Nicholas And Mark

Please send any and all comments or suggestions to:  ericdraven10@angelfire.com

Dear Readers:

Well, here we are again with chapter 10.  I honestly do not know how much longer this story will continue.   To be completely honest, I had almost all of the rest of the story ready to go, but then my computer crashed, and I lost everything that I had written.  So, now I have to start from scratch.  No worries, however.  The story will continue pretty much the way I had intended it to.  I am not sure if I will be introducing many new characters to this story.  As I have said before, I plan to end it very soon.

I was asked in a recent email if I intended to introduce my next story on Nifty.  The answer is yes.  I can't wait to introduce you all to the characters of my new story.  No, I have not been writing it between installments of Nicholas And Mark.  I try to devote myself to the project that I am working on completely.  That isn't to say that all I ever do is sit around and write gay erotic fiction.  I wish life was that easy.  I have a real job, and I have a real life.

Well enough of all of that.  I will stop rambling and get on with the story.  I hope to hear from all of you soon.

Later,

Eric Draven

Nicholas And Mark

By Eric Draven

Chapter 10

Narrated by Mark

   I couldn't believe how sore my ass was.  Pete had really given me a work out.  I don't know how I sat on the kitchen chair all through lunch, but I did it.  The entire time, my ass was on fire.  At least I had enjoyed making it sore.  Having sex with Pete was like a dream come true.  I remembered all the times that I had fantasized about him.  Even before I realized that I was gay, I knew that I was attracted to Pete.  I just wasn't sure that I could keep letting him fuck me.  It felt great while he was inside of me, but it hurt like Hell after it was over!

    I still wasn't sure about what was going on with Nick.  I love my brother very much.   Having sex with him was wonderful, but I wasn't so sure that I wanted it to continue now that I was having sex with Pete.  I still wasn't sure what to think about what Pete told me that Nick had said to him before he left the house.  I knew that I didn't want Nick to know that I was sleeping with Pete.  It would only drive a wedge between us, and I didn't want that to happen.  Nick and I had only just become close, and I really liked the way our relationship had changed.  I didn't want to go back to the distance that was always between us.

    "You are being awfully quiet," said Pete, bring me back out of my thoughts.  He was sitting at the head of the table wearing only a pair of running shorts.  I'm not sure if he knew just how sexy he really was.  Looking at him kept my dick hard, and in spite of the pain, my asshole itched to have his dick back inside it.

    "I was just thinking about Nick," I said.

    "Yeah, me too," he said.  He put his head down and stared at the table.

    "I don't want him to know about what has been going on between me and you," he said.

    "Well, I'm sure not going to tell him," I said.

    Having him mention the sex between us only made me wonder exactly what he really thought about it.   When I asked him what he thought about it, he attacked me.  I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy his attack completely, but I still wanted to talk it out with him.   I was a little afraid of what he would say, but I needed to know exactly where we stood.

    "You're doing it again," he said when I didn't say anything for a while.

    "Sorry," I replied.

    "Are you all right?" he asked, looking at me seriously for a moment.

    "I'm ok," I said.  "I just keep wondering what you are thinking. I know that you say that having sex with me isn't bothering you, but . . ."

    "Mark," he said and then stopped.  He looked at me for a few minutes as if he didn't know what to say to me.  Then his face softened and he smiled.  "I don't know exactly what I feel for you. I know that I care about you."

    "You care about Nick, too," I said.

    "Not in the same way," he sighed.  "I don't know how to say any of this."

    "It's all right," I said, knowing what he was going to say.

    "Wait," he said.  He must have seen the disappointment in my face.  "I didn't say that I want to stop doing what we do. I am not trying to find a way to tell you that I don't want to be with you. I look at you and all I think about is holding you and making love to you. I have never thought that way about a guy in my life. You have no idea how this feels for me."

    "You are wrong there, Pete," I said.  "I didn't always know that I was gay. It wasn't easy for me to accept it when I discovered it, either. I'm sure that I felt very close to the way you are feeling right now."

    "I didn't say that I'm gay, Mark," he said quickly.

    "I didn't say that, either," I said.

    We were both quiet for a while.  I didn't know what to say to him after that.  The last thing that I wanted was for him to think that I was assuming things about his lifestyle.   I could have kicked myself for saying what I'd said.  I knew that he didn't believe that I meant it in any other way than what it had sounded like.  I felt like an idiot.

    I wasn't sure exactly what I was feeling for him, either.  How could I expect him to voice his feelings for me.  I wasn't even sure that he had feelings for me.  Sure he'd said he did, but if he was feeling anything close to the way that I felt when I'd had to start dealing with my sexuality, then he was in no position to confess feelings for anyone.  I should never have opened my mouth!

    "I'm sorry," he said.  "I didn't mean to imply . . ."

    "I'm sorry, too," I broke in.  "I only meant that it is hard to discover that what you thought one day is completely different from what you think on another day. I didn't mean to imply . . ."

