From: kennyb@rumford.agate.net (  Cannon)
Subject: GOING MALE Adult Incest M/M
Date: Wed, 06 Nov 1996 04:12:36 GMT
Organization: Agate Internet Services (AIS)

	I guess I always knew, or have suspected for 5 or 6 years now
at least, that my nephew might be into guys. At first I blew it off as
a young man's curiosity, you know, measuring himself up to other guys,
but it seemed to increase over the past few years, and I mean to the
point where he should have been over the 'experimental stage,' and to
the point where I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Always
considered myself straight, and for the most part,still do, but he's
thrown me for a fucking loop, and and at my age (43), taking a 'loop,'
is something that I never would have imagined that I'd take again.
It's been over 25 years since I've fucked around with another man,
(not that it hasn't crossed my mind on occassion, it has from time to
time,) but I never really considered that it may happen again. On the
few occasions when I do have  the privacy to 'indulge' in some
mastabatory fantasies involving another guy,(I've been married for 19
years now, all three kids still at home, two daughters, ages 17 & 12,
as well as a son who's almost 16), I've always felt compelled to add a
female into the scenario to make it seem 'more right.' I've become
aware that my 'focus' during these jack off sessions has centered more
on the male than the female.
	I know that when I really started noticing these changes, that
it was when I was approaching my 41st birthday. I tried to pass it off
as a somewhat mid-life crisis, and that what I was actually thinking
about, when I'd picture these guys in my head, naked and hard, was
that it was me, and what they were feeling, that intense feeling of
making someone else feel good, and as well as the feeling that they
were feeling.... dirty, getting raunchy, ready to bust a nut etc....,
that's what I missed, most of all, that feeling that a young guy feels
when he's having sex, whether alone or with someone else, when you're
younger, sex and getting off was just that, sex and getting off,
nothing more, and certainly nothing less. I've always heard that young
men experimenting with each other was normal, but I am one of those
men that never did as a youngster. When I was 17, I did have an
experience with another guy, albeit we were both extremely drunk and
stoned, it is something that I have never forgotten. Don't get me
wrong, I like pussy. Hell, I love pussy, always have, but since that
experience when I was 17, I have from time to time, (especially
lately), thought about it, and figured that as long as I didn't act on
it, that I wasn't hurting anybody, and actually, has even made me feel
more sexual towards the old lady. That's until now. My brother's son,
Ricky, ended up in bed with me (sort of), and has made me feel
incredibly sexy again, and that my friends is why I am writing about
this shit.
	I'm happily married, but my nephew is now showing me things
that I couldn't or wouldn't even allow myself to think about, and
although I still feel somewhat guilty about it, the past few weeks
have left me walking around with a constant hardon, and it seems that
alot more 'straight'  guys, or whom I've always considerd were
'straight,' are showing some interest in me, and what's  keeping me
hard lately, is the fact that I know some of them have been having
'same sex' fantasies, whether about or including me, or not.