Date: Thu, 25 Jun 2020 14:17:14 +0000 From: Bill Drake Subject: Naval Tradition Revised ch. 12 Naval Tradition REVISED EDITION Bill Drake (billdrake@hotmail.com) with Corporal Cody NOTICE: THE FOLLOWING IS FOR ADULTS ONLY. It is gay erotic fiction explicitly depicting sexual acts between men, including male relatives. If that offends or disturbs you, read no further. Thanks to all the great work that the Nifty Archive does and the writers it publishes. Please consider supporting them with a donation. This is the revised and retconned version of Naval Tradition, told in chronological order. While the overall story is the same, there is lot of new content here (and some of the old parts didn't make the cut in this version). This revision has been a collaboration with fellow writer Corporal Cody. My thanks to him for his considerable contributions to and inspiration for this version. Feel free to drop a line if you enjoy it: billdrake@hotmail.com. I hope to have an ebook version at the end of this, so you can let me know if you want to be on the mailing list for that. NAVAL TRADITION Bill Drake, with Corporal Cody PART TWO: COLLEGE YEARS Chapter Twelve Charlottesville, Summer 2003 My freshman year seemed to be over in a flash. I stayed on campus for a couple of weeks to finish up the baseball season, but Tim moved out of the dorm toward the end of finals week. "Have a great summer, Jim," he said as we gave each other a hug after he had his final box moved out. "You too, man," I said. "Stay in touch." Even if we were a baseball jock and an artsy nerd, we had grown into petty good friends. Charlie's and my lease for our off-campus apartment didn't start until June 1, so he and I had to put some stuff in storage until then. Charlie went home for a couple of weeks, though not before I got a Bulldozer special to cap off the end of the school year. After the end of baseball season, I lived up to my word and visited Dad for a week. The Cavs were eliminated from the ACC tournament in the third round in late May. The next day, I was driving home to Norfolk. Dad met me just inside the door as I dropped my duffle in the foyer. "Great to see you, Slugger," Dad said with an intense hug, wrapping me in his large arms and pulling me into his thick chest. I had to keep my lust in check, feeling his warm body and smelling his cologne. The memory of the sex we'd had came back to me, but I also remembered our last conversation. Dad was dating now, and sex was off the table. I could see he was still genuinely happy to see me, which made me feel relaxed. It was such a nice contrast to our tension last fall. I hugged him back. "You, too, Dad," I replied. He pulled back, holding my shoulders as he got a good look at me. "I see you've gone buzzed for the summer." I had cut my longish locks and now had one of those jock buzz cuts, an even quarter inch or so all around. "Yes, sir," I replied. "Figured it was time for a change." I ran my hand over my head, feeling the still new, bristly sensation of my now extremely short hair. "Looks good," he said. I remember when I was a young teen, Dad would always be after me to keep my hair neater, but as I got older he let me decide how to wear it. He clapped my shoulder. "Come on. I want you to meet Nicole." I stepped into the living room and saw a real pretty woman with long, straight, blondish-brown hair and young-looking for her late 30s. I wasn't surprised that a stud like Dad could score a hot younger woman. "You must be Jim," she said, stepping closer for a genteel handshake. "Yes, ma'am," I replied. "Nice to meet you." Nicole laughed. "Ma'am? I'm not so imposing as that." I blushed. "No... it's not that. Dad just raised us to be polite." Dad came to my rescue. "'Fraid so... you better get used to it," he laughed. I had been building this moment up and dreading this meeting so much that the actuality of it happening wasn't so bad. I liked Nicole just fine. She was girly and feminine but not overly so, and it was clear she was very much into my older father. Plus, she had a good sense of humor. Dad seemed relaxed, more relaxed than I'd seen him in ages, which meant he was happy. The three of us had dinner that first night and I got to know Nicole a little more. I also caught Dad up on the end of baseball season, my summer plans, and my new apartment with Holt. The next couple of days, Dad made sure to spend a lot of time with me, just us. I know that he feared we'd fall back into a distant relationship, like the one after Paul's wedding. He told me he put in for a couple of leave days. So, we went golfing both days, ate out, ordered pizza, and watched Orioles games in the evening. He was attentive, content, and it was great - a perfectly relaxing start to summer. There was no sex, and I didn't expect any. I can't say a tiny part of me didn't fantasize that something would happen, but really I was just glad things were kind of back to normal between us. There were times it felt like our exploits were the elephant in the room, but Dad did a good job making sure things didn't get awkward. The fourth night home Dad had a date. I called up my buddy Rick, who happened to be in town for a couple of days visiting his dad. It had been a year since I'd seen him, since he was at school at Vanderbilt and now spent most of his breaks with his mother in Florida. Rick invited me over for the night, like old times, and I told Dad that I was going over as I stuffed a change of clothes and a toothbrush in my backpack. Dad seemed to be glad I was going and that I was able to enjoy my social life. Or maybe he was glad he'd have the house to himself tonight with Nicole. I couldn't help but wonder if Dad was fucking her. I knew I shouldn't think this way, but I imagined Dad giving her his 10, thick inches. For all of Dad's bi tendencies, I expected that women would take priority in his life, and I'd have to get used to the idea of my father dating. But it was tough, having this sexual history and tension there between us. Good thing I was going to Rick's. It would get me out of the house and focused on something besides Dad. I guess a couple of things you should know about Rick Bryant. His family's loaded. I still couldn't figure out exactly what his dad did for a living... something with real estate investments... but he lived in a house in a ritzy subdivision. Rick's parents divorced his sophomore year in high school, but Rick occasionally stayed with his father. Mr. Bryant was almost the cliche of the Cool Dad. As long as Rick stayed out of trouble, he had free rein of the place, and best of all, his dad would let us drink beer. In fact, he had a mini fridge stocked with beer in the rec room that was practically Rick's personal man cave. "I'd rather you be drinking here than out somewhere getting in trouble," he once justified, but I suspected he liked having his son as his best friend more than as a son, if that makes sense. Especially because half the time I was over there, Mr. Bryant would join us. Only he made sure I called him Ed. He was young looking for his age. He was about my height, though with a more compact squash-player build - roman nose, sea-blue eyes, and closely cropped, dirty-blond hair showing some mousy gray, particularly along the temples. He was a fit guy for his late 40s, with sleek, but not overly large muscles. Rick said that his dad ran regularly to keep in shape and he probably worked out, too. Ed