The only really odd thing that happened in 1977 was Max' 'veer'. He asked me to write you about this so, dear Eugenio, here is what happened and how.
Max went to make a delivery to a client at his villa a not far from Asti. It was some antiques. On his way back, he saw someone hitchhiking and stopped to give him a ride. It was a twenty-one year-old boy. During the ride they chatted and Max found him really likeable and rather pleasant company. The boy was well built and had a something sensual in him. His name was Luca. Max at once felt attracted towards him, but he didn't care too much as he thought that nothing would come of it as he would never meet him again. So he let himself go in a kind of game, treated him in a friendly way and admired him out of the corner of his eye. Max didn't have any idea if the boy was gay or not and he wanted to see how he would react. Possibly the boy understood as he was not indifferent to Max, and he, who was gay, was attracted by my man and decided to try to sound him out.
But all was still hovering, neither of them had yet made any explicit approach. Max was aware of the boy's attempt at seduction and so continued in that kind of game. Max also noticed at some point that between Luca's legs his fly had swollen and contained a conspicuous erection. This aroused Max, but he just smiled to himself and did nothing. He continued to drive pretending he hadn't noticed. They arrived in town and Luca got out and they said good bye. Max went back to his shop and soon forgot the boy.
A couple of days later, Max saw Luca enter the shop.
"Hello, I was passing and thought I'd drop in to say hello." Luca said with a smile.
"How did you find me?" Max asked, inquisitively.
"There's this address on the side of your van..."
"Ah, yes, that's right..."
"Do you remember my name, Max?"
"You are Luca, right?"
The boy nodded with a smile, looked around, then said: "You are not alone in the shop, right?"
"No, my partner is in the back. Why?"
"Then you can leave for a moment. I would like to buy you a drink in a nearby bar, to thank you for the lift you gave me."
Max shrugged his shoulders, told his partner he was going out for a short while and left with the boy. At the bar they chatted a little.
Then Luca said: "Good, Max. I have to go now. May I come again? It's been a pleasure to talk to you. Do I bother you?"
Max accepted. He could feel that the boy was attracted to him, but didn't understand if it was just a liking or more than that, and in a way he was curious to see if the boy would try anything with him or not. So they met some two or three more times. Max told me about all these encounters, and I was not at all worried, because to me it was evident that Max was just feeling curiosity towards the boy. One day, Max met Luca on the street. They greeted and chatted a while, then Max invited him to a bar for a drink.
"Listen, Max, I live just up here. Come upstairs with me, I'll introduce you to my sister, and we can have a drink at my place."
The offer seemed so innocent, there was also a sister, do you see Eugenio, so Max accepted without hesitation and went upstairs with Luca. He sat him in the living room and called his sister. No answer.
"Oh, she must have gone out. Well, if she is not back soon, I'll introduce you another time."
He offered Max a drink, sat near him on the couch and they chatted. Then Max was again aware that the boy had a strong erection and didn't do anything to hide it, on the contrary he was sitting on the couch his legs parted, leaning against the back. Max became aroused. Luca stood up, put down his glass on the table and stood in front of Max, standing there, his legs slightly parted.
He looked at Max, straight in his eyes and said: "Do you know... I like you."
"Eh? Mmhh... I too like you."
Luca moved closer and knelt on the couch astride Max and embraced and kissed him straight on his mouth.
"Careful Luca! Your sister may come..."
"I have no sister. I just wanted you here. I want make love with you."
"No, Luca, let's just remain friends..."
"You're hard. I can feel it. You too desire it..."
"Yes, but it would be better..."
