Friday The 13th!!!
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Do you believe in luck? You know what I am talking about, like the good luck you can supposedly get if you were to find a four leaf clover. There is also the classic lucky charms such as a rabbit's foot or a lucky coin. As a young boy, I heard of all kinds of examples of good luck but as much as I heard about them, I never seem to get lucky enough to see them.
They say everything has its opposite and the same is true with luck. There's the good variety that everyone wants, and then its opposite which is... well, if you don't know the answer to that, then you are either too young or too stupid. Anyway, with me, I truly believe in in all this. My problem is that my luck is rarely good, in fact it is in most cases very bad!
Now it isn't like I am doing things to make myself a target for bad luck. For some reason some adults believe that I have actually been the source of my own bad luck! If my luck wasn't bad enough, there were other things that seemed to make it worse. I guess they are called bad omens. In fact, I do my best to avoid everything that could possibly give me bad luck, including these omens: I am very careful around mirrors, I avoid all cracks in sidewalks, and if I see a black cat, I will go way out of my way to keep from walking across its path; I hope you get the idea here. Surviving those I still had other things to watch out for that was famous for handing out doses of bad luck, like certain days of the year were famous for that. Friday the 13th was the unholiest of these bad luck days and the one I had to be the most careful on! Some of the worst luck I had occurred on Friday the 13th's, so I do know the power of the bad luck that they can bring!
Several adults in my life, my parents included, call this an irrational fear and have tried to get me to realize this. They even threatened to send me to one of those Doctors who see crazy people like my mom... Anyway, the closest they ever got was having me see someone through the school system. She came in and saw me once a week starting when I was 10. At first I looked at it as some sort of punishment but in the end I found that actually enjoyed her visits.
She would talk to me about ALL my fears, like the fact that I'm still afraid of the dark, and how I'm always afraid of getting picked on for my size. As we talked, I explained to her that I didn't know why I was still scared of the dark at my age. I didn't think it had anything to do with my belief that I was cursed with `Bad Luck' but instead it was more of a fear that I just couldn't explain. A fear that made it impossible for me to sleep without leaving the hall light and both of my night lights on nightly. Even still today at 13 I am still a little afraid of the dark. We also discussed my fear of forever being a small kid and forever being picked on by my classmates. I had noticed long ago that all the others kids had started to grow, but I seemed to have stopped, or was growing at a much slower rate than everyone else. This easily made me the shortest kid in my class.
At the age of ten I had yet to notice the difference between my `pee-pee' (what I called my prick back then) and other kids' `pee-pees' that were my age. In fact, at that age, other than myself and my little brother Tommy, I hadn't seen any other boys naked. I am not sure what it is like in other grade schools, but in ours, we had 2 private one-person bathrooms in each classroom for grade school students. One bathroom was for boys, and the other one was for girls (which, back then, I still thought of as *icky*). I didn't do sleepovers, so that didn't give me the chance to see any nude boys. It wasn't that I didn't want to be one of the guys and have a sleepover with a friend; no, it was just that I didn't have any good enough friends that would ever invite me to one.
Oh! I just realized that I have been standing here talking to you about luck and not seeing naked boys instead of introducing myself. My name is Mathew Peter Todd, but everyone just calls me Matty. I really hate the name 'Mathew'; it just doesn't sound like me and I have never gone by it. Really, the only times I ever hear that name are from new or substitute teachers, and when I am in trouble (and then it's my full name), and boy, I will tell you what, if my parents use my full name, it's time to hide! But like I said, I have been Matty as long as I can remember and I am used to that name, so it's just what I go by.
I was born at 1:03am on April 13th, 2001 and before you ask, yes it was a Friday. Now some of you may say that proves my theory wrong right from the start as the miracle of life proves that Friday the 13th was a good luck date for me. What you don't know was that this was not almost the case at all! I was very premature baby and not due for another 13 weeks (There is that damn unlucky number again!), but there had been some complications and because of it, both Mom and me, still inside of her, were dying. I didn't understand this when I was first told this story of my birth but as I got older and heard the story retold more times than I could count, I began to understand it better; especially when Mom took the time to explain things better to me.
This is what she explained to me, I still don't understand it all but more than I did before. That night they had to do an immediate what she called a `C-section' on her to get me out of her. Things were very touch and go for both her and me for the next couple days, but she did finally recover and get to go home. As for me, I was so premature that I was placed in the NICU and that was where I stayed for a little over a month before my parents were allowed to take me home. The very first night of my life, mom explained was a very bad night for me. When they pulled me out of her I was not breathing and the doctors had a hard time getting me to again. If that had just been it, maybe I wouldn't have lumped my birth in with my bad luck. No that wasn't it, there was more. None of the doctor thought that I was going to survive the night. They even said if I did make it, I would have brain damage. That night I died another 7 times before morning even came!
For those who say I was lucky as I did survive, I guess it is all in how you look at it. My parents were constantly worried about me because of my struggle at the hospital. For a long time they worried if this was going to be my last day alive. Then when I did finally come home, a whole new worrying began, was I going to be okay or was I going to have problems with some sort of mental issues later in life. This was hard on them the most from what I was told as they wouldn't know until I reached a certain point in my life where signs of those types of problems can definitely appear. Now I guess you could say that I am lucky that I didn't end up with brain damage or anything but I do have some social skill issues that could have been caused from all of this. This could also explain my slow growth and why I have yet to reach or even look close to reaching puberty.