liked to keep a close shave, looking dapper and clean-cut. It was hard not to have the hots for him, especially because he had a real friendly smile that seemed to invite attention in return. I felt a little bad perving on Rick's dad like this. I guess because between Rick and me, our friendship was purely platonic, and of all the guys I'd lusted after, my friend wasn't one of them. I think Mr. Bryant was on the phone when I came over, because Rick answered the door and led me down to his rec room. He had a cheesy horror film on, it was kind of our past time watching them. "Help yourself to a beer, McGrath." I could tell he'd already had a couple, because he was jovial and relaxed. I did so, and we kicked back, talking about our holidays and how school was going. He told me about the girl he was dating. I listened, happy for him but also knowing there could be a new one next time I talked to him. "So... I've been dating a girl," I finally said. Rick nearly spat out his beer. "What did you say?" he snorted. He looked over at me trying to figure out if I was joking. "Yeah, her name is Kristen. We've been dating over a month. I thought I'd give girls another try." I had dated a couple of girls in high school but none since my junior year. Rick was a supportive friend, but he was suspicious of the idea, for sure, and more than a little amused. "And how's that going, McGrath?" "It's OK," I admitted, feeling dumb. "She's real nice." Rick outright laughed. "Dude, you're the only guy I've heard describe dating as `okay.'" I figured I could be honest with my high school friend. "Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing man," I said as my voice got serious. "I don't know... sometimes I think life would be easier if I was straight." Rick got up and walked over to the mini fridge over by the wet bar area. He pulled out two beers, tall cans. "You're not driving, right? Dad's only rule." I asserted I'd be staying over, and he handed me a cold one. As he sat back down in the recliner, he said, "Of course life would be easier if you were straight, McGrath. But you're not." "Yeah," I said, embarrassed. "But I can get by enough." Rick shrugged his shoulders. "Do what you like, man. I mean that. It just sounds like you're trying to convince yourself more than me." I bit my lip and settled back to watch the movie. "Maybe. I got some stuff to figure out." Rick nodded. "I can tell. I'm probably being a prick." "You're not, bud," I said. Sometimes those guys who "tell it like it is" can be assholes, but I valued Rick's insight as much as anyone's. He was astute, and I knew he had my best interests at heart. Our attention went back to the movie, and it was only a short while before Mr. Bryant popped his head in. "Mind if I join you fellas? It's kind of lonely upstairs." He was in typical suburban-dad wear of a polo, khaki shorts, and running sneakers with footie socks. Rick didn't even look up from the TV. "Sure, Dad. Only this movie's pretty shitty." Rick and his father cursed a lot around each other, which definitely would not have been tolerated in my house growing up. Mr. Bryant plopped onto a free spot on the couch, next to me, and held up a tin. "I brought something to make it better," he said and opened it up so that we could see a decent stash of pot in there, with rolling papers and a lighter. Rick's reaction let me know this was not an unusual occurrence in the Bryant household. He just scooted forward as his father passed him the tin to let him have the honors of rolling the first joint. Ed must have seen the surprise on my face, because he paused. "You smoke, Jim?" "You kidding Dad?" Rick answered for me, "Jim loves this stuff." He lit up and took a deep toke before passing it to me. I'm not sure I wanted to be painted as a stoner to Rick's dad, but the man slapped my knee playfully, and said "I'll bet," as I took my toke and passed it along. Our fingers grazed and Ed had an almost mischievous look in his eye, though maybe that was in response to my shyness in burning down in front of the man, or my eagerness and enjoyment of the pot. "Good stuff, huh?" he asked, the corner of lips curling as his blue eyes held mine just a bit longer than a friend's dad should. "Yeah," I croaked, holding the smoke in and smiling at his perceived attention. By the time we passed around the second joint, we were giggling, almost nonstop at the movie. Pot tends to make me goofy, and horny. So I couldn't help it, I found myself boning up. I tried to shuffle my seating position so Rick and Mr. Bryant wouldn't notice. Rick was in a lazy chair, so from his angle he couldn't see the plumping 8-inch boner that by now was hard to miss. But at one point I felt Ed nudge my side as he gestured down to my crotch with a big conspiratorial grin. "You too, huh?" he whispered in my ear. I tried not to be obvious, so I waited until Rick's attention was on the TV and I looked down at Mr. Bryant's crotch. He was throwing wood as well, and the knowledge made me feel real naughty. I really tried to resist it. Tried to keep from giving Mr. B eye contact or brushing my arm against his own hairy forearm. I mean, Rick was right there, and I knew I shouldn't be doing this. But the pot had melted my resolve, and the very awareness that Mr. Bryant was into dudes, at least into me, had me hard and excited. The next thirty minutes were a gentle torture as our eyes played their furtive game. Our arms or legs would touch on occasion, which only made me harder. It had been a few months since I'd had sex with a guy and my pent up libido was coming roaring back. I wasn't sure where this was going or if Mr. Bryant and I would even have an opportunity to do anything. Opportunity did present itself. Weed usually makes Rick sleepy and sure enough, I saw he'd conked out in the reclining chair. Like totally asleep, his head cocked to the side. I touched Ed's arm and nodded over at his son. The man smiled and leaned forward to roll another joint. He lit it and sucked in, then I watched in disbelief as he leaned into me. He turned his head toward mine and angled slightly, lining up his lips to my mouth. Our kiss was soft and heavy at the same time. And as I opened my mouth, Mr. Bryant blew the smoke into me, his tongue tracing along mine playfully. Then it was my turn, and I did the same to him. I couldn't help reaching up to touch his scratchy cheek, my tongue seeking out his between the tendrils of smoke. Even mixed with the taste of weed, Mr. Bryant tasted good. Ed's son, and my best friend, was six feet away and the sheer inappropriateness of the situation made my body shake as Mr. Bryant let me take his mouth. Add to that, I was getting high as a kite, and my sex drive was roaring like mad. I wanted to get off in the worst way and the idea of doing it with Rick's dad made my cock throb. Mr. Bryant pulled his lips back and smiled as he grabbed my crotch, his fingers fondling my size as he gauged my heft. The look on his face showed that he was impressed. He then stood up, gesturing that I should follow him. I did. He led me upstairs to the guest room, whispering that we should be safe there before quietly shutting the door behind us. Feeling my horniness boil over, I reached for Mr. Bryant, pulling the lighter but older man towards me as I sought out his lips. We kissed a bit clumsily, acting gleeful and almost naughty as we embraced, our hands equally appreciating