Date: Tue, 4 May 2021 11:02:10 +0000
From: Bill Drake <billdrake@hotmail.com>
Subject: Naval Tradition Revised 23

Naval Tradition
REVISED EDITION

Bill Drake (billdrake@hotmail.com)
with Corporal Cody


NOTICE: THE FOLLOWING IS FOR ADULTS ONLY. It is gay erotic fiction
explicitly depicting sexual acts between men, including male relatives. If
that offends or disturbs you, read no further.



Thanks to all the great work that the Nifty Archive does and the writers it
publishes. Please consider supporting them with a donation.


This is the revised and retconned version of Naval Tradition, told in
chronological order. While the overall story is the same, there is lot of
new content here (and some of the old parts didn't make the cut in this
version). This revision has been a collaboration with fellow writer
Corporal Cody. My thanks to him for his considerable contributions to and
inspiration for this version.


Feel free to drop a line if you enjoy it: billdrake@hotmail.com. I hope to
have an ebook version at the end of this, so you can let me know if you
want to be on the mailing list for that.




NAVAL TRADITION
Bill Drake, with Corporal Cody




PART FOUR: BACK TO NORMAL


Chapter Twenty-Three
Norfolk, Easter 2004



The Orioles weren't doing so hot.

We sat in the living room, Dad, me, and my older brother Matt, watching
them lose to Tampa Bay, who were not a strong team. Dad had grown up an
Orioles fan, and they were my team, too. Well, them and the Twins, my Uncle
Mike's first team as a pro in the 80s. As a kid, I'd dreamed of playing
shortstop like Cal Ripken. That is, until Mike McGrath's career as a second
baseman gave me a new role model and idol.

"Jesus, I don't know that I can take another season of this," Dad said in
frustration from his recliner, shaking his head as we listened to the color
commentator drone on. The O's were having a string of lousy seasons lately.

"Another beer, Dad?" Matt asked as he stood up from his seat on the sofa
with his empty bottle.

Dad held his up, as if deciding whether he should have another. He
nodded. "Sure. Thanks, Matt."

My older brother looked over at me with a playful smirk. "I'm not even
gonna ask if you want another, Squirt, I already know the answer."

"Hey!" I laughed and half-objected as Matt stepped around the sofa. "Maybe
I'm trying to work off my winter weight." I had recovered from my knee
injury like I expected, and was nearly back to playing baseball. Coach T
was being conservative about easing me back into the lineup, using me as a
pinch hitter. After almost six month on the bench, I was happy to be
playing again. Ecstatic even. Going to practice, being on the field,
hanging with my teammates - it helped me keep my mind off Dad, really. But
I still had about five pounds of injury weight I wanted off.

"It's Easter weekend, Jim," Matt countered from behind me, and I knew he'd
be bringing me a beer, too.

As my brother left the room, I snuck a look over at Dad from my seat on the
far end of the sofa. Sitting back in his recliner, he had on an old and
worn out Navy PT shirt that fell loose and stretched as it hung off his
muscular and bulky built frame, especially his large shoulders and mounded
chest. On his waist, he had on a pair of equally worn and loose khaki
shorts.

My father cut a notably strong profile - thick, knotted brow, his stark
Roman nose, his thin lips, and strong jaw, the way his Adam's apple bobbed
from his thick neck as he drank the last of his beer bottle. His hair was
freshly cut, nothing buzzed, but short and within Navy regulation. He liked
to keep the top longer, parting it to the side with product. But today, Dad
let his hair fall naturally, which still fell into the Navy style he liked
- like I always remembered him having. Only now he had greying streaks in
his thick dark brown hair and across his temples.

As he leaned back in his recliner and let his legs spread out in front of
him, the hem of his shorts rode up his thighs and I could make out the
knotted quad and wide calf muscle, and the marvelous coating of dark hair
that covered his legs and ran down across his feet. My gaze drifted higher
to the prominent mound of his crotch as I imagined, and remembered, the
amazing cock that my father has - large, beautiful, powerful.

I quickly looked back at the TV, chastising myself for these thoughts. I
was not going to lust after the man, I told myself.

Things were complicated enough after Mexico. A year and a half earlier, at
my brother Paul's wedding, I put myself out there and made a move on Dad
sexually. And a month ago, Dad reciprocated, fully, in five amazing days
over my Spring Break in Cancun, just the two of us. That week we had the
most incredible sex, the best in my life, coupled with an emotionally
powerful connection, too.

Too powerful. I was crushed out on my father, maybe in love with him,
too. Even after weeks of being back in Virginia, I still wasn't totally
sure just how deep my feelings got. But by the end of our time in Mexico,
we both knew we had to stop. I'd played with fire and gotten burned, giving
into desires that would only make me unhappy and keep making me
unhappy. Desires that were in danger of messing up the father-son
relationship that was the bedrock of my life.

I guess after the highs of a week with Dad over Spring Break, the comedown
was inevitably going to be hard. Deep down, I knew it couldn't last, this
thing that Dad and I had going on. I knew I had to get back to some kind of
real life - school, baseball, hanging with my friends... a normal life. But
normal in a more profound way. You know, not being an incestuous pervert.

Dad had changed, too. Since that trip, he still called me every week to
talk, just like before, but he was less chatty. But the more he called, the
more I actually began to see his side of things. He was making a conscious
effort not to be withdrawn, like he'd been after Paul's wedding. But at the
same time, he was putting some distance between us. I could hear it in the
tone of his voice as we talked. It was tough for him. And even as I was
wrestling with my own emotions, I felt awful that I'd made things tough for
him as well.

The path of least resistance would have been for me to stay at school for
Easter weekend. Dad was scheduled to ship out to sea soon, though, at the
beginning of June. I knew I'd see him at Matt's commissioning in May, but
when Dad called me and casually asked if I was coming down for Easter, I
knew what was on his mind - he wanted some time with me before his
deployment, father-son time. Despite my apprehension, I couldn't say no.

***

As it turned out, my brother Paul would be spending the holiday with
Megan's family, but at least I would have Matt in Norfolk as a buffer. Matt
had taken the slight detour on his way home from Annapolis and picked me up
after my Friday afternoon game. He showed up at my apartment door, cheekily
grinning as I hugged him before introducing him to Holt, who was getting
ready to head back home to Daleville for Easter weekend. Holt seemed a bit
surprised learning that I was Matt's baby brother, since I was clearly
taller with notably more muscle. The Naval Academy had kept Matt lean, but
I knew he had strength in his lithe swimmer's build. Matt wasn't Paul's
meathead type or the muscle-jock type I ended up being.

Matt was in his last year at the Naval Academy. And now that he was closer
to his commissioning, Matt was in a lighter mood than I'd seen him in a few
years. I'll admit, it was still a little odd seeing Matt with a Navy
Academy crew cut at times, as I remembered his shaggy chestnut brown hair
from his youth. But while he now outwardly looked like a first class
midshipman, the Academy's college senior, the mischievous spark in his blue
eyes told me that he was still the playful extrovert he'd always been.

Once we were on the road, he and I easily slipped back into being close
brothers, catching up on just about everything. I did talk to him on the
phone, but it wasn't the same as seeing him in person. I'd almost forgotten
how hysterically funny he could be. He had a way of telling stories about
his buddies or just random midshipmen at the Academy that had me in
stitches. In high school, Matt was always the guy who managed to get away
with a lot because he had a natural charm and because knew how to stop just
shy of breaking the rules too much. I gathered discipline was a bigger deal
at the Academy, but at least he hadn't lost his fun-loving self or his
cynical, wisecracking side. I gathered that he was still the popular guy in
his class, easily making friends at the Academy with his outgoing
personality and sense of humor.

I ribbed him for the shitty emo music he'd gotten into, but Matt just gave
a sly grin as his eyes stayed on the road. "Bro, it's just `cause you don't
have to impress the girls. They eat that sensitive-guy act right up."

I laughed. In high school, Matt always had a different girlfriend every
other month, and I could tell his girl-chasing ways hadn't
changed. "Another reason to be gay," I said, glad Matt was more laid-back
about things now. When I'd come out to him, it was during his first year at
Annapolis. I'm not entirely sure what kind of environment it was, being a
freshman at a military school, but when I told him I was gay, he seemed
almost... cold - not mean about it, but not really supportive either.

The change in his attitude toward my being gay must have been on his mind
as well. His smile turned into a serious expression. "Listen, Jim... I have
to apologize. I was kind of a dick when you came out to me, and maybe since
then.... I just, well, I guess I didn't think of you that way, and it kind
of took me by surprise. And I guess I have some issues to work through."

"It's cool," I said, feeling almost like I was 15 again and wanting my big
brother's approval once more. "But thanks, Matt. That means a lot."

He was silent for a second, then asked, "You doing OK, bro? Seeing
anybody?"

"Nah," I said, shaking my head as I looked out the window. "I gotta stay in
the closet for now. I guess I have to find a guy who can accept that."

"Damn, that's tough," my brother said as he sighed.

"Yep," I agreed, shrugging my shoulders - it is the way it is. "But I guess
I'll know in a couple of years whether professional baseball is in the
cards."

"You're gonna go pro, Jim. I'm sure of it," Matt said encouragingly. "But
dammit you shouldn't be a monk," he said, almost reprimanding me.

"Oh, I'm not, believe me," I said, and blushed immediately after.

"All right," my brother chuckled. This was definitely not the Matt from a
year ago. "You may have better odds than me right now, bro," he said. "The
ratio of men to women in Annapolis is insane."

That had to be tough. Even then, I suspected Matt had his share of luck. My
brother and I had been told more than once that we'd both hit the jackpot
with the McGrath good looks - Matt getting Dad's brown hair, while I ended
up blond like the men on mom's side.

