Chapter 11

 

 

 

 

"There's too many of them."

 

 

 

We're next to each other, crouched out under a desk. When I look to the right I can see his face. He's still the most handsome guy in the world. He looks over at me and pats me a little bit on my shoulder.

 

He hits me a little bit, giving me a killer smile.

 

 

 

"Get your ass up, we're going outside," he said picking up a sniper, "I'm never going to leave you behind. Who else is going to keep me up late at night pissed?"

 

 

 

 

"I do that to you?" I ask with a smile, "I didn't know you cared."

 

 

 

 

I firmly grasped the gun, it was heavier than I expected. I made to get extra ammo as he jumps out. I hear firing. My heart is racing. I know it's him. He is beating back the enemies firing his bullets like a madman. I think seeing Joseph Varney so confident threw our enemies off guard.

 

 

 

When I see what is happenining I reach down and cock my gun. He walked towards me and pulled me closer to the targets. I pulled the trigger abruptly and hurt my wrist. I put the gun in my other hand and shook the wrist that I used. I tried again and again shooting at the targets who are retreating from Joseph Varney who is clearly on the offensive.

 

 

"Don't use one hand. Don't break your fuckin wrist."

 

 

 

 

I push and aimed directly at the middle. I notice a few of the enemies are down. They've backed up into the staircase and luckily Joseph Varney was still going. I look over and him and smiled. He was amazing. Sexy almost. He turns to me for a second seeing me hesitating and pulls me up once again.

 

 

"You going to join the fight or not?" he asks.

 

 

I aimed and pulled the trigger lightly this time with both hands. This time I hit my target. He nods approvingly. That's when he reaches over and pulls out a grenade.

 

 

 

 

"Watch out, she's got some kick on her, " he warned. I watch as he grips my ahnd and lets loose the round ball. I feel a clicking as it hits the ground .

 

 

The shattering shakes the ground. Things fall on me at that moment but not one of them hits me. It's as though Joseph Varney is some sort of guardian angel. When I look up his face is scratched and brutal but he was strong enough to clean up some dust on my face and look down at me. We're close. Our bodies intertwined thrust in the midst of war yet somehow we are able to find some sort of comfort.

 

 

"Am I alive..."

 

 

 

"Yeah...yeah we are..."

 

 

 

Just at that moment I hear more footsteps. My heart races. There was no way we would be able to survive another wave. Not now. No way. But then I look over at Jacob Varney. I remember his promise. I remember that he wanted to talk to me but I would have to survive this in order to make that happen. So I push at Varney.

 

 

Together, arm in arm, we help each other up. He is having trouble standing. He doesn't say why but I notice it. A huge gash is on his leg and it's pouring blood.

 

 

 

 

"Let me look at that," I start.

 

 

 

"I'm fine..."

 

 

 

He shakes it off and gives me another smile. I look at him. I'm ready to die at this moment. We can hear the sounds of people coming. The stairs are almost vibrating. It has to be a lot of people. A whole lot of people. He looks at me. I look at him. In that moment I don't think a lot of things matter.

 

 

In that moment we are standing there looking at each other and it really just seems like if the world ends in this moment it will be OK. I don't notice I'm holding his hand until he releases my fingers and pulls them up to his face. He wipes the sweat up from his face.

 

 

 

"This is it," he says.

 

 

 

"Yeah."

 

 

 

"Listen..." he tells me, "It was always you..."

 

 

"Wh----"

 

 

 

I don't get the words out. At that moment he kisses me. His mouth circulates me. His lips are a soft and delicate thing, hitting my mouth and sucking me in. His hands circle around my back. I feel the hand embrace me moving up from the sides of my back all the way to my neck. Our tongues swirl into one another. The taste is a bit sour and we smell like the worst of things but none of that matters in that moment. Even the darkest time of my life, he kisses me and there is hope there. There is love there.

 

 

We lose ourselves in the moment. So much so that even when our enemies come to our floor with their guns ready to shoot us and kill us, we are still wrapped up in each other's arms. We've forgotten the war I think.

 

 

In that moment we forget the war and we find something else.

