Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2003 22:13:41 +0800
From: paul sung <psun@hotmail.com>
Subject: The New Year 5

DISCLAIMER

==========

This is a work of fiction; any resemblance to persons living or dead is
entirely coincidental. The author asserts all legal and moral rights
(copyright (c) 2003 - psun@hotmail.com) to this work and you may not
copy it or transmit it in any way except in its entirety and with this
disclaimer. This story features descriptions of sex between males:
- if such material is prohibited in your jurisdiction, please DO NOT READ
ON,
- if you're under the legal age to read such material, please DO NOT READ
ON,
- if you don't like, or are offended by such material, please DO NOT READ
ON.
And any comments - brickbats or bouquets, send them over to
psun@hotmail.com And if you find that you like what you're reading, visit
my page at http://www.geocities.com/savante_2002

Even as his message played on the phone, I tapped my pen on the surface
of the board. It was impossible to get him out of my thoughts. How had it
happened? When had James suddenly become so important to me? Slowly,
steadily, without leaving a hint or a clue, in the past few months the
sly bastard had somehow crept up on me, becoming as important to me as
one my own immediate family. Maybe even more. For the past year, he had
been the scapegrace of a cousin, perhaps even an occasional burden for me
though I'd die before I let him know that. Selfish, arrogant,
self-absorbed bastard. Sure, he was good-looking - make that incredibly
good-looking - and perhaps I'd liked him more than I'd thought. Although
he had gotten me into trouble more times than I could remember, he also
kept me from being the stick-in-the-mud that I would have inevitably
become without him. James had thrust my first drink of beer at me when I
was 14, had practically drop-kicked me down a bunjee jump in Australia
and at 15, it was the sight of James in his swimtrunks that had brought
about the realization that I might be gay. The sudden surge of
testosterone that had accompanied the sight of James, his perfectly
sculpted, darkly tanned body revealed in his tight black Speedos had
quickly confirmed the fact. But it had never been more than that. Had it?

As his message ended, the blond elf on my desk drew my attention and I
took it off the picture frame. His fair, handsome features had reminded
me of him as did his tall, well-built physique. The fact that James had
given it to me in one of his generous moods made it even more dear to me.
I ran my finger down the slim elf form and wondered when James had
started creeping his way into my life - and my heart.

Wondering what my best friend would make of this, I laughed to myself.
Such melodramatic meanderings certainly weren't his style. Dev Roberts
was the kind of footloose, fancy-free guy who tread lightly in each and
every relationship. Of course, his exotic Indian-Chinese looks and his
innate charm managed to keep him alive after each breakup. Although he
always said that one day I'd be bitten by the bug, he'd certainly find it
amusing that I'd finally fallen this hard. Especially with a reformed
self-proclaimed SOB.

Of course, I would first have to out myself by telling Dev that I got a
hard-on each time a seriously hot hunk with buns walked by. There was a
knock on the door and I called out in reply.

The door opened, it was Grace with a file in hand. Impeccably dressed in
a sleek pink suit and stylish maroon pumps, every hair in place, she
looked like the perfect assistant and I wondered whether everyone saw me
that way too. A Stepford clone. It was a terrifying thought since even I
always wondered whether she ever let her hair down and fouled up.
Impressions were always misleading since I knew Grace had married two
years ago and had a boisterous little girl who spit up every time I
dropped by their home.

For once however, she looked almost nervous, her pretty face tinged with
pink. "Sir, I think this could be yours."

"What is it?" It wasn't often that I saw her like this and I took the
file from her. Earlier that day, I'd jotted down some notes on the yearly
sale that we held in our stores that I'd given Grace to put into file. My
eyes bulged as I stared at the paper in palpable shock. It was something
that I had been unprepared for and something which embarassed me like
hell. "Uhh.. Grace, I can explain."

She looked up at me then and I saw that she was repressing her urge to
laugh. "I am sure you can, sir."

Her calling me sir had always been a point of contention between us and
it still grated on me since I preferred her to call me by my given name
but after three years together, she still persisted. However even our
close working relationship couldn't possibly explain the papers in the
file. Glancing down at it again, I could feel the blood rushing into my
ears. Little red hearts were drawn at the edge of my neatly written notes
with two little Js intertwined inside. "I-I..."

"John."

