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then. There's a
few Britishisms in here but I think you'll get the
gist of what they're on about. Don't
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Chapter 7
\\\ Nick ///
I bounced
out of bed on Monday morning, ready for a new week of school and feeling
happier than I had in ages. Barely able
to contain my excitement I bounded down the stairs and gave my mum a warm hug
with a peck on the cheek as she stood at the counter making herself some
breakfast.
"Well good
morning to you too." She said looking
confused. "What's got you so happy this
morning?" I thought back to the weekend
when I'd spent Sunday back in the music shop getting my guitar restrung as I
realised after I'd bought the strings that I had no idea how to do it
myself. Once it was all tuned up
properly I tried out a couple of songs on it, but with Adrian being there
alone, he was always distracted by customers or other things so I decided to go
home instead. It had been raining on and
off all day so rather than risk getting drenched walking home I decided to take
the bus instead. As it drove past the
park I looked out to see if anyone I knew was there but wasn't really surprised
it was empty as the weather was obviously keeping everyone away.
"I dunno,
just happy to be making friends I suppose."
I beamed. I had told Mum all
about meeting Sammie and the Fleeks over the weekend,
or the freaks as she still called them, and naturally she gave me the whole
`told you so' speech when I told her Ben and Sammie both seemed pretty cool.
"So you've
got to know Sammie and Ben a little bit now, what about Lucas? Are you going to be nice to him today?" At the very mention of Lucas' name my heart
fluttered a little. I'd spent my whole
life hating him and I thought that would be the same if I actually saw him at
school; but when I did, all I could think about was how cute he looked. I wasn't conflicted about whether to like or
hate him any more, now I was just nervous about whether he'd like me or not.
"I think I
can try." I replied, hiding my smile
behind the cupboard door as I looked for some cereal. After shovelling my breakfast down I jumped
in the shower, not even caring that it was colder than usual, and then dashed
off to school. Our timetables were
bi-weekly, which meant lessons were different every other week, so instead of
English, today's first lesson would be music theory; probably another reason
for my good mood. When I arrived at
school I went straight to the performing arts building and made my way to Mr
Evans' classroom. I waited outside for
the rest of the class to arrive as this was my first music theory lesson and I
didn't want to sit in someone else's seat.
Sammie was one of the first to arrive and she gave me that sweet smile
as she guided me into the classroom to sit with her.
"So how's
the guitar? Did you get it
restrung?" She asked, but I wanted to
talk about something else.
"Why didn't
you tell me your brother was Lucas Draper?"
I asked, looking as stony faced as I could. She seemed a bit surprised by my flat tone
and I could tell that she and Lucas had spoken about me since I last saw her.
"I didn't
know I needed to. Daz...Mr Evans wanted me
to meet you because you were passionate about music, but he never said you had
a problem with our family. When I got
home and told Lucas about you he looked pissed off saying you hated him but he
didn't know why." She explained, and I
could see the anxiety on her face. "So
is it true? Do you hate us? Do you hate me?" I suddenly started to smile which made her
even more confused.
"Nah, Saturday was probably the most fun I've ever had and I
don't care who you're related to, I couldn't be mad at you after hanging out
with you all day." I started to laugh a
little as I saw the relief wash over her face.
"You're a
prick you know that?" She said, punching
me in the arm as she said it. All that
drumming must make her pretty strong cos that punch really hurt and I think she
could tell as I rubbed my arm. "Sorry, I
didn't mean to hit you that hard."
The class
was pretty full by now and when Mr Evans walked in he immediately looked over
to where Sammie and I sat with a slightly satisfied smile spreading over his
face. All through the class we worked
together as I learned about how to read and write music. Even though I could play the guitar fairly
easily I never actually learned how to read sheet music, something I definitely
needed to know if I ever intended to write my own songs. Not that I would ever release them as I knew
they'd probably be crap, but at least I could write them down instead of having
to memorise them all the time.