each other's bodies. The man felt so good in my arms pressed against me, so unlike Kristen. I knew that this was what I'd been craving - a man... a mature man. Maybe it was because I missed the intimacy Dad and I shared, but Mr. B felt and tasted so fucking good in that moment. "I can't believe you've grown into such a hunk," Ed hissed, breaking our kiss as his hands felt down my chest and abs until finally grabbing the hard ridge in my crotch. He bit his lip as he looked down between us. "Hung, too." I grinned and reached down to undo my shorts, letting his fingers grip my briefs and then my exposed boner as I stripped from the waist down. The man's fingers felt good on my cock, but not as good as what I was about to feel. Mr. B looked down, massaging my girth and playing with my dripping head a little. "Fuck," he whispered then crouched down. I grinned as he took me in his grip, gently shaking my cock, appreciating the heft and length. I knew from the second his lips touched me that this wasn't Mr. B's first cock. He laved all over the tip with his wide tongue before taking me in without too much issue. I stood very still and braced my hands on my hips, letting my friend's dad do the work. I couldn't help gently thrusting into his warm inviting mouth. The man held my cock while his mouth concentrated on the first four inches, giving regular strokes with his lips and slurping just enough to provide the right amount of suction. I loved getting my dick sucked, and Mr. Bryant knew how to suck me. Each motion up seemed to make my nuts tingle and a heightened sexual thrill pulse through my whole body. And then the downstroke would stimulate my cockhead. It alternated like clockwork, and I felt a tremendous orgasm come on. "Mr. Bryant..." I hissed as the pleasure was building up in the core of my body. "I'm gonna cum." He hummed greedily and sucked harder, wisely not rushing the pace though. He knew the sensations that got me to the edge were going to get me off. My hands lashed out, gripping Mr. B's head as I blasted hard. I gritted my teeth, trying hard not to groan too loudly and wake up Rick. Fuck, I loved coming in a guy's mouth, and I savored being able to ride out this one in Mr. Bryant's. He grunted and slurped my seed down with heavy, choked moans, hungrily sucking at each spurt. I must have given him a lot to swallow, but when he finally plopped my wet dick out he took a deep breath., "Fuck, that's hot," he whispered as he stroked my sated cock, milking the last drops from me and licking them off the oozing tip. "I'll do you," I croaked in as quiet a voice as I could. I think the offer surprised him. But he stood up and undid his shorts as fast as he could. I switched places and as soon as he'd pulled out his erection, I was on him. Ed had a slender cock, not thin but thinner than average. It measured a good 7 inches though, and I enjoyed feeling his steely hardness in my mouth as I did my best to return the favor. His size was actually pretty good for me, allowing me to take a good deal of length while not losing suction on him. And while I tried not to think of Dad, I knew that my cocksucking and deep throating skills were getting better. I could feel Mr. B's inches slip deeper into my mouth with little discomfort, and I felt a sense of pride that I could now handle a dick with relative ease. I bobbed at a good, fast clip, holding his hips, helping him find a good rhythm as I slurped around his hard meat. I heard his breath get short and felt his fingers run across my bristled hair. "All right, Jim," he announced as his legs grew shaky. And like that, Mr. B was ejaculating into my mouth and down my throat. His cum tasted bitter, but I didn't mind. I liked the guy and was happy I'd gotten him off. After we were done, we stood there, panting heavy, our cocks flopping out satisfied from our crotches. It was such a crazy thing to do and we both recognized that. "Glad I took a chance," my buddy's dad said. "That was hot." "Yeah. Thanks, Ed." I was taught to be deferential to my elders, but at that point the first name felt appropriate. "This was amazing." "You can't tell Rick," he pleaded, but with a smile of sexual satisfaction still on his face as we stuffed our deflating cocks back into our shorts. "Hell no," I said, and Mr. B laughed. He looked around the room. "You got everything you need?" "I'm good, Mr. B," I said. He looked at me with an almost goofy half-smile. I would have paid to know what was going on inside his head at that moment. "Thanks again, Jim. Good night." "Good night." I went down to check on Rick and grab my backpack. He was still sound asleep in the chair. The movie had ended and the DVD was now back at the start menu. I turned off the TV and went back to the guest room. I felt like I'd betrayed my friend in some way, but I guess what Rick didn't know didn't hurt him. I'd just have to make sure he didn't know. ***** Mr. B's blowjob was on my mind the rest of that week. It was thrilling to have had sex with a man as hot as Ed. I missed being with older men, a lot, and I felt an intense attraction that really made me wonder what the hell I was doing with Kristen. I knew my heart wasn't into dating a woman, but the contrast of my excitement swapping blowjobs with this man in his late 40s made going through the motions seem less appealing. I'd have the summer to figure this out, I guessed. Kristen and I would probably see each other a couple of times, maximum, but otherwise it was a brief phone call to check in daily. I'd kick the can down the road and make a decision later. The next day was my last in Norfolk before heading back to Charlottesville. Dad took me out for dinner. We had a good conversation, neither of us hinting at our shared sexual past. Instead he asked me about my summer plans and my new place. I couldn't bring myself to tell him about Kristen. I felt too ashamed of what I was doing and worried he'd see through me - or, worse, lecture me. But I asked him how things were going with Nicole. It was genuine, no ulterior motive, and I could tell Dad appreciated that. He opened up to me. "If I had to guess, Slugger, it's not serious. But maybe eventually it could be. Um, we... well, I'll be going out to sea soon, and don't want to commit to anything now." That statement told me right there that Nicole was not used to dating a military man, or at least didn't come from a military family where parents could be gone for close to a year. Or maybe Dad was being overly cautious early in a relationship. "When?" I wasn't surprised but that didn't make the news welcome. The Iraq War was in full swing, and I knew his deployment was certain, not a matter of if, but when. "A couple of weeks," he said. It was the first time this visit that I'd seen his new state of relaxation fade and his seriousness return. "I'll miss you, Dad," I said, somberly. Even after all these years, knowing full well that he'd be deployed for months on end, it was still hard watching him leave. He nodded. "I'll miss you like hell, Slugger. Always do." ***** It was Deployment Day at Hampton Roads. I'd been to a dozen of these farewells growing up, but watching Dad get ready to board the amphibious assault ship under his command was still a tough feeling to bear. My brother Paul and his wife Megan were there with me, as well as Nicole. Our conversation was light, kind of passing the time, as we waited for the ceremony. It