Everything is Beautiful

I really ought to go. I promised Mum I'd be back at the caravan by now, but it's been such a lovely hot day, and I really want to finish this sandcastle. I know the sea'll wash it away, or someone'll kick it down, but it's the best one I've ever done and -- and --

"Peter!"

Who said that? Who called me?

"I did!"

Who are you? Where are you?

"I'm here!"

I've been in the sun too long. I'm hearing things now. Hang on -- I've been in the sun all afternoon -- I should be sunburnt by now, it's been the hottest day all holiday --

"You will never burn, Peter. You will never be damaged or hurt again!"

"OK, enough now. Who said that? And how do you know what I'm thinking?"

"I know all about you, Peter, you're my chosen one!"

I'm going crazy. The sun's got me. I'd better get Mum to take my temperature, and give me a pill or something-

"You're not crazy, and your temperature's perfect, Peter. You don't need any medicines either. There's nothing wrong with you, you're healthier than you've ever been."

"Right, that's it. Who are you? Where the -- where the- where are you?"

Why can't I say -- say --

"You don't need to swear, Peter. In fact, you can't swear now. I'm here, on the rug. If you want to see me, you will!"

"F -- f - -. Sh -- s - - . What the - - !"

"What words, Peter? You don't know those words. You don't need them now!"

"Oh, Jesus!"

"No, my name's Simon. Jesus let me choose you!"

This is -- oh my! What's that?"

"Do you want to see me, Peter? Don't be scared!"

"B-but it's just -- fog, mist -- what are you?"

"I'm what you'd call your Guardian Angel, Peter. I watch out for you, I watch over you, I see everything you do, I know everything you think!"

"Everything?!"

"Yes, that as well. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with doing that, or thinking about them!"

"B-but I -- I -"

"Look at me, Peter. See me and you will understand!"

"See you? How? You're -- there's just a mist, a shadow -- oh --oh!"

"Can you see me better now, Peter?"

"But you - you're an -- an -"

"An Angel? Yes, I told you I was!"

"B -- but you've got -- wings!"

"Of course I have. I told you, I'm an Angel!"

"You -- you're - "

"Go on, say it!"

"You're beautiful!"

"Thank you, Peter. I'm glad you like me!"

"Can I -- touch you?"

"If you want to, Peter, of course you can. I'm as real as you are, I just live on a different level to you!"

"You're -- naked!"

"We don't need clothes, Peter. Nor do you now!"

"My trunks! Where are my trunks!"

"They're still there, but you can't see them. You don't need them now, Peter!"

"But I --I'm -"

"I can see. It's natural, Peter. It's love. Do you love me?"

"I -- I -"

"Come to me, Peter. It's your time."

"But -"

"Don't be scared. It doesn't hurt!"

"What will happen?"

"You'll be with me, forever!"

"What will we do?"

"Everything you've ever wanted to do, and lots more. Far too much to describe!"

"Everything?"

"Everything. And it'll be better than you've ever imagined, even in your wildest dreams. You've had a few wild dreams, haven't you, Peter?"

"Yes I -- how do you know? Oh yes, you said. Hang on, did you give me those dreams?"

"No, like everything you've done, they were your own free choice. I just became part of a couple of them, that's all!"

"But I thought those things were wrong -"

"There is no wrong, Peter. Just different versions of right. Most people don't understand what they don't feel, and they call it wrong. But everything is there for a reason!"

"Even -"

"Even feeling that way about other boys? Yes, Peter, there's a reason for it. You don't understand yet, but you soon will!"

"What about the really bad things, and bad people?"

"The suffering, the inhumanity, famines, tortures and cruelty? The Saddam Husseins, Adolf Hitlers, Genghis Khans, and Vlad the Impalers you've heard about?

"Yes!"

"There are reasons for them all. You'll accept it when you understand!"

"What about pain, and death? What about all the innocent people who get killed?

"They are the downside of free choice. No one would ever know if they'd made a wrong decision unless they or someone else got hurt or died because of it."

"But -"

"There has been far more pain and suffering since the world began than you could ever imagine, Peter. It's all had its reasons. Do you remember playing with that plastic aeroplane in your kitchen eight years ago? And wanting to see it crash in flames?"

Oh yes, I remember that. I set fire to it from the cooker gas ring, and threw it across the room.

"Yes, I lit it from the cooker and threw it. It landed on the newspaper and set fire to that, and I had to throw a panful of water over it. I burnt my finger, and Dad got mad at me and smacked me so hard I couldn't sit all day."

"Exactly. And do you know how many lives that saved?"

"No?"

"Eight."

"How?"

"Who did you tell about it?"

"Billy and John, at school, but what -"

"If you hadn't burnt that plane, and told them, Billy would have done something similar with a toy car a few months later, but he wouldn't have been able to put the fire out, and he, his mum, dad and sister would have burnt to death. The young couple who lived in the flat above them would have died from the smoke, but before they did, they'd have dropped their baby twins out of the window. The babies would have died from their injuries, one the next day and the other three days later.

Oh my! I'm so glad I told them.

"Is that what I was put here for?"

"Some of it, yes, Peter. Everyone and everything has a purpose!"

"Do I have to come now?"

"It's your choice. You can stay if you want!"

"And what happens to me if I stay?"

"Whatever you decide to do!"

"I don't know!"

"You'll know everything, Peter! You'll see everything, all the beauty of this world, and all the others in the universe, for all time!"

"But Mum! And Dad!"

"They'll be sad for a long time, Peter. They'll never forget you, but they've got another son coming - "

"Another son? Who? How?"

"He'll be called Steven. Steven Peter James McCulloch. He was conceived last night and - "

"Last night?"

"Didn't you hear them? I know you did, and what it made you feel!"

"I -- I -"

"Don't be embarrassed, you were just celebrating the love of your parents and the conception of your brother!"

"You really do know everything I do?"

"Yes, Peter, that's because I chose you. I've watched over you for nearly fifteen years, I've watched you grow since you were conceived -"

"I don't want to know about that!"

"Look at me, Peter. Nothing is bad, nothing is wrong. Everything is beautiful, in its own way!"

"That's an old song!"

"Exactly. Why do you think someone wrote that song? We try to spread the word, about the beauty in the world, and why it was created, in all sorts of ways!"

"So you planted the idea in his mind?"

"Not me. His own Guardian Angel. He saw that the man he was watching over -- Harry Ragsdale, although he calls himself Ray Stevens now -- was having difficulty writing a new song, so he set the seed of `Everything is Beautiful' in his mind!"

"That's amazing!"

"So is everything in the universe, Peter. That's how it was designed to be, and why it goes on!"

Does he really want me to go with him? What shall I do?

"Do what you feel is right, Peter!"

"I don't know! Help me!"

"You do know, Peter. Deep inside, you know what you want!"

"Tell me what to do!"

"Have you decided, Peter?"

"You know I have, Simon!"

"Then kiss me, Peter!"

"Kiss you?"

"Isn't that what you want to do? Haven't you always wanted to kiss a boy like me, Peter?"

"I never thought it would be one as beautiful as you, Simon!"

Here goes -- if this is only a dream I'll --

"Mmmmmm!"

"How do you feel now, Peter?"

"Wonderful!"

"Welcome to Heaven!"

Occasionally a picture will inspire a story, and in this case it was a drawing -- a beautiful one too. It's by the amazing yaoi artist P.L.Nunn and it's called `Evangelion' and it's on her website http://bishonenworks.com/art_gallery/main/display.php?id=9&count=12 . I hope you enjoy it, please let me know. Roy.

sunbeamtb@yahoo.co.uk