After the
class both Sammie and I had a free period so we decided to commandeer one of
the practice rooms. They weren't
particularly exciting rooms but they were sound proof and had a couple of
stools and music stands. The room Sammie
took me to had an electric drum kit set up and I'd pulled an acoustic guitar
out of the store room to take in with me.
"So are you
and Lucas both into music?" I
asked. I didn't really have any
intention of playing the well-used instrument resting on my knee as I'd much
rather find out more about Lucas.
"Not in the
same way. He's never been into playing
music but he really enjoys feeling it and moving to it." She replied.
"It's a bit like the differences in our dads. My dad is really good at drawing and painting
whereas his dad is more of a sculptor."
"Wait,
what? I thought you guys were
twins." I was really confused now.
"We are, but
it's kinda weird; because our dads are gay they decided to have kids with a
surrogate. The doctors gave them the
option to have two eggs fertilised with each of their sperms and then implanted
into our mum. So technically my dad is
Alex and Lucas came from Josh."
"So you're
kinda half twins?" I asked, arching one
of my eyebrows. Sammie gave me a bit of
a weird look when I did that but it passed pretty quickly.
"I guess,
but we've been together since before we were born so you can't get much closer
than that. So what about you? Have you got any siblings?"
"No, it's
just me and my mum. She didn't want to
have any more kids with my dad as he was such an arsehole to me, but I kinda
wish I had more family around you know?"
"Don't
worry; maybe when you find the right girl you can have a big family."
"Yeah,
that's not gonna happen." I scoffed and
instantly regretted it.
"What,
you're not after a girl?" She asked, and
I suddenly felt my face heating up. "Oh
my god! So you're after a guy?" I turned away as my face felt like it was
burning up. I'd never told anyone else I
was gay, although I think my mum had her suspicions but I always hid it because
of my dad's hatred of Alex and Josh's relationship. I was always told that being gay was a bad
thing and worried that the beatings I got from my dad would be far worse if he
ever found out the truth about me.
"Don't tell
anyone, please! No one else knows." I begged with tears forming in my eyes. Sammie came over and wrapped her arm around me
as I tried to hold back the tears.
"Hey, it's
not so bad; Lucas has been out since he started school and never had a
problem. No one around here will care,
and if anyone does give you grief about it they'll have me and Lucas to deal
with, and trust me, that won't end well for them."
"Yeah but
Lucas has had it easier." I said and Sammie looked surprised. "I mean he's got you for support and his
parents are gay so it's more natural for him.
My dad was a homophobic twat so all I've known is how bad it is to be
gay." Sammie stood in front of me to
look straight in my eyes.
"Listen to
me, your dad isn't here and you've got just as much support as Lucas has. You've got me, Ben and his friends, who
really won't care about you being gay and if you ever want to talk to Lucas
about it..."
"No!! I...I mean I barely know him so it'd be weird."
"Ok...but you
can if you ever want to, and I'm sure my dads would be open for you to go to
them if you wanted." I couldn't imagine
going to see Alex or Josh about any of this, I mean, they're pretty much the
reason my dad was such a bastard to me growing up, but then again...maybe they
would be the ideal people to talk to.
"So...speaking
of Ben, what's going on with you two?" I
asked, trying desperately to change the subject. Sammie started to blush and as I predicted
she went on the defensive.
"Nothing,
our families are just pretty close, that's all."
"Pull the
other one. His friends seem to think you
both have a crush on each other but won't make the first move." I didn't think it was possible for her face
to turn any redder but it definitely did.
"We used to
see each other a few times a year before we came to this school but now we see
each other nearly every day but we just don't seem to talk."
"Right, well
today I'm officially inviting you to our table at lunch." She looked like she was going to protest but
also looked relieved at the same time.
Before she could give me a proper answer the bell rang to signal the end
of the lesson. I quickly stowed the
guitar back in the store room and dashed off back to the main building for my
next lesson.
As I walked
through the throng of students moving through the corridors I saw something in
the distance that caught my attention.
