Chapter 8

We are going with the Hero of Rhinestone."



There are banners already created with my face on it.  I guess I was a hero. 

 

"OK..."



"Make sure you mention the Sergeant.  Make sure you give your condolences...you know how to fake cry?"


Silk Valdez gives me a look.

"I'm not doing a fake cry."

 

"It's a three question interview with written responses.  People are gonna know it's canned if you don't add some flare..."



So in order to seem real he wanted me to be fake.  I can't roll my eyes harder. Since when had SIlk become my life coach and not just my hair stylist

It's hasn't even been that long since President Titus and I were rescued...

Silk Valdez is giving me speaking tips now that I've been returned safely behind Agenda walls.  We were being hosted as special guests. The Drill Sergeant died in the attack. It was interesting timing.  Sort of poetic really that the RTL spy was the one who died in an RTL attack. It's no point in telling anyone who he was.   At this point he was a memory and I'd have to use him. Silk hands me a card with his name on it as though telling me to remember.

 

"You're on in two," Osiris walks in the room and tells me.


I am being hosted in the Palace.  I feel safe, a little bit. Every once in a while we hear an explosion and there is a reminder that the war is going on.  But the night that I am returned and announced as the person who saved King Titus's life was a night of celebration. They appreciated me.    And the last thing I had to do to wrap up the night was an interview. 

 

"Girl!"  Valdez goes off.

"I'm not your girl,"  Osiris tells Valdez, who affectionately calls everyone his girl for whatever reason.  

 

"I need 20 to get him perfect," my stylist, Slik Valdez says.

This wasn't just about me.  Valdez's work would be seen by millions on the first show.  He wanted to make sure it was perfect. Lisa had given him a hefty budget to order a style team for me but that wasn't Valdez's thing.  He was a perfectionist. He did everything himself. He sewed my clothes, he cleaned my pores, he styled me and hell he even gave me speech tips.   I was his client. And the fact that Osiris was rushing him clearly irritated the hell out of him.

 

I had done something heroic before the season even started.  The first episode of our "war show" was airing tomorrow. It would be getting people on our side in the war.  It could make a difference if people saw New Jerusalem in a positive life after all the negative Castle family drama that we had to deal with through the years. 

 

Osiris gives me a hard look and rolls his eyes, "It's not like you can get him to look much better than he does now, Valdez.  5 minutes..."



Osiris rudely walks out.  He slams the door behind him.  

 

Valdez is more annoyed than ever, "He's jealous of you, girl.   Idiot... maybe he thought what happened between him and Jacob actually meant something----"



I pause.

"What happened between him and Jacob."




Valdez almost swallows his spit.  He gossiped the same as any other stylist but I knew that this was something a little bit more important when he almost goes completely pale.  He manages to get my jacket suit on and pressed down my collar without saying anything but when he sees that I'm still waiting for an answer he takes a deep breath.

 

"Nothing..."




"So why'd you say it?"




He is hesitating to respond, "Girl.  Maybe you should have a conversation with them about Jacob about this when he gets back."


"He isn't back.  He went AWOL to look for me," I remind Silk, "Silk, if we're going to work together then we need to trust each other.  Don't you agree..."



He gives me a look, "Scandalous how you are treating me girl"




I give him a look.  Where did his loyalty lie?




"Whose stylist are you exactly?" I ask him, "Girl?"

 

He leans in.  I'm sure he would call himself scandalous for getting in this sort of drama.  But its clear that he wants to.




He smiles, "I don't know for sure girl, but the word is Osiris has been trying to get in his bed since you left.  Word is he succeeded?"




"They had sex?"




"Yeah girl," Silk explains. 

"That's not true.  He would never..." I try to say.

Me and Jacob were really feeling each other before the accident.  It would take him longer than a week and a half to get past that kind of spark.  Surely. I mean he was out there looking for me right now. That's the reason he went AWOL.

 

Slik gives me a look.  A serious look.

 

"They fucked..."

 

All of a sudden we are disturbed.  It's Tanaka. He's running up to me.



"He's back!"  Tanaka is screaming at me, "Varney is back.  Come on, Queeney. He wants to see you so bad..."


