Date: Tue, 3 Dec 2002 15:14:36 -0800 From: JS Collection Subject: Like a promised Sunrise THIS STORY IS TOTALLY FICTITIOUS. IT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIVE SEX BETWEEN TWO MEN. IF THIS IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU DON'T READ IT. IF IT IS ILLEGAL FOR YOU TO BE READING IT YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE TO BEGIN WITH SO JUST GO ELSEWHERE. OTHERWISE, ENJOY IT. JWS P.S. MOST OF MY WRITING HAS SOME SEX IN IT. IT IS SELDOM IN THE BEGINNING AND IS USUALLY AN INTEGRAL PART OF THE STORY. SO IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR JACKOff MATERIAL YOU ARE PROBABLY WASTING YOUR TIME READING ME. JWS Like a Prpmised Sunrise (PART6) J.W.Smith We took turns talking to him for the rest of the day. There was no more response out of him. The girls stopped in during regular visiting hours, and Annie took a turn talking to him. He had closed us all out and wasn't listening any more. They left, I'm sure they were more down hearted than ever. Bob took a break around nine and went down to the cafeteria and to call home to give Betty a report. As soon as he left, I pulled the sheet down to Judd's waist and pulled the silly gown off of him. I started massaging his chest and sides. I continued talking to him as I rubbed his arms, his shoulders and up to his scalp, I leaned down and kissed him. He moaned. I continued with my tactile stimulation, rubbing back down his torso, his thighs, calves, and his feet. His cock was hard as a rock now. Still he did not wake up. I took his cock in my hand and squeezed it a bit. That got another moan out of him. I was talking to him continually. "Oh, Judd you don't know how much I've miss your beautiful cock, too. I want you so badly. Please come back to me. I can hardly wait to feel this big beautiful cock rubbing my prostate again. God, I can feel how you push until you pop inside me, and fill me with your hugeness. I can hear those little whimpers you make just before you come. Oh how your cock gets even bigger and harder just before you come. And when you come, I feel so full of love for you I just come without even touching myself." I realized that it wasn't my imagination. I was hearing him whimper. His balls had pulled up tight. I felt his cock get harder just as he exploded his cum all over himself, the bed and me. I looked at the mess and chuckled. " Wow, you didn't even have to wake up to do that." I leaned forward and licked the cum from his body. I love the taste of him. "You missed a gob." I thought Bob had come back into the room and caught me in this act of desperation. I turned, but there was no one in the room. I turned and looked at Judd. His eyes were open and he was smiling at me. "You're awake." "That was better than phone sex. But next time make it full body contact." "I love you, Judd." A pained expression crossed his face. I panicked. "Are you okay?" He just looked at me with his eyebrows creased. "Judd, can you forgive me for being so stupid? I promise I'll never be jealous of you again. Please, Judd, I don't want to live without you. I don't think I can." "Did I hear Dad's voice awhile ago? Maybe I was dreaming." "Yes. He's down stairs calling your mother. He'll be back up in a few minutes. Let me tell the doctor your awake." I went to the door and called to the doctor. He had his back to me, talking to a nurse. He turned and looked at me. I nodded and grinned. They came hurrying in. Judd had the presence of mind to cover himself. I stood at the head of the bed and held his hand while they did their ministrations. When they pulled the sheet down, it was obvious that I hadn't cleaned him up very well. The doctor stuck his finger in the puddle in the hollow of his neck and smelled of it. He glanced up at me with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged and smiled. The nurse was grinning. The doctor broke into a big grin, too. "Hey, it worked, Doc." I said. Judd turned a deep red and squeezed my hand.The nurse got a warm wet cloth and started to wipe him down. I took it from her. "Let me, I made this mess." I told her. She grinned and acquiesced. "Oh, I thought Judd did it." She giggled. Judd blushed again. "Well, he did, but I caused it." "Would you two stop. You're embarrassing the patient." The doctor said, grinning. We both giggled. "Maybe I should just go back to sleep." Judd said. He was having a hard time acting serious. "Don't you dare?" We three said in unison. It was more than a week after he woke up before Judd was released from the hospital. When Bob saw that he was going to be okay, he went off with Lee for the afternoon. I assumed that he wanted to talk to her being she's a psychologist. The next morning he went back to Pecos. Judd continued to refuse to discuss what had happened and how it impacted our relationship. I assumed that when he got back home he would open up to me. On the morning he was to be released, I arrived with fresh clothes for him. I pushed the door open to his room just as I heard a nurse call my name. I waved and walked on in. The room