This document contains fictional adult erotic material involving sexual acts between two imaginary brothers and their father. Any resemblance, real or imaginary, to anyone in the "real world", is purely coincidental. For the purposes of this disclaimer, "[the] real world", "[the] Real World", "[in] real life", "[In] Real Life", "IRL", "Reality" or "reality" shall henceforth be defined as "the world or state of things as they actually exist".

If you are under 18 (in some countries or regions 21) years of age and/or if it is illegal to view erotic material of this nature in your locale, please close and discard this document immediately. The author cannot and shall not be held accountable for your actions. The author is governed and protected by the First Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America, under which, the author enjoys protection of free speech and the rights of artists to be heard and protected, even if what they say may be controversial or offensive to some.

By continuing, the reader attests that:

Furthermore, the author attests that:

This story was born of deep desire and fantasy on the part of the author at a very young age, to actually be the youngest participant described in this story, and is cathartic and therapeutic in nature. The story is written in part, to invoke intellectual thought and provide insight into a part of the psyche which is often lost because individuals are often terrified at the rebuke, misunderstanding, hate, violence and even legal action which might be taken against them should they admit to these desires within themselves.

The author additionally hopes to inspire change in the way society approaches individual differences, even though they may be taboo, in the hopes of changing the way that we as a society approach individual needs; helping to improve understanding of the psyche and individual development; and preventing the action upon these desires which could harm others, particularly the most vulnerable.

The author believes that it is possible for someone that has desires deemed socially taboo or even illegal, to be able to find therapeutic outlets which can help them maintain control and prevent acting on these desires. The author also believes that the most dangerous state is the status quo, where individuals are forced to keep these desires, thoughts, and feelings locked inside, in the dark, where they cause pain, fester, and magnify. Finally, it is the author's belief that being forced to remain hidden, secretive, unable to talk about, share, relate to others or be related to -- ultimately the inability to find commonality and acceptance -- is the most likely scenario which leads to opportunities and decisions to act on those desires.

If this bothers you; if you are offended, disgusted, enraged; if you refuse to engage in academic thought; investigate the reality that these feelings exist, often from a very young age; consider that society does more harm than good by ignoring them, pretending they don't exist and imposing unspoken rules or even explicit laws regarding discussion -- kindly, Fuck Off!

A Note to the Reader:

Hello Dear Reader,

This is the last chapter of Molested by My Baby Brother. And, you will find basically no sex in this chapter (a forewarning for those that only read for the sex). Much of this chapter flowed relatively easily for me, but there were a couple of snags, largely, the appropriate teasers for a sequel, and exactly where to end this story. I must admit that it happened a bit on its own, as I stopped writing for the night, and decided that it was actually the perfect breaking point. I wrote Molested by My Baby Brother as a (mostly) complete novel before publishing it here, it was really only my dissatisfaction with the way I had originally ended it, and I realized fairly quickly that I wasn't done with their story... By that time I knew that I would need to write a second novel, and perhaps even a third to tell the entire story of Joshy, Scotty and their Dad, Teddy...Enter Uncle Cody. I don't know yet, if anyone else will enter. I have a feeling that there will be additional characters, but... the process has not yet begun. Unfortunately, as I am a bit of a perfectionist... it will likely not be a speedy process, but there will be a sequel to this tale, Molested by My Nephews. It's a working title, however, I think that it "works" lol, so I don't anticipate changing it. As a reminder, it took me a year to write Molested by My Baby Brother, so it will likely take me some time before it is well enough formed to begin posting... but when it is, I will post it.

I truly hope that you have enjoyed the story. I hope that the narratives and dialogues -- the detailed instructions about how to protect their relationship didn't detract from the story for you. I felt it imperative to the characters and how they communicate with each other openly and honestly, that the dialogue, though a bit tedious at times, I imagine, be present. An important part of the catharsis for me is this loving, "normal" relationship, demonstrating how open and non-judgemental the home environment is. Also important to me is the complete and utter willingness on the part of the boys, to participate in this behaviour, and the absolute absence of any kind of fear-based coercion, or mistreatment. It is critical to ensure that the boys make their own decisions and also understand how important it is that in all of their relationships, consent and mutual interest is critical.

Should you like to contact me, please feel free to do so at (b0yl0v3rn4) (at) (tutanota) (dot) (com)

I want to thank those of you who reached out to me to let me know how you were enjoying the story. It was absolutely wonderful to hear your reactions to the story. Many of you were very flattering and very sweet and I appreciate that very much. Sometimes I think that my use of alliteration and lots of different synonyms/slang for body parts, etc. is a "bit much", but it makes me giggle and I hope it does the same to you (or better lol). I enjoy hearing from you guys. :-) As I mentioned in a previous note, I really love to make people feel good. I envision myself in many of these roles, as the little slut that I always wanted to be, but never really got the chance. lol. So, when I hear that my story caused a very 'hard problem' for you as you read it, or how you just had to beat the drumstick... well, it just makes me feel all tingly inside lol. So, thank you for sharing that with me. I hope that you have enjoyed the book. And, I promise that as soon as I can manage to put together enough framework that I am ready to start pushing the polished chapters out to Nifty, I will do so. I welcome your emails and as those of you that have written know, I will always respond. There is only one (a response which got bounced) that I wasn't able to answer. I do only email. Social media apps are not secure, and requests to chat via other mechanisms like snapchat or anything else will be denied. That is for your protection as much as mine.

I wish I had found Nifty years ago. I only found it recently and it has truly been life changing. There are some incredible artists sharing their work. And let's face it, in addition to beautiful stories, there is some pretty fucking hot erotica. Way better than a lot of the porn out there! That being said...

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Hugs,
b0yl0v3rn4

Chapter Eleven: The First Day of the Rest of Their Lives

The next morning Teddy awoke, not with a shock, in a cold sweat with tears running down his face; instead, he was gently pulled from his slumber by the searing hot little boy flesh around which he was wrapped. The night had not been fitful filled with terror and anguish like so many of the nights since Cassie died. From that night, nightmares, perhaps night terrors, had dominated his every night. He would sometimes wake up two or three times in a single night, tears streaming down his face, ripped from sleep by images of Cassie or fears of trying and failing to raise the boys without her. His bed, once theirs, soaking wet, the lonely man chilled to the bone by the cold sweat and the wet sheets clinging to his body. What a difference a day makes! For the first time since he lost Cassie, Teddy didn’t have nightmares. He didn’t wake up in a cold sweat with tears running down his face. He felt content; he felt loved. He snuggled into Joshy, pulling his two boys in closer, his left arm bending forward to hug his boys tightly, his right draped down over both of them. His big hand resting on Joshy’s arm, he pressed the smallest of them into the teen’s body more, at the same time pulling the teen closer yet to his own body. It just felt wonderful to hold his boys again.