    "Hey," he said, stopping me.  "I know what you meant, Mark. Like I said, I don't know exactly what it is that I feel for you, but I do feel something for you. It is a lot stronger than friendship."

    "You don't really know me that well, Pete," I said, thinking about the fact that we really had never talked much.  He didn't know anything about me, and I didn't know anything about him.  I didn't know what he liked, or what he didn't like.  I didn't know what made him tick. I knew just as little about him as he did about me.

    "I realize that," he replied.  "But what I do know about you is enough for me to care about you."

    "I know that I care about you, too," I said.

    "Well, then we're even," he said, smiling at me.

    I washed the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen while Pete got dressed and worked on some of his paperwork on his computer.  I was trying to take as much time as I could, so I would be in the kitchen when Nick came back.  We always used the kitchen door, so I knew that this would be the room that he would come through.

    I was a little nervous about what would happen when he did come home.  Pete had said that Nick wanted to get an apartment.  That wasn't something that I wanted.  I wanted to stay right where I was.  I couldn't exactly tell Nick what the reason for that was, though.  I would have no choice but to go with what Nick decided to do.   When I thought about it, it really was getting to me.

    I was a little confused about what I was going to tell Nick when he came home.  If he said that he wanted to move to an apartment, how was I going to tell him that I didn't want to go with him.  I wasn't even sure that Pete would let me stay here without Nick.   Just because he said he cared about me didn't mean that he was ready for a relationship with me.

    Then there was the sexual aspect of my relationship with Nick.  I wasn't sure how to stop having sex with him.  I couldn't even believe that I suddenly didn't want to have sex with him anymore.  It was just two days ago that I was dissappointed because he hadn't let me reciprocate the last time that we'd had sex.  Now I was about to tell him that I didn't want to have sex at all.  How could I tell him that one?

    As it turned out, I didn't have to worry about it so much at the time.  Nick didn't come home for quite a while.  I was making dinner when I heard his car pull up.  Pete was still in his room, so I knew that he hadn't heard his car.  I thought that this might give me the opportunity to talk to Nick first.  I just didn't know what I was going to say to him.

    "Dinner is almost ready," I told Pete.

    "Is Nick here?" he asked me.  I guess he really hadn't heard Nick at all.

    "Yes, he is outside in his car," I replied.

    "I was wondering if you were purposefully trying to make noise by opening and shutting doors," he said, winking at me.

    "I don't think he's planning to come in the house," I said.

    "If he doesn't come in soon, then I shall go out after him," he said.  "Dinner smells great, by the way."

    "Thank you," I replied, trying to act as if eveything was fine.  What I really felt was far from normal.

    I turned everything off and then went into the living room.  I watched Nick sitting in his car through the window.  I didn't think that he saw me, though.  He never looked at the house.

    I called Eddie, my friend from school.  He and I were in the same Trig class, and there was a test coming.  I wasn't sure that I wanted to be here for what was going to happen between Nick and Pete.  I wanted to be anywhere but there.

    I told Eddie to meet me a block away, and then I told Pete where I was going.

    "You don't want to be here for this discussion, do you?" he said.

    "I think the two of you need a little privacy," I replied.

    He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me.  It was one of the softest kisses I had ever had.  He held me tight and I felt his tongue on my lips, so I opened them to receive it.

    "I really do care about you," he whispered as he broke the kiss.

    "I care about you, too," I said.

    I walked out of the house thinking of how I was going to tell Nick that I was in love with Pete.

***Narrated By Nick***

     I didn't know what to do.  I couldn't believe that I had admitted to Pete that I was attracted to him.  What was I thinking? I was sure that our friendship was completely over.  Pete had done everything but come right out and tell me that he was disgusted by my attraction.  I was about to lose my best friend.

    I thought about it the whole time I was at the gym.   Pete was the only thing I could think about.  I kept watching the door to see if he would come in, but he never did.  That just went to show me that he wanted nothing to do with me.  I couldn't believe how stupid I had been.  I was dreading returning to Pete's house.  I knew that he would ask me to leave the house as soon as I got there.

    Then there was Mark to think about.  I didn't know exactly what he felt for me, other than brotherly love.  I didn't want to do anything to hurt my brother.  I loved the sex that we had, but I wasn't sure that I wanted it to continue.  I told myself that every day, but as soon as I lay next to him in bed, his body was all I could think about.  I didn't know if he had heard the conversation between me and Pete, but I hoped that he hadn't been upset if he had.

    I drove around for almost two hours before finally giving in and going back to Pete's.  I didn't know what to say to him, and I didn't think I would ever be able to face him.  I didn't want to move out, but I didn't think that I could stay in his house with him and not be able to touch him.  I was sure that after our talk, he wouldn't want me to stay in his house anyway.

    The sun was going down when I pulled up in front of Pete's.  I sat there staring at the steering wheel for what seemed like forever.   I still didn't think I was ready to go inside.  What would Pete say? What would I say? How was I supposed to look Mark in the eye if he'd heard me and Pete talking?

    "Are you going to sit there all night?"