Luca kissed him again and pressed himself against his body. Max was more and more excited and resisted him rather weakly. The boy opened his shirt, caressed his chest and lowered to gently bite Maxs' nipple - his weak point. Max abandoned all his determination to resist him and let himself go. They undressed each other. Luca had a really sexy and exciting body, and was skilled in its use, so Max at once was prey to a very strong desire, of passion, of excitation and so started to take an active part in the encounter. Without any restraint, they started making love and, be it for the novelty of the thing, be it because Luca was anyway a really alluring boy, Max fully immersed himself into the intercourse and enjoyed it at least as much as Luca. When Luca, sitting on his lap, tried to impale himself on Max' member, Max penetrated him with transport and energy, with mutually strong pleasure. Luca rode him with a kind of wild joy, emitting pleasurable moans and provoking very strong and pleasurable sensations to my Max with his feverish and skilled hands. Eventually they both reached the pinnacle of pleasure and came, unloading themselves, Max deeply embedded inside the boy, and Luca between their bellies.
Finally, they kissed and took a shower together.
Luca asked him: "We will meet again, right, Max?"
"No... I don't think so!"
"But... you too enjoyed it, didn't you?"
"Yes, certainly. But I don't want to be involved in anything like that."
"I'm not asking you to become my boyfriend. Just to see me again."
"To fuck again?"
"Yes, sure. But also to stay together. I would like us to become real friends. I would really be glad."
"We can be friends, Luca. Just friends. No more sex."
On that occasion Max said nothing to me. He was probably afraid of hurting my feelings or he was just ashamed. They met again and, even if not on every occasion, they made love again. I noticed nothing. On the contrary I found Max even more affectionate, hotter and sexier than ever. But Max, at a certain point, became aware that he was starting to like Luca too much.
Once, when they were together and Luca wanted to make love, Max told him: "No, Luca. I feel good with you, I like you. But I haven't told you I have a lover with whom I live, who loves me and that I love very much. It was a mistake to have sex with you, and now it must stop. I can't and don't want to put in danger my relationship with Edoardo."
"But you like me, you desire me..." Luca said looking at him with an alluring smile.
"Yes I told you. I like you very much. That's why we have to stop."
"I see... You really love your boyfriend?"
"Yes, very much. We've been together for almost six years."
"And you haven't got tired of him?"
"Tired? Are you joking? I'm more in love with him than ever. I would no more be able to live without him. I need him as he needs me. I was wrong in cheating on him. You are the first. I have done wrong."
"He doesn't know about us?"
"No, not yet but today I'll tell him, I owe him that. And I hope not to hurt him too much."
"And if he leaves you?"
"Not possible! Even if what I did hurts him, he will forgive me."
"Are you sure? Really sure?"
"More than sure!"
"Then, it's a pity I didn't meet you before..."
"No offence, Luca, I have no regrets. I am very happy with my Edoardo. With him there is love, do you understand, not only good sex, magnificent sex like with you. My life is his. You are terribly attractive and really likeable, I feel good with you, but you are not my boyfriend."
"Let's make love for the last time, then."
"No, sorry Luca, no more."
"We can, at least, remain friends..."
"Yes, I would have liked that, but you attract me too much... It would be better if we never saw each other again."
"I see. If we meet in the street, I'll pretend not to know you..."
"No, that would be absurd. If we meet, all right. I will be pleased to see you, to talk with you. But... it would not be wise to be alone with you. I know you would try and I don't know if I would be able to refuse your advances. You attract me too much, physically."
They didn't meet any more.
Max came back home and told me he had to talk to me. He was so embarrassed that, almost at once, I guessed what had happened. He told me everything in detail, said he was very sorry, ashamed. He was so worried for me that he made me an unbelievable tenderness and, contrary to what I thought in past, I didn't feel offended, wounded or jealous. My Max was there, with me, for me. He had had in his hands something beautiful, attractive, and he left it for me, he chose me. Max didn't try to find excuses, he didn't try to place the blame onto Luca, he objectively explained to me what he had felt, how he reacted, what he did, and what at the end he had decided.
Then he asked me: "Edoardo, can you forgive me?"
"Love! For what? For having chosen me in favour of another? For loving me? The only one thing that counts for me is being able to give you my love and receiving yours. You are here and between my arms."
