Date: Wed, 3 May 2017 13:28:44 -0400 From: Orson Cadell Subject: In God's Love Chapter 1 In God's Love This is a fictional role-play between two unrelated, 40+ adults pretending to be a father and adult (17yo) son. If that is in any way illegal for who or where you are, please leave immediately. The characters are solely the creation of the authors. All rights reserved jointly by the two authors. Do not repost or reproduce this work, in whole or in part, without express consent of the authors who can be reached at bradborris45@yahoo.com and orson.cadell@gmail.com. Please donate to Nifty today at donate.nifty.org/donate.html. Brad and Orson met by reading Nifty stories; this work would not exist (and you certainly would never read it) if it were not for Nifty donations. Chapter 1: Beginnings ***** Dear Brad, I would prefer to have this conversation I person. I will still be at this isolated mission for a while, however, and the news from your mother needs to be dealt with *immediately*. As I'm sure you know, the magazine she found came as quite a shock and she is very upset. First, please tell me that this was a one-time thing and that you got this from someone at school who is not part of my congregation. I would be horrified to learn that you habitually look at such filth, or that you actually purchased something so disgusting. Second, I want to reiterate our discussions from the last few years, including the one last month. You are becoming a man, son, and with that comes greater challenges. Please swear to me that you have not given in to temptation and touched yourself in inappropriate ways. It is both dangerous and unholy. Write back immediately with the answers to the following: >> Who did you get the filthy magazine from? >> What exactly about *that* magazine made you want to keep it after you saw how filthy it was? >> Have you committed the sin of self-abuse, and how often? Respond *immediately* and with absolute honesty. You know that I can tell when you lie to me, and will be extremely disappointed if you try on this critical issue. In God's Love, -Pastor Orson (Dad) ***** Dad, First of all I'm so sorry you have to deal with this while you're doing missions. I didn't mean for things to get to this point, and I certainly never intended mom to know anything about it. As far as she's concerned she thinks its a one time curiousity that a friend from school gave me and I looked at for a few second and then decided to throw away. It's very hard for me to have the courage, to speak honestly about this but I respect you and will do as you ask. If I am willing to be honesty with you, I am Begging that you be open minded and not shut me out. Also please don't tell anyone Especially mom. I promise to tell you Everything if we can keep it between us. Please don't be angry over this. Here are some of the facts and answers to your questions: -this is not an isolated incident as far as viewing pornograpy. I've done it lots of time. - I was introduced first to it, by a Deacon in the church two years ago - the stuff I am viewing has changed and, is now mainly man on man porn (please don't kill me) -dad, you won't like this but honestly I have been pleasuring myself since puberty two or three years ago. Usually daily sometimes, more than that. I know its wrong but its helped me in some ways. You know I'm a straight A student and have never given you and mom a minutes problem. This is partly why. It s helped me cope. Please don't be angry with me. Your loving son, Brad ***** Dear Brad, It saddens me to think that you have hidden this from me, and even more that you would think I could ever be angry over your sins. I am deeply, mortally disappointed, but never angry. You should know that I don't work like that. I will save that discussion for a later date; you are forgiven, of course, but this will not be forgotten. No young man wants his mother to know much of anything, especially this particular kind of self-abuse. I expect your mortification at her reaction is more than enough punishment to last a lifetime, so I won't harp on that. This is not about punishment; it is about giving my son, who is also a priceless member of my congregation, the help he needs. And, of course, I would never tell others, and most certainly NOT your mother. She could never understand what it means to become a man and face our unique challenges. The fact that Deacon Kelly introduced you to this (I assume it was he) infuriates me as he promised, PROMISED that he had reformed. I will deal with that issue separately. It is not your fault, son, that his weakness led you to your own. That you did not come to me with this immediately, though, is unacceptable. From this moment forward, ANYTHING of a sexual nature, whether thought or deed, comes to me *immediately and without delay*. Do you