Chapter 4

 

 

I punch the glass.

“Let me out of here… Let me the fuck out of here!”

I punch the glass over and over. I punch it so hard it cracks. I’m impressed I get it to crack. It hurts my knuckles a lot more than the glass though. Blood oozes red out of my knuckles. Maggot makes a goofy squirm that makes me fake pump a punch to him.

“That seems like something Cicily would do,” Jacob Varney calls me out from the bench.

It’s hard for me seeing a guy that I sort of kind of knew. I mean did he know me to know what kinds of things I would do?

Had he paid attention that much?

I ignore him and turn to the glass. Out of the glass, I can see a lot of soldiers. They seem to like the ones who were here long before the new ones like us were drafted. They were all uniformed. All color-coded.

Like the colors of the rainbow. But the camouflage was the same. From the bunker, I can’t see much but it definitely seems like some sort of military drills going on.

“What can you see?” Tanaka asks.

“Think we’re under attack,” I state, “Maybe they can give the rugrat a gun and we can all get clean out of here.”

“Let me take a look,” Tanaka pleads.

I roll my eyes and let him do as he says. I sit on the bench. We’d just found out not too long ago that New Jerusalem had attacked America. It was bad enough that we were just a little spot on the map and America was a world power.

But now I was drafted.

“I need a call,” I keep saying, “I need to talk to my father.”

I wanted to blame him. A part of me knew it was childish. But maybe that’s why I needed him. I needed to cry and punch my dad in his arm and tell him that this was his fault. He shouldn't have ever convinced me to pretend to be Cair and come to a place like this.

I thought I was getting Cair’s blessing but instead I was getting his curse. And it wasn’t even my idea.

All of a sudden I wonder if I’m regretting all of this.

“Hey, you OK?”

Jacob Varney looks over at me. He has an almost sincere look of concern etched out on his face. I consider being kind to him.

“I’m fine…”

I don’t mean this as an invitation. He gets up and leaves his bottle even to sit next to me. I can barely recognize that he is Jacob underneath all of the condition. I just want to ask him what happened in life to get him to this point but instead, I just awkwardly look at the ground.

“Listen I always thought Cicily was the sexiest guy in the world,” he states out of nowhere.

My mouth drops.

“Uh----”

“Sorry. I know you probably think it’s weird I keep talking about him. It’s weird what you think about in the end, you know?” he states, “I’m just thinking about all the missed opportunities. All the things I should have done that I couldn’t.”

Weird.

I smile. He’s reminiscing. I think about moving. He kind of stinks but I don’t care. He starts mentioning little things about me---about Cicily----that I didn’t know he noticed. Which pants looked good on me. How my smile would light up a room. The way that I want to sit in it. The way he always had to go to detention because of his temper. I want to sit in those memories, even if it’s with him. He reminds me of another time. A time when I wanted to go back to being myself...fucked up, flawed Cicily.

Hours pass. I fall asleep and when I wake up I’m in a strange position laid on top of Jacob--fucking-Varney. I hadn’t known 2nd hand drunk was a thing until I wake up in the heap of alcoholism. He looks down at me.

“Never knew you’d give me a chance, Cair,” he states with a raised eyebrow, “Wonder if I was crushing on the wrong Queeney bro---”

I push him off. I can’t hide the disgust on my face. So much so that I feel bad walking. I stop halfway across the room and I’m just pissed.

“What are you? Some kind of drunk now?”

“You judging me?”

“I’m asking you.”

He looks annoyingly off to the side, “No I’m not a goddamn drunk. I can stop drinking right now if I fucking wanted.”

I look down at the empty bottle. They hadn’t allowed us to bring in here anything that wasn’t tied down to us. Unless he had more alcohol on his person, it was going to be a dry spell for him. Really dry.

All of a sudden my judgment is replaced with concern. True concern. Jacob Varney wasn’t a bad person. He never was.

“Hey…” I stop and realize I’m being cruel so I go sit next to him, “You going to be OK? Without that stuff here?”