was early in the day and the sun still was soft in the summer sky as we stood on the Naval station pier, watching the proceedings. Dad was in his service dress blues - black coat and pants with his white combination cap. He looked especially handsome and commanding as he returned the salutes of the sailors and Marines after they all said their good-byes to loved ones and were ready to board. When the appointed hour approached, Dad's command master chief informed him it was time. Dad gave out final hugs and handshakes. "I hope the move goes well for you guys," Dad said to Paul and Megan. "I'm going to miss having you guys here." Paul nodded, his lunky body filling out a polo shirt and looking even bigger lately. He looked more grown up now since getting married, and definitely more like a cop. "We'll be visiting, Dad. Don't worry. See you at Christmas?" he asked. "I better," Dad grinned. He turned to me. "Bring it in, Slugger," he said in a friendly growl. I hugged him hard as he matched my strength, telling me to focus on baseball and my studies. He gave Nicole a modest kiss, waving one last time before he and the CMC walked up the ramp and into the bowels of the ship. It was Megan's, and apparently Nicole's, first Navy deployment farewell. They watched the sailors and Marines "Man the Rails" along the edge of the carrier as Dad and his crew left the port. ***** Despite a somber start, that summer with Holt was one of the best. It was my first place on my own, and I loved the freedom of actually being able to walk around in my room naked for a change. I could now make my own meals and watch what I ate instead of going to the cafeteria. But best of all, I now had a roommate I could be myself around. During the day I worked hard with batting practice and workouts, and Holt was getting back into lifting more seriously and readying himself for football season. But come evening we'd find a party or just open some whiskey or beer at the house. Holt wasn't into pot, and I decided to stop smoking, at least for the time being. Each time I was taking a chance with NCAA drug policy, so it was a smart decision. Sex between us was pretty infrequent by now. Maybe once a month Holt would get extra horny and in the mood to suck me. Or maybe he'd recognize I was hard up. I knew the guy had a couple of other dudes he played with, but I gave him his privacy, and he did the same for me. We really were just friends and roommates first and fuck buds second. There was zero sexual tension between us, just a mutual arrangement that didn't get in the way of Charlie's active sex life or his occasional dates with women. I wish I had Holt's devil-may-care attitude. He went online to find guys to hook up with, but I was still nervous, paranoid even, about being found out as gay. I was constantly horny though, and my state made me attracted to pretty much half the guys I saw. I loved campus in the summer. It was quieter, for sure, and the people around, whether students or staff, were generally in a relaxed mood. I spent most of my time in the athletic center or at the baseball facilities and got to bond with a lot of guys on the team. My freshman year had been great in a lot of ways, but I still didn't have a lot of friends. I felt like I was still finding my place. Having the team in my life was like having a family of sorts. Sometimes it was socializing on the weekend, sometimes it was just having guys to talk to about school, or girls, or whatever. The parties were even better in the summer. A lot of people lived off campus, having a few people over, impromptu, on a weeknight. There was usually a good mix of people, which you don't always find during the school year, when groups and cliques sort of separate out. At least I had my former roommate and still buddy Tim. He took me to a couple of out-there art school parties in the spring. I stuck out like a sore thumb there, but it was kind of fun for a change of pace. Mid June Holt took me to a house party that was definitely a football crowd. There'd been a football camp for the team, and the guys were blowing off a little steam after a couple of hard days in the Virginia heat. Holt and I arrived at sundown, and even then, the heat was still persistent. The grill was fired up, there were coolers of beer, and even a few kegs. Holt fit right in as there were boisterous yells all around, "Bulldozer has arrived!" Holt got bro-hugs from his teammates as he introduced me, beers immediately put in our hands as we easily mingled into the crowd. Being an athlete meant I had a lot in common with these guys, but football jocks sometimes felt like a different breed from us baseball jocks. Definitely more popular and, I don't know, more alpha. Or alpha wannabe. But I was in a good mood, and they were, too. It was a fun party, soaked in plenty of alcohol but not too crazy. At one point Holt found me alone, leaned up against the wall in the main room watching the crowd and enjoying the music. He came and leaned up next to me, matching my posture as he handed me a fresh, cold draft of beer in a plastic cup. "Find a hot one, McGrath?" he teased in a low whisper as I took a long, foamy sip. He was more comfortable about his fondness for dude sex on the down-low than I was, and managed to pursue guys without causing trouble for himself. I shook my head. "Nah," I said. "Just enjoying the party." Then leaning down, I clasped my hand on his beefy shoulder and whispered, "What? You think I can't think about anything but sex?" I had a smile on my face that let Holt know I was kidding and he laughed along. "Dude," he said, taking a sip from his beer, "It's me you're talking to." He winked. "You're the best buddy I could have," I said, clinking his plastic cup. "I'm serious, bro. Without you, I'm not sure I would have come out of my shell." I had to admit the gay thing, and my attraction to Dad, had weighed heavily on me this last year, and Holt's more nonchalant approach to sex did me a world of good. "I'm not sure you're out of it, McGrath." "No?" Thrown a little off guard. "If you were, you'd be scoping these hot jocks for a good lay." "Yeah, Holt, like they're looking for that." I loved Charlie's outgoing nature, but he had a tendency to talk like every guy was gay or at least open to dude sex. He gave me a sly look, and I knew he had a trump card in our repartee. "Well, there's one dude here looking for that. He was asking me about you." I half spit my beer back into my cup. "You're pulling my leg." "Have I ever lied to you?" he asked in sincerity. "You got me there. Who is it?" He leaned back against the wall. Part of me hated his smug expression, but part of me recognized it as Holt being his playful self. "Look who's into the football jocks now," he teased. He saw my frustrated expression and nodded slyly in a direction across the room. "All right, buddy," he said in a low voice. "See that guy over there by the TV? Tall black dude?" I saw him all right. Shaved head, 6'5" and built solid - football solid. His Cavs football T was so snug, hugging every muscle as it looked like it'd been spray painted onto him. "Yep," I said, and was rewarded when the jock looked over our way with a sly smile as his dark eyes immediately caught my stare. He was in mid conversation with a teammate. I looked away for a second, but as I looked back up, he was still smiling with his eyes locking with mine once more. "Josiah Barnett, junior, wide