 

 

 

We find love. An eternal love. In each other. My eyes clothes. Tears rolling down my cheek when I know my enemies are all around us ready to shoot us down. Ready to kill us. I close mey eyes and lean into his kiss. I'd rather die in his arms than fight. I was tired of fighting. I wanted to feel love in the end. Isn't that the only thing that matters?

 

 

 

"Baby..."

 

 

 

It's Joseph Varney who calls me that. Hearing him say it is almost like hearing some lullaby that is putting you to sleep. It's so comforting that I almost think i'm dead. In that moment I believe there is no way I could be so comfortable and still be alive. Him touching me in the way that he is touching me feels as though everything is right in the wrold.

 

 

 

"Yes."

 

 

 

"Open your eyes."

 

 

 

I'm afraid to. If it was anyone else but Joseph Varney telling me to do it, I probably wouldn't have. But in that moment it's necessary. In that moment we both turn and realize we aren't actually surrounded by enemies.

 

 

We're surrounded by friends.

 

 

"There you guys are, " Tanaka states...took forever...

 

 

 

It was the other Rainbow soldiers. They aren't alone. The Agenda was here and so were the cameras. They had turned to us. It looked like Io Castle was with the entourage and the Agenda had taken full control of the building.

 

 

A camera is in our face.

 

 

 

"We got the whole kiss---make a comment," Lisa states out of no where, "Go ahead! We're live. Lovers! Make a comment."

 

 

 

Live. We were never live. This must have been a big deal that we had captured Io Castle. Capture Io Castle was going to cripple the US claim and take them out of the war. It was a huge victory for New Jerusalem and Titus. We were winning.

 

 

 

 

"It was all Joseph. He was like... I don't know...some sort of war machine..."

 

Joseph leans in and kisses me again. He melts into me. I turn at that moment and see Bashir. Bashir stared at me and our eyes connected.

 

 

I hadn't realized what had happened outside of here. All I knew was they seemed impressed that we had cleared out a whole group of enemies on our own and managed to be alive. I doubt they assumed anyone else in the building was alive. So here we were and I'm not sure what Joseph Varney does but I know that he looks over at us.

 

 

 

 

"Well...I want to let New Jerusalem know that there are other gay people out there besides the Castles..."

 

 

 

 

Shit. Shit. Shit.

 

 

All of a sudden someone yells, "CUT!" The lights go dark. There is an initial panic and everyone gets really silent. I look over at Joseph Varney.

 

 

 

"What the hell did you do...?" I ask him.

 

 

 

Joseph looks over at me. His eyes are wide. He shrugs and says, "I made a change."

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We are gathered afterward at a military base we'd taken over. Three days have passed since the last mission. We're all battered and bruised waiting on the Colonel. I'm starving and broken over all. Tanaka hands me a napkins. Not too far away from us Maggot is getting interviewed by Lisa and Osiris. Supposedly he is a fan favorite now on the TV show. Sometimes I forget the TV show is still happening until moments like his where I can see Tanaka glued onto the screen.

 

 

 

 

"Squad A looks amazing. All of them. Like Olympians. At least Silk makes you look good in your interviews. I always look so...bloated," Tanaka complains.

 

 

 

 

He wasn't bloated. By now he had something like a 6 pack and was in the best physical condition of his life. But I knew who he was comparing himself to. It wasn't even the Squad A members. It was Joseph. I knew it when he looked at him. I knew it when he argued with him.

 

 

"Squad A might have been the ones who took Io Castle, but seems like my story on how brave Joseph was is getting a lot of attention."

 

 

 

"They don't like that..." he states, "That was supposed to be their glory in the sun."

 

 

 

Joseph's name had spread like wild fire throughout the miltary camp. The non-celebrity soldiers were coming up to take pictures with him. War Machine. That's what they called him. Joseph "War Machine" Varney. He'd cleared out damn near 15 American soldiers who were stuck in a stairwell. Of course the fact that he had a grenade and me were thrown in there for dramatics but this was Joseph Varney's time in glory and I wanted him to have it.

 

 

I would have been dead if it wasn't for him.