We made good time on the road and soon were pulling into the familiar roads
of Norfolk. Dad stepped outside the moment we pulled into the old
driveway. He was noticeably happy to see us and gave us both hugs as we got
out of Matt's car. Dad told Matt that he was looking forward to pinning on
his ensign shoulder boards come May.

"Looking good, Slugger," he said as he gave me a tight paternal hug. "How'd
your game go?"

"We lost," I said simply, after we pulled away, before leaning into the
back seat of the car to pull out my duffel bag. "But I was able to get a
couple of at-bats this time."

"The knee feeling all right?" my father asked as he walked us up to the
front door.

"Pretty much," I said. "I'm feeling 95% now. Just staying cautious."

It was about 7:30 and Dad ordered us a pizza and I almost immediately sat
down to watch the Orioles-Tampa Bay baseball game Dad already had on.

Matt stepped into the living room with cold, fresh beer bottles for each of
us. As we all conversed during the ball game, Dad asked Matt, "You looking
forward to Commissioning Week?"

"God yes," Matt chuckled, reclining into the sofa as he let his head fall
back, letting a relieved smile break across his still youthfully cute
face. Matt was gifted academically, like John. In high school, he would
sometimes skate by on talent alone. But as he explained on the drive home,
the Naval Academy was no walk in the park. He loved the guys he'd made
close friends with, but he was ready to move on.

He looked at Dad as he let a small frown form. "Though I'm not sure
Pensacola will be much more exciting than Annapolis." Service Assignment
Day had come the previous November, and Matt got his first choice of Navy
Pilot training.

"No it won't," Dad said, smiling, with a playful reminder that the Navy
required more sacrifice than maybe Matt expected.

"I just feel bad for my buddy Zach...," Matt added, "he's been assigned to
Nuclear."

Dad got a half-reprimanding tone in his voice. "It takes all of it to make
the Navy run, Matt."

"Yeah, I know, Dad," my brother said, his tone in turn deferring to
Dad's. But I watched as he got a little smirk as he added. "Submarine
duty's not as much of a chick magnet as being a pilot, though." He was
joking, but I'm sure it was also true.

Dad chuckled. "Glad you're doing it for the right reasons," he said,
grinning at Matt before taking a swig of beer and turning his attention
back to the game.

Matt turned to me with a playful smile, his dimples on full display as his
blue eyes shone devilishly. "So, baby bro, what's the gay equivalent? What
job makes dudes interested?"

"Baseball player," I dead panned.

Dad laughed.

***

As a baseball fan you can never be too upset seeing your team lose any
particular game. There will be another game tomorrow, or the next day.

But that evening, I was very OK with the O's losing by 1. It was like a
sign that things were normal. That us McGrath men were having regular
family time.

Dad called it a night first. Matt and I stayed up and finished our beers as
we watched late night TV, chatting a little - about life, school, goals,
family. But soon he got up and picked up my empty bottle. "You ready to
call it a night, squirt?" he asked as he yawned.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's been a long day," I said, feeling relaxed and a
little buzzed. I'd gotten up early for a workout and a morning class before
I had my afternoon baseball game, and the day felt like it was finally
catching up with me. I turned off the TV while Matt hit the lights as we
finally made our way upstairs.

It was a little weird being back in my old room. I had put a lot of things
in storage, so the walls, desk, dresser and shelves were sparer now, making
the room look tidier. It felt familiar, but still a reflection of my
younger, high school self. I grabbed my toiletry bag from my duffle and
quietly brushed my teeth in the hallway bathroom before stepping back into
my room and stripping out of my clothes, down to my boxer briefs.

I hit the lights. And as I got under the covers, I thought back to how many
loads I had shot masturbating in this very bed. At one point I did it so
frequently that I thought I had a problem. But eventually I realized I just
had a heavy sex drive - one part teen hormones, one part a natural libido
that stayed with me even now that I was in college.

I felt my dick firming up now, stretching my underwear as I rolled unto my
back. All of a sudden, I wasn't feeling very sleepy anymore. Very quickly I
was going from heavy to fully boned. Since Mexico, I had only my hand for
release. No Bulldozer specials, no affairs with college professors, no
one-off hookups. Thankfully, I'd gotten skilled at pleasuring myself.

My hand felt particularly good as I peeled my boxer briefs down off my hips
and gripped my rigid boner, the smooth skin hot against my palm. Fuck, I
was already leaking. I reached down into my duffle on the floor. I'd packed
a little trail-size tub of Vaseline - I was experimenting with different
lubricants - and enjoyed the thicker viscous feel as I began stroking my
erection. I flung off the covers as I gripped my ballsac with my right hand
and slowly pumped my needy cock in my left. I rolled my head back into my
pillow as I knew just the right spot to rub with just the right grip and
pressure.

I softly shut my eyes as I let out a slow exhale. I knew where my mind
wanted to go. To Dad. To reliving Mexico, or imagining him coming into the
room and fucking me then and there. But even in my horny state, I forced
myself to think of something else.

I knew just what would do the trick. My high school coach, Coach Weir. I
used to feel bad fantasizing about him, because the man was an important
mentor and role model in my life. He was a UVA alum, and had been thrilled
that I'd gone there to play ball. I still kept in touch with him from time
to time.

But eventually, I embraced the fantasy. Tim Weir was hot as fuck. 40 years
old, 5'10", 215 pounds, beefy stud. Thinning brown hair and grey-streaked
temples that accentuated his jowly and tanned masculine face.... Broad nose
and thin lips that I knew would look amazing stretched around my fat
hardon.

I stroked more feverishly now, feeling my slicked fingers catch on the
underside of my flared corona before running over the swollen head and
across my leaking slit. I tugged my sac and listened to my soft but heavy
breath mix with the sound of the low slick strokes of my fist. Not rushing
my JO session, but not holding back or edging either. I had a nut to bust
and my balls tingled as I got deeper in my fantasy with Coach Weir. He had
on his nylon team windbreaker and nothing on from the waist down. In my
head he was bent over that cluttered desk in his office, gripping the edge
of the surface top, looking back at me with his hungry brown eyes. I knew
that if I wanted his Coach's ass, I had to eat it first. I crouched down
behind him, helping him lift one knee of his beefy legs onto the desk,
pulling apart those meaty, hairy, manly ass cheeks with my hands, admiring
his dark and forested trench and diving in.

The cleft was super hairy, hairier than any man I'd eaten out as my tongue
found his smooth and silky hole. I listened to Coach Weir grunt as he
brought his knee up higher onto his desk, opening his cleft up even more,
offering me more of his manhole as I gripped each hefty cheek as I slipped
my tongue inside him. Fuck, he tasted good in my dreams. I loved imagining
it as I jerked my dick wildly, pressing and rubbing my thumb just under the
head as I gasped. I could almost feel the soft brown hairs in my teeth,
against my tongue, and taste Coach Weir's masculine hole.

I was getting real worked up now, and decided to go for my cum. Fantasy me
stood up, naked except for my baseball cap, wiping the spittle and ass
juice from my smooth chin as I lined up the tip of my prick against his wet
and hungry, hairy hole. I felt him open up as I shoved my cock into Coach's
searing hot depths. Spearing his hole with a steady, resolute thrust. Coach
cried out, throwing his head back as I gripped his windbreaker, wadding it
up in my fist as I used it to pull him back against my groin, thrusting
hard. Then again. My balls pressing against those meaty cheeks with each
one.

His rectum clenched tightly against my pistoning rod as he pushed himself
up on his outstretched arms, arching his back and presenting his ass for
deeper and harder thrusts. I could hear Weir's unmistakable voice, urging
me on. Deep, gravely, with a heavy Virginia twang. "That's it. Fuck
yeah... McGrath, knock it out of the park..."

I shot. Heavy ropes landed on my chest and a couple lapped at the base of
my neck. Taking me out of my fantasy and returning me to my quiet dark
bedroom. I looked down at my load, catching my breath with a tiny smirk, a
little proud of the amount of cum I'd shot. I'd needed that, for sure.

I grabbed my t-shirt at the top of my duffle and wiped off, feeling weary
from the day now as I pulled my boxer briefs back on, tucking away my now
softening cock before I rolled over and went to sleep.

***

Saturday was pretty low-key. Matt and I decided to take advantage of the
gym on the Naval base to get a good workout in. Growing up, us McGrath boys
always had military dependent ID cards to get us on base. Now that Matt had
a military ID card, he couldn't wait to use it.

I will say, Matt was stronger than he looked as we worked out and spotted
each other among the mostly enlisted sailors and marines. I was impressed
with his focus working out, and he made some comment about wanting to get
in top shape before his duty assignment.

I was normally focused too, but I found myself surreptitiously scoping out
the men in the weight room. While my brother was occupied re-racking our
weights toward the end of our workout, one man in particular caught my
eye... an older sailor sitting on the edge of a workout bench from across
the gym. His thickly muscled chest and broad shoulders rose as he took in
deep breaths, obviously taking a break between sets in his bench press
workout. On the weekend, the military guys didn't usually work out in their
PT clothes, so he could have also been a marine. Late 30s... maybe early
40s, buzzed head, brown hair, tanned skin, hard stare... definitely
enlisted with equally high rank. The sweat soaked the front of the athletic
shirt, clinging to his shapely muscles as he caught his breath. And I
suddenly realized, he was looking at me and wasn't looking away. He
narrowed his dark eyes, and I honestly couldn't tell if he was checking me
out or having a normal straight-guy's reaction to my own glance his
way. Fuck, either way the guy was smoking hot, and I felt my cock twitch in
my compression shorts.

"You ready, squirt? We told Dad we wouldn't be too long," Matt asked,
elbowing me in the side. I broke my stare with the older military man.

"Yeah," I answered as I followed Matt towards the door. I took a quick look
back, almost hoping the man's eyes would be following me out of the gym,
but instead he was already leaning his strong body back onto the bench for
another set. I felt strangely thrilled and embarrassed by how much I wanted
to sleep with a guy like that.

