Date: Mon, 19 Feb 2001 02:54:27 -0500 From: Ritch Christopher Subject: GayMale/Incest/just-beyond-that-hill-9 All rights reserved. Copyright held by the author. If you are underage or are offended by Gay fiction, containing graphic sex and explicit language, please exit now. <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> The stress of planning Mrs. Williams funeral and helping Ed with the arrangements wasn't half as difficult as making the decision that I had to leave. I knew, with the way Ed felt about me, I could easily get trapped and spend a long time there from knowing how much ne needed me. It wouldn't be fair to him living under false pretenses. And if wouldn't be fair to me giving up a part of my life. I could never love him the way I had Hal or the way I loved Eddie. The longer my stay, the harder it would be to say goodbye.,,and I HAD to say it...soon. Counting the two of us and Bryan and Forrest, there wasn't more than twelve people at the funeral. No choir...no singer...just a piano player trying to chords to match the melody to "The Old Rugged Cross" and "My Latest Sun is Sinking Fast." I kept thinking it would have been better just to have the preacher say a few words over her at the graveside...But know, there's something about the southern Baptists, if you don't have a church funeral, you just might not get to heaven...that must've been part of the detour. Ed was all bubbly and tearful. He knew he was alone now, and had to grow up real fast and accept the responsibility of being the head of the household...what household?..His family was all dead now...No one left...except me...he thought. And he didn't know it yet that my days there were numbered. I drove him home from the cemetary. As we turned down the long sandy road leading to his house he asked me to stop the car. He asked me to get out. "See all that land out there. Judd?...That's where they say the oil is. If we can hit one...just one...we'd have enough to live on. If we found a bunch of 'em, we'd be millionaires...can you imagine that?" "That's too far reachin' for me to fathom, Ed. I've never had $600 of my own at one time." "This is all ours, now...yours and mine, Judd." "No, Ed, I can't be included in your wealth." "Whaddya mean." "They're YOUR dreams, Ed, not mine." "Yeah, but if we hit it big, you'd have enough to make ANY dream cone true." "I'm not in a quest for money, Ed. I use to sit on my front porch in Tennessee and wonder what lay just beyond that hill, across the furrow. I got in my truck and headed west to see where the sun set, beyond that hill. And when I stand here, I see the sun sets even farther than that field full of YOUR dreams." "What ARE your dreams. Judd?" "I don't know...if I could have one wish...I would wish that Eddie, back home, and I could run off and live somewhere happily ever after." "You just can't shake your feelings for him can you...even though I made a fool of myself by falling in love with you myself?" "No we always reach for what we can't have...right now, I can't have Ed...and right now, you can't have me." "But if I could...I would spend every waking day trying to make you happy." "I know you would, Ed." "But that still wouldn't be enough for you would it?" "I'm afraid not." "Can you see any future with him? Do you think he would leave your sister and their new baby to run off with you in the sunset?" "At the moment...no." "Then stay on with me and see how things work out...who knows, you might even get to liking me more," "It would be easy to like you...it would even be easy to love you...if there weren't somebody else." "How soon do you want to leave?" "I was thinking about... in the morning." "Where to?" "Out west...just out west." "Would it be asking too much if we could sleep together tonight...for just one last time?" "I suppose...but don't try any funny stuff to convince me to stay, 'cause my mind's made up." "Come on, let's get back to the house and eat some of them covered dishes Mrs. Sawyer brought over. I think there's some potato salad, some baked beans and a fried chicken." "Sounds good." I don't know if Ed was trying to seduce me romantically, but he turned the radio on to his favorite station. We didn't talk much during the meal, we let Eddie Arnold, Patsy Cline and Jim Reeves do the talking for us. Once or twice I saw tears forming in his eyes. I couldn't decide it was because of the music, his mother's funeral, my leaving, or a combination of all three. I was determined not to be influenced into changing my plan. I thought that some day when I might be at the poor farm, I could think back on when I turned down the chance of becoming a millionaire oil man. Well, I never had had any money...and if you've never had something, you won't miss it if it's gone. After supper, while I was washing the dishes, I kept pondering if I should return