Date: Tue, 5 Mar 2019 15:45:46 -0600 From: Armando F Subject: New Adventures with Older Brother Part 28 Disclaimer – This story is a work of fiction, and depicts incestual sexual action between teen boys. If you are uncomfortable with that, or live in a community where that material is forbidden, please stop reading. Don't forget, Nifty is a great resource, so please donate! http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html Some of you will be happy about this, some of you might not. So many people want the story to end in so many different ways! Which makes me more excited to write it, to see where all of you think this is going. In the words of a certain Superhero movie, we're approaching Endgame! Please send all comments and critiques to my email at army.mando9@gmail.com! Chapter 28: You've Got Mail The steam of the shower hung in the room, even after I turned it off and brushed my teeth, staring into the mirror. Like a sort of heavy fog... But it wasn't cold or oppressive as it used to be. Like trading a suicide dash through Silent Hill for a happy stroll in the morning mist. For weeks it felt like I was just... stuck in this shitty-ass quagmire of lies. Sinking under the weight of my own lies and bullshit. Digging deeper hoping to make it to China to be free, rather than looking up and just... letting go. The Army looking back looks pretty nice now. Less bags under his eyes, messy hair that looks cute rather than a rats nest. Lee joked yesterday that I look like crap, and guess it stuck to try and look better. At least I feel the way I can look. I looked down and admired the view... My chest has its first few hairs! Well, its around the nipples, and the handful of strands are dark as ebony against my skin. A hint of pride held up by the hairs of faux-maturity! Maybe in a few years I'll actually look like my age! I toss on my shorts and a t-shirt, and roam into the kitchen to find... something to eat. Ugh, I'm starving. Looking around, all I see is a note... Nice helicopter parenting, Mom. But something else catches my eye... A blinking light from the wall phone. Weird. Guess mom missed it. Oh well, not like I have much better to do. I press play on the machine and let the message run. First it was a little static-y, like someone rubbing the phone on their pants like some kind of weirdo, and some weird hushed talking. I leaned in closer to pick out any words... "-rt talking!" Hmmm... Sounded like Harry? Maybe he missed me during his trip. "Harry, I can't..." Wait, it's not... I froze. "Come on, y-" More hushed static. "-how you feel. Like what -*CRIZH* Whatever, just talk!" Oh Harry, what did you do... "Fuck!" I recognize that fuck anywhere... It's my brother... It's Ben... No mistake now. Holy cow... Hooooooooooly pasture of all the magical farm animals! "Hey... It's me..." His voice is now coming in clear, slicing clean through the static and the noise and the room and my heart. Like some kind of zweihander, just cutting with no regard to resistance or defense. "Listen, I'm... I know we're... Uhh... Weird right now and... Fuck!" I guess he's drunk... Figures. Ben whispers off the phone and I can barely hear Harry whisper back. "Army... I know we didn't leave off in a good place. But we're still brothers, and I... I still care about you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about... Shit, a lot of things. Me leaving. Me feeling insecure about the future. Me being myself. Look, I love you, alright?" My body and mind feel empty. I don't know how to react, how to respond, what to think. Hearing Ben already threw me completely off, but this? Just... He kept going, talking about forgiveness, regret... I smiled when he complimented by punching arm. I couldn't help but fucking smile. How fucking weak of me. After spending weeks pissed the fuck off at him, what do I do? Just up and forgive him over a drunk voice mail? What is this, a shitty rom com? But... I can't hide that hearing his voice melted my whole world. I feel like I'm both on the verge of tears and laughing my absolute ass off into oblivion. My heart just went from an empty well to a whole secret dungeon filled with treasures and monsters and secrets galore. Fuck... What do I do? "Ugh, fuck... Just... I miss you, okay? I miss you a lot. I don't know when we'll... y'know, see each other again, but... You're my best friend, and... This is so fucking gay... I miss you... Okay?" This is really fucking gay. Fuck, I