Date: Thu, 3 Apr 2003 16:47:29 -0800 (PST)
From: rimpigfl <rimpigfl@yahoo.com>
Subject: MARINE QUANDARY

Disclaimer: This is not true. I could have been or could be. That's the way
fiction is. Sometimes it's so much like real life that real life copies it
and makes it happen. But if it did happen, in this case, I don't know
anything about it.

This story is dedicated with love to my "twin" sister Robin because she
loves this kind of story.  Just like I do. I also love the ones that she
writes. Thanks for being there, "sis".

MARINE QUANDARY
by RimPig (c) 2003

It had been many years since I had been down this street. Years of
struggle, loneliness and heartache. Had it really been ten years? Seemed
like only yesterday I had ridden my bike along this street in the carefree
days of summer vacation. No school and a seemingly endless summer to bask
in the glow of the warm sun. Time to do nothing and enjoy being idle.

I had not been idle since I left. My life had been one of constant striving
to improve who and what I was...a Marine. I left for boot-camp from here
the week after my 18th birthday. My parents could not understand why I
wanted to leave. Nor could they ever understand why I didn't come back
home. Now they never would. I was grateful for that. I don't think they
could ever understand. I would only be seen as a failure in their eyes,
something I didn't want to face. Now, I wouldn't have to.

Up ahead, I saw the house where I grew up. Somehow, it looked smaller than
I remembered it.  I'd heard that memories of childhood did that, made
things seem bigger because of the relative size of a child. I thought that
because I'd last seen it at 18, this wouldn't happen but I guess the
memories I cling to are from a much younger time in my life.

I slowed my walk, at first just to take in everything but I soon realized
that I was doing so because I still wanted to avoid what was going to
happen there. I knew it would be a confrontation, but I had thought on the
plane that I was ready for it. Now, nearing the house, I knew I
wasn't. Maybe I never would be. But, like my training in the Corps had
taught me, people go into battle afraid. It is not what you felt, but
whether or not you had the courage and determination to go through it. I
drew on every bit of my determination as I walked up the driveway past the
late-model truck and drew near the front door.

It seemed strange to ring the bell to ask admittance. This had been my home
for the first 18 years of my life, but it was no longer. I did not belong
here. Maybe I had no real right to be here but I had no choice. I had been
summoned and I had responded as duty required. I stood there waiting for
the door to open, finally hearing footsteps approaching. The door opened
and there he stood.  My older brother, Jeff. Two years older than me, I was
taken aback by how little he'd changed since I'd last seen him ten years
before. His dark hair, his blue eyes, his handsome face all seemed fairly
much the same. He was still taller than I am by a few inches and, though
he'd be 30 now, his body showed little change from the high school and
college football star that he had been. His shoulders were wide and his
waistline slender. I could see through his t-shirt that his chest was still
massive and now heavily furred, shown by the curls of dark hair that peeked
out of v-neck of the white cotton. His arms still bulged with muscles
showing that he not only owned a health spa, he evidently worked out there
religiously as well.

"So, the prodigal finally returns." he said without a smile.

"Hello, Jeff." I said.

"I didn't think you'd actually come." he said gruffly.

"Then why did you call?" I asked, holding my anger tightly in check.

"Because even though you didn't give a damn about them, you had a right to
know. You were their son. Or did you just decide that was too inconvenient
for you?" he said sarcastically.

"Look, Jeff, if you want to fight, fine. But let me come inside so the
entire neighborhood doesn't have to witness it." I said, clenching my fists
tightly, including the one around the webbed handle of my duffle.

Jeff turned and walked into the house. I followed him, closing the front
door behind me. I followed him into the kitchen where he poured two cups of
coffee and sat down at the table, not saying anything but putting a cup
across from him for me. I sat down and stared into the coffee for a couple
of moments before taking a sip. Then I looked up into his blue eyes and saw
the anger at me still there.

"Would it have killed you to come home just once?" he said quietly, his
voice hard.

"Yes. It probably would have." I said, just as quietly but without anger or
sarcasm.

That rocked him a bit. He looked at me strangely. I guess this wasn't the
answer he was expecting.

"Did you hate it here so much? Did you hate them so much?" he said, raising
his voice.

"No, Jeff. That's what you don't understand. I loved them." I said not
raising my voice in answer.

He stared at me again. This was not going the way he'd planned evidently. I
was not making the right responses and was not allowing him to goad me into
a fight. He clearly was feeling the sand shifting beneath his feet and
didn't know which way to jump.

"Well, all I can say is you had a real fucking funny way of showing it!" he
growled and then fell silent.

We sat there, drinking coffee, not speaking or looking at each other for
the longest time. I couldn't look at Jeff. I knew if I did, all the old
feelings would come rushing back and I just wasn't in any condition to deal
with them right now. Finally, however, I knew I had to say something.

"What really happened?" I asked softly, looking up finally into Jeff's
face.

"What do you mean? Just what I told you! It was an auto accident. They were
hit by a drunk driver." he said.

"Jeff," I said softly, turning my eyes down again so I didn't have to look
at him. "Have you ever heard of something called an 'Out Of Town News
Stand'?".

"Fuck!" I heard him groan and looked up in time to see his face collapse
into what could only be described as abject and total grief.

Tears began to fall down his face as he looked at me. I didn't know what to
do. I so wanted to reach out and take him in my arms and hold him, but not
only would he probably push me away, I was too afraid of my own reactions
if I did. He covered his face with his hands and sat there sobbing for a
while. I didn't know what to do. I just sat there staring down at the cup
of coffee between my hands. Finally, I thought of one thing I could do. I
got up and walked over to the sink where there was a roll of paper towels
suspended in a holder over the sink. I pulled off a couple and came back,
sat down at the table, and handed them to Jeff.

He looked up as my hand, holding the paper towels out to him, came into his
line of vision. He looked up almost as if he wondered who I was and where I
had come from. He took them and dried his eyes and then blew his nose
loudly into them. I could see how ashamed he was for coming apart in front
of me. He couldn't look me in the eyes.

"So you know." he said softly, his voice husky.

"I know what the local paper said. What I want to know is what really
happened." I told him.

"Mom had been sick a long time, I guess about three years. She wasn't going
to get better. The doctors finally told her that she had less than a year
to live. She was in so much pain and nothing they gave her seemed to do
anything. Dad went crazy. That's the only way I could describe it. If you'd
seen him, you would have wondered who had the cancer! His weight went down
almost as dramatically as hers did. He wouldn't eat, he couldn't sleep. He
spent every waking hour at her bedside. Finally, as far as I could tell,
she begged him to put her out of her misery. I don't think she had any idea
what she was asking of him." Jeff said, more tears beginning to stream down
his face.

"How do you know she asked him to do it?" I asked, wanting to know for sure
that this was something she wanted.

"They both left notes, to both of us." he said and started crying again.

I decided not to push him right then about anything else and picked up my
duffle and headed upstairs to my old room. I was shocked when I walked into
it. It wasn't just my room. It had turned into a shrine! Not only was it
exactly the way I had left it, nothing moved or changed, but hanging on the
wall, where there had previously been a blank space, was a cork bulletin
board with pictures and newspaper stories about me from the local paper.
Somehow, every phase of my career as a Marine had been documented and every
letter I'd ever sent home was hanging there with the envelop pinned to the
cork. I was not expecting this. It cut through me like a knife and now I
found myself standing there with tears streaming down my face. I buried my
face in my hands, not able to look anymore at such an obvious symbol of
their love and devotion to me. I literally sank to my knees beside my old
bed unable to take the pain that was going through me. I don't know how
long I stayed that way but, finally, I heard a soft voice behind me.

"They really loved you. Didn't you know that?" my brother's voice came
without anger or sarcasm now.

"I knew that they loved me. I didn't know to this extent." I said, not
turning to look at him.

"David, why did you leave? Why didn't you ever come back? Please, tell
me. I want to know." he said.

I stood up and walked over to the window and looked down at the back yard,
a scene I had looked at for all of my young life.

"No, Jeff. You don't want to know. The funeral is tomorrow, the next day
I'll get back on a plane and that will be the last time you will ever see
me." I said, my voice determined. "I want you to forget me. Forget you have
a brother."

"Why the fuck are you being this way? What the fuck did we ever do to you
to make you hate us so much?!" he screamed at me.

I turned to see the anguish in his face.

"You don't understand. You probably never will, Jeff. I don't hate you. I
didn't hate Mom and Dad. I love you. I really do. I just can't be here ever
again." I said and then turned back to the window.

Jeff stood there for a while and then turned and walked out of the room. I
leaned my head against the cool glass and more tears came. Tears for Mom
and Dad, so locked into loving each other that neither could stand to be
without the other. I could understand that. I could even envy it. I loved
someone like that. I had for years.

It got darker and I could hear rattling downstairs in the kitchen and
started to smell the scent of roasting beef. I sat on my bed in the
gathering dark without turning on the lights. I was too lost in my thoughts
and memories to notice or care. Finally I heard footsteps coming up the
stairs and then Jeff's shadow from the hall light falling onto the floor of
my room.

"Dinner's ready if you want something to eat." he said.

I looked up and he gave me a look that was so clearly begging me not to
force him to eat alone that I got up and followed him downstairs to the
kitchen again. He filled a plate for me and set it in front of me and then
sat down across from me again, just as we'd been that afternoon. I
listlessly started to eat. Although I really had no appetite, it was very
good and I told him so.

"I don't get to cook too often. No sense, me living alone." he said.

This shocked me! Jeff, the last my mother had written about him, was
supposed to be engaged to some girl named Linda. I thought surely he'd be
married by now, but then I remembered, there had been no more talk about
Linda or a wedding and that had been for over a year now.

"What happened? Mom wrote me that you were engaged to a girl named Linda."
I said.

"We broke up. Marrying her would have been the biggest fucking mistake of
my life. Luckily, I woke up in time and broke it off. Mom and Dad were
unhappy at first but they understood. It was better than a divorce, which
is what it would have eventually come to." Jeff said, looking at me and
keeping eye contact for the first time.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I really mean that."

"Yeah. I know you do. So, how about you? Anyone in your life?" he asked.

"No. And not likely to be, either. I'm not interested in a relationship.
Too messy. Too much pain.  Not worth it." I said.

"You sound like you have a lot of experience - bad experience." he said.

"No, just one. That's really all it takes." I said.

"What happened?" he asked.