To get to my next class I had to pass by the cafeteria but on the way
towards it I saw Danny further ahead taking photos of the trophy case with his
phone. Before I could get there to see
what he was doing he suddenly disappeared into the crowds, clearly heading off
to his next lesson. When I got to the
trophy case I stopped to take a quick look into it to see what got him so
interested. Nothing had changed inside
as far as I could tell; it was still full of the same trophies and picture of
the students who'd won them over the years.
My eyes momentarily rested on one of the photos of my dad, holding the
trophy that was placed next to his photo like it was the greatest thing he'd
done in his life, which it probably was as Luke Anderson was standing next to
him, clearly the runner up but still smiling.
I turned
away as quickly as I could and carried on to my next lesson but strangely I
didn't feel the same hatred I had the previous week when I had looked in there
before. It seemed strange to be so angry
at people I'd never met, but talking about it over the weekend had helped to
ease the pain as I didn't feel any animosity towards Luke, Alex or their
families any more.
All through
my geography lesson I could barely pay attention to what we were being
taught. I spent the whole time thinking
about how my feelings had been warped for years by my father's insecurities but
now for the first time in my life I felt like I was finally starting to know my
own mind. I still hadn't forgiven my dad
for everything he'd put me through but making friends and starting afresh in
this school pushed him out of my mind, at least temporarily. Lunchtime couldn't come fast enough as I was
really looking forward to having Sammie on our table. I didn't care if we didn't get a chance to
talk, I just felt like I was playing cupid for her and Ben, which was weird as
a week ago I didn't want anything to do with either of their families.
\\\ Ben ///
"Is
something different about Lucas?" Noah
asked as we walked towards the cafeteria.
Up ahead with his `fag hags' was Lucas but I could see why Noah was
curious. His hair was now naturally over
his forehead rather than being perfectly styled and his mannerisms were less
flamboyant and much more toned down. I
wasn't sure if was actually bigger under his uniform but I'd made the suggestion
that he very gradually increases his muscle over the school year, as if he'd
been training to add a little more mass like anyone else, rather than just
exploding in size one day.
"Yeah, I
gave him a bit of a make-under yesterday to bring out the real Lucas. You don't mind if he sits with us do
you?" Lucas had just finished a group
hug with his girls and they set off to grab their usual table.
"Course not,
I'm actually curious to see what he's gonna be like now." We met up with Lucas and as we bought our
food I noticed he had loaded his plate up with more than usual, most likely to
add to the illusion that he needed more to help him bulk up. When we got to our usual table Nick was
sitting on the end with Jamie next to him while Tom sat opposite. They were already tucking into their lunches
but suddenly looked up in shock at our new guest.
"Hey guys,
you know Lucas, right? And Lucas, I
assume you know Tom and Jamie, and this new guy is Nick." As I introduced him around the table Tom and
Jamie still looked surprised but said hi anyway, Nick on the other hand looked
a little flushed and flashed a quick smile before becoming very interested in
his food. This was the first time Lucas
and Nick had been this close to each other and I could see a look of confusion
cross Lucas' face. Noah sat at the head
of the table between Tom and Nick as Lucas and I filled up the side next to
Tom. Lucas carried on looking down the
table at Nick and then suddenly nudged me before whispering in my ear.
"Why does
Nick look so familiar?" I hadn't really
studied Nick's face before but when Lucas said that I took a long look at
him. There was definitely a little
something about him that seemed familiar but I just put that down to seeing him
a few times when we were younger. Before
I could dwell on it further he looked up and caught me staring at him so I
quickly turned away which made me notice something else.
"Hey where's
Danny?" I asked. There seemed to be a wave of realisation
going around the table as everyone was suddenly aware of his absence. Jamie quickly pulled out his phone and sent a
message through our group chat asking where he was.
"Busy?" He said, reading the response, and then typed
again. "Doing what?"
"Research?" I read the response out loud. "What the fuck is he up to now?"
"I told you
that kid's like Batman when he's onto something." Tom replied.
"Fuck it, leave him to it, he'll tell us when he's done. Anyway, I'm more interested in Mr Draper's
new look, what's going on Lucas?"
