TWT9 - LUIS LOPEZ PILAR

My block is hard. Your neighbors don’t really speak. Smiling at someone probably means that you plan on robbing them later on. My block is tough. There’s nothing soft here…not even the asses of the girls who get their butts injected with concrete. Everything is tough. Everything is hard. These urban streets are made of cement, blood and tears. I know that because my block is so hard, that I have to be harder.

I’m pacing around my house. Tonio and the Bakersfield boys are in my living room.

“You guys don’t need to fucking be here. Ty has people watching the fucking block,” I explain.

“He’s not going to be watching this place,” Tonio replies.

Tonio might be right. He might be wrong. It’s been a week since Blackey was killed. Blackey was supposed to kill Ty. He was supposed to take him out at the party. That didn’t end up happening. The Bakersfield boys were panicking. I could tell. I look at Tonio. He’s sweating. He never sweats. Right next to him is Rodrick and Blackey’s brother Highlight.

Highlight has a gun in his hand.

“Man I think we should go take that dude out right now. We should just run up on him.”

“He’s on high security,” I respond, shaking my head, “That’s dumb. We need to think of something else. Instead of just killing him.”

“Do you want him dead?” Rodrick asks.

I give Rodrick a hard look, “What kind of question is that?”

Tonio defends Rodrick, “The guys have been wondering that maybe you actually didn’t want Ty dead. He’s your brother after all.”

After what Ty did with my son in the past. After what Ty did to Meech. I wanted him dead.

“He hurt someone. He hurt someone close to me,” I explain, “That’s not my brother. That’s my enemy. I’m pretending to be down with him but it’s time we take him out. I mean that.”

I never meant it so much after hearing what Ty did to Meech. I was going to kill Ty for that. It would be painful death. He would suffer.

“I want to believe you. It’s just that…” Tonio hesitates.

The hesitation. The doubt. It was all suspicious. Were these guys starting to doubt me.

“What happened to Blackey?” Rodrick finishes Tonio’s accusation.

“There’s a white boy that Ty’s been hanging out with. Sterling. I think that is what his name is. The guy is suspicious of me.”

“What is he some kind of cop?”

That’s what I thought too. Looking back at the party the guy Sterling did look like some Action movie cop or something. Supposedly he was dating the Buchanan girl that left for college or something. The fact that the Buchanan girl was dead but he was still around was something that I just didn’t understand. Sterling was getting dangerous.

“No. He’s supposedly just a regular dude. He thinks I had something to do with the Buchanans dying.”

“Did you?” Tonio asks.

“No. FUCK No. I would never kill some innocent family, Tonio. You know me better than that.”

Tonio nods his head at that moment, “You’re right. I’m tripping. Things are just getting bad out here man. Really bad. Word around the street is Ty has it out for all of us.”

“No doubt,” Highlight says, “He’s going to want to retaliate after Blackey. He has a lot of guys following him. I mean a bunch of people even in our hood are loyal to Ty now man.”

“Well you guys have one thing that he will never have.”

“What’s that?”

“My loyalty,” I respond.

I could never be loyal to scum like Ty. He was literally the scum of the earth. I don’t know how many times I have to explain to Tonio and the others that I didn’t consider Ty my brother. We were related sure, but this was different. Family didn’t treat family the way that Ty treated me. The past issues with my son were one thing and now that I found out that he raped Meech…things were bad. And I’d make sure they’d get worse.

“If he turns on you we won’t have that going for us anymore,” Tonio says.

“He won’t turn on me.”

“How do you know?”

“Ty blames himself for me going to jail. He is going to try to make it up. Right now we need a plan. We need a way to get back at him. We need his weakness.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out.”

The look on the Bakersfield Boys’ faces are clear. They are getting impatient. They are scared to cross my brother. That much is clear. Tonio put his trust in me and I was going to make sure that I dealt with this accordingly.