I hesitated. I really didn't want to discuss this with him. But I also knew
that if I didn't say something, it would just cause him to possibly get
angry at me again, something I wanted to avoid until I had to leave.

"It just didn't work out. It was too one-sided. I was the one in love. I've
learned my lesson. As they guys in the Corps say, 'Find 'em, Feel 'em, Fuck
'em, Forget 'em'." I said.

"You can't do that all your life! Don't you want someone to love you? Don't
you want someone to belong to you? Someone you belong to?" Jeff said,
almost as if he were begging me.

"Sure I want that. Everybody wants that and almost nobody ever finds it.
Fuck it! I'd rather not play the fuckin' game. Just take my pleasure where
I can find it and to hell with love and the rest of that crap! All it does
is hurt!" I said and realized that I was almost screaming.

"Whoever she was, she really did a number on you, Davy!" Jeff said quietly.

I don't even think he realized he had reverted to the name he had always
called me as a child. And I was so overwrought by that point that I just
snapped back.

"Well, I don't see you married! I guess we both had numbers done on us!"

Jeff didn't answer and we ate in silence for a while. When we were done,
just as when we'd been boys, he washed the dishes and I dried. Our
conversation was minimal. We went in and tried to watch TV but I was too
tired to stay up. I said good night to Jeff and went up to my room. I got
undressed and slid into bed with nothing but my skivvies on. I thankfully
dropped off to sleep almost immediately.

I don't know what time it was, sometime in the middle of the night, but I
heard Jeff's foot-steps on the stairs and then walking down the hall. I
thought at first he was going to his room for the night but instead, I
heard the door to my room open and saw the soft light from the nightlight
in the hall spill onto the floor of my room. Jeff's shadow stretched across
the floor with the light as he stood in my doorway. Slowly, quietly, he
walked into my room and came over to my bed. I was laying on my side facing
the room. I kept my eyes closed except for the smallest slits, hoping he'd
think I was still asleep. He stood there for a while, just looking down at
me. Then I felt his hand gently brushing the bristly hair of my 'high and
tight', stroking my head. Then he leaned down and gently kissed my cheek.

While all of this was quite amazing to me, I realized that this was just
the show of his affection for me as his brother, nothing more. Not unwanted
or unappreciated but so far from what I wanted from him - had always wanted
from him. A fact he never did or will ever know. It was the reason I'd
left. The reason I had never returned until the tragedy forced me to. What
none of them, Jeff or our parents, had ever known is that I was queer.

I'd discovered it myself when I was about 15 years old. I suddenly realized
that I had no interest in girls at all. My interest completely lay with my
friends, the young males I played baseball and wrestled with. Football was
Jeff's sport and so I learned to excel at other sports, trying to make my
own mark in the world, out of the shadow of my very handsome and popular
brother. While never achieving his status in high school, I did alright. I
had a large circle of friends, mostly team-mates and had found that jocks,
by and large, have very open outlooks on how and with who they get their
sexual needs met - as long as there was a guarantee of complete privacy.
Having sex with other members of your team meant protection. One couldn't
'out' someone else without outing themselves.

But it was what I finally learned about myself, other than the fact that I
was gay, that drove me to leave my home, my hometown and vow never to
return. I knew I had fallen in love. Being a boy from a small town in the
Midwest and finding out you're gay is bad. Finding out that you're in love
with another boy compounds the difficulty because the chance of him having
the same feelings are about the same as an ice cube in hell! But finding
out that the boy you're in love with is your own fucking brother - well,
that's too much for anybody to deal with! And so I left, hoping that
distance and time would kill the feelings that I had for Jeff.

With the touch of his hand on my head and his lips on my cheek, I knew that
my plan to kill my feelings for him had failed. It had been 10 years since
I had been anywhere near him, and yet here I was, my heart pounding, my
body sweating and my feelings completely disrupted because he'd leaned down
close enough that I could smell his scent - a scent that I had come to know
and love so well. It's said that the sense of smell is the strongest
trigger of memory in the brain. One whiff of Jeff's scent had sent me
spiraling almost out of control with love and desire for him. His very
touch had caused my cock to instantly harden and it was now dripping
wetness which I knew was causing a large wet-spot on my olive briefs.

I lay there trembling, wanting him so badly and knowing that he was the one
male I could never have. The one male that I could never let near me again
because this reaction was going to happen every time. No amount of distance
could kill what I felt for him. I just laid there praying he would never
know.

Jeff continued to stand there, watching me. I wanted to scream at him to go
away! To get as far away from me as he could! I know he had no idea what he
was doing to me but that didn't change the fact that it was like a knife
wrenching my guts out! I wanted him. I needed him. I loved him.  But I
could never, ever let him know that or he would hate me.

Suddenly my litany of self-pity was interrupted. Jeff was talking. His
voice low and murmuring so that, even though he was standing right next to
me, I could barely hear him. I strained to listen.

"I love you, Davy. I always have and I always will. Somehow, I guess you
figured that out which is why you never came back. Why you don't want to be
here now. I tried to forget you! I tried to bury my feelings for you! I
even tried to get married. What a joke! I lied to you, bro. I didn't break
up with Linda, she broke up with me. What girl is gonna want to marry a guy
who can't even get it up with her? I'm sorry that you ended up with a
brother who's a queer and in love with you. I can't help myself. And when
you leave after the funeral, I don't know what I'll do.  Maybe you'll get
sent back for one last one." he said quietly and then started to go.

One last one?! NO!!!

I leaped out of bed and grabbed hold of Jeff. He turned in shock, looking
like he was waiting for me to hit him. I pulled him down on the bed and I
put my arms around him. I was crying and holding on to him and I couldn't
get a word out. Jeff kept trying to pull away, but the Marines teach you
how to immobilize a man, training that Jeff didn't have so he didn't know
how to counter it. I held onto him until I could calm down enough to talk.

"Jeff! You've got to listen to me!" I growled as he struggled to get
away. "Stop that or I'm gonna have to hurt you and unfortunately I know
how!"

He stopped struggling but continued to glare defiantly at me. I continued
to hold on to him while I looked into his fierce eyes.

"Jeff, calm down. I don't want to hurt you. I just want you to listen to
me. Please!" I begged.

I could feel him relaxing under me but I held on for a few more moments
making sure that this wasn't a fake on his part. His eyes softened and
lowered as if he couldn't look at me.

"Jeff, please! Open your eyes. Look at me, bro. Please." I begged him
again.

He slowly opened his eyes. There was fear there this time. He was afraid of
me, afraid of what my reaction was going to be to what I'd obviously heard
him say.

"Jeff, the reason I left, the reason I stayed away is because I am in love
you." I said.

His eyes opened wide in surprise.

"I fell in love with you. I knew it was wrong and so I left. I thought I
could kill those feelings. I thought that being away from you would stop
them. But the longer I stayed away, the stronger they got. I wouldn't be
here now except I couldn't figure any way out of it! I love you, damn it! I
still love you! I can't stop!"

And now my tears came. All the pain, the loneliness, all the hurt of ten
years came pouring out of me and I lay my head on my brother chest and
bawled like a little kid. Slowly, Jeff's arms came around me and held
me. His lips gently kissed my forehead and he rocked me back and forth just
like I was a little kid again.

"Oh, my God! Davy! I never knew. I love you so much but I never thought
that you could love me." he murmured as he held onto me.

I finally stopped crying and looked into his face. I'm sure I looked a
mess, tears still wet on my face, my eyes red, but it didn't seem to matter
to him at all. He rolled us over on the bed until he was looking down at me
and then his lips came closer and closer until they touched mine. My eyes
closed on their own and I gave myself up to him. His mouth touched mine so
gently and then I felt his tongue begging for entrance. I opened to him and
we tasted each other for the first time. It was a kiss that seared me to my
very core! Oh, how I had wanted this, fantasized about this, prayed for
this and never thought that it would ever happen.

We held each other and kissed for what seemed like hours. Maybe it was. It
certainly didn't matter. We had years to make up for. I wanted him to make
love to me but somehow, it was enough just to lay there holding each other
and gently kissing or murmuring our love and regret to each other. Finally,
my emotions were exhausted and I could see his were as well.

"Jeff, sleep with me tonight. Please?" I asked.

"I was hoping you'd ask." he smiled. "But I've got to say something first."

"Okay." I said softly.

"Davy, I want to make love to you but I just don't feel right about it
now. I'm tired, I'm emotionally wrung out. It's not that I don't want you!
I swear! It's just that I don't want to disappoint you. I don't want our
first time to be bad. Do you understand?" he said.

"Jeff, get undressed and get in bed." I said. "I understand completely. To
be honest, I want you to hold me as much as I want to make love to you
right now. I need you, bro. I just need to have you put your arms around me
and let me know that you love me."

Jeff smiled down and began to undress. I watched as his beautiful body was
slowly revealed and, while my cock stayed erect, I looked at his body and
simply enjoyed the beauty that was my brother, my lover. I knew that his
body was mine and mine his, whenever we wanted. I truly did just want to
feel that body pressed against mine, his arms holding me.

Jeff slid beneath the sheets and I after him, sliding into his arms as
naturally as if we had been doing this all our lives. My head rested on his
chest and his arms encircled me. This felt so comfortable, so right I
couldn't now imagine what it was I had ever felt was wrong about it. Jeff
leaned down and gently kissed my lips.

"I love you, Davy." he said quietly.

"I love you, Jeff." I murmured.

And together, we drifted off to sleep.

It was somewhere just after dawn that I awoke. At first I was completely
lost as to where I was.  Then I could see the outlines of the furniture in
my old room. Then I felt the warm body cuddled up to my back and the arm
holding me close. The previous night all came flooding back. I could also
feel Jeff's hard cock mashed up against me. Mine, as usual was hard as
well. I just lay there, feeling the warmth of his body surrounding mine. I
knew he'd wake up eventually and we probably would then finally, after all
these years, make love to each other. Something I had dreamed about for so
long. Something I figured would never happen. I finally became so aroused
by the idea that I decided I couldn't wait for Jeff to wake up.

I turned in his arms and faced him. I started kissing his face, his cheeks,
he nose, his eyes and finally his lips. That still didn't wake him up so I
began moving down his body until I was face to face with his hard cock. I
slowly took it into my mouth and began to moved down on it, swallowing more
and more if it. I figured it for about eight inches and thick. I hadn't
seen him hard since we were kids and it was not this big when I saw it
last. I knew this because I had fantasized about him for over ten years. I
wasn't, however, in any way disappointed that he had grown. I had too. My
cock was almost identical to his. I hoped that he would like the surprise I
had for him as much as I loved this one.

