Date: Sun, 28 Mar 1999 20:29:54 EST
From: WriterGray@aol.com
Subject: True Self/False Front

Here it is my only story so far without sex. Well, almost without sex I am
sure the subject will come up. This story is about relationships and
interactions.

Ok all general announcement this as a M/M Based relationship story. If you
are under 18 or in a state where you are not permitted to read this please
leave now. If you are interested in reading but uncomfortable be aware
there are some compromising situations in this story line that are bound to
make you possibly more uncomfortable.


Authors Notes: this story came to me on an idea while I was at work and one
of my gay customers came in to place a order. So, if you must know there
are some non-fiction parts to the mechanics behind this story names are
definitely changed and identities will be protected. If you have anything
to add to this let me know. Any comments should be sent to:
writergray@aol.com

			   True Self/False Front
			   By Grayson S. Vellar

I sat in my interviewing position as Martin came in to place his weekly
order, as he sat there I began to wonder why I was so intrigued with this
guy. I told him I wanted to get to know him better and would like to have
dinner with him some time. He agreed, but I had this unusual feeling it had
all been planned out previously. We went out on what we later termed as a
date and found out we had quite few things in common.

We were together for several months before he finally moved in with me it
was unusual at first but we have become quite attached to one another. He,
of course, being the better half in the relationship still can touch my
heart in place no one will ever venture. I sit here now to tell you the
most wonderful story he wrote out for me I am going to leave a lot of the
same charm he revealed to me when we first met. Of course the first few
paragraphs are unedited just for that reason alone.

We are still together yes and I love him for who and what he is. He is
currently writing more stories now to add to this. But, he wants me to
actually write them out for him. The funny thing is he tells me them and I
just wait till he hands them over then I just edited them for him. I think
he has a charm I personally lack when I write, then again he likes mine
better.

*******************************************************************************

You know it is funny when you think of all the people you know in your
life, and really think about how well you truly know them. You may not want
to but you will always find out things you never really thought about them
in the first place. Many of the guys I am a friend with have come to me
over the years of being there and they have just let go. Cried, laughed,
loved, and cherished maybe a little to much in their own way. Sure it is
easy to prey upon the weak but to be so weak as to do so would mean lying
to myself about me and lying to them about or relationships.

Oh I forgot to introduce myself I am Martin Velasquez 28 going on 23. My
one goal here is to show you the truth behind the mask we all wear. It
seems my own life has been pretty simple mostly because I am independent of
most things in life. Mostly due to my inability to get to involved and just
watch as things go by. Most would think this to be sad others would think
this to be luck. I just think I am me and I see things for what they are
worth. Sure I stick my neck out and most often time's people try to cut off
my head, but I am still here because I know the truth.

The stories I am about to tell you are true but who really cares one away
or another if you believe me as along as I know they are that is what
counts. You see I am here to start a new revelation, in the way you look at
the people in your life. I hope you can soon forgive my way of handling the
changes but it will only last a little while. The tears I mean of course
they only last a little while otherwise you would get nothing done.

			   True Face/False Front
		  By Martin Velasquez & Grayson S. Vellar

Steve sat alone one-day thinking of his life and holding a picture of his
lost lover Tom in his lap. No one could ever understand my loss he thought
as he sat alone quietly crying his fears away. But, no one was quite the
opposite of this man's fate. His eyes swelled completely to a mad dash of
tears as he dropped the picture and discontinued his fated hate and rage of
death. Tim walked up to him ver cautiously as he knew all too well his
heart could not watch this anymore from a distance. His heart was breaking
as he watched this man sitting in the park staring into his hands and
crying as if he was going to fall apart.

"Um, I know you don't know me but I just happened to notice you could use
some company am I right?" He hesitantly asked as he sat down next to Steve.

"I'm Tim by the way." He held out his hand and with no response from Steve
he reached around and pulled him to his chest.

"It's going to be alright what ever it is. You're not alone..." He said as
Steve's tears soaked through his shirt and to his skin.

"I am alone in this Tom. You left me." Steve said as he held tight to Tim.

"It's OK. I'm here just let it out." Tim was confused but continued to let
this guy cry away, not even knowing his name.

"What's your name?" Tim asked, only to receive a new flood of tears from
Steve.

"It's me -- Steve. Your baby bear. " He answered holding tighter to
Tim. Tim felt a sudden rush as Steve held him tighter it had been a long
time since he had held a man or had one hold him. Not since Jon had he felt
so secure and loved.

