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(gay/relationships)
Lance and Philip
Chapter 4
Lance has just left Kevin’s apartment. He is ambling along the sidewalk and finds that he is feeling quite heavy-hearted. He needs to sit down and take a rest. He finds a seat in City Central Square, by the Post Office. It is now just after 5.30 p.m. Unbeknownst to Lance, Philip has a contract job at a nearby travel business. A few minutes after Lance had sat down, Philip was on his regular walk to the bus stop, after work. Philip was thinking about the flavour of crisps and type of juice he would buy from the cafe adjacent to the bus stop, sp he was a little pre-occupied. He, therefore, walked a few steps past the square, but then his peripheral vision kicked in, and he said to himself, “That was Lance.: Philip had not heard from Lance for nearly a week; Philip hesitated a little about greeting Lance in the street as he had promised a long time ago, at the time of the clumsy approach, to not embarrass Lance in public, by approaching him. Philip thought, to himself, though, I need to fix up that last chat, and he does seem to be on his own. Accordingly, he turned around and retraced his steps. Lance was shrill sitting, there, head bowed a little. This was not the Lance that Kevin was used to. Lance always seemed very confident of himself, when he was younger one might have said cocky, but now he was over 25 he had developed a level of self-assuredness, which Philip had found very pleasing. Today Lance was slumped in the park bench, and he looked a little distraught. Philip decided he must take the next steps very carefully,
Philip purposely took a small detour, which had him coming up behind Lance. Philip sat down on the same bench as Lance, but at some distance, hoping that Lance would, in the instinctive self-defence manner of the human being, look across to see who had sat on the bench. To Lance’s great surprise he saw that the newcomer was Philip. “Hello, Philip, what are you doing here?” “I work four days a week just nearby and I was just heading home, when I saw you out of the corner of my eye. I hesitated to interrupt but I saw you were alone and I have been feeling a bit troubled about our last chat. When I came closer you seemed to not be your usual confident self, so I purposely came up behind you and sat down here, hoping that you would turn and see me, which is exactly what you did. Are you OK?” “I.m not really, could we go somewhere have a chat, please?” “Of course, Lance, where would you like to go?” “There’s a really quiet Indian Restaurant, just around the corner, with some quite secluded booths, particularly the one in the back corner. I seem to recall you like Indian.” “I do, Lance, let’s go.”
Lance and Philip walked down the street together. They looked like any other two guys heading off for an after-work drink, but they both knew this chance encounter was something different. A few minutes later they arrived at the Royal Mahal Restaurant. The back corner booth was free and Lance headed straight there. Their combined order was a mixed platter of entrees including Chicken Tikka, Lamb Pakora, Samosas, and Aloo Bondas. The main courses were Lamb Biryani, Chicken Tandoori, Beef Vindaloo, Goat Korma, and Lamb Rogan Josh. Saffron Rice, Keema Naan, Roti and Mango Lassi drinks (2 each) rounded off their order.
Philip felt the urgent need to apologise, “Lance, I am very, very sorry for the way that I responded to what you told me last Wednesday. Both incidents had clearly disturbed you and you were hurting deep down, I did not respond appropriately and all I can now do is seek to be whatever kind of friend you want me to be, whenever and wherever that may be. Please accept my apology.” “Pip, something has happened today that has given me both pleasure but also some distress.” Pip just kept his close gaze on Lance, but, for now, said nothing, he just wanted to give his full attention to his friend, whilst allowing him to speak at his own pace. “I met Kevin earlier today. It was his day off and we went back to his place. He slowly but gently, in a very kind way, introduced me to real gay love-making. We did many things, and I enjoyed them all. At the end, while we were having afternoon tea, he said he wanted to see me again, but, when I told him I had enjoyed the afternoon and would like him to become my steady boyfriend, he said that he was not ready to go steady with just one guy. I left virtually immediately feeling used and very sad. I like the sexual activity and I think I might be willing to live with a guy but I certainly don’t want to be someone who has sex with loads of different guys, like that Brian on Queer as Folk; I related more to Michael, Justin, and Ted who were all looking for one steady relationship. That is what I want.”
Philip replied, “I applaud your desire, that is exactly what I am also seeking. I am glad that you enjoyed this afternoon but I also empathise greatly with your disappointment. Do you know, Lance, there has only ever been two people, before you, that I have truly loved. One was a high school crush that went nowhere; he never even knew how I felt about him and the second knew, but he made it clear he was straight. I fell in love with you four years ago and I know that was not requited by you, but that love, on my part, has never faded.” “I think, Philip, it was just that you did what you did at the wrong time and I was too young. OK, I was not a boy, but, at 21, I was not ready to be the boyfriend of somebody 25½ years older than me. Now only four years on, I am beginning to wonder about my future: whether I want a wife, or a partner; where do I want to settle down; what might my life look like in another 25 year’s time. This afternoon has been a bit of a tipping point. It was only a few hours but it has made me begin to think quite deeply.”