Teddy’s sadness and fear had forced him to pull away from his boys. He hadn’t meant to. He was focused on making up for the lost income, and he was trying to numb the pain. He didn’t mean to leave Joshy to his own devices, taking care of himself and his little brother. He was just broken. For the second time, he had lost the love of his life. Cassie was gone; there was no way he could get her back. The same was not true, however, of his first love. Not unlike his two sweet little cherubic boys, Teddy had been deeply in love with his little brother as well. Dakota (though everyone called him Cody) he been born only a few years after Teddy. As a boy, Teddy loved his little brother much like Joshy loved Scotty. They were a bit closer in age, and so it was easier for the boys to interact and be children together. But they had experienced their share of hardship as well. The boys’ grandfather, Teddy’s dad, Gerald, wasn’t a bad man; in fact, he was very loving and kind and soft-spoken. He loved his boys very much. But, he had one major flaw; he couldn’t stand up to his own father, Jeremiah -- not even to protect his own boys.

As Teddy laid there, his mind spinning, he thought of the previous night’s conversation about hurricane brain. He smiled to himself at the thought. But his own brain was at it again. His mind was swirling all around, digging through its archives scouring the file cabinets for the most obscure of references -- those he had worked so hard to bury deep. What was causing this hurricane brain? As he held his boys tightly, trying to calm the storm in his mind, he tried to focus. It was something that he and Cassie had learned as a coping mechanism, and they would often help each other to focus and to concentrate on finding the cause of the hurricane. When one was lost in hurricane brain, the other would come to their rescue, helping them to focus in on the most pronounced thoughts and feelings, connecting to what was going on in that moment. “What one word comes to your mind when you focus?” one would ask the other adding, “Calm the storm. Focus in on the eye of the storm. Use it to see through to the answer.” Teddy fought to focus, to find the one word that could end the hurricane in his brain. One word came to his mind. Cody. Immediately Teddy knew what had caused this bout of hurricane brain. He missed Cody more than ever. He had missed Cody for years; he missed what they had together, how close they were. But he had Cassie, and then Joshy, and then Scotty… Through it all, however, Cody was never far from Teddy’s conscious thought. Teddy realized that he had been thinking a lot more about Cody since Cassie died. And with the activities and revelations of the previous day, his heart was freshly torn asunder; the wounds in his heart, once scarred over, freshly anew. It was time. Whether Cody liked it or not, Teddy was going to confront him again, and this time, he wouldn’t take “No” for an answer.

“Daddy. Yoe sqweezing me too tight!”

A small voice suddenly squeaked out. Joshy’s arm immediately pushed back against Daddy’s arm making space for the little tyke to breathe and to move.

“I’m so sorry, Munchkin!” Daddy exclaimed as he humped into the teen’s hot, naked buns. “I was just waking up and it just felt so good to have my two boys snuggled up against me, I just wanted you as close as I could get you.”

He chuckled as Joshy ground his tight little teen tuchus back against Daddy’s engorged member.

“I’d think you were properly worn out and torn asunder after takin’ that monster up that tight little bum twice yesterday,” he whispered into Joshy’s ear so quietly Joshy had to strain to hear.

The teen knew the comment was meant as a tease for him, and that Daddy didn’t want to get his youngest all riled up. Joshy pushed back until Daddy’s hot rod was deep inside his cheeks, smack up tight against his hot hiney hole, and then squeezed his tight teen buns together as hard as he could. He was pretty sure Daddy would just grin and bear it to avoid awakening the tiny monster in bed with them -- and he was right. Daddy groaned quietly, but leaned forward and nibbled on Joshy’s ear. The teen gasped, not expecting his ear to be bear food. Joshy gave Daddy a warning squeeze again, and then leaned forward and nibbled Scotty’s ear. The little cub growled and pounced out from under the covers and attacked both Daddy and Joshy.

“Uncle, Uncle!” Daddy cried, laughing.

Everyone was wide awake now and the snuggle moment had passed. The three men roused and started to move around the house. As the boys headed into the kitchen for breakfast, Teddy decided it would be a good time to begin discussing some ground rules for the house based on the previous days’ developments.

“Boys,” Daddy began, “I’d like to make a request that we wear clothes in the kitchen and dining room. What I mean is, if we’re working in the kitchen, getting a meal ready or in the dining room eating a meal, I’d like for us to wear clothes. If it’s first thing in the morning and you’re getting ready for school, I’m ok with underwear and T-shirt, or even just underwear, but for other times, I’d like at least shorts and a T-shirt. How do you feel about that? Would you guys mind that too much?”

“Okay Daddy.”

“That’s fair Daddy. And it will protect us from burning our penis or something too.”

“Ow! Yeah! Dat wood be bad!” the youngest giggled.

“Ok, how’s about you two go get some clothes on, and we’ll get some breakfast made?”

“Okay Daddy!” the two boys chorused.

Daddy pulled on some shorts and a T-shirt while his two boys scurried off to their room to do the same. The three met back up in the kitchen.

“What shall we make for breakfast, boys?”

“Fwench toast and eggs and tuwkey bacon!”

“French toast, eggs and turkey bacon it is.”

Joshy began setting everything up and Daddy helped Scotty crack the eggs and mix in cinnamon, sugar and milk. The three worked together side-by-side in the kitchen, smoothly moving around each other as if they had been doing it every day for years. Joshy was surprised that Daddy was in the kitchen helping cook, but he was really glad to see Daddy up and around more with them. Daddy had been distant, struggling with the loss of his wife and partner, spiraling in sadness and unsure of himself and his ability to raise his two boys without her. It really had been stressful for the boys seeing their father that way, because it was so unlike him. Teddy had no reason to doubt his ability. Clearly, he failed to consider how much time he spent with the boys, playing with them, wrestling around on the floor, and bathing them. Joshy loved bath time more than anything else, and in turn he had spent so much time in the bath with Scotty just like Daddy had with him.

Perhaps Daddy was just missing the closeness he had with the boys as they got older and he let Joshy take over bath time with Scotty. He had been so involved in everything they did, spending time with his boys and with Cassie. He was an excellent father. He set boundaries and held to them, but he was loving and gentle, and rarely had to punish the boys for anything. For the past few months however, he had just seemed lost, like a zombie going through the motions. He always answered the boys when they talked to him, and he still did some of the things he had always done to take care of them, but his eyes looked empty and hollow, his skin seemed a bit grey and he felt cold and vacant. But now, it was as if he were found once again. His eyes no longer seemed hollow, but had their twinkle back. He was warm and loving again, he laughed and smiled a lot more and even his complexion seemed more normal, there was color in his face again. Breakfast was ready and the three sat down to eat.

“My sexy little angels,” Daddy said as he took a moment and just looked at his little boys across the table. “I love you boys so much!”

“We love/wuv you too Daddy!” the boys replied in near unison.

“Boys, how are you feeling today? Is anything hurting? Are your sweet little bums doing ok? Any pain?”

“I feew good Daddy. When I move my butt I get tingwes again. It feews good.”

Teddy chuckled.

“What about you Joshy? You were a virgin yesterday. How are you feeling today? Does anything hurt?”

“No Daddy. I’m fine. It actually feels good. I mean, I guess my butt hole is a little tender, but, it feels ok. I feel a bit empty, but nothing is hurting.”

“That’s good. I’m glad. I need you boys to tell me right away if anything should start to hurt, or if you see any blood ok?”

“Okay Daddy,” the boys again replied in unison.

“How are you feeling about what we did yesterday boys? Are you glad we did it? Are you regretting it or wishing that we didn’t do it?”

“I’m gwad we did it Daddy! It was awesome!”

“Of course I don’t regret it Daddy. It felt so good and I love you so much, just like I love Scotty so much. And Daddy, you already look a lot better. You may not realize it, but you look and sound happier. You’re way different than you have been for months now.”