I can't stand being smaller than everyone else and looking like a little kid and not like a teenager. It can be really embarrassing at times for me, and when you add to the fact that my prick is so small that kids make jokes about needing to use a microscope to find it, it doesn't make it any better at all! The last time Mom took me to my doctor, he promised me that I will grow but that I needed to be patient. As for puberty, he told me I might not enter puberty until I was 16 or 17 years old, or it could happen in 6 months. The biggest thing he wanted to stress for me... I needed to stop worrying about all that and just be a kid. Of course it is hard not to think about, when being one of the shortest and weakest boys in school makes you a target for bullies.
Well, that's my story, I guess. At least, part of it. There's more, but... maybe later. I will say this, though: being 13 is an awkward age, especially when you don't feel or for that matter, look 13! Then again, my birthday was only a couple months ago to the day! That is right, it is June 13th, 2014 and another freaking Friday the 13th. My original plans for today were just to hide out in my room and read a book, only coming out to use the bathroom and to eat. I had no plans to put myself in the way of the curse of Friday the 13th. Unfortunately, my plans got totally fucked up and I didn't even know that it was going to happen until yesterday!
When I found out yesterday afternoon that I was going to be spending my whole summer vacation with my dad and his new girlfriend (ugh...) in Europe, I was totally against it! I know, I know...I bet a lot of you are saying, 'What is wrong with you for not wanting to go to Europe for the summer?' Well, when your parents are separated and your father is a jerk who cares more about his work than his own son, it really sucks. It can get super dull being a 12 year old kid stuck in an apartment all day long with a babysitter who pretty much ignores you and won't let you do anything fun. I don't have any game consoles, because Dad thinks my video games are 'too violent,' and if I try to use the computer or anything like that, the babysitter has strict orders from him to not let me (which is pointless because it has a password anyway). I begged Mom to convince Dad that I don't need a babysitter this year since I'm a teenager, but I was shocked when my own mother agreed with him! She explained that I would be in a strange place, all by myself, and a babysitter could possibly take me out to see the sights (yeah, right). Plus she had to remind me that I 'just turned 13' and even though she trusts me to be by myself for a few hours, she would never leave me alone all day. And here I thought I was going to have the freedom to do pretty much what I wanted this summer.
At first it wasn't that big a deal because Mom had cut back her hours after school ended for summer. If I had known that the reason she was doing this was not only to allow me to prove to her that I could be responsible, but also because she wanted to spend as much time with me as she could before I left (on the 'vacation' they still hadn't told me about yet!), I would have thrown a huge fit! Why can't my parents trust me to be alone?! It's not like I am going to be alone overnight! Why the hell hadn't either of them mentioned anything about him having to go and spend the whole summer with my dad in Europe sooner?!
There are other things about my Dad that I don't like. For one, he still believes in corporal punishment, and I am not talking about some sort of military punishment! When I say corporal punishment, I am talking about physical punishment, the kind that includes getting your bare butt beat until it is black and blue! I am here to let you know right this moment that my butt just doesn't like that you see! Plus there is his newest acquisition, the girlfriend (ugh!). I just know he wants to parade me around her to show me off. I swear, if she tries to pinch my cheeks or pat my bottom, I will bite her, and hard! I don't care if Dad spanks my butt until it falls off, she better not try that and she better not invade my privacy! I may look like a little kid, but God, I am a freaking teenager now and it doesn't give women the right to pinch and prod me!
As I was saying, I found out all this just the day before I had to leave! To make matters worse, since he was in Europe for the year for business, I would be required to fly there on the most unlucky of all days! I am not sure if my dad was utterly clueless these days or just didn't care about my fears when he booked this ticket. Why couldn't he have at least chosen a different date to make the flight? It didn't stop there either, as I was about to be broadsided with something even worse! Not only was I going to be flying all the way to Europe in a plane, but I was going to fly there all by myself! Dad wasn't going to pay for Mom to just come with me and then pay for her to just go back and he didn't have the time himself to come and get me. That meant I was going to be stuck in a metal tube thousands of feet above the ocean all by myself... I was terrified. Now I had seen enough movies where airplanes crashed and pretty much everyone onboard is toast. You can see why flying, scared the shit out of me! Add in the unluckiness of Friday the 13th and it was like I was begging for bad luck to happen.
Luck and my feelings towards my dad weren't the only reasons I didn't want to go, I had another reason too. If you haven't figured it out yet, I wasn't a popular kid in school. I had a few so called friends that I talked to but outside of school we never got together. I found this really hard growing up and not having any friends to play with other than my younger brother *sigh* and a few other younger children in the neighborhood.
This all changed about a month before school let out for the summer. A new family moved into the area and they had a son my age, David. I got to know him little by little over the last few weeks of school. I was afraid that eventually someone would tell him to not hang out with me because of my bad rep at school and that would be the end of our friendship, so I didn't want to get to emotionally attached, especially since I knew that I could easily fall for him. As I said before, I have some so called friends... um... what do you call them? Anyway that doesn't matter. Like with those friends at school, David started to hang with us. It didn't take a genius to see that he too was picked on a lot due to being short. Now he wasn't as short as I was but he wasn't that much taller either and he got real mouthy with the bullies which just made things worse for him. The more I hung out with David at school, the more I wanted our friendship to go beyond school but never got the nerve to ask him over.
