Date: Sat, 17 Aug 2002 13:20:30 -0400 From: Gerald Johnson Subject: Brother's Delight 3 Warnings: This is a story of fictional, graphic, male on male, sex. If it is illegal to view sexual pornography in wherever you are, please do not continue. This story is all about sex with minors of ages' 12-18 and adults. Chapter 3 "I killed my brother. I killed Simon." "No, you didn't. It wasn't your fault! Quite blaming yourself," Dennis said, as he held me in his arms. These words meant nothing to me, I knew it was my fault that Simon got inside of that car, now he's lying in a hospital, in a surgery, and people are telling me that it wasn't my fault? It is my fault. I killed my brother. I killed Simon. I felt nothing, maybe numbness but other than that, nothing. It wasn't cold, it wasn't warm, it just was. "Your wrong, I did cause him to go into the car, Dennis." "What do you mean?" he asked, taking me in closer. He never held me like, never, not once. The ER was barren, surprisingly. I wanted to see Simon but for now he has to be alone. Dumb doctors. My mother was with my father, she was crying and he was signing paper. "Sport? What did you mean you caused him to go in that car?" Now I knew that the situation was bleak. Dennis hasn't called me sport ever since I was 10 and that was only when he was really serious. "I want to tell you but I can't, since Simon's . . . Simon's . . ." I started to cry, for the first time since I entered high school. I pushed closer to Dennis, closer than I've ever been to him. He was warm, comforting to the coldness I possessed. The hands on my lap were shaking uncontrollably and now I know that they're mine. "Shh, Sport. It'll be all right, you don't have to tell me but if you want to, you can wait till Simon wakes up and you have his permission to speak to me, all right?" Running his fingers through me hair, he tried to comfort me, it didn't work, I'm still numb and Simon is still in the ER. I still have the image of his face in my head, full of anger since I rejected him. I haven't seen him that mad, why didn't I just do what he asked? I had reason to right? I didn't want to hurt him, if I did what he asked he would be in pain . . . just like he is in now! Ugh! I feel like I want to scream but air has left my lungs and I'm surrounded by liquid. Not water, blood, I have blood on my hands, my brother's blood. How could I be so stupid?! I should have known that he would take the car! He always wants to get away from everything, always. I wanted to cry, I really did, but the water in my eyes was pulled away as did the air from my lungs. I'm empty, lost. I feel like I'm in drowning in a sea of blood. I'm being pulled by the undertow. I'm sinking and I'm clawing for solid ground. "Gabe, maybe it's time to go home. This is just too . . . hard to do. I mean, I know I haven't been a very good brother to you guys and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I've been so secretive, so-so hard to understand. Please, Gabe . . ." he broke down right then, holding his face in his hands he cried. "Please, just forgive me. I promise I'll tell you why I wasn't close to you guys but for now all I want is forgiveness. I don't know, maybe if I was there with you guys none of this would have happened. Maybe if I told you that it was okay for you to do . . . stuff with him, maybe he wouldn't have taken the car." "What? What did you just say?! Tell me!" How does he know? How the fuck does he know?! Someone tapped my shoulder, it was a nurse, "Well, it seems your brother has finally come out of it, its amazing really, he came out of it so suddenly unlike most of the people here." She was nice and her voice was comforting or maybe just because I knew that Simon was gonna be fine that I found her comforting, either way I'm comforted. Dennis's eyes brightened and looked like he was about to kiss the nurse, as he stood up, "That's great! Can we see him?" "Yeah, go ahead but please refrain from getting him too worked up." She walked away from us to my parents. "All right, thank you," he called back to her. Looking back at me, he said, "Let's go, Gabe." Standing my ground, I clenched my fists, "No. Tell me, how did you know?" I was angry, how dare he?! "You had no right. That was something special between us, you had no right to spy on us." "FYI, Gabe, I didn't spy on Simon and you. Before he went into surgery, he was mumbling what he did with you and how he wished that things were different." I don't know why but my heart softened and the anger fleeted. "And don't give me that bullshit about privacy! I know that you and Simon both have been through my porn collection." This struck me hard, mainly because he was telling the truth, I did go through his pornography but I didn't know that Simon did it too. "Uh, you knew about that?" He looked at me smiling, "Well, the pages were almost tearing and the protein spots gave you away. Why do you think that I there were new ones every other week? I knew you were checking them out so I put new ones as soon as you stole some of them so that you could sell them to your friends. Hell, they were just playboys and I guess that nothing could go wrong with you jacking