I slowly moved to where I could swallow and begin to take his cock down my
throat. As thick as it was, it was a tight fit, but Marines are trained to
be determined and I was very determined to take his cock all the way to his
balls. His balls were large and hairless (I later learned he shaves
them.). His pubic hair, however, was dark and thick. The scent of him - the
musk, the sweat - was strong here and I breathed in as much as I could
while working his cock down my throat and out again. I loved this most
about him - the strong scent of him, his maleness, this unique scent that
was Jeff.

I felt movement above me and then one of Jeff's hands on the back of my
head, not pushing, just stroking and letting me know how much he was
enjoying this early morning blow-job. Having spent a lot of nights with a
lot of males, I knew how much waking up this way, your hard cock in
someone's warm, wet mouth, was appreciated. For the first time in my life,
however, I was doing it not as a repayment for great sex the night before
or because a particular body made me incredibly horny but because I truly
loved this man and wanted to do anything I could to bring him pleasure.
That was my way, that was who I am. I wanted to give pleasure to this man
who had been my love and my ideal for my entire life.

I thought he was getting close to orgasm when I felt him pulling away from
me. I tried to get him back in my mouth but he reached down and pulled me
back up the bed until his arms were again around me and his face nuzzled in
my neck. He held me close to him and I relaxed in his arms. It was evident
that he wanted this to be unhurried between us the first time. I couldn't
argue with that. We had both waited so long, why not make this first time
something that we would remember, that somehow would be worth all the
waiting, all the pain that we had both suffered by wanting each other.

He raised his head and his lips sought mine. At the same time his tongue
was invading my mouth, one of his hands was sliding down my back and gently
slid beneath the waistband of my briefs and began stroking the left cheek
of my ass. His touch raised goose-flesh on the skin of my butt-cheek and I
shivered slightly in his arms. But I wasn't cold. It was the incredible
desire I had for him that was flowing through my body. His hand kept
stroking my butt and gradually it moved into the crack of my ass. I could
feel two of his fingers exploring my trench and they casually grazed over
the puckered opening to my body. At the contact with this part of me, I let
out an uncontrolled moan into his mouth as he continued to passionately
kiss me. Just the light touch of his fingers had set off an unquenchable
fire in my guts to feel his hardness pierce my opening and take possession
of me.

"Jeff...fuck me...please?" I murmured pulling my mouth away from his.

"Is that what you really want, Davy?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, Jeff! That's what I really want." I said, looking into his eyes.

I'm sure he could see the lust and desire in my eyes just as I saw it in
his.

"I don't want to hurt you, Davy. I'm pretty big." he said.

"You won't hurt me. Trust me. I can take you." I said.

"I take it that you've had some experience?" he asked smiling.

"Yeah, you might say that." I smiled back.

His face turned serious. "I never have." he said.

"Never?!" I asked, shocked beyond belief. "You've never been with another
guy?"

"Davy, I've never been with anyone really. I told you, I tried with
Linda. I couldn't do it. I'd never been with anybody else. I was too
afraid. I thought that they would figure out I was queer and then you'd
find out and Mom and Dad would find out..." and he stopped.

He was getting very worked up over this. I could see the tension in his
face, hear it in his voice, feel it in his body. More importantly, I could
see the tears in his eyes. All the fears he had born, just like me, were
coming back now that he really had the opportunity to put his desires into
action.  I realized that part of that fear was not being able to 'perform'
with me, something I had no fear of at all. I knew that he was able to
carry this through. Now I just had to convince him of that.

I reached up and gently stroked his face, trying to calm him.

"Jeff! Bro! It's okay. It's just the two of us here. Nobody else. You don't
have to worry about a thing. You can't do it wrong with me. You can't fail
with me. No matter what you do, being here with you, you touching me, you
telling me how much you love me is more than enough! More than I ever
expected. Maybe more than I deserve." I said softly.

"What do you mean, 'more than you deserve'?" he asked.

"I took the cowards way out. I left and I stayed gone. I couldn't face the
truth about myself or my feelings. I let you and everyone else think I
hated what I really loved. I don't deserve now to come back and have all of
my dreams come true." I said, the sorrow I felt showing in my voice.

"But I do." he said quietly. "I deserve to have my dreams come true. I've
spent ten years in hell praying that some day you would come back. I didn't
even pray that you would ever love me. I just prayed you'd come back, that
you'd be near me. I prayed that I could at least see you, hear your voice.
I didn't think that was asking for too much. And now that you're here
again, I think we both deserve everything that is happening between us.
We've been through enough pain to pay for whatever happiness we now can
have."

"Is that how you think it works? You pay for happiness with pain?" I asked,
dumbfounded at this idea.

"I don't know. It just always seems that way to me. I look at Mom and
Dad. They loved each other so much. Loved each other in ways that I'm just
beginning to understand lying here with you in my arms. But look how it
ended up? They couldn't live without each other and so, when one was dying,
the other decided to die, too. Not a very happy ending." he said sadly.

"No, but a noble one in some ways." I said quietly. "I can understand not
wanting to live without you. Didn't I hear you last night even
contemplating that very same end because you thought you could never have
me?"

"Yes. You did. I'm sorry. I must appear such a coward to you." he said,
looking away.

"No more cowardly than me. In fact, maybe a lot braver in some ways. You
were at least ready to face what you saw as the inevitable outcome. I
wasn't. I was just going to climb back on the plane and go back to what I
knew was an empty existence for what would have probably been the rest of
my life. How is that brave?" I said, with conviction showing in my voice.

He looked back into my eyes. I could see the tears welling up in his. I
didn't know exactly why but it didn't matter. This time I didn't
hesitate. I moved closer and kissed him hard, letting him know all the
desire and love I had for him. No matter what had happened, this was a new
day, a new beginning for us. This time we didn't have to hide anything from
each other.

He clung to me like I was a life-raft on a stormy sea. I could feel him
drawing strength from me as he slowly began to make love to me again. That
was what I knew we needed. We needed to cement the bond between us in a
physical way. To join our love of each other in a way that could never be
denied. My body moved against his, hungry for his touch. It wasn't sex that
I was hungry for. It was him. I needed his love. I need his commitment to
me. I needed to know that he was prepared to always be there for me as I
would be for him.

His hand slipped down my back and into my briefs to my ass again. I moaned
at his touch and let him know how much I wanted him to go on. He was
licking and sucking at my neck and I threw my head back, giving him
complete access to me. But I felt his mouth pull away and wondered what was
wrong now.

"Uhh...don't we...I mean...shouldn't we have...ahh..." he stuttered and it
took mea moment to figure out what he was concerned about.

"Shouldn't we have lube?" I asked and he nodded. "Yes, we should if you're
going to fuck me like I want you to." I smiled.

"There's no lube in here." he said, a shy smile on his face.

"Wanna bet?" I smiled back.

I slid out of his arms and went over to my duffle, pulling out a bottle of
lube. I turned and saw him looking at me with hunger in his eyes. I decided
to give him a little treat. I turned my back to him again and slowly began
to lower my olive briefs, doing a slow strip-tease to get him even hotter.
I looked back over my shoulder and saw him practically panting as my ass
came into his view. I let them slide to my ankles and stepped out of them.
Then I turned around. I saw his eyes widen at the first sight of my cock,
hard and weeping cock-honey as I crossed back over to the bed. He leaned
forward and before I could get back into the bed, sank his mouth around my
hardon. I gasped and threw my head back in a moan as the warmth of his
mouth surrounded me.  It was not the feeling of his mouth that made me
moan, but the fact that it was HIS mouth! My brother, the man I grew up
loving and hiding that love from was sucking my cock! He was eager to share
with me all the pleasure that one male can give another. It was not a dream
or a fantasy.  He was there and he wanted me, just as I had always longed
for it to be between us.

"Bro! Stop! I don't want to cum this way and I will quickly if you don't
stop." I grinned down at him.

He looked up with a sheepish smile on his face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize." he said shyly.

I slid back into the bed and into his arms.

"Don't apologize. It felt so good! I just didn't want things to end that
quickly." I smiled.

"Did it really feel good?" he asked.

And then it dawned on me. Mine was the first cock he'd ever taken into his
mouth! Everything we were doing was completely new territory for him. I was
the one with experience. I was the one who knew how everything worked. I'm
surprised he even knew that we were going to need the lube I still held in
my hand. I realized that at some point, I was going to have to take the
lead. I didn't want him fumbling around and feeling the pressure of being
in control. That would come later, when he felt more sure of what he was
doing. Besides, this was going to be an equal partnership between us or it
would never work. Though I loved a cock up my butt, fucking me royally, I
also loved to fuck tight butt. He would have to learn that, too.

"Yes, it really felt good!" I smiled at him. "You can do that again later
and I'll teach you a few tricks but you seem to already have a natural
talent for it - just like I found for myself."

He grinned at me with something akin to pride in his eyes. I understood. I
was going to feel the same when I finally felt him unload deep inside me in
his first, ever fuck. He would finally know what it felt to be a man
fucking and getting off as a man is supposed to because I was going to give
my body to him as a vessel for his use.

"Now, however, it's time for you to fuck me." I said.

I saw the eagerness written on his face but also fear in his eyes. I knew
what he was thinking. This was something he didn't know how to do. What if
he didn't do it right? What if he failed? It was one thing to fail with a
woman who he didn't love and was forcing himself to try and have sex with
her. It would be another to fail with me, the person he loved more than
anyone.

"Don't worry about it. It's as natural for a guy as beating his meat." I
said softly. "I'll show you how."

He smiled at this. Yeah! Everything was going to be fine! He trusted me and
loved me. That's all it would take.

I took the lube and quickly used it and two of my fingers to get my hole
open. My ass muscles had been well trained by many a Marine or sailor who'd
entered my backdoor and brought us both such pleasure and satisfaction. I
then reached down and applied the slick liquid to Jeff's cock. He groaned
when I touched him and knew that this might not be a very long fuck for
him.  Not only was it his first, but we'd delayed this from last night. I
knew his weapon had been 'cocked and ready' for quite a while now but as my
DI in boot camp used to scream, 'It's time to lock and load!'.

