Date: Sat, 11 Jan 2003 13:20:40 EST
From: JuilianJ@aol.com
Subject: the story of us part 7

THE STORY OF US
BY: Julien

This story is 100% fictional and is by no means depictive of the life of
any person, place or thing.  It contains sexual activities between males
and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area.  Read at your
own risk and enjoy.  Comments are welcomed and would be very much
appreciated.  ENJOY!

There will be many flashback sequences in this story so as not to confuse
anyone, when a flashback takes place, there will be an asterisk (*) before
the start of that flashback.

So the relationship between Jack and I didn't work out but at least I had
someone I connected with on a different level.  He was my confidante,
someone other than Michael that I could relate to, someone who knew and
understood what I was going through, someone that I could joke around with
while at the same time, be dependent on to be serious when I needed it.
Jack was for me what Bobby once was and I was grateful to have him.  He did
eventually make up with his boyfriend and had moved back in with him but
started to spend a lot of time with me, something that seemed lost on his
boyfriend.  Jack had told me that they had fought about his relationship
with me on more than one occasion but that he was not about to give anyone
that leverage over him, the power to choose who his friends were.  And I
had to admit that I was happy to hear that he was fighting for our
friendship.

We barley knew each other but still he was already making me apart of his
life.  And even though I was satisfied with being with Jack as a friend, I
had to admit that I missed that intimacy that a relationship could provide.
I missed being held, being cuddled and being comforted after lovemaking and
the sweet nothings that usually followed.  I missed having a pair of arms
encircle me after the heat had gone down and it was just two lovers in an
embrace.  I missed it all.  Of course with all that was going on in my life
at the time, I had no time to date but that didn't stop the longing.

We had finally settled the contract suit out of court.  Laurence's friend
had negotiated the buy out at only 25 grande, something that Ernie had
turned down but to all our surprises had changed his mind and accepted.
Greg also agreed to pay Ernie another 25 grande to get lost, something that
he greedily snatched up.  In the meantime the new single that Bobby and
Diane had collaborated on had debut at #1 on the charts and had been there
for six weeks and counting.  Diane was very pleased with the outcome of the
song and had made it clear that she wanted to work with Bobby again but I
began to suspect that I had missed something.  That night before her
meeting with the press I had asked her about it.

"Does something look wrong?"  Her smile seemed as fake as her cheery
attitude.

"Yes, something looks wrong.  You know you can tell me anything Diane, you
know that.  If you don't want to do this interview right now I can go out
and tell the press..."

"Do you think I'm attractive Richie?  I mean I know you're gay but..."

"Yes, I think you're very attractive Diane.  You're beautiful.  Is that
what's been bothering you?"

"Yes and No.  I mean after I recorded that song with Bobby I started to
have feelings for him.  I mean the man is FINE but when I tried to come on
to him he told me that I wasn't his type.  Can you believe that?  Bobby
Knight says that I'm not his type."

I could see that being rejected by him had dealt a major blow to her ego.

"Just because Bobby Knight is not interested in you, doesn't mean anything.
You are a beautiful girl with a beautiful voice and you're young.  There
are so many men out there that would practically fall all over themselves
just to be with you."

"You think so?"

"Yes."  And it seemed that my little talk with her had boosted her
confidence for she was like a pro with the press, answering questions
without looking to me for reassurance.  And after it all she had kissed me
smack dab on the lips and told me thanks.  Needless to say I was flattered.

Even Laurence had commented on her upbeat mood.

"You make that young lady happy Richie, you make her very happy."

"I'm just glad to do my job."

"And I'm glad you say that because I have an assignment for you."

"What?"

"I've been hearing a rumor that Bobby Knight is about to drop his manager
for good."

"Ok..."

"And I heard a rumor that he's going to need someone to replace him.  Also,
I hear he's going to need a good publicist to get back his reputation."

"Laurence..." I started and stopped as he held up his hand.

"Let me finish.  He's going to need a good publicist to get back his
reputation and he specifically asked for you.  He's agreeing to anything
you want Richie, anything!  This is a rare opportunity."

"And I'm not interested."  Did he honestly think that I would just agree to
take on this assignment like nothing had happened?

"Come on Richie!  This is a golden opportunity for both of us and it will
be good for Diane's' career."

"And you can take him on as your client but I won't."  And as I walked out,
I wondered if my decision was a hasty one.

Apparently everyone else thought it was.  From Michael to Jack to Diane to
the press was weighing in and the vote was unanimous, everyone seemed to
think I was making a mistake by turning my back on this.

"Are you crazy Richie?  You have a chance to set the stage for anything you
want and you don't want to take it?"

"Exactly.  He thinks he can give me a few bucks and that'll make everything
go away: No fucking way!  And I'm surprised that you of all people would be
jumping on this bandwagon Harry.  What happened to 'sticking to our own
kind'." I mimicked.

