Becoming a Boy 63
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The doorbell rang at the frat. No one rang the doorbell. People texted ahead of time and whoever was ready when someone showed up. I ignored it. I was finishing cleaning Ian's room. Even though he'd been ignoring me mostly the last couple days I felt a need to maintain all of the regular chores and stuff. I was bothered about him ignoring me, a hint of anger in his voice, but I didn't know where it was coming from. I thought it was me, but he kept saying it wasn't, that he had stuff on his mind. The bell kept ringing and I was going to go answer it when I heard it stop and went back to my cleaning.
A few moments later though I heard one of the brothers shouting for Ian. I wasn't sure he was in, so I picked up the rest of the cleaning supplies and started my way down the stairs to return them to the storage area and see what was up. I'd let them know he wasn't around. When I made it downstairs I saw an older guy standing there at the door and Ian was in, I hadn't seen him. He must have been off hiding in the TV area or someplace. I just kept going, it wasn't for me to listen in, might piss Ian off more than he already was, whatever it was.
When I came back upstairs to the main floor the argument was still going. The door was wide open and the man was standing inside and throwing his hands around in the conversation.
"Well, she says it was YOU," he insisted.
"And I say it wasn't, old man," insisted Ian. "She's lying that it was me. I had a condom on the whole fucking time. She may WANT it to be me, but it wasn't."
Oh fuck! Was someone accusing Ian of getting them pregnant? Who the hell was this guy?
"Damn it, come in here, girl," the older guy said. "Talk me through this again."
I was already freaking out when the guy was talking then the `girl' in question walked in and I was shook. It was Tressa. She was crying and clearly not happy to be here. I went around a pillar in the area and tried to stay out of sight.
"Tell him what you told me, Tressa," the guy who was clearly her Dad said. "Tell him what you said."
"Dad, I can't believe you want me to do this. I just want to get out of here. I don't want to deal with this," Tressa whined.
"I don't care what you want, girl, I want the man who is responsible to own up to it and take responsibility. I want you married so you can have this baby, legally. There ain't no way in hell you are getting an abortion at this point. The Lord does not approve of abortions and you know it." he told her.
"DADDY! Ohmigod!" she wailed.
Fuck! A crazy man and his freaky daughter. Ian had fucked her and so had I. The last girl I fucked and she's hunting down Ian to pin the deed on him. What a crazy week, I thought.
"Look Mr. uhm, well, Mister, I am not the person you are looking for. I don't care what Tressa says, it isn't me," Ian claimed.
"IAN!" she wailed, "It was you. I only had sex with you in that time frame. I didn't do anything else with anyone, I swear," Tressa claimed. She cried more for good cause, I thought.
"I told you he was no good, baby. We'll need to change his opinion with the test," her father stated. "I'm not going anywhere until he takes the test. To prove it's his. Then he'll feel a responsibility."
Oh fuck! This guy was really crazy. He was totally trying to get his daughter married off to get her baby a daddy.
"Look Mister, uhhh, sorry I don't know your last name. It wasn't me."
"IAN!" Tressa wailed. "You don't even know my last name. I thought you loved me."
"Tressa, we had sex a couple times. I wore a freaking condom. It wasn't me."
"Boy, you're going to come take this test, cause my baby girl says it's you."
I'd had enough. The man was crazy, Tressa was lying, and my man Ian was going to get caught between the two of them. I came out from behind the pillar and walked over to the door.
"Hi Tressa," I said. She looked at me all crazy, like she didn't know me.
"Uhm, hi Dan."
"It's Timmy," I told her. "I wanna take the test too. I had sex with her last fall too."
"NOOO!" she wailed. God this girl was wild crazy.
"Timmy, go back upstairs. I can handle this."
"No, Ian. We both fucked her that night. If you have to take the test, then I do too. I might be the father of that baby."
Everyone stared at me.
"Tressa, you told me this one was the only one. How many other boys you been screwing? You told me you weren't a slut."
"Daddy, it was just once. Just that one time. I don't remember him doing it with me. Mostly they did each other," she said.
Great, the crazy girl can't remember me fucking her, but she remembers me and Ian doing each other.
"YOU LET TWO QUEERS DEFILE YOU? ARE YOU CRAZY GIRL? YOU"RE NOTHING BUT A SLUT!" Her dad hollered at her.
"Look, buddy," Ian started.
"I ain't your buddy, faggot," he snapped. "Can't believe my baby let you two queers knock her up." Ain't no way I'm gonna let her marry either one of you. I guess she'll be giving that baby up for adoption."
"NNoooooo," Tressa wailed. "I don't even want a baby."
"I told you already you aint having no abortion."
"Look," Ian started. "I'll go have the test if y'all just shut the fuck up. Timmy doesn't need to go. I'm sure it isn't him."
"Ian!" Now it was my turn to wail. "I screwed her too. I'm not letting you go if I don't go," I insisted.
"Timmy. I've already told you to go upstairs. Don't argue with me."
"No!" I insisted, I wasn't sure where my voice came from. "I'm not letting her get away with trying to get you in a shotgun wedding. You didn't do anything. It was her fault, she wanted both of us, even if she can't remember what the hell my name is. She planned this from the beginning, making me go find you when I had already been nailing her at that party."
Ian looked at me like I was crazy. I could tell he didn't appreciate my overstepping the rules. He had told me to leave and I disobeyed his orders. Tressa had a crazy look on her face too. Maybe I was telling more of the story that her Daddy had never heard. Maybe he needed to know his daughter was a slut. And Daddy looked confused as fuck, looking at all of us standing there. Finally, it was him that spoke.
"Aw, fuck. I don't care how many of you go, but I'm gonna find out who the daddy of this baby is and I'm going to make y'all marry my daughter."
"Daddy, I don't want to marry anyone! I just want to not be pregnant," she whimpered.
"Well you should have thought of that before you went whoring yourself out to a bunch of queers, Tressa," he responded. "You will never go back to this school because you don't have any clue how to act."
"Fuck!" Ian sighed. "Fine. Let's go. I have other things to do today besides argue who's the daddy. All I can tell you is it isn't me."
I wish I could be so sure. Ian and I had been all over her that night. If she had really wanted to get pregnant and wanted to trap Ian, she could have done anything with that condom before he used it. Hell she could have done anything to mine. We used them, but I had no fricking idea where the condoms were from. I never carried them, I didn't ever get much action. She had given me a condom. Then Ian had given me one of his. Fuck, this was not the way I intended to spend the day.
God damn it all to hell. I was driving Timmy and me down to the Planned Parenthood to do a paternity test. How the fuck did everything I'd worked months to plan out end up like this? I'd gotten fucked and fucked over on the weekend and now I was being forced to go to get a paternity test only a couple days after my ass had been deflowered by my own faggot. Now I had random people calling me queer and an ex-girlfriend thinking I was Timmy's boyfriend. Was I Timmy's boyfriend? Ugh, fuck, I was in over my head, dammit. I wasn't sure suddenly that I wanted to be a Dom to a faggot submissive. Who was I to run some bitch's life?
"Ian, I just..."
"Shut up, Timmy. I don't want to talk right now."
"I said, shut UP, bitch. The least you can do is follow this order, since you couldn't seem to follow the one about leaving the discussion earlier."
Stupid faggot. Ugh, what was I thinking, getting messed up with fags? Why was their pussy so much better than the girls I fucked? Of course, the answer was obvious. They didn't try to get pregnant and trap me in a fucking marriage! Though frankly I wasn't even sure on that part as I had been feeling trapped by Timmy lately. But, the fact I could run a fag's life, change a fag to what I wanted him to be, ugh.
"Ian, Sir, I won't shut up. I let you run my life the way you want, that's fine. I get that. I'm your sub, I get that. You taught me this stuff. But you didn't teach me to sit back and let you get screwed over by some girl and her crazy evangelical Daddy with something you didn't do. I have as much chance of being that baby's daddy as you do, so I will not shut up."
Fuck, I wanted to slap the fag. She was making this choice for me. What made her so fucking dedicated. Was I supposed to just give in and accept I was going to have a fag around for a long time? How was I going to live life if I was tied down to a fag? I was not going to become a married gay guy.