off and making money, by the way, you still owe me half for suppling you the products." I smiled for the first time in the past . . . hours. I couldn't tell the time when I was in the dark time. "Gee, Dennis, if I knew you already knew I wouldn't have taken it. I mean . . . I had no right or anything . . ." "Oh, shut the fuck up! You got to get over the fact that you have to be so polite and everything! Jeez! Take the stick out and give it a rest! Anyway, I was just kidding about you paying me back." "Oh, sorry. Dennis, why are you talking this way?" "What do you mean?" he asked sitting back down. "I mean, why are you acting like we're buddies? I don't mean to sound rude, but you've never done that before. You've always been distant and now that you know that Simon and I do stuff together you seem to be friendlier. Tell me one thing, are you gay, yourself?" Giving me an uncomfortable smile whilst rubbing his head, he said, "Actually I knew when I was younger that I was attracted to the same sex, so, yes, I'm bi. That's what Simon said he was, too, he said he was bi. Funny isn't it. He still doesn't want to admit he actually thinks you're hot. Come to think of it, you are very hot." This annoyed me. I hated it whenever people tell me I'm hot, or cute, or just simply handsome. To me it's a major turn off, "Ugh, don't do that too. I have, like, half the class doing that right now, and my little brother, and now my older one, too?" People started to turn around and look at us, luckily none that we knew. This was quiet a crowded place and we clearly had no room for privacy, so the only alternative? Simon's room. Taking Dennis by the wrist, I brought him to Simon's room, carefully not to hurt him. I talked to him while we were walking, "Dennis, how do you feel about me and Simon?" "It doesn't matter to me, what matters is how you feel for each other." "What do you feel Simon and me being gay?" "You forget that Simon and I are bi, so you're the old man out. I am okay with it." Walking quickly into Room 314, I shut the door behind me. Our eyes adjusted to the bright white that seemed to be everywhere, from the curtains, to the lilies that were from my parents. Simon was in that bed with the curtain opened. An IV was stuck into his left hand, his right arm was in a cast, but other than that he seemed to be fine. As we got in, Simon seemed to lose the smile on his face. He was still miffed at me for telling him, no. I guess I would have, too. I noticed that my hands were still locked on Dennis's, so I let him go and continued on to Simon's side. Dennis stayed where he was, I'm guessing he knew that this was a thing between us. As I got to Simon, he turned his head away from me and faced the wall, "I don't want to talk to you right now, could you leave me? I want to speak to Dennis." This hurt me, hard. My heart was wrenching and I long to touch him. Taking in a deep breath through my nose and clenching my fists, I walked toward the door. As I reached Dennis, I closed my eyes shut for a few seconds before I left the room entirely. Simon was still hurt, emotionally, and I was the cause of this. I hated it. I hated myself! Why couldn't I do what he wanted me to? Maybe, because I didn't want to do it unless he really wanted to do it. I mean, I put those thoughts in his head. I'm the one who said that I wanted to paint him. I'm the one who first asked him to take his pants off. I'm that caused this whole mess. Dennis's POV This was weird, I haven't seen Simon so mad since that time I accidently dropped his blanky in the blender. The poor guy, those grinders can really hurt a 12-year old's subconscious. The look on Gabe's face really was of anger and sadness. As we went over to me, he paused, then left. I longed to comfort him but I can't. What's up with Simon? He hasn't shown any anger before, always kept to himself but now he tells everyone know what he wants. What happened to the shy little brother that I had? "Dennis? Is he mad?" he asked not bothering to look straight at me. His voice was shaky, unsure of himself. That's my younger brother. That's the one I love, not that cold, aggressive person. Maybe that's why Gabe didn't want to do anything more with him. He was afraid of what he might do to Simon and what Simon would do to him, hurt him and not be his brother anymore. My brothers are actually growing up. It's a scary thought. "Dennis, did you hear me? Is Gabe mad at me?" I think Gabe is pissed, but not at Simon. He's mad at himself. This is not a job I'm used to. Simon and I are usually the ones that fight, not the ones we confide with. Now I know hot it feels to be the moderator. "Shh, don't talk. Are you comfortable? How's your arm?" "Its numb but other than that, I'm okay. Now, answer my question, is Gabe mad at me?" "Let's just say, you better not get in his way for now." "Why is he pissed? I'm the one that got in the accident, I should be the one that's mad." Ugh, teens are so clueless! "Simon, Gabe isn't mad that you got in the accident. He's mad because you pushed him away when he tried to talk to you. In case you didn't notice, he feels that he made you take the car, and in a way, it is." Simon didn't