miss him too... The voice mail trails off into silence for a second, before I hear Harry fucking laughing his head off in the background. "YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Guess Harry didn't tell Ben it was a voicemail... That little devil. He knows just how to fuck with people using their phones. The message finally ended after some additional shouting in the background. Guess Ben dropped the phone and went to get some payback. I lay against the wall next to the phone and put my hands to my eyes, blotting out all the light and the colors and the distractions. Part of me is just... overwhelmed with this. Knowing what Ben feels. But... part of me isn't ready to accept that yet. Maybe its... fear? Pessimism? I just... feel like I don't know what to do about this. Or anything. I just barely got back to a good place, and suddenly this serendipitous genie's wish pops onto my lap? Or maybe it's a monkey's paw? Or maybe I'm just being an idiot? Fuck... I grab the phone off the receiver and stare at the dial pad. What do I do? Think think think... Ugh, what am I, Winnie the Pooh? Though I do look cute in a t shirt and no pants... Ha. Fuck, no time for stupid jokes... Maybe later? My back slides down the wall, letting the thoughts and hopes and nightmares weigh me down till I hit the floor, crumpled and broken like a dummy someone tossed to the side. Come on, Army... You got this. Just... Do something. Anything. But why? Even if I called Ben back... What would that do? He can't just up and leave to come back here... Then we're back at square 1? Or even less than that. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try though? At least try to start repairing that relationship. And if we end up in the same spot again? Or worse? I can't imagine a way this conversation doesn't just turn into the Blame Game. He said, he said shit. Does it matter? He's your brother, and he extended an olive branch. Not of his own volition... Had Harry not been there and tricked him, where would he be? Still doing whatever the fuck he's doing still. Fucking surfer twinks and forgetting about me... ... I shook my head. "This is stupid... Arguing with myself? Am I that stupid? That's never going to work." Looking back at the phone, I dial... . . . . . "You sure you're okay? You haven't said a word since I picked you up." Lee gave me his best crooked smile and grabbed my hand, the mix of the soft warmth and the rough callouses anchoring me to the moment... To him. To keep my thoughts from spiraling. I look around and realize he took us to Whataburger. Guess he figured food would be a good way to get me to talk. He's not wrong... Fastest way to a man's heart and all. "I'm... A lot on my mind. That's all..." He nodded and grabbed my empty cup. "Root beer, then?" I nodded back. Don't really know why I called Lee... You'd think this would be super fucking awkward, but... He also knows everything. Who else am I gonna talk to? Mom? Harry if he wasn't secretly plotting to get me and Ben to make up... Playing sexy double agent. The nerve... Lee came back, cold refreshing drink in hand, and passed it to me. I smiled, but it faded quickly... The stress on my mind has just taken the joy out of everything today. "Well... I'm ready whenever you are." I sighed and looked out the window, struggling to find the words... Which is weird, because Lee already knows everything. Why do I feel weird about this? Gawd, this is stupid... "Army, come on. You called me, you need help, just... skip the dramatics and just tell me." He's right, gotta stop pussy footing. I'll figure out the issue later... or during, who knows. "Ben called me last night... He left a voice mail." "And? Oh dear fuck, just give me the story!" I recounted all the details of the drunken voice mail that Ben was tricked into leaving me. Just the words, nothing about how I felt yet... I still wasn't sure how I felt at all, honestly. "Did you call him?" "No... I called you instead." "Why? Army, I'm your friend, but I'm not the person you should talk to about this. Ben is. We established that." "But..." "What could be so wrong?" "I'm not... Am I ready to forgive him? Should I just drop all my anger, like that? I want to, but..." Lee sighed. "Listen... Your anger is yours, yes. But that's not what's stopping you. It's your pride. You are so hard headed about being right that I suspect you won't forgive Ben... Unless he was, like, on his knees begging for