I lay back and pulled him on top of me. He rose up on his elbows and looked
down at me as I wrapped my legs around his waist. This was pushing things a
bit, I realized. There were a lot of things I was going to have to teach
him about how to make love to another man but those would come in time.
Right now, we'd waited long enough for this joining and waiting any longer
just made no sense at all.

I could feel his hard cock nudging into my ass trench and I looked up into
his eyes. I was stunned by what I saw there. So much love, so much passion!
It all but took my breath away. I had been too worried for the last few
minutes about the mechanics of this fuck that I had forgotten for a moment
what this meant to him - and to me! We had waited so long for this moment
and, now that it was here, the emotions that were flowing through us were
almost too overwhelming to take.

I felt him push further forward so that his cock kissed the upper rim of my
hole. I shifted so that his cock slipped down until it was centered. I
waited for him to move further, but he seemed frozen. I looked up again,
and saw the fear and indecision on his face. Time for some encouraging
words!

"That's it, bro. Just push forward. Let it slide in nice and easy." I said.

"I don't want to hurt you!" he said.

"You won't hurt me, bro. It will feel really good for both of us. I
promise." I murmured to him and at the same time used my heels to press
into his butt to push him inside me.

As I figured, he slid in easily and, before he even realized it, he was
buried completely inside me.  The look on his face was one of sheer ecstasy
as he felt my hot, wet hole wrapped around his man-meat for the first
time. I knew exactly what he was feeling and it was all I could do not to
tighten my muscles around his cock and give him the jolt of pleasure that I
knew that caused.  However, I figured, this being his first fuck, he was
probably trying desperately not to cum right then. I kept my heels pressed
into his butt so that he did not try to move back yet.

"Just get used to the feeling, Jeff. Relax. You're not going to cum. Just
let the impulse die down and then you can start really fucking me. Raise up
until your resting on your hands with your arms stiff. That will give you
the right angle." I whispered to him.

He paid attention to my every word. He obviously was relieved that I knew
how he was feeling and what to do about it. I could watch the tension leave
his face and body and knew that the tremendous desire to cum was starting
to retreat. Finally, I knew he was not in imminent danger of losing his
load and I let my legs pull back allowing him the freedom to begin moving
his cock in and out of my ass.

His first movements were slow, tentative and short. He only pulled back a
couple of inches and then moved forward again without much power behind the
thrusts. I grinned up at him to let him know that I really was all right
and that he wasn't in any way hurting me. The message started to get
through to him and his thrust began to pick up speed, length and power.
Soon he was pounding my butt as I spurred him on.

"Yeah, bro! Fuck me! Fuck my Marine ass! Fuck me hard! That's it! Shove
that fuckin' cock up my tail!" I moaned as he grinned down at me and
followed my every command.

"Oh! God! You feel so good!" Jeff moaned.

I knew he was getting close. I was paying so much attention to him having
his first fuck and getting off in my ass, that I failed to notice until it
was too late that I was going over the edge myself! The feeling of Jeff's
cock, the cock of the man I loved, was taking past the point of no return
and I had no way of stopping it!

"Ahh! Fuck! Yeah! I'm cummin', bro! Fuck!" I screamed and began shooting my
white, Marine spoonge so hard that the first volley went over my head.

Jeff, gratefully, didn't stop fucking me. I don't think he could at that
point, but I saw him watch my cock unload all over my face, neck chest and
abs. I know he felt my chute clenching around his cock with each burst of
cum from my cock because I could tell that he couldn't hold back any longer
either.

"Davy! I'm cumming! I'm cumming! Fuck!" he shouted and I felt his cock
pulse as he shot his load of brother cum deep inside me where I had wanted
it for so long!

His orgasm seemed to last for hours, though it could have only been minutes
at most. He looked at me with a look of shock at what he was feeling as he
unloaded inside me. I grinned up at him and purposely began clenching my
butt muscles, causing him to groan with each contraction.  When he had no
more cum to give me, he literally collapsed on top of me and I held him in
my arms as he tried to pull himself together. I kissed and licked him
across his shoulders and his neck.  He moaned at the feel of my tongue and
I even felt a weak twitch in his softening cock which was still buried in
my butt.

Our bodies were glued together by my cum but neither of us seemed to mind.
Jeff rose up to his elbows again and looked down at me. Then he began
licking the cum off my forehead and nose where it had landed in my very
uncontrolled orgasm. He also found a glob on my chin which he not only
licked up but, putting his mouth to mine, shared it with my while he kissed
me deeply.

"My God! Is it always like that?" he breathed.

"Yeah, most times it is." I grinned. "But the fact that it was you made it
totally special. I don't remember ever losing control that way with
anybody."

He grinned and leaned down and licked the tip of my nose.

"I love you so much!" he said and as if to emphasize the point, I felt his
cock begin to stiffen again in my tunnel.

"And I love you." I replied, tightening down on his cock to provide even
more feeling.

"Should I pull out? Am I hurting you?" he asked, suddenly concerned.

"Fuck, no! You feel really good in there. Kind of like your cock belongs
there." I smiled.

"God! I can't believe this! I never knew what I've been missing." he said.

"Well...you don't have to miss it anymore." I grinned.

"Do you want to fuck me?" he asked, a certain eagerness coupled with some
fear lit his eyes.

"Yes, Jeff, I do. But not now. We'll work up to that. I don't want to hurt
you either and I would if we tried that now. There's a lot of things that
I've got to teach you but, I promise, you'll have lots of fun learning
them." I said.

"Bet I get straight 'A's'!" he laughed.

"You always did." I said and then, after a few moments. "You're hard
again!"

"Yeah." he said sheepishly.

"Fuck! That's fucking amazing! I don't recover that quick!" I marveled.

"I don't think I do either. I think it's you." he smiled.

"So, feel like fucking me again?" I asked.

"Do you want me to? Can you take it?" he asked, the concern for me showing
in his voice.

"Bro, I can take anything that you wanna give me!" I grinned.

"I'll fuckin' bet you can!" he laughed and began moving his hips again.

He started out slow again, but not out of fear. I think he was really
exploring the feeling this time.  I let him explore and just laid back, my
hands behind my head, and watched him discover the joys of fucking another
male. Every so often he'd close his eyes so that he could really
concentrate on what his cock was experiencing and then open them and look
down at me with the really amazed grin on his face. It was like he was
discovering a whole world but that world was the inside of me.  I don't
think I have ever enjoyed watching somebody fuck me as much as I did
watching Jeff that morning. He was like a kid on Christmas discovering all
the new 'presents' that were there for him.

Finally, I could tell that he was being a little tentative again and I
thought I knew what it was.

"Bro." I said and he looked down at me, his face questioning me as to why I
was calling him.

"Bro, you can't hurt me. No matter how hard or fast you pound. That just
feels good to me, okay? I love being fucked hard and fast." I explained to
him.

Well, it was just like I'd handed him a year's free pass to Disney World!
His face lit up and his hips started to ram into my butt cheeks - full
speed ahead! I grinned back up at him and moaned as his cock was doing such
delicious things up my hole. My bro was definitely going to be a
world-class fuck!

He fucked me hard and fast, just like I'd told him to and all of a sudden,
he shifted his hips just right and his cock was smashing into my prostate
with every circuit of going out and in that it made. My cock was not only
hard, it was leaking cock-honey in a stream like I'd never seen before. I
couldn't believe what was happening but my balls got that tingly feeling
that tell you that you're gonna cum and within moments I was screaming out
as I came again just from Jeff fucking me.

He looked down at me and I could see the exquisite torture on his face as
he began to cum deep in my butt again. He was panting and grunting like an
animal and I could smell his sweat and feel the droplets from him as he
finally stopped cumming and again collapsed on top of me. I wrapped my arms
around him and just held him. I was so happy, so satisfied, so fulfilled.
In fact, I had no idea that I could ever feel this way.

The scents of our bodies and our love-making were all around me. I loved
the mix of all the scents, but I especially loved the scent of my brother,
Jeff. How long I had known that scent! I had known it when he was a boy, a
teenager and now as a man. I so clearly remember his scent when we would
sleep together as children. We had shared a room then. If I got scared in
the middle of the night, it was Jeff's bed I headed for. Sometimes I faked
being scared just to get to climb into his bed and have him hold me in his
arms and go to sleep with him. I didn't know why I wanted this. I knew I
loved him but he was my brother. I had no idea that other brothers didn't
feel the way that I did.

Later, as teenagers, we slept in separate rooms but I would sneak into his
room every so often and grab a pair of his well worn briefs or even one of
his seldom washed jocks and run back to my own room and jack off several
times while huffing the stolen apparel before returning it. It was never
hard to steal things because Jeff was, to put it bluntly, a slob. His dirty
clothes were spread all over his room and I was sure he had no idea whether
something was missing or not. One day, searching for his jock, I found
something even better. A small hand-towel on the floor, slightly under his
bed. It was stiff and smelled strongly. I stuck my nose in it and knew I
had just discovered his cum rag from jacking off. The heady smell of his
teen cum overwhelmed me and before I knew it, I had my hardon in my hand
and jacking off like a fiend! I came within moments and shot my load into
my brother's cum rag, knowing that our cum would mingle, giving me thrills
I was only beginning to understand.

As I lay there, holding Jeff in my arms, other memories started flooding
back again. Memories that I had suppressed for so long because I couldn't
take the pain of them. Like the fact that Jeff came to every one of my
wrestling meets and baseball games and cheered louder than anyone.  How he
would play catch with me for hours which started my love of baseball. He
continued to do this, even when he had begun to play football himself. I,
of course, went to every one of his football games - home or away. There
were times that Jeff even got me a seat on the team bus. I was well known
by his team mates and coaches not only because I was Jeff's brother but
several of them played on the wrestling team and baseball team with me. On
top of that, the assistant football coach was also the wrestling coach and
the head football coach also coached baseball.

I so clearly remembered one night, coming back from an away game, we had a
bus ride of over three hours. Jeff was totally exhausted after the game and
fell asleep soon after the ride started. I was just starting to fall asleep
myself when I felt Jeff stir. I thought he was still asleep but, to this
day, I wasn't really sure. All I know is that his arm came around my
shoulders and he pulled me down until my head rested on his muscular
chest. I reached my arm across him and that's how I fell asleep. Jeff kept
his arm around me the whole time because when we woke up, finally having
arrived back at our school, I was still in Jeff's arms. Nobody evidently
noticed or ever said anything about it. I guess anybody seeing us like that
simply thought it was two brothers who cared a lot about each other.