Turning away from the incriminating evidence, I looked up with some
surprise. "You called me John."

"It's only for this one time, John." Taking the seat in front of me,
Grace smiled and I could see why Kok Hui, her husband, had married her.
She was absolutely lovely - and at the moment terribly amused at the fact
that I'd made a fool of myself. "There's nothing to feel embarassed
about, I know what it's like to be in love."

"Love?" Trying to maintain one's dignity in the face of such sophomoric
sentiment was impossible and I shook my head vehemently. Might as well
have my hair done in frilly pink braids and fall into a disgraceful swoon
over James' awesome pecs. "It's not like that, Grace."

"Do I know her?"

"Her?" For a moment, her words puzzled me until I realized that she
wouldn't know about my penchant for buff, barechested men in tight jeans.
The thought of James Burbridge Sung's tight, denim-covered ass had me hot
in a second and I wondered what Grace would think of her boss nursing a
hard-on in the office. It galled me that I was starting to become as
perverted as him. Smiling foolishly, I nodded. "I should think you do."

"Tell me more."

Damn, I should have guessed she would say that.


Although Grace promised to keep it a secret between us, I didn't think
I'd be able to live down those little hearts. Ever. Each time I thought
of it I secretly cringed inside. At the same time, I blamed James for
turning me into a lovesick fool who doodled hearts on his notebook like
some giggly little schoolgirl with her first crush. Not only did I have
to live with the humiliation, I also had to make up an imaginary
girlfriend to keep my assistant satisfied. So intent was I on creating
the perfect punishment for him that I hardly noticed that my door was
open.

"A package for Mr Sung."

The familiar deep, sexy baritone had me looking up and I felt my jaw fall
to the ground, even as my dick flew up in a salute. It would be hard to
miss six feet of chiseled gorgeousness literally poured into the tight
brown uniform of a UPS man. Carrying a small, neatly tied-up cardboard
box in his lightly-furred, muscular arms, the messenger strode in, his
sexy dark eyes flashing a warm greeting. The extremely short dull brown
shorts he wore hugged him in the back as lovingly as it did the front,
outlining his marble-hard ass and the tempting package in front. Almost
invitingly, the shorts ended at the top of his tanned thighs, revealing
splendidly smooth, athletic looking legs that spoke of years of vigorous
physical exercise. The hard swell of his pecs filled out the tight,
neatly-pressed shirt, his hard nipples forming prominent indents on his
plain shirt.

"James." My voice was raspy as I spoke. It was difficult to speak when
all I could think of was slowly slipping the tiny shorts off. "Where the
hell did you get that?"

"Like it?" Eager to please, James flashed a cocky grin and held the pose
at my door. He looked sizzling hot - and damned if he didn't know it.
"Got it abroad. Thought you'd like it."

Judging by the quick leap of my heart and the way it had started chugging
desperately into palpitations since James walked in, I was sure that I
liked it. Of course, I would have liked to have peeled him out of his
clothes even more. Supressing that thought - and the lascivious image
that came with it, I stood up and waved him to a seat. "Bastard. You
walked through my office dressed like that?"

Every step he took was an eye-popping, jaw-dropping display of the
awesome symmetry of his well-muscled body and I hoped that my drooling
hadn't become too obvious. Dropping the package on my desk, he sprawled
out on the seat vacated by Grace not too long ago. "Hell, yeah."

The notes I'd drawn out lay under the packages and I knew James would
never let me hear the end of it. Carefully edging the doodled notes away
from his eagle-eyes, I tried my best to distract him. "Trying to a create
a riot, Mr Burbridge?"

He threw back his dark head and laughed. "A riot, huh? Well, I did get a
few numbers on the way up. And anyway Grace likes it."

"I'll just bet she does," I replied dryly. After all, who wouldn't like
it? Any dedicated purveyor of male flesh would agree that he looked like
sin on legs. It shocked me to realize that I'd thought of licking his
toes, sucking on his marvellously constructed feet and journeying up his
tight, bulging calves up his well-muscled thighs. "Slut."

The tone of my voice didn't fool James and he only grinned in reply. "You
know you're the only guy for me, sweetheart."