"Look, Timmy, I don't know what Tressa is trying to pull here. She's always put out for any of the guys if she had a few beers in her. I wore a condom the whole time with her and I'm guessing you did too. I just don't believe there was a need for both of us to humor her or her crazy father. It was why I wanted you upstairs, away from crazy."
The fag was right, of course, ugh. The chance she could pin this on me was so slim it was almost funny. I tried to remember what exactly happened, but it was all fuzzy. I knew I had worn a bag, that I had cum, and Timmy had cum but how and when? Another reason to fuck guys, no need for a condom, if they were safe. Timmy was safe. He hadn't had much sex before me. Fuck.
"I just thought I would go along," he said again. "I'm sorry I disobeyed you directly, Sir."
"I get it Timmy. Just not needing this scene right now. Too much on my mind. Don't need you not listening," I told him. "And when we get there, just stay quiet and let me do the talking if something comes up."
"Yes, Sir," he answered properly.
Damn fag. Does most everything I tell him to do. Why did he have to be so agreeable?
We got to the place, it wasn't far; go figure, a college town needing a Planned Parenthood office near campus. It didn't take much work to fill out the paperwork. Just a couple signatures. The thing was we agreed to turn over the info to Tressa, and therefore her conservative Dad. I got that but didn't like it. Timmy was good to his word, he kept quiet.
"Excuse me, ma'am," Timmy spoke again, after he had agreed to be quiet. "How long does it take to get these results?" he asked the woman at the counter.
"It only takes 2 days, young man. Won't be long at all. We'll call you to confirm they are complete and email the results. Don't you worry."
"Thank you, Ma'am," he answered.
I gave him a look of anger and he caught it and lowered his head. I hadn't thought to ask that myself, but still, he had agreed to remain quiet. He could have asked me quietly, so I could then ask the question. He still had lessons to learn. The lady swabbed our cheek and that was it. No bloodwork needed. Just a fricking Q-tip and we were ready to go.
"I'm not leaving town until I find the boy responsible for this," the old man said pointing at Tressa's belly.
She wasn't that big really. We'd fucked in September. If it was me, that would put her at about 4 maybe 5 months. She had some ways to go yet. Fuck, it better not be me. I did not need a baby in addition to everything else going on.
"Yeah, yeah, I get that, old man. See you in a couple days," I told him.
"Your mouth is going to cause you problems in life, queer boy," he responded.
Fuck, I hated being called queer boy. I was not a fag. I owned a fag. I was seconds from simply slugging the man, but Timmy put his hand on my arm and tried to steer me toward the door. I shook it off. He needed to know I was man enough to handle myself. We walked out and got back in my car. Now I just had to wait for two days. Fucking woman.
I'd had enough. I headed out to the Farm. I needed a break from the frat. Timmy was all over me. I hadn't fucked him since the day Zach had drugged me and slung me up. I was still pissed about that, and my ass was sore the last couple days from taking all that cock. Fuck him! I didn't need to get fucked just for his amusement. I mean, I got it. I shouldn't have fucked him, but that should have worked out. He should have gotten into it and then he'd have been fine. Then that bitch Tressa shows up and announces she's pregnant and her Dad is with her wanting me to marry her because she's just sure it's me who knocked her up.
I got to the farm and started my rounds around the place. I yelled at a couple fags and felt a little better. Even kicked one in the ass for screwing up a project he'd been working on. That was what I needed. Work out some of this aggravation on the fags here. I was about to finish yelling at one fag and fuck it or ram my dick down its throat when Johnson came around the corner of the barn I was near and yelled at me to knock it off. He hadn't yelled at me before. A fag told me to fuck off, that now I was in trouble, and left in a hurry. Johnson walked over and snatched the front of my shirt.
"Look, buster. You got an issue with a fag, then talk it over with me, or another man, before you go kick any asses. What's got into you McNeil? I was watching the cameras and I see you chasing fags and kicking them, yelling and screaming at them. You know that isn't the way to motivate them and you sure as hell didn't catch them doing anything crazy enough to earn a punishment of a kick in the ass. I use punishment only when a fag isn't performing up to par on a regular basis."
He let go of my shirt and told me to follow him back to the house. We walked without talking until we got inside. He pointed at a chair in his office and I got the idea to sit down.
"Now what the fuck is going on with you, McNeil? You called in sick twice this week and now you show up and are kicking ass and scaring the fags. Not like you. I've spent a few months training you how to run this place and you suddenly going all monster on me? Not while I'm still here you won't, so you better get to talking about what the hell is bothering you."
"Been a rough week," I admitted to him. I didn't think I was going to confess anything though. It wasn't his business.
"Rough week my ass. I hear you on the phone when you call and you sound depressed. You show up here and your damaging the relationships you have with the fags. Spill it, boy. Tell me what's going on."
I didn't want to talk to Johnson. What was I gonna do? Tell him I'd gotten fucked? No way. I was not going to tell anyone about that. Fuck that. It would bring me down several pegs in his estimation of what I can do here. Alphas didn't get fucked. Men didn't get fucked. I'd lost control, I'd let myself get drugged and fucked.
"Look, Ian, we're going to sit here and talk through whatever is going on."
Johnson opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He set it down and pulled a couple shot glasses out of another drawer. He poured two shots and gave me one.
"To keeping boys in line and obedient," he said raising his glass.
"Seriously?" I picked up the glass and raised it, tapping his glass. We both poured them down and smacked the glasses on his desk. We did a second shot and it got to me more. I had to shake my head. It burned going down more than I had imagined it would.
"Shit, that is strong," I told him. "Don't usually do that in the middle of the day."
"Nope, not much need for it usually," Johnson said.
He launched in to a story about how early on in getting to know Lynn, he had sat down with her one afternoon and traded a couple shots. It hadn't affected him at all, but she was soon hanging all over him, telling him how much she loved him. It was then that he laid out his plans for Lynn to her. He was laughing how it went and I admit it was funny at points. By the end of his story I was laughing a lot. Poor Lynn had learned a lot that day. He said it was the day he had locked her clit up for the first time. He'd convinced her since she loved him, she'd be willing to give up her dick for him, and she had. Pretty funny and hot too. We did another shot.
I got to chuckling about the fag party the other night actually. I was buzzed a little and thinking how I was glad I had been mostly out of it when I'd been fucked, because if I hadn't been, I'd have been in serious pain. The story came out of me because Johnson asked why I was laughing and convinced me to tell him. I laid out the whole thing for him.
"I got stupid," I admitted. "I was doing shit I shouldn't have done. Not only did I get fucked, Timmy was the first in line. He's the one who took my hole first. He doesn't know it was me, but still, my fag was allowed to be the one to fuck me first. Then it just got worse," I explained.
Then that launched me onto the whole pregnant Tressa story. Eventually Johnson had heard it all. I was thankful he didn't say anything while I was doing it, I might not have finished.
"Boy, you have had a week. Not even finished yet. When you get the news on the paternity test?"
"Tomorrow. I'm fucked if that baby is mine. I am not going to marry that bitch, I'm NOT Johnson."
"You gonna marry your boy?" he asked.
"Fuck, Johnson, I don't want to be married at all. I'm too young to be tied down like that. I'm not even queer, what the hell am I doing with a fag who is dependent on me? I'm not queer, but my ass has been fucked by a guy with a foot long dick for god's sake."
"McNeil, I don't want to hear the `poor me' shit from you."
"Well what the fuck am I supposed to be saying, old man?" I was getting angry again. "I don't need a baby and I sure as hell don't need to be married."
"Look, let's get one thing straight, and I'm not talking about you."
"Har har har," I replied. "Bad pun."
"What if the baby isn't yours, Ian? What if the baby is Timmy's baby?"
"It's not. He was wrapped up like I was. I just can't bring myself to think it is mine, let alone his. He squirts so little and he spent more time that night with my dick in his mouth than he did with his dick in her cunt."
"Sounds like he has as much chance of being daddy as you do then," Johnson observed.
"I just can't see it," I said again.
"Okay, so let's look at the other issue then. How does getting fucked have anything to do with you maintaining control?"
"I let someone else gain control over me! I was stupid, got drugged and tied up in a sling. I got fucked in my ass by three guys for god's sake! How much control does that demonstrate??"
"Okay, okay. Calm down, Ian. You think you're the only man that's been fucked? The only one who got hoodwinked into something? You're not."
