Well, this is my first attempt at a story, well, technically my 376th attempt; this is the only one that didn't run into a brick wall. The authors at Nifty have always been an inspiration and I'm clinging blindly to the hope that I might be one of them someday.
Disclaimer: This is a story about that sappy thing called love, mainly between two 18 year old males so if you're not into that kind of stuff I suddenly wonder what urged you to download this. Anyway...and if you're not over 18 or aren't allowed to view this stuff where you live then you shouldn't be reading this, but if you're a rebel to society's oppression of the youth then you probably will anyway. You may not copy, edit, claim authorship to or generally mess around with this story without permission from me. If you want it on your site (frankly I don't see why you would), just ask, I won't say no.
Authors Note: Well all you readers that I'm pretending are there are probably going to see ***** when there's a reference to a city or town. Just use your imaginations. :-)
Ok, that's done. Enjoy...or at least pretend to. Copyright Oz 2002
"We're going to a fucking rock concert!?" I practically shouted, I had stopped walking and turned to face Megan, she winced at the volume of my voice, she wasn't a morning person...I was. "Yes, we are, a few bands are playing stuff like Metallica, Nirvana, Black Sabbath etc." She continued walking towards the school.
"That is soo cool!" I said excitedly.
"Yeah yeah, now shut up and let me be brain dead for a while." She replied. As we walked through the gates heads turned and people looked at me curiously.
"Megan," I glanced at people, many looking at me and talking to their friends.
"Yes?"
"Why are people looking at me like I've grown an extra arm?"
She giggled, "'cause you actually let yourself look good today." she replied, and smiled "You've looked like shit for the last month." Well, that's Megan, tactless.
"Pfft, you're just jealous their looking at me and not you," she was right, this morning I had tried to salvage my image that I dropped after Daniel died. I wore a white shirt and white pants, with an open dark blue button-up shirt on top, it worked with my tan.
"Well, at least I'm constantly beautiful. For you it seems to depend on the day of the week." said Megan. I raised my eyebrow at her and she grinned, "Look, there's Jade, Mike and Carlos."
We walked over to them, hugged and shook, depending on the sex. Hey, I had to keep an image, even though I was out to all my friends, I doubted I'd let the whole school into the secret.
"Yo, Jase, looking good, did you rediscover your mirror?" Commented Mike. Mike was extremely sport-oriented, typical jock. He had dark blue eyes and blonde hair that would cover them sometimes, oh, and he had a body to kill for. The combination worked well with the women, and he knew it. Sadly, it was the only sex he was available to.
"Yeah, and you're smiling too, that's pretty risky...you might sprain yourself." Added Carlos. I punched him in the shoulder and laughed. Carlos was a bisexual (also out to only us). He was much darker than any of us. He had black hair that he wore spiked and had a slight Spanish accent, he was also a natural looker. Just not my type.
Jade was optimistic and bright - as opposed to the general cynic air of the rest of us. She had blonde hair that was streaked with red and was cut short, her brown eyes seemed to change their shade depending on what angle you looked at them. She winked and smiled at me.
Our gathering was ended when the shrill cry of the school bell filled the cafeteria. Great, classes, I'm ecstatic. Mike walked with me to the chemistry lab as the group scattered. We were all in our second year of the International Baccalaureate (Basically a high school grade 12 but a shit load harder) and were graduating for college next year, Spring had set in and it was the middle of April, we had a long way to go. We went in and started on the lab experiment. I paired up with Mike and we started taking out equipment. Suddenly the teacher hit the desk with a metal bar that she seemed to have pulled out of her pocket. She normally used it to call attention. She was...weird, for lack of a better word.
"Ok, class, as much as I want to see you tip highly acidic chemicals on each other, I'm going to remind you to put on aprons and safety glasses." The class moaned. "Yeah, I know its annoying and completely void of fashion sense but we don't want to have to drag your dead bodies over the clean marble." When she was done, she fled the room and we were left to finish the experiment. Mike and I sat down and started working.
Many of the teachers here were weird. It made school that slightest bit interesting when physics teachers threw chairs across the room to prove formulas, english teachers stopped classes for group meditations and math teachers wrote formulas all over the doors and windows.
"So anyway, you're acting normal, and I use that in the lightest way possible, what happened?" Asked Mike. I have a feeling I'll be getting a lot of this today.
"I dunno dude, I just woke up this morning and felt...good" I replied. "I went to W. E. yesterday."
"Oh." Said Mike, he was at a loss for words, I couldn't blame him. He changed the subject, as he normally did when he ran into a dead end "You know about the concert tonight right?"