"Steve, I hate to say this because I don't want you to let go. But, we have
never met before, you know that right?" He hated himself for saying it but
he had too. Steve pulled back slightly then completely as he looked over
the man he had been holding. As he began to stand Tim pulled him back down
to the bench.

"Steve it's Ok. You we did nothing wrong here. You don't have to leave."
Tim felt a rush of panic surfacing in his soul as he tried to get Steve to
stay.

"I have to be going. Thank you for all you have done." Steve stood up and
began to walk away as Tim looked down at the picture on the ground. He was
staring back at himself as he sat in silence. Steve stopped along the path
as he looked back and watched in anticipation.

Tim sat within a silent stillness as his heart raced to the finish line of
reasoning. He confused and bewildered picked the picture up form the
ground. It was a picture of him, yet he had no recollection of its
existence. As Steve could see Tim's confusion build he walked back over now
calm and collected. Setting down on the bench directly next to Tim he was
now in the position of comforter. Tim stared off in a haze of recollection
as he tried to regain his sense of self. Steve reached around his shoulder
and pulled him closer to him. It was now time for the tables to be turned.

"What are you some sort of a stalker? Where the hell did you get this
picture? Hell, where was it taken? This is some sort of a sick joke right?"
Tim was angry and upset and only wanted answers as he pulled away and
turned toward Steve sitting on the bench watching him.

"Tom was my lover for five years. This is no joke you just happen to look
like him. Apparently, I was wrong about you after all!" With his statement
he grabbed at the picture tearing it in two as he stood up and walked
away. Tim ran after him to get his answers.

"Who are you? Why are you doing this?" Tim asked as he spun Steve around by
his arm.

"I'm Steve I told you that already!" With that Steve slipped from Tim's
grip and walked towards the intersection just ahead. He was on his way back
to work but had no idea how long he had been gone.

The light turned red three fourths of the way though the intersection as it
predictably did every day. But, to the innocent unsuspecting new comer it
was not expected. The traffic moved fast here unless you could sprint you
would most likely never make it through. Tim persevered after Steve now
only half an intersection away as the traffic came at him at full force. He
was not seen until he was flying through the air. Tim could hear Steve
screaming as he passed out on the hood of a car. Steve rushed over to his
side to find out what had happened. Had he inadvertently killed a man, was
all he could think as he approached.

He bent down close as the driver of the car stood by crying her eyes out
screaming as if the very same car had hit her herself. Tim was breathing
but not well enough for anyone to just see it. In Steve's eyes he looked as
if he were sleeping lost in a world of deep dreams. His hands reached out
to Tim as he tried to resist the urge to hold him. It was a painful memory
seeing him this way the same way he remember Tom three years before he
disappeared.

Tom had been shopping in one store while Steve was in another they had
separated from one another to finish up Christmas shopping. Tom had gone
across the street to a department store while Steve had chosen a more
relaxing higher priced men's clothing store neither of which had any idea
what to buy but had decided to do it together so to speak. On their way to
meet one another Steve had exited the building through the wrong door and
had to walk back around the building or go back inside and walk through the
exit. He chose to walk around the air was cool and the exercise would do
him some good he thought as he began to walk. To his surprise traffic was
completely stopped on the street as he rounded the corner to find a crowd
of people in the street. His heart sank, as he knew it was Tom but he
remained as he walked on. He waited at the bench for less than two minutes
before he had to go look and see. Tom was always late he thought as he
approached. Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.

Tom much like Tim today, had been thrown onto the car hood. Tim's body lay
still and calm as he breathed in sighs and moans. Steve was suddenly
overjoyed by the idea he would have his chance to make amends he thought as
he reached out finally and held onto Tim's hand. Siren's blared from the
corner as emergency vehicles approached the scene. Steve fearfully grabbed
Tim up into his lap as he sat on the hood with him now. The Ambulance could
not get through with the entire traffic and Narrow Street. Tim began to
awaken...

"Steve -- I thought I could make it -- I'm sorry -- I have missed this so
much -- I'm sorry--" He breathing became labored with every word as Steve
felt the tears begin to pool on his eyes.

"It's Ok Tim your going to be alright. I am here, I know you don't know me
but I am here." Steve said as he stroked the hair away from Tim's face
gently.

"Baby Bear -- Please stay with me -- I..." He passed back out as the EMT's
approached on either side.

"Papa Bear I'll be there when you wake up I promise..." Steve said as his
tears now broke free spilling onto Tim's face. It was several hours and
several signatures later when Steve finally took note of the fact that he
had taken over responsibility for Tim. He found himself signing for
insurance and listening to the doctors reports as if he were the only one
to hear them, maybe the only one important enough to Tim to hear them. But
something told him in his mind he was supposed to be here doing nothing was
to stop him form being here.