“Yeah Daddy. Yoe smiwing and waffing a wot more!”

“I know boys. I know. I’m so sorry…” Teddy started to tear up. “I’ve missed your mother so much. And I just wasn’t sure that I could take care of you without her. I was so afraid that I couldn’t raise you alone.”

“Daddy. You were being silly. You are the best Daddy ever.”

“Yeah! Siwwy Daddy! You awe da best Daddy evew!”

“You are the best boys ever.”

“We mean it Daddy. You always played with us and took care of us. Bath time was just amazing. I loved the way you just stayed in the bath with me and didn’t rush me to get out. You rubbed my skin all over. It was my favorite thing. I loved when you and Scotty and me got into the bath together. I wished you never stopped. Of course, I love bathing Scotty and I love being in the bath with him too. And I do the same thing with him that you did with us. I rub him all over and play with him, sometimes we just lay in the water and relax and I rub my hands all over him. That was all you Daddy. You always loved us lots and we always knew it.”

Tears slowly ran down Teddy’s face.

“I know you miss Mommy. We all do. We didn’t know how to help you. It hurt us to see you hurting, but we didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t until you got a boner when I was leaning on you trying to help you feel better that I knew what we needed to do. You needed more love. We needed it to. You’re not the only one that looks happier. Scotty is happier too, Daddy. I noticed yesterday after we made love that he looked happier. He was running around and laughing more, smiling more, and goofing off and playing more. The fact that you started feeling better made him feel better and I noticed it immediately.”

“My god son. You are just such an amazing boy. You both are. I can’t believe how observant and perceptive you are. I can’t believe that you have been able to tell a difference in Scotty and me so quickly.”

“We have both been worried about you Daddy.”

“I know Joshy. I’m so sorry boys. I know that you miss Mommy and that you needed me to be present. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t get it together.”

“It’s ok Daddy. You miss Mommy and wewe twying to take cawe of us.”

Teddy got up and walked around the table. He leaned down and hugged his boys tightly, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

“I love you boys so much! I just can’t tell you how much I love you and I am so sorry I haven’t been present for you. I promise I’m going to do better.”

“It’s ok Daddy. We know it’s been hard. We just need to keep talking and loving each other. Are you okay with what we did Daddy?”

“Yes. I am certainly happy that we did it. I love you boys more than anything in the world. I believe that showing love physically is a beautiful thing. We do need to talk about a few things. First of all, Joshy, I know how much you love Scotty and how much Scotty loves you. Are you sure you want to open that relationship up and bring me into it as well? You have a very special relationship, and I don’t want to do anything to damage that relationship.”

“Thanks Daddy. But I think we both have enough love to share with you too.”

“Yeah Daddy. We have pwenty of wuv foe you too!”

“You boys are just such wonderful boys. You are the best boys in the world!”

Teddy gave the boys one more squeeze and then went back to his chair.

“So, guys, we need to talk about a few things, and I think we need to set a few ground rules as well, just to be sure we’re all on the same page. We talked about wearing clothes in the kitchen and dining room. Any other time, it’s ok if you don’t want to wear clothes as long as we don’t have company, and aren’t expecting company. And, it’s probably a good idea to keep some clothes in the living room that you can slip on quickly in case someone stops by unexpectedly. I don’t want anyone answering the door without clothes on.”

“An’ Daddy? We don’t go wifout cwoze unwess we wash ouw bum to make suwah we don’t get poo on da fuwnituwe. An’ Daddy? If we have cum in ouw bums, den we need to put a towel down undew us.”

“I should have known you already had a set of ground rules, huh Joshy?” Daddy smiled.

“Just a few and it was more to keep you and mom from catching us, more than anything,” he giggled.

“Well, here’s a ground rule I bet you don’t have yet. Both of you can sleep with me any time you want.”

“Weewy Daddy?”

“Yep, really. If you want to sleep with me, just come on into my room. You can come in any time. I don’t want to disrupt anything, so of course you don’t have to. I know the two of you have been sleeping together for a long time now.”

“I think it will be great to sleep with you Daddy. You hold me and I’ll hold Scotty.”

“Yep! Or, you can hold me and I can hold Scotty. Or, you and I can lay face to face with Scotty in the middle,” Daddy smiled. “There is no set way that we have to sleep. We can change it up any time we want. Whatever you want to do is fine with me. And if you want to sleep in your own room, that’s fine with me too. I just want both of you to know that you are welcome in my bed any time you want. I love how the two of you have been so close ever since Scotty was born. Joshy, I love how you have just jumped in and loved your little brother and always put him first and treated him so well, and I hope that you two never lose that. I’m so glad you cuddle up every night, though I’m not sure why we bought a bunk bed!” he laughed. “Since you didn’t cuddle up with Mommy and me, Scotty, I’m glad that your big brother was there cuddling you up. I have missed cuddling my little boys, though, so if you want to sleep with me, we can cuddle some more. The most important thing is that I don’t want to disrupt anything, and I don’t want you to just change because of me. You boys have been doing wonderfully, and I want you to do whatever makes you happy, because I want you to continue to do well.”

“Ok Daddy. I liked sleeping with you. It felt really good to be sandwiched between you and Scotty,” Joshy giggled.

“Hey I want to be samwiched in da middwe!”

“Okay Scotty, you can be in the middle tonight.”

Teddy chuckled again at the exchange between his boys. He realized that he really was laughing more. All of this was really tickling him, though, at the same time, he felt a pang. He was missing Cody and it was on his mind constantly.

“Ok boys. So, I want to talk about touching and sex. Consent is something that is really important. You must always be certain throughout your life to make sure that you always have consent. If you want to play around with someone, you need to make sure that they also want to play. I want you to know that you both have permissions to touch me any time you want as long as we’re at home alone or somewhere else secluded by ourselves. If I’m not feeling so well or something like that, I might ask you to hold off for a bit. You have the right to say no to anything you don’t like, though, I’m not so sure there’s much that you two little horny devils won’t be liking!” he laughed. “I want you to always remember that no one has the right to do anything to you that you don’t want them to do, and that includes me. In an equal, loving relationship, everyone respects each other and even though one person might want to do something, if another person doesn’t want to do it, that person should respect that the other person doesn’t want to do it. No one should be pushed, coerced or forced to do anything they don’t want to do. I know it’s hard of thinking of a time when you might not want to fool around, since you both seem to be horny all the time,” he laughed again and the boys both laughed as well. “But sometimes another person might just not be in the mood to fool around. They may be too tired or they may not feel well, or they may be sad or angry, and everyone has the right to say no for any reason. It is important that we all respect that.

And, Joshy, I know that you talked to Scotty carefully and often about how important it is to know when he can and can’t talk about certain parts of your lives. We need to have that same talk again. I need you boys to understand, and I need to know that I have done the best I can to prepare you for anything that might happen. I also need to talk to you about other people finding out that we play together. I’m sure I don’t need to say this but, we can’t be too careful. No one outside this family can know that we are playing together sexually. I know that this is scary, but as long as you do what we talk about, we should be fine. Joshy, I know that you understand the implications of anyone finding out that we’ve had sexual contact of any kind. And, I know that you have talked with Scotty about it as well, but it’s such a serious issue that I need to talk to you boys about it too. Scotty, I know that you and Joshy have been playing together for a while now and that he has explained to you what can happen if someone outside of our family finds out about it right?”