"I shouldn't have said that and I don't feel that way Richie but isn't this
what you wanted, Bobby on his knees begging for you to come back?"

"Not like this!  Why does everything have to be about money?"

"What the hell do you want then?"  And it seemed that at that moment every
emotion and every feeling that I was experiencing came crashing down and I
broke down right there in front of my brother.

He held me as I cried and told me to do what I had to do.

"It was never about the money Harry.  It was about our friendship."  And as
I kept repeating this over and over he kept reassuring me that whatever I
decided to do he would be behind me all the way.


Needless to say I decided to at least see what the offer was all about
before making my final decision.  There was to be a meeting at Laurence's'
office at 3pm this afternoon and as I waited I racked my mind for things to
say, things that I needed to say, things that needed to be said.

Surprisingly Laurence was late and I was left waiting by myself until I
heard the door open behind me.

"Damn Laurence, you're late and that idiot is not even gonna show."

"Well the idiot is here."  I stopped breathing for what seemed like a
minute but in reality was only a few seconds and turned to look into the
eyes of someone that I tried so hard to get over.  I looked into the eyes
of my one time best friend and confidante and felt my legs go from flesh
and bones to rubber.

I didn't answer him but instead turned back around to stare at the view
outside.  I heard him sigh behind me, something I was very familiar with.

"So have you thought about my offer?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

It was as if all these things that I had wanted to say to him just came out
in that one simple sentence, "Fuck you and your offer!"

And I tried to get up and walk out only to be barracked in by his body
blocking the door.

"What the fuck are you doing?"  I asked getting ready to fight if I were
pushed to it.

"We gotta talk."

"I have nothing to say to your ass Robert."  I stated calling him by his
first name, something that usually irritated him but not today.

"Why you doing this?"

"Excuse me!"

"Why you doing this?  Acting like this?  I'm trying to clear the air and
all you want to do is run.  Just let me say what I have to say and then you
can leave."

"And why should I even listen to a God damn word you have to say?"  And the
question seemed to hit a nerve with him.

"Because you were my fucking best friend and I want that back!"  I had
never heard him sound so emotional and I swore that I would not let this
act get to me.

"Well you can't have everything you want.  That ship has long passed you by
and you have absolutely no fucking right to be asking for it to turn back
around for you."

He stood in front of the door and looked straight at me not breaking our
eye contact break.

"I made a mistake Richie, a big fucking mistake and I want, I need you to
forgive me."

"Why?  Why should I give a damn about anything you say now?  You think I'm
some stupid white boy that you can take advantage of when you feel like
it?"

"I never said that."

"No, but you definitely don't have a problem showing it.  Now tell me why I
should give you the fucking time of day?  Why should I waste my time and
energy and friendship on you?"

"Because I'm begging you to.  I was wrong man, so fucking wrong and I've
regretted every fucking minute of it."

"So I supposed you sued me because you care so damn much about me huh?  You
think I'm blind Bobby?  The only fucking reason you're here is because your
'manager' fucked up.  His little scheme backfired and your shit is going
out the window.  Isn't that why you're here?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"There is nothing you can say just get out of my way."

"We were friends."

"Exactly, precisely, we were friends and right now that don't mean shit to
me."

He broke his eye contact with me and threw his hands up into the air, "I
let the fame and the money get to me Richie, I let Ernie and the rest of
them manipulate me into thinking that...I messed up and I'm begging you to
please...please Richie I want us to go back to the way things were, before
all of this."  And even though he was saying everything that I had ever
wanted him to say, I couldn't bring myself to do what I knew I wanted to
do.

Instead I made him an offer that left little room for negotiation, "listen
to me and listen to me good ok because this is the first and last time I'll
be saying this.  I expect to be paid the same amount of money as I get paid
from Diane and I expect the same degree of respect from you as I'd expect
from Diane and if you fucking make me regret taking you on as a client I
swear to God as my witness I will make you regret it.  And just because I'm
doing this it doesn't mean shit to me.  We're not friends here, it's a
totally professional thing and I expect you to treat it as such."

He looked at me as if he were seeing me for the first time but agreed to
all my demands, no questions asked and by the time Greg showed up at four,
we had everything worked out.  And while he and Greg talked in hushed
tones, I walked out making sure to not look back because If I did, I might
have just change my mind.

  
Three weeks had gone by since our new arrangement and things to my surprise
had been working out quite smoothly.  Slowly but surely Bobby was regaining
his positive persona and his thug living was quietly making an exit.  I had
to admit that sometimes I felt myself drawn to him, drawn to the way that
he was and I would have to give myself a mental kick for going down that
route but other than those few times, I managed to keep things on a
professional level.  The same though could not be said for Bobby who seemed
to take every presented opportunity to try and 'sweet talk' me into
believing that we could still be friends.  Just the other day we had both
ended up in the same small conference room watching another Michael Jackson
scandal unfold (yes folks, the one with the baby!).  I hadn't even heard
him come in and if it weren't for him clearing his throat, I would have
been oblivious to his presence.  I had turned around and had felt my face
get hot at the sight of him.