Still very weary of the situation he made his way to the phone once again
to fill in his boss of the situation. It had been two hours since his last
check in with Jack, but he was an understanding boss. To Steve he always
had an understanding; to anyone else they were pushing their luck. It was
like union made in heaven from the start. Jack had known Tom first but
found his boyfriend to be quite an idea's man for advertising. So, he
eventually hired him and they also became close friends. After Tom's death
Jack nearly had to let him go, he felt Steve had lost the edge. Eventually
he got back that edge but every year around this time he would loss it once
again. To say that Jack understood was an understatement. Jack had been
there with Steve the night that Tom had not come home. All of Tom's things
were still in place and nothing was noted as to his being gone until the
next morning when Steve lay awake still waiting for him to come home. Jack
spent several weeks with Steve trying to comfort him but had no way of
knowing his loss since he had never fallen in love himself. Neither man had
spoken of those weeks since, but their friendship and closeness had grown
from the experience.

"Jack it's me. I'm still at the hospital." Steve said as he held the phone
with a shaking cold hand.

"Do you want me to come down there?" Jack asked hoping he would say yes
knowing he needed someone. He also knew getting him to admit it would be
hard under most circumstances.

"Yes, but I think I can handle this one. He's still in ICU and won't be out
until he fully wakes up. I don't want to leave him though. I guess if you
want to come down you would just be sitting here waiting with me." Steve
said in a low tone almost begging his friend to show up.

"I'll be down in five minutes. I want to be there. By the way who is this
guy? You seem so distant to me here and you have not mentioned who he is
yet." Jack asked knowing something had been up earlier when Steve had only
told him it was like Tom had come home to him and he lost him all over
again.

"Actually I don't know. I met him today and he has me so confused. It
reminds me of Tom so much. I just feel like it is all happening all over
again. I know it has been two years and I should just get over it. But Jack
it is like part of me went away with him. I loved him with every part of my
soul." Steve said as his tears began to build up again.

"I know you did buddy but you have to put it in the past some times. You
know the score there and that is what bothers you. Tom's body was never
found, so in the back of your mind it isn't over. You did manage to hold
someone here on this earth that day but it was not Tom. I wish I could say
I know what you're going through but I don't. I had never found something
like you two had. Tom Loved you even though he disappeared I am sure of
it. I have it now with Mary but it is still growing no where near what you
two had as of yet. You know when you made headway into that crowd that day
and found Scott it was a miracle. I am so thankful you saved him Steve. If
you had not found him my only brother would have been alone. I am outside
now my cell is going to have to be turned off in order for me to come
inside. I will be there in less than a minute. " With that Jack hung up the
phone and walked right into the lobby finding Steve standing silent waiting
for him.

"Thank you Jack." Steve said as he hugged him tight and began to cry into
his shoulder.

"No, thank you. Its ok buddy let it out. Your going to be fine." Jack said
as he hugged him back and rubbed his back standing in the lobby while
people passed them by.

They began to walk back to the waiting area as the Doctor came right up to
Steve.

"He's awake and asking for a Baby Bear? Is that by any chance you? If it is
you better get in there." He grinned with a questioning look on his
face. Jack smiled, as he knew this was Tom's pet name for Steve.

"Where do we go?" Steve asked.

"Just follow me this way. Please be aware he is very confused right now he
keeps telling us he is Tom and that nothing seems right." As he turned and
walked back towards a row of rooms with glass fronts and signs that said no
visitors and such on them. Steve and Jack looked at one another with
confusion as they headed down the hallway after him. Jack thought about
what he was seeing in each and thanked god for not making it him in there
hidden from family and friends. Still remembering the day Steve had saved
Scott and how unusual it was that one miracle so true could reveal the
ending of another.

"Now, you can go in but you can only stay a few minutes we are going to
move him soon." The Doctor smiled and opened the door. Jack tried to follow
Steve inside only to be stopped by the Doctor.

"Only one of you at a time please it is a small room." The Doctor stated
and Jack stayed out side looking in through the glass wall. Just as Steve
got to the bed a crew came forwards and announced they were ready to move
Mr. Norm to his room for the evening. Jack smiled at Steve as he hung his
head and walked back out not even having a chance to look at Tim yet.

"I was so close. When will I get to see him?" Steve asked the Doctor as a
nurse ushered him out of the ICU.