Luck changed for me and for once I thought I was going to finally have all good luck. I didn't know it at the time, but David was on vacation with his parents and had just got back this week. Out of the blue he called me a few days before my surprised trip and wanted to know if I could come over to his house. I couldn't believe it; I was actually being invited over to his home! For the next few days we hung out with each other for the first time outside of school. I don't know why we didn't do it before; I guess he was just as afraid to ask as I was? Whatever the reason... it doesn't matter.
I would never tell him this, but he was kind of cute and I did have several fantasies of him in a diaper. I also wondered if he ever wet the bed or had diaper fantasies. I didn't really think that this was the case but it didn't stop me from thinking it. There was also the constant lookout for any sign to tell me if he might be gay or not, so far I had no idea if he was or not. It was quite possible that he himself didn't even know if he was gay or straight. I know this may sound sick and perverted; I have tried everything I could to possibly see him naked but so far have not been lucky enough to be able to. It really isn't easy to do and that was why I was really hyped up for our first planned sleepover together. I knew that it would be my best chance to see him naked and I wanted to try something as well, I wanted to have a Mountain Dew drinking contest and see who could drink the most before we go to sleep. I thought if he had any wetting problems at all, if he drank enough, he would hopefully wet the bed.
Besides my stupid fantasies of David, we both have a lot of similar taste. Both of us like reading and even though we are 13, watching cartoons. We also enjoyed playing pretend games as if we were little kids. This was because we both still had very active imaginations that we absolutely refused to give up. I think I learned somewhere that Walt Disney made some famous quote about not giving up your imagination, but I could be wrong. Besides that impending sleepover, we ended up making plans for our summer together. I was so excited about the sleepover; I had rushed home to ask Mom about it because for some reason the phone was constantly busy every time I tried to call the house. David's mom was okay with it and didn't mind if it was at her house or mine, I wanted it at mine so I could do the Mountain Dew challenge. I could grab my brother's old mattress protector as I knew where it was and put it on my bed, as it would fit it. Turns out, this was yesterday! That's right, I get home and not only find out that I would not be able to do a sleepover with David this summer, but I am getting shipped out on a surprised vacation the very next day.
No one bothered to tell me anything about this vacation until then. At least Mom apologized and gave me a reason why she didn't tell me. Knowing that there was nothing I could do to keep from having to go I at least thought that Dad would call me that evening. I guess hoping and wishing for something like that to happen is pointless. I really don't understand my dad. He says he loves me and all but he really never seems to show it. I am not talking about presents and money; I am talking about personal attention from him and thoughtfulness. Like this last birthday he didn't call or even send a card to me. Last week I got one of those cards that hold money with $5 in it from him. There was not even any message (printed or personal) on the card except for a dollar sign and had nothing to do with a birthday and didn't even sign it. If it hadn't been for his name on the outside of the envelope, I wouldn't have even known who it came from. I really just felt like my dad didn't care for me at all and had more fun using me as a way to hurt Mom, I mean what a dick!
So here I am, on my way to get in line to check in for my flight. No matter how hard I try not to be, I am scared shitless at the thought of flying all by myself. This would be my first flight ever (that I remember of) and I am one little bundle of nerves. My biggest fear, as I already pointed out, is that I just know somehow the curse of Friday the 13th is going to get me! That's when all the thoughts of bad luck on Friday the 13th leave my head, because that is when I first notice the boy directly in front of me!
I just couldn't believe my eyes! Was it really possible that I, `Matty Todd' could actually get lucky in an airport of all places? A part of me still doubted this was possible, another part of me wanted desperately to believe my luck had turned. The boy was so gorgeous that I could only think of one word to describe him, GOD, or more precise, BOY-GOD. He was standing right in front of me in the ticket and luggage check-in line at the JFK International Airport. I noticed he was standing with a couple of adults that I assumed were his parents as they had similar features as he did. Since Mom and I were right behind them, I had a real close up look of not only the parents, but also of their cute energetic son. You may be asking why seeing a boy would make me feel so lucky all of a sudden? When you consider the fact that after he and his family leaves the line, I would most likely never see him again... well hold on and I will explain.
The cute boy looked to be around 9 or 10 years of age but due to my own size issues, I have to admit that I wasn't 100% certain. If he was anything like me, he could easily have been a little older or even younger than that. He had stylish light blond hair and crystal blue eyes that you could just dive into and die happy. His milk-white-skin looked perfect, with the only sign of blemish, being that of a cute smattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose. When I say milk-white-skin I don't mean skin that looks like something that has never been touched by the sun either. No, the boy didn't have a deep tan but he did have some color in his skin which did show he had been out in the sun, unlike me. His skin was just milk-white, with the slightest tan to it. This all lent to his beauty and made my eyes want to pop out of my head even more as I drank (I wasn't sure but I think that is the right word here.) in every inch of him.
Now if you think I was basing my luck on the fact that this boy was cute, you would be dead wrong, or at least mostly. What made this an extremely lucky find for me and had gotten my attention was something totally different! You see, I have a big secret; well actually I have two. The one I am talking about here at this moment deals with what the boy was wearing. There was no way possible that I couldn't miss it being right behind him and it being something that my eyes instantly focused on as soon as they saw the white gleam come from it. The cutie had no idea that his shorts had ridden down some in the back and was now exposing a good portion of the back top of his diapered tush. A part of me wanted to do the right thing and let him know that his diaper was showing, but another part of me wouldn't let me do it. I was just enjoying staring at his diapered bum too damn much. I really liked diapers and while I myself wanted to wear diapers more than anything, seeing another older boy close to my age in diapers was just as amazing!