“Yeah. Dey can take us away fwom each ovew.”

“That’s right. Some things are less dangerous right now, like you mentioning that your big brother or daddy has a really big penis. It’s normal for younger teenagers to bathe or shower with their little brothers and of course, it’s normal for kids to bathe or shower with their parents too. So, it is likely that you would know that. But, saying anything about how big either of our penises get when they are hard, or talking about them getting hard at all, or some other comment about anything that is not considered normal and appropriate, could raise questions in people’s minds. If that happens, the next thing you know, we’ve got social services visiting, potential police investigations, and once that starts, it’s out of our hands completely. If you are examined by a doctor to determine whether or not you have had sexual contact, they will know that you’ve both had anal intercourse -- that you’ve both been fucked in the bum. Once that has been established medically, they will take you away from me and put you in foster care, probably separating the two of you, and I will go to jail. There is no other possible outcome.

So, it is extremely important that you not talk about having sexual contact, sucking dick, getting fucked, fucking, jerking off, cock size, that your butt feels really good if someone rubs it, tingles… It’s important that you never volunteer any information, particularly sexual information. If you find yourself in a situation where adults are asking you questions about sex, you tell them that you are not allowed to talk about sex with adults. You tell them that you need to call me immediately, and if they refuse, do not say anything else. Pretend you can’t talk. Scotty, if you can’t get to me, try to get to your big brother. If you can’t get to him, the same instructions apply: Pretend you can’t talk. Act like you’re scared of them. Act like you’re afraid they are trying to abuse you. Tell them that your Mommy and Daddy told you that if any adult tries to talk to you about sex that you are to call us right away because adults should not be trying to talk to you about sex.

If they ask you if anyone has touched you inappropriately, like touched your penis or scrotum or your bum, or if anyone has asked you to touch their penis or scrotum or bum or vagina or breasts, tell them no, that no one has ever touched you like that. If they ask if anyone has put anything in your bum, tell them no. If they ask you if anyone has tried to put their penis or scrotum or vagina or breasts in your mouth or tried to put your penis or scrotum or bum in their mouth, or lick them, you tell them no. You can ask them why would someone want to do that saying something like, ‘Eeeeew, why would anyone do that? Gross.’ Tell them they are scaring you and that you want me. Tell them that they need to call me right away because you are scared and you are not supposed to talk about private parts with adults.

You should never be at a doctor’s office for an exam without me present. I will always get off work to make sure I take you to doctors’ appointments. No one at school or anywhere else should try to do any kind of exam on you that involves you taking your pants and shirt off without me present and without my approval. If someone tries to get you to remove your pants and shirt, you tell them that you are to call me immediately, and you tell them that if they don’t let you out of the room and call me right away, that you will dial 9-1-1 from the next phone you see, and tell them that you are being molested by someone at school or where ever it is you are. You tell them that your Mommy and Daddy told you that no one has permission to do any kind of an exam that involves you removing any clothes unless we are present and there is a necessity to do an exam like that. No one has the right to put their hands on your bodies without your permission and in most cases without my permission since I am your parent.

You can start to cry and even scream, and especially if they try to take your clothes off themselves, you fight, bite, kick and scream. You kick for their penis or vagina, you kick and punch for their throat, you shove your thumbs or fingers in their eyes as hard as you can, and then you get out of that room as quickly as you can and run. Run as fast as you can until you get away from them. You find a store and go in and ask to use their phone to call you Daddy. You tell them someone tried to hurt you and you need your Daddy right away. I know that this is all scary and not fun topics, but it’s important that we talk about it and that you understand. Do you have any questions about what I have said so far?”

“No Daddy. I undewstand,” Scotty replied quietly.

“We know Daddy. Not everyone loves each other like we do. So, we have to protect ourselves because people that don’t love each other like we do, will try to interfere with our lives because they think they know what’s best for everyone else.”

“That’s exactly right. Any time you have questions or are worried about something, I want you to come talk to me, always.”

He smiled warmly at the boys.

“So, when we are in public, around other people, we will need to make sure that we observe the social norms. That means that we kiss each other on the cheeks or just a peck on the lips in public, that means no tongue,” he chuckled and the boys giggled. “And most of the time, we don’t touch each other’s penis or butt in public over clothes or under clothes. I may pick you up or help you up on the playground and put my hand on your butt to help stabilize you for example, and Joshy can do the same thing. If you are falling behind when we are walking around a crowd, you can grab onto my back pockets or something like that to make sure you don’t lose me. Things like that are ok; it’s normal to need to do that. You can both hold my hands if you want. You can hold each other’s hands. Joshy can carry you Scotty, and I can carry you as well. Joshy is getting too old to be carried in public, and a little too big to be carried in most cases anyway.”

Teddy smiled and winked at Joshy and chuckled.

“Both of you can hug me; you can hug on me; you can lean on me all you want. You can put your arms around me and if you want, I can also put my arms around you if you want whether we are sitting or walking. If you want, I can also do embarrassing things like giving you the fast, noisy kisses that make you guys giggle hysterically. Those kinds of things are ok. Usually when boys get to be teenagers, they really don’t like that anymore, at least in public, however, if you are ok with it, it is acceptable, and you can just act like you are too old for that and pretend to be embarrassed. Most people will think it’s funny that I embarrass you like that and also that it is really sweet that we are that close. Most importantly, you guys can talk to me about any of this, any time. You can talk to me about anything you want to talk about, any time. I hope you guys know that. I know that especially when kids hit their teenage years, parents don’t know anything, and a lot of teens don’t want to talk to their parents about stuff, especially sex and stuff like that. I hope that will be different for you guys. I hope that you always feel comfortable talking with me about anything and everything. You boys are my life. I know that things have been rough and strained a bit since we lost Mommy.”

Teddy began to get choked up again, but tried really hard not to lose composure as it had upset Scotty so much.

“I’m really sorry about that, boys. You showed me yesterday how mature you are; how well-adjusted you are; and how truly and absolutely special you are. My god I just love you boys so much. I tried to hide as much of my grief and pain as I could from you boys. I tried to put on a ‘brave face’ and tried to be strong for you, because I thought that was what you needed. I am so proud of Joshy for talking through everything with you Scotty. And I am so thankful that he had the smarts to do that. Your brother is a really smart cookie, Scotty. I am so thankful that you had him to hold on to and to talk to about everything. I’m also really glad that you had Scotty, Joshy, because clearly, Scotty also helped you to work through your feelings. I want you both to know that the ‘brave face’ is over. I’m going to talk to you guys more about everything.

I’m going to talk to you guys about how I’m feeling, and about how much I miss Mommy, because I do miss Mommy. I miss her terribly. But you know what? Every day when I get up, and when I come home, and I see you boys, I see Mommy. You both look like Mommy. And you both learned so much from Mommy. You both act like Mommy. You are loving and sweet and caring and smart and generous just like Mommy. You boys are the best things that your Mommy and I have, or will ever have created, and I am so proud of both of you. I couldn’t have had better sons if I had been able to pick them from catalogs, being able to pick what kind of personalities they would have and everything. You are my perfect boys. I want to help you remember Mommy, and I want you to help me remember Mommy; Mommy is a big reason we all are who we are.