forgiveness. What he did to you sucked, I know that, but..." His hand reached over and grabbed mine, gripping me to the moment again. "Stop being a pussy and man up, and fix this together. Not separately, not bitterly. Being petty about your righteousness will only make things worse. He's trying to give you an olive branch... Do the right thing." Fuck... Fucking damn it, Lee is right. Maybe that's why I felt weird telling Lee... He isn't going to fuel my martyr complex, my sainthood born from the knife in my back. Our food arrived right on time, so we just went back to eating and joking around, but Lee made sure to remind me I had an important task to do when I get home... . . . . . We got back, and Lee basically pushed me inside, marching me right up to the phone. "Do it. I'm right here with you, okay?" "Okay." I grabbed the phone and started pressing the digits to Ben's cell. 8... 3... 2... "With some urgency, you goofball." Lee smiled and patted me on the shoulder. I dialed the rest and... my heart was stuck in my throat, lodged deep, every beat like a tremor in my head. How will I be able to fucking talk? What do I even say? "... Army?" The voice rang through the phone. Ben's voice, live and for real, not a voice mail or an illusion or a wetdream. "Hey..." was all I could muster out, barely a whisper... I felt winded, my breath just barely out of reach. The silence took hold over the line, broken only by the sounds of us breathing into the speakers. Guess he was lost as I was. "Army, come on." Lee broke the trance, muttering into my ear. "Just start. It doesn't have to be a big step. Just let him know you got his message, and..." I nodded and took the deepest breath I could. To focus, to center myself. If you gotta repair a bridge, you gotta start with something, right? "Ben... I got your voice mail. And..." Shit, come on, you fucking idiot, figure out what to say. "I know it's tough for us right now, I guess. I'm sorry for... for getting mad at you, and hitting you, and... Well, everything. I'm glad to hear from you." His breathing continued over the speaker in response, deliberate... Guess he is also trying to find the right words. "I know it was sudden... and I was drunk, but... I meant what I said last night. I know I should have talked to you about it, but I was... *sigh*... I was scared, y'know? I wasn't ready to hurt you... Hurt us. Yet that's exactly what ended up happening. I wasn't used to... having to share what I think, what I feel..." He trailed off. "It's... okay..." My chest felt heavy, the stones and debris finally materializing in my mind. I felt a small pressure behind my eyes, but I forced myself not to cry. Gotta be mature about this, like Lee said. "Let's not talk about what... went wrong, okay? We can save that for later..." Ben sniffed... Fuck, guess he's all emotional too. "You're right." "Are you... doing okay?" I wasn't sure how to skip past the awkwardness, but might as well be simple about it. We talked for a while, just about what's been going on. How's work, how's summer vacation, is Mom doing okay, play any new games, have you heard Harry's awful cowboy impression? But... We avoided the main subject. He didn't bring it up, and I didn't feel ready to talk about it... About Us. It didn't feel appropriate as a phone conversation. Neither of us seemed ready. Chatting about mundane stuff with him was nice though. No stress, no worries, no wondering if it could go wrong. It was... nice, honestly. Not like the shit show I was expecting... It felt like old times, a little. Felt like we were re-discovering on rhythm. "-and Harry somehow convinced an artist to get him a tattoo, which I don't even know how. But he's still passed out in the back... Surprised you haven't heard him snoring, guy sounds like someone shoved a potato into his sinuses." Ben laughed, recounting some of last nights events. "What did he get?" "I think he'll prefer to show you. I'll make it sound lamer than it actually is." "When's he supposed to leave?" "Soon I think... The earlier the better. I'm scared to leave my phone around him. Guy's dangerous with that thing!" Ha, he has no idea. "How's... the job thing going?" I felt weird asking. It's the whole reason we fought... But maybe part of me was curious if it was worth it? "Yeah, it's great, honestly. I actually feel pretty good waking up and going to work. Learning a ton about trucks and 18-wheelers and stuff, fixing them up and cleaning them and