Date: Mon, 13 Jan 2003 14:10:06 EST
From: JuilianJ@aol.com
Subject: THE STORY OF US PART 8A

THE STORY OF US
BY: Julien

This story is 100% fictional and is by no means depictive of the life of
any person, place or thing.  It contains sexual activities between males
and should only be read if it is legal to do so in your area.  Read at your
own risk and enjoy.  Comments are welcomed and would be very much
appreciated.  ENJOY!  There will be many flashback sequences in this story
so as not to confuse anyone, when a flashback takes place, there will be an
asterisk (*) before the start of that flashback.

"You remember the day I signed the contract with Greg."  I looked up from
the pictures that I had been examining and looked at him.

"What?"

"The day I signed the contract with Greg, you remember that?"

"Yeah, it was colder than a mutha."  He laughed and came around and stood
beside me.

"Yeah!  And remember what happened before we got to his office?"

"Yeah.  We got splashed by some idiot in a BMW that took the corner too
fast."

"And?"

"And it turned out to be Greg."  That got him to laugh out loud and me to
break into a smile.

"Man, I've been remembering some off the wall stuff like that for no reason
whatsoever."  I didn't know if he expected an answer or not so I kept
quiet.

"I miss those days Ritchie.  Back then, things were so damn simple.  Music
was music but now, the amount of shit we have to go through just to make
it, it's hard man."

"Yeah but that's the sacrifices you have to make if you want to be a star."

'And why should you be complaining, after all, all of your albums have gone
platinum and you have at least three songs on the charts right now.' I
couldn't help but think to myself.

"Yeah but lately it's like I've been wondering if it's worth it."  I
stopped what I was doing and looked up.

"Bobby you wouldn't be happy if you stopped singing and writing.  Ever
since I've known you, you've been all about the music.  Its your life, your
whole life."

"Yeah and that's the problem."  I didn't know what he was getting after but
I damn well wanted to find out.

"What's the matter?  You've been doing this for the past five years and
you're not sure if you want it?"

"I don't know anymore Richie.  All these sacrifices that I've had to make,
all the friends that I've had to step over and on, all the shit I had to go
through and..."

"And you made it despite all that shit.  You've come this far and you want
to just give it up?"  He looked at me, a look of shock on his face.  I even
surprised myself by saying that.

"I guess you're right.  I've just been thinking that..."

"What?"

"I don't know man, I'm just, forget it.  What pictures are you going to use
for the album cover?"  He asked quickly changing the subject.

"I was thinking of this one, the ladies would love that fact that you're
half naked on it."  And I turned and winked at him, something that he shook
off as an every day occurrence.  A matter of a fact these last few weeks
there seemed to be an air of familiarity surrounding us.  It was as if we
never separated, never argued, it was if we were back to normal and I had
to keep reminding myself that this was my job, nothing more, nothing less.

"Yeah, the ladies."  He remarked breaking me out of thought.  His voice had
taken on a sullen tone and had me wondering if I had said something wrong.

"You ok Bobby?"  There goes those old feelings again, the need to nurture
him, take care of him.

"Yeah, just make me look good Richie."

"Don't I always do?"  He grinned at me and walked back to his former
position, watching me work.  And as normal as it may have seemed, I
actually enjoyed the man standing there watching over me, like a father or
brother figure or better yet, like a lover.


"You sound too happy.  What the fuck is up?"  Michael had called me all the
way from Hawaii where he was vacationing just to see if I was ok and
strange as it may have seemed, I was actually very glad to hear from him.

"Jealous?"  I asked hoping to get a reaction out of him.

"Not likely sweet heart.  Right now I'm sitting on a sandy beach on a warm
island having a cute cabana boy servicing me."

"Don't you mean serving you?"  I asked trying to hold in a fit of laughter

"No, you heard right."

"You have no shame Michael!"

"Well we all can't be responsible adults Richie.  Speaking of which, why do
you sound so happy.  You get fucked lately."

"None of your goddamn business!"  I replied injecting as much fake
annoyance into it as I could.

"You sly son of a bitch."

"What?"

"What's been happening up there?  Does it have to do with Jack?"

"No."

"Then I know it has to do with only one other person."

"Maybe but really, shouldn't you be getting back to the service, opps, the
servicing."

"Ha, ha, you're a funny son of a bitch Richie."

"It's nothing, can't I be happy without having a reason?"

"With you, that's not a possibility.  Now tell uncle Michael what
Mr. Knight has done to make you so fucking cheery."

I didn't know what to tell him.  It wasn't anything in particular that
Bobby said or did that made me feel the way I felt, it was just him being
there, being with me, being around me.