to Tennessee and force Eddie into choosing between me and the his "family". Even though I was secure of his love...I was afraid of losing that battle, What if he had changed his mind and chose Marie and little Hal over me? I would be crushed and probably head my truck out west again, so I might as well continue in the direction I was headed. Ed had already undressed any was lying on top of the patch worked quilts. I reached for the lightbulb and he stopped me. "Don't...don't turn out the light...just yet...I want you to undress first. I want to see you naked in full light. That's the way I want to remember you as I lay on this bed and jerk off every night thinking about you." I had undressed in front of him many times. But this time was different. It had meaning for him...and I felt self-conscious and blushed all over as I began to remove my clothing piece by piece. When I had taken off my shorts, once again, I reached for the lightbulb switch. "No, Judd, just stand there a moment will you?...Spread your legs and put your fists on your hips." "Like this?" "Yeah,,,now suck your breath in and make your chest bigger." "Like this?" "That's it...now push your hips forward just a bit." "Like this?" "Yeah." "Now what?" "Now reach down and grab hold of your dick and get it hard for me." "Ed, you're embarrassing me." "I'm not trying to...this is my last night with you...let me fill my memory bank." "OK." "Good, that's it...good and hard...now take your balls in your other hand," "OK." "That's it...now jerk yourself off a little for me, will you?" "Yeah." "Oh man, that looks so good...Don't stop...just keep on doing it. I wanna see you cum...will you do that for me." "Yes...I will." "Judd, you are so beautiful to look at that way." "Now I know you're kidding me." "No I'm not...You don't know what you do to me. I can cum without even touching myself, just watching you get off...I'm not joking...I love you, Judd." "You wanna hand me a wash rag? I'm about ready to shoot." "No, I want you to shoot all over your shorts." I reached down to the floor and found my white briefs only moments before I began to ejaculate. I filled the pouch with warm white cream and wiped myself clean. "Now, one more thing..." "What?" "Take that dry spot in your shorts and wipe each of your armpits. I want the smell of your sweat and semen on the same cloth," This would seem perverted to me, if I hadn't figured out his reasoning. I was making him a souvenir...some part of me that I would leave behind that would belong to him. I guess I owed him that much. I did as he asked. "Now, take those shorts and fold them tightly and put them in my top bureau drawer." "Now what?" "Nothing...I'm satisfied...I have something to remember you by." I guess I was feeling guilty for leaving him, after all, and I placed his treasure in its safe place...turned the light switch...walked over to the bed...lay down beside him...put my arms around him and held him until he slept soundly. I kissed his forehead as I sneaked out of bed and dressed. I had already packed my duds, so it would be a quick and quiet exit. I cranked the starter on my truck and headed back out the old dirt road. When I came to the crossroads, I turned left and once again I was pointing westwardly. I didn't look back, not once. <><><><><><><><><><><><><> It took nearly two days to cross Texas. Every time I entered a new town, I would stop for gasoline and get out of my truck and just look. Was this it, yet? Nope, not yet I didn't know what I was looking for, I just knew that when I finally found it, I would know. Texas was certainly not "it". As I entered New Mexico, I had a different feeling. I was no longer in the south. I saw mountains, yes, but I saw them while standing by a cactus. The only cacti I had ever seen was in a flower pot back at old Mrs. LaFerry's house and they were only about 10 inches tall. These in N.M. were ten feet tall. It was a pretty state with wide plains and blue mountains in the distance and the most beautiful sunset I had ever seen. The people were friendly, in spite of not having the good old southern charm. But I knew "this wasn't it, either". Arizona was very much like New Mexico. It must have been my imagination, but the temperature seemed warmer. I had travelled this far and by looking at the map I could keep going until I ran out of road on the western coast of California. After that, if I hadn't found "it" I would have to change directions and go north or south, but then after all the scary stories I had heard about Mexico, I was pretty sure I would not be going south, As I was leaving Arizona, crossing the California border,I saw two guys, one older than the other, hitching a ride. It was hot and I knew it must've been hotter for them standing out on an open highway. They looked harmless enough, so I pulled over and asked them