And that part was true. We never really fought as kids. Wherever Jeff would
go, I would tag along and he never minded. Oftentimes, when he would go
somewhere, he would come and find me so that I could go along. We stayed
close until my senior year in high school. Jeff was already in his second
year of community college by that point and I found it intriguing that he
didn't date.  He had a lot of guys that he would go out with on the
weekends, but I was never invited to go along. I, too, was pulling away
from him because my feelings for him were growing stronger and stronger and
I feared that he would figure out what I was thinking and feeling.

It was in my senior year, however, that something happened that I always
wondered about. It was time for the senior prom and I was getting pressure
from Mom about finding a girl to take to it. I, of course, had no interest
in going in the first place and even less interest in finding a girl to
take to it either. Mom even got Dad into the act and the pressure as the
prom approached was getting greater and greater. Jeff had evidently been
watching all of this and one night, I heard a knock on the door to my room
while I was studying. I figured it was Mom wanting to ask again if I'd
found a girl to go to the prom with me but, instead, it was Jeff who walked
in when I called out to 'come in!'.

"Davy, do you want to go to the prom?" he asked sitting down on my bed and
looking at me.

"Fuck, no! But I don't see any way to get out of it. Mom seems to have a
one tracked mind about it." I said turning in my desk chair so I could look
at him.

"Is it because you can't find a date or you just don't want to go at all?"
he asked.

"I just don't want to go! I could find a date. In fact, a couple of girls
have hinted that they'd be interested. I'm not. Why?" I said, afraid for a
moment that he would get the real reason that I wasn't interested in dating
a girl.

"Well, if you wanted to go and couldn't find a date, I could help you out
on that. I know a couple of girls who'd be glad to go with you. However,
since you don't want to go at all, I'm willing to have a talk with Mom and
get her off your back. She'll listen to me more than she will you about
this, I think." he said.

I was stunned by this! Now, it's not that Jeff hadn't always done nice
things for me and gone to bat for me with my parents on a few occasions
(like when I wanted a skateboard and they were both convinced I'd break my
neck. He convinced them that I wouldn't and I didn't.), but it was like he
not only knew but understood how I was feeling.

"You'd do that for me?" I asked, the shock showing in my voice.

"Sure would. In fact, I'll go you one better! How about the night of the
prom, you and me go out and have some fun. Just the two of us. What do you
say?" he said, grinning at me.

Oh, fuck! It sounded almost like a 'date', but I wasn't about to pass it
up!

"Sure! That would be great!" I said.

I don't know how he did it. Usually when Mom got it in her head that
something was going to happen, it usually did, but not this time. Mom
relented and the night of the Prom, Jeff and I headed out to have some fun!

First, we went to dinner together at the really great steakhouse. Then we
went to see a movie. I didn't really care, at first, which one we saw but
Jeff had one that he wanted to see. I'll never forget it. It was one of the
most beautiful movies I ever saw - "Dances With Wolves". I guess the film
kind of got to us because at the end, I know my eyes were filling up with
tears and I noticed that Jeff was looking like he'd had an allergy attack
or something. Even though the movie was about three hours long, we still
didn't feel like going home. Jeff stopped at a convenience store and bought
a case of beer. I just about freaked! I had no idea that Jeff drank. I
never had because, being a jock, I just never figured it was a good
idea. The guys I hung out with didn't either. But this was different, this
was Jeff.

Jeff drove way out of town and found an empty dirt road and stopped the
car. It was a very warm night and we both decided to take off our shirts
and let the breeze blow across our bare chests. I remember that it was Jeff
that made the suggestion but I was all for it. I loved looking at Jeff's
muscular body - his broad shoulders, his large pecs and his massive
biceps. Even then, he was working out very seriously.  I wasn't doing badly
myself and I didn't mind showing my naked torso to him.

We sat there drinking and talking for hours. We talked about everything
that night. We shared memories of our childhood, we talked about school and
friend, we talked about cars and lots about sports. What we didn't talk
about was girls, sex or much about each other. I noticed, even through my
drunken haze that we also didn't talk about our plans and dreams. I was
glad we didn't because I had already been in contact with the Marine
recruiter in town and was in the process of making my decision about
joining the Corps. I didn't want Jeff to know about this because I was sure
that this was something he would have told our parents and I didn't want
anybody knowing until I was ready to leave. I especially didn't want to
have to try and explain to Jeff why I wanted to join the Marines.

There is an old saying about beer, 'You don't buy beer, you rent it.' and
this was true that night.  After the first six beers that I had that night,
I needed to piss really bad. Unfortunately, I was also in pretty bad shape
by that point, having drank the six beers much too fast and got shit-faced
pretty quick. I told Jeff I had to piss but wasn't sure I could get out of
the car without falling over. He laughed at me and got out of the car. I
noticed that he was handling the beer a whole lot better than I was. I
figured he just was more used to it. Later it would dawn on me that I was
drinking way more of the beer than he was.

Jeff came around to my side of the car, opened the door and grabbed hold of
me and helped me out of the car. He stood there, with his arm around me
while I tried to get my jeans open so that I could piss in grass beside the
car but my fingers and hands wouldn't work on the buttons that night. Jeff,
seeing my difficulty, leaned me against the car and then squatted down in
front of me and undid the buckle to my belt and then opened my jeans. He
pulled them down to my knees and then grabbed hold of my briefs and pulled
them down as well. There I stood, or rather leaned, almost completely
naked, exposed to my brother's gaze as he continued to squat in front of
me. I was so gone by this point, I wasn't even embarrassed. In fact, a
thrill went through me knowing that Jeff was looking at my nakedness. I
even started to get hard before he rose back up.

"Think you can handle it from here or do I have to hold it for you?" he
grinned.

It was a very strange question and, I don't know where I got the balls to
answer it the way I did.

"Well, since you started this, why don't you finish it and hold it for me?"
I grinned a drunken grin at him.

He smiled and put his arm around me, pulling me upright. He then reached
down with his other hand and gently grasped my hardening cock. Of course at
the soft touch of his hand, I instantly had a bone that was so hard it
almost hurt. Luckily, I've never had any problem pissing through a hardon
so, while Jeff held my boner in his hand, I pissed like a race horse. There
was a huge arch of piss that shot out of my cock and into the weeds at the
side of the road.

"Whoa! Fuck! Good one, Davy!" he laughed.

Jeff and I used to have pissing contests when we were kids, shooting for
both distance and accuracy. I know I always loved doing that with Jeff.
That night I finally understood why.

"So why don't you see if you can do better?" I asked him.

"Ok, fucker! I will! As soon as you're done." he said.

I finally ran out of piss and Jeff tried to shake off the last of my piss,
but as hard as my cock was, nothing was about to shake it so Jeff just left
my cock waving in the breeze while he quickly unbuttoned his own jeans and
pushed them and his white briefs down to his knees. My vision beheld almost
all of my brother's beautiful body but especially his cock and balls were
finally exposed to me. They were almost like mine, maybe a little heavier
and, while he didn't have a hardon yet, Jeff's cock was definitely plump
and on the rise. Again, my mouth found courage in the amount of alcohol I'd
consumed.

"You gotta do it the same way! You gotta be hard!" I said, grinning at him.

"No problem, bro!" he grinned back and I watched as his cock hardened to
his full splendor in less than a minute.

He grinned at me again and took my hand and put it on his cock.

"You gotta hold it, just like I did yours." he said.

I squeezed my hand around his cock. It was so warm and soft I nearly moaned
at the touch of it. I slid my hand up and down it once to feel the texture
of it and Jeff did groan but he didn't stop me.  What I failed to notice at
first, was that Jeff was again holding my cock and it was as hard as it had
been before I pissed. I stood there holding his hard cock while I watched
the arch of almost clear piss arch across the road and into the grass.

"Fuck!" I breathed softly.

I wasn't talking about his arch of piss or how far it had gone. It was the
touch, the feel, the vision of his erect cock in my hand while I could also
feel his hand holding mine. I thought that I would cum at any second but
managed to keep myself in check but barely.

"I won." Jeff said to me, his voice low and husky.

"You always did." I said quietly remembering that because he was always
bigger than I was, he always won our 'piss' contests.

We just stood there, looking at each other, our hands still wrapped around
each other's hard cock. I wanted right then and there to hit my knees and
take him in my mouth but the beer hadn't given me that much courage.
Instead I kept looking in his eyes. Today, I would have known that it was
intense, deep love that I was seeing in his eyes that night but then I had
no idea what I was seeing. I knew something was very different at that
moment. I wanted to kiss him so badly and then, like he was reading my
mind, his face started moving closer to mine. As he came nearer, I closed
my eyes and waited for his lips to touch mine. But they never did.
Evidently, he got scared himself at the last moment and instead of feeling
his lips on mine, I felt his cheek press against my cheek, our faces
pressed together.

I can't tell you how long we stayed like that but I know it was a long
time. The nearness of him, the scent of him was strong and I was more than
willing to stand there, our face pressed together, our hands holding each
other's cocks and my eyes closed for the rest of my life. But he finally
pulled away. I opened my eyes then and he smiled shyly at me. I smiled
back. Then he let go of my cock and I let go of his. He pulled his
underwear and jeans back up and buttoned them up and then knelt down in
front of me and did the same for me. I almost laughed at the trouble he had
getting my still hard cock back into my underwear and my jeans re-buttoned.
Through it all, however, not a word was spoken between us and we never
mentioned it or that night ever again.

We finally finished off the beer and I was pretty gone by that point. I
think Jeff was, too. We fell asleep there in the car and, just like that
night on the bus, my head was resting on his chest and his arm was around
me, this time with his head resting against mine. That's how we found
ourselves when the first light of dawn woke us. We pulled apart slowly and
then drove home. We each went to our own beds and slept until noon. I don't
know about Jeff but my dreams were of him.

Now, lying here with him resting on top of me and his cock slowly softening
and slipping from my ass, I realized that all the signs were there, we just
didn't know how to read them or were just to scared to really see what was
happening between us. Jeff rose up and slid off me. I rolled onto my side
and he pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me.

"Jeff..." I said quietly.

"Yeah?" he answered, his voice still husky from the sexual exertion.

"That night of my Prom, did you want to kiss me?" I whispered.

"Kiss you, I practically wanted to rape you!" he smiled. "Why the fuck did
you think I got you drunk?"

"Well, you had me almost completely naked and hard, your hand was wrapped
around my cock and mine was wrapped around yours, why did you stop?" I
asked.

