Date: Thu, 24 Sep 2009 00:25:50 -0700 (PDT) From: Sean Hardy Subject: Seducing My Son Part Nine .... I kept a brave face in front of Alex, but I was crushed upon discovering that Shawna was home early and wanted our son to come back. There was still so much left between us that we hadn't shared and I didn't want to give him up. I'll be ashamed to admit that this was the first time I wanted to fight for him, not that I hadn't loved him, it was just that before I was too busy living my own life to worry about him. Now it wasn't just what was going on between us, he'd become so close to me that I didn't want to give that up. There was more to our relationship than just sex. He was my best friend and I loved him and never wanted to let him go. Alex was silent on the way back to the cabin and when we arrived he slowly walked off to the bedroom. I waited a little while and called Shawna back. She was happy and told me all about her honeymoon and that great time she'd had. She explained to me how she didn't want to take Alex from me, but that she just missed him so much and wanted to see him. I couldn't fault her for missing Alex, he was an amazing kid. I reluctantly agreed to let him go home early if he wanted to do so. I did however, stress to Shawna that I wanted to spend more time with Alex throughout the year. She seemed a little surprised, but told me that was fine and would work with me on that. After talking to my ex, I went into the cabin and found Alex lying in our bed. He was looking up at the sky through the sun roof that was over the bed. I joined in on the bed and moved close to him. We didn't speak for several minutes and I began to wonder if we were ever going to address the issue hanging over our heads. "Mom really misses me." Alex said finally. "I know that." I replied. "I don't want to go back home yet." "Then don't." "It's different back home Dad, she needs me. She doesn't do well without me." "I need you too Alex." "Not the same thing." "How so?" "You have a life and Mom never really had much else besides me. She doesn't have many friends and always just made it about me." "Well she is married now. She has him." "It's still different." "Alex, if I've made it hard for you to go back, I apologize." "You didn't do anything bad." "I know, but everything we have, it can keep until the next time you visit. I don't want you to feel guilty for going back. You're going to see me a lot more often. I told your mother that I wanted you to spend more time with me." "Really?" "Yeah kid. I've kinda grown attached to you." Alex looked over to me and smiled. I leaned over and pulled him into an embrace and we stayed like that all night. We left the cabin around noon the next day and drove back for home. The ride was mostly uneventful, no rest stops along the way and Alex kept quiet, listening to his iPod while I navigated back to the suburbs. It was decided that Alex would leave at the end of the week. I would take him to the airport and put him on a plane back home. I fought with the decision to let him leave so easily, but felt like I had to be fair about it and do what was in the best interest for Alex. Throughout the week I did everything I could to make up for the fact that he was leaving ahead of schedule. I took him on a shopping spree that would cost me until Christmas, but it was worth it to see the smile on his face. We spent every night together in my bed, not always playing, but sometimes just holding one another. I tried to brace myself for how much I was going to miss this kid. As Friday approached, I thought up any excuse to keep Alex with me, but knew letting him go was for the best. I took Alex to the airport and we sat in the car for some time before ever going in. I wanted to kiss Alex and hold him, but we'd never done anything like that outside of the bedroom and I felt it might be stepping over a line. Alex hugged me before going through the line inside. I told him how much I loved him and how we'd be seeing each other before he knew it. He nodded in reply and I could tell he was holding back tears and trying to be strong, just like his father was. I told him to call me when he arrived and he promised he would. I watched my son as he left the terminal and then I waited until his plane took off, watching him disappear into the sky. I couldn't begin to describe the loss I felt at that moment. I'd left Alex before, but this time was different and my whole body ached for him. Later that night around nine, my cell phone rang. I was lying in bed and nearly fell off trying to reach the phone. It was Alex. He had just gotten back home and wanted to check in. We followed the usual conversation, I asked him about his flight and if his entire luggage arrived with him. After a few minutes of mindless talk, Alex told me that he missed me. I told him the same and leaned over, looking at where he would normally sleep next to me. We ended the phone call a few minutes later and again I felt the pain that I had endured watching him leave earlier that afternoon. I rolled over onto his side of the bed and could still smell him on the pillows. This became a nearly nightly ritual after that. As much as it made me lovesick puppy, I longed for Alex and used anything that smelt of him to comfort me. I started to wonder when in fact I had fallen in love with my son. When did our relationship go from that of father to that of a lover? I had never been in any long term relationship since Shawna and now I knew why, the end result was just too much. It would be nearly a year before Alex would return to me. It was the worst year of my life. .... Yes I know this part was short and depressing, but I needed to set up for future chapters and felt like this needed to be a standalone installment. Rest assured, there is more and it gets better. Stick with me and find out.