We were being hosted tonight in the palace but tomorrow we would be sent back to war I assume on another mission.  After struggling to get here I knew that I needed to enjoy this comfort while I had it. 

 

I look over at Valdez.  I didn't know too much about him but what I did know about him was very clear.  His interest was my success with this show. He wouldn't do anything to sabotage that including spreading a hurtful rumor like this that he didn't think was really true.  Valdez must have had a really good source to be knowing for sure that it's true. I give him a chance to take it back but he doesn't.

And for some reason that give me this nasty turn in my stomach. 

"I can't see him right now," I walk past Tanaka not giving him a second look, "I have an interview..."

 

 

I can't keep my mind off of Jacob Varney.  The studio is hot. I'm wearing my miltiary jacket.  I look like the perfect soldier. Lisa is across from me.  She had a pretty dress on. I'd never seen her look so pretty.  She is pacing back and forth.

"You OK?" she asks me, "I know this is a big deal for you...you OK?  A lot of people are going to see this...let me know if you're OK..."




"He looks a lot better than you do Lisa, you should calm down," a voice states.

I turn and see him.  Jacob Varney. He walks in with Tanaka and Maggot.   Jacob looks so fucking good. He must have just gotten back.  Of course he looks rough. He looks like he'd been through it.  There is this big gash across the side of his cheek but it adds this sexy ass character.  He stands there, dusted with war all over him but i was the first person he came to see. A part of me wants to run over to him and give him the biggest hug, but then I remember what Silk told me.

He'd been having sex with Osiris.  I turn to Osiris to see how reacts.  There's irritation here. A clear irritation. Why would he be so irritated that Jacob Varney was here showing support to me if what Silk Valdez said wasn't true.

 

So I turn towards my notes, acting as though they were taking up all my attention.

"This is a closed set," Osiris states.

"We just wanted to show support to our unit member..." Tanaka states.

 

"If it's OK with you guys," Jacob adds.

 

I'm surprised Maggot is there.  I'm surprised he looks over at me smiles and nods in the next few minutes too quietly.  

 

"It's up to our hero,"   Lisa explains, "Everyone is paying attention to Squad C right now.  We all can benefit from Queeney's moment..."


It did  mean something that they were here to support.  What I had survived was amazing. I had a story to tell and people wanted to hear it.  

 

"Stay..." I said quickly.

 

I want to be warmer but in this moment I know they don't need warmth.  They'd probably like it but they need support. They needed to know we were all in this together. We had all survived this so far together and if we planned on surviving any longer it would have to be the same.

 

"Can we talk?" Joseph asks.

"I already told Tanaka how busy I was..."




"I'm asking you," Joseph states, "Not Tanaka.




He gets in my face daring me to say no to him.  And I can't. Not in a million years. I just motion towards a private room.

 

Being in a private room with Jacob was awkward to say the least.  He walks over to me and gives me a hug. The hug feels real and I let him hug me.  I let him wrap his arms around me and grab me up and hold me. 

"We were worried about you.  All of us..."




"Even Maggot?"




He nods, "Weird right.  He kept asking about you.  I know you're busy out there.  Everyone's talking about you. The other soldiers are all spreading gossip.  I don't know what's true or not."




"You can ask me.  I heard some rumors too..."



"About me."



I shrug... "Maybe."



His face wrinkles up a little bit and gets real serious, "What rumors?"



"Nah, it don't work like that.  What have you heard first."




Joseph leans back and shrugs, "That you're some badass soldier even without bootcamp.  You really save Titus?"




"Yeah...but I'm no badass.  It was luck."



I'm not sure at that point if that was a good thing or a bad thing.  It had slowed down the invasion. The different countries that were storming New Jerusalem had stopped momentarily.  But the scare had shaken the nation. We'd seen what this war was going to be about. This was an all out battle royale on a universal level and it would all be taking place here.  

 

"Well you spread that luck," He pauses and thinks before he finishes what he ways, "I'm lucky I got this moment alone with you..."



It's gut wrenching when he says it.  A sweet expression that makes my heart flutter a little bit. 

"You are?"




He must realize how intense the moment is because he immediately tries to make light of it by adding in, "Yeah never can get you alone because your stylist is kind of nuts..."