"I got scared. I didn't want you that way. I realized I didn't want it to
be some drunken encounter between us. I didn't want you waking up the next
day and hating me for taking advantage of you." he said softly.

"Couldn't you tell I was totally willing?" I asked.

"Yeah. I could see that. But I thought it was just the booze and you were
horny! I mean, what guy your age at the time wasn't horny all the time?" he
asked.

"Oh, like you weren't!" I grinned.

"Yeah, I was horny, too. But I was in love with you. I wanted more than
just to get off with you.  I wanted this. I wanted to kiss you and hold
you. I wanted to be able to tell you how much I loved you and hear you say
how much you loved me. I wasn't going to fuck that up just to get my rocks
off with you." he said quietly.

"There's a part of me that agrees with that, that is glad you waited. But
there's another part of me that wishes we had done something that night! I
know it would have turned out to be more than sex then. I loved you. If we
had, I would have never left." I said.

"Did you know you were leaving that night?" he asked, and I could see pain
in his eyes.

"No. I'd talked to the recruiter already but I hadn't made up my mind.
Actually, to be honest with you, it was that night that I decided that I
had to leave - that I had no choice." I said quietly, not looking at him.

"Why?! Because of what we did?" he asked, and I could hear anguish in his
voice again.

"No." I said. "Not because of what we did but because of what we didn't do!
I knew that night how much in love with you I was and when nothing
happened, I figured that there was no chance it ever would. I knew the only
safe way to deal with it was to leave." I said, pain and fear welling up in
me.

He pulled me close and I buried my face in his neck and started crying
again. I think we both cried, holding each other. Finally the tears stopped
and we pulled back and looked at each other.

"I wish we could have talked." Jeff said to me, his voice husky from the
tears.

"How could we?" I asked, my voice the same way. "We didn't have the words
or the courage to."

"Looking back now, it was like not talking about an elephant sitting in the
middle of the living room." Jeff said.

"Elephant, what elephant? I don't see no elephant!" I said, trying to make
a joke.

Jeff smiled at me. "That's just it. The denial was incredible. And I think
that Mom and Dad knew."

I just stared at him. I was stunned! How could they know? But, then again,
if they watched us, how could they not know?

"How?" I whispered, the breath all but knocked out of me at his revelation.

"They knew I was gay." he said.

"When did you tell them?" my mind was still reeling from this information.

"When Linda broke off the engagement. They were heartbroken and couldn't
understand what happened. They kept thinking I'd done something wrong,
something to hurt her. They were on my back night and day to apologize to
her and patch things up. I finally had to tell them the truth to get them
to stop." he said.

"Did they know about me?" I asked quietly.

"I'm not sure." he said. "At one point, I think they wondered because I
remember them asking me if that was the reason that you wouldn't come
home. They wondered if I'd done something to you." he said.

"Oh, my God! I'm so sorry, Jeff! You didn't deserve that!" I said.

"Yes, I did. No, I didn't 'do' anything to you, but I sure wanted to! I
wanted to do all kinds of things with you. I lay in my bed every night
fantasizing about what it would be like to have sex with you." he said
softly.

"And how did the reality stand up to the fantasy?" I asked.

"The reality is way beyond anything I fantasized." he smiled shyly at me.

"For me, too." I said.

"You're kidding me, right? You've had sex with other guys, I can't be
anywhere near as good. I don't even really know what I'm doing." he said
quietly.

"Bullshit! You are way better than any guy I've ever been to bed with!
First of all, I have never, ever had a guy get me off by just fucking me
and you've just done it twice! Second of all, I didn't love any of them. I
love you. This wasn't sex, Jeff. I was making love to you and you are the
only man that I have ever made love to." I swore to him.

"And I was making love to you, Davy. I never went to bed with anybody else
because I didn't want to be with anybody else. I understand why you did. I
don't hold that against you. We each tried to deal with our feelings for
each other in our own way." Jeff said.

"But that's over now. I know you love me and you know I love you and
nothing is going to keep us apart. Well...except for the Marine Corps." I
said.

"What about the Marine Corps? Are you going back?" he said, his face full
of pain.

"Jeff, I have to. I have no choice. If I don't go back they'll come here
and take me back! But it will be to the federal penitentiary - not Camp
Pendleton. I'm gonna have to go back and find a way out of my current
enlistment. You've got to understand! There's nothing else I can do!" I
said.

"Couldn't you just tell them you're gay?" he asked.

"No. That would cause horrible things to happen. They don't just let you
out because you're gay!  They make you name names of the people that you've
had sex with in the Corps. Everyone you know, every one you serve with is
investigated! I don't have the right to do that to people that care about
me." I said.

"Fuck! I never realized that! What a fucked up system!" he said.

"I couldn't agree more. No, I'm gonna have to find another way out. I'd
like to get an honorable discharge. It can help because then I don't lose
all my benefits." I told him.

"How long do you think it will take?" he asked.

"Well...my current enlistment is over in about a year. That's the most it
can be. I'm hoping I can find a way to make it a lot less." I said.

"A year!" Jeff said dejectedly. "That's a long fucking time! But I guess
it's a lot less than the ten years I've waited already."

"And I've waited." I said. "And this time, we know that we'll be together
and that we love each other. That will help."

"Yeah." he said, pulling me closer and looking deep into my eyes. "That
will help."

And then he kissed me.

If it had been up to us, we probably would have stayed in that bed for the
rest of my leave.  However, there was the problem of the memorial service
for our parents that afternoon. I had brought home my Dress Blues with me
and I got out the iron and ironing board and pressed them so that I would
be a 'spit and polish' Marine for the service. Jeff and I did have the
pleasure of showering together. It was a long, slow intimate shower during
which we each got off in the other's mouth for the first time.

After showering, I went to my old room and got into my uniform. My parents
had never seen me in my Dress Blues, although there was a picture that I
sent them of me in them when I first got out of boot camp that was framed
in the living room. I saw it yesterday when I got in. After I was dressed,
I went downstairs where Jeff was. He was talking on the phone with his back
to me. He was dressed in a dark suit that fit him very well. When he hung
up the phone he turned and looked at me. It was almost funny! His eyes
about bugged out of his head and his jaw literally dropped and his mouth
hung open. I don't know how long he would have stood there staring at me.

"Close you're mouth, you'll have something fly in it." I grinned.

"Oh, my fucking God! Davy, you are incredibly beautiful! Do you know that?"
he breathed.

"In my entire military career, no one has ever said that I was 'beautiful',
trust me! In fact, I don't ever remember that term being used in reference
to me in my entire life." I grinned.

"Then fucking Marines are blind! You are so beautiful that what I want to
do right now is throw you down on the floor and make love to you - uniform
and all!" he said, his eyes full of lust.

"Now, none of that! I don't want my uniform messed up! If you want sex,
it's gotta be naked." I laughed.

"I only wish there was time. But this fucking memorial service is going to
start in half an hour and we have to be there." he said.

"Actually, nothing can start until we get there so, if you want sex now,
we'll just make 'em wait for us." I said.

"I know you're joking." Jeff said.

"No I'm not. I'd much rather teach you a few special talents that I have
than go to this thing." I said.

He walked over and put his arms around me.

"I know." he murmured in my ear as he nibbled on my earlobe, just about
driving me crazy. "I don't want to go either. But we have to."

"Why?" I heard myself whine like I was five years old, realizing that most
of it was being caused by Jeff's fucking tongue driving me crazy by licking
out my ear.

"Because this isn't about us. This is for Mom and Dad's friends who want to
say good-bye.  Okay?" he murmured.

"Okay, as long as you promise me that we get out of there as quickly as
possible and get back here and get naked." I moaned.

"Oh, I promise you that, lover! I certainly promise you that!" he pulled
his tongue out of my ear and pulled his face back until he was looking in
my eyes.

He must have seen the shock there.

"What's the matter, Davy?" he asked, perplexed by my shock.

"You called me 'lover'." I said very quietly.

"Yes. That's what you are, isn't it? My lover?" Jeff asked.

My eyes started welling up with tears.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to hear that word from you!" I said,
nearly losing it.

Jeff reached up and put his hand behind my head, gently pushing it onto his
chest. He stroked my head while he spoke to me and a low and quiet voice.

"You have now idea how long I've wanted to say that to you, Davy. You're
the only man I've ever wanted and the only man I ever will want. I want us
to share our lives together. I want you to belong to me and I want to
belong to you. But I don't know what you want."

"I want the same thing, believe me! It's all I've ever wanted!" I swore to
him.

We clung to each other a while longer and then Jeff let me go. I walked
over to the living room and saw the pictures of my Mom and Dad on their
wedding day, the pictures of Jeff and I growing up and finally the picture
of me in the very same uniform I was wearing now. I wondered how Mom and
Dad would feel about what was happening between Jeff and me. Would they
have understood? I hoped so. They always said that they were so glad that
Jeff and I cared about each other as much as we did. Now tears came to my
eyes as I realized how really selfish I'd been staying away. I loved them,
I did. I just couldn't stand the idea of them being ashamed of me. I
thought they would be if they ever found out that I was gay and in love
with Jeff. Now, I wondered if I'd been wrong all those years? Had I put
myself and them through hell needlessly. I would never know now and for
that, I cried.

I felt strong arms come around me and Jeff holding me as I cried. I looked
up and there were tears running down his face as well. I reached up and
gathered some of the wetness on my finger and stuck my finger in my mouth
tasting the saltiness of his tears.

"I'm really so sorry, Jeff, and I have no way now to ever tell them." I
said through my tears.

"I have to believe that they know, Davy. And I choose to think that they
are happy for us. They are together, they have each other. That's what made
them happy. We're together, we have each other. That's what makes us
happy. I'm sure they would understand that." Jeff said quietly.

"Please tell me you aren't mad at me anymore." I begged him.

"No, Davy. I'm not angry at you. I know you did what you thought was
best. I'm just sorry that it took this kind of tragedy to finally bring you
home. But, at least, we finally found each other and that makes everything
wonderful, no matter what." he said quietly as he stroked my head and
brushed away my tears with his fingers.