was empty. The bed had been made up fresh. The flowers and cards, everything was gone. I turned and looked at the nurse who had followed me in. "I'm sorry, I tried to tell you. He left with the two women that come to visit everyday." Her pronouncement laid waste to my equanimity. I fled. I found myself sitting in the jeep parked in my garage. How long I had been sitting there I know not. I had no memory of even driving back from the hospital. I dragged myself up to the loft. I stood in the middle of the floor and broke down. This time I cried for me. Although I still didn't feel I deserved Judd's love, I wanted it desperately. When I had cried it out. When there were no more tears. I shuffled into the bathroom and undressed. I stood under the hot shower for several minutes. I dried off and crept into my bed. The only way I could cope was to shut down and sleep. }{ }{ }{ }{ }{ Solitude has made itself at home Emptiness is my bed partner Long nights alone My penitence }{ }{ }{ }{ }{ The phone woke me. I looked at the clock. It read 6: 47 A.M. I picked up the receiver just before the machine took over. "Lo." I mumbled. "Jace?" It was Judd. I wanted to lay the phone back into its cradle, but I couldn't pull it away from my ear. "Jace? Are you okay?" "Why do you ask?" "Because I care." "I'm okay." "I want to apologize for not telling you I was leaving with Annie. I just didn't want to argue with you." "I succeeded in pushing you into her arms, did I?" "No, Jace. She and Lee took me to my new apartment. Dad And Lee arranged the rental." "I see." "Jace, I want to work this out with you. I don't think it would work living with you right now. I have a lot of things to work out in my head. And the problems get ignore if we are sleeping together. You see that don't you?" "I'm happy you want to work it out with me. Judd, I am so sorry for what I did. I pray that you can eventually forgive me." "It's going to take time and work to get back to where we were." "Did Lee tell you I start group therapy next Wednesday?" "No, she didn't tell me." "Professional integrity I guess. She's the one who helped me find this group. It's very confrontational. I think it's just exactly what I need. Lee agrees." "She's been working on me, too. She one of the good guys under that gruff exterior, you know. And Lizz likes her, too." "And I know that Lizz likes Annie, too. She sure does miss you. She wanders around howling like a banshee when it's time for you to be home." "Jace. Don't. Please." "I was just going to say that if your apartment will allow cats you should take her. She'd be much happier with you. Gretch won't let her near me." "You'd give Lizz to me?" "Why not? You love her and she loves you." "Jace, I---." "I know. You don't have to say it." "I love you." Damn, he said it any way. It gave me a warm felling. "I hope to one day be worthy of your love again, Judd." "Jace, I have to run. I have an appointment with the dean in thirty-five minutes. I've missed three weeks of school. I may be suspended for the rest of the semester." "I'm really sorry about that, Judd." "You've got to stop apologizing for everything." "Judd, would you have dinner with me some night?" "Do you think that's wise, right now?" "You could meet me at a restaurant. It's public. Dinner and talk." "Let me think about it. I'll call you this evening." I felt better. At least there was light at the end of this long dank tunnel that I had dug for myself. I made a pot of coffee, mixed mysef a mug of sludge and sat down to think. It was time to pick up the pieces and get my life put back together. I sat at my word processor, forcing myself to concentrate on my characters interaction. After about four pages of continuous writing, I scrolled back and started reading what I had just poured out onto the keyboard. It was dribble. My characters were acting out my emotions, not their own. I reread it looking for any salvageable bit. Then I decided to save it separate from my story. At least it was therapeutic. I went back and read the last two chapters that I had written before all this upheaval. I got the jist of my storyline and where it should be heading, and started writing again. The phone rang shattering my concentration. I realized that it was dusk. I had been writing for nearly ten hours. "Hello?" "Would you meet me at the Barefoot?" "When?" "Forty-five minutes?" "I'll be there." My heart was in my throat the entire time I was dressing. I rushed down to the garage. No, I danced in the lift all the way down to the garage. I was going to see Judd. It was only yesterday that I had last seen him, but that was a lifetime ago. I entered the traffic on the 10 west. It's always slow but it's faster than surface streets nearly anytime. I exited onto Robertson. Every signal was against me it seemed, but I finally got up to Third Street. I hung a right and there was a parking place waiting for me right in front of the restaurant. I rushed into the bar and looked around. I didn't see him. The hostess walked up to me. "Please follow me, Mr. Deason." She led me up stairs. Judd was