"I dunno, I
guess I just decided to be myself more...with a little encouragement." He smiled at me and the guys seemed a little
surprised at the way Lucas spoke, it was almost like a completely different
voice coming out of his mouth.
"So the
whole dancing queen thing was just an act?"
Noah suddenly smacked Tom round the back of the head as Jamie was too
far away to reach.
"Thanks." He said with a cheeky smile as Tom rubbed the
back of his head. Lucas looked slightly
bewildered so I quickly filled him in on the whole ABBA thing which made him
laugh at my misfortune.
"I guess you
could say it was a bit of an act." He
said, bringing the conversation back to Tom's question. "From day one I kinda thought I might as well
be out and if I was going to tell the world I was gay then I might as well go
the whole hog." Even though he was still
trying to look nonchalant I could tell Nick was paying close attention to this
part of the conversation, further adding to my suspicions that he might
actually be gay himself.
"Hi guys,
got room for one more?" We all looked up
to see Sammie standing next to the table looking for somewhere to sit. As if on cue Nick and Jamie shuffled up to
make room at the end of the table just as Lucas made a gap next to me. Sammie
suddenly seemed to be in a dilemma about where to sit but chose to go next to
Nick, which left me feeling slightly relieved but disappointed at the same
time. Nick seemed to come alive again
when she sat down and soon the whole table was just like one big group of
friends just laughing and joking with each other for the rest of the time.
It was great
to see Lucas being himself and getting on with the rest of the guys but I was a
little disappointed that Nick barely spoke to him as he was too wrapped up in
talking to Sammie. I was finally able to
speak to Nick alone on the walk home; even though we didn't live too close I
didn't mind making a detour to keep him company. The weird thing about it was there was still
no sign of Danny. I sent him a message
as we waited at the school gates but he just replied with `Detention' which was
totally unlike him. That kid had never
been in trouble in all the time I'd known him so something was definitely going
on. We finally gave up waiting and
walked home together.
"So how has
today been for you?" I asked and watched
Nick's face light up.
"It's been
pretty good actually, I feel like I'm starting to fit in and making friends for
the first time in my life."
"So you're
ok with Lucas now?"
"Yeah I
think so, it took me a while to realise it's my dad I need to be mad at for
dumping his insecurities onto me."
"Ok, but you
still seemed a little...off with him today."
"It's just...I
dunno...I really like Sammie but I met her before I knew she was part of that
family, whereas I've known about Lucas for years so turning off that hatred's
kinda hard." Something didn't sit right
with me when he said that as I could see that there was a yearning there for
him to get to know Lucas but something was holding him back. I decided not to push him any more on the subject
as it seemed like something we could work out next time they were
together. We spent the rest of the walk
talking about his music interests but I noticed he sometimes brought up the
bands that Sammie liked as well. I saw
the smile creep across his face a few times when I asked about her interests
and I could tell he was trying not to tease me about it. I was glad he didn't though as I felt a bit
out of touch with Sammie so I wanted to know more about what she liked and this
was easier than asking her directly.
As we
approached his road I noticed a familiar car pulling out of the junction and
driving away from us.
"What's my
uncle doing around here?" I asked out
loud. "You reckon he's been to see your
mum?" Nick seemed to tense up a little
at that, then just said he had to go and took off home before I could even say
goodbye.
\\\ Nick ///
"MUM?!" I burst through the front door, not knowing
what to expect. I knew Mum and Luke had
a history together, which ended badly when Mum cheated on him with Dad, so I
was really worried that they'd met up again and things had gotten ugly.
"What's up
hon?" She asked as she came out of the
kitchen. She had a strange glow about
her and for the first time in years she looked genuinely happy. It kinda took me by surprise and I didn't
know quite how to react. "Are you ok?"
"I...yeah...has
Luke Anderson just been here?" I blurted
out and I could see she was a little surprised by the question.
"Yeah he
came round a little while ago to see how we were doing." She seemed very apprehensive as she told me
this, like she was expecting me to explode into a rage, but since things had
changed with Ben and Lucas I didn't know how to react anymore. "It seems your friend Ben has been telling
his uncle all about our situation..."