He looks over at me. I don’t like the look in his eyes. I don’t like how he smiles weakly, his face trying to gather every fake memory of what a smile is supposed to look like.

“So you all concerned ‘bout me and shit? So I got a chance with a Queeney?”

“No.”

“Not even 2 percent? Back in high school getting one of the Queeney boys was a big thing for a lot of the DL guys.”

“DL guys?”

“Oh, there was a bunch of us. We used to meet at Ray Williams’ house…”

I’m shocked.

Just then we are interrupted. It’s Tanaka. It has to have been 24 hours. Maybe a lot more. We are all starting to smell at this point. The only time they let us out was to use the bathroom and that had a strict guideline of a minute.

“Someone’s coming…”

“The kid is asleep,” Varney states.

I shrug, “Leave him asleep. He isn’t fucking helping.”

Varney gives me an upset look and goes to wake the kid up. I don’t get it. Now he was babying this kid. I don’t understand how we became Daddy Day Care all of a sudden. Maggot was clearly not supposed to be here. It was all a mistake and finally, we have the chance to correct this.

Two people come into the room. One is a man. He is white...about the late 30s. He is handsome, almost a spitting image of Chris Hemsworth. I wondered if all the real respected soldiers looked like him. Like money. Like class. Like beauty. It looked like this was the only country in the world where how you looked mattered. I remembered seeing Bashir and his group. I saw how perfect they looked.

How the fuck was I ever going to look like that? I was a skinny little nothing.

How would I become a soldier?

He steps aside. And as though not ready to commit.

“My name is Owen Young. I am a Drill Sergeant. If you have not guessed it by now. We are at war. And you have been drafted to serve your country…”

Varney raises his hand. Sergeant Young ignores him.

“I will assist each individual in Squad C in their efforts to become highly motivated, well disciplined, physically, mentally fit and beautiful soldiers----”

Beautiful. That’s a new one.

“----------At the end of this training you will be capable of defeating any enemy on today’s modern battlefield. I will insist pride in all I train. Pride in self, in the army and in the Country. I will insist that each soldier meets and maintains the Army standards…”

He continues through his speech. It lasts for an hour. In the end, he asks for questions. I let Varney go first since he’d been waiting.

“What happens if we want to leave?” he states.

“You cannot.”

“What happens if we find a way to do what we cannot do?” I ask.

Young looks at me. I don’t think he likes me very much from the start. I was asking what I knew everyone else in the room was scared to ask at this point. Officer Young was intimidating. I’d give him that. Just one look and I get quiet as a mouse.

“You’ll be arrested…” he states, “Imprisoned. King Titus Castle has a mandatory minimum sentence of ten years for anyone who does a tyrannous act. And going AWOL is an act of treason. And your family will have their citizenship revoked and be kicked out of New Jerusalem.”

Shit.

No one else asks a question after that. We have them. We are just scared about what the answers were I think. I know I was. At the end of it all, I’m sitting. I can barely even stand. I have to sit.

“What now?”

“Get naked.”

We’re all shocked, “What?”

Officer Young gives me a look, “Why, sir…” he corrects me, before answering, “You all are going to be sent to the showers. Then boarded on a plane and sent to Bootcamp. This here is your producer...let her know if you need anything…”

He leaves. The producer waits for a minute, “I’m so relieved he’s gone. Nice to meet all of you. Lisa Tran…”

All of a sudden barrage of questions go at Lisa. She seems nice. I can tell why we’re talking to her. She has on a black jumpsuit but I don’t think she’s military. She is so goddam informal. She reminds you of one of those healthy girls who is always talking about the next fad diet because she needs to lose that extra 10 pounds that have started to cause her to have a fat upper pussy area.

“Why do we need a producer?”

“If we have dual citizenship can we denounce our New Jerusalem citizenship?”

“Why do we have to get naked?” I add-in, for flavor.

She gets so flustered that she ends up tripping over her self dropping some folders onto the ground. She bends over in her skirt to pick them up and I watch the skirt rip up from the seam. It reveals that she has no panties on. It also reveals a few extra secret members that we hadn’t known about.