sitting in a little nook. There didn't appear to be anyone else up there. The hostess disappeared back down the stairs. I stared at Judd. My God, he must be the most beautiful man on earth. He smiled, and motioned for me to sit. "Thank you for coming, Jace." He said. I sat down. We hadn't broken eye contact. I couldn't find my tongue. "You're looking better than when you left the hospital yesterday, Jace." I nodded. "Are you going to stare at me all evening?" he asked. "I'm storing up for later." He grinned. I looked down. "How did the hostess know who I am? She's new. I've never seen her before." "I told her that when my twin came in, to bring him up here." "Hmm, not older brother, huh? Why did you change your mind about dinner?" "I needed to see you, to be able to look at your face when you are talking". The waiter came and took our order. We conversed about how lucky it was that he was allowed to make up the three weeks over the Christmas holiday, and that I was going on a book signing tour in February. He volunteered to stay with Liz and Gretch while I am gone. When our dinner was served we ate quietly enjoying each other's company but staying away from the subject of us. When we stood to go he stuffed his hands in his pockets and walked out the door, turning to say he would call me tomorrow. I waved and walked to my Jeep not looking back. I didn't want him to see how desperate I was feeling as I left. But I had to look as I opened the Jeep door. He was leaning against his pickup looking at me. I grasped the top of the doorframe and stared back. After a few moments he got in to his pickup and drove away. I lay my head against my arms and sighed. Christmas Eve was two days later. I was invited to Annie and Lee's for dinner. I was hesitant to go, but knowing Judd would be there I couldn't stay away. I went out and bought them each a gift. I knew I was over doing it, but why not. I got Judd and Annie laptops and a Personal Secretary for Lee. When I arrived Judd met me at the door and gave me a brotherly hug. At least this time he touched me. I returned it in kind. He studied my face as he stood back. "I'm following your lead. I'm not going to push." I told him. He nodded. Lee stepped up and hugged me whispering in my ear. "Patience has great rewards." I got this image in my head of a slim little piece of paper sticking out of a convoluted cookie. I whispered back. "Ah so." I kowtowed to her. She chuckled and punched me on the arm. "You're such an enigma, Jace. But I'm going to figure you out yet." "Well, I'm, at least, not an enema." "That's arguable." It was a good thing she grinned as she said that, because her tone of voice belied it. Or maybe I was being touchy. Annie stuck her head out of the kitchen and waved. Their living room was decorated conservatively, which I appreciated. There was a small tree on a table in the corner. It was decorated with silver rope and small silver balls. An old fashion angel graced the top of it. They had looped garlands of fresh greenery around the dining area and kitchen door. Red candles on the table. I went in and asked Annie if she if she needed help. "Sure. The only help those two give me doesn't involve cooking. But they do like to eat. Would you stir this white sauce into the peas, add the pearl onions and season them, please?" "No problem." I did as she asked while she smashed yams, adding butter and maple syrup. "What's next?" "Get the ham out of the oven and cut the slices off. You can lay them out on that platter. There's parsley for garnish." It was a Honey-baked Ham; we were in for some good eating.She plopped the yams into a bowl and handed it to Lee, who was standing in the doorway with Judd. "Judd, there are four salad plates and forks in the freezer. Would you place them on the table." She poured vinaigrette dressing over a bowlful of baby greens, tossed it, and handed that to Lee. She whirled and opened a toaster oven and extracted some hot sourdough buns. "I think that's it. Let's eat." She served a nice California Rose wine. I took an obligatory sip. Judd watched me; I winked at him and smiled. He got up and came back with a glass of water for me. Lee raised an eyebrow at me. "I love the taste but I can't drink." I explained to her. "Do you go to AA?" She asked, forever the consummate social worker. "He's intolerant, not addicted. He can't drink even a shot without getting very sick. First thing I learned about Jace." Judd said. "I never heard of such a thing." "Like you're always telling me, Lee, live and learn." Annie said. "Annie, if I had known you were so proficient in the kitchen, I would have let you take over with Betty at Thanksgiving." I said, turning the subject away from my alcohol problem. She laughed. "Thanks, Jace." "Have you two done any talking yet?" Lee inquired. I looked at Judd. "No. I thought maybe this week while school is out would be a good time to start." He said. Lee turned to me. "How do you feel about it, Jace?" "I am willing to go at any pace that Judd is comfortable with. I'm not going to push him." "But how do you feel?" She