"It was stupid of me to put myself in that situation."
"Look, did getting fucked change anything about you wanting to be the alpha? Did it suddenly make you a bottom? A fag?" he asked.
"Hell no! It didn't change anything, but I got raped!"
"Did you do anything prior to that night that would lead someone to do that to you?"
Fuck Johnson. How did he know it was a payback? Why had I fucked Zach? What did it prove?
"I fucked Zach, a frat brother. He wanted it. I could see the look on his face. Then he arranged all of that with a buddy of his, a huge guy, football player, the one with the foot long cock."
"Oh, you did? Huh, and then he turned around and pulled this on you?"
"Look McNeil, sounds like he didn't want that fuck. You sure he gave you the go ahead? Or did you just happen to force yourself on him?"
"Fuck, okay, I get it. I fucked him because I wanted to do it. I wanted to show him I was in charge, that the frat house was mine to control. I wanted to practice my control there the way you are in charge here. I wanted to be the top alpha. I didn't want Zach thinking he was in charge."
Johnson just looked at me like I was stupid, as if I had crossed some sort of line.
"It isn't a game, Ian. I don't run this place by fucking everything in the house. Sure, I use my dick from time to time to push a discussion or get something I want, but I either ask permission to fuck or I make sure that my dick is wanted where it is going. You don't get your way simply by fucking everything in your way."
"Well it had worked up until then," I said. Even as I said it I realized how weak it sounded. "I didn't seem to have a problem demonstrating control over things or people before when I was fucking them."
"Because your cock was wanted, Ian. You most likely had permission or at least a desire for a fuck in that person. If someone says they don't want your cock, that means they don't want your cock. It's a fine line between a good fuck and lousy fuck, you have got to keep these things in mind."
"Fuck me. I get it okay? I fucked up. I shouldn't have taken Zach's ass. It wasn't like he was a virgin. I slid in no problem."
"That's got to be the dumbest thing you've said yet, McNeil. Do you want your ass fucked again? Johnson asked.
"Hell, no. I'm not queer."
"Believe me when I tell you, you are queer. You have a fag that can't make a decision on his own anymore. He is yours. You trained him, and he belongs to you, now. That's pretty queer."
Fuck. Why did Johnson make so much sense? I had a pretty queer life these days. I owned a fag. HA! I hadn't seen it coming, but I owned one. And I had been fucking everything I could really, men or women. Guess that's pretty queer. But I wasn't a bottom!
"Look," Johnson continued, "Your buddy Zach took you down because you took him down. I'm guessing he didn't want to get fucked anymore than you do. There are other alphas out there, Ian. You aren't the only dominant guy around. Frankly some of the best dominant guys I've met over the years were bottoms at one time. They figured out they liked getting some pussy more than they liked taking cock. You can't just go around fucking guys without consequences. Besides, you've got a fag to fcuk all you want.
"Yeah, but the fag fucked me. Zach let Timmy bust my ass open," I tried to explain.
I went through the whole story of it for Johnson. I told him how I was drugged, how I woke up in a sling, and then the string of guys who fucked me starting with Timmy. And you know what? Johnson fucking laughed. Pissed me off.
"Sounds like they had a great time. It was bound to happen McNeil. You think you can live the life you lead and not get your ass used once in a great while? Especially since you were sticking your dick where it didn't belong?"
"I expected people to respect me being an alpha!" I told him.
"Hey. Seems to me that your buddy Zach respected you more than you did him. He didn't let your boy see who he was fucking. You said he doesn't seem to have a clue it was you. Yet it was clearly humiliating for you to watch and feel your boy take you down a notch. Seems to me, that Zach guy knew what would mess with your head."
"Yeah, but I... "
"No buts, your buddy did you a favor. You are still the perfect alpha to Timmy. He won't have a clue unless you keep up the `poor me' attitude. Then he'll figure out something ain't right. You may be pissed at your buddy, but he is your buddy. He showed you respect at the same time he got back at you. It didn't kill you to take that dick. Hell, you were on some kind of muscle relaxant. Seems to me he did you pretty well in the respect department."
I hated being wrong. I hated having to figure shit out after I had fucked up somewhere. The consequences had come back to get me this week. A possible pregnancy and my fag had topped me. I don't know how it could be any worse of a week.
"Let's get back to the other issue. The whole fucking thing is really a non-issue, I'm telling you," Johnson claimed. I didn't see it that way, but I got that it wasn't the end of who I was. "What are you going to do if that kid is yours?"
"Hell if I know. Her Dad won't let her get an abortion and he is hell bent on me marrying her. I don't want to marry a woman."
"Okay, I heard that. Did you hear what you just said?"
"I don't want to marry her," I repeated.
"No, you just told me you don't want to marry a woman. That's different than saying you don't want to marry her."
Now Johnson was analyzing my speech. Fuck this. I didn't need him telling me what I was saying. I knew what I said. What IF I didn't want to marry a woman. This was the perfect example of why I wouldn't. Timmy parents liked me, and I brought them around to seeing my view. Maybe it had been a bit pushy, getting them into bed and demonstrating my control. It wasn't rape. They wanted it. They sure as hell didn't complain. That crazy woman and her father were perfect to avoid. Who would want to marry a manipulative bitch like her? Or have to deal with a crazy religious father?
"Why would I marry a woman when I've got a perfectly good fag who does everything I want? Who cleans my place, does my laundry, cooks when I want it, lets me play with him and push him to see what he can accomplish? A fa who tries his best to make me happy? What the fuck would I be doing if I let that get away and some woman came along and trapped me in a marriage that I had no interest in?"
Johnson laughed. Fuck him, I thought. He doesn't know what I want. Why was I having this conversation?
"McNeil, you just outlined every reason you have for enjoying your boy's company. Now, I'd say accept the fact you've changed some yourself over the last several months. I know you've changed that boy, now face up to your reality that it has changed you too, and decide what you intend to do."
"What if I fucked up and he doesn't respect me now? I let him use his dick and he got to use it on me. What if he finds out, you know, finds out I'm not the man he thinks?"
"You think I haven't been fucked before? You think other alphas haven't been fucked? Get over that. He doesn't have a clue from what you've said. If you aren't going to look for dick to fuck you, you're the man he sees you as."
"What happens if the baby is mine?"
"Then you deal with it. You don't need to marry her. There are other ways around that."
"Fuck, I don't want child support payments the next 20 years. Fuck me."
"You say it isn't you. Don't sweat it until you know for sure. Then talk to the old man of hers to see what else is a possibility. Stick to your guns and don't marry her. Better a child than a wife, based on what you're saying to me," he pointed out.
Johnson made sense. It didn't make it any better though. I had changed myself the whole time I had been changing Timmy. I wasn't fully straight anymore. I had a freaking boyfriend at some level. Damn, life was weird. I did not set out to have a boyfriend, only to get some pussy regularly. Building Timmy into what I wanted had changed him and me. He was totally obedient and totally mine. I had a fucking boyfriend, me, Ian McNeil, straight stud to all the women on campus. Crazy. And I might have a baby, fuck me, I was totally out of control of that situation. But I could control Timmy as long as I kept him happy.
Donor entered my room and sat down. "I'm so fucking horny, Zach. Can I please get out of this cage and get off?"
"We've talked about this already a couple times this week, Donor. You do remember the conversations, right?"
"Yes," he said.
"And what did I tell you?"
"You said I need to learn to handle the horniness. You said to focus on other things I can do to relieve the itch."
"And what are those?" I asked.
"I can play with my nipples..."
"My titties. Or I can use the dildo you bought me to fuck my pussy."
"Or I can beg you to help me with your cock."
"So, you do remember. Good. Which are you going to do now, if you're so horny?"
"Please Zach, Sir. Please fuck me, please!"
Donor turned around and pulled his sweats down displaying that fat ass of his. I loved hearing him beg. Frat boy begging for my cock. I wanted Donor to get used to begging for what he needed. I wanted him to adjust to having his needs met by me, his man. I wanted him to focus on his cunt and his tits or even his throat for pleasure. Keeping him locked for a good long while would shape his mind until he no longer thought of his dick as his pleasure center. I knew it must be tough on him initially, but I wanted his mind altered in ways that would be positive for me and for him.