We know that different people have different expectations and we just need to protect ourselves from other peoples’ expectations. We are a family that loves each other very much and we take care of each other and watch out for each other as well as other people. We try to make sure that everyone is treated kindly and with respect and fairness. By being good people, we have an additional benefit in that it will help to shield us from other people because they will be less likely to be suspicious of us. That is a really good thing, and Joshy, you have played a big part in that. Your mother and I have heard so many good things about how you stand up to other boys if they speak badly about your little brother. I have heard many good things from the parents of boys that you have ‘put in their place,’ causing them to change the way they behave. And Scotty, I’ve heard that you are following in your big brother’s footsteps, and that you are very kind and loving to others as well. Because of that, we have a lot of ‘good people cred’ around here. But, we will still need to be very careful. People do love to see families that love each other like we do as long as they don’t see what they consider to be inappropriate behavior. So, we just have to be careful.”

The two boys were quiet. They sat there a bit somber.

“I know that these discussions are not fun, but they are very important. I just love you boys so much; I can’t bear the thought of losing you. It would literally kill me.”

Teddy paused for a few moments.

“We understand Daddy. We’ll be really careful. We don’t want anything to happen to us.”

“I know you will boys. I love the two of you so much, my sweet, wonderful boys. I just can’t even begin to tell you just how much I love you.”

“We wuv you too Daddy.”

Scotty was a little somber but sounded as if he were trying to cheer Daddy up.

“Okay boys,” Teddy started, in an overly-animated way to shake the boys out of the serious discussion, “let’s do something fun today! What would you boys like to do?”

“Can we go visit Uncle Cody?” Joshy asked quickly.

‘Fuck! That boy is just too damn quick for me to keep up with!’ Teddy thought.

“Yeah! Can we Daddy! Wet’s go visit uncwe Cody!”

Teddy looked at Joshy. He could see the mischief sparkling in his eldest boy’s eyes as he sat there with a shit-eating grin on his face. The boy thought he had Daddy over a barrel. Teddy thought for a minute.

“Boys, there is just about nothing that I would like more than to take the two of you over to visit Uncle Cody…”

“I’m sensing a ‘but’,” Joshy snarked.

“Alright you little smartass,” Teddy laughed at his too-smart-for-his-own-good, cheeky teen son. “You’re right. There’s a ‘but’, however, if my plan works, it could make things better so that we can see Uncle Cody more. Unfortunately, this is something that I need to do on my own. Your Uncle Cody and I need to talk. And it’s going to be a long, adult talk, and it will likely get very stressful, and you boys will definitely not enjoy being there. This just isn’t the kind of talk that you bring your kids or nephews to. But, if all goes well, I promise that we will all see Uncle Cody very soon, and, I may even let you loose on him with exactly that which is running across your naughty little minds.”

Teddy grinned hard at the two boys, a sparkle in his eyes. They both knew what he was talking about. Their exuberance had quickly given them away. Both boys’ faces flushed a bright red as they both realized they had been caught plotting to seduce Uncle Cody. Teddy paused, and thought for a moment.

“I tell you what boys. The sooner Uncle Cody and I have a ‘Come to Jesus’, the sooner I can take you boys over there -- that is, if everything goes well and I don’t end up making Uncle Cody hate me more than ever. If it doesn’t go well…hmm…well, if it doesn’t go well, then we’ll figure that out later.”

“What’s a ‘Come to Jesus’ Daddy?” Scotty asked.

Teddy laughed.

“A ‘Come to Jesus’ just means that we’re gonna ‘have it out’. I’m going to insist that Uncle Cody talk to me about what I did to upset him more than fifteen years ago even though he has refused to talk to me about it for all that time. I’m basically going to tell him that we’re going to get it all sorted out now, and that I’m not leaving until we do.”

“Ohhhhhhh.”

“Ok, so here’s the deal. If you guys will go have some fun at Nana and Papa’s today, if they are free, then I will go talk to Uncle Cody and try to get everything sorted. If we are able to get things sorted today, then we should be able to spend some real quality time with Uncle Cody soon. Is that ok with you guys?”

“Yeah Daddy! We love spending time with Nana and Papa, and if it means we can make love with Uncle Cody soon too, then heck yeah we’ll go to Nana and Papa’s today!”

“Yeah! Wet’s go to Nana and Papa’s!”

The boys didn’t know it, but Daddy had been stewing on the rift between him and his younger brother much of the night, and had already decided that enough was enough. It had been more than fifteen years since Teddy and Cassie had gotten ‘serious’ and in all that time, though Teddy had asked Cody what had come between them a number of times, he had never gotten a response from his little brother. Cody had either clammed up, changed the subject or just gotten up and walked away. The boys didn’t know it, but that morning, Teddy had made his mind up that he was through coddling his little brother. They were gonna to have a ‘come to Jesus’ come hell or high water and Teddy was determined to get to the bottom of what had caused such a rift to develop between he and his little brother. For the first time, Teddy actually thought he knew the answer, but he would give his little brother the chance to tell him in his own words just what had caused the separation of spirit. But if Cody fought him on it this time, Teddy was gonna kick his ass six ways to Sunday, just like he used to when they were kids and Cody got full of himself. That was, after all, the fairest, most equitable thing he could do.

He had come to realize, over the past 24 hours, that it was likely his relationship with Cassie that had come between him and the little brother that he adored so much. He now believed that Cody had been deeply in love with him from the time they were little, and his choice to get serious with and marry Cassie had been the catalyst which drove the massive wedge in between the two. If that were the case, Teddy was dead set to correct that decision. He didn’t consider it a mistake, because he really did love Cassie and as an added bonus, he had been blessed with the world’s two most cute, sweet, and perfect boys as a result. However, he did feel terrible about the thought that he had failed to comprehend just how deeply Cody had loved him, and the thought the he had been the one to cause his little brother so much hurt was soul crushing. Teddy was willing to accept whatever anger and hurt Cody had built up; everything that he had held inside these fifteen years.

He would try his best not to lash back at Cody, but he fully intended to gently remind Cody that he shared in the blame because he failed to express to his big brother just how much he was in love with him -- and Teddy had been clueless. A young and horny teenager that had been playing with his little brother for years, but as they grew, Teddy had basically done what he felt was expected of him; he got a girlfriend, got married and had kids. But, Cassie was gone, and though it had taken him fifteen years to figure it out, he hoped that Cody would forgive him, and that they might be able to rebuild their relationship. Teddy leaned forward and gently cupped both boys’ perfect penises.

“Why don’t you boys run get a quick shower? Make sure you wash up really well and rinse out those sweet little holes a little so that we don’t have any cum trails.”

He practically giggled right along with the boys.

“I’ll call Nana and Papa while you are in the shower and ask them if they could do with a visit for several hours today. When you’re all done and dressed, I’ll call Uncle Cody. You will have to be really quiet, but that way you’ll be in on the scheme and maybe it won’t be quite so frustrating that we can’t just go right over. How does that sound?”

“Good!” the boys practically yelled.

“Alright then, off with those gorgeous little bums. You guys get each other cleaned up really well, but don’t mess. Get cleaned up and then get out and get dressed. I’ll do the same as soon as I finish talking to Nana and Papa, and then we’ll meet back up here to call Uncle Cody.”