emphasized feel. I looked at Judd as I answered. "I feel very guilty for hurting two very dear people. I feel that if it were me in their position, I would have a very difficult time forgiving me." Looking at Judd, I said, "I want your love more than anything in the world, but I don't feel worthy of it." I turned to Annie. "I feel I over reacted. I ask again for you to forgive me. Let's be friends." Annie looked me in the eye as she responded. "Jace, you didn't overreact. I would have done the same thing if I had been in your position. It's I that needs to ask your forgiveness. It was thoughtlessof us to shower together, even though there isn't the least sexual interest between us. Will you forgive me?" "Of course, I forgive you. I knew when I saw you two washing each other's hair there was nothing bad happening. It's just that jealousy has no intelligence." "Annie and I had a long discussion about it. I'm just glad it wasn't me that happened to walk in on them. I probably would have reacted more strongly than you did." Lee said. Annie blushed and ducked her head. Judd had sat there quietly nibbling his salad during all this. He kept glancing up at me as he chewed. We were all quiet for a minute, and then Annie looked up at me. "The thing that I was angry about was that you didn't go after Judd. Especially after eight days. And that you didn't answer you phone during that time." Annie said. "Jealousy is a sick horrible illness. It makes me nauseous to think about how it was making me act. I seemed to have no control over my thoughts. I dwelled constantly on imaging you two together, even though I knew that you and Judd are gay." "Recognizing jealousy and what it can do is half the battle in combating it." Lee said, and then she turned to Judd. "Judd your very quiet, Are you okay?" He looked at me. He had tears running down his cheeks. "I think that my actions were totally juvenile. I was in the wrong from the beginning. I never stopped to think about how it looked, Annie and me in the shower. Hell, I may have just killed if I had been you, Jace. I knew that drinking was no way to respond to your anger. It was childish to do so. I kept hoping that you would come make me stop. I am embarrassed that I did it. I am thankful that you three care about me. I love you all. Jace, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I'd be most grateful. I really do love you." "I have never thought about you needing forgiveness. I've been wallowing in my own guilt so much that I haven't considered you being guilty of anything. Of course, I forgive you. How could I not? What you did, I drove you to doing. Damn, Judd, you've become the center of my life. I've come to love you more that life itself." "I haven't been communicating very well. I kept hearing you begging my forgiveness and I've been feeling so guilty myself, I couldn't figure out why you needed forgiving, Jace. And I apologize for not being a little more adult in my actions. I'll try to be in the future. You know I love you with my total being." There was total quiet at the table as we stared into each other's eyes. I felt like pushing the table aside and grabbing that beautiful young man sitting across from me and ravishing him right there. Finally Lee cleared her throat. "We have a wonderful dinner getting colder as we sit here. Let's eat it in appreciation of Annie's effort to feed us." We all grinned and dove into the food. I hadn't had such an appetite in weeks. And from the way Judd was eating, he hadn't either. There was only a few scraps of ham left when we all push back from the table. We move into the living room for coffee and a light English trifle. Although I sat on the sofa, Judd chose to sit in a chair opposite me. I figured that even though he had expressed his love for me, he still wasn't comfortable getting close to me. I couldn't blame him; I was still beating on myself. Nothing more was said about the occurrences of the last three weeks. We discussed world events. Somehow we got onto the subject of having a family "I don't know about how I feel about adopting, but I've always wanted my own child. Lee and I have discussed it some, but finding the father we would want is a problem." Annie said. "You know I've always dreamed about having a family. Having been raised in a loving home I guess it's natural. The only thing is I don't want a wife." Judd said. We all laughed. "You've got a big problem, Judd." Lee laughed. "Annie and I can have kids with just the semen from a man, but you are going to need a whole woman to give you a child." When the time came to part I could feel the depression of having to go back to my loft alone begin to grow. I'd set my mind to the fact that he had his own place now; that he didn't want to live with me. As the girls walked us out to the sidewalk, Lee embraced my waist and whispered. "Remember what I said earlier. And cheer up." They said goodnight and went back inside. I stood with my hands in my pockets, looking at Judd. He was staring at the ground. He looked up at me. "Will you let me go back home with