understand me, son? You *will* reform that behavior and stop hiding from or lying to me. The problem is not the type of pornography (though I'm shocked to the core to find that you like... that type of thing), but the inescapable temptation that pornography brings. For a boy your age, it is like lighting a fuse that has inevitable and explosive consequences. I need you to be honest, no matter how embarrassing you consider it. You are right, you are an exemplary son. I need to understand why a sin like this is something you find needful. You say that self-abuse has helped you 'cope'. I want to know what you feel that drives this need, this behavior. Tell me specifically what it makes you feel and why those physical, emotional and spiritual feelings help you to 'cope'. Also, and again you must be unflinchingly honest, what do you 'see' when you commit these acts. Lastly, I must ask a terrible question that I fear, if the answer is no, may even then drive you into further sin. Do NOT take this to mean any more than the words ask. When Deacon Kelly 'introduced' you to pornography, did that man 'introduce' you to anything else? This would be his sin, not yours, but I need to know. Stay Strong in the Lord's Embrace, -Dad ***** Oh Dad, I wish none of this was exposed but in away I am glad because I admire you so greatly, though I know we are not close in many ways. I am aware that I must be a great disappointment to you and so many. I am trying hard in many areas. This area of "self-abuse" as you call it is one area I have been able to make my own decisions and control, to do what feels good to me. I was sworn to secrecy over the issue of who the deacon is but, you guessed right. I had no idea of any history. He and I have been close for that few years that you have been traveling a lot. Please don't blame him. I am really one that pursued it. It may not make any sense but, I was looking for a masculine manly man to pay attention to me and teach me things when I so confused and so lost. I went looking for it not Mr. Kelley looking for me, I swear. I know that will make absolutely no sense to you but, that's how it happened. It started out innocent enough with him just showing me some magazines and videos when I asked. As far as what happened after, I don't have the courage to tell you the details yet but there was much more that has happened. I'm not sure why except it is the most peace and pleasure I feel when everything else around me is enormous pressure and tension. It has been an outlet that I look forward to daily (sex and masturbation). Honestly Dad, it makes me feel amazing and powerful. It is physically the best feeling I have ever had and lasts for a long time. I could go on and on but I don't want to freak you out. Please help me and please forgive me. Ask me any question and I will respond. I love you ***** Brad, Oh my poor, poor child. What you said makes a lot of sense, son, and what I'm about to say might not to you: This is my fault. If I'd been there for you, Deacon Kelley could never have lured you that way. And don't mistake my meaning; you truly believe that you pressured him, but he was the spider and you the fly. That he can convince you that the villainy is yours and not his is the final proof that he is in the clutches of the Devil. And it's all my fault. Every boy, every young man, needs a man in his life and it was my job to be that man, that masculine influence. I'll be home soon, son, and you'll have what you need from me, I swear. I love you Brad, more than anything other than the Lord God himself. I understand the peace and the power, the surge of need and the ecstasy of need fulfilled, the unbearable tension and the indescribable feeling of such pressure relieved. Truth told, I've never understood why the Lord God made such pleasure a sin, especially in the privacy of a boy's room. But a man taking such liberties with, well, not a child but not yet an adult? He has done a horrible thing, my son. *Fight* the need to go to that man, Brad, *fight* it with every prayerful fiber of your soul. If you need to pleasure yourself, do so when you can take the pressure no longer. But promise me that you will try to hold against his temptations until I return. I am arranging a weekend back at the congregation as soon as possible, and we will find a way past your needs then. If it comes to it, well, never mind. We will discuss what I can do for you when we are together. For now, I need to know, in detail, what happened when he first touched you down there. Replay it for me son, so I can better help you heal when I return. Take me through it son, every touch and every emotion. Telling me will help you heal. For all their faults and failures, the Catholic cultists understand the power of confession. Be brave, Brad. Be brave and tell me everything. One