That’s when drunk fucking Jacob Varney raises his hand to ask one last question, “Is the Tran for Transgender?”

Lisa Tran had a dick. Oh, don’t look at me like that. Would you prefer me to say you had a penis? Ok. Lisa Tran had a penis. A big one. 10 inch...oh too much detail? I thought you wanted to detail. We’re not doing much anything else but dying out here Lisa. Nothing but space and opportunity to get my story right.

So like I said.

Lisa Tran had a 10-inch anaconda dick. None of us understood how she was able to get it tucked for so long. I still remember Tanaka’s reaction. How he got all flustered. I remember how he reached for Maggot. Tanaka covers Maggot’s eyes for some reason and I can’t tell why because we all have to get naked in front of each other shortly anyway. Let’s just say I’m a prisoner of war really being drafted by a country I despised and the whole time I have to pretend to be my brother, but somehow I am embarrassed for Lisa Tran.

I didn’t know you back then, Lisa but I’d soon find out this person and I were matched. Our souls link. Manifest destiny and all the extra. We’d go on this journey together.

“Well I guess I’m showing you guys how to get naked,” she states, “Excuse me…”

“Oh god…” I muttered underneath my breath.

Varney gives me a look. I don’t think he likes me criticizing people.

I honestly find it hard not to criticize our team. There had to be better producers out there. This woman DID NOT have it together. Looking at my team it definitely seemed like the theme around here. I had been dealt the worst card in history.

It takes her a minute. Her face swells up like she’s about to cry. She’s definitely not military.

“Boys, please. Just go with it. Just go with it for now,” and then she leans into us as though she’s telling us a secret that none of us knew, “You don’t have a choice here. None of us do. Not you. Not me. Not my cameraman. Not the Drill Sergeant. No choice…”

I think I hear Maggot swallow his spit. I would as well. I have none left. My mouth is so dry at this point. Seeing a look of fear in Lisa Tran’s face gets us all taking off our clothes immediately. I have to admit it’s a lot.

Taking off my clothes in front of other boys was always weird for me. I had a twin brother and for some reason, Cair had all the accessibility to his nude body as a child in the world but I never could. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of my body. It was the opposite. I was confident in it. I cherished it so much. That I always thought it was something that should be valued over everything. Cherished.

I was old school. I didn’t believe in fucking all the time. I wanted the person who saw my body to value it.

So as I get naked I am grabbing at myself, struggling with one hand to cover up what I can while folding my clothes with the other.

“Here let me help you…”

It’s fucking Varney again.

“I GOT IT!”

“Don’t scream at him you piece of shit-----” I turn and see Maggot.

Maggot is just standing there. He is just looking at me. The look is something serious. It’s a look of pure fucking hatred. I’d never seen anything like it. It’s enough that the entire room turns to him. While this happens I see Varney.

Fuck.

I swallow my spit. He was a bit hairy but even underneath all that hair, I notice one thing that shocks me above all else. The size of his member. Let’s just say you weren’t the only one blessed Lisa. He was huge.

Just as big as Lisa's HUGE ANACONDA DICK.

All of a sudden I wish I hadn’t made a fucking issue with him helping me. I struggle not to get a hard-on looking at him. He’s hairy. I think he has a really nice body underneath it all but honestly, I’d never seen a man so fucking hairy in my life. But that dick was something amazing. He just got a lot more attractive.

“You hear me, you piece of shit killer----”

I’m confused.

“What’s wrong with the kid?” I ask.

No one answers me.

Then there’s Lisa, “Get a camera. Someone get my camera! OSIRIS! WHERE’S MY CAMERA!”

Just at that moment, Lisa has a tall really handsome man run-up who has a real softer flair about him. He wasn’t feminine but he was on the verge. One of those really really PRETTY guys. It was relatively clear he was her second cameraman. He brings her a huge camera and he has one as well. They launch this huge backpack gadget over their backs and heavy-duty equipment is in my face in no time.

I turn to Varney, “What’s happening?”

He isn’t paying attention to me. He’s focused on the sexy camera assistant that walked into the room, “Hey Osiris, I’m Jacob---”

“Oh----didn’t tell me we had a homeless one this time. You’ll be popular with the hippies.”