I'm sure the other soldiers, producers and stylists didn't like Silk.  He was sort of intense. I have to admit I find myself laughing at it.



"Silk don't play."



"Remind me not to get on the bad side of his curling iron."



We laugh for a second.  The moment brings us a little closer.  A stupid joke is all it takes to break a lot of the tension between us.  It's been a while since I've seen him. He leans in and touches my arm. Just having him so close to me makes me shiver.  Damn he feels good. I find myself flushed at that moment. 

Things get serious again, all on their own.  Maybe its the fact that his face is inches away from mine.  I can smell his breath. He was a soldier and I got all of that off of him but I didn't care.  There was something so warm and protective about him.



And then I think about the rumors.

 

"They said you went searching for me out there while I was gone.  That part true?"

 

 

He nods, "Yeah.  My turn. Heard a rumor about you and Bashir...getting serious..."




"Getting serious?" I ask.

 

"Yeah.  I know you're pretending to be Cair but Cair and him had something going on."




"It was nothing.  They were pretending."




"Is he pretending with you?" he asks.

 

"What are you saying?" I ask.

 

He shrugs, "I'm saying that I was able to tell that you were not Cair.  So what if Bashir knows as well? What if Bashir knows you're Cicily----the person who he was in a REAL relationship with back in the day."




"He doesn't," I explain, "No one does but you.  Where is this coming from?"

 

He seems concerned.  I look over at Joseph and I have to admit that I think it's cute how he is clearly jealous.  He stuffs his hands in his pockets. The way that he looks is beyond intense. I find myself paying attention to everything he is doing in these next few minutes as though his next words would change the rest of my life.

I don't know why they seemed to come out of his mouth so heavily.

 

"When you are so close to danger...and so close to potentially, the end...you see things different," he admits, "You believe in fate, man?"



I struggle with that one, "I don't know.  You?"




He doesn't hesitate.  Not even a moment, "Absolutely.  And honestly it has to be a reason that the one boy I had the biggest crush on just happens to be in my squadron.  And you just happened to survive that plane crash when so many others died. We keep getting pulled together man. That's a message from God..."



"Didn't know you were religious," I state.

"Didn't know I was too...until that plane shot down..." he explains, "And the last thing I could think of was you.  Osiris just so happens to be religious. We spent an entire night together praying for your return."



"You prayed for my return with Osiris?"




He nods, "Yeah.  Why'd that surprise you?"





"I heard a rumor the two of you were..."





I can't even finish.

Joseph looks at me, "You thought I was having sex with Osiris.  Is that why you were playing hard to get in front of everyone?"




At this moment my face turns red. 




"Did you?"




"He and I were praying," he explains, "We literally went live and had a midnight visual on social media.  Hundreds of people joined. Did your source mention that part too or maybe they thought I had sex with Osiris in front 550 live viewers..."




"OK.  I get it.  Stop twisting the knife."




"I'm not twisting the knife," he states, "I just want you to realize how you're coming up with excuses at this point for us not figuring this out..."




Figuring this out.

 

"Osiris just seemed a little...upset..."




"The other producers are trying to take over this event and add in their own spins. They know the entire world is looking at you right now for saving Titus so everyone wants to capitalize on this moment.  I think you've been picking up was just that sort of energy."



I'm not so sure about that one.  Sure Osiris may not have had sex with Jacob but I didn't know if it was because of anything he did.

Either way I look at Jacob and I have to admit I'm still getting butterflies.

Why did he have this effect on me?




"Jacob we're going to war.  I saw how it is out there. You don't want to start something with someone at a time like this."




"That's more reason than ever..."



"To do what?"



"This..."




He plants his lips against mine.  His warm tongue is like a volcano when it pushes through my lips.  Immediately I feel the heat spread from his lips to his touch. He trails the small of my back.  I find myself exhaling as he does it. 

"Jacob---"




He knows I'm about to stop him.  He knows I'm about to say something.  Anything to ruin the moment. I guess that's what I'm good at.  I guess I've sabotaged whatever we had long enough that now my little soldier was ready with a battle plan.  He attacks me with an aggressive maneuver. His hands explore my body like drones. Every part of me seems revealed to him in this moments.  I didn't know someone could touch another person so thoroughly.