"I swear I'll be more careful, I swear it will never again happen."
"No, I don't want oaths, Love. If it happens again, the only thing that counts to me is that we continue to love each other more and more, and that you and I remain together."
You see, Eugenio, he told me some time before not to worry if I happened to have a similar adventure. He then said that he would not be jealous and that he would love me exactly as always. I think Max may have mentioned this before. Well, now I too discovered that I felt the same way, just like him. I think that this, to learn to feel in a more and more univocal way, is one of the most beautiful fruits of the fact of really loving each other and of living together.
In 1978 nothing exciting particularly happened. Max continued to work with his antique dealer partner and I... Ah, no, in 1978 I changed my job. I started to work in an interior design studio. At the beginning my tasks were more as a secretary than as the interior designer I hoped when I answered their ad in the paper.
In November 1979, I graduated as an Architect. Max, without me knowing it, organised a party with all our friends and close relatives. The duchess sent a beautiful present with a letter me, but didn't come. I didn't have any more the chance to meet her, and neither Max, I think, but Max phoned her at least a couple of times each month. Giovanni and Lucia, instead, came. Giovanni had become a handsome boy, really attractive. He was twenty years old and he was going steady with a girl, quite seriously, it seemed. There was also Margherita with her husband. She had married just a little while before to a young man, who was not all that handsome. However, he was really likeable and open minded. He at once became our friend.
In 1980, Max decided to set up an antique shop on his own. I coordinated the project - it was my first. We were fortunate to find a shop downtown and with the help of a loan we bought it. At the beginning we had to make savings and sacrifices, money was short and the shop was not yet established. That year we didn't even go on vacations, I mean, we didn't travel. But the duchess, who went to spend the summer in France to see some relatives, offered us the castle. So, after many years, we again went to the place that saw our love blossom. You can't imagine the emotion I felt.
That summer I also met for the first time Paolo and his boyfriend. Paolo visited the castle to see his parents. He took his lover with him, but introduced him as his work colleague and friend. They were really colleagues, they met at work and had been living together for a year. His parents in their small apartment at the castle accommodated his friend but, in such a small space, they couldn't for sure have many intimate moments. So Max offered them the use of the room in the tower that hosted me so many years before. It was so tender seeing them going upstairs to the tower, hand in hand, during the day! Paolo confided in me that they very seldom used the bedroom. Apparently, they preferred to make love on the terrace between the battlement on top of the tower. Max and I also went up there, but at different times for privacy. We never went upstairs when we knew that they were there. To me, that terrace had always been a rather sacred place, a temple of love. That's why, when you started your relationship with Giorgio, I wanted you to meet up there, alone, to make love. Do you remember?
In September 1980 my brother Giovanni married and invited us to his wedding. When he introduced us to his wife, he said: "This is Teresa, my wife. This is Edoardo, my big brother, and this is Massimiliano Faletti, my brother in law."
Teresa shook our hands with a smile, but then looked at Giovanni somewhat puzzled and asked: "Sorry, I understood that Lucia's husband was the man talking my cousin Rodolfo..."
"Yes, that's right. Max is my brother's lover, therefore..."
Teresa had an amazed expression for a fraction of a second. She looked at me, then at Max, almost to be sure it was not just a joke, then opened up with a really sweet smile and said with a tone of sincere affection: "Pleased to meet you, Edoardo and Massimiliano, really pleased."
Well, I can tell you that I liked Teresa at once, if not for any other reason than for the simplicity in which she accepted us as a couple. But what really pleased me was that Giovanni, having to introduce Max, didn't find any more a fitting term than saying that he was his brother in law. This just meant that inside himself he had fully accepted our union. Both him and his wife showed that to us on many occasions.
Lucia's husband however, even though he knew about us, and was always really gentle and correct, seemed to prefer not to think of us as a couple, but just as two close friends. This was clearly shown in his introductions. When he introduced Max to somebody, he used to say: "And this is the duke Massimiliano Faletti di San Salva, a dear family friend..."