receiver, Bi and a powerhouse in the sack," Charlie fed me his vital info as the football stud and I continued to trade stares and the occasional impish smile. "He asked about you, I played dumb, but said I'd introduce you two, if you wanted." "Man, he's hot," I said. I was normally cautious about hooking up with other students, but the beer and whiskey had me turned on while scoping out the muscled guy. "Yeah? Wasn't sure you'd go for him. Come on," he tugged at my arm and we casually made our way across the crowded room. Not directly to Josiah but near enough. The guy didn't take long to join our conversation. "Hey, Charlie," he greeted his teammate with that signature football hand clasp. His voice was low and smooth with a deep Southern accent, and I watched his eyes immediately dart to me as he slightly licked his lips. "Hey J.B., this is Jim, my roommate. He's a baseball jock, but don't hold that against him." Josiah's grip was strong and I did my best to return it in strength and confidence. My athletic tank let him watch my bare arm flex as I gripped his hand. He was definitely taking in my fit body with his eyes. Not in an over-the-top way, but I knew he was into me, as I was into him. "I don't know how you put up with this sarcastic sonabitch," he winked, reluctantly letting my hand go as he nodded over at Charlie. Charlie feigned indignation. "I'll just go somewhere where my wit is appreciated. You men need a refill?" He held up his near-empty plastic cup. "I'm good," Josiah said, a smirk on his face as he practically refused to take his eyes off me. "Me too," I said. Truth be, I could use another, but didn't want to break the connection. This felt fun. Surreptitiously flirty, like I'd not experienced in this context. Now I knew how straight guys felt at college parties. Charlie smiled and gave me an encouraging pat on the shoulder as he made his way back through the party. "I've seen you `round," Josiah said with a deep drawl as he edged his body a little closer to mine and leaned against the wall. His biceps were incredible, enviously bigger than mine, bulging knots of muscle that stretched his Virginia Football T-shirt. All of him was a tower of athletic brawn, standing two inches above me with at least twenty more pounds of hard muscle. "Yeah?" I asked, smirking as I drank the last of my beer. "I didn't think you football guys ever noticed the rest of us." I hope it didn't come across as hostile, but the demi-god status of the football team was a long-running joke with guys on my team. He arched his eyebrows. "When they look like you, yeah..." Throwing his interest right out there. "I would have noticed you, too," I said. The confirmation he was looking for. He leaned in just a bit closer. "I got a cozy dorm room we can go to," he joked with a shit-eating grin. As his body got closer to mine I could detect the cologne he had on, a clean almost citrusy scent. His muscle looked amazing in his snug T-shirt, too, and I tried not to be intimidated by his size. "I got an empty apartment," I said. "Even better." "Cool," he smiled and soon we were making our way out of the party. The only one who seemed to notice was Holt as he raised his cup at me with a smile, a wink, and a nod. On the walk back to my place, we made small talk. About his football camp, his hometown, and how I knew Holt. (Purposely leaving out the fuck-buddy details.) Josiah had a flirty but easygoing vibe about him, and I felt excited I was about to actually make it with this tall hunk. "Just to be clear," he said as we got closer. "I got a girl." "That's cool," I said. "I do, too." It was remarkable I'd gone through the whole evening forgetting about Kristen. But not surprising. It occurred to me maybe Josiah didn't want to go through with a hookup. "Um, if you don't wanna..." I started to say. "Oh, I wanna," the football hunk grinned. His drawl was turning me on, his voice was smooth and honeylike while also being deep. "We're cool, Jim." As I ushered us into my place, I felt relieved and glad this was happening. Josiah's wide-receiver hands felt amazing under my tank as we stumbled into my dark bedroom. I quickly turned on the small lamp next to my bed, the room now filling with a soft glow as Josiah easily pulled me back into his massive frame. His skilled, athletic hands groped me with appreciation, gently massaging each muscle as I admired his football body through his tight shirt. But his mouth felt and tasted even better, connecting with mine in drunk, horny kisses. He was sensual the way he sucked at my lips and tongue, claiming my mouth as I swear his whiskey-laden tongue was counting my teeth. I loved that this bisexual jock was into kissing, and it was very hot making out with a guy taller than me. I kicked off my shoes and Josiah helped me take off my tank top. "Nice," he muttered with deep lust, his hands feeling my exposed and lightly furred chest and then sliding down my muscled arms before he sank down to his knees. I watched him kiss the cut of my iliac furrow, just above the waist of my shorts as his talented fingers quickly unzipped me. Getting blown was the last thing I was expecting this evening, and this strapping wide receiver was the last guy I'd expect to be doing the honors. But with a sharp tug, he pulled down my shorts and briefs to my knees. My hard dick swung out, bobbing a bit with excitement. Josiah wrapped his fingers around the shaft, giving me a gentle stroke. "Fuck, now that's a baseball bat," he said with a wide grin as he looked up at me. He held my eyes as he brought the head to his lips. I watched his fat, pink tongue start licking and sucking my hard fat dick, wrapping around the head, lapping at the oozing precum at the slit. I looked down over my nude upper body. My hands cradled Josiah's shaved smooth scalp as he sucked on a few inches of my cock, back and forth between my legs, getting a nice bobbing motion. His lips looked so hot wrapped around my shaft as his tongue massaged the underside of my cock head. I groaned as his hands felt up my body, gripping my pecs and digging at my taut abs. I think he had trouble with my girth, but I wasn't expecting a deep throat BJ. It felt just fine as it was. Real fucking fine. The alcohol postponed my trigger and I was grateful we could take our time. I tried not to let my libido get the best of me and just thrust into his mouth. I just let my caressing fingers on his scalp tell him his mouth felt so fucking good. He finally gave my cock a puckered kiss as it fell from his lips. I breathed excitedly as this football jock stood up and peeled off his shirt in one smooth motion. He raised his arms as the poly blended material brought his amazing body into full view. "Jesus Christ..." I muttered, as my hands immediately caressed the rounded, sculpted muscles. His smooth, chocolate brown skin felt like satin and practically glistened in the low light of my bedside lamp. His entire frame was packed with brawn as I groped each inch, Josiah flexing his muscle under my touch as he smirked at my admiration. We were both fit athletes but the differences in our genetics and sport made us different versions of collegiate athletes. I was in shape and muscular, but in comparison to this NFL-bound stud, I was closer to a normal build. He seemed like a god towering over me as he fiddled with his own shorts, unzipping and letting them fall to his feet. He was wearing a