"HE
WHAT?!?! I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!!!" I shouted, reaching for the door as I knew
Ben would still be nearby.
"Nicholas
David Heeley you calm down right now!!"
Uh oh, I knew I was in big trouble by the way she used my full name and
I instantly recoiled from her as she hadn't spoken to me like that in
years. "Now you sit right there and
listen to me before you go flying off the handle." I sat down on the stairs as she stood between
me and the door, her face still looking stern as I knew she was about to bollock
me.
"I'm sorry;
I just didn't think he'd go blabbing it around town." I said as tears started to creep down my
cheeks. Mum's face started to soften as
she gently stroked my hair for comfort.
"It's not a
bad thing that he told his family, to tell you the truth I'm glad Luke
knows. I really didn't want to pretend
everything was ok if I bumped into him in town and I didn't know how I would
explain everything to him, or if I even wanted to, so Ben's done me a favour
there."
"So what did
he have to say?" I asked as she sat next
to me.
"Not much at
first because I started babbling and apologising for treating him so
badly." She showed me that shy smile
that I'd definitely inherited from her, along with the ability to babble like
an idiot when I was flustered.
"Eventually we were able to talk normally and just caught up on all the
things that had been happening over the years.
It seems he and his brother are doing pretty well with their comic store
empire; he even said you could have a bit of a spending spree on him if you
wanted."
"Hmmm...free
comics? Let me think." I said, striking a dramatic thinking
pose. "Nah, I don't think I could. It'd be too weird taking advantage like
that." Even though we were living in a
shithole I still didn't think it was fair to take advantage of people's
charity. I could live without a few
comics for the time being and just save up for the ones I wanted.
"Well you
can always use my staff discount if you want any." She smiled as I realised what this
meant. "Luke offered me some hours in
the shop in town, at least to tide us over until I can find something better."
"That's
pretty cool of him, and I might go and see if I can get a little job in the
music store or something to help out."
"That'll be good;
just don't let your school work suffer."
She said, and then went off to the kitchen to make us some food.
The rest of
the week flew by pretty quickly, Lucas and Sammie joined our table a couple
more times but also had a couple of days where they went to their other friends
so they didn't seem to be ditching them.
I still couldn't pluck up the courage to talk to Lucas though, I mean,
what would I say? "Hey I know I'm so far
in the closet that I'm chilling with Aslan but would you like to be my secret
boyfriend?" Probably not the best way to
start out but I didn't even know if we had anything in common. I didn't want to ask Sammie about him for
fear of her becoming some sort of match maker between us so I tried to change
the subject to Ben as much as possible to see if I could help get them
together. I may have blown it though as
I think she now thinks I have a crush on Ben as I talk about him so much to
her.
Danny came
back to sit with us most lunchtimes as well and even walked home with Ben and I
some nights, but there were still a couple of times when he'd disappear
randomly with no one knowing where he'd gone.
Any time we asked him about it he just sat there, tight lipped but with
a sly smile on his face. The kid was up to something but none of us could work
out what.
Outside of
school I was able to speak to Adrian about a part time job and, even though he
couldn't pay very much, he agreed to let me work a couple of hours after school
on a Thursday as that was when he had his delivery of new instruments that would
need tuning and checking over before they went on sale. It was a pretty easy job and meant I got to
play the instruments, purely to check them out and not for my own pleasure,
honest.
Mum seemed
to be doing ok at the comic shop as she'd worked in retail before,
unfortunately she didn't know much about what she was selling but thankfully
she had a bit of a comic book geek for a son so I was able to fill her in on a
few things. I went into the shop for the
first time after school one day while Mum was still at work and I was blown
away by the amount of stuff I wanted to buy.
There were replicas of props from films as well as awesome looking
superhero costumes, some even in glass cases as they looked specially made for
some real life heroes.
