their eyes. That thought made me smile. If I could solve their problems with my dick and my knowledge, I'd get this house in line too, At least I'd get as many as were interested in being my boys in line with my expectations. Made me feel damn good seeing these things come together for me, for Timmy, and for anyone else who was in the house that wanted a piece of my boys.
"Hey Timmy," he hollered. I could hear Zach calling me. He'd find me if he came towards the kitchen. "Oh, there you are," he said.
"Want anything?" I asked. "As long as I'm making a sandwich, I can make one for you," I told him.
"Nah, I'm good. Thanks though, boy."
Zach was a good guy. He hadn't hassled me about any blow jobs since the break and he was teaching Donor a few things. I had figured out they were busy doing stuff, but I didn't know what exactly. I knew Donor was locked up again, which I am sure was going to screw with his mind, much more than me being locked I guessed.
"What are you doing on Saturday night," he asked.
"I haven't checked yet," I told him. "I'll need to ask Ian."
"Of course," Zach said with a sneer. "Don't want to do anything Ian hasn't approved of doing."
I looked over at him as I put the lid back on the mayo and put away the sandwich meat and other sandwich makings.
"I just wouldn't want to do anything if he has plans," I explained. "If he doesn't I can see if he wants to go."
"Good. You don't want to miss this party. Alonzo Brown is hosting a big party this Saturday. Donor and I are going."
"Who's Alonzo Brown?" I asked.
"Football player. Wild guy. Should be a great time. Lots of guys will be there."
"It sounds good to me. Maybe Ian will let me go, even if he has other stuff to do."
"Check with him," he told me. "I'll mention it too when I see him."
"When you see who? Me?" Ian interjected. He'd just walked in. I guess he must have known we were talking about him.
"Here's your sandwich," I said, handing him his plate. "Want chips too?"
"Yeah, sounds good, boy. What else we got in there," he said pointing at the refrigerator.
"I think someone left some potato salad in there from dinner the other night."
"I'll have some of that too, boy,"
"Yes, Sir," I told him. I guess he had no problem addressing me as boy or me calling him Sir when Zach was around.
"So, I was asking Timmy if he had any interest in going to a party on Saturday night," Zach started explaining. "He said he'd need to check with you to see if there were any plans or if he was allowed to go."
"Party, huh?" Ian sounded non-committal. He took his food and headed to the table and sat down. I just stood near the counter and ate the one I made for myself.
"Oh, shit, Sorry, let me get you some water, Sir." I noticed he had nothing to drink.
"Yeah, a buddy, Alonzo Brown is having a party on Saturday. Should be good."
"Alonzo Brown? The guy on the football team? How do you know him?" Ian asked. "I didn't figure a gay boy like you would know anything about football."
"Class, how else? They take classes too," Zach replied.
"So, what makes his parties good?" Ian asked.
"Same thing that makes anyone's parties good," Zach explained. "People, music, drinks. He usually has a good mix of people."
"Might be nice to go to a party that isn't a fraternity party," Ian mused.
"Can we go, Sir?" I asked. "I'd like to get out to a party before classes start."
I was interested in finding out more about Zach's friends. He was gay and maybe he knew other gay people here. I only knew Jimmy, who I hadn't seen since Ian fucked him, and I guess Donor and Zach. I don't know what Donor considered himself. I wanted to see if maybe there were other guys on campus who got into guys. I didn't get to talk being gay with anyone, just rules and instructions from Ian. I'd blown or gotten fucked by guys in town, but I didn't hang with them at all. And I was pretty sure that most all of them didn't think of themselves as gay, they just took what they could from me to get off. I got that part, but it would be nice to maybe have a friend here who understood being a bottom boy for a man.
"You up for a party, Timmy? Like Halloween?" Ian laughed at that. Zach smiled but I wasn't sure he got the joke.
"Well, if that's what you want, Sir," I answered. I knew I could spend a party sucking dick. I'd done it before. "I'd rather not get dressed up again, but if you think I could suck dick there, that would be cool."
"You're a real cocksucker, Timmy," he told me.
Zach smiled, and I blushed a bit. Ian still could get me to blush.
"Yeah, I've gotten to appreciate a big hard cock in my mouth, or my ass," I replied. I could make statements like that now about myself. I got it. I enjoyed men for sex. The guys laughed.
"Yeah, why don't we plan on the party, Timmy. It could be fun, be good to get away from the house."
"You going to show me off?" I asked.
"Hell, yeah," Ian said quickly. "You've spent a lot of time working on that body. You're going to pack that ass and chest into some tight clothes for me and show whoever is there how good I've made you look."