 

 

 

II turn. Sure enough a bunch of them were eyeing Joseph Varney who was now actually in the sun jogging trying to get some rehabilitation in his leg. He looked sexy. Everyone knew it. His body like some sort of chiseled machine making every old or young gay man near realize how a beautiful his body really is.

 

 

They were jealous of him. Really jealous. I look specifically at guys like Salvatore Mander. Guys who always thought they were going to be on the top.

 

 

 

Not today.

 

 

 

People ate up the Joseph Varney story I told. They loved it.

 

 

"It was the truth."

 

 

 

"It sounded like a love story..." he states.

 

 

It was an odd thing to say. Was that what it came off as. He wasn't the first one to make the comment. Silk had told me everytime I talked about Joseph Varney that I had a spark in my eyes. What spark? I wondered if that was a real thing.

 

 

Just at that moment Joseph Varney's eyes catch mine. Our eyes lock. For a moment I think he knows that we are talking about him. He smiles, slowly. He's looking at me hard...real hard. Everything we talked about before didn't matter now. Now things were different.

 

 

 

 

"Be careful," Tanaka states.

 

 

 

"What?"

 

Tanaka bends his head down. He seems to be hiding something. I look hard at him. He just seems concerned. Real concerend.

 

 

 

Tanaka shakes his head, "Nothing."

 

 

 

"Tanaka spit it out."

 

 

 

"It's just that I overheard Squad A talking one day in the Mesh hall. They hadn't known I was there. They were in the back where most of the other guys go to smoke or hook up when no one's looking. And well ---- it was Salvatore Mander. He was telling your brother how you were becoming a problem."

 

 

"A problem?"

 

 

 

Tanaka nods, "And your brother agreed. Joseph Varney has been out there saying some really shady stuff. That comment he made about the Castles would have gotten any other man killed."

 

 

 

"But he's not any other man, is he? Sure by now he's everyone's favorite soldier. Joseph "War Machine" Varney..."

 

 

 

Tanaka slams his hand on the table at that moment, "This isn't a damn tv show. Varney's abs aren't going to save him. It's not going to save you either. You think they aren't looking into your past? You think they aren't looking into your RTL father----"

 

 

 

He stops.

 

 

 

"You know?"

 

 

 

 

"Joseph told me. Everything."

 

 

 

 

I swallow. Hard. I trusted Joseph with this. I trusted him with this secret and somehow he just betrayed it. It was like nothing to him. Nothing at all.

 

 

"Joseph told no lies," I state.

 

 

"Right. None-the-less, you don't bring up the Castles."

 

 

 

 

"Says who?" I ask.

 

 

 

 

Tanaka shoves me, "C`mon. I'm not playing. If the fucking Castles think we are problems then----"

 

 

"You guys OK?"

 

 

 

We are interrupted by Joseph. He was there right in time. Tanaka was really about to lose his shit on me completely. I understood his concern. I got his worry. The Castles were corrupt. It's the reason why the world was in the state it was now. They couldn't keep their shit together and now they were going to pay for it. Completely.

 

 

 

"We're fine," Tanaka replies, "I should...go check on Maggot."

 

 

 

 

He leaves and carries his negative energy with him. It's clear that Varney feels that negative energy because he leans over on the chair Tanaka was sitting on and almost shakes all that negaitivity off of it before he sits down. He just stares at me for a moment when he sits down. Just staring. Nothing more. After a while it becomes too intense for me to take it so I immediately open my mouth to say something.

 

 

 

"What?" I ask.

 

 

 

He shrugs, "You not going to chew me out what I said about the Castles?"

 

 

 

 

I shake my head, "Not about that, but I'll chew you out over something else. Did you really tell Tanaka about my father."

 

 

 

 

"I trust you," he states, "I know where your heart is."

 

 

 

I pause. It's a nervous way that he says it, but now I'm really starting to think about it.

 

 

 

I shake a little bit, "Do you? Maybe it isn't where you think it is. Listen. The truth is my father is a very bad man. The truth is----"

 

 

 

 

"The world needs change. Sometimes when we think we know something we don't. It's all misconstrued. You have to strip away everything else that you thought you have to know. When everything else is stripped away what are you left with?"

 

 

 

I think about what he's saying, "I don't get it..."