In 1981, business at the shop started to go well. But above all, this was a very important year because we became acquainted with the President of the Juvenile Tribunal, Ottavio, and his wife. They were Giovanni's friends, or to be more precise, Ottavio's wife was one of the closest and intimate friends of Teresa. We met them at Giovanni's home at a party they held for the christening of their first son, in November 1981. As usual, Giovanni introduced us and his brother and his brother in law.
Ottavio, who was sitting near us, struck up a conversation with Max and I, and with some caution, plainly asked us: "You are the first gay couple I have ever met. Does it bother you if we talk about that?"
"Not at all... please..." Max answered after looking at me and seeing my quiet smile.
So we talked. We talked about us, about our lives, but also about his and our work. Before the end of that party, Ottavio and his wife invited us to supper at their home the following week. That was the start of our friendship with Ottavio and his wife, and one of the most determining factors in our lives - of Max', mine, and yours, my dear Eugenio.
We could never have dreamed that thanks to that meeting we would have the joy of one day meeting you. Ottavio, overcame his first, natural curiosity, welcomed us with real friendship and, as he showed us later, with real and deep esteem.
1982 was a year of important changes and events. The first was the death of the duchess.
A telephone call in the dead of night awoke us. It was her butler, Roberto, informing Max that the duchess had suddenly gone into a coma. The doctor was already there. Roberto told us that the duchess told him to call us - both of us. We dressed and raced to the mansion, but by the time we arrived, the duchess had died. It was February the 14th 1982. I don't know if it was more me comforting Max, or him comforting me. We were both grief-stricken. The following morning, Stefania and Laura arrived. During the course of the day other relatives and friends trickled in. Max, as the new head of the household, did the 'honours', and he wanted me at his side. It was an exhausting ordeal.
When we arrived that night, besides the doctor being present, there was also Father Enrico, the Franciscan friar, confessor of the duchess, and all the house staff. The doctor told us that she passed away peacefully, without any suffering. Father Enrico took us aside for a moment and told us that the duchess asked him to call both of us. Then, afraid we would not arrive in time to find her alive or even lucid charged him to ask us to forgive her for not playing a more active role in our lives.
"I am just an old, stupid, stubborn woman. My poor boys, with all they have had to suffer. Tell them that from up there I will pray to our Lord to bless and protect them. Tell them that I always loved them, even if I had not been able to show it. Ask them to forgive me, Father. I hope that our Lord will forgive me, as I was not able to welcome them, to understand them... but that on the threshold of my encounter with our Sister the Death, my eyes at last have been opened... I have been just a stupid, stubborn, old woman..."
These were the words that Father Enrico conveyed to us.
When at last the funeral ceremonies were completed, we received word to go to see the duchess' lawyer - both of us. Besides us, there were only Stefania and Laura invited. The notary opened grandma's Will in our presence and read it. In short, she left the mansion and her estate in France to the two sisters, and the castle with the surrounding estate to Max. To me she left a conspicuous legacy of money. All the formalities being completed, Max just asked his sisters to allow him to take some souvenirs from the mansion. What hit me in the duchess' Will was not so much the big legacy in my favour, but the words that accompanied it.
"To my dear Edoardo - first of all I have to say to him thank you for all the love he is giving to my Massimiliano. Please continue to stay near to him and love him, as, now that I have left this world, he has just you to care for him..."
Max and I were really, deeply moved and were not able to hold back our tears. Stefania, on this occasion, was rather formal. In stark contrast, Laura behaved with affection towards us, even if I could feel she was slightly embarrassed towards me.
To Max, the sudden death of his grandmother was a shock from which he took a very long time to recover. When at last he felt able, we had to take care of the castle. Of course Max wanted to keep it, but the problem were great, because of taxes and maintenance costs. After asking some experts, we decided to sell all the land still pertaining to the castle, and to keep just the castle with the park surrounding it. We invested the capital earned by the sale, together with the legacy I received, so that, just with its annual interest we could pay all the castle expenses without any problems.