where they were going. "We're trying to get to Los Angeles", said the older one,"are you going that far?" "Well, I don't quite know. I could take you as far as I'm going I guess," was my reply,..:Get in. Put you stuff in the back of the truck." At least I would have company as I crossed that desert at Indio. "My name is Judd." "I'm Jose and this is my son, Paolo, but he'd rather be called Paul." A chill went up my spine. Had I picked up two Mexicans? They didn't look like it. I just thought they had dark tans from travelling on the hot sunny roads. The next thought hit me...what if they were "wetbacks" that I had been warned of? They would probably knock me in the head and find the remainder of my $500 and steal my truck. If I could make it to the next town, maybe I could stop for fuel and call the local police and have them arrested. Arrested? Arrested for what? They hadn't done anything to me yet. There was no law about being Mexican and they hadn't robbed me. I would just keep my guard up and pray that nothing happened to me until I knew I was safe. "You guys been on the road long?" "We've been hitching rides since El Paso, Texas. My mother, Paul's grandmother is sick in Los Angeles and we're trying to get there to see her." "You live in El Paso?" "Si, along the Rio Grande." I knew it!...They had swum the river!...They were really truly "wetbacks".I was really truly scared now...for my life. Jesus! Why did I have to stop and pick them up. I was just inviting death...or worse. What's worse than death?...Being tortured before you die...That's worse. Would they slit me with knives or tie me down and let the hot desert sun burn me to death? Ed's offer sounded better than ever. I had given up the opportunity of becoming an oil tycoon only to victimize myself into becoming prey for two illegal fugitives. I must keep the conversation friendly and not let on like I noticed they were Mexican and maybe I could live longer. Judd, have you gone stark raving mad in this heat? You're making all this up in your mind. Who knows? Maybe you had met two nice "wetbacks". "Where are you headed, Judd?" "I'm going to...uh...San Diego...I got a job out there." I said, lying through my teeth. "I've be offered a position with the police force there. I was a leatherneck in the Marine Corps and wanted a job where I could still be tough." What the fuck was I saying? If they thought I was a rough and tough Gyrine, they might make things worse for me...before they robbed and killed me." "What kind of work do you do in El Paso, Jose?" "I work as a gardener at the mission there. My wife cooks for the padres and my son, Paul, here, wants to be a priest." "You wanna be a priest, Paul?" "All my life...they said when I was born...the second the doctor slapped my bottom, the church bells begin to ring,,,so my mama thought it was a sign from God and I was destined go live my life for Him...and I'm gonna be a priest." I relaxed a bit. Either they were telling the truth or it was an awfully good story. "Are you a catholic, Judd?" Paul asked, "No, I was raised by my momma as southern Baptist," "Is that different from other Baptists?" "I don't know...I've never thought about it...but maybe southern Baptists are different." "Did you fight overseas when you were a Marine?" "Yeah, I was in Korea...and this sniper saw me when I was out on patrol and shot me...in...in the leg and they said it was too serious for them to treat over there and they sent me back home to Tennessee for an operation to get the bullet out...and then I got well...and the Marines said I had done enough and it was OK if I didn't want to go back...so I stayed home and read about this job...in San Diego...wanting policemen...and that;s where I'm headed." I had lied many times before. but this whopper was the biggest one I had ever told. It could've been made into a movie. I only hoped I had told it convincingly. "Look, it's getting dark. You guys want me to stop at the next diner and eat some supper?" "That would be nice, but we have some food in our packs in the truck bed," "Would you mind if I stopped for something?" "No, no, Judd,,,you go ahead...just pretend we're not here." I saw a restaurant just up ahead and pulled in one of the parking slots. "You sure you don't want to come in and get something to eat?" "No, we'll be fine." Jose said as he and Paul got out of the cab and reached for their belongings in the back of my truck. I wanted to be sure they had no ulterior motives, so I took my time entering the diner, while watching them over my shoulder. I didn't want them to steal my truck and leave me on foot in the middle of an unfamiliar desert. Once inside, I peered through the glass door. I saw Jose take a partial loaf of uncut bread and tear a piece off, handing it to Paul. He took a chunk for himself and opened the lid off a big Mason jar