“While my experience has been somewhat different to yours, I can, I think, relate to some of your dilemmas. When I was your age, I had a steady job, but I also knew I was gay. Having been brought up in a church family, I was very closeted and was so closeted, at least to church and family, until I met you four years ago. I also was living, in England, where I was born, of American parents. My parents had moved there soon after their marriage and I only came to America just six years before I met you. When I was 25, the AIDS crisis was raging and, though I lived on my own, in a small flat, on the outskirts of London, I was too afraid to go into the gay bars and cafes in central London. I had some printed pornography, but that was all I could use for release. Eventually both my parents died and I felt able to come to where my ancestors had grown up. Here I have met a few guys casually, through H4M, but nothing serious, nobody who has even slept the night with me. You then came along and everything, at least in my heart, changed. I was quite broken-hearted when you said no, and I tried to move on, but my memories of your beauty always came to the service very readily. As you hopefully realise, when you contacted me, a few months back you invigorated me, immediately, just by the simple fact of you emailing me.”
“Of course, we both know what has happened since, and all I can say is my heart and arms are still open to you, and they always will be.” Lance simply nodded, he was still not sure of his feelings. They both got into eating and few words were exchanged, for nearly half an hour, just the pleasantries of passing food; there was quite an array in front of the two men. Eventually, Lance spoke again, “I want to take it slow, Pip, maybe the first step is for us to exchange mobile numbers, mine is 715-287-1789.” Pip said, “Mine is 534-178-9028.” They entered each other’s numbers in their contacts lists. Some Gulab Jamen, and Sandesh, were ordered for dessert; 2½ hours after they had arrived, the two, now better, friends left, each carrying a small takeaway bag. As they were heading back to the central bus terminus, where they would, for now, go their separate ways, they found themselves in a quiet, poorly lit lane, just a short distance from the terminus. Much to Pip’s delight, and major surprise, Lance suddenly put his arms around Pip and gave him a very strong hug, during which he kissed Pip on the cheek, which Pip, of course, reciprocated. They stayed like this for nearly five minutes; they then heard footsteps and broke the embrace. Once they were in the terminus, Lance noticed that his next bus was leaving in just two minutes, so he said, “I’ll call you, might not be for a few days, but I will call you.” Lance then ran down the escalator to his bus, which he caught with just 30 seconds to spare. Pip was in mild shock, and thought to himself, “What just happened, have I found a real boyfriend at last?” He went to his bus stop and took the long ride home, whilst pondering deeply on the evening’s events.
For the next few days, Pip kept on looking at his phone; had me missed a call, had Lance changed his mind, Pip was fretting and his mind was racing. At about 2.30 on Saturday afternoon, his mobile rang and the display showed Lance. He answered the phone eagerly, “Hello Lance, lovely to hear from you.” “Can we meet, not your place like last time, but somewhere ordinary, maybe the cinema, Superman Returns is on at the City Cinemas. There’s a session at 4.30, can you make it?” “Of course, Lance, but I’ll have to get going now, to make it, see you there, sweetest.” At just before 4.20 these two budding partners met in the cinema lobby. They bought their tickets, went in and took their seats up the back. There were a few straight couples there also, but the boys found a spot, which they were both comfortable with, in the back row at the right-hand side of the cinema. Pip offered his hand to Lance and he smoothly took it. They watched the film in silence, but both, inside, were deeply enjoying this, their first real date. A little after 7.00 p.m. the guys were back out on the sidewalk. Pip said, “Would you like to go the Texas Steakhouse for dinner, my treat?” Lance said, “Thank you, Pip, I would enjoy that.”
The restaurant was quite busy; it was a Saturday evening, but they were still able to get a table for two, in the back corner, near the kitchen. They ordered some Spicy Chicken Bites and Texas Tonion for the appetizers; New York Strips for mains with side salads and fries; Chocolate Stampedes were their desserts. Lance opened the conversation, “Pip, I have been thinking deeply over the last few days and in many ways, I am finding it very to understand what has overcome over me. Nobody, not even my girlfriend of two years, has ever flattered, and pampered me, like you have over the last fortnight. Nobody, not even my parents, has ever expressed the depth of love for me, as you find me, in the way you have. I don’t know what you see in me, I’m really just an ordinary guy, but I’m touched by what you feel. You live quite a way out of town, so I’m not sure, yet, that I’m ready to move in full time but maybe I could come down Friday nights and go back home late on Sunday. We could test the waters, so to say, see if we really are compatible, or whether this is just another fling,”
Pip replied, in a mildly grave tone, “Well, Lance, it would be no fling, so far as I am concerned. My door is open to you anytime, day or night, forever.” Lance responded, “OK, Pip, I’ll be at your place at 6.00 p.m. on Friday, let’s now enjoy these lovely steaks.” The meal proceeded with some small talk and 2 hours later they walked to the bus terminus, engaged in an even more eager hug and kiss, this time on the lips, and went to their separate homes. The following week saw Pip doing more housework than he had done in months. He wanted the house to look spick and span, for his very special love,
At 6.30, p.m. on Friday, Lance arrived. There was no fake Adfam this time, Lance said, “Well, here I am darling, I hope you missed me.” “Of course, I did, you silly boy. Put your case down. Come here and let me greet you properly.” Pip took his dreamboat into his arms and french-kissed him deeply, there was no resistance this time. This was hopefully the beginning of a long life journey together.
To be continued
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