Then, we restored all the rooms and replaced the fittings and facilities. Max chose the most beautiful and fitting furniture, to leave there and use in the different ambiences, and sold all the rest (and there was really a huge quantity), at the shop. All this work absorbed us very much and took almost two years. At the end though, the castle was completely restored and coming back to new life. It really was, or better it is, a real wonder. But above all, this helped him to recover from the grief of the death of the duchess. The park, of course, included the clearing with grandmother's oak. Under it he placed a circle of benches so we could sit there at times and feel her presence.
Another idea to pay the castles high costs and taxes, came from Paolo and his lover. In the castle stable, we could start breeding racehorses and open, in one part of the park near the stables, a riding and training field, a manege. We decided to do it only if Paolo and Giampiero, his lover, agreed to manage it. They accepted, left their jobs and we gave them an apartment inside the castle. Paolo's mother, the Nene, now widowed, continued to live at the castle along with Guido and his wife Valeria, and Paolo's brother with his wife Gina. Almost certainly, the castle staff at this point understood about Paolo and Giampi, as well as about Max and me, but it was never a problem.
By 1984 the castle was completely in order. Max' business was flourishing and I too had started to work on my own as an interior designer. For modern designs I did the work myself, and for the ancient ones I worked with the precious assistance of Max. The manege and the breeding programme were starting to give their first fruits and the first satisfactions, and with Paolo and Giampi was flourishing a nice friendship.
And here, you come in.
In March Ottavio phoned and invited us to his home for supper. After supper, as always, we went into the lounge. While Maddalena put their children to bed, telling that she would join us a little later, Ottavio remained to chat with us. After the children kissed us good night and went to the second floor with their mother, Ottavio told us that he had invited us for a specific reason.
"I would like to ask you some questions, if you don't mind, about your relationship..."
He never again faced that subject with us in a so direct a way, after that first time we met, and we were somewhat surprised, but mainly because of the friendship he always showed us, we accepted.
"You've been living together for about ten-years now, right?"
"Yes, exactly ten years. But we fell in love a little less than twelve years ago. Then, the disappearance of Edoardo, as you already know..."
"Certainly. And in all these years, you've never had a quarrel?"
"No, never. It is impossible to fight with Max!"
"Well we've had some moments of tension, but we love each other, and so we always overcome them. Afterwards, we loved each other even more and better than before, you know how it happens, right? But real fights, never." Max confirmed.
"More and better than before? Why?" Ottavio asked.
"Because we know each other a little better and we accept each other more and more for what we really are and not for an ideal image we build inside ourselves." I answered.
"Therefore, I presume that you also have a healthy sex life..."
"Certainly yes. We could perhaps slow down a little the rhythm, but it is always beautiful, gratifying. The sexual act remains the best way we have to express our love for each other, as it should be for any couple, I guess." Max said.
Ottavio nodded in assent, with a smile, than said: "And... have you ever cheated on each other, in all these years? If you don't want to answer, of course..."
"No, never, none of us." I said.
"Yes, I did..." Max corrected me. We looked at each other and I smiled. So we told Ottavio the adventure of Max with Luca.
Then I concluded: "But I don't feel cheated, and when I answered no, I was completely sincere."
"And I, unless I start one day to be off my head, I have absolutely no intention to let it happen again." Max added.
"Are you happy being gay?"
"Yes." we answered at the unison.
And Max added: "Otherwise, I would not have my Edoardo."
"One of you two is... how to say... the husband?"
"No, or to better say, we both are. We both are males, there is no wife between us. We love each other because we are both men." Max answered while I was nodding.
"Not even in the house management, or in the decisions you take?" Maddalena, who meanwhile had returned and joined us, asked.