Later that morning I went to run errands with Dad and Matt, picking up some
provisions for Easter dinner. As we headed back on base to hit up the
commissary, the gate guard saluted Dad, and I had the realization that in a
few weeks, they'd be saluting Matt as well.

The afternoon was a lazy one. It was Dad's turn at the base gym as we both
knew he went for his usual swim at the pool. Matt had some final homework
assignments to do as Dad let him use his den. I hung out in my old room
with that same intention, sitting at my clean and almost barren desk, the
house oddly silent despite Matt and I under the same roof - so unlike the
teenage versions of ourselves. I did get one assignment for my accounting
class done. But as I had my laptop open, I got distracted by my
horniness. The studly older sailor at the gym had stuck in my mind and made
me return to a thought that had been preoccupying me lately.

I turned around in my seat to make sure the coast was clear. On my internet
browser, I opened the hookup website I'd signed up for - one that I knew
Holt used. Recently I had set up a shell of a profile but hadn't shared any
pictures. I had spent the last couple of weeks since Mexico lurking, but
still felt too afraid to use it.

I chewed on my pencil as I stared at my bare profile. Maybe it was being
back in Norfolk that made me feel like I could take a chance. The
Norfolk-Virginia Beach area could feel like a small town sometimes, but it
wasn't Charlottesville small. Plus it had the military guys - like Petty
Officer Kevin, Lieutenant Commander Evans... the sailor from the gym. I
watched my fingers quickly work as I added my stats - Age: 20, Height:
6'3", Eyes: Blue, Hair: Blonde, Build: Muscle Jock... I added a couple of
pictures to my profile - no face shot, just cropped phone pics of shirtless
me in front of the bathroom mirror, all defined lines and flexed muscles
with just a dusting of light blond fur - before my injury, and before
Mexico. And I also had a good dick pic ready to share if a guy was
interested.

And, man, were guys interested. I tried to go back to my homework but
almost immediately I got a notification, and then another, and then
another. Maybe I was just fresh meat, but it was a real ego boost. I looked
up to check the door once more - no Matt. I chatted with a few guys and
tried to figure out the etiquette, particularly if I wasn't interested in
sleeping with the guy.

There were a couple of guys I was interested in sleeping with, but as I
perused the profiles, one in particular excited me a lot. From his single,
torso-only profile pic, I'd guessed he was in his 40s - strong body, beefy
but fit. He was moderately hairy with dark swirls mostly across his thick
chest. He lacked the toned definition I had, but the thick muscles were
definitely there. And with his muscular body and his "discreet only"
profile, I wondered if he maybe was a Navy officer or NCO. In any case, my
dick twitched when I came across his profile. I was the one to initiate
contact. Direct, and not what I expected myself to do after only lurking
for weeks. But I knew what I wanted.

His almost immediate replies were eager and flirty, but not too
aggressive. I sent him my dick pic. I was horny but apprehensive, and
"Brian," as he introduced himself, was just the right speed for my mood at
that moment. In fact, I was surprised how easy our chat seemed to flow.

Finally, Brian grabbed the bull by the horns. "I'd love to suck that big
cock of yours," he wrote. I grinned, feeling myself start to bone up as I
typed back, hitting "send."

"I'd love it if you did," I replied. I wasn't sure I was ready to get
fucked again, not so soon after my and Dad's amazing time in Mexico -
particularly with a guy I'd never met. So the fact he suggested oral made
me feel more at ease.

He asked if I wanted to come over. I was nervous and not sure if I would
really go through with this. It was about 3 o'clock, and I wondered if I
could get away. I didn't have my car there in Norfolk as Matt had picked me
up. But maybe I could ask Matt to use his.

I messaged back, "I don't think I can right now. Maybe later?"

"Sure," he replied. "But let me know. I'm horny as fuck."

I logged off and tried to will my hardon back down. Accounting helped, sort
of. But in the back of my mind, I was worried Brian would find another guy
to hook up with, and I suddenly felt saddened by the prospect that I
wouldn't get to hook up with him.

I did a little more homework until I heard Dad downstairs, shutting the
front door and announcing he was back. I closed my laptop and made my way
down to the kitchen. Dad had grabbed a few last-minute items from the
commissary before leaving base. He was putting stuff in the fridge, his
back to me as I noticed his still dampened hair along with the sheer width
of his shoulders and back. I tried to act nonchalant as I asked Dad what
time dinner was.

"I was thinking 6," he said, turning to face me as he shut the
fridge. "It's just going to be steaks on the grill."

"Sounds great," I said. "I was wondering if it would be OK to use the car
later tonight? A couple of buddies from my old team are hanging out and
wanted to see if I wanted to come over."

"Of course," Dad said with that handsome half-crooked smile of his. I think
he worried about my social life sometimes, particularly since I'd come out
to him. In fact, I had drifted apart from a lot of my high school
friends. The only two I kept in touch with were Pete Miller and Rich
Bryant, and even with them - with Pete in California and Rich in Nashville
- I found myself talking less and less often.

I thanked Dad and helped him do some of the prep for dinner. Eventually, I
went back to my room, crawling up onto my bed as I reached for my laptop to
send Brian a quick reply.

"Didn't think I'd hear back from you," he replied almost immediately with a
winking smiley face.

"You're so hot," I admitted. "I hope I didn't miss my opportunity?" Maybe I
should be playing hard to get, but I figured with a hookup site, there was
no need to pretend about wanting sex.

"Nope," the man replied. "Feel like coming over?"

I was excited as I watched the words on the chat screen and as I typed back
a reply. "Does 8 work? I can maybe make it a little earlier, but don't
know."

"Come over when you like," he wrote. "I'm just sitting around my place,
horny as fuck."

"I'm not doing much better here," I replied, feeling my cock plump as I
adjusted the crotch of my jeans.

He gave me his address and directions. I had thought of changing into a
nicer, less casual outfit, but I knew Dad might wonder why I was dressing
up to meet my buddies. Brian would just have to see me in my jeans and my
Virginia sweatshirt hoodie.

I was nervous and eager all through dinner. Dad grilled out some steaks and
veggies on the back porch, and I think the three of us had hearty
appetites. I didn't want to seem too ready to leave, but thankfully Matt
was the first to push his chair back from the table and gathered up our
empty plates.

"I'll clean up," he volunteered. "Then I'll probably head out if that's
OK," he said to Dad.

"Go ahead, Matt," he urged my brother. "I can clean up."

But Matt didn't seem to listen as he just grinned and started rinsing the
dishes.

"What are you doing tonight, Dad?" I asked. I felt a little bad for
abandoning Dad in what was one of two nights of his holiday weekend.

"I'll probably have my friend Reg come over," he said. Reggie Carson was
another Navy Captain, and one of Dad's good friends.

"You sure it's OK I'm taking the car?" I didn't want to relinquish the
opportunity to follow through on my hookup, and I regretted even giving Dad
the chance to change his mind.

But Dad shook his head. "I'm good, Slugger. You go have fun tonight. Just
don't drink and drive."

"I know, Dad," I said, with a tone that was half respectful and half
annoyed. "I won't."

On the drive over to Brian's place, I was throwing hard in my jeans, fully
erect already. My heart beat excitedly. I wasn't sure this was the right
thing to do. I mean, I'd had sex with a number of guys by then and often
without any strings attached. But finding a stranger online was both
thrilling and scary.

The spring night was chilly and as I parked along the street and walked up
to Brian's door, I was glad I'd kept with the sweatshirt. We weren't too
far from base, so my initial impression that Brian was in the Navy may
still hold true. The two-story townhouse was nice, with a well-kept lawn
and in a good-looking development. I walked up the driveway and up to the
front door and gave it a firm knock. I stuffed my hands into pockets as I
took a quick look around me, at the dark street and lit-up porches behind
me. Why was I so nervous?

I don't know what I expected as I heard the door unlock in front of me. But
as Brian answered the door bare-chested, wearing only a pair of gray gym
sweatpants that did little to hide his own erect dick, I felt my nerves
ease as my libido took over.

I loved the way his sweats hung off his hips, and I could make out the
admirable size of his cock, clearly cut and stiffening as it tented the
material, as if pointing right at me. Brian was definitely my type, and his
body was incredible. Not porn-model perfect, but muscled in a way that
looked like a combination of manual labor and dedicated time in the
gym. And best of all, it was an older man's body.

"Hey," he greeted in a friendly tenor voice. "Come in."

He showed me in, closing the door behind me. The interior was dimly lit but
it seemed like a nice place. I didn't know for sure, but I got the feeling
he lived alone.

I turned around, now standing in front of Brian. He wasn't exceptionally
furry, Dad had more chest hair than he did, but the soft brown hair covered
Brian's full chest and meaty torso nicely, adding to his imposing
appearance. I noticed the stark tan lines banding his biceps, making the
brown hair on his thick forearms look even darker. He was pretty much my
height too, which was a nice change from the other guys I'd slept
with. While he wasn't as handsome as Dad or Jack, he was still
good-looking. He had shortly cropped brown hair - neither the military high
n' tight I was expecting nor the Navy officer style that Dad or Jack had
either. But Brian kept it neat, combed back and to the side, not hiding his
gently receding hairline and high forehead. I watched a lascivious smile
quickly form on his lips as I noticed the thick couple-day stubble on his
chin and jaw. His blue eyes mirrored my own as it looked as if he too was
taking in the sight of me in front of him.

The man stepped up to me and looked me up and down unabashedly and we both
grinned excitedly. "I will say you were worth the wait," he said with
grinning lips and hungry eyes. I felt the heat in my face flush my cheeks.

"I'm glad... Man, you're really fucking hot," I hissed, pulling my hands
from my pockets and running my fingers through my longer blond hair as I
took in his body once more, feeling me dick respond to everything about
him.

