Date: Thu, 1 Aug 2002 18:44:33 EDT
From: Yakovl@aol.com
Subject: Me and My Son PT 2

Part Two Me and My Son....

Again, here was my handsome son I hadn't seen in 4 years.  He was now a
man, and here I am at just 34, his father.

We got his luggage, and headed toward home.  He talked and talked all the
way... He was so bright and animated.  It was like we had known each other
forever. It's also like we were friends, good friends, not father and
son. He asked me tons of questions, about the condo, work, my friends, and
my car; working out...He wanted to know everything.

It was like he was trying to make up for lost time.  He sounded nothing
like the sad kid on the phone the past few months. He looked so happy, and
that made me happy.

I asked him what he wanted to do and he said he didn't care.  I told him I
had to go to the mall as I had to pick up a few things.  He did mention
that he needed some sneakers.  I told him that it would give me great
pleasure to buy him a pair of sneakers.  He told me his Mother warned him
that I would probably try to spoil him, and buy him everything he asked
for.  Jake looked at me with those big brown eyes, (my eyes), and said,
"All I want to do is spend time with you and get to know you; I don't want
or need anything else from you.  Are you ok with that?"  I melted...

This feeling I had for Jake was amazing.  I was so proud of him, actually
in awe of him.

We went to the shoe store and he picked out some sneakers to try on.  This
kid had size 11 1/2 feet.  He was huge.  I made a joke to him about you
know, big feet, big...you know, just like that, he looked at me and was
lost, didn't know what I was talking about, he asked me what I meant by
that...

I said, "Are you serious?"

He said, "Yes". (Total innocence in his eyes)

I said, "Come on Jake, you never heard that before?"

He said, "No please tell me..." (He was so sincere.).

And I told him that rumor says that men who have big feet have a large
penis.  He turned red and got really uncomfortable, and I told him I was
sorry to have embarrassed him.

He just stared at the ground, and said, said "Its ok, it's just that no one
ever talks to me like that, you know, so freely."

I asked him about his friends, and he said most of the guys back home are
really immature and that he isn't interested in them really. I also said
what about the girls?  You are so handsome and grown up, surely you must
have girls who are after you?

He turned purple, and said, "I don't know anything about that...I am sorry
to disappoint you."

At this point I decided the best thing to do was pay for the sneakers and
get out of there.  I really screwed things up and we hadn't even gotten
home yet.

Back in the car, during the drive to my condo, we both were really quiet.

I was thinking that maybe Jake had some questions about life.  Maybe his
Mother never told him anything about sex...  I suspected this was the
reason she was so willing for him to come to visit me.  Well, this is what
a father is for, right??

I pulled over to the side of the road and turned to him, and said, "Jake,
look at me... (He was so shy at this point and could barely look at me in
the eye.)  I know we don't really know each other, but I want to get to
know you, more than you know, and I will NEVER be disappointed in you, you
are so handsome, and you are my son, OK, NEVER be embarrassed in front of
me, I just want you to be yourself, and whoever that is, is just fine with
me.  You can tell me or ask me anything.  OK?"

He then, started to cry, and just said, "OK".

Apparently, this was a very emotional experience for him, and my son Jake
was a very sensitive kid.

We hugged again, and he held me for a long time.  This was really emotional
for us both.  I felt his tears on my face.  My heart was bleeding for him.
I loved him so much.

He finally let me go and asked how much longer it was to the Condo because
he really had to pee... I started laughing, and off we went.

I live in NYC and have a one-bedroom apartment.  Since I don't have a
guestroom, Jake would be sleeping in the living room on the pull out couch.
He thought it was "AWESOME" as he could watch TV in bed, I also have video
games, DVD, CD, etc.... He was in techno-heaven.

We were up late that first night, we were watching a ballgame that was into
extra innings, and it was well after 11.  I realized that maybe he wanted
to go to bed since we were watching the TV in "his" room. It was a really
long day for both of us, so I asked him if he wanted to go to bed.

He looked at me and said, "I kind of was hoping this day didn't end,
because I am having so much fun."

I told him that I was too.  I really was, but reminded him that it was late
and that if he wanted to he could sleep.  Did I just sound like a Father?
I didn't want to tire him out on the first night.  I also mentioned that he
was on vacation and he could stay up as late as he wanted.  He told me that
he NEVER gets to stay up as late, even on the weekends.  He said that his
Mother has a lot of rules and you have to obey them. I again reminded him
that he was on vacation, and on vacation, the only rule was to have fun.

His reply was a huge smile, and "AWESOME!"

Jake was so well behaved, so prim and proper.  In the few hours that he was
here, I noticed that he had loosened up a bit, but he was still in the same
clothes, and even had his shoes on.  Not wanting him to be uncomfortable, I
let it go for now.

Finally the game was over, and it was time for bed.  I helped him pull out
the couch, and make the bed.  I then left him to get changed for bed.

I am not used to having someone sleep over, when I was involved with
someone; I mostly stayed at her place.  I don't know why, but I really
didn't feel comfortable having people over.  It's weird, but with Jake
here, I felt totally ok.  It was like he was here all the time.

Living alone allowed me the freedom to be naked whenever I wanted.  I sleep
naked and walk naked to the bathroom...I shower with the bathroom door
open, I even get up in the middle of the night to get a drink from the
kitchen while I am naked. I mean why not it's just me...