    I jumped and jerked my head around to look Pete directly in the eye.  My heart was in my throat, and I'd almost wet myself.

    "I was thinking about it," I said, turning my head back so I could continue to stare at the steering wheel.

    "Well, I think it would be better if you came into the house and had dinner with me," he said.  "Nick, we really need to talk."

    Here it comes, I thought.  This was where he was going to tell me that he wanted me to move out.  I didn't think I was ready for that discussion, but I couldn't sit out there all night long.  I got out and followed Pete into the house.

    "Whare is Mark?" I asked, noticing that there were only two plates on the table, and Mark was nowhere to be found.

    "He is with a friend from school," Pete said.   He started placing dinner on the table.  "They are studying for a test."

    "Oh," I said, sitting down at the table.   I kept watching Pete as he went back and forth from the stove to the table.  I didn't know what to say to him.  I wanted so badly to take back our conversation, but there was no way to undo what I'd already done.

    "First," he siad, sitting down across from me.  "You and Mark can stay here forever, Nick. I don't want you to move out. I like having both of you here."

    "Even knowing how I feel?" I asked.

    "Yes," he said.  "Nick, just because I don't return your feelings, doesn't mean that I don't care about you."

    "How are you going to be able to sit in the same house with me, knowing that . . ."

    "Nick, do you think I haven't known all along?" he asked.  "I'm not blind, and you aren't as good at hiding things from me as you think. I've known about you since we were in high school. I've seen the way you look at me in the showers at the gym, too. Now, do you think that I can't stand you?"

    "You've known all this time?" I asked, not believing.

    "It wasn't really all that difficult to see, Nick," he said.  "I didn't stop being your friend over it then, and I'm not going to stop being your friend now."

    I was dumbfounded.  How much did he really know? I wondered.  If he knew how I felt about him all this time, then how much did he know now? He said that I wasn't as good at hiding things from him as I thought, so did he know about me and Mark?

    "You knew."  It was all I could think of to say.  I was so affraid of opening my mouth and giving away what I was thinking.

    "I know a lot more than you think," he said, making me a bit more affraid than I already was.

    "What do you know?" I demanded a little more strongly than I'd intended.

    "I know about you and Mark," he said flatly.

    I stared at him for what seemed like forever.  How could he know about me and Mark? We had been so careful.  How could he know?

    "I came to wake you up the other day," he said, answering my question before I could voice it.  "I saw you and Mark."

    "Oh God," I said, feeling my stomach lurch.

    "Don't be so upset," he said.  "I had my suspisions the day you two moved in. You said yourself that Mark had been sleeping in your bed at the trailer."

    I had said that.  I'd given it away on the first day.  I couldn't believe it.

    "You know all of this and still want us to stay?" I asked.

    "Why wouldn't I want you to stay?" he asked.   "You and Mark are none of my business. Your private lives are not my concern. Mark doesn't seem to be upset about it, so I assume that he is a willing participant."

    "I would never do anything to hurt Mark," I said quickly.

    "I know you wouldn't," he replied.   "But I fear that you may not want to stay here when we are finished with this discussion."

    "I knew it," I said.  "You are disgusted by us."

    "No, I am not disgusted by you," he said.   He put his head down and stared at his empty plate.  "I have been battling with my own sexuality for quite some time, Nick."

    Was he saying what I thought he was saying? I couldn't believe it.  Was Pete gay? If he was, then why didn't he want me? I couldn't believe it.

    "What are you saying?" I asked.

    "I turned you down because of our friendship, Nick," he said.  "I don't want to do anything that would hurt our friendship. Saying that makes me feel like a hypocrite, however."

    "What? Why?" I asked, trying hard not to let the hope spring up again.

    "Nick, I think I am in love with your brother," he said, looking down at the table again.

    "Oh my God," I sighed, sinking down in the chair.  He had just told me exactly what I had feared.  The man that I desperately wanted was in love with Mark.  I couldn't believe it.  Any hope that I had ever had of having Pete for myself was crushed now.  I couldn't compete with Mark.  I wouldn't want to compete with Mark.

    "Please, don't hate me, Nick," he said.

    "Hate you?" I whispered.  "How could I hate you for loving Mark?"

    "I just thought . . ."

    "Pete, I know how charming my brother is," I said.  "I know exactly how wonderful it feels to be in his arms. I don't hate you for loving him. It hurts me, but I don't hate you."

    "You're not mad?" he asked.

    "No, I'm not mad," I said.  "I'm hurt. I'm jealous. I'm not mad at you."

    "I want you to know that I do care about you, Nick," he said.

    I looked up at him, and I could see the pain in his face.  I couldn't believe it.  Pete was in love with Mark.

    "Mark never said anything about this," I said.

    "He doesn't know," said Pete, startling me again.

    "What do you mean? I thought . . ."

    "I won't lie to you," he said.   "Mark and I have had sex. I don't want to say anything to him until I am sure about this. Nick, this is all very new to me."

    "Oh my God," I said again.

    "I'm home," called Mark from the living room.

Chapter 11 is on it's way.