"The cage is so painful," Donor complained turning back around. "Please just fuck me so I can stop thinking about it."
I looked at Donor's dick and balls. Sure enough he was trying to get hard in the cage. Not surprisingly it hurt. He was swelling and parts of his flesh were squeezed between the open spaces in the cage. I smiled thinking about how that must feel. How restricting it must be. Glad I wasn't in one. My dick throbbed to hardness looking at Donor there in front of me.
"It's only painful Donor when you are trying to get hard. We talked about that too."
"I should focus on other things until it stops trying to get hard."
"Right, and you need to focus on those pleasure spots, so you realize how good it feels. Pull your pants up and come here."
He stood up and pulled his sweats back up. He came over and had him sit on my lap. I moved my arms around him and began to play with his nipples. I didn't pinch them yet, I just ran my thumbs and index fingers around them. I could feel them get firm.
"I really love your shaved chest, Donor. You look so much better without all that hair."
I had told him to shave his chest and abs. I didn't want him hairy at all. I wanted him to see hairless when he looked in the mirror. It was a start. We'd move to the legs soon, then other areas. Eventually I'd suggest laser removal, but I needed to go slow with him. If he really thought of himself as a girl in bed I wanted to transition that thinking to the rest of his life and see how well he would take that thinking.
"Thanks," he replied. "It really takes a lot of work. But, if you like it that's cool."
"Oh yeah, I do, baby." I squeezed his tits and massaged them. Lightly running my fingers over his nips. "I like being able to find your nips easier."
"Ooohhh, that feels good."
"Remember to think of stuff to keep your mind off getting hard. The cage is just there to help you not get hard. It's there for your benefit, baby."
I continued to rub on his nipples. Lightly flicking at them then just tickling at them. He moaned a little. I nibbled and licked at his ears or neck as I did it. He was squirming in my lap in no time.
"Fuck. You treat me like a woman, Sir."
"Of course I do baby. That's how it feels when you get treated well. You tell me all the time when you have my cock buried inside you how it makes you feel like a girl. You love that feeling."
I ran my hands down his stomach and into his pants. I didn't bother touching the cage, I went right past it until a hand was under his nuts and a finger was touching his hole.
"Now just focus on other things, Donor. Don't think about your dick or the cage. When it feels good, focus on that part. On your ears, your titties, your neck, your pussy. Think about how good it is. Just relax and let those feelings drive you. If you try to get hard you tell me and I'll help you think of other things," I whispered in his ear.
I rubbed around his hole and then pulled my finger back. I removed my hand and then stuck a finger up to his mouth. He opened immediately and sucked it in. I felt his tongue roll around my finger.
"Good girl. You know what to do," I emphasized. "Get it good and wet."
I pulled my finger out then slid my hand back in his sweats. I ran my moistened finger around his hole again and then slid it inside. He let it in easily. After that fuck from Alonzo, Donor's hole had been nowhere near as tight as before. It slid as deep as it could go and I ran it around inside him.
"Oh god, it feels good."
"That right, just relax. Don't tighten up any. That will help to keep that cage lose, that clit soft. You don't need a hard clit to feel good, baby."
"No, I don't. You seem to know how to make me feel good."
"That's right. I can give you what you need," I told him.
With one hand on his titties and the other working his cunt, I toyed with him as he sat on my lap. I was learning to play with his body while I played with his mind too. I was hard now thinking of how good his pussy would feel wrapping itself around my cock. I knew he could feel my hard cock. I was hoping he would get the hint and beg to suck on it.
"Oh, fuck, why does it feel so good? Mmmmmm, you drive me crazy," he mumbled.
I throbbed in my pants and squeezed my dick so it throbbed against him. I continued to gently rub his nipples and slid another finger inside him. He squirmed around.
"Please, can I suck your cock? Please? I want to feel how hard it is."
"Of course, girl. Slide on down to your knees and get what you need."
Donor slid off my lap on to the ground. He turned and started pulling on my pants until they came off. He left his on as I had told him to do. I also intended to keep his hands busy so that they wouldn't be reaching for his cage.
"I want you to finger yourself as you suck on me Donor. Work a couple fingers inside yourself. Then use your other hand to play with your titties."
He did as I told him. He had one hand down his sweats and the other up his shirt. I watched then decided I wanted my cock in his mouth. I stood up and looked down on him. My cock standing straight out in front. I stepped forward and his mouth opened right away. I placed my hands on the back of his head and drove into his throat before he could stop me. It wasn't an issue of gagging. A couple weeks of sucking and Donor seemed to have lost that reflex. I was happy about that. My hands gripped his head and held him tight in my crotch. He glanced up at me and I smiled.
"Yeah, I like that baby. You're getting so good at that. I love watching you play with yourself as you suck. Think about how hard I am. Think about how soft you are. Remember that feeling," I told him. "Focus on the parts of you that feel good. That clit doesn't feel good so ignore it. It will stop getting hard if you ignore it. It isn't what is going to make you feel good anyway."
I let go of his head and he backed off to breathe.
"Fuck, you're so hard. I love how it feels when its way down inside me."
"Shut up, girl. I know that, so show mw how good it feels for you, put it back in there."
He thrust his head forward and all the way back down on my dick. I could feel him moaning as the vibrations were running through my cock. Fuck he was getting good. Then he pulled back.
"Ugh, my dick is trying to get hard," he told me.
I reached down and pulled his shirt over his head. I grabbed his nipples and gave them a good hard squeeze.
"Focus on your other areas, girl."
"Fuck, that hurts," he squealed. "Okay, okay, I'm focusing on my nipples."
His hands appeared and tried to stop me from playing with those tits. I slapped him once and he looked at me.
"I don't remember telling you to take your fingers out of your pussy, baby. You need to do what I tell you, it's for the best."
He moved his hand back to his ass and slid a couple fingers inside himself. He opened his mouth and waited.
"Is your clitty back to regular size, baby?"
"Yes, Sir. It's back to not hurting."
"Good. See? Those fingers inside your hole feel good. When that locked thing gets hard it will only end in pain, not pleasure. Either I can make it painful, or you make it painful yourself. You need to remember all the time girl, that one way or the other, a small soft clit is better, not painful. Associate the pleasure with your other parts. Associate the pleasure with MY hard cock. I own 2 cocks, baby, mine right here in front of you and mine, the one there that is locked up to keep it safe. You only need one to keep you happy."
Donor moaned at my words and licked his lips. I brought his head back onto my dick and he swallowed it. I continued to play with his nipples and tits. I squeezed them like I had done to the women I had fucked a few times, gently, feeling them, well-thumbing the nipples, and watching Donor's eyes flutter. I knew he was getting pleasure from it all.
"No need to think about anything thing hard except MY cock. You're soft, baby. Soft titties, a warm soft pussy, soft mouth on my hard cock. Mmmmmmm, that feels so good, girl. I love those big soft lips locked on my dick."
After a few minutes of some gentle face fucking I pulled back. I stepped out of my shoes, removed my pants and shirt, then pulled Donor up by the arms. Of course, his fingers came out of his ass, but he moaned as I picked him up off the floor and then directed his a few steps to the bed. I Pulled off his sweats and then pushed him onto the bed. He did as he knew I wanted, he raised his ass in the air and arched that back. I spread those cheeks and looked at that beautiful boy-cunt he had developed.
"Oh, yeah, baby. That's the prettiest pussy I've ever seen. I gotta eat some of that pussy, it looks too good to miss."
Donor moaned as I said it and then when I spit and moved into have lunch, he really let loose.
"Oh yeah, eat my pussy, Sir. Oh god, it feels so good. I love your tongue. Fuck, I can feel you munching down. Oh, fuck it's good."
His mouth ran a mile a minute praising my ass eating. Donor was probably the most enthusiastic about sex of anyone I'd had. He really got into his role and there was no reason not to encourage it in him. If he wanted to be a girl here, I'd make him see a girl when he looked in the mirror. I flipped him over and threw his legs up in the air. I placed his hands on his chest and went back to eating his pussy.
"Ohhhh, god, yes!"