pair of black, athletic boxer briefs that stretched around every detail of his heavy football cock. Seeing the fat outline in his underwear, I knew J.B. wasn't crazy-hung like Dad, but he had a thick and long cock that measured just shy of my length. I looked up at him. He smirked and nodded. I dragged my hands down his heavily muscled and ridged upper body. J.B. pulled me into another kiss as my hands dug under the elastic of his underwear as I finally wrapped my fingers around his leaking, thick, cut cock. He groaned deeply into my mouth as I slid the thin fabric off his ass and down his powerful thighs. Josiah gripped my taut waist possessively as he released my mouth. His wet lips brushed my neck as I looked down between us. Pressed against my thigh was his hard, dark-brown cock topped with a glistening purple-pink head. I let out a pleased sigh at the sight of it, and Josiah let out his own hiss as my pale fingers stroked the fat shaft with wonder. If there was any doubt about whether I should be dating a woman, it was out the window. I loved being with a man sexually and in every way. There was just no comparison. I tilted my head back towards Josiah's and met him for another kiss, not letting his cock go until he backed me toward the bed. "So Jim..." His voice was now somehow deeper. "I don't wanna be presumptuous, but I'd love to tap that fine, white, baseball ass." His wide hands claimed my buns in their grip. As powerful and confident as his handshake earlier. It hadn't been fucked since my first time, over an amazing weekend with LCDR Jack Grant. Since then, I'd had enjoyed oral sex and topping a couple of guys, but I missed the feeling of a dick in my ass, both physically and emotionally. And I kept thinking about Holt's comments about Josiah being a powerhouse sexually. I ran my hands up his knotted arms. "I'd be up for that. Take it easy, though." I cautioned. Josiah was over an inch longer than Jack, and thick. He smiled his bright smile as I felt his fingers begin to dig into my ass, zeroing in on my hole. "Definitely. A dude as fine as you deserves to be treated right." He was quite the sweet talker. From anyone else it would seem corny or insincere. But his smooth, rich voice and his accent had me in goosebumps as I held his boulder-sized shoulders. His body pressed me back onto my full-size bed, crawling backwards as he crawled over me. We kissed again, my hands roaming his wide back, our large legs tangling as he ground his cock against mine with steady force and rhythm, smearing our abs with our liquid lust for each other. I really did enjoy feeling a taller, more muscular man on top of me. It was a big rush and a nice change from the pairings I usually had. Finally, J.B. pulled his tongue from my mouth, kissing down my jaw and neck, then licking at my ripped baseball-built abdomen. I sighed with lust, my hands gently running over his smooth head as his nose soon nuzzled in my blond hairs. He kissed and licked at the base my cock and ballsac before making his way down further. He caressed my thighs before he hiked my legs up, pushing them back against my torso. He almost folded me in half, and I hooked my arms around my knees. "Dayum, that's beautiful," he growled to himself as he eyed my newly exposed hole. Fuck, it had been so long since I'd had my ass eaten out. And now that I knew that I was about to get it, the anticipation was almost unbearable. I felt my hole pucker involuntarily, which made J.B. groan with delight. "Nice..." he said as his fingers dug into my cleft, pulling at my hole as I felt it pucker once more. He rubbed me with his thumb and licked and bit at the sensitive skin of my high inner thigh. I gasped as my cock pulsed and oozed a stream of precum out of the slit. Josiah locked eyes with me as he took a long swipe up my crack. "Sweet fuckin' hole," he moaned. Then he dove in with a growl and started licking my exposed pucker with his forceful tongue. Fuck... I missed this. I let my head fall back, my eyes shutting as I let out a soft moan. Josiah's fingers pulled me apart for his mouth, his tongue sensual and rhythmic, just like his kisses. I whimpered just a bit as I felt my hole flex and tremble as he expertly pressed fat tongue into me. "That's it, Jim," he said as he kissed my deep pink hole. "Open up." I whimpered just a bit louder as I felt him lock his lips around my chute, his tongue slipping into me again. I wouldn't rank him as the best cocksucker, he was below-average in skills there, but to this day he's in my personal top 3 when it comes to asseating. He kept me back on the mattress, legs raised and spread while he munched and licked his way around and into my hole. The alcoholic dullness in my head fought the distinct and powerful sensations in my now wet and relaxed hole. It was a great and euphoric combination that had me begging for his prick. "You got lube?" he asked as he licked at my now open hole. I reached into the drawer of my bedside table and pulled out my trusty tube of slick. J.B. kissed my hole one last time before leaning back up on his knees. I kept my legs up as he squirted a generous dollop on my pulsing chute, rubbing it in with tight circles. He watched as he let just his fingertip enter me. I bit my lip, now knowing that I needed to get fucked. It'd been so long, and I needed it. "It's hungry, Jim," he groaned as he quickly slicked up his dick and tossed the lube across the bed. He gripped his shaft and ran his cock head up and down my crack, smearing everything in a layer of slick. I gasped as I felt the hot head of his cock press at my tight hole. Again, I felt my hole pucker. "Yeah, kiss that cock, `bout to make you feel real good, Jim... Real good, I promise." The pressure increased as I willed my hole to relax. I let out a soft moan as I felt my hole give, finally stretching as it smoothly swallowed the fat head. "That's a fuckin' beautiful sight, Jim," Josiah groaned with a smirk, letting me adjust to his girth. "Go slow," I gasped, reminding him that he said he'd be easy. He slowly began to feed me his thick, 7 and a half inches. Although he took his time entering me, I was drunk and horny, and I was soon wanting that large cock wedged inside me. Josiah delivered, and the more he pushed in me, the more I found myself bucking my ass toward his crotch. "Fuck yes," I cried as I finally felt his tightly curled pubes pressing into my taint. I felt the exciting fullness of a cock in me for the first time in almost a year. The stud leaned over me, propping his upper body up on his outstretched arms as I wrapped my legs around his waist, tightening and holding his cock in place. The football player let out a low growl and smiled. "I didn't know you baseball guys had such hungry holes. Fuck!" He ground his pelvis into my ass, letting his cock rotate just a bit inside me, making me gasp with surprise. In another mood, the words would have rubbed me the wrong way, but just then, given my sexual state and the pleasurable sensations in my asshole, they excited me. "Give me that dick, man. I'm so fucking horny!" J.B.'s hips overpowered my legs, pulling back as few inches, dragging his fat prick out before he pushed his hips squarely into me, reaching and rubbing all new places inside me. "Awww... fuck," I moaned, as I wrapped my arms around his neck, Josiah loving the look of contorted pleasure on my face. Yeah, I'd missed this, more than I knew. "I