look at me but just dropped his head, "Dennis, I think I told you something that I shouldn't have on the way over here. I was wondering, did I say anything that I shouldn't have?" His voice was, again, shaky. He knew that I already knew, but he didn't want to believe it. "Simon, yes, you did say something. You told me what happened between you and Gabe. Don't say anything," he looked like he was about to interrupt, "I have nothing against it. In fact, I'm just like you, I am bi. Ever wonder why I wasn't in your life? I was confused. I didn't know what was wrong with me and I'm guessing that this is how you feel too?" Simon hesitated, "Like a mutant? A freak of nature? Yeah, I feel that way and I don't want to. I can't be bi. Its not natural." "I agree that when you first find out that your different all you want is to go back but you got to except your fate. Your gay, Simon, its time that you knew." Gabe's POV The crash was . . . devastating but Simon's fine now. It has been two weeks since the crash and Simon is still not speaking to me. Our parents wonder why we don't talk, look, or even sit next to each other anymore. This is hurting me, the one person that I wanted and now he's gone. Why did I have to be so stupid? Why didn't I just do as he said so that he wouldn't have left? Why didn't I . . . just . . . hold him? Simon sustained minor injuries. A broken arm and mild concussion. Now he's back home and he still is avoiding me. The last time I tried to talk to him he shut the door on my face. Doesn't he know what much I hurt right now? God, am I the most selfish person on earth? He gets into a car crash and all I think about is me. This is too hard. I can't wait for him to talk to me anymore. I have to do something before I go crazy. The family was out, my father and mother are at work and Dennis is out somewhere with his friend, Hal. Simon was up in his room while I was just outside his door. He's stayed like this ever since he came home. Nothing seems to cheer him up and everything seems to bring him down. I want to comfort him, but he pulls away. This time, he's not getting away. Knocking on the door, ever so softly, I called out, "Simon, can I come in?" No answer, the shuffling of feet made it clear that he was walking to the door or he was hiding something. When he opened the door, and I saw his face, he said curtly, "What do you want? I have homework to do, so if you don't mind I don't want to be disturbed." His face was flushed and he was sweating. God, do I do this to him, can I make him this mad? "Simon, I'm sorry. I don't know what else you want me to do or say. Just tell me what's wrong. Damn it, if I haven't asked you to do that with me, you never would have gotten in that accident and we wouldn't be in this predicament. Simon, just talk to me, just tell me what's wrong," I repeated. I felt the tears reach my eyes and I knew sooner or later, I couldn't hold them back. "Gabe," he said for the first time (he's only called me `you' the past two weeks), "leave me alone for a while. I don't have anything to say to you. It seems like you want forgiveness, I gave you that, but if you want anything else, you can't get anything." He was about to turn and shut the door when I took his had and hold him tightly. "Let go." Taking him gently by the face, I brought him out to a kiss. It was like I found a piece of me I lost. He returned the kiss, swapping his tongue for mine. When I broke this kiss, I told him, "Now, are you gonna let me in or what?" Again, he was in a trance. Just staring at me with a black expression, he moved out of the way and let me in. As I entered, he was watching me the whole time. I guess it was time. Simon followed me watching only my eyes, so intently. "Sit next to me," I ordered. Again, he followed and for the first time he listened not just heard. His eyes had lost their innocent light and what was left was a flame of lust. It doesn't seem that he hates me anymore. That, I'm extremely glad for. Once he got near me, he sat down so politely and looked at me, with a blank expression. Then he leaned in for a kiss. I wanted to move because this was wrong. What we have, it's just wrong. I know that, I'm not totally stupid. I know what it's not right, I can only dream about it, not actually do anything. But moving would have made him ashamed again and maybe he might leave again so I just let it happen. Again, when his lips touched mine, a surging power came through me and engulfed me into sensitivity. He moved his hand toward my shoulder and when he touched me, it sent another shock, like an orgasm but smaller, a mini orgasm. Simon shut his eyes and just went into the kiss. I closed mine and melted into it. I was starting to get into the act, grabbing his face and gently massaging his blonde hair. All guilt washed away along with his saliva down my throat. My hands were shaking and I felt a drop of sweat dribbling down my face and down to his. His mouth tasted so much different than before. Last time his mouth was less hot and more serious. This time it was so hot and wet. Simon was tasting every single bit of my mouth with his tongue. I was just too busy telling myself that I didn't