"In about ten minutes when he is settled in. I'm sorry bout this." He said
as he directed them to room 208. Telling them to go ahead and wait by the
room and they would be right up.

As the two got into the elevator they looked at one another and began to
laugh.

"It's just like the last time with Scott only thing is this time I feel
like breaking down when I see him." Steve said, as he hugged Jack once
again and they both sighed as the doors opened. To a very well lit and nice
looking floor it had been waxed so you could see yourself in it. . This was
no ordinary hospital however this hospital was new and unused since it had
only opened maybe a two months previous to this day. Steve caught a glimpse
of himself in the mirror finish and suspected he was a mess. He would have
to wait 'til he was allowed inside the room to take care of it though. They
worked their way to room 208 as they walked alone down the hall. Little
bits of sound bled thought the closed door as Televisions and heart
monitors made sounds only heard in a hospital. They reached the door and it
was wide open the lights were on and no one was present as Steve took the
opportunity to step inside and get a look at him in the mirror.

Steve noticed several things about this room right off it was extravagant
in furnishings no tile left unkempt, no blanket unturned. He was to be
taken care of like a king in his own palace. Steve made hi sway to the
bathroom noting it's well planned dressing area and handicapped access. He
was always amazed at the amount of care that was taken in designing such
things. Quickly he gave himself a once over as he heard voices coming from
the corridor. He didn't want to get caught. But, if he lingered any longer
in this room he would certainly be.

"Jack is that you?" Steve could here Tim asking.

"Yeah buddy it's me. How...I mean...when?" Jack stammered as Steve listened
close by. Tim had recognized him even though they had not met how was this
possible, Steve thought as he hid in silence.

"It's me, Jacky. Where's my Baby Bear?" Tim sounded like he trailed off in
thought as Steve stepped up to the curtain surrounding his life and love.

"He's here but he doesn't understand. It is not like I do either. But,
somehow buddy we are going to work all this out." Jack said, as he thought
about being called Jacky. It had been a long time indeed, 3 years as a
matter of fact, since anyone had called him that.

"Work out what Jacky? I am still trying to figure out why the Doc is
calling me Tim. I keep telling him my name is Tom." Steve was stunned as he
stood there trying not to burst into tears.

"Steve should be along any second. Um, Tom do you know why you’re here?
I mean we have not really been close for about 3 years now so what has been
going on with you?" Jack asked as Steve began to work his way around
towards the front of the curtain.

"I remember the last three years. God, I feel so strange like I have been
ignoring Steve and then this morning when I got hit by that car it all came
to me. I found him crying on a bench across from your office and well he
ran off and I chased him. I had forgotten about that damn light. He was so
upset I just had to find out why. It is as if I have had no idea he was
feeling left out. All I want to do is see him I can make it better what
ever it is. I feel so bad for hurting him..." Tom when silent as Steve
stood watching them through the corner of the curtains.

"He is here Tom. I mean he will be here as soon as he gets back from
cleaning up." Just then Steve stepped out from behind the partition.

"Baby Bear!" Tom burst out as he looked at a half-dazed Steve with tears
streaming down his face.

"You need to rest Papa Bear, you're going to be fine. I need to go see the
doctors your going to be fine." Steve said as he kissed Tom on the forehead
and began to walk away.

"Steve can it wait I want to talk to you first." Tom asked as he leaned up
in bed.

"Steve I will go and talk to them you stay here. I think I can handle it
OK." Jack said as he stood and immediately walked out of the room.

"Steve sit down here please. I just wanted to say I have no idea what I
have done wrong because I can not remember what it is that I have been
doing for some reason." Steve sat down and held his hand firmly. " I just
want to tell you I'm sorry. I know it is lots to ask right now but please
forgive me. I love you so much." Tom said as he began to tear up again and
Steve just stared at him like a fool. Steve's tears began to form
again. His nerves were shot from the day events already. Tom began to say
something as Steve placed his index finger over his lips to quiet him.

"I have told you so many times but none are as important as now. I love you
so much and always will no matter what Tom. I told you a long time ago I
will never leave you and I wont. Not now not ever, you understand right?"
Steve said as the Doctor came into the room with Jack.

"Steve can we see you out in the hall buddy?" Jack asked as he waved to Tom
sitting up in the bed.

"Ok. Tom I will only be a minute. I love you try to get some sleep." He
whispered as he leaned in and kissed Tom.

Steve walked out of the room to be greeted by Tom's mother and his
sister. Maryanne and Lynn both stood silent as the Doctor directed them to
another room. Steve noted it looked exactly like the one Tom was staying in
only it was backwards as he slipped up onto the bed. Maryanne sat down next
to him and placed her arm around his shoulder.