got ya, Jim," the wide receiver hissed and repeated his determined shove into me, rolling his hips, letting his cock rub and press into just the right spots. If I were sober I'd have been getting the wind knocked out of me, but this fuck was feeling just right. I let my hands run down his neck as I felt up every inch of hard gridiron muscle I could get my fingers on. Josiah's smooth, dark brawn felt incredibly hard and warm to the touch, and I loved feeling the muscles contract in his full body movements. Powerhouse wasn't an exaggeration. "Man, you're fucking tight," he growled and started just hammering my ass, his sweaty groin slapping my ass. His strokes were as smooth as his voice, but full of strength, too. I'd feel sore the next morning, I was sure, but at that moment I wanted this wide receiver hunk to fuck me off. "God yeah, fuck me... Just like that... Aww fuck... give it to me... Ungh... Ngh... Nhhm... that dick's so good.... Hot fucking cock." Hell, if I wasn't so drunk, I don't think I would have been this verbal. My words seemed to work for my top, though. Josiah growled and scooted us up into a different position, me more curled back as he leaned up on his knees. He pied one of my legs from around his waist, gripping me by the ankle as he angled his thrusts downward as my ass was now more raised, The new angle hit all new spots as I moaned in complete lust. The man was incredible and I watched the football stud's body writhe with each thrust. I gripped the bedding above my head as our breathing got deeper. He thrust into me wildly, rhythmically, almost pulling all the way out before stuffing me full again. I watched his teeth clench and his nostrils flare as he grunted with each thrust. I could tell he was going to come soon. His hard body was becoming dewy from the exertion of our coupling, and his brown eyes looked down at me with intensity and almost a look of possession. "So fuckin' hot," he growled. I reached down and grabbed my leaking, dripping cock and started tugging at it, letting the sexual pleasure rise up in me, goaded by that powerful cock punching in and out, hitting that special spot nestled just inside me. Jesus, this guy was a good top. I felt my orgasm come in lapping waves. Not arriving all at once, the pleasure pulsed in me in successive bursts, each one stronger than the next. The sensations got stronger and faster and then I felt it. An incredible climax rocked my body as I blasted my seed in long jets of my jism. I lost my voice as my face contorted, rocked by the intense pleasure being pounded into me. I forgot that cumming with my prostate stimulated made me shoot far and heavy, and I was getting my buttnut jackhammered just then. My breath hitched as my heavy shots blasted across my neck and chin, feeling like it was Josiah's cock that was pushing it out of me. "Fuck yes, brother," J.B. grunted, still pounding hard and heavy into my wide-open asshole, grinning at the sight of my cock now blasting my seed onto my chest. I got to see his lip curl and his brow furrow as the man got his nut too. He let out a loud growl of conquest through clenched teeth. "Sweet Jesus!" he gasped, his voice sounding raspy and even vulnerable as he rode out his powerful wave of pleasure. I'd almost forgotten the feeling of a dick expanding and pulsing as it unloaded between my clenching anal walls. Josiah gave me a shallow thrust with every shot, making sure that I was seeded deep. Fuck, this was hot. I felt his hips slow and saw him still recovering from the sensation, the tightness of his face finally relaxing. I had a good feeling J.B. had shot an incredible amount of spunk in me. "Damn," he drawled, watching as he slowly withdrew his still plump cock. "That's an amazing ass you got there, Jim... Fuck." I felt my hole push the head out. Yeah, I was gonna be feeling it tomorrow. I dropped my legs as Josiah plopped down next to me on his back as well, smiling like he'd won the lottery. His dark penis looked even more impressive in his post-fuck remnants of a hardon, slick with his fresh seed. "I didn't think I was gonna get lucky tonight. At least not with a dude as hot as you." "I could say the same," I breathed, feeling happy. "Been a while since I've been laid like that." He looked at me with a mixture of contentment and curiosity. "I could tell you weren't cherry, but motherfuck you're tight, man. Fucking mindblowing ass." "You made it worth bottoming," I said. "I don't do it often." "Glad you made an exception. I saw you at that athlete's banquet last fall and have been dreaming about getting up inside your perfect ass ever since." "Really?" I was flattered. "Hell yeah. When I saw Charlie with you, I thought maybe you were on the same team." "I try to keep a low profile, but, yeah..." I was able to get a look at this hot man up close, his features both boyish and handsome. His skin was just flawless. "That's cool," he said. "My girl's away for the summer. Haven't been able to talk her into anal," he chuckled. "I can see why," I said. "You're pretty hung." His fingers curled around my rod, now sated and resting on my thigh. "You too, man. I was glad you didn't try to claim top bunk." Our eyes met and our faces met again for a nice kiss. Josiah's kisses were a perfect end to follow up our pairing. I got us a rag to wipe down, and we both enjoyed the chance to rest naked in my bed after that hard fuck. "Josiah..." I ventured. "Can I ask a personal question?" He looked at me, unsure where I was going with this. "Sure," he said cautiously. "The bi thing..." I started. "How does that work for you?" He got a more serious expression. "I don't give it too much thought. I got needs, and my girl's not around. I only mess around with guys I think I can trust." "Oh yeah, that's a must," I replied. I am pretty sure J.B. thought I was coming from the straight side of things, experimenting with guys, but I thought maybe hearing from another truly bisexual guy could give me insight into Dad. "Did you ever think you could have something serious with a guy?" I asked, trying to hide my nervousness. He looked more closely at my expression trying to read me. He answered slowly. "Shit no, it's just getting my rocks off. When things get more serious with a woman, I know I'll have to cool it with guys or at least be real fucking careful, you know?" I nodded, as if I did. "Thanks," I said, appreciative of his candor. I could see the wheels turning in Josiah's head as he was now starting to recognize me as a closeted gay guy. "I don't stay over at a dude's place," he added. "Nothing personal." "OK," I replied. I wouldn't have minded having a warm body sleeping next to me, but I had no expectations. Already the sex had surpassed my hopes. He leaned up. "But you're the kind of guy who'd make me consider making an exception." God, even after getting his nut, Josiah could be a flirty dude. "Maybe next time," I said noncommittally. "If you want one." "Again... not my style... nothing personal." "Got it," I said, a little sad I wouldn't be able to get a repeat fuck, but I respected the ground rules he set up for man-on-man sex. "All right," he said. "Gotta go." He rolled off the bed and I watched him slip his boxer briefs back on, then his T-shirt and shorts. "It's been fun meeting you, Jim, see you around." I got up to show him out, unconcerned with my nudity. "Take care, man," he said. He kissed me again, soft and sensual, far