"Coming from a dude that's way out of my league, that's a huge compliment."
His blue eyes swept up and down my frame again as he took another step
closer. "Mind showing me some of the goods?" he asked, winking as his voice
took on a graveled tone.

I nodded and peeled off my UVA sweatshirt, tossing it over the back of his
nearby sofa. I'd worn just a simple T-shirt beneath, just snug enough to
show off my muscle-jock physique. I pulled at the hem, tugging the thin
cotton over my head, and I swore I heard Brian grunt a gasp of approval as
I bared my upper body for him. Small sprouts of blond hair had started to
come in on my chest, more stubble-length than anything, but I still looked
pretty smooth.

I tossed my discarded shirt onto my sweatshirt as Brian got a naughty grin
on his face, hooking his thumbs in his waistband and pulling his sweats
down off his hips and down his thighs. The man went commando. His thick
brown pubes came into view before his dick came out swinging, aimed right
at me. He had a nice, average length but it was still respectably
thick. The whole piece looked almost angry red, the rounded head slick with
precum and the fat shaft covered in bulging veins. "I've been edging all
afternoon," he confessed, cupping his cock and making it bounce with some
obvious heft.

I started undoing my jeans, eager to show off for the man. God, this was
exciting, and I was now very glad I'd taken a chance with the online
thing. I let my jeans drop to the floor as I toed off my sneakers, leaving
in just my strained boxer briefs.

"Yeah?" I said, finally taking my eyes off his enticing cock. "I bet you're
eager to get a load off then."

He lifted one leg to step out of his sweatpants, then the other, leaving
them on the floor. His erection was rock hard and stood up from the brown
pubes in a rigid spike as he took it in hand. "Yes and no... I was
thinking, stud, if you have the time, I'd love to make this one last."

"Sounds perfect," I said with a big smile.

Brian was now completely naked, gently stroking his angry cock as he
watched me continue to strip down completely. He looked like he wanted a
front row seat as I slowly peeled my underwear off and down my thighs. I
heard him groan as my deep golden pubes and then my eight inches were
slowly revealed, the elastic holding my rigid shaft down until the moment
my cock was finally allowed to swing free, heavy but hard as nails. He
stepped up to me, gently taking hold of my cock as I felt his other hand
snake around my waist - hands rough from manual work. He pulled himself
closer as I felt the hairs and muscle of his chest gently press into
mine. He let his face inch closer, his stubbled lips parting as I felt my
hands wrap around his equally muscled back. I shut my eyes just before I
felt his breath break across my lips.

Fuck, he tasted good. His tongue pressed teasingly between my lips and
gently battled mine before I returned the favor, pressing into his mouth
with an insistent excitement as our grip on each other tightened. The man
was a good kisser, not too hard-charging but able to communicate the lust
that had clearly been building the whole afternoon. I could clearly feel
Brian's hardon leaking against my taut belly, which only turned me on more.

Finally we broke the kiss, big grins on our faces. Brian looked down
between our bodies. "Damn, you got a big cock," he said, still holding my
shaft as he admired my length.

I felt a wave of proud confidence sweep through me. Having an older
muscular man like this into me was a big rush for sure. "I believe you said
you were gonna suck it."

He looked back up, excitement in those blue eyes. "Hell yes I'm gonna suck
it." He ran his hand down my shaft to the base and cupped my smooth
nutsac. "I'm gonna suck these babies dry." The man had a flirty approach to
sex that surprised me, but I was into it. "But I've been edging all
afternoon, I'm gonna torture you for a while."

"Sounds amazing," I said, pulling his body back into me as I angled my
mouth for another deep kiss.

Kissing and groping each other, we clumsily made our way to his bed. He lay
back, scooting onto his bed as I crawled on top of him and kissed him
again. We took our time exploring each other's bodies, first with our
hands, then increasingly with our mouths. He told me to avoid sucking his
dick as I dragged my tongue down between his furry pecs before taking one
hairy nip into my mouth, and then the other. He parted his thick legs for
me as I slipped further down his body. "I'll blow the second your mouth is
on me," he grunted as my lips travelled along his firm hairy gut. So I went
lower, to his balls and licked and slurped at his manly nuts for a good
five minutes. I could feel his dick twitching wildly above me, batting
rhythmically against my forehead as I orally teased him.

"Fuck, I could watch this forever," he hissed as I looked up and I saw his
eyes were fixed on me and the meeting place between my mouth and his
genitals, smirking as he folded his arms behind his head.

"I'm gonna cash in on that blowjob now," I instructed, lapping at his sac
one more time before I scooted up until I was kneeling at his face, dick in
hand as I offered him my hard prick.

He nodded, excited yet also preparing for my girth. He took hold of my
cock, stroking and spreading my leaking sap across the head and down my
shaft. "Just hold off cumming. I don't want you to nut right away," he
said, puckering his lips against the tip while taking my fresh precum into
his mouth.

"Yeah," I replied, slowly thrusting my hips and spearing my leaking cut
cock between his open wet lips.

Brian moaned, and I immediately knew he loved it. Loved my endowment, loved
my hardness. And probably my youth. I reached down and cupped the side and
back of his head, running my fingers encouragingly, almost lovingly through
his short brown hair as he filled his mouth with my dick.

"Fuck man," I growled, now softly thrusting less than half of my cock into
his wonderfully wet and sucking mouth as his tongue coaxed more of my dick
to go just a bit deeper with each jab. I know it sounds stupid to say, but
at that moment I realized how much I loved sex. I could get into spells,
like I had over the previous month, when sex with another man was not in
the cards, or my focus was elsewhere. But as I worked more and more of my
stalk in and out of Brian's accommodating mouth, feeling his strong
calloused hands work their way up my hamstrings and finally cup my ass to
encourage each stroke, I wondered why I wasn't experiencing this more
often.

"Oh fuck," I groaned, as I felt the head of my cock slide past his tonsils
and into his flexing throat. My quads tensed in automatic reflex as I
caressed his head, careful not to give him too much too fast. But I felt
his hands on my ass, fingers gripping each cheek as he guided me to feed
him inch after inch. "Holy shit," I cried as I felt my sac finally tap his
chin, his nose in my pubes as his lips stretched around the base, his mouth
and throat undulated around my buried cock. He groaned, the hum vibrating
around my shaft, making me moan helplessly. His hands on my ass once again
guiding me to fuck his face.

The problem was, it felt too good. I went from riding a plateau of awesome
pleasure to feeling like I was cumming imminently.

I tried to hold my moans in. Roughly, I pulled back, extracting my meat,
eliciting a sloppy wet sound from Brian as my dick fell from his open and
drooling mouth, my cock now shiny with dripping strands of salvia. I was
just in time, the pre-orgasmic clenching jolting from my perineum to my
balls and the base of my cock. But I didn't cum, not yet.

Brian let out a rumble of a growl, still holding and cupping my ass as he
watched my spit-coated cock jerk and leak mere inches from his
face. "Goddamn!" he said. "You're a fucking stallion, buddy." He dove back
into my crotch, careful to avoid my dick as I reeled in my orgasm with
heavy breaths. His tongue started attacking my nuts, returning the teasing
I'd given him earlier.

I held on to his head, pressing him against my scrotum in a playful move of
domination but mostly holding on to balance myself as my sexual excitement
racked my body, loving the way my dick rested across his face.

Finally I pulled away, guiding his face up as I leaned down to kiss him. I
loved kissing men, and with Brian it was just as much a turn-on as the
genital stimulation. As his lips writhed with mine, his stubble gave me a
novel sensation, reminding me I was having sex with a man, a real
man. Without letting his mouth go, I lay back down onto the bed next to
him, now on our sides, facing each other as I let him pull me closer -
chest to chest. We made out as his bearded mouth raked my lips and his
rough hands traveled up and down my back - from my lats, to my ass, and
back up again.

"What do you think about fucking me?" he asked between kisses, his own dick
still twitching against mine.

"God yes," I said, thrilled and surprised by the offer before I fed him my
tongue once more. Fucking wasn't something we'd talked about in
advance. "Only I probably won't last long," I admitted as we ended our
make-out session.

Brian grinned and reached down between us to wrap his hand around my still
wet cock - avoiding the over-stimulated head, but gripping the base. "I got
a secret for you, stud," he said, his voice low but dripping with lust. "A
few strokes from this bad boy is gonna have me shooting to the moon. Go
slow till you're in me, then have at it."

I nodded, gladly accepting the instruction. I didn't picture Brian as the
kind of guy who bottomed a lot. But I had to wonder what preconceptions I
had about guys who bottomed a lot. Brian rolled onto his back, reaching for
his night stand and the small bottle of lube. I crawled on top of him as I
settled between his spread thighs, my achingly hard dick now so close to
his open ass. I took the lube from him, sat back on my knees, and dribbled
a good amount along my dick. Brian looked up at me, grinning slyly as he
gently stroked his red, angry, thick piece with the tips of his
fingers. Honestly, he looked ready to blow. I watched his fingers dip past
his balls and into his crack. I was so grateful he was going to offer his
hole to me then.

I coated my middle and index fingers in a shimmering slick coat as Brian
raised his thick legs. I used my free hand to settle his ankles on my
shoulders as I looked down to see the furred crevice of his ass open up
even more for me. I knew that his hole was hidden under all that hair. I
aimed my lubed fingers, not probing too far as I soon felt the hot and
crinkled, silky entrance of the man's ass. Brian let out a low groan as I
circled his hole, coating him in lube right before I added just enough
pressure to slide in knuckle-deep. He was hot, and instantly snug. I
fingered his hole slowly with one finger, making him gently gasp before I
gradually worked a second into him, loving the look on his face as I
stretched him wider for my cock. This part was fun too, the teasing of his
ass with my hand, surprising him with my finger strokes and the stimulation
along his pucker. I was working him up all right, and getting him excited
to take cock as his moans grew needy.