"How you holding up kid?" She asked as the others watched them.

"Ok, really tired and confused but Ok." Steve answered as Lynn walked over
to him and hugged him. She was perhaps the only one who knew truly how he
felt when Tom died her husband had only died a year ago and this was very
trying on her nerves as well.

"Ok I need you all to one by one tell me what is going on." The Doctor said
as he sat down in a chair. Of course with Steve being the most involved he
went first.

"You see it is like this that is Tom not Tim in there and he even knows
it. Tom disappeared from our lives 3 years ago. I was a mess and today is
the anniversary of that day. I had gone to the park to clear my head today
at lunch. While there this compassionate man approached me and said he was
Tim I looked up thought I was dreaming as he looked at the photo I was
holding of him to make a long story short he got hit by a car while
following me running away. I was scarred and confused and still am this has
been such a weird day. He got hit I held him 'til the ambulance came. He
called me baby bear just like he used to. I cried all the way here you took
him from me and now he has returned to me and I..." Steve was beginning to
hyper ventilate as he tried to continue. Maryanne began to rub his back as
she started to speak.

"Look for three years I have had no idea that my son was alive. Now he is
in the other room acting like that time has not passed. Where has he been I
don't know I'm not even sure I really care? I am just glad he is here,
alive, and well. I am not going to miss him again. I can't go through it
again." With that said Lynn stepped in.

"Here goes nothing Mom. I have been morning both him and my husbands loss
for so long I am not sure how to feel." Lynn said as she sat back down and
stared at Jack.

"He was my best friend and I miss him. I hate to see you go through this."
He gestured to Steve. "But are you sure that is Tom. I mean are you really
sure?" He said as he sat down next to Lynn on the other bed in the room.

"Yes." Steve said, as he looked at the others one by one.

"Ok, well all that aside I think I can explain this if we look at his
medical past not his present. I need to identify him first. He has a past
but how was he? I will be back in a few hours to let you know what I come
up with. I have a friend on the force who will help if I ask him too." The
Doctor said as he stood up to leave.

"Please do. I am not sure what you name is..." Maryanne asked. He smiled
and said. "Taylor."

"Well, Thank you Taylor. We will be here when you get back." They all
headed back to Tom's room and found him wide awake and talking on the phone
to someone.

"That would be great. Now get my limousine ready and get over here
quickly. I have found all I have been looking for. Your never going to
believe this." He hung up as he sat there smiling at us as we entered.

"Hello Tom you remember me?" Maryanne asked as she sat down next to him on
the bed.

"Mom, how could I have forgotten you of all people?" He began to cry as he
reached up and hugged her. He was squinting his eyes as his whole body
ached from the accident. Maryanne began to cry with him.

"Oh, Tom I have missed you so much." Lynn said as Steve continued to watch.

"Birdie my god I am so sorry I have missed you too."

"Tom I wish you would have forgotten that name." Lynn said as she pushed
the hair from his brow and smiled broadly at him. She no longer had the
beak of a nose she once had.

"Baby Bear are you going to hide form me over there all night?" Tom asked
as he sat there staring at him intently.

Steve walked over to him and sat on the opposite side of the bed of
Maryanne. Tom reached over and placed his hand on Steve's as they looked
into each others eyes without saying a word Steve bent down and kissed
Tom. They stayed that way for a what seemed like a eternity until Steve had
to breath and let go of his grip sitting up and began starring down at Tom.

"Baby I have missed you so much." Tom said as the others began to cry in
the room. Even Jack was touched as he could see the life filling in Steve
where it had disappeared so long ago.

"I love you too. Now tell us who you where talking to." Steve said as he
squeezed Tom's hand.

"The Byers, Dr. Timothy Byers, and Susan Byers. They have been taking care
of me since I was um knocked loss from the real world. I had no
recollection of them until I dialed their number." Tom said, as he suddenly
remembers something else.

"Baby I am so sorry. Oh my god I am so sorry I left you all alone!" Tom was
crying as he leaned into Steve crying on his shoulder. Steve wrapped his
arms around him. Jack suddenly remembered the Taylor and ran out of the
room to find him.

Taylor was standing at the Nurses station gathering dialing the phone as
Jack approached him. Taylor took note of the tears and decided to hang up.

"Jack what's wrong?" He said very seriously.

"Tom is Tom he just told us some of what has been going on." He sobbed
loudly as Taylor came around from the desk.

(To Be Continued)

E-mail Me: writergray@aol.com