"I don't know what to tell you Michael, I really don't.  I feel, I..."

"You love the son of a bitch don't you?"

"Yeah!  How do you know that?"

"You are so transparent Richie, so transparent.  It's no big surprise to me
and I bet it won't come as a surprise to Bobby either."

"No it won't because I'm not going to tell him a thing."

"And why not?"

"Because he's Bobby!  He's got his career right back and track, why would
he fuck that up for me and besides, Bobby is not..."

"Gay?  How the fuck would you know if you don't ask.  These days you can
never be too sure."

"I was going to say not my type but you said it, he's not gay and even if
he were, which I don't think he is, he's my friend."

"Since when?  Thought the friendship thing wasn't going to work out."  He
said mimicking me.

"Well things change and so does situations.  He's really trying to make it
up to me."

"And I hope you're not making it easy on him."

"You're damn right I'm not but it's hard sometimes.  When I think about all
the shit that we've been through coming up I sometimes feel guilty."

"Not too much though right."

"Yeah, not too much."

"Good.  But back to the subject at hand, you love him don't you?"

"I guess so but."

"But nothing.  Bobby knows you're gay and he's made it obvious that it
doesn't bother him."

"And just because I don't mind cheese on a burger, doesn't mean I like
cheeseburgers."

"Didn't I say you were a comedian."  He stated sternly, "Stop being a wuss
and tell the man face to face how you feel.  The worst that can happen
is..."

"He'll tell me to get the fuck out of his face and he'll never want to
speak to me again!  Just leave things as they are Michael.  I like the way
things are now and I'm not going to throw all of that in the trash on a
whim that may or may not pan out."

"Fine!  But if you don't do this you'll always be wondering what if for the
rest of your life.  You'll look back twenty years from now and say to
yourself 'oh, that could have been the story of us' and you'll want to kick
yourself in the ass and guess what, it won't fucking make one ounce of
difference.  You have this one opp to do something you want to do."

"And thank you for the advice Dr Love but no thanks.  I know what I'm
doing."

"Fine but promise me one thing."

"What."

"Don't close the door on this yet.  Keep an open mind."

"Fair enough, now will you please get back to your vacation and leave me
the hell alone."  I let out a chuckle just to reassure him that it was a
joke.

"Ok, I'll say hi to the Cabana boys' out here for you."

"Please do.  Goodbye Michael."

"Talk to you soon Richie."


And even though I tried, and boy did I try, I couldn't get Michaels' words
out of my head.  What he was saying sounded simple enough but put into
context, it was career as well as personal suicide.  I wasn't like Michael,
I couldn't just do things on impulse.  Not when the risks outweighed the
uncertain reward.  And of course, Bobby wasn't making it any easier for me.
We were back on full throttle, no pretense of being uncertain where our
friendship stood, in other words: Bobby and Richie, the dynamic duo was
back.  And even though that was what I had wanted from the get go of this
whole mess, it wasn't really what I wanted or needed now.  Don't get me
wrong, I'm glad that the Bobby I knew was back but I wasn't just content
with being his comrade or his sidekick.  I wanted more, so much more and
the thought that I had to deal with what I had, made my heart pain.  And
Michaels' words would come into play and present this unattainable option,
this risk that I just couldn't, that I wouldn't take.

And it was during this time of uncertainty that it seemed almost as an
expectation that the shit would hit the fan, AGAIN.  It was during a rare
weekday off, Bobby was with Laurence renegotiating his contract and Diane
was out of town visiting her mother when I got an unexpected visit from
someone I could have gone through the rest of my life not seeing.  How he
knew where I lived was not a mystery as we had worked in a sense together
for more than three years but the simple fact that he had the audacity to
come calling was.

"You have till the count of three to get the hell off of my doorstep before
I call the cops."

"Go right on ahead, I'm sure they'd love to get a hold of what I got to
show them."  And I was at a loss to what he was talking about.

"What the fuck do you want Ernie?"

"Invite me in for a drink and maybe I'll tell you."

"You must be out of your damn mind to think that..."

"Trust me when I say you don't want a lot of people around to see what I
got to show you."

And like my hands had been tied behind my back, I stepped aside and allowed
him to step into my home.

"You have three minutes."

"I'll only need one."  And with that, he reached into his attaché case
and pulled out a manila envelope.

"This is for you."

And as I reached for the envelope, he let it fall from his hands, spilling
unto my floor.  I cursed him under my breath and bent down to pick it up.
The pictures that were enclosed were spilled out unto my floor and as I
glanced at them, I felt the breath in me leave my body slowly.  I was all
of a sudden light headed and had no choice but to take a seat.