Sure enough, my damn prick had to get a stiffy. It never failed, any time I saw an ad for diapers on TV, or one in a magazine, I always got one. I also got them if I saw a boy who had wet their pants, like at school or just out in public. It has been a while since I had seen a kid my age or even near my age wet themselves but bedwetters my age or slightly younger were still a common find. The easiest way to detect them was by smell as you passed them in the hallway. Those who didn't wash themselves good enough after wetting the bed would often come to school and reek of stale or even fresh urine. Already this last school year I knew of a couple of boys who always came to school and smelled of piss. One was an 11 year old 6th grader and the other was in my year, which was the 7th grade. I am sure that both boys will be going on to the next grade after the summer is over and school resumes. As for me, I didn't do so well this last school year, in fact I haven't been doing that great for the last couple and should have been held back each year. Instead Mom had them stick me in `Special Ed.' for a few of my classes and asked that I please not be held back. When I failed again last year, I was put into `Special Ed.' full time, other than gym and my two elective classes. Too bad I couldn't have skipped gym! Because I failed once again, Mom finally agreed with the schools assessment, to have me held back this year and repeat the 7th grade. So there goes my bad luck once again! As for those two boys that were bedwetters, I think the older one if I remember right, turns 13 later this month. I had overheard him telling someone about his 13th birthday coming up on the last day of school. Because it was obvious and neither of the 2 boys bathed or showered for one reason or another before they came to school, they both were made fun of and teased worse than me. I tried to talk to both of them, and I found it very difficult to ever get them talking, especially if it was on the topic dealing with their issue. I tried once to ask them why they never washed up before they came to school so no one would know, but they both seem to take what I asked the wrong way. The even sadder thing about this is that I even tried to get the boys to meet each other so they would know they were not alone, even that failed. In the end, I began to think they thought I was more their enemy than their friend and due to a past experience, I decided to not push it with them.
As for my other deep secret, if you haven't figured it out yet, well here it goes. This last year, I have noticed something else that has been getting my prick all stiff and funny feeling. At first I didn't understand at all why it was happening. Then over a course of a week during Gym class, we were introduced to a special week long course that we even had to get our parents signatures to take. At first my mom wasn't too sure about me taking the course as she knew I was nowhere near ready but the last thing she really wanted is for me to learn about it on the playground from my peers, so in the end signed the permission slip. That course was sex education and it gave me the beginning of an understanding of what else my prick was good for besides peeing. More than that, I started to realize why I was getting all those stiffies. This just made me dread the possibility that those damn assholes in the locker room were right about me all along after all! How was it possible that they could have maybe known, long before even I knew the truth! I tried to deny it, but it kept happening and no matter what I tried. Whether it was at school, or on TV, or just out somewhere, I kept getting sexually aroused by other boys. Then I found myself dreaming about doing stuff with other boys, and not just regular playful stuff, but the sex stuff we heard about in sex ed. There were certain boys that the moment I saw them, my little 2½ inch prick would go... *BOING* in my underpants.
It didn't take me very long from this point to also figure out that I had no interest in girls at all, at least in a sexual sense. As for boys, I had several that I wanted to date and kiss and do all kinds of naughty things with. I knew what this meant and I also knew that I could never have these things where I lived. You see, I lived in a small conservative community just outside of New York City, NY and there was in no way that being gay was going to be acceptable. I would be a circus freak in my school and would probably get my ass kicked every day. I would certainly lose the few friends I did have left. The day I realized this, was the first time I really considered suicide as my answer out of this mess. I mean, look at me; I was a complete weirdo who likes diapers and now I find out I am gay too! Once again bad luck finds its way into my life, this time in my genes. I guess that would be the way it would be, because I definitely didn't choose to like diapers or be gay!
That day, I walked home from school and before Mom came home from work, I wrote my goodbye letter to her. I begged her to not show it to anyone else, not even Dad as I didn't want anyone else knowing the truth. Because I loved her though, I knew she deserved it and so I told her. I laid out my heart to her and even though I knew she herself had already been hurting, which I apologized for, I too was also hurting beyond what any 12 year old should have too. I then sealed it into an envelope and using my bathrobe belt, I tried to hang myself from the bunk beds in the spare bedroom.
I am not sure if it was a good luck thing or a bad luck thing that a bathrobe belt and a kid who never learned how to tie a proper noose, actually kept that plan from succeeding or not. I just hung there until I thought my head was going to pop because I couldn't breathe. The hanging part never actually did what I expected. Instead, what it did, was cut off my oxygen flow so that I couldn't breathe and my head started to pulse and hurt to the point where it became unbearable. I also made the mistake of leaving the chair in my reach when I stepped off of it. As you can guess, I chickened out because I couldn't take the pain anymore, and my feet quickly found the chair again. Not wanting anyone to know of my failure, I tore that letter up in a million pieces and flushed it down the toilet. The bathrobe belt left bruises and light scars around my neck, to hide these; I used turtlenecks for the next week or so. I never told anyone about that failure and I decided that if I was meant to die, then I would have. I also hated myself for quite a while after that because I knew I hadn't been fair to Mom as I was supposed to be there for her.