last note: I will *always* forgive you, son, and always do everything I can to help you as well. You are my jewel, Brad. If I have to sacrifice my own standards to help my son, it is no price at all compared to the reward of seeing you grow into a healthy Christian man. Pray, Brad, pray for guidance and strength until I can be there for you. With Christian Brotherhood and True Love, -Dad ***** Dearest Father, My mind is swirling in a thousand different ways. I am heartbroken to think that you would blame yourself or Deacon Kelly. The fault is all mine, I promise. I am the sinner, the instigator, fallen, broken, so sexually charged that I can't contain myself. Because you asked I am going to be painfully honest and disclosing: Here goes. God, forgive me. I have wanted intense nasty sex with an older man as long as I can remember. This is not something that you did or didn't do. I have always thought this way even as a youngster. I loved stealing peeks at Uncle Tony we he'd sleep in my room in only his underwear or even naked with me when he'd came to visit mom. I remember being 5 years old and having a longing for something "dirty" from the older men at church. For so many years I would dream about 5-6 of the hairiest and most masculine among them taking me into the basement and using me in intense sexual ways long before Deacon Kelly showed me anyting. They were all 45 and older. I of course couldn't sort all this out and hearing so many of your sermons on sin and holiness I knew something was inherently broken with me and that I needed to hide. I managed to do ok until hitting puberty three years ago at 14. I don't even know if you knew I was a late bloomer as we never talked about these things. When I did fill out and grow hair and had my first wet cum session, it was like a switch got flipped and I knew I could never go back. I would chose to not go back. So I began looking for away to explore with a hairy man. That's when I noticed Deacon Kelly. I struck up conversations with him and we became pals. I was drawn to him from the start but here is the hardest thing to say and admit. Everytime we were "together" i could only picture you as the man who was teaching me about the pleasures of sex. Yes Mr Kelly and I have had sex over the last three years hundreds of times. That's how intense this has been. Of course his wife and kids have no idea. It's been very secret and carefull. Since we have a clear focus on discipleship and mentorship, we have easily pulled off that he is discipling me and having Bible studies. Well, in a way that's true. It has taken a spiritual tone. The thing i am most afraid to tell you is the amount to times we have consecrated our relationship before God and the great cloud of witnesses as he calls it, at the church it's self. Again that was my doing, he was refused at first. I made him go to the basement with me and fulfill those longings, I had many years ago. We have moved to many different locations over times including the altar, podium, baptismal, bathrooms, and your office desk many times because I mad him. I did the later almost as a feeling of you "watching" and it made it all that more incredibly intense causing the sex to last for a couple of hours and multiple ejaculations. My first time with Deacon Kelly was at his house when his family was gone and he showed me a video that I made him put on his laptop. I told him that I had to taste his penis (I can't bring myself to say the other words in front of you). He absolutely resisted and said it was wrong but I began rubbing his crotch and it was as though Lust Himself came over us and that was all it took. We were hooked. I locked my lips onto his and we never looked back. Though I must add, he has tried to end it many times but I knew too many tricks to get him to change his mind. I know I am a Brad person, a bad Christian, but deep down I know I need this from a real man or even men. I don't know why but I do. Please don't hate me Dad! Lovingly yours Bradley ***** My Darling Brad, You are not a bad person. You are not a bad Christian. You are a wonderful, precious son of mine and of Christ Our Lord. The torment in your words is clear and painful. This cannot wait. I will be there at 4:15 tomorrow afternoon, son; it's the first flight out of Tegucigalpa I can get. DO NOT torment yourself. DO NOT tell me it's your fault. DO NOT think for one minute that you have done ANYTHING wrong. I know what my sermons said, but those sermons were for the congregation and you are my SON. There is nothing here to forgive other than my own blindness and your choice to keep your pain and need secret from me. Pick me up by yourself. Don't tell anyone I am coming. Tell your mother that you will be staying at Orson's house; his father will confirm if she calls (don't ask me why). United 