I waved a corked bottle at him, "Hell yeah! It's gonna be amazing!" His eyes suddenly grew wide, I gave him a confused look then turned the bottle, "Sulphuric acid..." I giggled "...oops." I put the bottle back down and grinned at him.
He relaxed visibly. "Do that again I'll feed you that stuff with a spoon."
"RICKY!!!" I shouted as I slammed the wooden door with my fist. "OPEN THE FUCK UP YOU DEAF BASTARD!!" The screams of electric guitar distortion could be heard all the way down the hall. I was about to give up when a hand grabbed my shoulder, I spun around to see Marcus, Ricky's roommate smiling at me. "Oh thank God, I was gonna search my room for a chainsaw."
"Heh, yeah, just a sec." He went over to the door and slid his key in. Marcus was tall and dark. His head was shaved and his dark-brown skin matched with his black muscle shirt. As usual, he was weighed down by the assorted chains that he decorated himself with, they looked like they'd belonged to a tow truck. The inside of the room was ornamented with books and colorful guitar cables that ran around the floors like lost Christmas decorations. Marcus passively gave Rick the finger, Rick ignored him and waved to me as he continued to play solos on his guitar. With the indifference of a phone billing operator, Marcus walked over to the mess of power cables and unplugged them. The sound died like a broken record.
"What the hell'd you do that for?" Said Rick, glaring at Marcus.
"You can jack off your guitar as much as you want at the concert." Said Marcus, going over to his bed and sprawling out on it.
I sat down next to Rick and idly picked at the strings. Rick was wearing nothing but boxers, exposing his defined chest. He had spiked hair that uniformly pointed at the sky and deep blue eyes that you could drown in. "Hey Rick."
"Oh...you." He smirked.
Ah well, he asked for it. I grabbed his guitar by its neck and held it over my head.
"I mean, hey baby how are you? Long time no see. I love you. How's life treating you? Did I tell you I loved you?" I laughed and put it down, to shut him up more than anything else. "Anyway, you ready for tonight?" He asked.
"Yup, you got the chord-less mics right?"
"Yeah, everything's here in boxes, its 4 now. We'll have to be there around 6 to set up everything."
"When are we up?"
"We're the first band after the beginners."
"Cool..."
It was a quiet night, well, it would have been, if we weren't standing in front of the Cross Roads. The nightclub was a place for people who were either really rich or really popular. The beginner bands could be heard from inside, fortunately they were nearly finished. Megan had timed us so we wouldn't have to listen to them kicking their amps and breaking their strings. A few people were standing outside, either waiting to get in or wishing they could. We walked up to the neon embroidered door and were met by a bouncer.
"I'm gonna need some I.D. young man," He said to Carlos.
"Get fucked Robert." He replied, grinning at him. One thing Carlos had acquired in his three years since he came were connections, lots of them.
"I was playin' with you man, get your ass in there." He laughed. We walked through the doors and weaved through the crowds. The inside was dark. There were colored lights flooding the stage and black light illuminating the bar, making everything white, glow. The stage was set up in the center of the room, to the left of it ran the bar, and to the right was the entrance from which we came. Speakers surrounded the perimeter and as we walked across the bass could be felt in our stomachs. Young rocker wannabes sat along a wall, each with a cigarette dangling from their lips as they unsuccessfully tried to blend in with their surroundings. The smell of tobacco drifted around the room along with the smell of alcohol.
We eventually found a place near the bar, but with a good view of the stage and sat down. None of us smoked but we all drank once in a while. Mike and Carlos being the only one who did it till they heaved. It was soon time for the experienced bands to play. Groups started coming together and sorting out instruments and cords as the last beginner band finished off.
"Damn, there hasn't been a serious concert in ***** for a whole year." I said to Carlos. He wasn't really into rock music but tagged along anyway - I had a great suspicion that it was because of the free booze that came with the tickets.
"Yeah, I don't know about all these guys, but I'm sure ready for a night of indistinguishable electric bullshit." Said Carlos, his tone dripping with sarcasm. Carlos praised rappers like 2 Pac and DMX, but also knew every Celine Dion song off by heart. What could I say? His music taste was like his sexuality...undefined.
"Carlos?"
"Yes, Jason hun." He grinned at me.
I grabbed his head, held it down and slapped the back of his neck. He yelped and pushed me off, rubbing the area where I'd hit him. "I love you." I replied, and grinned. I looked up to see a guy enter the club with a mess of cables in his hands. He stood tall, cables wrapped around his body. His long blond hair rested on his shoulders and his dark blue eyes glittered in the distorted light. The muscles on his chest and abs were outlined by a black shirt that clung tightly onto them. His baggy white pants glowed in that eerie way that clothes did under black light.