"Fuck me, stud," he groaned as I pulled out my juicy fingers, using them to
coat and smear the slick up and down my prick. I gripped one of Brian's
legs by the ankle, pushing his leg back towards his chest, opening his ass
wide enough to see his deep pink pucker winking just beneath the
lube-soaked hairs. I watched as I scooted my groin closer, the tip of my
cock now aching to press up against his waiting hole. I took a hold of my
shaft, running the head of my cock up and down the cleft of his ass,
feeling the hairs along with the smooth heat of his asslips. "...fuck
yeah," I said to myself as I finally zeroed in. When I finally pressed in
with my meat, Brian's body willingly accepted me as he let out a long low
moan - for sure feeling my girth. I wasn't rushing it, but as my inches
slowly sank in I knew I wasn't going to have to coax the man to relax for
my size.

"Aw... fuck... I've been thinking all afternoon about this," Brian growled
beneath me as he took a choking grip on his cock, looking up into my eyes
with deep pleasure on his face.

"Yeah?" I asked, not hiding the pleasure in my voice, pushing forward more
with my hips, loving the sweet tightness of the man's hole as his rectal
muscles tugged me deeper into him. "You didn't say anything about fucking
earlier."

"I was scared of your size," he admitted between gasps as I knew I had to
be hitting some new spots. I gave the man another inch, watching his face
react as I gripped his quads, pulling his ass to meet my slowly thrusting
groin. "I worried I'd chicken out."

His voice went shaky, his face contorting as he let out a soft cry, letting
his head fall back onto the bed as I watched all his hairy muscles flex
beneath me - his pecs, his abs, his shoulders, and neck. His cock looked
like a red-hot rocket in his fist, holding it tightly as if to stem off his
imminent orgasm. All his flexing muscles only made his chute ripple around
my shaft as I was now so close to filling him with my cock.

"You're not chickening out now," I groaned as I finally filled him with my
full 8 inches. We grunted together as I bottomed out.

"Fuck no, this feels great," he replied, shaking his head and smiling up at
me.

I grinned back down at him as I felt the heat of his inner depths. His hole
felt so good tightly wrapped around my dick. I ground my pubes into his
taint as my balls pressed against his hairy ass.

He clenched his chute in return, making my dick throb in return as I felt
my abs tighten. Fuck, I missed this - fucking a guy... a man.

"Feels even better for me," I grunted as Brian lowered his thick legs from
shoulders only to wrap them around my trimmer waist. "Your ass is so
fucking tight," I hissed as I felt him lock his ankles over the top of my
ass, as if holding me in place.

"Aw.. yeah... Fuck... Kind of hard not to be, not with a piece your size,"
he moaned. His face looked so keyed up I could tell he was fighting to keep
his orgasm in check. We kept our eyes on each other as I slowly pulled out
an inch or two, feeling his chute try hold me in as he let out a slow
gasp. I slowly thrusted back into him, making his eyes and head roll back
as he moaned out his pleasure, gripping his dick even harder.

"Oh god, that ass feels so good," I grunted as I gripped his waist and
began to hump in and out with a slow but steady rhythm. With each shove
inward, I aimed to maximize the sensation on my rod and to open up his guts
for my girth. I didn't get to pull out too much as Brian's legs around my
waist only pulled me back in, making me mash my balls into his ass with
every shallow thrust.

Brian had a twinkle of a challenge in his eyes. "You ready to fuck, stud?"
he hissed. I nodded as I leaned down, hovering over him, my hands slipping
beneath his shoulders as our lips met momentarily. Brian's free hand took a
fistful of my hair as he demanded a quick but deep kiss. Given our height,
it was easier to say above him, stretched out on my arms as my face hovered
just above his.

"Fuck yes," I replied as I pulled back for a long stroke, feeling the
muscles of his innards slide around my shaft and grip at the flared head. I
felt the firm ridge of his prostate, making the man stiffen and gasp. But I
made him cry out as I slid all the way back in, making sure to grind the
swollen head of my dick over his equally swollen spot. Brian wrapped his
rough hand around my neck as I pulled out once more, long-dicking him
before filling him once more. He grunted when I bottomed out. And I
thrusted again. And again.

"I mean really fuck, man," Brian encouraged. "Just go for it."

His thighs loosened on my waist, allowing my hips to freely slide my cock
in and out of his wet hole. "Fuck me... come on, big boy." As he begged, I
could tell my cock was making his voice shake.

I nodded and thrust hard back into him, my glutes flexing tightly. Maybe
slam is too strong a word, but it was a powerful shove into his insides as
his rectal walls fluttered around me.

"Aw, FF-UUCK YES, buddy!" Brian cried, tightening his legs once more around
my waist as I plunged into the man with abandon. Brian let his cries and
moans loose as I fed him all the jock cock he wanted. The whole afternoon
edging had keyed his need up big time.

Still above him, I groaned in response as I fucked harder into him. Not
fast, but with quick, muscular strokes, using my full body strength. It was
wild and horny, and I loved it. Particularly the way Brian's hands clung to
my hips and his fingers dug into my muscles, letting me know he wanted it.

"Fucking horse-hung jock gonna pound me off!" Brian cried. It looked like
he was on the edge, and I could feel the slick sap as his cock occasionally
rubbed against my flexing abs between us.

"Yessir!" I growled, loving the way his ass was taking my prick. "Take my
fucking dick."

"God yes," Brian moaned in reply.

"Hot fucking ass gripping my bone."

I loved this fuck - the way Brain writhed beneath me as I pounded into him,
his hairy muscles gleaming in the low light of his bedroom. I wanted it to
last. But we were both too worked up. We didn't even last a minute before
Brian moans crescendoed to a litany of words - telling me how close he was,
telling me not to stop, to fuck him harder... faster, until...

"UNNGHH," Brian cried as I felt his thick hot tool quiver against my
stomach. I continued to pound into him as I looked between us just in time
to watch his cock let out a spurt of liquid. That's the thing sometimes
about edging, how when you cum there's a false orgasm at first, an
involuntary discharge that arrives a few seconds before the real deal.

The sight of that first spurt had me shooting. "Shit!" I grunted as I gave
him one final thrust, burying myself to the root and firing hard and deep
into his guts, just in time for Brian's second, fuller ejaculation to shoot
up his chest. Brian's hole clenched my ejaculating cock and his hands
pulled at my neck as our lips crashed together. At that point, I'd lost all
consideration for Brian's comfort and aimed to coat the deepest walls of
his tunnel with my jock spunk. He probably didn't care either as he moaned
into my mouth and sucked at my lips. He clung tightly to my body, holding
my jerking hips in place as we rode out our orgasms together.

I finally pulled back from our kiss, only the slightest distance between
our lips. I was actually out of breath when I felt my orgasm
subside. "Fuck, that was good," I muttered.

"Hell yeah, well worth the wait," Brain mumbled against my lips, giving me
one final peck as I did a push-up off his body, feeling my now slimy and
still hard cock slip slowly from his battered hole. I dismounted Brian and
knelt between back on my knees, now noticing how sweaty my skin was and how
damp my hair got. I looked down at my shiny cock and Brian's now drenched
crack, and I felt a certain relief to give my hardon a break. Not that it
was going down quickly - my dick still pulsed in a mostly rigid form.

It seemed that Brian wasn't in much of a softer condition either as he got
up off the bed, stepping across the master bedroom on initially wobbly
legs. As he made his way to the bathroom to rinse off, I fell back onto the
covers. I looked up at the ceiling and grinned to myself, catching my
breath as I heard the shower run. That was one hell of a fuck, I thought.

I looked up when Brian stepped back in. The man was naked with just a towel
around his large shoulders as he dried his brown hair. His meat was now
flaccid and looking very sated as it swung gently between his legs.

"Shower's yours if you want," he said with a smile on his stubbled
face. Now that his regular self had returned, Brian looked even more
ruggedly handsome.

"Um, yeah, thanks." It felt a little awkward now that our orgasms were out
of the way, but something about Brian's laid-back nature put me at ease.

As I sat up on the bed, Brian looked me over with a smile and
said. "Thanks, Jim. That was just incredible."

Scooting off the bed, I finally stood up, my dong still half hard and my
muscled jock body covered in sweat and some of Brian's cum. "Yeah, I'd say
the same thing."

"OK if I get another kiss?" he asked with a tentative grin and a sparkle in
his blue eyes. I knew this was a one-time hookup, but I was glad the man
enjoyed kissing too. I certainly missed it. I nodded and stepped up for a
softer kiss as I pulled him into me. I loved the hard feel of his body
nudging against mine and the heat emanating from him as he let me kiss him
slowly.

He pulled away and seemed to be mulling something over. "If you want to go,
that's cool, but I was thinking of firing up the hot tub if you want to
stay a while."

My hands were still around his waist as he felt up my younger body. I
smiled. "Sounds great." I knew Dad wouldn't expect me home any time soon,
and I was enjoying this sexual connection with this hunky, older man. "Um,
do you have a swimsuit?" I asked dumbly.

Brian grinned. "Don't worry... my back deck is private. If you're not shy."

"Nice," I replied, feeling the naughty thrill of being naked with this man
for a bit longer.

I quickly rinsed off in the shower and strutted out nude to join Brian at
his back deck. The night was brisk as I felt the cool air against my skin
and the cold deck beneath my feet. His yard wasn't big, but it had a high
fence, secluded and private like he mentioned. The large wooden hot tub sat
under the large awning as I heard it roar to life. I watched as Brian
leaned over and adjusted the water. His body was magnificent in the low
illumination coming from the single deck light. Not fitness-model perfect,
but I liked the balance of muscle and middle-aged padding. His butt in
particular was a mix of soft and hard, the kind of full round ass that only
older guys seemed to have. I felt lucky to have tapped it.

There was also something appealing about how comfortable the man felt with
his nudity. I was into letting him see my naked self, but the spring night
air was chilly and made my dick shrink up and my nipples grow pointy as I
rubbed my skin.