I could see him rubbing his nipples and squeezing his tits like I'd told him to do. Now that he had shaved you could really see how his pecs had turned a bit flabby from his eating habits. Those would change, but he'd keep those tits if I had my way. I wanted to see those bigger. I wanted HIM to see them bigger when he looked in a mirror. Then he'd know for sure if he felt like a girl. Fuck, those crazy ideas kept playing in my head and my dick was bouncing in front of me. I raised up from eating his cunt and stepped forward, slapping it with my cock.
"Oh yeah, give it to me. Fuck me, Sir. Please fuck me. I need it bad. So horny."
I slid in in one long motion. All 8 inches wrapped by that cunt I was creating.
"Oh fuck, girl, you are always so hot. I just love sinking my dick inside you."
I leaned down into Donor and began to suck on his nipples as I fucked. I went slow. I wanted him to enjoy this.
Oh, fuck, why did it feel so good? I should be complaining about getting fucked. I should be demanding he take the cage off my dick, but it felt so damn good, when I got fucked. Like I was meant to get fucked, meant to be his girl. His tongue and teeth on my nipples was driving me crazy. I didn't know what to do with my hands now. I was going to do my best to keep them off my caged dick, so I didn't get slapped or worse. I placed them over my head. I imagined it looked like a woman in a porn film, soft and limp, laying there as a man hammered away with his cock and sucked on her tits. I wanted to think of things not connected to my dick.
"Oh, fuck yeah, that looks so hot girl. You lay there getting plugged. No need to get hard when you're this happy. Just enjoy this. Tell me what you are feeling," he instructed me.
"Oh god, I can feel every inch of your cock. It's so fucking hard, I swear I can feel it throbbing. And your tongue is driving me crazy," I told him.
He was slow dicking me from the start. Long thrusts in and long pulls back out. I reached down and felt his dick moving in and out. I didn't touch my nuts or the cage, but I wanted to feel him entering me, to reassure myself it was indeed a cock and I had an open cunt he was fucking.
"Jeezus, I can't get over how good it feels," I mumbled. "So amazing to feel like this." I shivered and shook a little just thinking about it all.
"That's it baby, let that pleasure wash over you. Let yourself go and just be you. Be that girl."
Oh fuck, it felt like it too. I wondered if girls felt all the things I was feeling as Zach gave me his big dick. He was big enough for me. Not that crazy size of Alonzo. That was scary, but this was orgasmic. As I thought about how I loved cock, I shuddered again as he drove all the way inside. He was moving faster. I went back up to my titties and began rubbing and squeezing them. It did feel good to do that, to get a little more pleasure from my body. Maybe Zach was right. Maybe I didn't need to have a hard dick to get off, to feel amazing like this. His big hard cock might be enough. I really did feel everything in my ass, just like Zach explained too. It was totally amazing for me to never know this stuff before.
"Your toes are curling," Zach said. "Look at that, I think you're working up to a big orgasm."
It sure felt like it inside me. I was getting tingles in my hole, in my feet, in my gut. My nipples were on fire, electric feeling. I rubbed them some more and squeezed my tits. It felt good to do that. To let go and feel my body all alive. I looked at my feet and I hadn't noticed how tight my toes were curled up. I paid attention to what it felt like as Zach had explained how to notice small feelings in my body. Then Zach pulled out. Damn it.
"Come on, let me lie down on the bed. You climb on top and ride me," he explained.
I moved over and when he lay down I climbed on top of him, one leg on either side of his torso. Then I grabbed that fucking beautiful dick and held it in place. I looked at Zach. He had a broad chest, his hands were behind his head. I looked at his arm pits. Why were those so fucking hot? He had made me shave my pits when I shaved my chest, said a girl didn't have hair in her pits. Now it made some sense. His pits were fucking hot looking, dark thick hair sprouting out, all wet from the expended energy of fucking me. Now I was going to have to work.
"Ohhhhhh, shit," I moaned as I slid back onto his pole. "It's like some itch that I'm learning how to scratch. It feels so good when you're inside me."
"That's right, now start fucking yourself on it. Ride my cock, girl."
Every time he called me girl or baby it was like a reinforcement that I was his girl. I didn't feel that way except when I was taking his cock somewhere. The rest of the time I felt like a guy. When I looked in the mirror and saw the same guy I had always been it was cool, but here getting fucked by this total hot stud, I would think of being a girl. It was fucked up, but that's the way my mind worked.
"Ride that cock, bitch. Ride it! Slide up and down. Show me how much you love it," Zach was saying. "Look at that pussy spreading open for my dick. Damn I love this view, baby."
I did my best to ride his dick. My cage bounced around in front of me and I tried to focus on other things. I thought about Zach's cock. I thought about my pussy getting filled up. I tried to think of it as a pussy. I tried to think of my chest as tits. I rubbed my nipples as Zach lay back and watched me.
"So fucking hot!" he told me. "I love watching you in ecstasy, baby. You're so hot."
Fuck, I felt hot too. Felt like I was on top of the world. Zach thought I was hot. No one told me that shit. I could barely get a girl to toss me a fuck most of the time, but Zach loved to fuck me. I could really get into that. As much sex as I wanted, I just needed to be his girl. Fuck, that thought just made me bounce harder on his dick. Zach reached up and pulled me down so that our chests were touching, my head was curled into his neck. It raised his hips up more and then he started really fucking me hard.
"Aawwwwww, yeah. Take that fuck, girl. Feel how deep I can reach inside you."
He slammed hard repeatedly inside me. Holding me tight to him as he fucked me from underneath me.
"So glad I had Alonzo bust open that hole and give me a good cunt to fuck. I like that hole open and ready."
"Oohhhhh, yessssss. Fuck my cunt," I echoed as he just kept humping me deep and hard. "It's always open Sir. I love getting fucked all the time now," I said, and I meant it.
Zach proceeded to fuck like it was going out of style. He hammered me from below then flipped me over and hammered me from behind. His hips just never seemed to slow down. His pace just picked up and kept going. He was totally impressive. Sometimes it was long strokes, all the way out and all the way back in. Other times they were shorter strokes, leaving his cock in me and using quick thrusts back and forth. He was scratching that itch in me.
He smacked my ass and rolled me on my side, Zach slid behind me and jammed his cock back in from behind. In this position, I had nothing to do with my hands, they weren't supporting me, and I wasn't facing him where I could touch him. I'd have to reach around if I wanted to do that. Zach though had easy access to all of me. His hands roamed around my titties and then up to my neck. His hand grasped my neck and he squeezed, then kept it there for 10 or 15 seconds, but then loosened his grip. Fucking hot! He was choking me for a moment. Why was that so hot?!
Finally, we ended up with me back on my back and Zach pounding away. Every time he moved his hands to a new spot across my body it was like electricity. Whether he was gripping my neck, playing his fingers across my nipples, or even smacking my ass, every part of me was alive. I watched him and he had such great concentration. He was paying attention to my body and my reactions. He heard my moans and it made him grin. He watched me writhe as he pounded deep. My toes curled up and he would rub a foot.
At one point I could feel my dick trying to get hard in the cage and Zach saw that too. He smacked my nuts hard and sharp pain went through my brain and my balls.
"Fuck! That hurt," I yelped.
"Stop getting hard!" he ordered.
"Yes, Sir, I'm trying not to do that."
"Good girl, focus on other things."
"I was, but now my nuts hurt," I replied.
So, what did he do? He smacked me across the face and my head snapped to the left.
"Now you can focus there," he told me as he then lightly rubbed my cheek.
That was fucking hot, I thought. I'd never do that to someone, but it was pretty hot that he did it to me. It didn't hurt really, but it did get my attention. It got me back to realizing there was a fine line between pleasure and pain, between what felt really good and what only sometimes felt good. His cock felt really good all the time when it was inside me. Jacking off felt good for a few seconds but getting fucked felt intense all the time it was going on. Fucking a girl never felt this intense, it felt really good for a few seconds, but getting fucked was way more than that. My pussy was on fire right then I realized. So full of Zach's fat dick. Him rubbing that spot, it felt like I would go crazy from that feeling.
"Aawwwww, yeah, girl. I'm gonna cum. Gonna seed you with my load," Zach told me.
"Yesssss, please give it to me. I want that load. Need that load in me," I replied back.
I placed my hands on his ass cheeks and pulled him in each time he thrust forward. He was really hammering, and I wanted it that way. Wanted to feel like I could get all of his seed in there, to get his cock to feel as good as I was feeling when it was inside me.