Nana and Papa were actually Cassie’s parents. They all remained very close, and though the adjustment had not been easy, Teddy made sure they continued to visit Cassie’s parents, the boys’ grandparents, as frequently as they could. Teddy touched their number in his contact list and put the phone on speaker.

“Hello?”

“Hi Mom,” Teddy smiled hearing the voice that sounded similar to Cassie’s.

“Theodore! How nice to hear from you! How are you doing? How are the boys doing?”

“We’re doing ok, Mom. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve been able to get together and I have some errands I need to run today. I was wondering if you and Dad have any plans, or if I might be able to bring the boys over for a visit for a few hours this afternoon.”

“Oh, that sounds wonderful! No, we don’t have any plans. And if we did, we’d cancel them anyway!”

Teddy chuckled.

“Thanks Mom! The boys are in the shower now, and I’m headed there next. We got a bit of a late start this morning because we had a bit of a house party last night. Lots of chocolate milk and ice cream.”

He laughed.

“We watched some movies and rough-housed a bit and stayed up late, so we all slept in.”

“Oooh, that’s sooo good!”

“Yeah, we really did have a good time. And I figured they could use some Nana and Papa time and you could use some time with the boys too. And this way, they don’t get dragged around for all the boring errands yet again.”

“Well, you know we can always use time with the boys!” she laughed.

“Okay Mom. Let me jump in the shower so that the boys aren’t waiting on me. We’ll be there in about an hour. Thanks again, Mom.”

“Oh please! There’s nothin’ to thank me for. We love spending time with our favorite grandsons.”

“Alright. We’ll see you soon. ’Love you Mom.”

“I love you too Theodore.”

The call disconnected and Teddy headed for the shower in his bathroom.

As Teddy was stepping out of the shower, two boys came tearing into the master bathroom.

“Awe you weddy to caww uncwe Cody?”

Teddy laughed.

“How’s about you let me get dried off and dressed first, you little booger.”

“I’m not a boogew!”

Teddy laughed again, wrapped himself around the little tyke and gave him lots of sucking-sounding kisses on his neck. Scotty giggled hysterically, then squealed.

“Yoe getting me aww wet!”

Scotty wiggled free and Teddy pretended to chase him, sending him running from the bathroom, screaming. Teddy dried off and got dressed while Joshy stood looking his dad’s body over. Teddy smiled at his eldest, who blushed a little at Daddy’s attentions as Scotty ‘snuck’ back into the room. Once Teddy was dressed, he put his arm around Joshy, who put his arm around Scotty, and they all headed for the living room. Teddy picked up his cell phone and selected Cody’s name from the address book. He put the phone on speaker, but held his finger to his lips cautioning his boys to be quiet. They both nodded excitedly, indicating that they understood that Daddy wanted them to remain quiet while he spoke to Uncle Cody. After a couple of rings, Uncle Cody answered the phone.

“Hello?”

The boys recognized their uncle’s voice immediately and put their hands over their own mouths, trying to contain their excitement. If Uncle Cody wasn’t busy, they knew what the day would bring.

“Hey Dakota, how are you?” Daddy started.

“Teddy? Hey! What’s goin’ on? An’ why’re you callin’ me Dakota?”

Teddy realized that he had already slipped up a bit. He only called his little brother by his full name when he had something serious he wanted to talk about. Teddy laughed, a bit nervous that he had already slipped up.

“Oh, nuttin’ much, little brother.”

Teddy grinned at the sound of his little brother’s voice, his stomach filling with butterflies.

“I was just wonderin’ what you’re doin’ today. They boys are busy, and I thought I might swing by if ya ain’t doin’ nuttin’.”

Teddy winked at his boys with a big grin on his face as he told his little brother the little fib, again holding his finger to his lips, motioning to the boys to remain quiet.

“I ain’t got no plans,” Uncle Cody replied. “Just hangin’ around the house, trying to do a little straightenin’ up and what not, but nuttin’ important planned.”

“Alright then. Since you ain’t got nuttin’ planned, I’ll stop by in a couple of hours if that’s alright.”

“Of course it’s alright, Teddy,” Uncle Cody replied.

“Okay then, I’ll see you in a bit! I love you little brother!”

“You too, big bro. See ya.”

Teddy winced. He couldn’t remember for sure how long it had been since Cody had actually said “I love you” to him. If memory served…it was about the time he and Cassie started getting serious. His responses were always generic and he never said it first anymore. Teddy had hopes that would change after today. He immediately wondered if Cody would be at all happy to see him when he found out what the reason was for the visit. It was bound to be a stressful day, but Teddy looked forward to drawing more than fifteen years of alienation to a close.

“Ok boys, I’ve talked to Nana and Papa, and I’m going to drop you off to visit them for the day today while I go talk to Uncle Cody. I know you’d like to go with me, but, this is going to be a stressful day for both of us. I am going to insist that Uncle Cody finally talk to me about what pushed us apart years ago. I think I know what it was, but, I want to hear it from him. It would be very uncomfortable for you if you were there, and it also might make Uncle Cody unwilling to discuss it since he doesn’t know anything about our love for each other. Please, please remember that you need to protect our secret. That is especially important with Nana and Papa. They would not understand and they would absolutely take action to take you away from me. I don’t want you do hold that against them, because they just don’t and won’t understand. But, you just need to remember to be very careful. No fooling around, grabbing each other’s dicks or butts, or anything else. I need you to be on your best behavior when it comes to that especially.”

“Okay Daddy! It’s ok. We’ll be careful. If Mommy didn’t come into our room and smell sex and pee, you guys wouldn’t have known we were fooling around. Nana and Papa don’t know and we will keep it that way. And, we love spending time with Nana and Papa too, don’t we little man?”

“Yeah! We’ww be cawefuw! Wet’s go!”

“Alrighty then! Let’s get moving!”

Teddy dropped the boys off at Nana and Papa’s house and headed to Cody’s house. His stomach was in knots. He was sweating and his heart was racing. He was really feeling the stress of how the day would go. Teddy desperately wanted to repair his relationship with his little brother, and he regretted that the rift it had gone on as long as it had. If he was right, and Cody was completely in love with him, and had been devastated when he got serious with Cassie, that may have been why Cody refused to talk to him about it. He may have not wanted to jeopardize his big brother’s happiness, instead sacrificing his own. That thought broke Cody’s heart. He was immediately torn over the pain he had potentially caused Cody and the fact that he had two beautiful and incredible boys because he had married Cassie. It was a huge unknown…

As he pulled into the driveway in front of Cody’s house, Teddy literally thought he might vomit. He had tried so many times to talk to Cody about the sudden distance over the years and had been immediately shut down, to the point that he resigned to wait until Cody was ready to talk on his own accord. This time, Teddy was bound and determined to force the issue. He just hoped that didn’t backfire and destroy what was left of their relationship. He really didn’t want to risk that, but he no longer felt he had a choice. With the realization that Cody may have been completely in love with him when they were younger, he had to have a chance to make it right again. Teddy parked, turned off his vehicle and got out. He checked and adjusted his clothes and then walked up to the door. He knocked. After a few moments, the door opened and Cody greeted him.