I liked that idea. Showing off for people I didn't know. Kinda hot thinking maybe other people might find me attractive, find me hot like Ian did. I guess I did it other places without thinking about it but dressing up as Ian wanted and going with him to a party got me excited. My brain was rushing to a million thoughts.
"Great!" Zach stated. "We'll head over about 7 then. Be ready," he added. Then left the room.
"Damn! Fuck that hurts," I said.
I yanked down my thong and looked at my cage. I'd really done it this time. Something wasn't arranged right, and I'd managed to pinch some skin on my nuts with the chastity cage. I looked and sure enough I'd drawn blood.
"Ian! I'm bleeding," I called out. He looked over disinterested from where he sat waiting for me to finish getting dressed.
He stood up and took a couple steps over to where I was standing. He glanced down at my junk and saw where I'd managed to pinch the skin. He sighed.
"How'd you manage that?" he asked.
"I don't know. Hurt like a bitch when it happened," I replied.
"I think I'll let you out for the night," he mused. "No need to irritate it any more tonight. Probably be fine in the morning."
He wandered over to his desk and returned with the key. He bent over and unlocked my dick, manhandling my junk in the process. As the device came off, I immediately started to get hard as he massaged my nuts where it had pinched.
"Fuck! See? This is why it needs to be locked up. Your dick has no business getting hard around me. You won't use it with me, so I prefer it locked."
"Yes, Sir. I get it. It hasn't been out and free since you put it on."
"You miss it at all, boy?" he asked curiously.
"Not really," spilled out of my mouth before I really thought about it. "I mean, yeah, sometimes. Not with you, no. With you, I don't feel it is important."
"It isn't," he confirmed.
"But yeah, at times I do think about whether I could fuck someone ever again," I admitted to him.
He looked at me and I looked back. He was thinking something.
"Yeah, we'll leave it unlocked for the night. Maybe there will be something at the party I might decide to let you fuck," he said. "Not promising, just saying, I might find you a twink that you could handle. Some boy who's a bigger fag than you, so you aren't using it on a real man or anything." He laughed as he said it. "Not that the party we're going to will be like that. I mean football players and all."
I thought about it for a few seconds. I doubted it too. "Thanks, Sir. I'll behave unless you tell me otherwise."
"I know you will, Timmy," he assured me wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
I was completely scared about the party. I knew Zach had plans for Ian and for Timmy and probably for me, but he hadn't shared what they were. As many times as I had asked, he shut me down each time saying I'd figure it out when we got there, that I didn't need to know ahead of time. It wasn't like I was going to tell anyone, kinda pissed me off he wouldn't say anything to me.
At least he kept me stuffed with his cock at every opportunity. I was so fucking horny not jacking off at all. I hadn't spent any time ever thinking how horny you could get if you weren't jacking off because I'd never considered NOT jacking off. But now I didn't have the option to do it and I needed to fuck to even have a chance to get some relief.
I didn't cum every time Zach fucked me, but I sure did orgasm when he was pounding my hole. It was the most intense thing I'd ever felt, and I couldn't get enough. Getting stuffed with his dick was totally the right thing for me.
Okay, so really, I was scared about the party because I'd be going with Zach. It would be like being his boyfriend. I'd be going WITH him, like as in date or whatever. It wasn't like hanging at the frat or a bar, this was like going to a party where a bunch of guys would be hanging out and I'd be with Zach. It would be clear for everyone, not the least because Ian and Tim would be there together. We'd arrive at the same time, with each other. Was that weird or what? I'd need to adjust to that I guess. As long as I was locked it wasn't like I'd be chasing any pussy. As far as Zach always said, I had a pussy and he was fucking it.
I had showered, cleaned myself out like he taught me and was getting on some clothes. He'd told me what to wear, nothing special, just the usual really, maybe a bit dressed up. I wasn't in sweats or anything. Jeans and a polo shirt, a sweater. I looked a little preppy really.
"Hey," Zach called from the hall. I opened the door and let him in. "Looks good, girl," he said.
"Are you gonna call me that at the party?" I asked a little aggravated. I didn't ever feel like a girl unless his dick was buried in my hole. Then I admit I felt like a girl, getting long dicked by the man.
"Maybe," he admitted. "Depends on the crowd. You tell me every time I screw your cunt that you feel like a girl."
"Yeah, well, I do, but it isn't in public and I don't feel like one right now."
"Okay, baby, chill out. Don't go all bitchy on me before the party," he instructed.