"No, not even that. Each of us, seeing who has more time, and what is to be done, does what is necessary for our home. And about the decisions, we always take them together. It comes spontaneously, as nowadays we don't any more think in terms of 'I' but of 'us'." I answered taking Max hand between mine.
"Do you have more gay or not gay friends?" Maddalena asked.
"I think more or less half and half, right Edoardo? But we never really minded it, we have never thought about it. We don't have that problem."
"Have you ever desired to have a child?" Ottavio asked.
"Max did, and very much. And on reflex I too, because I know he would be glad. But unhappily..."
Ottavio nodded and seemed satisfied. He and Maddalena asked us something more, then, at the end, he stood up, took a file and pulled out a picture he handed us.
It was of an adolescent boy, with dark blond and curly hair and light hazelnut eyes. He was handsome with a rather serious and hard expression on his face. We looked at the picture, and then looked at Ottavio, without understanding.
Ottavio told us: "The boy's name is Eugenio Raveri. He is fourteen-and-half years old. Now he is in a reformatory. He is a difficult boy, but in my opinion, positive. In order to prevent him from becoming a bad lot, we have to get him out of there. I have to find him a family as soon as possible. So, I thought to ask you two if you would like to try, to take him into your custody, at least until his coming of age."
"Our custody? We two? But... to a gay couple?" I asked unbelieving and amazed.
"Officially, for our actual law, custody can be given to only one person, but practicably the responsibility will be on you both. And it is because you are gay that I'm asking to you. The boy also is gay."
"Gay? How is it possible to know that at fourteen one is gay? I needed years to understand I was, to accept I was one!" Max said.
"But I, at fourteen, already and certainly knew I was." I said.
So, Ottavio told us your story, dear Eugenio. How you were abandoned at four and lived for three years in an orphanage. He told us the first adoption and your flees, your first period in the reformatory when you were just ten years old. Your relationship with a warden when you were twelve and, when you were caught and the warden being taken away, dismissed and prosecuted. He told us about how you took revenge by having sex with almost all the other boys in the reformatory, and without hiding it. About how, at thirteen, you were entrusted to a couple without children. Then just three months before that day, how you ran away from their home. When the police found you, you insisted that you would rather go back in the reformatory than back with those people again.
"I believe you are his last hope. You certainly are the only people who can understand him and that he can feel near to. You are a really balanced and healthy couple and you can help him to grow up in a fine way and to live serenely and in a honest way his life and sexuality."
"Aren't you afraid we could take him to our bed?" Max asked with an almost challenging smile.
"No, I don't think so. But, if even you did that, I am sure that you would do it for the best, and not to take advantage of the boy. The risk, anyway, exists in any adoption or custody entrustment, with any couple. But I really believe you will not do that." Ottavio said, quietly smiling.
"But, if he refuses us also?" I then asked.
"I really hope that doesn't happen. But if it does, I have no other option than to order that he be again confined to the reformatory until he is eighteen years of age. That would really be a pity. The boy has no criminal record - not larceny, not prostitution, no drugs, nothing at all. But where he is now, in contact with the other boys, I'm afraid it will not be too long before he commits illegal or immoral acts. You two are his last hope, I think."
We asked him to give us some days to think about it. With Max, on the following days, we discussed the matter in detail - we both wanted to try, but we didn't want to take a such an important step, for you and for us, without having thoroughly considered the idea and implications. In the end, we decided for the 'yes'.
The only one problem was our small apartment, which was barely big enough for two. So we decided to immediately look for a bigger one where you could have your own room, and we communicated to Ottavio our decision, asking him just to wait until we were settled. Ottavio told us that he would at once start the procedures and that, meanwhile, it would be good if we started to meet with you, to get to know you and you to know us, to see if you would accept to try to live with us.
So, we arrived at the 'Observation House'. I remember my first impression when I saw you - you were a handsome boy and if I didn't know your age, I could even have thought you were seventeen. But what hit me the most was the hardness in your eyes. Ottavio told you that he was thinking of placing you in our care, then left us alone with you.