I also met
the owners for the first time while I was there. I knew Sam and Luke were identical twins but
it was easy enough to tell them apart; Luke was definitely the more athletic of
the two and it didn't surprise me that he was rivals with my dad. What did surprise me though was why my mum
left him for my dad, I mean, he was much nicer and friendlier and both of them
were pretty funny together. He seemed a
bit apprehensive of me at first though, almost worried about making a bad
impression or worried that I might hate him but after a few minutes he relaxed
and opened up more. I kinda wished my
mum had stayed with him to be honest but I guess if she had then I wouldn't be
here, so obviously that couldn't happen.
It messes with my head to think about it; she could've stayed with him
and maybe been happy but without me around, which kinda makes me feel guilty
for being born to that shit stain I had to call a father, and making her feel
she had to stay with him.
Mum was
right about Luke wanting me to have a spending spree in the shop though as he
said I could help myself and grab any comics I wanted. I felt like Abu from Aladdin in the cave of
wonders as I looked around but I couldn't bring myself to take anything
(although there was a funky looking lamp on a top shelf which would've fit in
with my Abu analogy). I told Luke I'd
feel bad for taking anything so he compromised and insisted I grab a graphic
novel of my choice from the shelf and I could have it for free. I agonised over my decision for ages though
as I really wanted some of the ones my dad had trashed but they had a few gay
themes in them and I didn't want anyone getting suspicious. In the end I plumped for a Batman story I'd
wanted to read for a while as it seemed like a safer option.
While I
waited for Mum to finish her shift Luke called me into the little office at the
back of the shop looking really nervous.
"What's
up?" I asked.
"Ok, I know
this is going to sound really corny but I know about what's happened in the
past with your dad and I really don't want to make any of that any worse but...would
you be ok with me taking your mum out at the weekend?" He was acting really flustered, which seemed
totally opposite to how he had been earlier.
Before I could even answer he jumped in again. "Just as friends, you know to catch up...I'm
not trying to replace your dad or anything..."
I thought about it for a minute as I really didn't want her to get hurt,
but it wasn't fair to stop her.
"Ok, but
have her home by ten." I said, as
deadpan as I could manage.
"Umm...ok, I
guess we can do that." I think I took
him completely off-guard with that as he looked like he wanted to protest but
didn't want to upset me.
"And you
have to pay for everything for her." I
added.
"Not a
problem." He seemed a little more sure about
granting that request, like he intended to anyway.
"And no
funny business."
"Funny
business?"
"You
know..." I made a circle with my thumb and
forefinger and then poked my other forefinger through it a few times to make a
point. Luke started to flush with
embarrassment as I tried desperately to stay straight faced. "I'm taking the piss, you're adults; do
whatever you like." I said with a huge
smile, watching as it dawned on him that I was winding him up.
"You little
shit!! I thought you were serious for a
minute." He said as he relaxed and we
both burst out laughing. "I'll get you
back for that one day." I was almost
worried after the way my dad used to threaten me but I could see he was
genuinely amused. We went back onto the
shop floor as Mum looked curious at what we were laughing about. Luke then surprised me by grabbing another
graphic novel from the shelf (the second part to the one I'd chosen earlier)
and handed it to me with a wink. After
the place closed Mum and I grabbed some food from a takeaway and ate it as we
walked home.
"What was
all that about with Luke earlier?" She
asked.
"He was
asking me permission to take you out at the weekend. Naturally I said no because you've got
housework to do." I replied with a
cheeky smile.
"You little
shit." She giggled.
"Funny, he
said the same thing when we were talking.
Seriously though, I'm fine with you seeing him, he seems pretty decent."
"What about
if we got more serious though, would you be ok with him being around more?" She asked, and I thought about it for a few
moments.
"I suppose
so, as long as I don't have to start calling him dad or anything." I noticed a look of relief on Mum's face as
she'd possibly been pining for Luke for a while. Could it be that she brought us back here in
the hopes of rekindling their romance? It
didn't sound too far-fetched but hopefully this isn't just a rebound thing
that's doomed to fail. Maybe they could
be right for each other after all.