“He’s not homeless. We got filled in to cover the C-List Celebrities because my sister Margaret Tran got pregnant by her wife.”

He seems confused, “C-List---? This?”

It’s a slap in the face to all of us. I see Jacob was still extending his hand. He clearly drops that. I feel bad for him but that’s what he gets. These people in New Jerusalem were ruthless and I learned that sooner than later. The appearance was everything and well. Jacob had let himself go a long time ago.

“He’s Jacob Varney…”

The cameraman looks shocked. So does Tanaka when he leans over whispering and asking, “Whose Jacob Varney?”

“I’ll tell you later,” I state getting irritated with the lights, “What’s happening here?”

“Shoot the confrontation,” Lista states, “We need you to say to Maggot what you were saying.”

“The thing about me asking what his problem is?”

“Yeah?”

“Why?”

“So we can record it?”

“I’m naked.”

“That’s the point,” she states, “Haven’t you figured out why you’re here?”

I’m confused, “No?”

I look at other boys. They are just as confused as I am. I knew that I was in some special squad but that was all the knowledge I knew of this process.

“You aren’t a regular military team. You’re the celebrity team. You are in a television competition called the Hero of New Jerusalem.”

“Am I having some kind of mind fuck?” Varney asks, sitting down, “I thought we were in the military.”

She sighs, “You’re doing both. 12 contestants. Three teams. Three producers but in the end only one Hero.”

Shit.

I roll my eyes not realizing what is happening right now, “Propaganda. It’s fucking propaganda…”

“Castle destroyed the image of New Jerusalem. This was actually Faus Castle’s idea…”

Tanaka asks, “Faus Castle the patriarch of the Castle family?”

Tran nods.

Tanaka follows up almost immediately with, “What is the prize that the Hero wins?”

“You’re falling for this shit?” I ask.

“We have no choice...they are already filming...if you haven’t noticed…”

I’m so confused.

“Filming what?”

That’s when I see Osiris turn his camera. Maggot is still staring at me. He seems to be a bit crazy or something. He just keeps fucking staring at me.

The camera turns to me.

“What’s wrong with that fucking kid?”

“He knows you?” Tanaka asks.

“I don’t fucking know. I don’t have time for this.”

I walk to the door. I don’t get why this kid was here but something was weird about him. The way he was just so angry at me. The way he called me a killer. I didn’t understand what the fuck that was about.

~

We’re walking naked down a long corridor. I think I’d feel weird but other guys were naked. First Lisa told us we would have to take a group shower, then go to the grooming station because the military didn’t want to funk up their clippers and then take private showers in more luxury spaces. The way she said the word luxury was the stage for our last night in the city before we are shipped off to Bootcamp.

She promised we’d suffer but by the end of the night, it’d get better.

Right now was the suffering part.

“Damn our ass is…” Varney is stating.

“Aren’t you into Osiris?”

“Not interested---” Osiris states from behind the camera.

Osiris has been following us. We were definitely treated differently from the other kids. I can see the other soldiers Thousands of them. They were on a platform below us. From the ground floor, you can look up and see the walkway of the 2nd floor where we were walking. We were looking down amazed by the crowd and they were looking up...wondering what made us get special treatment.

There’s some heavy whispering but I don’t know who they recognize. But I get it soon that they recognize Tanaka. He’s been on the news a lot because of his father’s death.

I see him turn away embarrassed. He must deal with this a lot.

I watch the little boy is a lot further ahead.

“Guys-----the boy,” I state.

Varney looks over at me, “What about him?”

“We need to get rid of him,” I state, “I don’t give a fuck about this competition, I give a fuck about who's watching my back in the field. I don’t want it to be a rugrat.”

“Is this about his bone with you?” Varney asks.

“Fuck no, Jacob,” I state, “I don’t have a bone with a kid.”

“You’re right…”

I am shocked when I turn to Tanaka. He has his arms crossed. He’s stopped walking. He probably doesn’t want Maggot to hear us discussing it.