"What the hell sort of game are you playing?"  I asked trying to catch my
breath.

"I ain't playing no game.  What you see is what you get.  And what you see
is what everyone else is going to see unless I get what I want."

"That's a fucking lie!  You expect me to believe that..."

"I don't really give a fuck if you believe em' or not.  There it is in
living color."

"You fucking low life, he was supposed to be your friend."

"Save me the drama Nelly.  Business is business and friendship is reusable,
interchangeable and optional, I thought you of all people would know that."

And I couldn't believe that Bobby, my Bobby could have done those things in
those pictures with him.  The thought alone had me rushing towards my
bathroom barely able to make it to the toilet in time.  I heard him in my
kitchen laughing and all I wanted to do was kill him.  My mind began
formulating all sort of plans, ways that I could get rid of him, dispose of
the body, take care of evidence.  But I had to nix that because that wasn't
me.  I flushed the toilet and rinsed out my mouth with Listerine before
making my way back out.

"Bobby wouldn't do that!"  I stated.

"Well he did do that and he did do that with me.  And let me tell you, your
boy sure can fuck."

"NO!  Bobby wouldn't stoop that low, not with you, not..."

"I had your boy so fucking hung up on me I got him to do anything I wanted.
It didn't take shit for him to give me your job Richie.  And to fire you,
damn! he didn't want to but I had to give him a little incentive.  Those
pictures that I took sure did the trick.  He was eating out of the palm of
my hand and he will be again."

"You're fucking nuts!"

"No but you are to think that I would let you get away with stealing my
client from me.  I worked my ass off to get where I'm at and I'm not going
to let a fucking nutcracker like you get in my way."

"And you think I'm gonna help you.  You must be out of your mind..."

"Yes, you're going to do whatever the fuck I tell you to do or else I'm
gonna make sure your boyfriend never sings another fucking note again in
his life.  You'd be surprised how one picture can say a thousand words.  Or
maybe you wouldn't be too surprised."

And then that son of a bitch had the nerve to smirk at me.  He fucking
smirked and I fucking snapped.  I was on him in less than five seconds and
was pounding the shit out of him with my hands.  Unfortunately I forgot
just how big Ernie was and before I knew it, I was the one being pounded.
I could feel the salty taste of my blood as it trickled unto my lips, my
tongue instinctively lapping it up.  When I thought I would pass out from
the blows, he pulled me up and smashed me against a wall.

"Now you listen to me you little shit.  You're going to go in tomorrow and
you're going to tell Bobby you quit.  You won't say one fucking word about
this or me."

"I won't do it."  I managed to whisper.

"Yes you will or you will sit back and watch as I destroy his career
picture by picture.  You want that Richie?  You want to watch his career,
his life, his lively hood go down the fucking drain because of you?  Do you
want to be the reason why no one wants him because I will make everyone
know who to look at and where to look when this goes down?  Do you want to
be the cause of his pain?"

And I couldn't answer him because what he was saying was true.  How could I
sit back and allow this to happen to my friend, the man that I secretly
loved, I just couldn't.

"You have till tomorrow night to do it.  Because if I find out that you're
working for him, you will wake up Wednesday morning and see his face and
mine plastered all over every single tabloid.  Imagine what his fans are
going to think when they find out Bobby Knight is a fucking faggot.  They
won't be too kind to him Richie, they'll rip him apart like a pit bull
would a rabbit.  No label will ever want to touch him and what about his
new manager.  He'll be out of millions, probably lose his job for not
delivering what he promised.  And don't forget about that bitch Diane.
What will her audience think about her?  I know you don't even want to go
there.  The bottom line is that your decision could bring down a lot of
peoples' career.  Do you want to be responsible for that?"

I didn't answer that, instead choosing to look past his head to the door.
He let me go and watched as I fell to the floor.

"Tomorrow night Richie."  was all he said as he slowly walked out of my
apartment slamming the door behind him.  And long after he had left, I sat
there on my cold, hard, wood floor and thought long and hard about what I
was going to do.


Everyone basically had the same reaction when they saw me the next morning,
the 'what the hell happened to you' look.  Laurence had asked me what had
happened but I had refused to answer instead telling him that I had a lot
of work to do.  He had bought it and had left me in peace.  With Bobby
though, it was an entirely different story.

"Who the fuck beat you up Richie?"

"It's nothing man, just leave it alone."

"I'm not going to leave it alone."  And he had tried to touch my face but I
slapped his hand away.