which looked like it contained plain water. Bread and water? Was this all they had to eat? I wouldn't be able to eat one bite knowing that they were outside, hungry. No southerner can stand to see anyone go hungry...no matter who they were. I came back toward them standing beside my truck. "Is that what you call dinner...bread and water?" "That's what we like, Judd." "Bullshit. You guys can't live on that...especially a growing boy, like Paul." "I'm afraid that's all we can afford, Judd," "Well, why don't we go down the road and find a little grocery store and I will buy something for all of us...I can feed three people for the price of some restaurant dinner." "That would be nice...but don't feel like you have to." "Get back in the truck and let's go find a store." Not far down the road, we stopped and bought some grub...hot dogs, some hamburger meat, a lb of American cheese, pork and beans, potato chips, a jar of relish, a raw onion, mustard, bread, and cokes. "Why don't we pull off the road way out there and build a fire?" Paul gathered some sticks and sagebrush and soon we had a small bonfire going, I had an old WWII metal army plate which we used as a skillet to fry hamburgers and we used sticks to cook the hotdogs. Before long we had sated our appetites and our faces were red from the heat and glow of the fire. "Y'all ready to travel or do you want to rest awhile?" "We just might ought to rest. It's a long ways crossing that desert, and at night, if you have car trouble, it might be morning before we got any help." What Jose said, made sense, although I still didn't feel safe spending the night in the middle of nowhere with two Mexican strangers. But, hell, they hadn't made any move to harm me, so if I slept with one eye open, I might be safe enough. I was going to sleep in the cab with the doors locked in case I had to make a quick getaway. Jose and Paul had the choice of sleeping on the ground near the fire or they could sleep in the truck bed. They opted for the truck for fear of nightly intruders that might rattle or growl. In there gear they each had a serape which they unrolled and used as a mattress. I stretched out on the seat as best I could. Paul lay on his side and Jose nestled up next to him, cradling his body close to his for warmth. The desert can get just as cold at night as it is hot during the day. They pulled the old tarp I use to protect the bay over them.I fell asleep and I don't know what time it was, somewhere around 2:00AM, but I awake as I felt the truck shaking a bit. I peered through the small rear view window to see the cause and I got a surprise. The tarp, concealing the two bodies, was moving in a rapid motion, as if a mountain lion or a bear had joined them under there. I heard some "oh's" and moans and groans and thought they were being attacked of eaten. I had a long flashlight in the glove compartment and I got it to use as a weapon. I quietly opened my door and tiptoed toward the back of the truck. The moans were becoming louder. I grabbed one corner of the tarp and in a quick jerk I waved it in the air and uncovered the source of the commotion. Jose and Paul both had their pants down to their knees and Jose had inserted his cock in his son's ass and was fucking him, while Paul moaned in agony and delight, "Oh God, I'm sorry." I muttered in embarrassment. "We're sorry too, amigo." replied Jose. This was another one of those times I would like to be able to just disappear, There were no words to say...from any of us. "My son and I were just trying to keep warm." "I see." "There's nothing wrong with what we are doing. I can assure you that, amigo. We are son and father and we love each other." "Yeah, but most sons and fathers don't display it in such a fashion. You are fucking him." "It's an old Mexican thing the desert patrol use to do, when they were cold out on maneuvers in the Mexican desert." No wonder they lost the war! They didn't want to leave camp long enough to go fight. "There is plenty of room if you care to join us." "No, that's quite all right." "I will even let you snuggle up with Paul...I can get in front of him. You can even fuck him if you like. I want him to get all the sex he can have before he enters the priesthood, You could help him. He's never known what it feels like to have a gringo cock up his ass. It would be fun for him...and you would enjoy it too, amigo...and you would be a whole lot warmer." "I don't think so." "Then would you let him suck your cock, senor?" "Why don't you let Paul speak for himself?" "Paul...say something to Judd." "Judd, I would like to do something with you. You are very pretty and I would like to see if a white man tastes differently from my dad or my brothers." This had to be some sort of a dream or nightmare. I couldn't possibly be awake and see and hear the things I was seeing and