It amazed me how it easy it had become for him to speak of his feelings
for me, the words easily rolling of his tongue while I still choked over
his name. Even bringing up his name with Grace was near impossible since
I didn't know how to tell her. In the office, no one was closer to me
than Grace and yet the idea of telling her tied my tongue up in knots.
Happily married with her husband in picture-perfect suburbia, would she
be able to understand my feelings for a man? Would she be able to take
the idea of James throwing me on my desk, running his hands down my
button-down shirt and feeling up the contours of my torso?

James interrupted my reverie. "No tips, sir?"

His dark eyes flashed an invitation, the slash of his dark brows lifting
up in suggestion and I backed away with a nervous laugh. It was child's
play for a man like him to guess the direction of my thoughts. There was
a hard, pulsing bar of flesh in my pants that screamed a fervent yes but
even I could tell that our moans and groans would alert Grace to the fact
that her boss was busy humping the UPS man. "We're not doing anything
here. Grace is just outside."

"So?" he grinned cockily as he made his way to my side of the desk. "I
bet I could make you forget that."

"James." As he sidled to my side, his large hands coming to rest on my
waist to pull me close, I held him away. "We've been here before."

"And we know what happened then, don't we?" He chuckled softly. Despite
my attempts to stop him, one of his hands crept down to cup my crotch.
"John, you naughty, naughty boy, what have you been hiding from me?"

I choked. "James, please."

"One kiss." Without waiting for my reply, he leaned in and gently pressed
his lips against mine. It wasn't like the night before when we had been
too busy getting naked to worry about finesse and foreplay. It was a
getting-to-know-you kiss, the kiss one had at the end of a first date -
not that I'd ever been on a successful one. All my dates ended with
polite pecks on the cheek since I never had the urge to go further. It
was different this time with this man. I breathed in his scent, the funky
musk of his sweat, the spice of his aftershave and found myself getting
hard. His clever hands found their way to my neck, rubbing the perfect
spot that had ached this morning.

Drawing away with a soft chuckle, he lifted his hands in surrender. "I
brought you lunch."

The kiss might not have been simmering hot but I still found my knees
weak with desire and settled myself back on the chair before I could
embarass myself. Since he'd told me about the course he had been taking,
I'd known his schedule by heart and he didn't have any lectures this
morning. "Where did you buy it?"

"Shucks, honey," James replied playfully. "I made it with my own fair
hands this morning."

"Seriously?" The very idea of James knowing what a ladle was for boggled
the mind - and certainly drew my thoughts away from what we had been
doing earlier. Unwrapping the package, I couldn't hide my pleasure as I
drew out two plastic canisters with fried rice and omelette.

"It might not be all that good." Looking almost anxious, he helped me
unload the box, taking out the spoons and forks. "I've been trying my
hand at cooking. Trying to keep my hands busy and all."

Opening the canister, the delicious scent of freshly fried rice and eggs
filled the room and I found my stomach rumbling in anticipation. Turning
to him, I smiled and flicked imaginary lint off his shoulder. "James, you
continually surprise me."

"Good. Wouldn't want to bore you."

"I don't see that ever happening." I told him. How could anyone possibly
get bored with him? "Look, I don't know what to make of all this. Getting
a job, taking a course, cooking... You're changing so fast, I'm trying to
catch up."

Pausing in his work, he spoke softly. "No tricks this time, John. Nothing
up my sleeve." Making his point, he tried to roll up his sleeve but it
caught at his hard bicep. "Well almost nothing."

I couldn't help smiling. "That comes from going to the gym once too
often."

"You love it." Shrugging it off, James laughed. "But I'm sure you'll love
this trick."

Leaving the canisters, he sidestepped my chair and stood in front of me,
a suggestive look on his handsome face. It made me laugh instead of
pushing him away as I should have. "Not here."

His smile grew wider. "Bet I could change your mind."


Taking note of the fact that he'd left his car parked under the porch, I
figured I'd find him in his room after work. Although he'd been sleeping
in my room for the past few nights, we still maintained separate bedrooms
- wholly at my insistence. The fact that we were sleeping together still
hadn't quite settled in with me and I found it easier to have separate
arrangements despite what James might think. Sure, he never said anything
but I found his uncharacteristic silence on the subject even worse than
if he'd had steamed and fumed about it.