stuff. Next week we're supposed to be installing some kind of GPS system on all them, so that'll be cool." "I bet..." I guess it's a relief to know he actually likes his job. Ben always was a good hands-on person. "So..." "Sooooooooooooo..." "What did you get then? For your tattoo" "You know me, Army, what do you think I got?" "A tattoo on your forehead that says 'Asswipe'?" "No!... I got that on my wrists! Left wrist says ass, right says wipe." He laughed for a few seconds. "Kidding, what do you think I really got?" "Hmmmm...," I thought out loud for a second, but I knew the answer already. "A wolf, I bet." You could hear the smile over the phone... _ _ _ _ _ I was still on the phone chatting with Army when Harry finally woke up... Or rather, freaked out and ran to the bathroom. The deep sounds of vomiting filled the house. Fucking gawd damn it. "Army, listen man... I'm really glad you called. I was worried my little... thing would just scare you off." "It's fine. Drunk Ben is always fun to listen to." "Well, speaking of Drunk Ben, I gotta help out Hungover Harry... Sounds like I got a mess on my hands... and my bathroom floor." "Ha, okay then. Talk to you later... Ben." "You too, Armando..." I set my phone down and take a deep breath... Well, that wasn't the shit show I was expecting. Things may not be the same but we still somehow were able to talk like how we were. Mostly. There's still the elephant in the room but... We'll cross that bridge with that fat ass elephant when we are ready. It's too early to support the weight of that thing. "Ughhhhh.... Bennnnnnn." The sounds of a dying zombie filled my house. I turn around and see Harry... Or the shadow of him, dear lord, the guy is covered in his own vomit. "I uhh... I missed the toilet. I feel like I'm... blehhhhh... dying? Is this death? Ben... I'm too young to die." What did I get myself into. "You're not dying, shish. Come on, bud, let's get you washed up..." I guided (well, more like carried. Poor guy) Harry back to the bathroom and set him down in the shower. I grabbed my only towel (What, I'm just a single guy?) and tried to clean up the vomit. Actually this stuff doesn't gross me out too much... Not my first regretful alcohol rodeo. Though I don't think I got enough towels. Well, guess I'll use some old shirts and wash them later. Harry just looked miserable, sitting there staring at the drain... He hasn't even turned on the water. I feel bad for the little guy. Probably the real first time I've seen Harry not being cool and above it all, just sort of... lifeless and drained. "You gotta turn on the water, dork." He grunted but refused to move. Or maybe just couldn't, scared that he'll just upchuck more. Oh well, I guess I'll turn on the shower for him. First though, let's get these gross clothes off him. I help him out of his shirt and jeans, like a big dumb baby, and he sat there in his boxers, lifeless. Still looks like crap. Well, less like crap? Its like comparing a dumpster fire to a landfill... that is also on fire? It was bad. "It might be cold, so... just... brace yourself?" I turned it on, and like the lighting that hit Frankenstein (Army would make some comment on how its his monster, but whatever, who gives a fuck?), the rush of freezing rain hit his body, and he howled at the sun and the moon and all the shit in the sky. Hopefully that woke him back up... . . . . . I sat back on my bed and listened to the sound of the shower head in the bathroom. Harry had been in there for a good while, but I let him. He looked like he needed it, and I needed some time to myself. Army called back. Thats a good sign, right? But he said he didn't want to talk about the wrong stuff, but I mean... It's still a fresh wound to him. I mean, it is to me too... Took a drunken prank to make me call him. Isn't that kind of sad? It got the job done at least. I just don't really know where we stand right now. We talked like old times, but yeah... Just with that awkward part that we don't want to bring up. I guess maybe that's a good thing... Let things resume naturally before we try to force something that most likely won't work. What is the next step though? Do we try again? Should we? Is that a stupid idea? I normally do a salted earth thing with girls. Hit it till I'm bored or they get clingy and weird, then quit it full force. Just seems easier that way, y'know? But... Army is different. He's special, and I'm special to him. We're... good together. We