"I got you a beer, if you want," he said, gesturing to two cans he'd set
down along the edge of the tub. He stepped into the bubbling water as I
couldn't help staring at his ass again. "Water's still warming up, but come
on in..." he said as he sat back, the rolling water just high enough to
reach his nipples.

I thought of passing on the beer, but I figured I could have one and still
be good to drive, particularly since I wasn't heading back home right
away. I stepped in after him. The temperature wasn't as hot as I usually
liked it, but it was pleasantly warm and relaxing as the water bubbled
around my thighs. Brian didn't hide his stare as he eyed my swinging and
softening dick with a grin. As I sat into the water, I reached over and
popped open the can. The tub was large, but for two guys over 6 feet, our
legs and feet easily brushed as we sat across from each other.

We both had our arms draped across the lip of the tub at our backs as we
sipped our beers. Brian had a hint of a smile on his gruff-handsome face. I
wondered what was on his mind.

"Feels nice, huh?" he prompted, settling in as the water grew hotter.

"Fuck yes," I said. "Perfect end to a perfect fuck." It felt a little out
of my nature to speak so lewdly with a stranger, but with the post-sex
endorphins kicking in, I felt I could be free with Brian.

He laughed and his gaze grew a little more direct. "You know... when you
showed up... I recognized who you were." Even in the relaxing, warm water,
my body immediately tense up. In that split second, a hundred scenarios
raced through my mind - the one that stuck out the most was that he was
Navy, and he somehow knew my Dad. Brian must have recognized my reaction,
the features of his face softening as he leaned forward and quickly added,
"Don't worry, man. I said discreet and I meant it. I'm just getting out of
a messy divorce myself, so I don't go advertising who I sleep with."

"Thanks," I said softly, feeling my heart rate slowly calm down. I looked
into his sincere blue eyes. "So... how did you know who I am?" I asked,
curious and still a little bit spooked.

Brian leaned back and took a sip of beer then answered, explaining that his
daughter went to my high school. "Same year as you. She played basketball
and let's just say I very much remember you from one of the awards
banquets."

I laughed, amused and relieved as I took a swig of beer, wondering why I
didn't notice Brian back then. "For real?"

He nodded. "You must think I'm a big old perv. It wasn't like I would've
made a move on you back then." I felt his shin purposefully brush the back
of my calf. "But, yeah, you were a strikingly good-looking young man, even
then." He took a sip of beer, keeping his eyes on me as he shot me a
wink. "It was kinda hard not to notice you."

"Thanks," I said, smiling with a bit of embarrassment, remembering the
teenager I was back then - learning about myself with my best friend, Pete,
meeting random men in their hotel rooms, picking up Navy sailors on Norfolk
beach,... my first time with Jack. I looked over at the man smiling back at
me as his legs caressed mine under the water. "I'm surprised I didn't
notice you. You're my type to a T."

He seemed surprised by my admission. "You like `em a little older, huh?"

I don't know what made me comfortable enough to open up to this guy, but I
nodded. "Not exclusively, but yeah, guys your age do it for me. A lot
actually." I blushed as I said it, but I also enjoyed giving him a
compliment. "I hope you don't mind me saying so."

He chuckled. "Mind? Dude, you just gave me a rock star fuck. I'm not going
to complain about shit." He looked me over with a certain stare that made
me wonder if he was getting hard again. I know I was firming up some. "I
just know some lucky bastard is going to feel like he won the jackpot with
you, if you ever end up with a steady guy."

I nodded at his compliment - somehow I had already hit the jackpot with my
experience with Dad in Mexico, but long term, yeah, I thought about the
future. I leaned back, sliding in my seat as I let my hardening dick stand
up just beneath the water - deciding to enjoy the moment instead. "So, you
know who I am... what do you do?" I had a feeling he could be a Navy man,
maybe an officer or NCO, though given his age he'd have to be pretty high
ranking.

"I work at a marina. It can be hard work in high season, but I love being
outside and by the water."

I nodded as that probably explained his tan. "Were you in the Navy?" I
asked.

He nodded and grinned. "It shows, huh? Yeah, I was enlisted for ten years -
petty officer first class. After my service was up, well... I was married
with two kids and it just made sense to kind of settle down here."

I don't know why, but knowing he had been a military man sent a bit more
blood to my growing hardon. "Glad I met you," I said, nudging his calf with
my foot playfully. "Even if it's just a one night thing."

"Night's still young," he grinned as he let his eyes sweep out across the
dark sky before settling back on me.

"Fuck," I grunted with a smile. "I'm hard again. Already."

He smirked and took his turn to run his foot up and down my leg now, which
only made my erection throb. "If you can give me a little more time, I'll
happily take care of that."

"I'm not in a rush," I said, slamming back the rest of my beer.

The water was now steaming as Brian scooted across the tub. Our eyes locked
as I watched him settle next to me. Our hands reached for each other's
neck, pulling one another closer as our lips met softly. Brian mouth opened
against mine as his tongue slid between my lips. He held my neck as he fed
me his tongue. God, this guy could kiss. His other hand felt up my chest
before moving down my abs but didn't make any move to go lower. I figured
he didn't want us to rush it, but I took the liberty of feeling up his
strong hairy chest and shoulders as we alternated making out and just
looking at each other, sharing goofy grins as the ribbons of steam curled
around us.

"I'm not looking to date," he said softly, caressing my neck and the back
of my head. "But maybe if you wanna hook-up again in the future..."

"I don't live in Norfolk any more," I confessed. "But when I'm back, yeah,
that would be great." I paused and added, "this is my first time meeting a
guy online actually," my smile going even more goofy.

His eyes widened. "Wow, really? You seemed to know what you were doing
earlier."

"I've had sex with guys before," I clarified. "But the online thing makes
me nervous."

"I get it," he said, massaging my neck. "Most guys are online for the same
reason you are, but there are some fucking weirdos out there for sure."

We chatted softly a little more, enjoying the closeness and slow
exploration of each other's bodies. Eventually, the exploration became less
slow, and we started clinging to one another's nakedness and writhing
against one another as our kisses grew deeper. I was so fucking hard again.

"Wanna head back in?" Brian asked, his voice now low and husky as he nipped
at my lips between kisses - he was horny.

I would have enjoyed having hot tub sex for the first time, but I could
tell my fingers were really pruning up then, so readily I agreed with a
simple nod. His hands slipped from around my body as he stood, letting me
watch the hot water roll off his mature and muscled, middle-aged body. His
returning hardon stuck out from his bushy crotch as it looked just as wet
and appetizing as the rest of him. His skin steamed as he turned off the
hot tub and stepped out. I was right behind him, both our erections poking
up and excited for round two. He handed me an oversized fluffy towel and we
quickly dried off and stepped back in as the night felt extra chilly.

As soon the backdoor shut behind me, Brian dropped his towel and
immediately crouched down in front of me. I let my towel drop as well
around my feet, widening my stance as I watched the man on his knees
tentatively grip my hardon with careful fingers. The skin of his palm and
my cock felt especially hot as he gave me a long slow stroke, hardening my
dick beneath his touch. "Fucking beautiful dick, man," he gasped, looking
up at me as he started licking at the fattening shaft and just under the
head. I stood with an erect posture, letting my hands swing at my sides as
I watched and enjoyed his oral attention on my meat. He took me into his
mouth, lips wrapping around the crown as his tongue fluttered at the
slit. He sucked me in a bit more and bobbed a few times before, slurping
and pulling back, giving my cock a gentle kiss. "Let's go back to the
bedroom," he said as he stood back up, leading the way back towards the
hall.

Once we were back in his dark bedroom, Brian crawled back onto his bed as I
followed right behind him - sliding on top of him as I retook his lips in
mine, grinding my hardon against his as we let our hands wander up and down
each other's bodies. Nice and slow, skin still hot. This time wasn't as
heated as the first round, but I enjoyed it just as much - feeling each
other's body, making out, swapping blow jobs. I maneuvered Brain onto his
stomach, spreading his legs and prying his furry ass cheeks apart as I
rimmed him some. Brain moaned, pressing his ass back against my mouth as I
could taste the faint flavor of my own cum oozing out of his relaxing
hole. I wasn't sure if fucking was on the agenda for our second go around,
but I was happy with it all. Even a tandem JO would be hot with this man.

Moments later, Brian was back to sucking my cock - me on my back, him on
all fours between my legs bobbing up and down. His warm mouth and the
saliva running down onto my balls felt so good. But he soon pulled off, let
my spit-soaked dick slap my abs, and started licking my nuts. I knew my
dark blond hairs had started to grow back in down there, but I could still
feel the heightened sensations of his lapping tongue on my ball sac. And I
loved the exquisite stimulation it gave me as I ran my fingers through his
brown hair and across his scalp.

Suddenly I felt his rough hands slip just under my ass, cupping beneath my
thighs as he nudged my legs upward. "Here... lift up," he instructed,
helping me lift my hips. I did, raising my legs, spreading my thighs as my
feet pointed towards the ceiling. I felt the cool air against my hole and I
was immediately surprised to feel Brian's hot breath brush across my open
cleft followed by tentative and explorative flicks of his soft wet tongue,
licking and exploring the edge of my now exposed anus.

"Aww.. Brian..." I moaned and spread my legs a little wider for the man,
hooking my arm in the crook of my knee, opening more of my ass for his
tongue and mouth. His licks grew more assertive as I soon felt the thick
stubble of his lips and chin rubbing the still smooth cleft of ass. I loved
this - feeling a man's scruff and a smooth talented tongue on my
hole. Brian pressed his face harder in between my glutes as he took my cock
in his fist, his other hand gripping my cheek, opening me up just a bit
more as his tongue swirled and prodded at my pucker.

"Mmm... you taste good," Brian groaned, his lips moving against my ass as
he lapped at my hole, making me shudder before diving back in.