Of all the boys I have ever had a crush on; none of them have ever been as cute and as adorable as the diaper boy in line, right in front of me. The thing is, just because I am small for my age, doesn't mean he is too. How young is too young, would I be some pedo if I were lusting after some kid who was 3 or 4 years younger than me? Even if it was wrong, I couldn't help myself. The kid was breath taking and those eyes of his were so dazzling. Then, you can't forget the best and most enticing part of him, his diaper!
I have tried several times but no matter how hard I try, I can't remember the first time I really wanted to wear a diaper. Even though I only have bits of memory from the age of 5, I am sure my desire for them was well before that. I think this time period stuck out for me because I can remember wanting my mom to put one of my baby brother's diapers on me when I watched her change him. This never happened no matter how much I wished it did. I guess you can say my first real memories started shortly after I entered the 1st grade. I was 6 at the time and I guess you can say a little bit more brazen.
As much as I wanted to be in diapers, like most normal mother's I would be, my mom was very against it. I had heard her tell the story to people several times of how easy I had been to potty train, especially when a friend or a relative was having trouble with one of their own. She made it very clear that she was proud of the fact that I was potty trained before I was even 2 years old. When you consider that I was a preemie who wasn't originally expected to live the first night of his life and later when I did, I would have some form of brain damage, this was a miracle. This was told to me by my mom as well. If it hadn't been for one of my aunts, I doubt she would have ever have admitted that her (me) perfect child did have occasional accidents. For the most part I was potty trained as Mom stated. During the daytime I could tell people when I needed to use the potty. The problem occurred if they couldn't get me to the potty in time. Most of my accidents then were due to a small bladder, as I got older, the longer I was able to hold it and that led to me no longer having daytime accidents. As for bedwetting, that too pretty much stopped when I learned to use the toilet. I guess I was either a light sleeper as she stated or I would get up out of bed at night and tinkle in my potty. As for poopoo (this was her words by the way) I would either wake one of my parents up or go in the potty and then in most cases, not wipe after. Now there were times I did sleep heavy enough wear I wet in my sleep and this continued until my bladder had grown large enough to hold my urine through the night. My Mom has never confirmed exactly what age this was when this happened but I know it had to be before I was 5 years old. This really sucked for me, because as I already mentioned, the farthest my memories go back is 5 years old. This means I don't even remember her putting me in a diaper or ever changing me.
As I mentioned, around the age of 6, I started to get brave and actively try to wear a diaper. My baby brother at the time was 4 years old and unlike me, still refusing to use the potty at all! Mom was definitely not having the same luck with him as she had with me! All I could think was how lucky my little brother was and how much I wanted to be him! Without thinking about the consequences, (after all I was six years old) I took one of my brother's diapers one day and tried to put it on myself. Now, I never put a diaper on myself at this point in time, my only experience in this was watching my mom put one on my brother. Being only six years old and not having any experience diapering myself, I didn't get the diaper on right. I was able to get it taped around my waist and I thought I had done it right but again without having the skill, I didn't realize I had messed up putting it on. With the diaper on, I quickly put my shorts back on to hide it from my parents and went out to play.
I can't really explain it but I will try, for some reason it excited me as I played in our back yard with that diaper under my shorts. It felt as if the naughty act of what I was doing and all with no one the wiser was some sort of thrill. Eventually I felt the need to go potty and along with it came a new thrill at the idea of going in the diaper. Driven by that thrill, I made the decision to let go in the diaper instead of going inside to use the toilet. I cannot tell you a time up until that point that ever felt as good then when I let my pee flow into that diaper. As the urine flow ran down my small groin and into the diaper and even my butt crack, it felt like I was in heaven! I hated it when the flow ended but did enjoy the squishy gel of the wet diaper as I went back to playing. I never did notice that because I didn't put the diaper on properly, which basically was tight enough to keep it from leaking around the leak guards, it had leaked. Without knowing it, I now had a big wet spot all over the back of my shorts since I had been sitting when peeing.
I am not sure exactly how long it was after I wet the diaper when Mom looked out back to check on me. When she noticed the wet spot on my shorts, she simply thought I had an accident. While rare at this age, it wouldn't have been the first time I would have wet my pants due to play or not making it to the bathroom in time. She decided to get me and bring me inside so she could clean me up. When she reached me, she instantly was able to smell that I had done more in my pants than just wet myself. As a Mother, she did what all mothers seem to do when their little ones make poop messes in their pants; she pulled back my shorts and tried to grab for my underwear as well, to verify how bad of a mess I had made in them. I did my best to try and stop her from doing this but I was small and she was big and outweighed by several factors. This led to her discovery of the diaper I had stolen. When she saw this, Mom got real quiet but had this really weird look on her face and of all the things I have forgotten in my life, I doubt I will ever forget that look! I could tell that she was not happy at all! She proved it too starting with the fact that as soon as she got me cleaned up, she spanked me thoroughly on my naked bum with her hand. I was then sent to stand in the corner until my dad got home who also took his turn to spank me as well. He at least didn't spank my bare butt but he used his belt on me and hit me harder and more times. In the end, Dad made Mom's spanking feel like nothing compared to his! After that came the inquisition!
Since that day I first stole my brother's diaper, I tried several more times to sneak my little brother's diapers. I knew I was taking a big risk, but hey I was 6 years old. I was also being driven by an incredible strong impulse that I didn't understand and still don't and could not control at all. As I stated before, I have bad luck and due to it, I was caught almost every time. I guess my parents were really starting to worry because besides the normal punishments and inquisitions, which included the normal 3 questions, my parents made the first real attempt to have a more open conversation with me about this. I remember the first attempt at this which my father ruined, looking back at it now; I still don't have the answer to their questions they were asking...