We left the house a little while later. The memorial service was held in
the local Episcopal Church which Jeff and I had grown up in. In the ten
years since I'd been home, nothing had changed but the Rector of the church
who was kind enough to do a very nice eulogy without making any reference
to how the deaths had happened. Afterwards, in the parish hall, Jeff and I
stood for about an hour greeting people and taking their condolences.
Finally, I looked pleadingly at Jeff and he quickly announced to everyone
that they were welcome to stay but that he and I were going home and wanted
to spend time alone. Everyone seemed to understand. 'How little they know!'
I thought to myself, 'what that time alone would be used for.' But then,
everyone recovers from grief in their own way. It seemed that Jeff and my
way was in making love to each other. I learned later that this is a very
common reaction to grief. A life affirming act in the face of death. This
didn't surprise me, I'd heard from combat veterans about coming out of a
fire-fight in which comrades were killed and being so horny they could fuck
anything that walked.

When we got home, we immediately went to my room and rapidly undressed each
other. Jeff seemed to really like stripping me out of my Dress Blues and I
just loved stripping him. He took me in his arms as we pressed our naked
bodies together and kissed me deeply. Then he pulled back and looked deep
into my eyes.

"I want you to fuck me." he said softly.

"Are you sure?" I asked, knowing better than he did what he was asking for.

"I'm surer of it than I've been of anything in my life. I want to take you
inside of me. I want you to shoot your load as deep in me as you can. I
want you to mark me as yours." he said.

"You know this is going to hurt at first." I said.

"I know that you'll do everything you can to make it as painless as
possible for me. What pain there is, I can take because I want you so
badly." he said.

"Okay. Trust me, this is something that I want as well." I said and kissed
him.

We went over to the bed.

"How do you want me?" he asked.

"Get on your back for now. We're going to do this my way. My way as long
and slow. By the time I shove my cock up your ass, you aren't going to just
'want' it, you're going to be begging me for it." I said.

He lay down on his back and I got on top of him. I started out by kissing
him deeply to get his blood flowing. I was quite serious about getting him
to beg me for my cock up his butt. I had found that the best way to break
in a virgin was to get them so fucking hot that they would pass right
through any pain that being fucked would cause them. I then started licking
and nibbling on his neck and down to his chest. His muscular pecs were a
joy to run my tongue across. It seemed to be a genetic things with both of
us that neither one of us had any chest hair. In fact the only real 'body'
hair I had was a light 'treasure trail' from my naval to my pubic hair.
Jeff was the same way. His nipples were small but very sensitive. When I
began sucking and chewing on them, Jeff started moaning so loud and his
body arched so far, I thought he was going to buck me off him like a
bronco! I stopped chewing on his nipple and he sank back down on the bed. I
lifted my head and looked at him.

"Never played with your nipples, bro?" I grinned at him.

"Fuck, no! I had no idea they were that sensitive!" he moaned at me.

"Yeah. I always wondered why the fuck guy's had nipples anyway until the
first time somebody chewed on mine." I laughed.

"Do it some more, Davy! Please?!" he begged.

"Oh, I'm gonna do it some more, bro! I'm gonna do lots of things you've
never fuckin' dreamed of!" I grinned and, putting my head down, went back
to sucking on his other tit.

After nibbling on his nip for a few more minutes I reached up an put his
arms above his head telling him to leave them there. He looked at me funny
but complied. I moved up and brought my face right into his pit. I started
to deeply inhale the sweaty musk of him and moaning deep in my throat at
the strong scent of him.

"You like my scent?" I heard Jeff whisper.

I looked up and he saw the lust in my eyes.

"Very much!" I whispered. "I always have. I used to steal your underwear
and your jocks to jack off to while I huffed them." I said.

"You did?!" his eyes opened in surprise.

"Yeah. Your room was always such a mess that you never knew what I took
before I got them back." I smiled. "I even used your cum rag once."

"Oh, fuck!" he moaned. "I wish I'd known! You didn't have one."

"What?!" I said, looking at him in surprise.

"I looked. You didn't have one. What the fuck did you use?" he asked.

"I didn't use anything. I always ate my own cum." I smiled.

"Fuck!" he moaned.

"Did you...did you steal my underwear?" I asked hesitantly.

"Right out of the fucking laundry basket. You're jock was harder but I got
it several times." he grinned.

"Fuck!" I answered, grinning back at him.

I dipped my face down into his pit again only this time my tongue was out
and I began to lick through the soft hairs there, tasting the saltiness of
his sweat and the tang of his musk. Jeff immediately arched his back again
and let out a loud moan.

"Fuck! Davy!" he moaned.

"Feel good, bro?" I asked, raising my face out of his pit again.

"Good! It feels like nothin' I've ever felt in my life! Jesus!" he said.

"You've got a lot of erogenous zone's, bro. If you keep interrupting me
it's gonna take all night to get to all of them and I'm not gonna fuck you
until I do get to all of them." I grinned.

"I'm sorry, Davy. It's just that this is all so new to me." Jeff said.

"I understand, bro. But just enjoy it. Let me take you where you've never
been before." I said.

"I feel like I ought to be doing something for you." he said quietly.

"You are, bro. You're letting me finally explore your body the way I've
always wanted to. You have no idea how I'm getting off on this!" I
explained to him.

"Yeah, bro. I think I do because I'm going to remember everything you do to
me so that I can do it to you." he grinned.

"Anytime you want to, bro, I'll be glad to let you do this to me, but after
I fuck you." I grinned back.

"Okay. Deal." he said and lay his head back down.

I went back to licking his pit before I moved on to the other one. Jeff
kept moaning but let me do what I wanted. I trailed my tongue back down
across his muscular chest and then moved down to attack his abs. He
clenched his muscles and I allowed my tongue to trace all the grooves of
his six pack. I then began licking out his naval before allowing my tongue
to follow his sparse 'treasure trail' down to his soft pubic hair.

The strong smell of male arousal and sweat permeated his crotch and I
breath deeply of it. I was lost in the strong scent of his maleness and my
breathing became faster and faster as I smelled him and my arousal grew. I
began licking his dark bush and soon his crotch was sopping wet with my
saliva. I knew he thought I would start on his cock next, since it had been
bumping my cheeks and face and I had smears of his pre-cum all over me, but
I left his crotch at that point and got off the bed entirely. He looked at
me with puzzlement on his face like, 'Where the fuck are you going?!'  but
I merely headed to the foot of the bed where I grabbed his left foot and
began to lick and suck at his toes.

At first, I thought I was going to have to call the paramedics for him he
was yelling and flopping around on the bed like he was having a seizure! I
don't think in his entire life he'd ever considered the erotic
possibilities of his feet. I licked and sucked all of us toes and then
began licking the sole and instep of his foot. He was still going crazy,
moaning and carrying on like you'd have thought I was killing him. I did
both feet and then started licking up his ankles, his lower legs and
finally the inside of his thighs. Along with licking the inside of his
thighs, I was also nibbling and sucking on the skin there. I would go from
his knee to his crotch on one side and then start back on the knee on the
other side. Finally I made it to his balls.

By this point, his cock was so hard and leaking so much cock-snot that his
abs and crotch were soaked in his tasty honey. I leaned up above his cock
and licked up as much as I could find before laying down on my stomach
between his legs and pressing my nose against his ball-sack. His balls were
drawn up tight to the base of his cock so I didn't try to suck them
individually. I just used my nose first to draw in all the musk and sweat
from them and then began licking his sack and nibbling it with my teeth.
This started more moaning and thrashing from him and I thought to myself,
'God! Jeff is a noisy fucker! We'd better never live in an apartment! The
neighbors will think I'm fuckin' killing him!'. I licked all over his
ball-sack and then started moving down. I licked the back of his balls and
then, pushing his legs farther open, I began to lick at the patch of skin
between his balls and his ass. I could smell the rich, dark scents of his
ass and I knew I was almost to where I'd been heading this whole time. I
grabbed Jeff's thighs and lifted his legs and pushed them back so that his
knees were almost to his chest. I spoke to him for the first time.

"Hold your legs back." I ordered him and he quickly complied with my order.

This brought his butt trench fully into view and the wonderful, deep, rich
aroma of his butt hit my nose for the first time and I was in heaven! How
long I had wanted to put my nose into this crack!  How often had I sniffed
his underwear, smelling the scent of his ass second-hand and wishing I
could smell and taste it first-hand! Now, my time had come. His ass was
mine! And I was going to smell it, lick it, suck it and fuck it until Jeff
knew that his ass was mine as well!

I ran my nose up and down his crack, breathing in the intoxicating aroma of
male ass! There is no other scent in the world like it and no other scent I
loved so much. If somebody could bottle it, I'd gladly pay a thousand
dollars and ounce for it! So dark, so musky, so male! One of my great
delights in the Corps was the scent of Marine butt. God knows, in the last
10 years I'd smelled and eaten and fuck enough of them. People have this
idea that Marines are bottoms because we love to be fucked. What they don't
realize is that we love to fuck as well, we just love to fuck other Marines
most! There is something about eating and fucking the ass of a brother
Marine that is beyond any other sexual activity - except for sucking and
fucking the ass of a man that you love.

I moved my nose up and down Jeff's trench for several minutes until I was
almost hyperventilating. Finally, my tongue demanded equal time. I wanted
to taste the richness of his ass! More importantly, this was all going to
end with my cock unloading up this beautiful butt hole and this was just
the opening operation of what was a longer battle. I began to drag my
tongue through his ass trench, tasting all the sweat and musk that was
there. Not only did Jeff's moans increase in volume, he now became verbal
again.

"Davy! What the fuck are you doing to me, bro! Fuck! You're fuckin' lickin'
my ass! Oh, Fuck!  That feels so good! Don't stop! Please don't stop!!!" he
practically yelled.

Like I was about to stop! 'Dream on, lover! This butt is mine! I've waited
all my fuckin' life to get my tongue up this butt and I'm not about to
stop!' I thought to myself as I continued to lick up and down his butt
crack. My tongue finally came to rest on his puckered hole. I could tell
that he was a virgin because his hole was a tight as a drum. It was not
going to be easy opening this hole up, but it was going to be fun!

I locked my lips around his hole and started gently sucking on it while I
formed my tongue into a spear and began pressing against the opening,
teasing it to open for me. It took some time but finally, the hole began to
soften and my tongue began to slide up Jeff's ass slowly - no more than a
millimeter at a time. Once my tongue had breeched his hole, I began to push
it in and out just like a wet, rough little cock, tongue-fucking him. This
started more and louder moaning from him as his ass slowly gave up the
fight to keep my tongue out. My tongue is a Butt-Bandit First Class, having
opened more virgin Jarhead ass then you can shake a stick at! I knew how to
get a male hole open for the first time and have a previously "I don't get
fucked, I only fuck!" Marine begging to have somebody - anybody! - prong
his ass! That same talent was now at work on Jeff's virgin butt. His
sphincter didn't stand a chance!