1541, arriving IAH, terminal E around 4:15. Find a place to park your truck on Level 3, the orange area. I'll come straight from the gate and find you and the truck. I will not be checking a bag. I feared the story you told me, but I knew. I have heard the same story thrice before. Always Deacon Kelly plays the innocent, trusting the lust he has slowly built in a boy -- in you -- over the years. The subtle touches, the secret glances, the innuendo disguised as innocence. All to the objective of getting you to "tempt" him, trusting your anguish, guilt and grief to keep his own terrible secret. He has played you, Brad, has played us both for fools. And he has stolen not only your innocence, but your purity of spirit with his insidious use of your goodness and guilt. I demanded honesty and your deepest secrets; I cannot play the hypocrite and not be equally honest in return. Yes, son, I had already thought of the similarities between Deacon Kelly's looks and my own, and I was praying... I don't know what I was praying. That you, such a beautiful young man, would want to be with battered old man who looks like me is astonishing, but painfully gratifying. I may burn in hell for these thoughts, son, but I will hide them no longer. I say no more now, but swear to me, SWEAR, Brad, that you will not be around that man before I get there. Dad is coming for you, son, and we will heal together. With Love and Begging Forgiveness, -Dad ***** Daddy, First of all I feel like I'm losing my mind or in some kind of dream state. Are you seriously coming just for me tomorrow? Please don't leave what your doing for me; I don't mean to be a problem. It can wait until you're home next. The people there and the ministry need you. I can't pull you from Gods work because of my waywardness. Secondly, are you saying what I think you are saying? That you're not repulsed by me and that you don't condemn me? That you are actually, I don't know, intrigued or flattered? I don't understood. I'm so confused. This has been my greatest secret dream for all these years but NEVER would I have believed that something could actually take place sexually between us. What are you saying and why are you coming home? Please help me understand. I love you dearly ***** My Dearest Son, First, I have asked you to swear that you will not be in contact with Deacon Kelly before I arrive. You have not done so! I will not be here to get your response, but I expect, I *demand*, that you consent to this and stay away from that man until we are together. I will be devastated and crushed if you defy me in this thing, Brad. My eyes filled with tears, my precious Bradley, when you again called me Daddy. I cannot tell you the joy that gives me. That... that is for another time. I love you more than you could ever know. You are not losing your mind, but we may be sharing a dream state. I am absolutely NOT "coming *just* for you." There can never be a *just* you, my son. I am coming for *US*, Brad. I am coming for my greatest treasure, to share with him and allow us to heal each other. The ministry is fine, son. We have a strong team. I shouldn't say this, but it's boring, hot, sweaty and I can't imagine why the Lord God saw fit to pack it so full of bugs. I am long overdue for 'home-time'. Part of the reason I feel such guilt is that I chose the skip the precious time I could have spent with you in exchange for the mundane chores of this and other missions. They don't need me right now, Brad, but by God we need each other. I could never condemn you, Brad, not for so insignificant of a failure, and one that is far more my fault than yours. I am flattered, son, beyond your understanding. I am, God help me, more than simply intrigued. Whether, um, anything (my mind cannot think those thoughts right now) might happen between us is not for this discussion. I must be with you, and talk through everything with you, and pray for guidance with you at my side. We will, TOGETHER, decide what will happen next. I am leaving the mission as I hit send, my precious and irreplaceable son. I will not again have mail until the wheel touch down in Houston. Pray for me, Brad, and for us. And *do not* see that man! In Eternal Love, -Daddy, -Your Daddy, -The Person Whose Love Can Never Fade ***** Daddy my love, I am hoping you get this at the airport before you leave. Mr Kelley and I were supposed to meet tonight for a 3 hour session at the church but I have cancelled with him. I give you my word I will not see him again until we talk in person! With all my heart, Bradley ***** [SMS] Landed. Thx for cancelling Deacon. Will txt when in pkng grage. Love you, son. Daddy [SMS] Can't C U. Where R U? [SMS] nm. C truck. There in a minute More coming soon. bradborris45@yahoo.com - Brad Borris, author orson.cadell@gmail.com - Bear Pup, author