I don't know why I didn't expect it, but it was awesome, particularly as
Brian really started getting into the rim job. I felt him harden his tongue
as he began prodding into my hole, loosening my bud with his expert
tongue. His one hand kneaded my ass cheek as he finally slipped his oral
muscle into me, his other hand gripping my pulsing cock as he immediately
began eating out my hole.

"Aw, fuck, Brian... Yeah... ffff-uck yeah... aww, yeah, eat my ass," I
moaned as I listened to his lips smack and his tongue work. It was nice to
let loose verbally, to say aloud what I was feeling. Brain seemed to
respond to my words with even more effort, drilling into my tender insides.

The only men I'd met who were better than this were Jack Grant and my own
father. It wasn't fair to compare this almost-stranger to those perfect
men, though, and I didn't try. I just lay further back and held my thighs
up and well apart to make a clear and ready offering to this middle-aged
stud.

Brian locked eyes with me, the lower half of his face buried between my
thighs. The blue of eyes looking silver in the low light as he munched my
hole, my dick still in his fist as he began to stroke me time with his soft
but strong tongue. The soft light revealed the flecks of gray that I was
just now noticing hidden in the soft brown hair. I was starting to realize
I had a type, and this man was definitely it.

We didn't discuss it at first, but we both knew he was going to fuck me. He
could sense it in how I responded to his rimjob. He slowly turned down the
assault of his tongue as his fingers slid from around my cock to my balls,
and then into my ass. I felt his tongue slip from my relaxed and tingling
hole only to be replaced by a fluttering fingertip. Brian licked at my
pucker while simultaneously prodding with his digit, until that one finger
finally pushed in. My soft moan and the way my body accepted him was all
the signal he needed - one knuckle, and then the next. He quickly reached
over for the lube we'd left on the bed, dowsing my pucker and the point of
contact to ease his finger's entry with more than just spit. Pretty quickly
he had two, then three of his thick fingers working in and out of my ring.

"Oh damn," I gasped at the prodding of his digits. "That's so nice."

Brian's eyes had been steadily fixated on my hole, his face close to the
action and the sight of his fingers penetrating me, but now he looked up
with excitement. "Yeah, stud? You like that?"

"Fuck yes," I replied. "You're so good at that."

"I'm even better at fucking." A boast, playful but confident, his words
were also a way to give me an out in case I didn't want to bottom. I
actually had come over expecting to avoid any move the guy might make to
top me. I knew that after my time with Dad, nothing would compare. And a
weird part of me felt like it was disrespectful to Dad to expect another
man to fill those shoes, so to speak.

But I was in a hot man's bedroom, feeling desired, very sexual, and turned
on. And I knew that it was time to get back on the horse - to allow another
man to fuck me.

"Show me," I said with a husky challenge.

A small grin curled at the corner of Brian's lips as he pulled his fingers
from my hole. He rose back up onto his knees and now sat between my open
thighs, his burly muscles and his furry pecs gently heaving with each
breath. The sight of him looking down at me laid out below and before him,
made my cock just that much harder and my hole pulse in anticipation. For
all my sexual experiences, bottoming was still new enough that I got that
psychological jolt in realizing that, yeah, I was about to get fucked.

And Brian, with his rigid, meaty erect cock, was the one who was going to
do it. The hunky man caressed my inner thighs and smoothly slid his
calloused hands across my legs - up my quads and to my knees, and finally
my calves and ankles. And like I did with him before, Brain placed my feet
on his muscled shoulders, one hand reaching down to grip his hardon as he
scooted his groin closer to my ass.

His six-inch dick stuck up like a divining rod from between his fingers,
the swollen head seeking out my now exposed pucker. As he scooted in
closer, his body pushed my legs back just a little bit more as my ass
opened up for his hips. I moaned just as I felt the hot tip of his dick
swipe up and down my smooth crack, smearing the length of my crack with his
sap and excess lube. Playfully, he nudged his round cockhead against me,
gently using his dick to work me open some more and stretching my ring
millimeter by millimeter with tiny thrusts from his hips.

Brain looked down at his engorged cock pressed against my sealed
entrance. He hissed as I could tell the temptation to plow into me was
there. "Fuck, you're tight," he said with a deep exhale as he caressed my
legs with his rough hands. I nodded as my will to relax fought with my
body's natural defenses. It had been a month since I'd been fucked, and
while I really wanted this, I also knew it would be a tough penetration.

Brian was a great top, though, and patient. He gripped my dick once more to
keep me hard. As he watched my face to gauge my state of relaxation, his
hips nudged his cock just a little more into my hole. I shuddered, then
gasped as I felt my ring begin to loosen, his microthrusts nudging the head
of his cock just a little deeper. "There you go," Brain groaned low and
deep as we both felt the flared head of his dick finally slide into my
opening chute.

"Aw, fuck!" I cried. After a couple of months without sex, I now remembered
this distinct feeling - the discomfort of entry giving way to the wonderful
sensation of my insides being filled. "Yes," I added, to encourage Brian to
go in now.

Yeah, he was thick alright. He slowly worked himself deeper into me,
getting past a couple of tight knots that formed inside me in the
process. Eventually something switched inside me and that thick hard spike
plunged all the way in. It felt marvelous, and lying beneath this man, I
felt alive.

He seemed to be thrilled too, smiling as he could now start plowing my hole
with longer thrusts. "I did NOT expect this would be in the cards when you
messaged me," he said. I took my own cock in my hand and watched his hairy
muscles flex with each push from his hips as he now gripped my thigh and
calf, keeping my legs on his shoulders. "Fuck! That ass feels so good," he
growled.

"Umfh... Your cock feels amazing," I said, glad to be able to speak openly
and to give him his due compliment.

Brian re-angled his hips and thrust back in, mashing his thick pubes into
my taint. Just the right amount of power to his hips sent his fat dick
running along that spot inside me. Pleasure shot into my veins and raised
my pulse. I groaned loud and deep and arched my back to accept his powerful
thrusts. He repeated it.

"Yeah, stud?" he asked in encouragement, excited that I was getting into
this. "I'm glad I nutted already once, cause I don't think I'd last in this
ass otherwise." His voice seemed somehow deeper now, sexier. "Fuck, that's
good... You're so fucking tight."

"Open me up, then," I challenged. It was like every porn video and every
verbal session I'd had in my few years of being sexually active came
pouring out then. "Open my fucking hole."

"Goddamnit!" Brian growled, fucking more steadily into me now as he gripped
my ankles, lifting them from his shoulders, widening my legs so he could
look down and watch his thrusting cock disappear into my jock hole. "You
fucking hot jock fuck. I don't know if I love your cock or your ass
more... Fuuckk!"

The sensations in my chute were intense but familiar. Brian was thicker
than most, but thankfully the man wasn't insanely hung because his strokes
were now rapid and strong, pushing in and out and making my prostate
quiver. If I stroked off, I know I'd get close to cumming. But if I didn't
jerk my dick, the stimulation in my ass would verge into discomfort.

The need to masturbate with Brian's cock nailing me won out. I was already
gripping my hard, fat erection, but I started with a steady stroke in time
with Brian's thrusts as I let Brian drive me to a powerful, toe-curling
orgasm. I was worried I was getting to the finish line too soon, but as I
started climbing toward release, Brian got noticeably excited and doubled
his efforts on my hole.

"That's it, stud... Bust that fucking nut. I'm right there with ya..." he
groaned as his thrusts slowed but grew more powerful. I stroked harder,
watching his face contort as I could see he was on the edge. "Oh FUCK! Here
it comes!" he cried as I felt and watched his muscles seize as he tightly
gripped my ankles. He clenched his jaw and his shaft thickened even more,
right before that first scalding blast fired into my chute. One more pound
against my prostate, that all I needed.

"Don't stop," I begged as I fervently stroked my dick, feeling his second
blast paint my anal walls.

I knew I was getting sauced good, but most of my thoughts and existence
were centered on the short circuit of pleasure from my ass and butt-nut to
my balls and cock - and back again. Brian gave me one more deep thrust, his
cumming cock hitting my nut just right, tipping me over the edge with
him. I let out a series of soft cries, the words not forming, as the liquid
pleasure ripped through my cock. Hot spurts of my semen were firing on to
my chest and abs as my hole clenched tightly on his draining dick.

We were both sweat-drenched and heaving as we caught our breaths, smiling,
with our eyes locked on each other. Brian let go of my legs, resting them
back on his shoulders as he finally dismounted me, his prick softly
plopping out of my cum-drenched hole. He gave a proud and contented look
down at my ass and my nude body, my chest and abs streaked with stripes of
pearly cum. "Dude... definitely feel free to hit me up next time you're in
town. That was hot as fuck."

"It was," I agreed. I caught my breath and lowered my legs, fighting off
the cramping sensation in my quads and hip flexors. My hole buzzed and I
felt royally fucked but all the better for it. It wasn't "Dad in Mexico"
level intense, but it was real, horny sex with another man into me as I was
into him.

Brian offered to let me wash off first but stepped into the shower as I was
in there. "One last dip in the hot tub?" he asked as he soaped up my
younger, muscular body.

"Yeah," I said, happy that this wasn't just a fuck-and-go kind of
hookup. Even if it wasn't romance or going to lead to it, I craved this
kind of connection with men.



***

Sunday morning, I got up and went for an early morning run. I knew I was
back in Norfolk, since I wasn't the only one who decided to get some early
morning cardio. The other jogging men I passed on the sidewalk were for the
most part obviously Navy - buzzcuts with that Navy composure to them. Fit
bodies, strong military builds.

I was still riding the excitement of the sex the evening before, and sight
of all these Navy sailors reminded me of Brian... and my father. What
happened last night hadn't resolved my issues with Dad, or my continued
lust for him. But hooking up with Brian helped me put it into proper
perspective. I was a young man with sexual needs, and a need to explore
sexual connections with men. Last evening gave me the confidence that I'd
meet someone who could be a steady presence in my life.