Tonio not trusting me becomes clear when he shakes his head and says, “There is one other option. Kenyatta Buchanan. She wants to work with us. She says the Mexicans have all these guns out on the Westside. Military style guns. She’s saying she knows where they keep them.”

“And they’ll just give up the guns?” I ask.

Tonio shakes his head, “No. We steal them. We can go to war with Ty. No more hiding.”

It was a bad idea. I didn’t want to mess with the Mexicans. They were tough. They had been staying out of the fight between the Bakerfield Boys and Ty. It wasn’t a good idea to steal from them.

“No. I don’t trust Kenyatta. She’s messy. That girl has a reputation. She needs to stay out of men’s business.”

“She wants Ty gone just as bad as us,” Tonio argues.

“I said NO,” I respond a little louder and a little more aggressively.

I wonder why the fuck Tonio is arguing for Kenyatta anyway. Why the fuck was Kenyatta getting involved with this kind of stuff. It was all just suspicious. I am about to really question Tonio but I hear a knock on the door at that moment. The knock on the door is followed by someone screaming my name.

“Lopez! Lopez you home? It’s Meech!”

The Bakersfield boys look at me a little confused as to why Meech was knocking on my door.

“Kenyatta’s little brother Meech?” Tonio asks me.

“None of your business,” I respond, “You guys take off. Go out the back. Get out of here. I’m going to figure out our next move against Ty.”

Tonio and the others seem reluctant but they listen to me. I’m still in charge of this little group. I don’t like the fact that they have been talking to Kenyatta Buchanan behind my back about anything. She’d been hanging around with the Bakersfield gang for a while. She’s been plotting. Ty caught onto it. She’s the reason that her family was dead.

But what exactly was Kenyatta’s endgame?

What did she want?

I head to the door at that moment. I think about answering it but before I do I take off my shirt, look in the mirror and do about three pushups. I feel corny. I’ve never acted like this for any girl but the fact that it’s Meech gets my blood going. I open the door and see him standing there. He looks so perfect. He has that little baby face of his with those big eyes. He’s so innocent looking and sexy at the same time.

I can’t help but to lick my lips when I see him standing there.

“Yo…” I state.

“Hey,” he responds with a warm smile, “Sorry to show up out of nowhere. I know things have been crazy. I just needed someone to talk to.”

I step aside and allow him to come in. As he walks into my house, I can’t help but to stare at his butt. I’d been doing research on HIV and all those other things. The more I thought about it the more it scared me. At the same time, I had a connection with Meech that I’d never felt with anyone else. As I sit there looking at him I’m wondering if that connection I had could surpass even the idea of Meech being sick. I wanted this boy. I wanted him more than I wanted anyone else.

He walks in. He leans up against a wall.

“You know you can talk to me about anything right?” I ask him.

He smiles, “Someone tried to kill Ty.”

I nod.

“I know. It was me.”

I’m not trying to hide it. I’m not trying to back down about it. I wanted Meech to know that I wasn’t going to let Ty get away with the shit that he’d been getting away with. I wanted him to know that I had his back. Only in Chiraq does someone smile about the fact that they just found out someone else just attempted to kill his brother. Meech’s smile is distinct. It’s clear.

“Why?”

“Because I found out what he did to you,” I respond clear as day, “And I’m not going to deal with it.”

I’m clear. I’m precise. Meech takes a step closer to me. He takes another step closer to me.

“Why?”

I don’t get what he means at first. I just explained it to him. He seems to want me to go deeper though. It isn’t until he’s just a few inches away from my face that I think of a way to respond. I’m hypnotized by Meech. I’m hypnotized by his smell. I’m hypnotized by the way he seems to turn me on without even really trying.

“You’re special to me,” I tell him.

“You probably say that to a lot of people,” he responds.