“You guys really talking about killing a kid?” Varney asks.

“Who said anything about killing?” I ask.

“So what are you talking then?” Varney gets in my face, “I swear Cair. I always knew Cicily was the good Queeney brother but you’re flat out a fucking dick.”

“Cicily does not give a fuck about you.”

“Fuck off he didn’t even like you and everyone knows…”

I’m shocked. Had everyone known I didn’t like my brother Cair in school? It wasn’t that I didn’t like him. He was just---difficult. I’m shocked that’s how it came off and for some reason it fucking hurts. I think it hurts more than I expect it to do.

I ball up my fist. I’m going to hit him. Lisa had been walking with Maggot doing this emotional walk of the youngest soldier in history or something but she looks like she’s ready to run back if there is some drama with us.

Osiris would capture it all though. He hasn’t missed a beat.

“We break his ankle,” Tanaka states, “What happens in the case of injury.”

“We aren’t allowed to comment. You’ll have to ask your drill officer,” Osiris states, “Can you stop talking to the camera as well. It’ll take forever to edit this out and we only have an hour window for editing before we have to send this off to air tomorrow.”

It aired the next day.

Fuck. That was a quick turn around.

“I’m with it,” I state, “We can do it in the group shower when no one’s looking. We’ll tell the drill sergeant he fell. They’ll give us a replacement member.”

Varney shakes his head, “How do you know the new member is going to be better?”

“Anyone is better than a kid.”

Varney shakes his hand, “First you guys talking about killing a kid. Now, this.”

He’s so dramatic. No one mentioned anything about killing a kid but I think his pride is getting in the way of him just saying he was wrong with his initial assumption. Just the average guy. He was going to confuse his way out of this instead of apologizing for going ape shit on me.

“They’ll kill him there,” Tanaka tells Varney.

“FUCK THAT!” Varney gets in Tanaka’s face, “You hear me. Fuck that. They won’t. Because we will keep him safe. We can protect him. He’s safer with us then out there. That kid has no one.”

“I AM protecting him,” Tanaka yells back, “You think the battle is the place for a kid?”

“They are threatening us and our family is we desert. Don’t you think they’ll assume an injury is a way to try to opt-out of this? They could punish him. You don’t even know what they are going to do with him…”

I take Tanaka’s side, “Anything is better than putting a gun in his hand that he can’t even hold and sending him into war.

“We’re propaganda,” Varney doesn’t back down...not even a little bit, “PROPAGANDA! They won’t send us anywhere dangerous. They’ll drop us in some fake battles near the real ones. Film a few scenes and send in the regular soldiers.”

“No one’s disposable,” Tanaka stated.

Varney shakes his head, “I never said anyone was. I don’t make the rules, I’m just explaining that there are some that can work in this kid’s favor. So NO. I’m done with this discussion! He stays with us.”

I have to admit. The alcohol has worn off and Varney has some fire in his debate. The way he keeps getting in Tanaka’s face and almost belittling him to the point that Tanaka looks over to me for help turns me on. It turns me on that he starts screaming in my face when I come in between them to push him away. Even if his breath is a bit sour at the moment. He’s passionate. Raw, passionate man. And then I feel on his chest.

Brick.

It’s the first sign something nice was under all that hair.

“You know what---” I start.

“It’s OK,” Tanaka states.

Tanaka had a glimmer in his eye. He turns to me at that moment. He nods. And then Varney, feeling like he won the argument starts walking away.

“Guys just go with me. I’ll talk to the kid find out what the beef is with you. But we can be a team. All four of us. We can build each other up…”

He walks away.

Tanaka though looks over at me, “You need to distract him in the 2nd shower and get me some alone time with Maggot.”

I look at Tanaka’s face. The seriousness of it was intense...to say the least.

~

“You OK?”

There are two shower stalls.. This isn’t the shower that Tanaka wants the distraction. I notice the glint in his eyes. Tanaka is not as innocent as he made it seem. He’s honorable. I feel that as much. He thinks what he is doing for the best and so do I...but he’d go low if necessary. Maybe that was a good thing. Maybe I needed that in a team member.