I walked into his room and tried very hard not to wince at the sight that
greeted me. This was the reason why we'd never done it in his room. The
man might have claimed reformation but that didn't mean he'd cleaned up
his whole act. James Burbridge Sung was a slob of master proportions. His
books lay haphazardly all over the place, his bed was unmade and his
obviously used brown uniform hung limply from his lamp. Suppressing the
urge to rearrange the god-awful mess, I stubbornly shut my eyes and made
my way to the bathroom. Answering my call, I heard James yell back from
the bathroom.

As usual, his bathroom door was wide open and I could hear his deep
baritone belting out the latest hit. Sure, the bastard could sing like an
angel but modesty certainly wasn't on his list of accomplishments.
Walking into the bathroom, I was hit by a wall of steam and blithely
wondered how anyone could possibly boil themselves in such heat. Since we
were kids, James had always turned the heat up. The glass door of the
shower had been left open and I had the perfect view of James. He looked
gorgeous. As a testament to his years of college athletics and his
frequent trips to the gym, his broad, strong back rippled with
well-defined muscle and his butt... damn, the bastard had a solid,
marble-hard ass.

Turning the shower off and reaching for the towel, he managed to glance
over at me and flashed me a welcoming smile. "Hey you came back early.
Guess what, Jonathan ca -"

He didn't get a chance to finish as I launched forward and kissed him
full on the lips. It was a sudden impulse and I couldn't decide whether
it was the sight of his perfect ass that had provoked me. Eager to punish
him, my hands reached down and cupped the twin mounds of hard muscle,
marvelling over the silky smooth skin overlying the steel.

"James, I think I -"

The voice behind sounded exactly like my brother and my hands stilled,
frozen on James' superior ass. Almost mechanically, I turned around to
catch my younger brother staring agog at me from the open doorway. For
once, he didn't have a ready quip or joke prepared and Jonathan could
only stare in shock, his dark eyes wide-eyed like saucers. His elder
brother caught in a heated clinch with a hot, naked man. An endless
moment went by - a moment when my hands seemed frozen in place - before
he recovered his wits sufficiently enough to mumble out, "Uhh.. John.. I
think.. I think I better go."

Like him, my wits remained suspended and I couldn't react even when
Jonathan made a hasty about turn and quickly left the scene. All I could
think about was that Jonathan had seen me. With my hands on a man's bare
ass. Fortunately a saner mind prevailed, one more used to such
incidences. Pulling away from me, James slipped out of my embrace and
called out, "Wait, Joe!"

There was no reply and I figured he'd headed for the hills far away. Far
away from his homo brother. "Joe was here."

"Shit." Frustrated, James drew his fingers through his wet, dark curls.
"Fuck. I tried to tell you. He wanted to stay over tonight."

"Oh my God." Keeping my face buried in my hands, I shrugged. It was
impossible to think of at the moment. All I could see was his face with
those big, pitiful eyes. Poor Jonathan looked as stunned as he had almost
fifteen years ago when he'd finally realized that Santa didn't really
exist. "I can't deal with this."

He raised his eyebrow. "I don't think you have much of a choice right
now."


The search was the easy part and I managed to find him in the first place
I looked which was the guest room. Since he used it quite often, he still
stored some of his stuff here. Jonathan was sitting on the bed, his back
turned to me, his broad shoulders heaving uncontrollably and I cringed as
I wondered whether he was crying. The last time I saw him shed a tear was
when he was seven and he'd fallen off his bike. I didn't think I'd be
able to make him smile all that easily again with some candy.

Crossing over to the bed, I lay my hand gently on his shoulder.
"Jonathan."

Although he nodded in acknowledgement, he remained silent and I found
myself getting worried. It was something that I'd never thought I'd have
to deal with. As open and tolerant as I knew him to be, I wondered what
Jonathan would think of me. Although I tried to tell myself that his
opinion wouldn't change anything, it surprised me that his opinion did
matter. Much more than I would have thought. Sure, I might not have liked
him tagging around all the time when he was a kid but damn it, I was his
older brother. It galled me to know that I expected at least some form of
affection and respect from him.

Having nothing to lose, I tried again, "Look, I don't know how to explain
this but..."

It was then that he turned to me and I wondered for a wild moment whether
he would thump me one. Although he had been a lil piker when he was
younger, he had easily caught up with me in terms of height and size.
Added to the muscle bulk he'd gained from playing sports in university, I
knew that I was in for a few bruises if he decided to make the first
swing. As I calculated the moves I'd make to avoid getting a black eye, I
realized that the idiot was laughing.