“Hey Teddy!”

Cody opened the door and motioned him in. Teddy longed to grab his brother and hug him tightly, but that was another thing they hadn’t done in years. Cody might have given him a little “A-frame” hug if he felt someone would frown at him for not giving Teddy a hug, but unless that was an issue, a handshake was the best he could hope for.

“Hey Cody!” Teddy replied, trying to keep his nerves in check.

He followed Cody into the living room.

“You want a beer?”

“Nah, thanks… You know, I will take a couple of fingers of that Irish Whiskey on the rocks, if you have any around.”

He wasn’t sure that his stomach could handle either, but the thought of a little liquid courage won out over the upset stomach.

“Here ya go bro,” Cody handed his big brother a glass half full of ice and Irish Whiskey. “So the boys are otherwise occupied, eh?”

“Yeah, yeah, they are spending a little time with Cassie’s parents. I try to make sure they see them regularly. I know it was hard on them losing Cassie too.”

“That’s nice. Yeah, I’m sure it was. I’m really sorry bro. I know it’s been hard.”

“Thanks, yeah. It’s been difficult. Honestly, I think it’s been harder for me than the boys. We’ve had an interesting weekend… Joshy just blew me away! He has been talking Scotty through his feelings and helping him adjust and grieve. I clearly screwed up. Trying to put on a brave face for them -- and who am I kidding -- for me. I can’t believe how insightful he is. He is just such a little man, taking care of me and his little brother. And I think he’s worked through his own grief by helping Scotty through his. And now, he’s helping me through mine. Well, he and Scotty both are. They called me out, and we talked, and I’m going to try to stop with the ‘brave face’ bit. I’ve promised them that I will make an effort to talk more about my feelings.”

“Well, that doesn’t surprise me. Joshy is quite a boy. Both of your boys are, but for thirteen, Joshy is an amazing young man.”

“Yes, he is. They both are. I guess that is, in part, why I called.”

Teddy’s heart was pounding in his throat. He really felt like he was going to vomit, and the alcohol wasn’t helping.

“Dakota.”

“Oh boy.”

“Dakota. The past 48 hours have been a whirlwind. And I’ll get back to that at some point in time…”

“Teddy, you look like you’re gonna hurl. What’s going on?”

“Dakota…”

“Jesus, Teddy! That’s three! For Christ sake!”

“I’m sorry Cody.”

Tears started to stream down Teddy’s face.

“Teddy…”

Cody’s shell was starting to crack a little. The two sat there in quiet as Teddy struggled to compose himself. He struggled to build up a reserve of strength and will. He knew he had to get it all out at once. It was an all-or-nothing shot. He knew that as soon as he said it, Cody was going to blow up, so he needed to say his peace before the war started. Finally, he had worked up enough strength and will, even a bit of anger at Cody for putting him through this for the past fifteen years. He knew that he probably shouldn’t show that anger, because if he was right, it was his fault, and that might just make everything worse.

“Cody, I need to know what happened between us. I can’t wait any more. With everything that happened this weekend, I suddenly had a thought, and I just need to know. I need you to be ready to tell me. Please. It’s been more than fifteen years and I feel like half of me has been missing all this time. I know I told you that I wouldn’t ask you again, that I would wait for you to be ready to tell me, and to volunteer it yourself, and I’m sorry that I can’t honor that. But I have to know Cody. I have to know what it was that caused you to stop hugging me. I have to know what caused you to stop telling me that you love me. I need to know what I did to put such a chasm between us. It’s been more than fifteen years, Cody. It’s been too long. And this time, I’m not leaving until you tell me.”

“Goddamnit Teddy!”

Having said his peace, Teddy broke down. He brought a handkerchief as he knew he’d need it. He put his face in his hands and just sobbed into the handkerchief. He didn’t really want his little brother to see him like this. He had always tried to be strong for his little brother too. He did everything he could to protect Cody from his grandfather’s advances and though ultimately, he was not completely successful, he had been able to protect his little brother from much of it and instead took the brunt of it himself -- something that Cody didn’t know. Teddy had been the older brother, the one that needed to be strong and set an example for his little brother. He was the one that had to protect him and teach him and help him, and so he had always tried to be strong. That doesn’t mean that he didn’t cry -- he did. But, there were times when he bit his lip and forced himself to stand strong. This was not one of those times. He didn’t have any strength left. He had exhausted it all to get out what he needed to say.

Cody was furious. He wanted to walk out, but it was his house. Of course, he could still do that. He knew that Teddy wouldn’t do anything to his house. He’d even lock it up when he left to ensure nothing happened if Cody didn’t come back. But, something about Teddy sobbing, completely broken, stopped him. After he cursed at Teddy for bringing it up again, he stopped because it was clear that Teddy was broken. He had never seen his big brother act like this. Not as an adult. Not when Cassie died. If he had ever cried like this, sobbed, unable to control himself, Cody had never seen it. He sat there perplexed as Teddy held his head in his hands sobbing, seemingly refusing to look up at Cody.

“Teddy,” Cody practically barked.

Teddy didn’t look up. Cody realized that his voice was harsh, angry. He calmed himself, quieted his anger and his pain, and tried again.

“Teddy,” he said much more softly.

Still, Teddy would not look up. He continued to cry. Finally, after some time, Cody got up and sat next to his big brother. He put his arm around his shoulder.

“Theodore,” he said almost lovingly.

Teddy wiped his eyes and raised his head. Tears continued to stream down his face. Cody looked into his brother’s eyes and saw his pain, but he also saw his own pain reflected back at him. He started to tear up as well. He didn’t want to talk about this. He never wanted to talk about it. He had packed it away so tightly, so deep, so as not to continue to interfere with his life, and now it seemed, he had no choice but to finally confront his big brother. He had to finally tell him that it was because he loved him so deeply that when he saw him with Cassie, it infuriated him. He burned with jealousy and anger because it should have been he with whom Teddy built a life, not Cassie. He actually liked Cassie. Were it to be anyone but him, he was glad that it was Cassie. But it should have been him. He had been afraid that if he professed his love to his big brother, it would make things awkward, and he didn’t want that. He didn’t think his big brother would choose him over Cassie, and he didn’t want to know the answer to that question -- well he did, but only if Teddy would have chosen him. As the tears crested his lower lid and began to roll down his cheeks, he finally spoke.

“It should have been me.”

Teddy’s face twisted and scrunched up in anguish, exposing his feelings, his realization. He had been right. Teddy moved so quickly he knocked the wind out of Cody. In a flash he turned, and putting his arms around his little brother, he stood, pulling him to his feet and squeezing the life out of him. He was sobbing again. He moved his right hand up and grasped the back of Cody’s head firmly, pulling it to him.

“I’m so sorry! I’m so, so sorry!” Teddy repeated over and over.

The newly cracked mortar in the “brick wall” Cody had built up to lock his feelings away, fractured, then shattered, and the wall came down. Cody could no longer contain his own emotions. He too began to cry and hugged his big brother back. Neither knew how long they stood there with Teddy holding his little brother’s head, sobbing “I’m sorry” over and over again. They both sobbed and cried, fifteen years’ worth of pain and anguish and anger that he been stamped down, suppressed and tucked away, finally unleashed. At some point, Cody began to repeat “Me too” as the two stood there holding each other. Cody was the first to start to pull back. He had been in a bit of an awkward position the way Teddy had pulled him up, and it was becoming uncomfortable. Besides, it was time they talked it out. Teddy tried to hang on. After so long denied the ability to hug his little brother, he never wanted to let go. Cody raised his hand and put it on his big brother’s cheek.