After a lingering kiss he keeps breathing me in.  Our lips are agaped. Our tongues floating in our own mouths.  Our breaths are interchanged between one another. In those moments we might as well have been the same person.

Fate.



Is that what this is?




"I shouldn't be feeling this about you," I assure him, "Not this soon."



"Fate.  When you know you know.  And I haven't just met you.  I've known for a while now. You're just now figuring it out."




Or was I?  I remember being younger sitting on that couch.  I remember my father calling Jacob Varney a faggot when he heard about what Jacob was going through.  I remember just feeling so bad for him. My mother wasn't any help, back then. That was before the Phase.  

 

"We will go on our date..." I state.

"Oh so this date is really going to happen?" he asks. 

I nod, "Yeah.  Tonight. Before we are dispatched again..."

 

 

He licks his lips.  We're just on time because I hear the nervous sounds of Lisa Tran in the hallway.  A few of her producers are chasing her down. 

 

We are walked out of the room to see why Lisa Tran is panicking.  It looks like there are visitors in the room. At first I am not sure who the visitors were but then I see them.  I knew these were very important people from the security. I knew these were very important people when I see Tanaka standing in a corner like a quiet little church mouse without an opinion for the first time ever.  


A few of the producers are speechless.   There is a tense nervousness in the air. 

 

"We got a special visit from King Titus Castle, his wife Europa, sister-in-law Octavia and nephew Kaiser."



The Castles were here.  Some of them that is. These people were infamous.  It was almost as though the Gods of Mount Olympus had descended from their thrones.  That's if the Gods of Olympus were power hungry, cruel, scandalous soap opera rejects with fancy clothing.  Not too far away from them was J. Boone. Seeing him again was definitely not the highlight of my day.



I watch Boone give me a suspicious glare but quickly divert my attention to a much more welcoming face.  One that might keep me safe if Boone wanted to act up.

 

My eyes turn to Kaiser.  He was the one decent Castle and he gives me a smile.

"No need for the formality," Kaiser states, "I was just telling my Uncle that it is the most amazing coincidence that I know the Hero of Rhinestone Alley."



I'm nervous when I see Titus approach me.  Now that he wasn't bleeding out in the back of a truck he had a very distinguished look.  The Castles ALL had that look, even the women. They all looked related even the ones who are married in.  The two women who had married into the Castles, Europa and Octavia were statuesque beauties that looked more like paintings of idleness than reality. 

 

Then there is Kaiser.  Sick beautiful Kaiser. 

 

"Hmph," I hear Joseph say to me as he takes a step back. 

 

Something really has him on edge.  I don't know why though. 

 

Titus reaches over and offers me his hand, "You're quite brave.  You remind me of my own son, Io..."



"Io's a traitor, remember?" Octavia warns him.

I watch how she walks over to him.  I heard of Octavia Castle. She was a socialite who threw legendary parties throughout the world.  She looked just as intimidating in person. She was tall and piercing. I had heard she had been born in male's body before the realization that she was really a woman and undergoing the surgery to become a natural transwoman.  When she places her hands on Titus's arms I watch Europa---his wife shudder. It seems quite intimate.


Intimate enough for me to know that even the remaining Castles who hadn't gone to raise armies to press their claims had drama of their own.  Drama that I wanted nothing to do with. 

 

I'm desperate to change the subject, I turn at that moment, "Actually I was going to introduce you all to my friend..."

 

He's gone.  Completely.

 

"I'm your friend," Kaiser laughs, putting an arm over his shoulder. 

"We get it, Kaiser," Titus seems irritated, "Son, you did a great thing with saving my life. The world owes you a great debt."



The world owed me for saving him?  He thought highly of himself huh? Titus Castle isn't a man for pleasantries.  

 

He quickly adds, "The RTLS responsible for the recent attacks will be all caught, lined up and shot.   How about I give you the honor of killing my enemies..."




I look over at Kaiser.  I'm confused on what his uncle is asking me right now.  I'm nervous. He wanted me to kill for him? Looking at Titus I can see all this dark energy coming from him.  There was something so dangerous about this man. Something that made me cringe. Kaiser nods at that moment. 