"Aaawwwww, FUCK. UNNGGH, UUNNGHH. Take it! Drain my nuts, girl. Squeeze it."
I tried to clamp down on his cock when he told me to do it. I swear that was intense as he continued pounding and drilling. It did let me feel his ejaculation. Each time part of his load shot out of his man-cock, I could feel it. His clenching and firing was hot to feel. I swear I could feel his cum spraying my insides. I imagined how it was happening, him firing off spurt after spurt filling me with his load. I moaned loudly, and my hips lifted off the bed to meet his final thrusts. Totally intense. Zach collapsed on top of me. My legs remained pulled up and I wrapped them around Zach as he lay there breathing heavy.
"Fuck, baby, you're such a good fuck. I mean it, your hole is so fucking hot, girl. Look at you blush when I say that. It's true," he rambled on talking about my pussy. "I want to do so many things to you, with you, damn."
"Thanks, Sir. I, uhm, I really like this. I really love the feeling," I admitted.
"I can tell, your dick leaked a puddle," he told me.
He lifted himself up a bit and I raised my head off the bed. Sure enough, my dick had leaked out some cum. I hadn't noticed it at all, serious. It was part of the whole event I guess, the last few moments.
"How does that even happen?" I asked him. "I didn't notice it at all." Zach chuckled.
"It happens because that is your natural reaction to all that pleasure. You barely got hard, baby. It just flowed out when you were in ecstasy. My dick and your pussy make such a great team, it just happens like that."
Maybe I didn't need to be hard to cum. Maybe I did have a pussy. Zach told me to clamp down, he was going to pull out.
"Close tight, baby. Keep my seed in there. Absorb as much as you can, it will help you manage your horniness with the various chemicals in my seed. Definitely make you feel better."
"Come on, baby. We're heading out." I slapped Donor's ass as I walked past him. "Get your clothes on."
"Where are we going?"
"It's time you got that hair of yours cut. I appreciate your attempt at doing the college guy thing, but I want you looking more professional." I explained. "Something different that you can carry off. When did you last get it cut?"
"What? Uh, like back when school started in the fall. I just hadn't bothered again," he replied.
"Look, you need to keep up your appearance for me, Donor. I have certain expectations."
I mean, okay Sir, but nothing I have to do lots of stuff to everyday, and I don't want any fancy cut," he said.
"Yeah, I know, you're a low maintenance girl," I teased, and he blushed.
"People are going to hear you," he said.
"Yeah, probably they will one of these days. I'm okay with that," I told him. "Look, you're my girl in the bedroom. I'm just expanding your horizons outside of that space."
"I'm not sure. I'm not sure I can handle that."
"We'll see. Who's in charge?"
"Uhm, you are," he agreed.
"That's right. So, you just have to trust me."
I managed to get him into the car and we headed for a decent salon I had scheduled an appointment at for him. I had already picked a hair stylist based on some reviews I'd found on Yelp. I was sure the woman would see it my way without too much trouble.
"Where are we going?" he asked.
"Get your hair cut, I already told you."
"But, the barber I go to is back that way," he pointed down a side street.
"Yeah, you don't go there anymore. You go to this great stylist I found online. She is going to give you a great cut."
He rubbed his hands through his hair. It was a standard brown, straight, nothing fancy. I had no plans to change his color, just the style of how it was cut. I had in mind a very unisex cut, like a pixie cut, or an asymmetrical bob style. I wasn't sure his hair was long enough for that though. When he had cut his hair in the past it was always a basic shave, then he just let it go without trimming for a long time. I looked at him while I tried to picture the cut on his head.
"What are you staring at?" he asked.
"Your hair. Trying to figure out what would look good on you."
"A buzz cut."
One thing for Donor, he really tried hard to just be a guy. Nothing fancy, nothing striking, nothing out of the norm for a guy. Yet get him in the bedroom and he was all girl thinking and acting. His whole demeanor was growing on me. I'd switch some things on him. I figured a different look in the mirror would be one of those things to switch. Maybe he would look at himself differently if he saw someone different staring back.
"Donor, what has your current state of grooming done for you lately? How many dates have you had in the last year? How many guys or girls have you been able to pick-up?" I asked.
"Uhmmm, like Jessica and uh, you I guess."
"Let's say you got me because I watched what Jessica did to you and you pissed me off, so I don't count. I also have a feeling Jessica was interested because she knew she could dominate you. Anyone else?"
"No, not really."
"So, would you agree you are willing to try a makeover? Try something else for a while to see if I can get anyone else interested in you?"
"Yeah, I guess. I mean you're in charge Boss, and you'll do what you want. I just hope I don't have to do too much maintaining it."
I got it. No maintenance. I let that slide for now, I thought. I'll just get the short, but more girly pixie style. He'd get used to it soon enough. Was the haircut enough to start or did I want to do other things today too? I glanced over at him again. He still had the hairy legs, should I get them waxed today? Or maybe a nice manicure with clear coat polish? That might throw him over the edge. I parked, and we went into the salon.
"May I help you gentlemen?" a woman at the reception counter asked.
"Yes, we have an appointment with Montana," I told her.
"Right, and you are Mr. Miller?"
"Yes, but the appointment is for my girl here," I told her.
Donor looked at me in horror. The woman just smiled and nodded. "She will be right up to get you, just have a seat," she said and pointed to some cushy chairs.
"Why did you say that?" he whispered.
"I've told you before, baby, I'm going to call you my girl. I'm going to treat you right. I'm not calling you my bitch or my fag, I'm accepting that you feel like a girl when you are with me. I'm good with that, and I'm going to treat you right. That's why we're here today. To get you looking different than the standard frat BOY look you've been carrying off for so long. To get you feeling different about yourself and how you present to the world."
He didn't argue with me, which I appreciated. He just looked at me for a bit then stared off at the salon.
"Wow, this place is huge," he commented. "There's a lot more than hair going on here."
"Yeah, they told me they have a laser hair removal specialist, a couple tanning booths, waxing, an electrologist for that tough to get hair, I forget what else. You may like the place."
"I don't know, Zach, I mean Sir. It seems a little over the top. I've never thought about any of this stuff. I've just always kinda not paid attention to, uhm, grooming."
"And that will change, baby. You want to look good. You never know who is going to take an interest in you. It may surprise you once you do a little grooming who is interested."
"Whoa, I'm so not going to look around for a guy. I'm just going to stick with you for that stuff," he said without looking over at me.
He could say shit and not realize what he had said. It actually made me feel good. The dumb frat boy attitude was cute. It was why I joined one in the first place. Boys oblivious to what they're saying and doing. I just had no idea I'd find one who thought he was a girl in the bedroom. I was boning up thinking of the changes in store for Donor.
"Mr. Miller?" a hot looking woman walking towards us called out.
"That's us," I replied. "Come on, girl, your turn," I said. Donor stood, and I put my hand on her lower back and guided her towards Montana.
"I'm Montana. I am going to be cutting your hair today," she announced. I pushed Donor in the back, so he would know to speak. His mouth was hanging open a little. Clearly, he enjoyed looking at her. She was tall, thin, her hair was cut short in a style pretty much what I had imagined for Donor. She was in jeans and cowboy boots, with a nice blouse open a couple buttons and her tits nicely framed by the cut of the fabric.
"Uhh, I'm Don," he announced as he reached out to shake her hand that she extended.
"Good to meet you. And you must be Mr. Miller," she said extending her hand to me.
"Nice to meet you Montana, just call me Zach."
"Great. Let's go back to my chair and we can get started."
Donor watched her walk away. If I hadn't pushed on his back I wasn't sure if he would have walked or just stood and ogled her ass. I was a little put off by his gawking. We'd need to talk about his behavior. Shit, there was going to be a lot of changes if he was really going to "stick with me for that stuff" I thought.
Montana patted a salon chair for Donor to sit at and then pointed towards a chair nearby where I could sit and watch. I didn't sit right away, as I knew she would be asking questions about what cut Donor wanted. Sure enough once Donor sat, she wrapped him up in a plastic sheet tied at the neck and began the interrogation. She started by running her hands through his hair.
"Well, you do have thick hair," she stated. "And I think it's been hella long since it's been trimmed. What were you thinking of doing with it?" she finally asked after a moment. Donor just looked blankly into the mirror at her reflection.