My eyes narrowed. "Jonathan."

His spiky dark lashes were wet with tears and he let out an
uncontrollable guffaw. "My God, you have sex!"

That certainly wasn't what I expected him to say. Nor did I expect him to
suddenly go into peals of raucuous laughter. For a moment, I wondered
whether I should contact the nearest mental hospital. In our family, he
was certainly known for the occasional oft-kilter behaviour but this
certainly topped them all.

"My God, I love this." Tears streamed down his tanned face.

Patiently I let him carry on laughing for a few moments before I decided
to put a stop to it. "Stop laughing, damn it!" I ordered in my sternest
elder-brother voice.

"I'm trying. I"m sorry, bro but I can't," he protested with another
laugh. "You're gay!"

Taking a seat on the bed, I waited. "Yeah, and if you'd only stop
laughing, I'd be able to explain.."

His laughter subsided somewhat but he waved me off. "What is there to
explain? You're not the perfect clone I'd thought. Now that is such a
relief."

As much as Jonathan loved surprising us with his antics, that would be
about the last thing I'd expected him to say. My brother thought of my
homosexuality as a relief? Years ago when I'd been trying to figure out
my attraction to men, I read dozens of coming-out stories, practically
researched the genre but I hadn't come across such a reaction before.
"What?"

Wiping his damp eyes with his sleeve - a habit I never could break him
of, Jonathan looked up at me with the beginnings of a smile. "You're not
perfect." he repeated softly.

"Of course I'm not." I replied patiently. It reminded me of what I'd
thought of my assistant Grace and I shuddered. Perfect. What exactly does
that entail? That I never faltered? That I never spent the night before a
big decision biting my nails and tossing about on the bed in worry? "I am
not some Stepford Brother, Joe."

"Thank God," he exclaimed with some relief. "You don't know how hard it
is to live under your shadow."

"There is no shadow." I insisted.

Deciding not to make a comment, he only smiled. "I never even knew you
had sexual urges. Good to know you're still human."

Now I was a perfect non-human without sexual urges? Well, I'd certainly
managed to shock him with that display earlier. "Now you are starting to
sound like James."

"He'd certainly know," he replied, eyeing me slyly.

"Yes, he would," I told him coolly. Why bother denying it? The
embarassing position he'd caught the both of us in certainly couldn't be
miscontrued in any other manner. However it still surprised me that
Jonathan seemed to be taking something like this in his stride when I'd
expected a more dramatic reaction than the earlier maniacal fits of
laughter. Although it certainly suited me better than a thumping
fistfight or even worse, endless tears of recrimination, I had to admit
that his non-reaction came as quite an anticlimax. This was it?

It my first coming-out of sorts since I'd never actually told anyone.
James didn't really count after all since the snoop managed to discover
it all by himself. Eager to know more, I asked him again. "It doesn't
bother you at all? I mean, he and I... James and I.. we.."

"Yeah, we?" Jonathan reemphasized the words with a suggestive eyebrow.
"John and James."

I could see that this was going to be the fodder for many of his future
jokes but I managed to ignore the fact for now. "You are not the least
bit freaked out.."

"What, you think I'm so homophobic red-neck?" he said, insulted.

"You surprise me sometimes, Joe," I admitted.

"Good." Shrugging his broad shoulders easily, he turned to me with a
grin. "Although it can't be as big as the bomb you just dropped on me."

"I honestly thought you'd freak out."

"No, it's cool." Turning his head to the side, he gazed at me
thoughtfully. "I did however wonder why you remained single for so long.
Especially with Grandpa and Mom pushing you."

"Ah, the six million dollar question." For the past few years, they had
all been passing comments on my unmarried state and more than a few had
arranged the occasional blind dates that I'd fortunately survived intact.
None of them had ever made the suggestion that I was gay however. "Guess
they'll have to look elsewhere now."

He took a deep breath and spoke again. "So, you and James?"

It was the inevitable question and I steeled myself. "Yeah."

Shifting about the bed, even Jonathan looked uncomfortable with the
subject. "Isn't it... I mean, I know he isn't technically related but.."