I found myself unable to stop looking at him. It wasn't only his apparent physical attractiveness that held my gaze, but an aura of complete control and confidence that he seemed to radiate. He glanced around the room, waving to a few people, he turned and looked over at the bar, waving to the barman. All this time I watched him, unable to register the smells or the sounds from around the room because all my senses were subdued. He turned towards me and our sights collided. I felt my heartbeat quicken as my body shot a few spurts of adrenaline into my bloodstream. My face began to heat up and the pounding of my heart drummed in my ears.
"Oooh look! Jason's zoned out over that dude with the cables." Said Jade.
"I can't blame him." Commented Megan absently.
"Wha...what?" I tore my eyes away from him, our temporary connection broken abruptly. As I tried to calm the mess of emotions within me a dominating feeling seemed to rise from my not so distant past...confusion. What's wrong with me? My heartbeat, my head, my stomach...The only other time I've ever felt this was...
I walked into Cross Roads while wresting the guitar cables that Ricky and Kyle had dumped on me before they shot off to get the guitars. Kyle was another member of our band, he played the bass, the one other member was Brian who played second guitar. Marcus had also gone back to retrieve his drum set.
Let's do this. I walked through the doors while waving at the people I recognized. I looked over to the bar and waved at John, the barman, then turned to set the cables down when I caught a guy staring right at me. I wondered whether I should have recognized him, but I had never seen him before. He was reclined on a couch with two girls and two other guys on either side of him. His hair was spiked in random directions and a black bandana was tied around his head with the ends falling to the side. As our eyes connected I found myself 'drawn in by his gaze' (for lack of a better cliché). His eyes were like windows to a storm of colors. They started as hazel in the middle and somehow ended as a rich green. The image seemed surreal in the flashing lights that created a haze around him. When he turned away to talk to the girl on his left I realized that the hypnotizing eye color could easily have been forged at a contact lens store. He is refreshingly good-looking though. I'll try to strike up a conversation with him at the bar later, shouldn't be too hard.
I was literally bumped out of my thoughts when Brian ran into me carrying his guitar case. They all seemed in a rush to get everything ready, I'd sung with other bands before so I wasn't as nervous.
"Come on dude, get that shit to the corner over there, the last beginner group is already playing!" He said excitedly, I decided to suspend the conversation I was having with myself and stepped back into reality.
"Yeah ok," I said, walking over to the side of the stage and throwing the angry cables onto the floor with the amplifiers.
Three drinks and a few lame songs later, it was time, I climbed up on stage and helped with the instruments. It begins...
"Hey look! That cute kid you were lookin' at is a vocalist! He's up next." Said Jade as she poked me repeatedly. I grabbed her hand.
"Yes, thank you, now let me undress him with my eyes in peace." We both laughed just as Megan came back with six beers in her hands.
"Ok, one for me, one for Jason, and four between Carlos and Mike," she said while throwing them to each of us then plopping down next to me, "Finally, some real music." Just then the microphone let out a squeal as the nameless attraction stepped up and turned it on, I found my attention completely centered on him. He looked even more stunning under the spotlights. He coughed into the mic to get everyone to settle down.
"What's up ******!? For you all who don't know me or the rest of the guys back here; my names Jason, that's Marcus on the drums, Ricky and Brian on electric, and Kyle on bass," He pointed at each one respectively, the audience whistling and clapping manically, mostly for the joy of hearing themselves whistle and clap manically. "Lets play!"
As if on cue, the drums started a roll and the two guitarists burst into an assortment of extremely fast, and extremely loud riffs. Anyone sitting down shot up like a wave - with no exception to us. I threw my hands up and started chanting with the rest. "Di-le-ma! Di-le-ma! Di-le-ma!"
After we'd finished the introduction we moved straight into "Fuel" by Metallica, one of my favorites since it made you want to walk out and hit the first person you see that looks at you wrong. The audience was great, not too drunk as to be laying around doing nothing, but not too sober as to worry about looking like idiots, and well, a few of them did. The words came out of my mouth subconsciously as I drifted into the zone.
One knows when he's doing something he loves when everything around him doesn't seem to matter anymore when he does it. When the world outside his mind fades and all that's left is himself. Many people talk about thinking a thousand things at once while they're doing something on stage or in public, for me it was the complete opposite, it was the one place where I could escape my thoughts and just...exist.