"Matty, your daddy and I are very concerned about your behavior lately. We don't understand why a big 6-year-old boy, who will be 7 in only a few months, keeps sneaking his little brother's diapers from his room?" Mommy had asked me and all I could do was look at my dangling feet as I sat in the living room chair nervously.
"Answer your mother Matty or do I need to spank that little bare bottom of yours again!" My Daddy demanded and scared me so bad I thought I might actually go peepee in my pants for real!
I found it hard to answer the question as I knew it would only upset them further and in my hesitation Daddy went on, "How about telling us the answer of why you would want to wear diapers, or for God sake why in the world would you want to shit and piss in one and then sit in it until one of us notices it!" Daddy bellows angrily and gets a stare from Mommy I am sure from his use of the naughty words that he used. Daddy just ignored Mommy though and looked straight at me as he angrily yelled at me, "ANSWER ME BOY!"
I gulped before finally speaking as Daddy was scaring me a lot and even though I tried not to, I began to stutter, "I s-s-sorry Mommy and Daddy. I-I kn-know you told m-m-me not to-to do it. I d-d-don't know w-w-why I d-d-do it I..." Before I could say anything else, the sound of Daddy's hand crashing to the table scares me so much that this time my bladder does let go and slowly I feel my pants soak up my peepee as he starts to yell at me.
"I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING THAT SAME EXCUSE OUT OF YOU BOY! EVERYTIME YOU GET IN TROUBLE, WE ASK YOU WHY YOU DID IT, AND THE FIRST THING YOU TELL US IS `YOU DON'T FREAKING KNOW!' FOR ONCE I WOULD LIKE YOU TO JUST TELL US THE DAMN TRUTH, OR DO I NEED TO BEAT IT OUT OF YOU!" My Daddy screamed at me. It took Mommy to calm him down and to remind him I was just only a little boy before he seemed to cool off a little and finish what he wanted to say to me. "I am sorry for my outburst son, but I am frustrated right now. I don't want any son of mine known as strange because he likes to go around wearing diapers at your age. Also, what you are doing is stealing from your little brother, who by the way shouldn't still be in diapers himself at his age!" At this he turned and gave Mommy a weird look before continuing. "You are also are stealing from us as well. We buy those diapers for your little brother who unfortunately still needs them. We don't buy them for you. Now please tell me why you keep stealing them, and for god sakes, wearing and using them as if you still need them?"
At this point I had started crying. Between my soaked pants, which I sure Daddy was most definitely going to spank me for, and the recent scare I went through, I was a broken mess. What Mommy and Daddy didn't understand was that life was hard enough for me and I was a very emotional kid, mix on top of that, my unknown attraction for diapers that I didn't understand why I had, put me in a bad position as I didn't know what to tell Daddy or Mommy. They wouldn't accept the truth from me, so I was at a real lost for words.
At this, Daddy starts rubbing his temples and looks at Mommy, "Jessica, what in the blazes is wrong with the boy now?"
Mommy comes over to me and starts to try and sooth me and quickly realizes that I have wet myself, once she see this she looks back at daddy and lets him have it, "Damn it Peter, you scared him so bad he wet himself. No wonder he is crying, he probably thinks you are going to whip him now like you always do when he screws up or does something bad according to your terms! I told you I wanted to do this my way and have a discussion and instead you turned it into a threat session and now he will probably be too scared to ever talk to us again about the subject! Thanks a lot Peter!" She snapped at Daddy as she carried me to the bathroom to get me out of my wet things and give me a much needed bath.
I can't really remember what happened that night after that discussion. I recall other attempts with them trying to ask me why I was doing this, but they normally didn't get very far and ended with very frustrated parents. I do know there were even a couple times I was spanked.
No matter how embarrassed or how frustrated my parents got or how many times I was punished, it didn't stop me from taking diapers from my little brother's supplies. It wasn't until my mom had to take drastic action to stop me from stealing diapers that she found a simple solution to keep me out of them. She bought a cabinet to hold all the diaper supplies, one that had a good lock on it, which she used to keep the diapers away from me. I tried for a long time to pick the lock or get my hands on the key but was unsuccessful on both of those. Looking back at it now, I wish I held to my principals to just show how determined I was and used my pants instead of the toilet. I guess being a 6 year old who was potty trained; I for some reason didn't put much thought into using my pants to get what I wanted. Up until then and even now, it has always been about diapers for me. Yes I did have those occasional accidents, but I never did it on purpose in my pants. As I got older, I started second guessing myself and wondered what would have happened if I had used my pants instead of the toilet back then? With the diapers locked away and eventually gone from the house all together, I had to get my diaper urges settled in other ways. For instance, I would just get all dreamy every time I saw a diaper commercial or a diapered kid. It was during this time I started collecting diaper ads from magazines and pictures of babies (and even older kids when lucky enough) in diapers. As for my little brother, he was soon potty trained anyway and by the time he was 5½, he was no longer in diapers.