I sighed. I wasn't good at being gay. I didn't think about guys, except when I was getting fucked or thinking about following Zach's orders. I just wasn't gay, I told myself for probably the five hundredth time since he'd first fucked me before break. I was just submissive and liked having someone set the ground rules for me. It was the control I gave up that got me hot and bothered, not being with a man so much. But yeah, that cock, that's what always put it in my head again. I loved cock in my pussy.
Zach slapped my ass and told me the others were ready. I grabbed my coat and we headed downstairs.
Ian and Tim were there waiting. I guess I hadn't paid attention to the time. It wasn't a strength of mine.
"She finally ready," Ian asked? "At least we know now why she's always late, girl time."
Haha, I thought as the others laughed. It wasn't girl time. Just lazy time, not paying attention. We left the house and started walking.
Ian and Zach headed up the group. Tim and I fell in behind the men. Strange that I noticed that right away. We were just walking and listening to Ian and Zach. They weren't talking much but they were exchanging random things it seemed. I looked over at Tim. He was not paying any attention to Ian or anything . He was looking at the ground.
"You know anything about the party we're going to?" I asked. He looked over at me.
"No, not really. Only what Zach said. Some buddy of his who plays on the football team."
"Alonzo Brown," I said.
"You know him?"
"Yeah, I met him the other day. We went over to his place."
"What's he like?"
"He's big," I told Tim. "Huge. Like 6 feet 7 or so, and probably close to 300 pounds."
"Wow, he is big."
"His dick is HUGE!" I heard myself say that line and realized how gay that sounded. "I mean, dude has a foot-long dick, pretty impressive."
Timmy looked over at me with a strange look on his face. I wasn't sure he believed I had said it. I hadn't believed I said it. It was weird to be talking about a guy's dick, wasn't it? What did I know? I thought I had a decent dick until I started seeing dick all over the frat house. Zach, Ian, Alonzo. They were all bigger than me in that department. Maybe I had a small one and hadn't realized it all these years. I always thought I had a big fat cock.
"Soooo," Tim started. "Does that mean he fucked you?"
I blushed. I hadn't really meant to talk about this. I could feel my face heat up. "Uhmm, yeah, he uhhh, yeah. Pretty fucking unbelievable. I think I liked it. You know, getting fucked."
Tim laughed. He kept looking over at me and chuckling. I guess it was kinda funny if you thought about it. I mean, I had been pretty freaked out when I learned Ian had fucked Tim. Pissed me off and I didn't get it at first, and now I was talking about taking a big cock. My attitude had been adjusted. Zach was pretty good at explaining things to me. I'd changed my thinking on this stuff.
"You liked it, huh?" he wanted confirmation.
"Uhmm yeah. Pretty intense. Felt good. No, great, it felt great." Geez I sounded like an idiot. "I mean, you know."
"Yeah, I know," he told me. "I like it too. Really a lot. I kinda feel empty sometimes if I am not getting dick regular," he added.
"Really? So that is, like normal?" I asked. I really wondered if that was a thing, missing dick in your butt, cuz I had sorta been thinking along that line. My butt seemed empty sometimes when I thought too much about it. I had caught myself thinking about getting Zach's cock back inside me, like it belonged there all the time. It was a crazy thought.
"Times change, huh? I mean, you were pretty rude to me and now you are doing the same stuff you were calling me names about," Tim reminded me.
"Uhm, yeah, so like I said, I'm sorry about that, dude. I, uhmmm, well, I just didn't know anything. Yeah, things change, huh." Geez I sounded stupid.
"Don't worry about it, I get it," Tim told me. "It just took a man like Zach to show you what you wanted."
I thought about that for a minute. Maybe I needed a man to show me. I had asked him to be my boss, to let me be his sub. He must have wanted it, or he wouldn't have agreed to it. He sure seemed to like fucking me. Hell, I sure seemed to like getting fucked too. Like I was always meant to do it. How come I'd never figured it out on my own?
"So, uhmm, did you figure out you were uhm, you know, gay? I mean, like on your own? Did you know you wanted to be Ian's bitch?"
Geez I sounded stupid. What was I asking this stuff for?
"No, not really, but kinda," he answered.
"Sorry I sound so dumb," I told him. "I don't remember ever thinking about dick. I mean, everyone looks at it in a locker room and all, but I never like LOOKED at it, ya know?"
Tim laughed again.
"Look," he said. "No labels. I'm pretty sure I'm at least Bi. I did a few girls, not as many as I think you did, but I thought about guys a lot. I just didn't think about sex so much with them. When I think back to high school and stuff, I did a lot of thinking about guys, but I never did anything with them. Maybe I'm gay, I don't know. But I'm real comfortable with Ian. He likes being in charge and he likes fucking. I like the fucking. I like him making decisions. It's scary sometimes that he wants total control, but it feels good to let him have it most of the time."