“I’m fine…” I tell him, “Hurry up though. We only have a few minutes…”

I’m standing off waiting for him to finish. The other two are sharing but I honestly have turned away from Varney. It’s just weird having this group shower. I wasn’t that guy. I was private. I didn’t know how I would survive something like this. I needed to talk to my Father. I needed him to come to get me. I don't’ know how he was going to do it, but I needed him.

“Join me,” he states, “Oh come on. The water’s lukewarm, it’s about to go cold and we don’t have time. Join me.”

I’m hesitant but I look over at Tanaka. He gives me a sign. His eyes shift towards Varney motioning me over. Varney clearly had a crush on me. I was turned off by him flirting with Osiris but even more just by how he let himself go in all these years.

“You know I always wondered what it would be like to be with you?” I state.

I’m in the shower with him. I take a step towards him and a smile spreads across his face. He takes a step towards me too.

I shiver.

I can’t do it.

“You don’t like me,” He states, “I see how you look at me.”

He looks hurt. Really hurt. He’s not unattractive. It’s just. I hardly recognized him. The drinking. The unkempt facial hair. The body odor. Everything just threw me OFF about him, completely. And I couldn’t resist.

“Jacob…”

“Don’t pity me,” He states, “I know you and Osiris and everyone looks at me as the victim. That’s what I am. That’s what I’ve always been. The first boy who got the Phase. I went on television and told everyone I was straight. I fucking lied….I wasn't straight. I didn’t even have the fucking Phase…”

“That’s what’s been eating you up…” I realize.

That’s what has him in this position. The phase was a disease that turned straight people gay. After his homophobic attack, he told the world that the Phase existed.

But he never really had it. Other people tested positive but not him.

I want to ask more, but I don’t get the chance.

“You can have the water----we get another one later,” he states.

He walks away. As soon as he does Tanaka grabs me pulling me out of the earshot of Maggot.

“What are you doing?” he asks, “You had him eating out of your hands.”

“He’s disgusting…” I state, “Do it now. Maggot’s right there…”

No one was watching us. No one was here. There were some soldiers outside but that was it.

“I gave him some pain pills and I want them to kick in,” Tanaka states and I roll my eyes, “Oh don’t do that. He’s a kid. I’m helping him not hurting him. All you have to do is kiss him. Suck it up. This isn’t just about you and your selfish reason for not wanting to have a weak squad. It’s saving this kid’s life.”

He was right. I was being selfish. I had to get it together.

But dammit. How?

~

After a shower, we are ushered into stations. I notice Varney’s station is right next to Maggot. The two are up there talking. I look over at Tanaka. He gives me a nod towards Varney. This was a bit of a private session though so I won’t have time to even talk to him now. It’ll all have to be in the 2nd shower. I gather myself. I’m still naked but getting used to it by now thank god. That’s when I see this heavyset man.

“Girl no…” he states.

“Excuse me?”

“Girl what is this?” he asks looking at my face, my hair, my body and shaking his head.

He’s rude. Rude as hell.

I reach out my hand, “Cair Queeney…”

“You don’t deserve to know my name…” the man states, “Not yet…”

He was a character. I knew it automatically. He talked to himself a lot and plucked at my skin for a few hours doing beautifying exfoliation peels. During this process, he explains to me that he was one of the top stylists in the world. He traveled the world for fashion. He did it all, he said. A one-stop-shop. The Castles had hired him to create their heroes.

He looked at the other stations. It’s clear there is competition amongst the beauty stations as well.

“I’m assigned to you, ok girl,” he explains, “So girl, if you need anything, girl, make damn sure you tell me. I need to make sure we win. The others have whole teams. I don’t need a team. Here girl. WORK IT.”

He walks me to a mirror. I love it. He’d dyed my hair a blonde color. It goes completely against my brown skin. Speaking of my skin it never looked better. I was glowing.