"What I had in mind," I began, "is to thin it out a bit and give him a short, cute, pixie style. At least that is what I think it's called. Not super short. I like that look where a lock or two come down the side and look sorta like a sideburn on a man. With plenty of bangs that he can flip back or leave hanging."
"Totally," Montana said, "like Scarlett Johansen or Viola Davis. That would look good around his face. I can see that now."
"Okay," was all Donor could manage.
Montana wasted no time in getting him up and over to the wash chair. I let him go off and get the treatment while I sat down to wait it out.
I walked over to the space where I guess people got their hair washed. It was a lot fancier than any place I'd gone to get my hair cut.
"Hop in," she said. "I'll spin you around and we can get started."
Damn she was good looking. I'd let her take me for a spin, I thought and smirked. A lot of good that would do, my dick being locked up and all.
"Cat got your tongue?" she asked.
"Oh, uhm, no, just don't have a lot to say, I guess," I told her.
"Nothing to say about your own haircut? That would be new," she replied.
She hosed my head down and got some shampoo. She lathered her hands then got into my hair. It felt good actually. Never thought about a head rub feeling good like this. I tried to focus on that feeling as Zach said was good to do. Pleasure on other parts of my body.
"Nothing it is," she said
"Oh, uh, sorry. I was thinking of other stuff," I told her.
"Like what?" she kept at it with the questions.
"Uhm, how good that felt," I confessed. She chuckled.
"Your boyfriend doesn't massage your head like that?" I could feel my face heating up.
"Well, it isn't like that. I wouldn't call him my boyfriend."
"No? Huh, I just figured since he set the appointment and he decided the hairstyle, that he might be your boyfriend. Usually a guy doesn't give up a decision about his hair unless it's to a girlfriend... or a boyfriend."
I didn't really say anything. I was pretty sure I blushed again, but I was just kinda blank. I had no comeback.
"You don't need to talk," she continued, "but a lot of folks talk when they're here. It isn't like I know anyone you know or could tell them what you tell me if I did."
I thought about that and she was right. I mean, I had never even seen this place before and there wasn't a line of college kids here to tell things to anyway. Seemed like an older crowd sort of place.
"Yeah, okay," I started. "I get that. "Yeah, so he's making some decisions, thinks I can look different, better than how I usually look. I'm not much into the whole worrying about what I look like. But he wants me to get a new look, one that is different than my current one. More, uhm, feminine," it finally came out.
"Makes sense," she replied.
"It does?" I was surprised she said that.
"Of course. Look at you, you fit the relaxed frat boy look. It's not a look you can work with forever. Boyfriends, not to mention employers, want a little uniqueness or style."
"I'm not really sure he's my boyfriend," I added again.
"Well, I'd call him something if you let him make style changes."
"Yeah, like Sir," I replied without thinking. She laughed at that, so I felt a bit more relaxed.
She rinsed my hair and put on some kind of conditioner, then rinsed it again. The water was just the right temperature. Not sure why I thought about that, but it felt good, not hot or cold. Then she dried my hair off with a big fluffy towel, and we walked back to her work station.
"Now, let's see," she started in. She ran her hands through my hair a bit, moving it over and back and commenting. "It's good and straight mostly, shouldn't be a problem maintaining it once I tame it. I'll cut it like I think it will look best on you. You may need a couple months before it looks fantastic though. I think it needs more length on the top."
"Okay," I said. "If you think it will look good AND be easy to deal with. I don't think I can handle styling gel, or using a dryer or stuff," I confessed.
"I get it, low maintenance. Shouldn't be an issue," she said.
"So, your man, let's call him that since you don't like boyfriend," she said quietly, "he wants to take away some of the hard edges of the frat boy look. He's looking for you to appear more androgynous?"
"Yeah, I guess so, less manly," I admitted. "I really don't know for sure what that means. Just not like I do now, I guess that's too much for what he has in mind."
"I think we can do that. A transformation from "old" you to "new" you," she added with air quotes. "How do you feel about that transformation? Do you WANT to look like he wants?"
I thought a few seconds. "Yeah, I'll give it a try,' I told her. "It isn't like I have anything else going right now. I'm up for him telling me what looks good. Maybe it will look better."
"That man must be good in bed," she observed.
I could feel my face flush. How the hell did she get that? Did everyone who looked at me see that? Did I give off a vibe of being Zach's sex toy?
"You know," she observed again, "you're giving an answer without saying a thing. I get it. You're a lucky guy if he's that good with his skills in bed."
That just made me blush more. It was really warm in this place all of a sudden. I guess she COULD tell who I was inside. Maybe Zach was right. Maybe I just need to face up to what a girl I am all around and go with it. The sex was freaking GREAT. Could I make decisions in life based on how Zach made me feel with his dick? Would I act like his girl to keep that sex going?
"Yeah, it's the best I've ever had," I admitted finally. "Nothin has come close to it. It's totally new, I never been with a guy before Zach and I'm like whoa, it's really freaking great. So, if he wants me to look a little different to be with him, I'm gonna give it a try. Is that freaky or what? I've never done anything like it before."
I heard myself rambling. I glanced over at Zach but he was reading some magazine, not paying attention. I was just confessing how great sex with Zach was to some lady I just met. She confronted me with what seemed to be obvious to her, that I must be enjoying it, and I told her. Sheesh. I may as well keep talking I figured.
"It's not like I can't go back to this look if it doesn't work out. It's not hard to stop cutting my hair or whatever. If he wants to look at a new me, then why not humor him?" I said. "I'm pretty hairy and I already shaved all the hair on my upper body, but that can grow back, right? So, I was thinking of doing my legs, cuz it looks kinda funny now with hairy legs and no hair on my chest and stuff," I continued.
"We can wax your legs today too," Montana mentioned offhand. "Just catch them up with the rest of your body. It will grow back."
"You think? I could go for that I guess. If you think he'll like it. Kinda like a surprise for him."
"Oh yeah, completely cool," she told me. "We'll just go do that after the haircut. I mean, if you're up for that."
"Why not?" I answered. "I can see what it's like."
"How far do you want to go?" she asked then.
I had no idea what she was asking honestly. Stripping my body of all the hair seemed pretty damn far. Was she asking me what else I might do? What else was there to do? Or did she mean something else?
"What d'ya mean?" I asked.
"Well, you said your man wants you looking more feminine, less masculine. He suggested the haircut and losing the body hair. What if he suggests other stuff?"
"I haven't thought about anything else," I admitted. "I mean, what else would he want?"
"I don't know," she replied. "Just figured I'd ask if there was other stuff he might decide he likes later. You know, a little eyeliner, shaping those eyebrows up, getting a manicure and pedicure, a little color on those nails."
Holy shit! I hadn't thought about any of that stuff. I did not want that for sure. I wasn't a real girl. I was a guy for god's sake. It wasn't like I could look like a woman. I'd always looked like a guy.
"Uh, he hasn't said anything about that. You think he wants that?"
"I can't say really," she seemed to back off her suggestions. Maybe she was just asking to see what I wanted. "Sounds like you are just going for a metrosexual look, based on what you are saying. I think we should get your brows fixed too, clean them up a bit. Not a sharp line, but a well-kept male brow, not the wild man looks you currently have going."
"Uhh, okay. I'm not good at keeping that stuff up. You can see I haven't really bothered with my hair."
"Don't worry, honey, that's what I'm here for. Just keep your regular appointments and you'll look great," she encouraged.
"I should ask him what he wants. Just to be sure."
"Good thinking," she agreed. "I'll go grab a cup of coffee, leave you two to talk." She undid the sheet that she had wrapped around me and I went over to discuss it all with Zach.
"Hey, Sir," he said as he sat down. I glanced up from the magazine.
"What's up girl?" I replied. "Not getting your hair cut yet?"
"I need to ask you some stuff."
"Okay. What's going on?"
I was curious. I hadn't seen where Montana had gone. Maybe she'd figured there was no hope in his hair. I smiled at the thought.
"How far are you wanting me to go? I mean, how many changes are you making in how I look. Montana said she can fix my eyebrows and she was talking other stuff too, like manicure and stuff. I don't know about all of this. I'm not a girl. I've never been a girl. Hell, I can't imagine I would even resemble a girl."