"Doesn't that make you wonder, I mean, what if Ian makes a crazy decision for you?"
"Well, what if Zach makes a crazy decision for you, Donor? You seem to be letting him treat you that way too."
"Yeah, I told him he can make my decisions. It's pretty hot letting him tell me what to do. So far. I mean, it isn't like I can't tell him no."
"You already lost the use of your dick. What else are you going to lose? Haven't you thought about that? Ian has changed a lot in my life, Donor."
"Yeah, I hear you. I've seen how you've changed," I told him. "I mean, dude, you have a fucking hot ass."
That made me blush as I said it. But I had admitted it to him. I had looked at his ass more than once in the last month. Not that I could ever use it. Ian would beat the hell out of me, and of course there was the fact my dick was locked up and couldn't get hard anyway.
"You think so?" Tim asked honestly. "You think it looks that good?"
"Hell yeah. Don't you see the way other guys look at you now? They aren't looking at you like a dude. The guys at the house see you walking around showing off your ass in those tight pants, the tiny shorts. They see you as a, well as a, you know, something to fuck or tease, ya know?"
Donor was right. Ian had made me into his vision of a sex toy or something. I'd gone along with it. I liked the idea of him making changes. Letting him choose what to wear or how I appeared. I knew Miguel had ordered the tiny short shorts for me and loved watching me wearing them around the house. He was seeing me as a sex toy too. I checked my clothes for tonight. Ian had told me to wear some of the tightest stuff I had. I guess he was going to be showing me off at the party.
"What if Zach sends you to the gym every day to build up your ass?" I asked Donor. I wondered how he'd take to that?
"I don't know," he replied. "He hasn't said anything about it. You think he'll do that?"
"That's pretty much the point, Donor. You gave him control and either you know what he'll do with you, or you wait and find out. It can take a while to adjust to not having control, to realizing you gave it up for some reason. I just kinda go with it now. I want to be with Ian so bad I am okay with him taking the lead. I think he's so hot when he's in charge. He's such a stud."
"It sounds like you're in love with him," Donor said.
I had to think about that. I hadn't really used that word in my head, but I could see it. I did love Ian. I wanted to do whatever he wanted me to do. He was always so pleased when I did that, and I had just continued doing it. It really didn't matter what it was, I had pretty much given in to doing his wishes. I received a lot of positive feedback from him at times and I loved to hear "good boy" when I finished something that he enjoyed having complete.
"I guess so," was all I could manage in return. "I, I hadn't really thought about it. I think I'm too scared to think about it."
"Totally," Donor added. "I can see that. I mean, does anyone ever plan on falling in love?"
We continued walking. We both seemed to be thinking. I sure was lost in thought about maybe being in love with Ian. Did I love him? What was love? Was love service? Was love doing what your man wanted you to do?
The boys fell in line behind us. I had a feeling it was Timmy's training to not walk with Ian if other men were around. I was initially hesitant to walk with Ian, but the boys immediately started talking and so to not make this any weirder, I walked next to Ian. It was silent initially. I mean it was going to be a bit weird, right? He had fucked me earlier in the week. I guessed it was part of his need to subdue everything around him, I needed to know more about it.
I glanced over at Ian as we walked. He was pretty impressive. He was dressed to kill tonight. Tight, dark blue, Levi 501 jeans that bulged at his crotch. Ian's dick could be seen in most pants, but when he slid into his 501 jeans there was no doubt he was packing. The buttons on those jeans looked ready to pop at any second.
Obviously, he figured there would be women at the party or he wouldn't have put on his good jeans. That would be a surprise, but probably one that Ian could handle. If there were any women at the party they would be men underneath. That surprise wouldn't be the one that got to him. The surprise that got to him was going to be the one where he lost control and is strapped to a table for open use of his ass. I hoped I could pull it off.
"What do you think of trans women," I asked Ian. I wanted to feel him out on the subject. The discussion I wanted to have about Donor when he jumped me in his room.
"Trans? What brings that up?" he asked back at me.
"So, let me ask you what you think on something. Every time I fuck Donor he says he feels like a woman. He says he's not gay, but that when I first fucked him, he said he felt like a girl the whole time. Since then, every time we fuck, he gets all girly in certain things. He acts like he has a pussy. He talks about his titties and his cunt. It's pretty kinky, but if I'm doing this long term, I got to figure out if that is something he wants or something that is kinky only," I admitted. I mean, I'm gay. I'm good with that description, pretty sure I don't need a woman as my boy, if that makes sense. Donor would make a strange woman I think, so I am leaning to thinking it's just a kink."