want this and I just did this because I need him to like me again. It didn't work. His hands left my body and grabbed my shirt roughly and pushed me away with a exaggerated smacking sound. "Wow!" he took a deep breath, "Damn." My lips were still tingling. I couldn't help it, I went in for another kiss. This time it was less passionate and more casual, just repeating pecks. I was now really hot, so I took off my shirt. I laid down on his bed which was pretty much wet and hot, "Simon, what the fuck is wrong with your bed? Did you piss yourself?" "Actually, you caught me at a bad time. I was jacking off and with this cast I can't really do anything. I tried it with my left but then I needed lube, I tried it with saliva since I couldn't get your lube from your room. I was still mad at you. Well, as you can see, the spit went everywhere." I smiled and pulled him down next to me, resting his head on my arm. His hand was stretched out on my chest. "You should've asked for help, I could have lent a hand or a mouth." My face was stuck with an eternal grin. Man, am I happy. I have my brother back. Yay for me! "Fine," he sat up. "Gabe, would you suck off your little brother?" Raising my eyebrow to him, I rolled my eyes and pushed him on his back again, roughly. "You have to see the things I do when we do . . . what we do. You're only 14-years-old and I'm already 18. According to everyone you're illegal to me. I'm sorry but do you know what would happen if someone finds out about what I did to you? I'll be sent away! You'll have to get psychiatric help and Mom and Dad would probably be labeled as the freaks of our town!" "Wait! Can I say something first? First of all, I'm not gonna say anything. Second of all, you didn't DO anything to me. I want you as much as you want me. I know you want me and I'm quite sure that you yearn for this as much as I do!" "What the hell did I do to you?" I asked him. "What do you mean?" "I've changed you. What happened to the shy, sweet little brother that I used to have? When did you grow up and be so forceful?" "I've always been like this . . . around you. I've wanted you ever since we were younger." Simon started to trace the crevices in my abdomen. His touch was giving me pleasurable sensations that my lower half could not help but respond. My dick started to stir and rise. Breathing started to become a problem. Just a touch can make me hot and horny. I want to surrender but I can't! It's one thing to fantasize about him but to actually do something about it, is considered perverted. "I saw you when you went through puberty and your metamorphosis. Some nights I just spent laying down right where you are and thinking about you. What your doing and what are you dreaming of." "So when you get shy around me, that's just an act?" "No! Being shy around you is something I don't plan. Whenever you get near me I want to reach out and touch you but I'm afraid that if I do, then you'll pull away. Like you did that night." "How can I make that up to you," I asked? He got a devilish grin on his face, "Well, there's only one thing I want. As you know, my right hand is in a cast and my trusty left hand isn't that trusty anymore." "See? Where did my shy brother go?" "If you want him he's in my pants right now. So what do you say?" "Wait, there are ground rules if we really want to do this." "Well, hurry up because I'm just too horny!" Getting up to lock the door, I said, "Rule one, you always lock your door." "I knew that." Forcing my way through my thoughts that yelled, `Don't you do it! You'll regret it. You know someday it's gonna bite you in the ass,' I went over to the bed. I have to admit that right now all I wanted was to be inside his shorts, too. His body is so beautiful. All the way up from those golden spikes and down to his amazing calves. "Second, you can never mention anything to anyone, not even Matt." Matt's Simon's friend from school. "Third, I need you to be careful around the parents. We can't have you or me slipping that we've been having sex. And last, whenever you want sex, you have to ask for it. I'm not joking. You have to go to me if you want sex. I'm not gonna go up to you in the middle of the night asking if I can have a suck job." Smiling, he said, "Gabe, can I have a blow job?" I gave him a grin and then nodded. Pulling off his shirt, I started to trace the tiny, blond hairs on his chest. Grabbing his belt buckle, I undid it and his zipper with it. I slipped my hand in his boxers and I knew that the wetness there was not caused only by spittle. Simon looked at me and had a dreamy look on his face. He's so submissive. That's not what I want. I don't want shy Simon I want the Simon that has the guts to do it. "You could do something other than just lay down there." "Like what?" he asked. Hmm. I guess, I'm gonna have to teach him a lesson. "Never mind." I moved down to face his crotch. Tucking my hands in his pants and boxers, I pushed them down. His porker popped out and struck me on the nose. A string of sweet pre-juice left it's mark on my face. I was right that the damp underwear was caused by precum. His scent wafted through the room and made me even hotter. It wasn't