He gives me a teasing smile. He tries to walk away from me. I don’t let him. I pin him up against the wall. I can feel his breath against my face. His lips are sparkling. Right now at this moment I don’t think about HIV or anything like that. I kiss him. I kiss him hard and deep. It’s a wet kiss. It’s deep and passionate. I’m straddling him up against that wall. I’m using my legs to wrap him up. My tongue slides deep into his mouth. He’s panting slow and soft. Slow and steady. I inhale his breath over and over. I let it all in.

My dick is swelling up against his inner thigh. Meech looks down. He notices.

“What’s so special about me?” He asks me.

“You think I’m kicking game to you?”

“I know you are. My sister told me about you. Kenyatta told me you used to cheat on her. She told me you were a player.”

Kenyatta had a big fucking mouth. I figured she would bash me after the past we had together. I just hoped that she wouldn’t bash me to Meech. Immediately I regret treating Kenyatta the way I used to treat her. I guess Karma is a bitch. I figured I could get away with it in the past but now it was getting back to someone who I actually cared about.

“You’re different.”

“No. I’m not,” he responds.

I put my hand on Meech’s face. I’m rubbing his cheeks. It’s impossible to be around him without getting hard for some reason. I’ve never had a boy or girl have this reaction on me. Meech was something different. There was a sexiness about him that is taking my breath away.

“This place is dangerous. This place is dark. There’s an innocence in your eyes though. Everyone is so tough out here. Everything is so hard. Just like concrete. But when I look at you---man, when I look at you I don’t see concrete. I see something beautiful. Some tender flower or something crazy like that. I probably sound corny. I know. I accept that. But when I look at you I see a rose in concrete.”

Meech seems confused.

“What if I’m not as good as you think I am.”

“That’s impossible,” I tell him.

I smile. I mean it. He’s perfect to me in every way. I think he knows I’m telling the truth too because he kisses me as well. He kisses me hard.

I dig in my pocket, “I went out…and got this.”

I’m holding up a condom.

“You still want to have sex with me even though I told you I was positive?” he asks me confused.

“No. I don’t.”

He pauses, “Oh…”

He has a disappointed look on his face. It’s the cutest thing I’d ever seen before. I watch as he just seems a little confused on why I pulled out the condom in the first place.

I start taking his pants off, “I want to make love to you.”
I’m kissing Meech sloppily at that moment. My mouth is slopping down on him. I’m grabbing him and pulling him close. We are kissing so hard. Before I know it both of our clothes are in a pile on the ground. I lift Meech up and take him to the dining room table. I pull at the table cloth breaking dishes when I pull it. I clear the entire dining room table and lay him on the table. I don’t care about the mess I was making. I’ve waited so long for this.

“Tear this ass apart…” he says lifting his legs up.

It’s so sexy how much he wants me. I feel my tongue entering his ass. As he moans I jerk him off and eat him out on the dining room table as though he’s my meal. His cheeks spread around my face, engulfing me in a seductive heat. I lick in every way possible only coming back up for air before heading backing down. All the while I’m jerking his dick with my right hand and scaling the sides of his thighs with my left. He tastes so good. This is beyond worth it.

I eat Meech until he’s begging for it.

“I can’t take it anymore,” Meech is telling me, “I need you in me. I need you in me right now.”

As he’s begging I pull back. I watch him see me stroke my big swollen dick with my hands. I slap my dick up against my stomach. Every moment that I’m not fucking him is a moment that Meech seems to be going crazy. I love the desire in his eyes. I reach for the condom at that moment.

I put the condom on my dick. His feet are resting on my chest. He’s lying on his back. His butt is right off the side of the dining room table. As soon as I get the condom on I manage to get in him. He’s so tight but he’s wet because of how much I’ve moistened him. I can feel how his butthole clenches at my dick. I go deep, feeling his resistance but pushing past it. The walls of my apartment seem to close in just like the walls of his asshole. It seems like we are becoming one. The only thing separating us right now is this rubber.

I know I should get lube but it feels too good to pull out.

“Damn…it’s the perfect fit,” I tell him, “My ghetto Cinderella.”