"He'd be honored to," Kaiser speaks on my behalf.

 

Titus nods, "See everyone.  This is the future of our country.  We will show the world that gays are strong...powerful and devastating."




A couple of people start cheering.  I join in. It's not that I found Titus moving.  His voice was monotone with no enthusiasm. It was dark and frightening almost.  Some dark emperor realizing that he was coming into power. There was one thing that wasn't dark though.  One thing that was actually moving. Actually funny. It was Funny him talking about gays while he was married to a woman.  No one will ever question that in person though.  

 

Luckily Kaiser pulls me away from his Uncle and his sister-wives.

 

"Do you all mind if I steal the hero away for a second before we all go watch the interview in the audience?"



No one says anything when Kaiser grabs me. 

This wasn't part of the plan.

"You OK?" he asks me.

"No...I was fucking attacked.  Someone shot down the plane and my father had something to do with it..."




Kaiser lowers his voice. 

 

"Stay quiet.  Listen. Nothing is what it seems.  You are in danger. Your entire team is..."



My heart skips a beat.  I don't know if I trusted Kaiser.  He was nice. He was smart. He was a gentleman.  But at the end of the day. After all was said and done----Kaiser was a Castle.  And in this world...being a Castle meant that might as well be related to the Devil.

 

"I got to do this interview..." I state.

He nods, "Titus wants you dead."




I turn at that moment.




"I just saved his life..."




He shakes his head, "It doesn't matter.  You're nothing to him. You're a ploy to the end.  The plan is to build you up. Make you loved among everyone and then when no one expects it you'll be killed.  He'll blame it on his enemies. The world feels bad and he can use that as his trump card to gain favor on the world stage."

 

 

Shit.

 

This wasn't happening.  I look down the hallway at Titus Castle.  He is taking photos with a bunch of people who are asking.  He waves at me. The friendliest wave you could imagine in the world.  My instincts were right about him.



He was the worst. But then I look back at Kaiser.  What were my instincts about him?




"Who are you loyal to?" I ask.




"Clearly not the Castles," he explains, "Not the invaders.  Not the RTLs. I'm loyal to New Jerusalem... what it should have been.  What it still could be..."



I look at him.  He seemed like he meant it.  He was actually in a position to make a difference.  But he was just a nephew. One of the only Castle new generation who hadn't picked up an army and declared war. 

 

 

"What do I do?"



"Put on a show.  I've arranged something.  Something you are going to have to go with..."




"What are you talking about?"



"You'll know when the time comes...we'll be out in the audience.  Don't mess this up. I'm trying to make it so that Titus Castle can't kill you.  I'm trying to make it so you have an attachment to this world."




An attachment?  What is he saying?  Titus will kill me if I don't have an attachment?



The Castles would be watching my interview?  All of a sudden everything seemed worse. I remember the day that Prince Io Castle and Kaiser Castle were getting married.  I remember them killing someone on television. I'd seen what the Castles did to someone who disappointed them. They could get away with anything.   

 

The Interview begins with Lisa introducing herself to the nation and in all honesty, to the world. 

"Here with me, we have the one and only Cair Queeney...

 

Digitally I am placed on a stage.  It's new technology. One that I never heard of.   A few people laugh I think as I react to one moment being in an interview room and the next moment appearing on a stage in front of millions.   Inside the War is listed behind me in big letters. An entire crew is there now...not just Lisa Tran and I. The crowd must have been behind the Rainbow Walls.  People living normal lives thinking everything was fine. The men wear jackets and top hats and cravats in a prism of colors. Some have hair growing on their faces in neat patterns. They stand beside women adorned with jewels and draped in luxurious, pastel-colored dresses made full with crinoline and tulle.

 

This was the new New Jerusalem.

 

 Intricate hats cover the ladies' hair; some clutch dainty parasols and oil paper umbrellas, or cool themselves with patterned fans. From the floating platforms above, I bet they resemble candies in a box.

 

 

The first question appears out of nowhere, "Cair so many people by now have heard the story of your heroism.  So how does it feel to be the man who saved Titus Castle..."