“Oh shit…”

That’s when he reaches out his hands, “Now it’s officially nice to meet you, Cair Queeney. I’m Silk Valdez…”

~

After meeting Silk I’m taken to the showers. I’m lost for a while trying to find out where our group is. I can see the other showers were even worse than ours. I walk down the wrong hallway and open a room that has maybe 100 to 150 men all in one massive shower. I’d never seen so many dicks and asses in my life. It would be sexy if some of these boys weren’t so young.

“Our is this way…”

I turn. My mouth drops. Oh, shit…it’s Jacob Varney.

“Uh---”

“What?” he asks, “Why are you just staring at me. This way.”

We are in the shower. It’s Maggot who acknowledges it first.

“You are such a cutie, can you be my boyfriend?” Maggot asks Varney.

Varney is FINE. Tanaka almost bursts out laughing when he sees my reaction to Varney. He’s in the shower. Water is cascading off of his body. I mean fucking cascading. His muscles are defined. His body is glowing. All the hair had been removed.

He smelled good. And those muscles were still there. They were even better. He had a better body than anyone in Bashir’s team.

“Sure Maggot. You’re my boyfriend.”

“Don’t make me jealous,” I state.

Varney turns to me when I flirt. I have to admit my heart is racing. All of a sudden I remember how I used to have a crush on the perfect specimen named Jacob Varney. It was probably why his story was so big. He was so attractive.

Varney bites his lip, “What was that?”

“Asshole…” the kid interrupts.

He hates me. Varney finds it funny until I grab his hand, “Tanaka we’ll be back.”

Varney is distracted just the way we want him. We get out in the hallway. The soldiers are further off doing their own thing. We didn’t have a long time.

“I start kissing him---HARD---”

“Wait what’s going on?” he asks, “You aren’t interested in me…”

“I'm interested now…”

I had to admit it. He was sexy. I taste his tongue. He’s a good kisser. He grabs me turning me around and pressing me up against the wall. Our faces are smashed up against one another. Our bodies pressed up against one another. It’s like I’m holding back years of feeling that I’ve had for Jacob Varney. He thinks he’s kissing Cair, not me, but it doesn’t matter.

In the end, our souls connect.

Sparks.

It’s an attachment that happens at that moment that never let's go. After our kiss, he just hovers over my lips. Our eyes are barely open.

It’s that moment where you realize there are things in this world that are more than us. It’s one those moments that makes you believe in God. Because only God could create something so perfect.

“Did you feel that?” he asks.

“Yeah, I----fuck...I can’t even enjoy this.”

“What’s wrong?”

“The kid----”

That’s when his face lights up, “Oh I meant to tell you. That kid does have a bone with you. He said you killed his brother…”

That’s when I realize who the kid is.

Oh fuck.

Maybe the kid saw something. Maybe the kid knew something. But I knew who the kid was and I knew what he knew about me. I knew why he hated me.

“We have to stop him.”

“What?”

~

I run in the room right in time. I jump onto Tanaka grabbing him right before he grabs onto Maggot. Maggot turns around. He doesn’t see Tanaka but he does feel me grab him up and swing him around. He’s screaming the whole time.

“Put him down.”

We turn and it’s Varney. He has a very serious face.

“What?” I ask.

“You weren’t interested in me,” Jacob Varney states, “You were trying to fucking distract me…”

Jacob looks really hurt. But he’s furious at Tanaka. I watch him go straight at Tanaka punching him hard in the face. Tanaka hits the floor. Surprisingly it’s Maggot who springs to the floor to protect Tanaka breaking out in tears.

Jacob withdraws his attack, holding on his knuckle. He’d upset the kid, really bad. Maggot probably didn’t understand the full extent of what was going on.

“He’s a kid…” Tanaka pleads.

“We can’t,” I state, “I have to take care of him. It’s on me…”

“What do you mean you have to take care of him?”

“He’s a killer. He killed my brother Brian…”

The kid hated me and he had every reason to. I was responsible for the death of the only person that meant anything to him. Maggot is Brian’s younger brother.

Later that day when we receive our camo his tag has the name McNamara on it.

Maggot was Ryan McNamara.

To read the next chapter in advance go to www.crushedcrown.com