 

 

 

He gets close, real close. He presses his both his hands up against my thigh. He leans up against me and rests his forehead up against my forehead.

 

 

 

"Come on. Tell me. If you take away all the colors of the rainbow what do you have left."

 

 

 

"White?"

 

 

 

"White," he states, "You got it. So maybe it's time we do something. Maybe it's time we strip away all the colors of the rainbow...until it's white. And secrets can't hide in the light."

 

 

 

 

We are close again. So close. Our bodies almost like one. It's as though we are feeling our whole bodies feel as though they are vibrating. He kisses me a few times, waits a few minutes for an officer to pass and continues kissing me meshing his body into mine. I don't care anymore about what he said to Tanaka. I don't care about this war. I don't care about anything else but this kiss.

 

 

And when he's done I'm left speechless.

 

 

But still I stammer in a quick, "Speaking of secrets. You promised me some if I survived."

 

 

 

 

He leans in.

 

 

 

 

"When I first saw you. I thought a war was coming..."

 

 

 

"Oh shit you foretold World War III?"" I laugh.

 

 

 

He nods, "Back then I didn't know it'd be World War III, or the Rainbow War or anything of that sort. Back then I just saw a battle in your eyes. A fight. A struggle. And back then it was the only way I could tell you apart from your brother. His eyes were so calm. So relaxed. So at peace..."

 

 

 

 

I realize what he's saying to me. The words hit me hard.

 

 

 

"I'm still not at peace. I don't think I'll ever be at peace like he is."

 

 

 

 

"No, you'll struggle your whole life," He assures me, "It'll never be as easy as his life."

 

 

 

I shake my head, "Damn, thanks for the vote of confidence..."

 

 

 

That's when Joseph Varney stops me putting his finger on my lips, "You'll struggle. Your struggle will lead to perserverance. That will lead to character. And character will lead to hope..."

 

 

 

"That was beautifiul."

 

 

 

 

"Never stop hoping," he tells me.

 

 

 

Just at that moment we are disturbed. The wind picks up. It kicks over a garbage can and scatters waste around causing both of us to trip over it. Over us we see luxury helicopters landing.

 

 

Neither of us had to say it. We both knew what luxury helicopters meant. It meant that important people were coming to our base. It means that something important was happening.

 

 

 

 

~

 

They called it Mission: Black.

 

 

 

We got the same instructions as every other squad. Return to New Jerusalem. Save New Jerusalem.

 

 

 

When all colors mix together...they create black. If we had a Mission Black that meant that something went wrong. Something went horribly wrong

 

 

 

We are gathered around in the barracks. We still have our weapons. Lisa and Osiris are sent off and return with more information about the meeting. When she walks in she immediately looks around.

 

 

 

She doesn't make any low blows though. She doesn't say anything smart. It wasn't like her. This tells me something serious is happening. Something really serious.

 

 

"What's happened..."

 

 

 

 

"New Jerusalem was taken..."

 

 

 

My heart drops at that moment. I don't understand what is happening. I think about all the people in New Jerusalem. I think about all the gay people in the city in the sky. Regardless of what the Castles' thought that place was a home for a lot of people. That place was a home for civilians. Surely the fighting hadn't moved into a major city?

 

 

I swallow my spit, "What?"

 

 

 

 

Osiris is comforting Lisa who seems to be too upset to even continue talking. He nods, "This was all a trap. They were using Io Castle as bait. They knew Titus would stretch his military powers to get his son back. Dominik Castle, Caesar Castle and Druscilla Castle have teamed together. They call themselves the New Rainbow Alliance."

 

 

 

 

"We have more soldiers we..."

 

 

 

"We are one country. Somehow the entire world is fighting against us now," she explains, "The RTLs have joined them..."

 

 

 

Holy shit.

 

 

 

 

"We are losing from the inside and the outside," Osiris explains, "Mission Black is a last ditch mission. It's a suicide mission."

 

 

 

 

 

And that was how I got here today...

 

 

Dying...seeing the end so close and yet hoping...hoping this wasn't the end of my story.

 

 

To read the next chapter in advance go to www.crushedcrown.com