"Damn, the press just won't leave the brotha alone.  The man can't even get
a moments peace."  I had turned to look at him, not at all surprised at his
words for if anyone knew how relentless the press was, it was him.

"They're just doing their job."  I retorted turning around and giving my
full attention back to the television.

"Fuck that!  All they do is find another way to fuck over another
celebrity.  Today its' Michael, tomorrow it's God knows who.  They just
need to mind their own goddamn business sometimes."

"If it weren't for the press Michael wouldn't be where he is today."

"Yeah and if it weren't for the press you..." he brought his words to a
halt but the general idea of what he was about to say was already there,
even if unspoken.

"What, if it weren't for the press what?"

"Nothing!  I just don't know how you can be all for the press after what
they did to you."

I turned off the TV and turned to him.  "The press didn't do anything to me
except do what they're paid to do.  They weren't the ones to fuck me over."

"Maybe not but they were partially responsible for the aftermath."

"What, you and Greg kicking me to the curb like all my work was less than
shit.  You can tell yourself that all you want Bobby but the press wasn't
responsible for any of that."

And before he could pipe in, I continued.  If Bobby Knight wanted the
truth, he was damn well going to get it.

"You were the one that made the decision to fire me, not the press so be
man enough to put blame where it belongs."

"So it's my fault, all the shit that went down?"

"Hell yeah!  You chose money and your career over our supposed friendship.
I've been standing by you from the get go and as soon as that contract was
signed, it was like you didn't need me anymore.  Well all I have to say to
that is thanks for nothing."

"You think that's how it was?  You think that's really how it went down?"

"You haven't given me any reason to think differently."

"Let me tell you something Richie, it was a fucking hard decision to make
when I let you go ok.  And in hindsight I see that it was the fucking wrong
decision to make and if I could have taken it back I would."

"And I supposed now you think I should tell you everything is ok now that
you realize the err of your way."

"No I don't expect that but I would like a chance to make it up to you."

"Well you can forget about it.  We're not friends anymore and we'll never
be friends ever again."

"Richie."

"NO!  I don't need friends like you trying to screw me at every
opportunity.  You already proved your worth as a friend and I have to say
you can keep your friendship.  Better yet, why not get Ernie to be your
friend.  You two seemed to have that 'black' bond thing going on."

"Fuck you Richie!  What's with you and this black and white shit?"

"Fuck you!  You're the one that made it clear that this race shit does
matter, isn't that why you let your cronies fuck with me so much?  A matter
of a fact don't answer that, I don't want to know.  The bottom line is that
whatever you hoped we could have I'm not interested in it and I'm not
interested in you and if you keep pushing it, you're going to have to find
a new publicist."

And I had got up and walked out.  I was so mad, so upset at him for trying
to put his shit, his mess on everyone else except where it belonged, on
him.  But that day was long gone and I wasn't going to devote any more
time, energy and memory to it.

And even though that was what I told myself, it wasn't what I ended up
doing.  Instead I found myself thinking about that day, that conversation
and analyzing Bobbys' own words.  I wasn't ready to conceive to my own
alter ego that I was yearning for what he was offering so I kept on giving
myself excuses for why it wasn't worth resuming a friendship with him but
even that couldn't convince me beyond a reasonable doubt.  I thought of
Bobby morning, noon and night, when I was in the shower, eating breakfast
and even when I was doing nothing.  And it was during one of those
'nothing' periods of time that I came to one conclusion and one conclusion
only: I loved him.  It was a strange feeling and even a stranger
realization that I could never, would never allow this to ever come to pass
or be known by him or anyone else for I knew that it was far better for me
to love him and not tell him than for me to tell him and have him reject me
like how he had done in the past.  And I knew if the choice had to be made
between his music and me, his music would be the only choice.


And that realization made it somewhat easier for me to get through a day
with him.  Just the thought that a relationship would be the only viable
option for me kept me at bay.  It was now a matter of all or nothing and if
I couldn't have Bobby as my lover, I didn't want him.

CHAPTER 7 NOW COMPLETE WHICH LEAVES THE EIGHTH AND FINAL CHAPTER.  I
ENJOYED WRITING THIS A LOT AND READING EMAILS ABOUT IT AND I DO ENCOURAGE
YOU TO CONTINUE EMAILING AND LETTING ME KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE/DISLIKE ABOUT
THIS AND MY OTHER STORIES.  ALL EMAILS ARE ANSWERED AND ARE ALWAYS
WELCOMED.