"That has occurred to me.. but I don't think I've ever looked at him as
my cousin." It was essentially true. Even when we were kids, he was
always just James. I'd never looked at him as I did one of my brothers or
my other male cousins.

"How about Dev then?"

"Dev?" It never occurred to me that my best friend would be brought into
the equation. Although there had been times when i'd stolen an admiring
peek or two at my handsome best friend, I never ever thought about Dev -
well, not consciously anyway - in that way. Sure, I admired him in an
aesthetic manner but never in a sexual way. "What about him?"

"He's quite a guy too. Did you ever.."

"What? Never!" I flat-out refused the notion. Dev? Although he was
certainly buff, it would be like lusting after my own brother.

"Hey, how should I know? You're the one who's shagging James." My
vehement reaction had Jonathan chuckling. "Although I admit I do
understand the attraction. I mean, James is a good-looking guy. But
exactly how do you guys... uhh,, what do you do.."

His probing questions had me raising a dark brow. "I am not providing
tips, Joe."

The look on my face was enough to tickle his ready sense of humour and he
laughed. "Come on, who knows, I might want to experiment one day. I might
get interested in some great-looking hunk... kinda like James. James is
one hot guy. Big pecs. Great abs. Incredible bod."

"Joe." I said in a warning tone.

Turning to me with an impish look, he grinned, his dark eyes flashing
with that familiar glint. "How about me? You think I'm cute? Not as cute
as your James, of course but I do my best."

"Shut up, asshole. I am not going to pander to your ego." That was a fact
that he didn't need to confirm since he already knew that he looked
great. James might be the undeniable hunk of the family but Jonathan was
certainly fast catching up. Aiming a mock punch at him, I gave him a
light shove. "And you're trying to annoy me but it's not going to work."

"Come on, gimme a break. It's not often that I get to find some dirt on
you." He mused silently for a moment. "Actually never."

What he'd said alerted me to something and I quickly told him. "You can't
tell anyone. Not even Mum and Dad."

"They don't know?" His question had me nodding in reply and for a moment,
he looked almost surprised. "They don't know and you don't intend to tell
them? Ever?"

My face must have been covered with guilt. "Look, I.. I don't know." In
one of our conversations, James had tried to broach the topic but I'd
quickly changed it. Although he might think I'd never thought about it,
the fact was it haunted me almost day and night at times. I knew that I
had to tell them, sooner or later but right now, I just couldn't find the
words.

He opened his mouth as if to say something but seemed to change his mind
and remained silent instead.

The disapproval in his face was evident but I couldn't do it. The thought
of confronting both my parents - and my grandfather - with such shocking
news was... the stuff of nightmares for me. Letting out a sigh, I
admitted to him. "I want to tell them, Joe, even tell grandpa but .."

"You've got nothing to worry about, big brother." He laid a hand gently
on my shoulder. "You're their darling, they'll love you no matter what."

Reaching over to squeeze his hand, I smiled gratefully. "Slightly
tarnished now, I'm afraid."

"Hey, don't say that about my brother!" he protested loudly. Pulling his
hand away, he swatted me lightly on my head. "He's the best guy I know,
smart, dependable, responsible... "

Aiming a cool look at him, I said dryly. "I am not a fucking toaster."

"A great brother too." He grinned, warming to the theme. "In fact, he's
the most generous brother that I .."

The buttering up was becoming way too obvious and I smiled. "You're still
not getting that raise in your allowance. You already have too much as it
is."

His dark eyes narrowed as he shot a look at me and he continued griping.
"Though he can be quite an ass sometimes."

Since he'd been back for the holidays, I'd been doling out his allowance
every month in place of my parents. "Joe, if you tell me you've finished
your allowance, I'm gonna give you a spanking," I warned him. "And that's
not in a kinky faggotty fashion."

He raised his dark brows - in much the same way as I did sometimes. "Was
that your idea of a joke, big brother?"

"Yes."

"It sucks," he pointed out. We were silent for a moment before he
continued, "So it's up to me to continue the family line?"

That hadn't occurred to me before and I smiled. The thought of the
carefree young man settled down and loaded with the responsibilities of
family amused me. "Looks that way, Joe."

"Damn. Knew you'd find a way to avoid your solemn duty."

I gave him a hard shove and knew that it was going to be all right.