“Teddy, let’s sit down. You’re right. It’s time we talk.”

Teddy relaxed some for the first time since he left the boys at Nana and Papa’s house. Slowly, he relaxed the death-grip that he had on Cody, and shuffled backward a little, his arms sliding down Cody’s. As he took a step back his right hand grasped his little brother’s left hand. He wasn’t going to lose contact with him again if he could help it. The conversation was going to be difficult and emotional. Teddy and Cody both realized that when the emotion became too much, they would be choked up, unable to talk until they were able to regain composure. The brothers sat down next to each other, closer than they had been for any length of time in over fifteen years. Teddy continued to hold onto Cody’s hand. The two men just sat there for several minutes, trying to regain composure and calm themselves enough to talk. Teddy was the first to finally regain some composure.

“It hit me this morning, Dakota. After our talk, the boys slept with me, and for the first time since Cassie died, I didn’t wake up screaming through the night. I woke up this morning holding my boys, calm, but my mind was spinning, and when I got it under control and focused, the one word that I came up with was ‘Cody’. I wasn’t sure, mind you. I mean, it’s pretty pretentious of me to think that…”

Teddy wasn’t sure he should be the one telling the story, but he also thought that if he told the story, Cody would realize that he truly did understand what had caused the rift. He looked at Cody. His little brother didn’t look as though he was ready to talk, so he decided to continue.

“Well, that you loved me so much that when Cassie and I got serious, I broke your heart… That thought was immediately soul crushing… I couldn’t breathe and I literally felt as though someone had my heart in their fist and they were crushing it… How could I have been so incredibly dense as not to realize that I hurt you when I chose to be with Cassie… I loved you more than anything Dakota… I grew to love Cassie, but Dakota, I have always loved you more than life itself… I didn’t see being with you as an option. It didn’t even occur to me that you would want to be with me… I’m so sorry that I hurt you Dakota… I’m a complete and total idiot…”

Teddy was not able to maintain his composure and the crying overtook him. He tried to regain control. Cody was also crying and not able interject anything. Aside from the sound of quiet crying, the room was quiet for a few minutes. Finally, Teddy was able to continue.

“I guessed that you pulled back to try to protect yourself from the hurt that I was unknowingly inflicting upon you just by being there with Cassie. You stopped hugging me and saying ‘I love you’ to me, I’m guessing because it hurt too much… I don’t think you would do it to hurt me… It did… Hurt me, that is. Terribly… And I’m not saying that to hurt you, or try to guilt you little brother… I just want you to know how much I have missed you every day since… My god. I love you so much Dakota… I was afraid to tell you that I was in love with you, and have you say the same thing because you looked up to me. I felt like it had to come from you or… I’m so sorry that I didn’t realize that you were in love with me too… Had I not been such a dense dolt…”

“Stop it! Stop it Teddy! I’m the one that’s sorry. I never thought about it from your perspective… I was young and stupid and selfish… And I did distance myself from you in part to hurt you…”

Cody began to sob again. Teddy put his arms around his little brother from the side and pulled him into his chest. Placing one hand on the side of his head while he pulled him close with the other, he gently stroked Cody’s hair.

“It’s ok Dakota. It’s ok. I forgive you. You know you don’t even have to ask. Can you forgive me?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong… It was all me, being cruel because I was hurt…”

“You do not carry all the blame, Dakota. I won’t let you. I’m your big brother… I was so in love with you, but after everything that I had been through… and everything you went through… I was confused… And I thought you might be too… I didn’t know how much of what we did together was because of what we went through, or just getting off because we were horny teens, and how much of it might be truly rooted in our love for each other… I didn’t want to assume… I didn’t want to coax you into anything… But, I should have made more of an effort to understand what you were feeling… Instead, I just did what was ‘expected’ of me… Cassie and I got along well and you liked her too and that was so important to me… I should have known… I’m so sorry Dakota… I’m so sorry that I hurt you… You know I’d rather die than to hurt you… If I had known… Please, forgive me Dakota…”

“But you didn’t know… And I didn’t tell you…”

“Please…Cody, forgive me.”

“I still don’t think there’s anything to forgive, but if it makes you feel better, than I forgive you, Teddy.”

Cody immediately broke down again.

“Cody, what is it? I thought we were making progress.”

Through his sobbing, Cody coughed out his answer.

“I wasted… fifteen years… of our lives… I… caused you… unbearable pain… for fifteen years… I… lost… fifteen years… of being… close to you…”

Cody yowled loudly and his sobs turned to all-out bawling. Teddy could have let Cody suffer. He would have been well within his rights to do so after Cody had put him through so much. But, that was not Teddy’s way. His heart broke to see his little brother in even more pain. He gently placed his hands on Cody’s head, one on each side of his face.

“Point your face at me!” he said.

Cody laughed, interrupting his fit of bawling. It was the effect Teddy was looking for. He leaned in and covered Cody’s mouth with his. He blew a quick, hard puff of air into his little brother’s mouth. Cody laughed again. Having interrupted the terrible squalling, Teddy kissed his little brother deeply. He shoved his tongue into his little brother’s mouth and flicked it around, then sucked Cody’s tongue into his own mouth. He continued to suck a bit hard keeping Cody’s tongue in his mouth. When he finally let go, Cody was calm.

“It still works,” Teddy smiled.

“Bastard,” Cody giggled.

Teddy gave Cody a gentle peck on the lips as he continued to look into his eyes, hands still on his head.

When Cody was small, and wanted Teddy’s attention, he would grab Teddy’s face with both hands like Teddy had just done to him, and he would say “Point yoe face at me, Teddy!” It tickled Teddy so much, that as they got older, he used that any time he needed to pull Cody out of a temper tantrum, or if he was upset, pretty much any time he needed to really get his brother’s attention he would use it. If he needed a little extra oomph, he would blow into his mouth. This was something that Cody started doing to Teddy when Cody was just a toddler. He thought it was very funny to put his mouth over Teddy’s and blow as hard as he could. No one knew whether he had seen a kissing scene, or maybe a TV show with someone performing CPR, but, the combination of the two never failed to pull Cody out of whatever emotional outburst he was having. It had been a very long time since he had done that.

“I love you Dakota. And we can’t change the past, so there’s no point dwelling on it. It’s done and gone and can’t be changed. But what can be changed is today and tomorrow and the rest of the future. I miss Cassie, I do. And the boys do to. But, if I’m completely honest, Cassie isn’t the one that I think about all the time. It’s you, Dakota. You’re the one I’ve always thought about; the one I’ve always loved with all my heart. I love my boys Cody. They are my life and I have to put them first. However, the boys both love you very much, Cody. They were not happy with me when they heard me call you about coming over. They wanted to come with me, but I told them that today was not a good day. I know that we have to figure things out. I don’t even know if you want to pursue a relationship…”

“I do! I do Teddy! If you are willing to forgive me, and want to get back together, I want that too, Teddy.”

“So do I, Dakota -- more than just about anything in the world.”