hearing. I felt like I ought to get back in the cab, wake up again, and see if all this was happening, I just couldn't believe all this. Then again, maybe it WAS happening. They wanted me to put my dick in Paul's mouth so that he could bite it off and then, they could rob me and steal my truck, I must admit the offer was tempting. Paul was very nice looking with his olive skin, dark hair, and brown eyes. And he did say that he wanted ME. I wouldn't have to do anything to him... that is,if he didn't chomp on my johnson. "I think I would just rather watch...not get involved." "But, Judd, we are not putting on a show. We are just trying to comfort ourselves in the cold." I would be lying if I didn't admit that the idea was intriguing and that the naked Paul was very attractive from his waist to his knees, from what I could see. But I thought I would pass. I still didn't trust them. I turned and went back to the cab and crunched down once more, trying to give myself more leg room. I wanted to look around and peek, It's not every day you get a sex show up close in the back of your own truck, especially with YOU not participating. I took them for their word and tried to make myself believe that their actions were all part of self-preservation against the elements. The truck continued to shake for about another half hour. Then silence. I raised my head just enough to see out the rear window and the fucking had stopped. Jose was now going down on his son. What was he doing now...trying to warm his insides? I watched as both of them got into it. Paul was on his back and Jose cowered over him, The son was thrusting himself into his father's mouth with such force, that I felt myself becoming aroused. I had never ever seen a pornographic movie...and now I was seeing the real thing. This was making me more and more horny, so I thought with their preoccupation with each other, they wouldn't even notice if gave myself some relief. Paul and I must have been on the same wave length, because we ejaculated at the same time. I found an old grease rag under the seat and cleaned myself. I had relaxed myself and wanted to get some sleep. I peered one last time at the truck bed, only to see Paul trying to get a cup of warm milk from his dad's single utter. Was this a Mexican family custom. I vowed to find out some day...maybe the next time I looked in the Bradley County Library's encyclopedia. By 7:00AM we were loaded and ready to pursue our journey. Not one word was spoken among the three of us about last night's events. While I stopped to fill the gas tank. I went inside and bought three coffees and some stale pink and white snowballs, all marshmallowy covered with coconut, As we headed toward Barstow, the rising sun became hotter, as we crossed the desert. I was glad I ha checked the radiator. To overheat in this heat would have been disastrous. From the billboards on the highway, you would have sworn that the Los Angeles city limits reached all the way to Barstow, for it seemed we had driven for hours and the still hadn't reached the main heart of the city. God it was big...so spread out...and those tall buildings ten and twelve stories high. As their destination was coming to an end. I wondered if I had been foolish in not trusting them. They still had made no move to rob or harm me. Maybe I could have or should have crawled into their warming nest last night. When I looked over the past week I had climbed new heights to my maturity. I had refused oil wells and blow jobs inside of four days. I was either growing up or going crazy. "Where can I drop y'all off?" "My mother's at the Cedars Hospital...we want to go there." I stopped at the next traffic light and asked the policeman for directions. In 30 minutes we were there. They thanked me and got their gear from the back and asked if I had a place to stay tonight, that with the mother/grandmother being in the hospital, there was no one staying in her house and there was plenty room for me.I wrote down the address and phone number before we said our goodbyes, just in case. I had other ideas though. Ideas that caused my stomach to jump with excitement. About a mile back I had seen a sign at the intersection point to the ocean. I had never seen an ocean, and here was my chance to see the biggest in all the world. I went over a bridge and travelled a few more blocks and then I saw it...the mighty Pacific. The waves were pounding on the beach, but now half as much as my heart was pounding in my chest. I drove my truck onto the sand and parked about 30 feet from the crashing surf. I went to the back and rambled in my suitcase looking for that pair of maroon shorts with the elastic waistband momma had made me. I took off my jeans, leaving my briefs on, and hastily donned my makeshift bathing suit. I had to put my feet in the ocean. As the first wave