"Seriously?" Ian laughed. He glanced behind us to look at Donor. "Yeah, hard to imagine him as a girl."
"You know any trans women?" I asked.
"Oh yeah. A few," he said.
"Really?" I was surprised actually. Where would he meet them? "You hang around trans women these days?"
"Something like that," he said. "I have a job at a farm where there are a lot of submissive guys, fags really. Maybe I'll take you out one day."
"But there are trans women there? What do they look like?"
Ian just laughed again. "Some look real good. Frankly, a lot of the fags I know from there are somewhere in between man and woman," he said. "Like boys with real pussies, or boys dressed up as girls who have their dicks still. Pretty interesting. I even had to make the decision to send a boy to Mexico to have the surgery to make him a full-time woman," he said.
I couldn't believe that part. That was one step too far, I thought. How could one person make that decision for another person.
"What?!? How is that even possible? What kind of farm is this?"
Ian looked over at me. "Don't share that with anyone, Zach. It's a farm where fags are sent or go to when they need to be trained, to be improved. Sometimes men send their fag there for a month or two of submission training. Sometimes boys go there if they have heard of it to be trained. There was a fag there named Stacy, couldn't manage her own life as a guy. Kept screwing up as a guy. Finally, the owner of the farm said that a decision needed to be made. Stacy had signed over medical rights to the owner of the farm and so he asked me what decision to make about Stacy. Stacy presented as a very female-like boy, makeup, manicure, long hair, it wasn't a tough decision. The testosterone of her balls was too much for her to manage, she needed to have those parts fixed so she couldn't get in trouble with her dick anymore. It was pretty great, knowing I had the final say on changing her into a full-time girl."
"Holy shit!" I said. My dick had gotten hard as Ian described it. "So, you actually made the decision to have her dick and nuts cut off and changed into a vag?"
"Yep. Not a decision for just anyone," he said pointedly to me. "Only a real Man can make those choices, Zach. Especially when a fag can't make them on their own."
"What do you mean only a man makes that choice? Isn't that a decision the individual makes?" I asked.
"Zach, sometimes a person is just not capable of making their own decisions. They THINK they want to make decisions, but they really aren't equipped to do it. They don't have the ability. They know most times what is best, but actually taking the steps to doing it, they don't have that in them. They rely on their man for those decisions. If they don't have a man, they just sort of wallow in their own drama and don't take the steps. I don't know fully yet what keeps them from doing it, I think they need the approval from someone else before they can do it. They can even put up a fight, but in the end, when all is said and done they are happy about what the man decides. They have been waiting for someone to come along and tell them what they need to do."
"So, if Donor can't make these choices, then I should start taking it upon me to figure out what he needs and enforce those decisions? I asked."
"Yeah, basically that is what you need to do. Look at Tim. He's a hell of a lot happier with me deciding what he's going to be doing. He struggles from time to time, but he never says no, and eventually he sees things the way I want him to see them."
"Isn't that just you enforcing your choices on him? I mean, where is the line between what you want and what you think he needs?" I wondered aloud.
"So, let me give you an example or two," Ian said. "What I want for instance is someone to clean my room, do my laundry, keep up with small things that I don't always have time for. I told Tim to do these, and he did. The consequence is something else he was doing is going to lose out. He can see what he would rather do. I told him I wanted him to look a certain way, I gave him exercises to do, he does them. Again, my wants take precedence. He has opted to cut the swimming back so he can meet the expectations. He loves the way he is looking. It wasn't something he could do on his own. I had to support him in it at first, but now he sees what it does for him and it's what he wants. Swimming lost out because it just wasn't as important as what I wanted, what he learned he wanted."
Huh, I got that. It made me hard thinking about taking that sort of control. I adjusted my dick as we kept walking. I just hadn't taken it to that level before, that level Ian felt he could take it to. And frankly I wasn't sure Ian had taken it to the next level where those decisions had consequences for him too. If you took your "boy" to that level didn't you have responsibilities to the boy too? My brain and gut said yes. If I took Donor to a level of submission like that, which I wasn't even sure after this short time he could handle, I'd feel plenty of responsibility toward him. I thought Ian was just taking people down a path to see if he could do it.
"Why'd you fuck me?" I asked directly. I stared at him as we walked. He glanced over and caught my stare.
"Because I could," was all he said.