I slowly but surely kept fucking my tongue deeper and deeper into Jeff's
butt until I was pushing every bit of tongue I had up his hole. He was
loving it, as I knew he would. It is the rare male that doesn't like to
have his ass licked, sucked and tongue fucked. There are more nerve endings
around the male ass than there are around the head of the male penis. Talk
about 'sensitive'! Even so-called straight guys who will never allow
themselves to be fucked, love to have their butts eaten. If they can find
someone to eat their butts for them. It is the rare female who will do it
for them and the rare male who won't, so many of them end up seeking out
another male to orally service their butts and cock because they can't find
a woman to do it. And when it came to my brother Marines? Well, I was
always willing to help out another grunt! Gay, straight, whatever!  Didn't
matter to me! As long as he had a nice hole with that rich ass scent I
craved, he could sit on my face all night long.

Now that I had Jeff's back-door open for tongue, the next trick was to open
it to my fingers.  That's sometimes more difficult but it wasn't going to
be in this case. I decided to use the oldest trick in the book - tongue and
finger fuck him at the same time. I pulled my tongue a little ways out of
his butt and slid my index finger in alongside. Because my finger was
brushing against my tongue, it got lubed by my saliva on the way in. Then I
started alternating them. Finger in, tongue out. Tongue in, finger out.
Once he was used to this, I then removed my tongue entirely and simply used
my finger in his hole. Knowing that this was going to burn a little, I
grabbed the bottle of lube off the night stand and squeezed a few drops on
his hole and used my finger to press it into his hole, lubing both him and
my finger at the same time. This cut down tremendously on friction and Jeff
could then really enjoy the feelings that my finger were causing up his
hole.

I worked my finger in and out of his butt until his hole was very loose and
accepting of my exploring digit. I added more lube, dribbling it over both
my index and middle finger and began introducing a second finger to his
hole. He grunted a little and his hole resisted at first but, eventually, I
was working two fingers in and out of his hole. I was also able to brush my
finger against his prostate, almost bringing him vertically off the bed!

"What the fuck was that?!" Jeff screamed out.

"That's your prostate, bro. You're 'joy button'. That's the reason that
guys love to get fucked.!"  I said.

"Fuck, I felt like I was gonna cum!" he moaned.

"Wait until my cock is up your hole and rubbing right across it!" I smiled.

"Oh, fuck!" he moaned. "Is that how I got you off fucking you?"

"Sure is! And I believe that turn about is fair play, Big Brother, don't
you?" I grinned at him from between his legs.

"Fuck, yeah!" he grinned back.

I now had my two fingers working very nicely in and out of his hole. His
sphincter was relaxing nicely and I was starting to believe that fucking
him was not going to be a difficult as I had thought. My only regret is
that I didn't have any poppers with me. The fumes from one of those little
brown bottles would have given Jeff a really nice body and head rush while
relaxing the muscles of his ass at the same time. They also relaxed the
muscles of the throat and helped with deep-throating cocks that were larger
than I was used to. But, no sense wishing for what I didn't have. I
concentrated, instead, on working his ass open naturally. Finally, I pulled
the two fingers out of his ass, added lube to his butt and to three of my
fingers and began to work these up his hole.

At first his ass resisted the addition of another finger but I took my
other hand and began to rub and massage around his hole and it finally
relaxed enough to let all three fingers inside. I rested for a few moments
and let his ass get used to this larger intrusion and then began to wiggle
the fingers and open them up to spread his butt even farther. He moaned at
this and I think had come pain until I twisted my fingers so that I could
play with that hard little nut up inside him and then his hole just
magically opened up for me. I slid my three fingers in and out of his hole
for a while, making sure that he was good and open. Once this was
accomplished, there was only one thing left - my cock.

While I was still fucking him with my three fingers, I poured lube down my
cock and lubed it up well. Then I pulled my three fingers out of his ass
and added more lube to it, even pouring some of it into his open hole. I
rose up to my knees and put my cockhead to the opening and rested it
there. Jeff was watching me this whole time and knew it was time for his
first man-fuck. I looked down at him and told him to push down with his
butt muscles like he was trying to take a shit.  This would help to open
him up. I watched as his hole pushed out and I applied pressure with my
cock in the opposite direction and slowly slid into his butt. I got about
an inch past the head when I stopped to let him get used to something going
'in' his ass. I could feel his butt-chute muscles clamp around my dick for
a moment and then relax. I was sure, at that point that he was in no pain.

I pressed on, stopping every few inches until my cock was finally buried in
his ass and my pubic hair was pressed against the outside of his hole. I
looked down at him and he had his eyes shut tight but a look of sheer bliss
on his face.

"I'm all the way in, bro. You okay?" I asked.

"More than okay!" he moaned. "It feels so fucking good!"

"You ain't felt nothin' yet, bro!" I grinned as I began to drag my cock
slowly out of his ass.

He moaned at what he thought was my leaving. I chuckled to myself when,
after extracting about three inches of cock from his butt, I quickly
changed directions and shoved it back in. He grunted as I bottomed out
again but had no time to think about it because I was again withdrawing,
further this time and, again, shoving it faster and harder back in. I soon
had my 'fuck rhythm' going and was withdrawing almost to the head of my
cock before shoving it back into his butt. I began to really pound his
asshole and his moaning got louder and louder. I could tell that he was not
moaning in pain but pleasure, even if he vocally was telling me the same
thing.

"Oh, God! Yeah! Fuck, yeah! Fuck me Davy! Fuck my ass! Fuck me hard, bro!"
he moaned as my cock pistonned in and out of his ass.

I looked down at him and grinned. This felt so good! I had fucked a lot of
ass in my life, but I'd never fucked one that was attached to a guy I
loved. Fucking Jeff was a totally different experience for me. Never before
had I ever been so concerned about making this the fuck of a life-time for
the guy I was fucking. Not that I was a selfish top! I was concerned about
getting the guy I was fucking off, but not like this. This was for life! If
it was up to me, this would be the only butt I would ever fuck again in my
life. I had to make him love my cock inside him. I wanted him to want this
again and again. Actually, I was grateful to all those guys I fucked and
who fucked me who taught me how to be a good fuck. I was using every lesson
I had learned now. And, it appeared that I had learned those lessons well
because without touching his cock, it looked like Jeff was well on his way
to cumming.

I kept looking in his face as my cock smashed into his prostate on each
stroke. What I saw there was not just horniness and passion but wonder and
surprise. Like any guy who's never had a cock being pounded into his ass by
someone who knew how to do it, he was shocked at the pleasure that it was
giving him. Pleasure that can only be experienced through the stimulation
of the entire ass-tunnel by a cock pounding in and out.

"I'm gonna cum! Bro! I'm gonna cum! Fuck!" Jeff shouted at that point and I
watched as his cum began to spray out of his hard cock.

The first shot went over his head and the rest flew out all over his face,
chest and abs. I felt his chute clutching around my cock as I continued to
pound away at his hole. But that was not going to last long at all. My
balls were tingling and just as Jeff's orgasm was starting to fade, I began
shooting my load deep in his bowels.

"Fuck! I'm cummin', bro! I'm cummin' in your ass!" I moaned as my cum came
rifling out of my cock and deep into his ass.

I collapsed on top of Jeff and felt his cum gluing our bodies together. I
began licking up his cum from his neck and up onto his face. He looked at
me and then grabbed my head and pressed his mouth hard against mine,
shoving his tongue in my mouth, tasting his own cum. We kissed for a long
time before Jeff let go of my head.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Jeff panted.

"Tell you what, bro?" I asked confused.

"Tell me how much I would love your cock in my butt!" he grinned.

"Thought it was best if you found that out for yourself." I grinned back.

"I've never felt anything like that before. I didn't know that I would feel
like I was a part of you - or you were a part of me. It was like we were
one, bro!" he said softly.

"Yeah. I'd never felt that until you fucked me." I said.

"I guess you know what this means, don't you?" Jeff said.

"What?" I asked.

"You're gonna have to marry me and make an 'honest man' of me now." he
giggled.

"Bro, I would marry you in a heartbeat if we could." I said, and I meant
it.

"Let's fly to Holland and do it!" he grinned.

"Bro, even in Holland they won't let brothers marry." I informed him.

"Oh, yeah. That problem. I forgot." he grinned.

"But, at least we have the same last name already!" I grinned back at him.

"Yeah! So it's like we're married already!" he said.

I could feel my softened cock slipping from his ass and when it fell out, I
rolled off of him and laid on my side. He moved over and I put my arms
around him. He laid his head on my arm and looked up into my eyes.

"I don't want you to go. I can't be without you for a year. We've already
lost so much time!" he said.

"Bro, I don't want to leave either. But I don't have any choice! I told
you, if I don't go back I can end up in prison." I told him.

"Why can't I come with you?" he said.

"Are you kidding?" I looked at him quizzically.

"No. I'm not kidding. I could rent an apartment near the base." he said.

"Well, that's not necessary. I already have one. But what about your
business? Who's gonna run the gym?" I asked.

"I've got a young guy who's working as my assistant. He's capable of doing
it. I could fly back every few months and make sure everything is okay. It
could work, bro." he said.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Bro, I don't want you ruining what you've worked
so hard to build."

"Davy, there is nothing in my life worth anything to me but you. I've
finally got you in my life the way I've always wanted. I'm not losing
you. Not again!" he said firmly.

"I just don't want you to regret this." I said softly.

"Do you regret this?" he asked.

"The only thing that I regret is that we waited so long." I told him.

"And that is my only regret." he said and lifted his head and kissed me.

As he pulled back from the kiss, my eyes started to fill with tears. I
couldn't help it. I had never been so happy in my entire life. The idea of
sharing my life with Jeff as my lover just overwhelmed me. My tears started
to drip on Jeff's cheek and he looked at me with concern in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. Not a fucking thing! I'm so happy that I can't believe it. I
never expected this. I never expected to come home and find everything that
I ever wanted." I said.

"Well, it's like Dorothy said in the WIZARD OF OZ, bro. 'If I ever go
searching for happiness, I won't look any farther than my own back yard.'"
he grinned.

"Yeah. I guess she was right. 'There's no place like home.'" I smiled back.

The End of MARINE QUANDARY

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