As we moved into the middle of the third song, I was getting bored of the stage. I jumped off and started walking around the dance floor as I sang. I walked towards the bar, turned around and shouted "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE ALIVE!?" Earning a loud cheer from the crowd. I decided I'd have a little fun with the kid I'd saw staring at me and walked over to the couch where he'd been with his friends. He was standing, jumping up and down and head banging. At this point, the guitars had gone into a solo and it was my turn to just keep the crowd excited, shouting occasionally or repeating lines. God he looks cute. I walked over to him and caught his stare. Play it cool. I winked at him, expecting him to get embarrassed and turn away. Instead, he raised an eyebrow and smiled then started jumping again. Well...he's confident. I suddenly realized I was slightly nervous, a feeling I wasn't very accustomed to. As the solo finished I got back on stage and finished off the song.
It was our final song. This has to be perfect. I was surprised at how much I cared for this to go right when I hadn't given a damn at the beginning. It was almost as if I wanted to impress the guy that had played along with my flirt game. I closed my eyes and wrapped my hands around the mic. This has to be perfect...
"So close, no matter how far,
Couldn't be more torn from the heart,
Forever trust in who we are,
And nothing else matters.
I never opened myself this way,
Life is ours we live it our own way,
Oh these words I don't just say,
And nothing else matters.
Yeah, trust our sin and I'll find in you,
Everyday for us something new,
A open mind for a different view,
And nothing else matters.
Never cared for what they do,
Never cared for what they know,
And I know.
So close, no matter how far,
Couldn't be more torn from the heart,
Forever trust in who we are,
And nothing else matters.
Never cared for what they do,
Never cared for what they know,
And I know."
As the guitars went into a solo, found myself looking at the the guy again. His strange eyes gleamed in the darkness. It took me a while to register that he was looking straight back at me. I'll be damned if I'm pulling away this time. I held his stare, challenging it while being lost in it, It was a unique feeling. This time I didn't close my eyes, or turn away. I began to sing.
"I never opened myself this way,
Hey life is ours, we live it our own way,
Oh these words, I don't just say,
And nothing else matters, YEAH!
Trust our sin and I find in you,
Everyday for us, something new,
Open mind for a different view,
And nothing else matters.
Never cared for things they say,
Never cared for games they play,
I never cared for what they do,
I never cared for what they know,
and I know..."
"Woah dude! Snap out of it!" Said Megan, slapping me lightly to get my attention.
"What do you want!?" I said harshly, probably more than I intended. I'm sick. "Damn, I...I'm sorry...um...I need...to go." I started getting up, I was on overload. I'm a backstabbing cheater.
"Hey! it's ok babe, is something wrong," said Megan worriedly.
Damn right something's wrong, I'm a sick bastard! "Uh...no...yes...I don't know!" I walked out, pushing past people hurriedly. I reached the doors and rushed out, feeling my body relax as fresh air reached my lungs and the cool night air ran across my face. Oh god, what's happening to me!? I needed to be alone, I needed to think, as if I didn't do it enough. Just go, before you do something stupid. I headed across the street then took a detour into a gathering of trees. I could hear the light rustle of the leaves caressing the winds and the creaking sounds of night-creatures. I kept walking through the forest, feeling the wet grass sink under my feet.
A few moments later, I pushed out from under the blanket of trees and onto the cliff. The water could be heard below and the moon cast a glow on its surface. I legs gave up on me and I sat on the ground. I wrapped my arms around my legs and curled up. I've betrayed you. I was slightly surprised when I realized I wasn't going to cry. I took a deep breath and sighed. I'm so sorry.
I stepped out of Cross Roads and looked around. I couldn't see him anywhere. The thought struck me as to why I was doing this. What was I going to do if I saw him? I stopped walking around aimlessly and leaned onto a wall, sighing deeply. Our turn had ended and I'd left early, saying I wasn't feeling too well. I needed a place to think. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Why the hell did I care so much!? Why couldn't I get him out of my head? Why? Why? Why!? Stop saying why you dumbass. I shook my head and crossed the street, walking onto a grassy path that twisted into the forest. I made my way over the fallen branches. It got darker as the moon became blocked by the shade of the trees. The one place where I can be alone. As I heard the familiar sounds of running water I saw a shadow curled up on the ground. Who could...WHAT THE FUCK!?
Once again (get used to this, you'll be seeing it a lot), if you have any suggestions or comments or flames or praises or spontaneous urges to write, send them to social_indigestion@hotmail.com. It's nice to know who's reading this and if there's any point continuing. Anyway, next chapter will be up someday, later. Oz