Date: Mon, 1 Feb 2010 09:49:14 -0500 From: J K Subject: Funny Things Happen Part 3 Funny things happen, Pt 3 Comments welcome at imawriter123@gmail.com But even knowing all of that, and as much as it would kill me to lose him, I was getting so frustrated living in a life that I didn't want to, I was afraid that my stresses were going to come out and in the wrong way. So I finally had made my decision that, I was going to stay here and continue my degree, and if she didn't want to or had other plans, then it was going to be divorce. While I wanted full custody of Josh, I figured I'd have better luck asking for joint custody-and hopefully there wouldn't be any issues with the courts or her parents-(not that they had been any bit helpful in the past 4 years, if we ever needed anything it was always my parents.) The night that I decided that we were going to have this conversation I was tucking josh in just like we've done every other night for the past 4 years, and as I leaned over to kiss him on the cheek, he pulled me down by my shirt and said, "Daddy, I have a secret to tell you" And I looked at him strangely since he had never said anything like that, nor did I even think that something like that could be processed at 4 years old, but he was a brilliant boy. So I asked him what it was. And his next statement ripped my heart out, "Daddy, I love you and promise me you'll always be here." Four years old and it was if this kid was reading my mind. Like he knew what I was going to do, or what was going to happen. It took every ounce of energy that I had not to burst out into tears right there, but I held them back, and leaned over and kissed him again and said, "Josh I promise you, I'm not going anywhere I'll always be with you." He looked back at me with the most beautiful smile and his mother's eyes and said "Thanks daddy! Love you!" I nodded my head, said good night and walked out of his room shutting the light, and went straight to my bedroom and fell to my knees and burst out crying. Once again just like they had 4 years ago my plans were altered again. How could I even think to take the chance of losing this child? I just couldn't. I loved that child so much, he really was my life -- not one other thing mattered but him. I promised myself that I was going to be the best father that I possibly could to him. And I was going to hold true to that, whether I was miserable or not, that didn't matter, he was my number 1 priority and that was it. I was just going to have to deal with my marriage and whatever came along with it, and if that means following Christine wherever she goes, then so be it. After composing myself, and wiping my eyes dry, I walked down the hallway to the kitchen where Christine was cleaning up the kitchen after dinner and without even looking at her I sat down at the table and said, "Chris we need to talk." She turned and, and looked at me really with a face of indifference, which quite honestly did not bother me in the least because I more or less felt the exact same way, if not less than that, and said, "Yea I know, it's time to figure out where it is we go from here." And I just nodded my head. She stared at me, and I stared back, we were both waiting for the other to speak first and I finally decided that I was going to say what I had to and just get this over with already. "Chris, look I know, that you didn't get into Perdue for your master's program and I did, and I really want to stay here and do it. And I want to ask you to stay here too, even if you have to go to a community college just for the first year and then apply for Perdue again. And I know it's selfish to ask that of you, but you know how I feel that this family should be and that Josh should have both his parents together." I really had no idea what her response to that was going to be, could be anything but I said what I had to. She just looked at me and responded, "Well David, somehow I am certainly not surprised by that request, and like you I already have my own proposed plan of action, and I'm going to make the same request to you, however it involves leaving Indiana. I applied to Miami again, and was accepted, and that's where I intend to go to. And yes I know your next question, what about Josh? Well, we've got 2 choices, either you and he come with me, or we go to court get the divorce and see who wins. Your choice." She really was a vindictive bitch, I never realized how much until today. And if I even thought for a second that she was joking I'd call her on it. But I knew she wasn't. I was once again a pawn and caught in this again. She knew that I would do anything for Josh, and I would, without question. It was never discussed between she and I, just an unspoken but the knowledge was there. But regardless, once again the fate was sealed, we were staying married and going to Miami. I looked directly back at her, I could see the little smile on her face, she already knew she had won, she knew she would before the discussion began, and truthfully I knew it too. I had promised that boy that I would never leave him, and I was going to hold true to that promise, no matter how miserable I was. I finally said to her, "Fine, you win, we'll go to Miami, and I guess I'll get in there too and just work it out from there." What else could I say? After sitting there in silence, I just got up, told her I was going for a walk and would be back later. I walked out the front door and just stood in the open air, and started to cry once again. This woman completely ruled my life and all because I was fucking horny and wanted to lose my virginity on my birthday. But none of that mattered at this point, that was over and done with almost 5 years already. I just walked forward away from the complex that we were living in, down the street and just walked in circles around block after block, saying what do I do, what do I do, and yet that was a stupid question because it had already been answered. I had a vicious woman that ruled one part of my life, and a beautiful boy who I loved more than myself that ruled the other part, and thinking of him made smile, as it did every other time. And I realized once again, that I did not matter, he deserved every part of a real family, a father, mother, safe home, and everything else that came along with it. I finally just turned around and walked back home. For what seemed to be like the blink of an eye, Christine and I both graduated from Perdue and were preparing for our move down to Miami. It really wasn't hard to pick everything up to move, actually come to think of it, Josh had more stuff than either of us did. Really at this point the hardest thing for the three of us, was having to say good bye to our parents, and josh was leaving with no grandparents, and also his babysitters -- which was going to be a problem for us, but we'd figure it out somehow. We finally got ourselves all set up down there, I will admit one good thing about being down here, the weather was a hell of a lot more comfortable all year round! As time passed, Josh was growing up faster and faster, watching my son go from a beautiful baby boy, to a handsome boy. Before I knew it, he was already 10 years old, it was unbelievable six years had already gone by since we moved down here. Hell, somehow Christine and I had been married 10 years already, I just could not believe it. Granted I don't really know if you could call it a marriage, more like a friendship that happened to be closer than most, we lived and slept in the same place and bed, talked and interacted like good very caring friends but that was it. It never went any further than that. I was sleeping with other men on a regular basis and I'm sure that she was too. But was important for Josh was that we stay together. However, it was once again October 19th, it was josh's 15th birthday. By this point he was a beautiful young man. Smart, witty, with a smile and eyes that could melt you in seconds. Before, going out to party with his friends, we sat around the dinner table waiting for Josh to blow out his candles, just like he had done for the past 15 years, and as he was making his wishes, I too was staring right at him and making my own wishes for him as he was looking down at his cake, and for a second he looked up at me connected with my eyes and then smiled and blew out his candles. He hugged his mother and said thanks and then came over to me hugged me and kissed me on the cheek just like had every single year for his entire life (I had always wondered when that was going to stop, I mean he was a teenager already, I know I certainly wasn't kissing my father at this point) and whispered in my ear, "I love you dad, I always have and I always will, no matter what. Just remember that."