I showered when I got back to the house and did some homework. My business
management class was going to be tough to pull out an A for. It was
remarkable how much easier it was to focus on school now that I'd gotten my
rocks off.

By 11, I went down to help Dad prepare for holiday dinner. Our family
wasn't particularly church going and ever since Mom died, Dad had never
really pushed us to go to church. So I spent the latter part of the morning
in the kitchen helping Dad get dinner ready. Dad wasn't much of a cook, and
I certainly wasn't any help there, but we'd bought a prepared ham, a couple
of easy sides, and ready-made rolls.

The McGraths had a standing Easter tradition of an early-afternoon dinner
with another family, the Morrisons. Cal Morrison was a Commander who lived
just a few houses down from Dad. The Morrisons had invited us over for
Easter dinner whenever Dad was out at sea, and we returned the favor with
the Morrisons when CMDR Morrison was deployed. Cal and Ellen had a son
Paul's age, and a daughter who was a year younger than me. Even before Mom
passed away, we had this joint Easter whenever it worked out, and since her
passing it had meant a lot to us, particularly to Dad.

Matt went out to pick up some last-minute ice and beer at the convenience
store. As Dad and I made the salad we made superficial small talk as he
asked how my evening had been.

"It was cool," I said, trying to sound nonchalant as I watched Dad slice
some veggies. "We just hung out at Kevin Connors' place." In all honesty, I
hadn't seen Kevin in a good year, he was one of the many teammates I'd lost
track with from high school, and the name was the first that popped into my
head.

Dad nodded thoughtfully. "The Connors moved away in December," he said
simply. Kevin's dad was an officer on base, too.

He didn't look up at me as he kept on slicing. I felt awful that I'd been
caught in a lie. "Yeah," I stammered defeatedly, not knowing what to say.

Dad stopped slicing as he looked up at me and patted my shoulder. "It's OK,
Jim. It's your business, and I don't need to know."

"Thanks," I said, still feeling bad.

"I trust your judgment," he added as he went back to making salad.

It was a Dad thing to say - a statement of fact that he did trust me with
an implicit order that I should continue to have good judgment.

Matt had barely gotten back around 12:30 when the Morrisons arrived.

It was great to see them. When I was a teenager, I sometimes approached
these events as a family obligation. But now that I was older I had a
deeper awareness of what deployment meant for Dad. I really did value this
time with family and family friends.

After dinner, Matt had to head back to Annapolis early, so around 4 p.m. we
both bid our goodbyes and hit the road.

***

I got back to Charlottesville and my apartment a little after 7. I was glad
I'd tackled a lot of my homework that weekend, but I had a couple hours
worth to do still.

I was at my desk in my room reading one assignment when I heard a knock on
my open door. I hadn't even heard my roommate come in, I'd been so absorbed
in my textbook.

"Hey, Holt," I said as I looked up. Charlie was bulking up during his off
season and now looked even bigger, every bit of what you'd expect a
linebacker for a Division I team to look like. Big shoulders, big chest,
girthy middle. Even with his oversized T-shirt and ill-fitting jeans, he
cut a commanding presence.

"How was your Easter, McGrath?" he asked, stepping into my room and
plopping his butt familiarly on my bed.

"It was good," I said, spinning around in my chair, smiling as I remembered
my fling with Brian and most of all appreciating the fact that Dad and I
still had a good relationship after all that had happened. "Great to see my
Dad and my brother." It was the kind of thing I always said, but this time
the words rang particularly true. I was happy that I'd taken the step to
spend time with Dad as a son, and nothing more. My lust hadn't gone away,
but there hadn't been the tension I'd feared.

"How about yours?" I asked.

"OK," he said, shrugging his shoulders. I could see that he came in to tell
me something. "Actually, I came out to my parents." Holt's family were very
religious and conservative - small-town, Virginia folk. So, I knew this was
a big weight on him.

"Wow," I said, surprised. "How'd it go?"

"They weren't happy," my best friend said with his game face. He didn't
often show serious emotion, but this was clearly an important matter. "But
they didn't yell at me or disown me or anything.... So I guess that's
good."

"Oh, Charlie, man... I'm sorry," I said, feeling for my bud. "This shit
sucks, doesn't it?"

He grinned at me gamely and nodded. "Pretty much, McGrath. But they'll
probably come around some. Anyway... I'm glad I did it." He nodded at my
open textbook. "Too busy to have a drink with me tonight?"

I turned back to my desk, shutting my book before pulling back my chair. I
could get up early and finish the rest of my work.

We didn't watch TV. We just pulled out a fifth of bourbon and sipped our
liquor and talked on the sofa in the living room. I think Holt needed
someone to talk to, and I felt honored to be his friend.

At some point, I decided to share my news. "So... this weekend... I finally
tried out the online thing." Charlie and I didn't always share details of
our sex lives. It was a way we kept boundaries as friends. But we weren't
shy about talking about sex in general, as two buds would.

It was his turn to be surprised. He knew I didn't use any of the dating or
hookup sites. "Really? How'd it go McGrath?" he asked, finally grinning.

I smiled, almost uncontrollably as I thought back to my session with
Brian. "The sex was incredible, man. And I guess I'm glad I did it."

"You guess?" Charlie teased. "The sex couldn't have been that incredible
then."

I laughed. "I mean, yeah, no regrets when it came to the guy. He was my
type totally.... Holt, I think I'm really into older guys." I don't know
why I felt embarrassed to admit this to Charlie. I mean, the guy's pretty
laid-back about everything.

He smirked, giving me a little side-eye. "No shit? I guess I should have
guessed from that professor you had a fling with." I'd told Holt about
David, the Spanish professor I'd seen off and on the previous fall and
winter. "But I figured you just were having fun with some forbidden fruit."

I blushed, thinking about how perceptive my buddy could be. Maybe one thing
driving my attraction to older men was the sense that I shouldn't be
chasing them. Dad especially.

"Maybe there's a bit of that," I admitted. "But physically and emotionally,
older guys just do it for me. Like, I'd be happy to be with a guy in his
40s... is that fucked up, Holt?"

He leaned back and took a sip of bourbon. "You want my honest opinion,
McGrath?" he asked.

Nervously, I told him I did.

"Well..." Holt started thoughtfully, "If you were one of those dudes wired
for no-strings sex, I'd say go for it. I mean, I enjoy sucking an older
dick every now and again, it's a nice change of pace..." He looked at me
with a gaze that told me he wasn't judging me, but speaking with my best
interests at heart. "But you're such a goddamn romantic, McGrath. I just
don't want you to keep chasing something that's not going to work."

I nodded. "I've thought about that myself," I said softly. "Goddamnit,
Holt, why is this stuff so hard?" I asked as I leaned back into the sofa
with clear frustration.

"Don't beat yourself up," he said encouragingly. He paused and looked at me
as if he were trying to read me. "You in love with someone, McGrath?" he
asked point blank.

I obviously couldn't tell him about Dad. And to be honest, I wasn't even
sure what my emotions were when it came to my father. I just shook my
head. "No... but I do want a boyfriend, Holt. Bad."

"It'll come," Charlie said. "Give it time."

"You ever think you'll date someone, Holt?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Probably. For now, I enjoy playing the
field. Fuck, I'm only 21, I figure I got plenty of time to be a boring
married guy in my 30s."

I laughed. There was something infectious about Charlie's devil-may-care
attitude. "Thing is, I kind of enjoy playing the field, too. It's like I
can't decide what I want."

"I was surprised to hear you'd gone online," he said.

"I got a little freaked out because the guy knew who I was.... You ever
worry about that?"

Holt shook his head. "It's going to happen eventually," my roommate
said. "People are going to find out I'm gay. I guess I kind of want them
to."

That made me quiet. The idea of being discovered weighted heavily on
me. And I knew Holt was wrestling with his own coming out to his
parents. In some ways, he had the opposite problem I did. My family had
been great, but it was the rest of the world I was nervous about. Charlie
couldn't care less what the rest of the world thought of him, but he had to
deal with what his parents thought.

Holt poured another three-quarters inch of bourbon into our glasses. "All I
can say, McGrath, is you damn well better make it to the pros. I don't want
all this worrying of yours to be for nothing."

"Yeah," I agreed.

"But McGrath?" he added. "You're the best friend a guy could have. I don't
know where I'd be without you."

***

I was moody and a little drunk when I finally went to bed. It had been a
long, wild weekend emotionally for me, and I thought that getting off would
be the last thing on my mind.

But as I turned out the lights and slipped into bed, I realized my dick was
getting hard. Maybe it was the talk of sex. Or maybe I was like every other
20-year-old.

I peeled down my briefs and pulled out the Vaseline in my night stand. The
petroleum jelly felt cool and sticky in my palm but soon slicked out as I
stroked my cock. I thought of men I'd slept with - Dad, Jack, Glen Evans,
Kevin Marshall, Josiah the football player, David, the professor, my hookup
Brian.... my brain conjured them all in succession, in vivid detail. I
remembered the first time I'd sucked Pete Miller's dick, or the times he'd
sucked mine. I thought of my favorite porn actors and models. I thought of
my accounting professor, and Coach Weir, and the 40-something guy who did
the sports announcing on the local TV station. The bourbon had dulled my
rapid sexual response, and I was able to indulge the wild fantasies, men
interchanging. Sucking me, fucking me, sandwiching me in a threesome or
orgy.

For twenty minutes I stroked, getting more and more into it before my balls
finally released their heavy wad, making me grunt loudly on my bed.

I wiped down and realized I was in a better mood. Fearing that I'd go on
chasing what I couldn't get, I vowed that night I'd give guys my age more
of a shot. But I also decided I wouldn't be ashamed of my desires. These
older men had a pull on me, a deep, sexually satisfying pull, and I knew
that to fight that would be to deny a part of me.