I get so horny at night, usually after the gym.  I love to masturbate,
nothing's better after a heavy workout. Getting all sweaty and making
myself shoot a good load of cum.  Hey that's me...I never even close my
bedroom door when I sleep.  Most of the time I lay on top of my bed after
j/o and set the timer on the TV, and just wake up with the alarm.

If I had a buddy over, I wouldn't have given it a thought.  Most of my
friends are cool with their bodies and we saw each other naked at the gym.

But with Jake here, I knew I had to be respectful.  I know I told him to be
comfortable and to be himself, and it would be hypocritical of me not to
be, especially in my own home, so I made a compromise.  I put on some
boxers and went to check on him.

The living room doesn't have a door, and I suppose I should have announced
that I was coming, but I just walked in on him and asked if he needed
anything.  He was just pulling up the bottoms of his pajamas.  YES,
pajamas.  Do people still wear pajamas? I know that some people wear
bottoms or something, but he was wearing a matching set.  He looked like a
child.  Not the strapping teenager that he was.  He even still had his
socks on.  There I was in just my boxers...

He just stood there staring at me, for what seemed like a long time.  It
was only a few seconds. I think he was admiring my body, not sure, but
that's what it seemed like. I am 34, and really take pride in my body. I
never have a problem with anyone seeing me.
 I am quite comfortable the way I look...  I'm just one of those single
guys that would prefer to be in Jeans and T, barefoot...although I am
usually in a suit.  You get the picture.

I asked him, "You OK? You need anything?"

He again got all shy and told me he was all set, it was as if he couldn't
look at me anymore, I asked him if he was ok, and he said yes he was fine
and that he was more tired than he thought.

I know I should have just kept quiet, but I asked him if he always slept
like that, and he told me that he did.

He got all-insecure and asked, "Is it OK, Do you always slept like that?"

He was still not able to look at me, and now I was getting uncomfortable.
I told him he could sleep any way he liked.

I said, "Its summer, and maybe you would be cooler with less on, I find it
hard to sleep with too much on, as a matter of fact I never sleep with
anything on."

(As soon as I said it, I knew I should have shut up, I had to keep
reminding myself that I was talking to my son, not a buddy...)

He said, "No really I am fine, OK?"  I wished him good night and reminded
him that he could leave the TV on if he wanted.

I said good night and turned away.  What was I doing to make him so
nervous?  Maybe I needed to have a talk with him in the morning.  I wanted
him to be comfortable here.

I turned around and went and I went back to his room and almost bumped into
him as he was heading to brush his teeth.

I said "Listen Jake, I have to tell you something, I know we were not
together while you were growing up, and we are really just starting to know
each other, but it seems that when I bring something up, you get all
embarrassed and somewhat defensive, but please, it's just that I don't
really know you, and I want to know you.  I would never criticize or
belittle you, for anything.  OK?  If you feel uncomfortable about anything,
you have to tell me, I want to help in any way I can, and most important I
want you to be happy.  Now, get in there and brush your teeth, and get some
sleep.  But first, give me a hug."

He then looked up at me and again said, "Thanks, I had no idea you were so
cool."

I told him, "Not bad for a Dad huh? Come on and give me a hug goodnight. "

He tentatively, came closer.  I grabbed him and hugged him really close.
He was so big and strong, not a boy at all. It seemed he didn't know where
to put his hands, considering I was still in my boxers.  I thought it was
strange.  We were both guys.  I kissed him on the head, wished him a
peaceful sleep, and let him go.

WOW, what a day!  I was in my condo with my teenage son.  He was a
beautiful, well-behaved kid. His mother did a very good job of bringing him
up.  He was so polite and well mannered.  I was so amazed that this person,
sleeping just down the hall from me, was my flesh and blood.

Back in my bedroom, I stared at myself in the mirror for a few minutes, and
thought about Jake and me. I had spent so much time by myself, only
thinking of me.  Would I be able to care for someone else, would I be able
to be what he wanted me to be?  What did he think of me?  Was I just a
stranger to him? Was I starting to have regrets that I should have stayed
with him while he was growing up?

Maybe it was because he lived with all women, but he seemed to get really
nervous when he saw me in my boxers.  He seemed uncomfortable with me being
almost naked.  Hadn't he seen another man's body before?  I was so
comfortable being myself. Did I have to cover up around him?  Did he feel
insignificant around me because I was proud of my body and I liked to be
free in my own home?  I told him to just be himself, to not let anything
bother him.  Wouldn't I have been a hypocrite if I didn't take my own
advice?

Maybe a week with me was just what he needed. Already, I was counting the
days until he left, and we hadn't finished one day.  Maybe I could teach
him to loosen up.  All I wanted was for him to be proud of how handsome and
beautiful he was.

Maybe, just maybe, after a few days with me, he would learn what it's like
to be a man.

I was tired, more tired than I realized.  This parental stuff was draining.
I smiled to myself; I wouldn't want it any other way.

I took off my boxers, and got into bed, and for the first time in a really
long time, I felt almost complete.

Thanks for reading this.  There's so much more to tell.  Are you
interested?  Let me know, drop me an email, Yakovl@aol.com