His quick turnaround to getting potty trained, was mostly due to peer pressure as he quickly found out that other kindergarteners didn't wear diapers to school like him, so he worked with Mom and in no time he was potty trained. He pretty much already knew when he had to go already anyway, it was just that he preferred going in his diaper then using a scary potty. I might be partially to blame for that by telling him about the potty monster that might eat him, *GIGGLE* boy am I so glad that never got back to my parents or I would have been in major trouble! As for night, he only had a few wetting accidents a week and Mom didn't want to argue with him when he told her he didn't want to wear diapers at night. Unlike me, the little guy wasn't a diaper lover. He finally did get down to about 1 accident a week.
I would have loved to let him sleep in my bed but Mom wouldn't allow it as she had gotten around to finally removing my rubber sheet off my bed around the time I turned 8 and she wasn't going to let Tommy pee all over my bed and ruin my mattress. I on the other hand was told not to bother Tommy while he slept, and I was afraid my parents would think it strange that I would purposefully go and sleep with my brother, knowing there was a chance he might pee all over me. It didn't stop me from going into my brothers room when no one was paying attention after he wet his bed and stripping my PJ's and underwear off, then lying on his soaked bed and even adding a little of my own pee to his. It felt so great! Boy I am glad I was never caught doing that. I guess I have to count that one there for the good luck column.
Other times I would dig his wet underwear out of the hamper and since at that time we were pretty close the same size, I was able to wear them with just a little tightness. I would then go and sit on the toilet and pee into his underwear again, letting it all drip down into the water below me and therefore not making a mess. What it did do was allow me to have that great feeling as the urine runs over your prick and sack and then down into your butt crack as it floods the underwear. Oh man does it feel great! After each of those times, I would return my brothers underwear back to where I got them and get cleaned up as if nothing ever happened.
I had a few times even considered making it look like Tommy had started to wet a lot more. I figured this could be easily done. I am sorry to say that I had finally gone through with the plan and done this to my own little brother. First, I started out trying to get him to have more accidents, by encouraging him to drink more after the forbidden time. I had managed to get my hands on a 12 pack of the store brand version of Mountain Dew. You know how that stuff has all that caffeine in it. Anyway, every night, I would give him a can or two to drink right before bedtime along with some of Mom's sleeping medication that I had slipped in his pop. It actually worked like a charm. Soon he went from 2 or 3 accidents a week, which was about the amount of accidents he was having at that time, to wetting every single night. This quickly got Mom's attention but didn't accomplish what I hope which was her suggesting that he wear diapers again. This meant I had to keep it up in order for my plan to work. When it continued to happen for over 2 weeks without a dry night, I made sure of that because if he wasn't wet by a certain time, I would pee on his crotch and that seemed to always make him pee. Eventually, the word I wanted to hear came up, diapers. This really upset my brother a lot and made me realize that here I was, so desperate to get my hands on diapers again that I was willing to hurt my own little brother's self-esteem. I really felt awful about myself. I decided that the only way to do this right was to help my brother to become dry. As much as I hated to see that happen, that is what I did from that day on. Unfortunately it didn't take long before he was back to wetting only 2 to 3 nights a week, and as I said, in the end, he was down to 1 night a week.
Over the last couple years, I met a couple other kids who either wore diapers for bed wetting or should, but I had never really seen a boy past 6 or 7 wearing a diaper during the day. Remember when I was talking to you about the two bedwetting kids I knew from school earlier, and I said I didn't want to keep pestering them and pushing them after they had decided to take what I said as being more as a negative thing. I had said the reason was due to a previous experience, well here is that story. I had a friend that I use to hang out with a lot. I actually became his friend shortly after he moved near our home the summer after I turned 7. That whole summer we were thick as thieves but I could never get him to spend the night and he would never invite me over to his place. We always played at my house. I knew where he lived and eventually we did play at his house, but only outside. When school started up and he found out that if he were to make it known that he was my friend, that he would have his school life as bad as mine, he decided it was better to steer clear from me while at school and if outside of school we could associate then. As he hung around his new friends more and more, our friendship became more strained. One day when I was at his house playing, I found out that he was a bedwetter. I tried my best to talk to him about it. Unfortunately it didn't go so well. When he found out that I knew, he completely freaked. We had known each other a year by this time making it once again summer and us 8 at the time. No matter how many times I told him I wouldn't tell a soul and I liked him even better because I now knew why he never wanted to spend the night, he didn't believe me. In order to prove it, I begged him to let me spend the night, he refused. I think he was just too embarrassed about everything and my trying to push him into a corner at that time wasn't helping him with it. I guess that was why he didn't want anyone ever inside his house as he didn't want them in his room, but I got my chance that day when I asked his mom to use the bathroom. I had finished peeing and due to the obvious big sticker with his name on it stuck to a bedroom door, I knew which bedroom was his. I was curious since we were never allowed inside, so I decided to take a peek. Boy was I surprised when the first thing to hit me when I opened his door, was the wonderful odor of boy pee and you could see that even though his sheets had been washed, they had been permanently stained by the many times he had peed on them. There were several dark round circles on his bottom sheet which was exposed as his covers and top sheet had been all pulled forward and hung off the foot of the bed. Taking a closer look at the sheet though, I could see that thought had been wrong. His sheets had not in fact been washed from his last wetting. In fact it still contained the evidence of the previous night wetting still drying out. It appeared that my friend's mommy didn't do laundry every day and didn't allow her son clean sheets every morning after wetting the bed. It must be why the sheets were stained as badly as they were. Feeling his bed some more, I notice another familiar thing; the slick feeling of his rubber sheet that protected the mattress.