you, Jace?" He asked in a little boy voice. I thought my heart would burst with joy. My hands came out of my pockets and to his face. I pulled him to me and kissed him, wrapping my arms around him. "Oh God, I love you, Judd. Come on, we'll get your pickup tomorrow." I dragged him toward the Jeep. When I slid the door open and Lizz saw Judd she let out a chilling yowl and tried to climb his leg. He bent down and pick her up. She was butting her head against his chin and purring like a motorboat. Even standoffish Gretch was wrapping herself around his legs. I picked her up and she immediately climbed onto my shoulder. I wrapped Judd in a hug with Lizz in between us. Gretch moved off of my shoulder on to his and rubbed her head against his cheek. "I think you have been missed. Welcome home, Sweetheart." He leaned into me, crushing Lizz as he kissed me. She just purred a little louder. We put the cats down and moved back into each others arms. We held each other for several minutes lightly kissing back and forth. "Come on, it's late. lets go to bed." I said breaking away and pulling him with toward the bed. I turned and started undressing him. He followed my lead. We kissed each part that we bared. When we were totally naked we climbed into bed. We couldn't let go of each other. We snuggled and hugged kissing lightly. Neither of us had a hardon. It was enough this night to just enjoy holding and loving each other. There was plenty of time later for love. We eventually drifted off to sleep. Walking the next morning, I was cuddled up against Judd with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I just lay there enjoying the fact that he was back and I was in his arms. I poured two glasses of juice and sat down on the sofa facing the windows. Judd came in, my eyes carressed him as he sat down between my legs on the floor, wrapping an arm around my thigh. Neither of us was sleepy. He took his glass and drained it in one gulp. "Being in love is thirsty business." He explained. There's a floor to ceiling mirror between the two windows. Judd studied the two of us as I sipped my juice and enjoyed the feel of his body between my legs. "You know," he said in a subdued voice, "We're not just incestuous. I think we must be narcissistic, too." "Why?" "Look at us." He motioned toward the mirror. " We look like identical twins." "I look older." "Not really. But it's easy to tell us apart. You've got a bigger cock." "That's a grand way to identify us. I'll just pull out my cock and say, 'See I'm Jace. My cock is a quarter of an inch longer and half an inch bigger around.'" We laughed. "What I can't figure out, Judd, is that if we look so much alike, how come I don't get a hardon looking at myself in the mirror? I look at you in the mirror and see what the effect is." It was so good to have him back. I still can't believe I was capable of having thrown him out. I was one sick fucked-up idiot. Two Years Later I awakened late in the morning. Judd was spooned against my back. My head rested on one of his arms and the other was around my chest. I lifted his arm and started to move toward the edge of the bed. He pulled me back and nuzzled the back of my neck. "You better let me go. Neither of us is into water sports." "Mmm, hurry back. I'm not through with you yet." He murmured. When I came out of the bathroom he was spread eagle on his stomach. I stopped to enjoy his beauty, his muscular back, the two delectable mounds of his ass, and those long legs that were recently wrapped around me as we made love. Since he was lightly snoring, I went to the kitchen and made coffee. I walked back to the end of the bed. I crawled up and lay down on top of him. I kissed the back of his neck. " Merry Christmas, Jace. I'm all yours." He mumbled. "Do with me as you will. Just don't expect any response out of me. You've worn me out." "Merry Christmas to you, Fluffy Buns. It's going to be hours before I can get it up again. I've never cum so many times in one night. Roll over and hold me." I raised my body so he could turn. We wrapped our limbs around each other. I gazed into his eyes. "Like a promised sunrise you ascend into my day." I murmured to him. He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "You remember my poem." I nodded and smiled back at him. I repeated the rest of it. "The brightness of your eyes lights my way. With you I am where I belong, Protected in your arms. I've never felt so strong." "I mean every word of it." He said. "You couldn't have said it any better for the way I feel about you, Judd." Post Script: We're supposed to be on our way over to Lee and Annie's to have Christmas Eve dinner and celebrate our second anniversary, but Judd has nearly undressed me. I reciprocated. I cannot keep my hands off of him. I'm so happy the feeling is mutual. I called Lee. "We will be a few minutes late, we have been waylaid." "Yeah, which way did you horny bastards get laid this time?" She asked. "That's way more info than you need laid on you, Lady." I replied. That's all You may flame me or what ever at js.collection@verizon.net