He laughs for a few seconds but when I push in his laughs are replaces by a fierce groan. There is nothing to grab on the table so he just scratches up my wooden dining room table. His fingernails cut into the wood as I go all the way into him. I don’t mind. It turns me on actually watching him struggle to find the balance between pleasure and pain. After a few minutes he’s enjoying it completely. He’s begging me to go deeper.

“Fuck me daddy. Yeah. Fuck me. God it feels so good. Give me that big dick. Yeah. I love it…”

I can’t take him talking to me like that. It’s such a turn on. I’m pounding his asshole like it did something to me. My dick comes all the way out and goes back in. I close my eyes just so that I am not distracted by the feeling. It’s everything that I think it would have been. The slapping, the moans and the pants become like a musical chorus.

“You’re so tight.”

We fuck for so long that I fight back nut after nut. I want to make this last forever. It gets harder though because he feels so good. My dick is so hard that and so ready to explode that my toes are curling. Soon I know I can’t take it anymore.

He can see it on my face. He looks over at me and he starts jerking his dick faster and faster, “Cum with me. Cum with me baby.”

I love the sound of Meech calling me baby.

Soon he is busting a nut all over his chest. I am about to pull out but it feels too good to pull out. I have a condom anyway so I stroke harder. I stroke deeper. I stroke faster. I stroke Meech until I give way feeling my body orgasm.

I’m still in him when I collapse on top of his body.

“Holy fuck,” I say.

“That was amazing,” he responds.

We are both thinking the same thing. I don’t want to pull out of him. My dick is still hard. His ass is still wet. So instead of pulling out of him I just remain inside of him, but lean over him on the table and kiss him several times. Our tongues wrap around each other for a few minutes. I lay on his chest and he plays with my hair for a few seconds.

“What’s this mean?” he asks me.

“It means we are compatible,” he responds, “Honestly I don’t want to gas your head up but that was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.”

He laughs, “Go again?”

I’m stroking before he even finishes the question. My dick is sliding in and out of him, but as I do it I realize that my dick is a lot wetter than it was before. I think he notices it as well. His eyes look over at me at that moment and seem a little concerned.

“Fuck,” I say.

“What?” he asks me.

I reach down and pull my dick out. My dick is covered in my nut. Meech puts his hand down and feels his asshole. His hand is moist with my man juice.

“The condom broke,” I realize, “Fuck…”

All of a sudden the passion is beginning to be overshadowed by fears of what this actually meant. I sit down in one of the chairs and just stare at the nut for a few seconds. Meech sits up at that moment and looks over at the condom. It is completely broken.

“Oh my god. I’m sorry…” he says.

“It’s not your fault,” I respond, “I should have gotten lube. I was just kind of… I don’t know. I was getting carried away in there.”

I had to admit it felt so good. Being in Meech felt perfect. I look over at Meech at that moment though. A part of me is scared but the moment I look at Meech is the moment that I realize that I’m more concerned with how Meech feels in this moment then how I actually feel. Why the fuck am I putting his emotions ahead of mine at that moment. I get up at that moment and make my way to him. I rub his face and notice that he has a sad looking expression on.

“Sorry,” he says again.

“Why do you keep saying that?” I ask him, “Listen. You know what this mean?”

“What?”

“Well. I’ll get tested. That’s what that means. Listen things happen. I don’t regret it. I should have probably been more careful on my end. But you know what else this means?”

“What?”

“It means we should be official,” I explain to him.

He looks at me as though confused. He doesn’t expect me to say it. I don’t expect me to say it. It’s the first time we had sex and immediately I was talking about us being official. I had girls who had done that to me a million times and after a while I finally gave in. I was never the one to initiate something like this though. I was the player. I was usually the one who got people chasing after me.

All of a sudden it does feel like Karma especially when Meech shakes his head.

“Don’t you think it’s too soon?” Meech asks.

I feel stupid sitting there.

“I feel something for you. You can’t tell me you don’t feel it too.”