musk, it was just Simon. I love the way he smells. I knew that he was in `pain' from being this unsatisfied for so long, so I dove down and took his dick in my mouth. That feeling came back, the feeling you have when you have a dick in your mouth. I don't know, I can't even describe how it is. The closest I can get it is that you'd never know how it feels to have something so hard and so soft--at the same time--in your mouth. He had a hair trigger and shot in my mouth in less than a few minutes. Once again, cum flew in my mouth and I was granted another forbidden taste of his fruit. The first one hit that gland in your throat that hangs at the roof of my mouth and dripped down into stomach. That one was the biggest and the rest, maybe two or three squirts seeped out of his cock with the help of my tongue. Swallowing, I rested next to him on his bed. He was tired and I knew he didn't want to talk. I stayed away from him until he moved in close and started to cuddle with me, "Cuddle?" Smiling and kissing his forehead, I said, "Sure. Come closer." Simon moved and every part of him was touching me. He moved into me, his back facing my front, and I reached over and held him. We stayed in that position for a long time, maybe ten minutes, and then I started to talk, breaking the silence. "Do you forgive me for giving you that?" I asked, tapping on his cast. It was a black cast, with markings on it that were barely visible. I could make out an anarchy symbol, mehndi-like markings, and a girl's name. "Everything," he explained, "I forgive you for everything." I sighed and said, "That's good. So, we're good, now?" "Yes, we're good." "Hey, who's Andrea?" Snorting, he said, "Some chick from school, who apparently looks hot, so says my friends. In fact when she signed my cast--she was the first--all the guys were so jealous. I don't know, she's cool but I don't really like her." I knew what he was getting at, "Who DO you like?" "Matt," he said snickering. With my left arm, I took hold of his dick, squeezing it slightly--not to hard to actually hurt--and said, "Who do you like?" "Mark!" he yelled. I pushed his dick and balls inside his body. Moving in, to whisper in his ear, I said, "WHO do you like?" "You! You, you, you!" "That's better." Leaning in for a kiss, his lips met mine. We made out for about ten minutes before i pulled away and said, "So, little brother has a thing for his friend." I was taunting him with Matt. Simon blushed, "Okay, I admit it. The only reason I ever wanted to know him was because he is hot as hell! Those brown eyes of his. The way he acts." "Hmm, I never figured that you'd like him. I mean, he is cute--I'll give you that--but I don't see what you see in him." "You don't have to be jealous. I like you more than I like him. Yeah, I want to get into his pants but I don't think I could love him like I love you." The sentiment was touching, and I felt the same way, of course. "Still, I want to know what you like about him." "His eyes. They're so piercing and they see right through you. Too bad, he's not at least bit gay. If he was I'd love to have him." Simon turned around and his eyes had a starry look within them. He really does like Matt. I tried to reassure him that if Matt ever had any thought of what Simon wanted, then Simon will succeed, "Brother, I know you can get him, if he is gay." Then I had an epiphany, "Wait a minute, why is it that he never comes here anymore? I would've thought that he would." "Oh, I don't know. Lately, he's been very distant . . . to everyone. At lunch he mostly sits at the window--we eat lunch at the gazebo with the open windows--staring out into space. He's been really quiet. When he signed my cast, the anarchy sign, he didn't say anything but just signed it because I was his friend, I guess. I don't know, it never occurred to me until now. I'll ask him over later on to see what's up." "That's guy is in the junior, right?" It seemed to me bizarre that a junior would hang out with a freshman. Me, being a senior, I don't hang out with anyone--with the exception of Simon--under my grade. "Yeah. Enough about him. What about you? I think you can tell that I'm gay, what about you?" "I don't know. Right now, I don't want to choose but if I had to, I'd choose gay. But I do see myself finding a family." Simon looked at me funny and for some reason he seemed sad. Again, epiphany. "Oh, you'll always be a special love that no one will ever surpass. You're my first true love." "How do you know what you have is love?" Simon asked. "How do you know what YOU have is love?" I countered. Simon got it and backed off, "Okay. I get it. You're bi. But I'm not. I'm gay. I do want a family but I don't know how it will work out. Dad will be pissed." "And Mom will send you to one of those institutions that use electric shocks to take the `devil' out of you. Do you have to come out?" "I don't know. I think so, when people finally realize that being gay isn't wrong. But right now, I just want to be with you." His voice softened and his breathing slowed. I knew that he was asleep. I smiled, and snuggled closer to him and went to sleep, amazingly both fulfilled and unsatisfied. Go figure.