just had some growing pains, right? Maybe instead of thinking about this right now, I should just focus on the good stuff. We talked, it was nice... I miss the little bozo. And it's nice to know that on some level, he missed me too. . . . . . Harry eventually got better, thanks to that long ass shower. Guy better write me a check because water ain't cheap around here. Funny thing was... Since his clothes were all wet or covered in gross shit, and the only towel was also ruined. He had to sneak out using only his hands to cover himself. And I gotta say... Well, he needed both hands to cover the front, which gave me a nice view of the back... Like 2 pale balloons. Whoever gets the tame that ass will be a lucky guy. Or that dick. Even with both hands, was obvious he was still packing some serious heat, haha. "Take a picture, fucker, it'll last longer." "Yeah, but then I'd stain and ruin that picture in a week!" "Shut up and help me find my backpack. I need some clothes and I don't want Riley to get any ideas." "Ideas?" "Jealousy. She still wants 1 ticket to paradise, aka your dick." I laughed so hard. Poor girl. Maybe some day she'll find a guy half as good as me. We finally found Harry's bag and he quickly got dressed, but he flashed that ass one more time before leaving... Nice ass-flash for some sore-ass eyes, if you ask me. Hopping back in my truck, we rode off to drop him off with his sister before their parents get ready to head home. Thankfully traffic wasn't too bad. Still hell, but like... a less terrible hell. Limbo? That always sounds like a fun place. Except if you drop the stick, I guess. Wait, wrong limbo. "Thanks for the night, Ben. I had a blast." Harry reached over and gave me a hug, giving me his biggest elfish smile. "No problem, dork. Don't forget to take care of that tattoo, Army really wants to see it." "You talked to him?" "Yeah, he called. He'll tell you about it, okay? Get going." "Ugh, fine. Bye!" He opened my truck door and dashed out to go find his sister. I smiled, watching him. He's such a good guy. Even if he can't hold his liquor. Or his vomit... Turning on my car radio, I get ready to drive back home... Wait... Shit... WAIT! GAWD DAMN IT! I got one last thing I have to do... Fuck, where did Harry go?! _ _ _ _ _ I tried to play it cool after the phone call. Didn't think about calling him back too fast, didn't really think much at all about the whole thing, honestly... Maybe that's just a good way of dealing with it for now. Play it slow. But a part of me keeps trying to explore what if's... What if Ben moved back? What if we got back together? What if he didn't want to? What if he found a new boyfriend? Or a new girlfriend? What if she was pretty and blonde and had such perky tits? What if she's like "Oh Beeeeeen, please fuck me. I'm on the pill, you don't need a condom, tee hee" and she's wearing like some kind of lacy negligee and it's red and- Snap out of it, Armando. Stop being stupid. A few days went by since then. Other than Lee calling to see how I'm doing, all quiet on the... central front? Since Ben's on the western front. Ugh, stupid reference that doesn't work. Harry called me when he got back into town, asking if we could hang out that night. Gee wiz, can't wait to hear about his hangover... He drove by around evening time... He looked a little less pale, like if someone used the wrong white color on a ghost. Guess he got a tan... It's weird. Totally not his thing. "Hey stranger!" He gave me the tightest hug. Guess he really did miss me. "Hey Harry. So whats this about a tattoo?" "Aww, Ben spoiled the surprise. Yeah, I got this. It's still healing though." He lifts his shirt and showed off the dark as night wrench against his white as fuck skin. "That looks super good! What does it mean though?" "I'll tell you in a second. First, I come bearing gifts!" Harry made a big show of his backpack, presenting it like a hostess on Wheel of Fortune or something. "Your brother told me to give this to you!" He pulled out a CD case... WAIT! That's the one from my favorite band... The one they all signed! From the night I met Lee... I thought I had lost it! Guess Ben took it on accident... I grabbed it out of Harry's hands and opened the jewel case, making sure the disc was still in there, but a small folded note fell out instead. "Whats this?" "Hmm. Not sure." Simply said "To Army" on the front of it. It's in Ben's handwriting... End of Chapter 28 Thanks for reading!