more romantic than his player demeanor suggested. "Good night," I said before he stepped back out into the warm Virginia night. I heard Holt come home a half hour later. I guess my bedroom door was still cracked, because he rapped lightly on it. "Come in." I sat in my bed surfing the net on my laptop. I had some baseball shorts on now, not that Holt hadn't seen me nude a bunch of times already. He propped himself against the door frame as he folded his arms. "You luck out, buddy?" I grinned. "Um, yeah. We did it." I didn't like the idea of talking about sex with a guy who might want to keep it private, but I figured J.B. and Holt had some history. "Am I a good wingman or what?" Charlie grinned. "The best, Holt," I replied with an equally large grin. ***** It was another month until I got laid again. It was another party. A different kind of crowd than Holt and I usually hung out with. More upperclassmen, kind of a nerdier bunch. But they had a keg and it wasn't the cheap stuff either. Holt called it an early night. I got the feeling he'd lined up some guy online, but I didn't press him for details. I stayed at the party and got wasted. Like two beers past the point where I should have stopped. I was in the kitchen talking with one of the hosts, an engineering student named Jason. Thinner and shorter than me, brown hair, ruddy cheeks with dimples. He was cute, and through my beer goggles he looked even cuter. "This is some good beer, man," I slurred. "Thanks for letting me crash your party." He laughed, revealing that perfect smile. "What's a party if some guy doesn't crash it, right?" I couldn't tell, but it seemed like he was being flirty. Then again, maybe he was just conversing. I held up my plastic cup. "I've probably had too many of these big boys." Jason looked at me, a little concerned. "Yeah, you're not looking so hot, man." He patted my shoulder and went over to get some water in an empty cup. "Here, drink this. Maybe you should go lie down in my room for a minute." I was feeling a little dizzy. I sipped the water and nodded. I barely remember it, but Jason guided me down the hall. His bed felt comfy as I plopped down on it. "You going be OK?" he asked, kind of laughing at me. Maybe he was more than tipsy, too. He was so friggin' cute. "Yep. Just drunk as hell," I grunted. He started to leave me there, but I reached out and gripped his forearm, stopping him. ".... and horny." He seemed shell shocked, and he gave me a disapproving look. "Come on, bud, I'll suck your dick," I urged. I had no filter now. I'd spent too much time without sex, and it was all coming out in my drunkenness. "Shh... quiet, man!" Jason urged me. He wriggled free of my grip and I watched him go shut his room door and lock it. I grinned. "Fuck yeah," I said, trying to keep my voice quiet. "Someone wants his dick sucked." If I'd been more sober I would have recognized the look on his face. Anxious and wrestling with something he wasn't sure about. But at that moment I saw only a horny, cute engineering student taking off his shirt. I fumbled with my clothes too, less successfully but I finally wriggled free of my shorts and briefs, leaving me in just my snug T. "I can't believe this," Jason said as he undid his shorts and pulled them off along with his underwear. I wasn't sure if he was referring to the fact he had a baseball jock in his bed or that he was going to join me. Our bodies connected and we made out. Sloppy, horny kisses. Jason's dick was neither big nor small but it was hard as a spike against my erection as we rolled around on the bed. I was finally on top of him. Looking back, maybe I could have fucked the dude, he was looking up in my eyes with such hunger, but then again he seemed very green. "Hold still, buddy," I said and kissed my way down his slender torso. He was smoother than me and I felt the heat of his skin against my lips and the contractions in his abdomen as he writhed against me, half ticklish. I wanted to suck dick, and Jason's was a good size for it. A nice switch from the challenge of Robert McGrath. Here was a guy, hard for me, a normal dick... and I was in heaven as I opened up and started blowing this guy I barely knew. Jason grunted excitedly for the next minute and a half, his hands tentatively holding my head as he let out excited breaths and gasps. I felt his body tense up. And just like that, I was getting fed the cute guy's seed. I knelt up on my haunches and flogged away. Jerking as I savored the sweet taste of cum in my mouth. I could see the look on Jason's face. Curious. Like he'd never sucked dick before but wanted to. I scooted up and straddled his chest. I pushed my fat erection down and he met me halfway, licking me, then taking me into his mouth. Sometimes it takes me a long time to come when I'm drunk and I was surprised I was able to get off at all given my state. Jason wasn't even that good a cocksucker, lamely bobbing his head and a few inches and trying to avoid scraping his teeth on me. But I hadn't jerked off much that week and it all came pumping out of me, firing into his mouth. He pushed me off, terrified. "Dude," he grunted. He was pissed I came in his mouth. He quickly spit out my cum out into a spare shirt. "Sorry," I said. "It's OK," he replied, still a little peeved. I lay back on the bed. The room spun. I shut my eyes and it was better. I kept them shut, feeling my body adjust. Then I fell asleep. I woke up alone in the bed the next morning, hungover as hell. I threw the sheet off and quickly noticed I was naked from the waist down. Fuck, what did I do? I wasn't vomiting sick, but I knew I wouldn't be having breakfast, or lunch for that matter. As I found my clothes and put them on, the events of the previous evening came back to me. "Shit," I said, rubbing my eyes. I got dressed and made sure I had my phone, keys, and wallet. Sheepishly, I made my way out into the hall and into the apartment. Thankfully Jason's roommates weren't hanging around. Jason was on the living room couch, a sheet over him. He stirred as I stepped on the creaky hardwood floor. "Hey," he said in his morning voice. "Sorry I put you out of your bed," I apologized. He shrugged. "You were pretty drunk. I figured you need to sleep it off." "Well, thanks. I owe you, man." He sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He had on a Virginia T-shirt that looked baggy on his thin frame. "You know, I got a girlfriend." He sounded pained and annoyed with me. "Yeah, I do, too," I said. I felt real low. I mean, I'd slept with Josiah, who also had a girlfriend, and Glen, who was married, but both those men were more than willing. And there was whatever I was doing with Kristen in our phone conversations and texts that summer. But I felt like I'd dragged Jason into something he regretted. And I knew I regretted getting so hammered. "Listen... I was wasted, we were wasted. It just happened." He looked up, giving me a slight nod. He knew it was BS but was glad I was saying it. "All right, I should go," I said. "Yeah, take care." I was a little freaked out after that night. I'd acted foolishly. I couldn't stay in the closet and be so out of control like that. From then on, I was a lot more careful in how much I drank. I learned my limits. I got buzzed but not wasted. It was a good decision all around, but mostly I did it because I was afraid that the real Jim McGrath would show himself at the worst time.