“I told you I was HIV. The condom broke. Shouldn’t you be worried about your health instead of a relationship?” he asks me.

“That’s the thing. I should be. But I’m not. Meech I don’t want to take what just happened back…even if that does mean I’m positive,” I respond, “I know that shit sounds crazy as fuck, but sometimes when you really want to be with someone you do crazy things. I really want to be with you. You are everything I want to be with. Come here. Let me show you.”
My dick is hard again. I’m stupid. I know I’m stupid but I’m willing to fuck Meech right here and right now…without a condom. I want to show him that I don’t regret what I did. I reach for Meech. I grab him. I pull him close.

Meech actually combats me though. He PUSHES me away as hard as he can.

“I’m not who you think I am,” Meech responds.

“You’re exactly who I think you are…”

Meech’s phone starts ringing, “It’s Yusef. I have to go. I was supposed to meet him.”

“Meech. Are you fucking serious?” I ask him at that moment, “I’m telling you that I want to be with you and you’re telling me that your dumbass cousin needs you. I NEED you.”

Meech stares at me, “I’m not HIV positive.”

“What?”

Meech hesitates. It looks like he’s letting a lot off his chest. He repeats himself. He’s slower this time. This time he seems clearer, “I lied to you.”

I am shocked. I sit down in the chair. Meech damn near took my breath away with this one. I don’t get it. I don’t get why Meech would do something like that.

“Why?”

“Kenyatta told me that I should do it,” he tells me, “It wasn’t even my plan. I didn’t think what you and I had was real. She told me Ty killed my family. So I was planning on using you. I was planning on using you to kill your brother.”

I’m shocked. I don’t think I ever experienced heartbreak until this moment. It is a physical pain actually. My chest hurts. It feels like it’s caving in or something. The pressure on my chest is becoming too much to actually handle. I gasp for air. I struggle and pant. I can’t believe I trusted Meech. I can’t believe I was actually falling in love with Meech. The fact that he would use me and play me like this was horrible.

“Was any of it real?” I start asking but stop myself, when I realize I’m getting emotional, “Matter of fact. I don’t even care. Get the fuck out of my house.”

“Lopez it was real. I swear it was real.”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” I scream at him, “Before I beat your fucking ass.”

I’m threatening Meech and I mean it. I have my hand balled and I plan on swinging on him any minute if he just didn’t walk out of my door. Meech starts crying. He looks upset. A part of me wants to care that he’s upset like that but I’m done putting Meech first. If I had put myself first, I could have been able to tell that he was using me.

~

As soon as Meech leaves I head over to Kenyatta. At first I don’t know where she is. I know she hasn’t been at the Buchanan’s house. Luckily however I know her other hang out spot from years ago. She hangs out a lot with Nene who is Yusef’s baby’s mother. I head to that side of town and start knocking on the door. I’m banging so hard that I’m putting dents in the goddam door.

Nene comes out.

“What the hell? Why the hell are you banging on my door like that?” Nene asks.

“Where is she? Where is Kenyatta!”

“Who do you think you’re talking to?”

“I’m talking to you BITCH! Where the fuck is KENYATTA!”

I’ve never been so upset in my life. I’ve never been so mad. Nene paces back and forth. She isn’t used to people talking to her like that.

“I’ll get Yusef to beat your ass if you talk to me like that.”

“Bitch shut the fuck up. Yusef is gay. Dumbass. He doesn’t care about you,” I respond.

I don’t know why I out Yusef like that just now. I’m beyond mad. I push past Nene though as she stands there in shock. She doesn’t know what to say. It’s clear that she’s pissed and it’s clear that she had no idea the father of her baby was actually gay. I walk in Nene’s house and find Kenyatta. She’s doing some lines of cocaine in the living room. She sees me walking in and her eyes just get wide. The bitch knows she’s been caught in some shit.

I sit on the couch. My eyes stare at her intensely. I’m close enough to her that Kenyatta can’t run from me.