I hadn't figured on having this discussion yet, let alone here at a salon, but why not? If he was asking about it, I'd tell him. I loved open communication.
"Donor, you agreed I was going to be your man, the one in charge, that I had full control. I fully intend to change how you look. I have ideas of what the person I am spending time with looks like, and I am also weighing the fact you want to be treated like a girl when we are together. I want to see what's possible. My idea had been to do a little at a time, but if you want to do it all at once, I'm good with that. I own your body and I intend to own your mind too. I want that control, and I will get it. Now or later, either way, I intend to make sure you know who is in charge."
I continued looking directly into his eyes. I saw his hand move to his crotch and adjust his cage.
"I can tell that little talk is causing you some discomfort. Your dick is trying to get hard isn't it?"
"I knew it. You like the idea of me in charge. So, get used to the idea that I am going to change your look. You want me to do it all at once? We do it all at once. I'm sure we can come up with a story about how you lost a bet and have to dress and behave how I want for some period of time."
I moved my hand to the back of his neck and began rubbing it. I wanted to make sure he understood that this was something I wanted, that I intended to do. Plus, I wanted to draw his attention to something besides his dick. Remind him I wanted him to focus on parts not locked up. I ran my fingers around his neck until he gave a shiver. Then I moved my hand down from his neck onto his chest and I flicked at his nipple. He glanced around to see if anyone was watching then I heard a little hiss of air escape his lips.
"Focus on other things instead of your cage. Train your mind to feel excitement and pleasurable things from other areas," I reminded him.
"Yesssss, I'm trying."
"Now, let's talk about this other stuff," I continued. "Since I first got into taking control and opening your world you have talked about how I make you feel like a girl. That what we do together makes you feel like a girl. I want to have you explore that, baby. I want you to see what that is like, to see if you like being the girl when you are with me. I'm not going to scare you or let you get hurt in any way. I'm going to be here with you, like I am right now, making sure you are safe and can explore this space, both inside your head and in the world."
"We're in a hair salon," he whispered. "What if someone sees you touching me?"
"Doesn't bother me at all," I replied. "I'm used to touching men when I am out with them. It's an important part of who I am. I enjoy touching the person I am spending time with like I do with you," I told him.
"It's a little new to me," he admitted. "I don't usually get to do that with anyone."
"I get it. Your time with women was usually in bed and nothing else. You can admit that."
"Yeah, it was." He glanced around again a couple times. Clearly he was nervous. "They didn't really want anything more than the night together. I get that. I was picking them up for that, not to be a regular thing. You are like the first person who like is spending time with me, and it's totally not how I imagined things. I'm letting you be in charge, and obviously I'm doing stuff I hadn't thought about doing really. It's all new."
I smiled. He did think about this stuff. It was sweet. He was growing on me. I was getting under his skin and he was thinking about all of it.
"Right, so focus on those things. Keep your mind off the cage. What we do is exciting, I get that, but focus it on those areas we talked about. I'm touching you on your neck and nipples so that you know they feel good, so you get used to my touch. I'm going to be touching you, here and in the room, in places that will feel good. Let it feel good."
"I'm trying," he said.
"Now, as far as changing your look, I'm doing that for you. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror every day and see what you have been telling me you think about when we are together in my room. I didn't ask you to feel the way you say you are feeling, baby. You were the one who said, I feel like a girl when I was fucking you."
"Fuuuck. I don't even think I'm gay, and I'm getting fucked by a guy. I never imagined letting a guy do that. And yeah it's making me feel so different than I'm used to feeling."
"Donor, you're confusing your sexuality with your gender. Who you are attracted to is a sexuality thing, the act of engaging in sex by societal definition will place a label that society has on you. Right now, you see yourself as a man. You present yourself to the world as a man, so therefore the world will label you as bi, gay, or queer. That doesn't seem correct to you. I hear that when we're together. Two guys together seems strange to you, so I want to push you to see if perhaps your ideas about yourself are a gender issue. Gender is constructed by society to try to fit how a body presents to the world with how you feel internally presenting to the world. It's a tough thing to think about. If you are more comfortable presenting as a girl to the world, perhaps that means you really are a girl, as defined by society, and not a boy, as society defines a boy."
"Fuck me. I don't want to think about any of this. I just want to be me."
"Who are you then Donor? If you like being with me as a man, then I would say you are having issues with accepting your sexuality. You will be labeled bisexual or gay by definition, because you will be seen as a man involved with another man. If you honestly see yourself as a girl when you are with me, then that is an issue of matching your gender presentation up with how you feel inside. I want to push you to explore both of those areas. I'm enjoying being with you for those very reasons."
"I don't know who I am," he admitted.
"And that is why I believe if I have you present yourself differently, then perhaps you will see or feel something that will make some sense to you. My intention was to do it slowly, but if you trust me, then I can do a lot all at once and see what you experience and how you feel about it all. Look, I locked your dick up initially to demonstrate control over you, but now I am keeping it locked so you can learn to focus on other body parts during sex and regular life. Men focus on their dicks typically. Would you prefer to focus on your dick? Do you think about fucking guys? Do you check their asses out and think about fucking them?"
"No! Totally not something I do. Even now after having sex with guys, I don't look at them and think about fucking them, I think about being fucked, about getting some dick. I still can't believe Tim gave me a blow job. I don't see a guy on his knees in front of me as all that attractive."
He chuckled as he said that. I wondered what he was thinking so I just stayed quiet. I wondered if he saw women on their knees in front of him.
"To be honest," Donor continued, "I don't really think of women in front of me either. I like a blow job, but it was strictly a feeling in my dick, not in my head, and some idea that I was doing stuff like all the other guys. I can't believe I'm telling you this here at a public place. When I hang with all the brothers I talk about girls and join in with stuff, but it isn't like I am all that focused on them. I wanted to get off, not develop some relationship."
"And now you seem to be developing a relationship," I added, just to toss that out there for him.
"Yeah, and I don't know what it means. Why am I having sex with you? Why do I think I'm a girl in bed?"
"Uhm I'm just guessing from all the moaning, but it's because you like it," I said gently.
Donor blushed. He was actually pretty cute when he did that. Despite being completely confused he could at least come to the conclusion he enjoyed sex.
"Yeah, he admitted. "It's good, you're good. I know that much. Still doesn't help me feel gay. I still feel like I'm not the whole gay thing, that it's just you."
"Look, I get that you are scared about it. That's to be expected. I'm pushing you beyond your comfort zone. But like I said already, I'm going to be there. I won't let you do anything you can't handle. Are you scared about school? Classes and stuff?"
"Not really," he said. "I don't know those people so much. I might recognize a few in a class but there are always so many in the classes it isn't scary. I mean, yeah, it will be scary to show up to class if I look totally different, but I'm more scared of the brothers. What do they think? What are they going to say about me?"
"Hey, they reacted pretty well to Ian and Timmy. I'm guessing they aren't going to hassle you too much. I am guessing some of those brothers will try to get in your panties to see what you'll do."
"What should I do? I don't think about them that way."
"What do they all have that you don't right now, girl?"
"A dick," he answered immediately. "A hard dick."
"So you do think about dick," I observed.
"Well, in the abstract. I mean, your dick feels so good and I see it as part of everything going on. The brothers would just be a dick. They don't have the same control that I gave you."
"True, and don't forget that baby. I'm the only one who has the control. You can use their dicks to scratch those itches, but I don't want you giving any of that control to anyone else," I told him as I rubbed his neck again.
Montana returned with a coffee for herself and one for Donor even. Sweet. Donor moved to go back to the chair. I stood up also and moved over to her workstation.
"So boys, you make any decisions?"
"Yeah," I responded for us. "I'm good with her getting a full waxing of all the hair not on her head. I'm also good with you fixing those brows. Nothing too thin but clean them up nicely. Then I would like to see some tanning today. We didn't bring a swimsuit though, I'll need to go pick one up at the mall," I told her. At this point, no polish on the nails, but I'm good with a full mani-pedi to prep those nails. Don't cut them short on the hands, leave the length, just shape them up."
"Got it," Montana replied. "It will be a while."
"Yep. I'm going shopping. He'll need a swimsuit to tan in and some other things. I'll take care of that."
I took off for the mall leaving Montana in charge of Donor.