rushed forward and ebbed back, I could feel the sand dwindling away under my feel. It tickled. I waded out until the water was above my knees. The next wave came crashing and I turned my back as the water splashed as high as my neck and shoulders. It was cold, but oh, so refreshing, I began bobbing my body up and down, feeling myself floating in the salty tide. The ponds in Tennessee, nor the creeks in Arkansas could compare with this. I kept bouncing with the flow until I feet no longer touched the ground, The water seemed to be carrying me farther and farther out to sea, and I wasn't able to swim back. I suddenly started to panic as the next wave went over my head and pulled me downward. It was then I realized I was drowning. All my life I had heard that a person's life flashes before them as they are about to go under for the last time. It was true...I saw Momma and Dad, Hal, Marie, Eddie...oh my God, no! I would never see my Eddie again. He would never know how I died. My body would float up somewhere in China or some island in the South Pacific. I tried to hold my breath, since there was no air to breathe. Did I have time to pray...and ask forgiveness for all the sins I had committed? Was the Almighty finally getting his revenge and having the last laugh on me? If God was God, then he knew I was sorry. Would I be with Hal in the next few minutes...on the other side? The other side of what? I could look up with the salt water burning my eyes and see the light from the sun trying to beam through the top of the water. I was getting dizzy and everything was getting darker from lack of oxygen. I was dying and had no way to stop. Then everything went black. I couldn't think any longer. I was dead. When I regained consciousness. I was lying on the beach. The sand was hot, burning the skin on my back. I felt a hand stroking my forehead and fingers running through me hair. I tried to open my eyes but the sun was too bright. I managed to open my lids just enough to see a shadowy figure kneeling over me. A voice was shouting at me. "Hey!...Hey!..." I was able to blink a couple of times just enough to make out the face of an angel. This angel had a blonde crewcut and blue eyes. His chest was naked. I saw no wings. He was wearing a red bathing suit and no shoes. Heaven was surely a strange place. "Hey...are you all right?" "What?" I uttered. "Are you all right?" "Yeah,,,sure...I don't know...where am I?" "You're on the beach...You swam out too far and the undertow must've dragged you under." "You mean I'm not dead?" "Not unless I am too...What's your name." "Judd." "Where you from?" "Tennessee?" "Do you have friends or relatives out here, that I can call?" "No...I don't know anyone...just a couple of hitchhikers I picked up along the way." "Is there some place you are staying?" "No...I'd only been in town about an hour before I decided to go wading in the ocean." "First time?" "First time, everything...who are you?" "My name is Chad...I'm a lifeguard. I was just about to come on duty when I saw you way out there before you went under." "I guess I owe you my thanks...for saving my life." "Not necessary...I'm just glad I saw you when I did. Otherwise, we might not be having this conversation." "I'll be forever grateful." "What are you plans?...Do you have anywhere to stay." "No,,,I have this address but...no, I have no place to stay." "Do you think you feel strong enough to try to stand up?" "I'll try." He put his arms around my neck, so close that our mouths almost touched, and he helped me to my feet." "How do you feel?" "Woozy...but I'll live...thanks to you." "Hey guy, since you've got no place to stay...I get a lunch break in about two hours...why don't you come home with me...clean up..,lie down and get some rest." "No, I couldn't do that...I don't want to be any trouble." "It's no trouble man. We're about the same age...how old are you." "Eighteen." "Same here...like I said, we're about the same age and I'd like to think you'd do the same for me if the tables were reversed." "If you're sure." "I'm sure...now come over to the lifeguard stand and get under one of those big umbrellas and relax and enjoy looking at the ocean until I relieved for lunch." "You're awfully nice to do this Chad." "Let's just say it's my way of saying "Welcome to L.A., the city of angels." "That's what I thought you were...an angel." "No way, man, I've got too much of the devil in me to be an angel...besides I don't believe in them." "I didn't either...until today." "Oh shut up and go get under an umbrella," He grabbed me behind the head with his hand...gave my neck a friendly squeeze and led me toward the stand. I had gone as far west as my truck could take me and the more I looked at him and the more I got lost in his blue eyes, the more sure I was that I was going to love Los Angeles. <><><><><><><><><><>