“You been busy huh?” I ask her.

She stares at me, “Lopez. You’re looking good.”

“Bitch shut the fuck up. You trying to get guns for the Bakersfield gang to take out Ty. You made your brother lie to me so that I can kill Ty.”

“Ty needs to die.”

“I called you when I was in jail didn’t I? I told you that I would handle Ty. Didn’t I? I got the Bakersfield gang to follow me from jail. I told you I would handle him.”

Kenyatta looks at me hard.

“You weren’t working fast enough.”

“So you get your brother to USE me?” I ask.

“I didn’t know you were gay. When I found out you and my brother had something going on I did what I had to do. Ty has to die. Wow. Your feelings hurt? Get over it. Ty has to die.”

“I cared about your brother. That is low…Kenyatta…even for you.”

I want to tell Kenyatta I was in love with her brother. It wouldn’t make a difference though. There is so much hate in Kenyatta’s eyes. She hates Ty with a passion.

“Sorry if I don’t feel bad. Have you forgotten what Ty did to my family? Have you forgotten what Ty did to our son?”

Our son.

The thought of my son enters my head at that moment. That’s how all of this started between Ty and I. That’s how it all started between Kenyatta and Ty. All these years had passed and I rarely talked about my son. I rarely talked about why Kenyatta and I hated Ty for all these years.

Kenyatta got pregnant when we dated years back. She didn’t want to take care of the baby. She hid the pregnancy from her family and gave the baby up for adoption. I had to grow up watching my son knowing that the boy at the end of the block adopted by this random family was actually my son. All the while I looked out for him. That was until Ty started hanging around the kid. Ty took a lot of these kids. He raised them in the ways of the streets. He gave these kids guns. He sent them to war. My son was only 8 years old when he was gunned down by one of Ty’s enemies because Ty sent him off to war.

I took revenge on my son, killing the guy who shot my son. I should have killed one more person that day. I should have killed Ty.

Kenyatta never forgave me. She always held it against me. Even when I promised I’ll take away Ty’s power. Even when I promised I’ll run him out of the state that wasn’t enough for her. Kenyatta wanted Ty dead for putting a gun in our son’s hand. That’s why she started hanging with the Bakersfield boys. Ty had no idea that was my son. He had no idea it was Kenyatta’s son. To Ty it was just a random boy that died doing his work. When he found out Kenyatta was hanging with the Bakersfield boys he didn’t know why. She hung with them because she wanted revenge. She wanted to convince them to go to all out war against Ty. Kenyatta didn’t just want Ty out of Chiraq. She wanted him killed…brutally.

“I’ll take power away from Ty. I told you years ago and I’ll tell you that again,” I tell Kenyatta.

Ty was bad enough without her making Meech lie about the rape. Ty wasn’t a good person. Meech’s betrayal just changed the way I felt about him. I already planned on taking Ty down and that didn’t change. The rape was an unnecessary lie by Kenyatta. It was just another desperate attempt by her to speed up her revenge. The problem with being desperate is that you made mistakes.

“That’s not enough,” Kenyatta responds, “Because of Ty my son is dead. Because of Ty my family is dead.”

“If you were smart your family would still be alive. He killed them because you were hanging with his enemies feeding them info on him.”

“I was doing what you should have done!”

“Listen. I’m not arguing with you. I told you. Stay out of this Kenyatta. I’ll handle Ty in my own way on my own time. He’ll pay for what he did but I’m going to be smart about it. Not drag innocent people in the middle of this like you clearly keep doing with your own family. This is your last warning.”

Kenyatta’s eyes are full of hate.

“And if I don’t?” she asks me.

I don’t answer Kenyatta. We weren’t on the same team with this. We both wanted Ty gone but she’d go to any lengths to get it done. Her family was dead because of her and now she was using her brother as a pawn.

It was clear now that she was going to be a problem. She was going to be a big problem…

To read the next chapter in advance go to www.crushedcrown.com