"I was trying to get to a green zone," I state, "And I saw the president and I just had to..."




Lisa Tran oos at me, "So humble!  Unfortunately we were not able to catch your heroism on film but supposedly you are going out in the field and we are going to catch it all, isn't that right?"


The crowd oos along with her.   I had to admit that she was good at this.  She was better than me...for sure. I try to slap a smile on my face as that crowd oos along with her.  I just hope I'm giving her enough personality for her to at least get by with this hero story. Hundreds may be watching, no thousands.  Hell perhaps millions.


This doesn't count as a question.  It's fluff. I was prepared for this one too. 

"That's right Lisa.  It's going to be a real action movie out there," I state.

She smiles, "Now not everything ends up the way we want in the field.  The people of the world will be on a journey with you to see the true ups and downs about the gay freedom fight.  So what was the hardest part about your fight for freedom."



It was propaganda.  All of it. When did this become a fight from freedom for gay people?  It's gay people who started all this drama. We were given land and we squandered it with corruption.  Now we were trying to scrape our way out of public relations disaster on the world stage and I was the puppet they chose to put a camera up to.

 

And like a good puppet,  I am able to pull off my fake cry.  It scares me how good I am at it when it counts.  I curdle my lips. I reach over for Lisa's hands. She grasps at her chests as I let in a deep sigh.  And then I wail. I wail and I wail. I wail until she calls a fake cut for a second and asks for a break. 

During the break she pulls me off to the side, "You're doing great..."



"Perfect.  So fake cry and one more question?" I ask her.

 

"Right and then we're done," she states before calling back to Osiris, "OK LETS START BACK UP."




She spends some time apologizing to the crowd.  By now the crowd assumes that I've calmed down and can continue the conversation.  There is not one eye dry in that crowd. Not one that I can see. They are all so upset without really knowing what I was upset about. 

Because that's what was going to make me survive all this. 

 

"I lost a true friend.  My Sargeant. Owen Young.  He died in service," I explain to everyone, drafting clear shows of sympathy from the audience.  I let the moment stand for a second. Somehow the production team is able to trigger projected images of Owen Young to appear on the screen. 

It's crazy how the world worked.  He was going to die a hero. If this country survived they'd include him in a museum somewhere.   But the fact is he was a traitor and the only reason he was dead was because the same people he worked for wanted Titus dead a lot more than they wanted him alive. 

 

Lisa Tran has her own handkerchief, "How heartbreaking.  Isn't that right everyone? Join me in showing some support to New Jerusalem's new favorite hero by watching the upcoming episodes of "IN THE FIELD" and you might just see a little more of our hero and find out who is helping him deal with the death of his best friend.  Supposedly you are taken?"



I look at Lisa and smile.  This was the last question.

"Yes...but I want to respect his anonymity  He hates the spotlight..."




It was the perfect answer.  Silk had spent an hour thinking about it.   It worked out for me actually. People went around wondering and I never was really tied down to anyone.  Everyone heard what they wanted to hear.   

 

And that's when things get weird.



"We actually have him here tonight...!"  Lisa echoes to the crowd.

 

The crowd breaks out into applause.  I'm confused. I give Lisa a look as she gets up and starts cheering.  She never mentioned any surprises. She never mentioned anyone else being there.  All of a sudden a cold sweat drips down my back. I'm nervous. I turn to my right wondering what the hell is going on and that's when I see fucking Bashir walk into the interview room with me.   He walks right into the projection.

 

My heart is skipping at that moment not understanding how this is happening.  Suddenly Bashir wraps his arms around my waist. He drafts it around my waist as though claiming me.  The way he holds me reminds me of back in the day. When things were real and my life wasn't one big scene of performance art.

 

"Baby...I've missed you," he states.

I give him a look, "Yeah I wasn't...I wasn't...uh...expecting you."

 

 

"No, but I was expecting you," he states, "I was expecting you all my life.   And that's why I want to do this. Cair...with everything happening in my life I feel like I owe you everything and more."



And that's when he gets on one knee.

 

"What---what's happening?"




I find myself searching desperately for an explanation.  WHAT THE FUCK was going on?

 

"Will you marry me?"

 

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