"What the fuck don't you understand in leave it alone?"  I don't know why I
was upset with Bobby, I just was.

"Shit Richie, what the hell is your problem?"

"Nothing ok!"  I looked at him and saw the hurt look on his face, a look
that I never wanted to see on him again.

"I'm sorry man, I'm just going through some shit today that I need to sort
out by myself."  I gently told him.  He walked up to me and embraced me.
It was then that I started to cry.  The flood dams just opened and I
started to cry on his shoulder.

"Richie what's wrong man."  He asked gently rubbing my back.  And I wanted
to right then and there tell him my dilemma, ask for his help but I
couldn't.  Instead, Michaels' words once again played in my head and in one
breath I decided what I would do.

I don't know how I got the courage to do what I did but I did get it.  We
uncoupled and I allowed him to touch my face.  I could feel the goose bumps
ripple up and down my spine and the heat radiating from his skin to mine
and before long, I was lost in all of that.  It was as if I were on the
outside looking in as I leaned into him quickly and allowed my lips to meet
his.  And the world could have been coming to an end and I wouldn't have
been able to stop what I was doing, stop what I was experiencing, stop
period.  And lost in the moment I didn't realize that Bobby was responding
to my touch and even initiating some of it himself.  His tongue found it's
way into my mouth and greeted my own.  I could feel his heart beat next to
mine and I felt as If it would explode.  And as my arms encircled Bobby's'
neck, he suddenly pulled away, a move that surprised me.

   "Richie , what the hell was that?"  He didn't sound angry, just shocked.

"I kissed you."

"I know that, why would you do that?"

"You didn't stop me."

"Richie..." he started and stopped as if he was unsure of what to say and I
took this as my golden opportunity.

"I love you."  I scanned his face for some form of affirmation, some sign
that he heard me and understood my feelings for him but all I got back in
return was an empty blank stare.

"Richie, I, you.  We're friends and I'm, I can't be more than that to you."
He seemed to be struggling to get the words out.

"You seemed perfectly fine giving more to Ernie!"  I blurted out in a
moment where I was mad and hurt that he would choose an experience with
Ernie over one with me.

"What?"

"You fucked Ernie who could give less than two shits about you but here I
am offering everything I have and you can't be more than that to me!"  The
look on his face now displayed surprise and then anger.

"You need to mind your own fucking business!  What me and Ernie did or
didn't do is really none of your goddamn concern."

"I was your fucking friend Bobby!  Don't you think shit like that I should
have known about?  I told you everything that was happening in my life and
you couldn't even share this with me!"  By this time I was crying again.

"There was nothing to share dammit.  It was a series of harmless fucks.  It
meant absolutely nothing."

"Like I guess our relationship means absolutely nothing!"

"That's not true Richie and you know it."

"Then why won't you give me a chance to show you how much I care about you?
I would do anything for you Bobby, anything!"  And without even saying
anything I knew that I was a slave to Bobby's' love.

"Because...because that's not me Richie.  I can't do that and still be in
this business.  My career comes first before anything else, you of all
people should know that."

"I guess I should."

Realizing that I had taken the comment personal, he tried to rectify it.

"I didn't mean it like that Richie."

"The hell you didn't.  I've wasted so many years of my life, missed out on
so many things just so that I could be near you, so that we could be
together.  I'm such a fucking idiot."

"No you're not Richie."  And when he tried to touch me I hit him right in
the face and ran out the door not looking to see if he was ok.  I wanted
not to care but I did.

'You are such a fucking head case Richard.' I taunted as I ran to the
parking lot and jumped into my car.  I didn't care anymore.  I didn't want
to care anymore.  And as I took a left unto the street, my mind filled with
thoughts of Bobby and Ernie together, I failed to notice the truck as it
barreled right into me, sending me into a state of blackness.


"Bobby, what the hell happened to you?"

"Where the fuck is he?"

"Who?"

"Richie!"

"I don't know.  What happened to you?"

"Nothing!"  Someone ran in.

"Someone's' car just got totaled!"

"Where?"

"Just outside the lot.  A truck just rammed right into it."

"Was anyone inside?"

"I think so.  They just took out a body."

"Shit!"

"You ok Bobby?"

"Yeah, just find Richie for me will you."

"No Problem."

"Thanks."

OK SO I SAID THIS WOULD BE THE LAST CHAPTER, WELL IT IS BUT I WILL BE
ADDING A PART B TO IT.  SORRY TO LEAVE THE CLIFFHANGER... 

EMAILS ARE WELCOMED AND WANTED!!!