Oh I so wanted to be his best friend and stay the night with him. I would have loved lying there in bed with him as he wet in his sleep and as he peed, I could offer in return my own golden nectar. This wish of mine just turned into another piece of my bad luck, it made him too scared due to my sudden interest in his problem that he didn't want to talk about. I guess it also didn't help that it made me look more like a crazed maniac then a friend to him at that moment. All of this just proved to him that it really wasn't worth it to be my friend any longer I guess. It was only a couple days after this before he stopped talking to me altogether and his mom called my mom and told her to keep me away from her son as I was making fun of his bedwetting. When Mom came to me about it, I tried my best after explaining what really happened to get Mom to fix it. Again luck was just not on my side, she explained it was one of those things that she didn't think could be fixed and at this time it was best just to stay away from the boy. I really hated this but not having a choice, I reluctantly did what I was told. It didn't matter as we ended up moving before the summer was even over when Dad got a promotion at work.
Looking back at it now though, I wished we never moved. At that time, we were living in a small town in Main, called Castle Rock. Many people would tell you that a lot a bad stuff happened there in its past but I think they just say that to scare us kids. Both Tommy and I were born there. I spent my first 8 years of life there and Tommy, 6 of his. Since I guess Dad liked the quiet town life but hated the long commute back and forth to work every day to Bangor, Main. I guess when the opportunity came up for him for this promotion, he grabbed it. A nice cushy office just right outside of New York City and near a quiet small suburb. The other thing it promised him was the possibility of further promotion inside the company as well. If only if we stayed in Castle Rock, maybe we would all still be a family...
Continuing to check out the boy's diaper, I tried to come to a sensible reason why someone his age would still be wearing one. I thought about medical reasons, but it was obvious that the boy was acting normal, not like he was retarded or anything. Maybe, like me, he suffered from ADHD; I learned from my doctor that bedwetting was one of the side effects of that condition. Then again, it was morning and he definitely was not sleeping, at least for now. He was definitely moving about all jittery, like I get if I don't take my pills.
"Maybe his parents are just afraid he might fall asleep on the plane," I thought to myself, but looking at the antsy boy again, I didn't think that was likely anytime soon.
I guess it would matter how long of a flight they were on and if they gave him something to sleep. Knowing how I was feeling about the trip, Mom had done just this. I don't know what the pills were but they were different from my ADHD ones. She just handed them to me as we entered the airport and walked me up to the water fountain. She told me that they would help me sleep and not worry so much as I washed the pills down. As we got in line, she said that she would be giving the bottle of pills to the person in charge of me in case I need another one on the flight. She further explained that she had gotten my doctor to prescribe them for me, knowing that I might be anxious and nervous, even scared about taking this trip alone. I felt a little better knowing Mom was looking out for me even if my fears were unrealistic.
As I stared, I felt my teen prick (if you could even call it that), start to get hard.
"Why is just the thought of this little kid wearing a diaper making me so... you know," I thought quietly to myself.
It was bad enough to be attracted to diapers and be gay, but going gaga over a little kid... this was way too much for me to process! I'm not just talking about liking him, but maybe, well, you know, love him. I must be sick in the head or something! No matter how much I try to silently tell myself to not think about the boy, I can't make myself look away from him. Here I was, developing feelings for this boy, and I still don't even know anything about him, like his name, age, or even why he is wearing a diaper.
Becoming self-conscious, I had been drooling over this kid for who knew how long, I was afraid that someone might have noticed, like Mom. I looked up to find that she was once again on her cellphone. I could see she was arguing with someone on the other end.
"Must be Dad she is talking to," I thought to myself.
Knowing my mom, the argument was either over something about me or that damn new girlfriend of his. This thought just reminded me even more about what this trip was all about. The thought of having to spend most of it with some strange lady made my mind explode. I knew from experience that this was not fun. I always wondered if Dad liked my brother more than me as he always seemed more outgoing even at his young age.
I have always been a sensitive person, especially when it came to my height. It didn't help that at being four foot four inches; a lot of people mistake me as being 10 or maybe 11 if I am lucky, instead of 13. Hell, I had one woman who thought I was 8 once and when I told her differently, she didn't believe me. You are talking to someone who can't get into PG13 films without an adult present (which Mom actually likes). Now you know why it is hard for me to determine a boy's age by his size, because, just maybe, who knows, he could be like me. Not only was I short, but also skinny, not in that nice slimming way but in the boney disgusting way. People who see me without my shirt like to make fun of the fact that I look like a skeleton wrapped in skin and they can play my rip cage like an instrument. I knew I was ugly and looked more baby than a teenager, especially where it counted. Most of the kids I know in my grade at least have some hair above their pricks and are at least four or more inches long, but not me. This just gave more ammunition to the bullies to pick on me about. I could feel their stares and hear their laughter, in the gym shower, over my 2½ inch stiffy and my baby balls. Calling me a fag because I got a stiffy in the boys shower and then making fun of how small and pathetic it is. Of course, they are the fuckers who are doing the looking. Then again, we covered this already and I now had to face the reality that all this time that they had been right.
Knowing that I am gay and have this weird attraction to diapers, hasn't been easy for me. At times I feel like I just want to slice my wrist. I have already tried and failed one suicide attempt and so far have fought my inner demons from making another, but I don't know how much longer I will be able to do this. Maybe the easiest thing to do is just step out in front of a fast moving big truck or bus on a major highway and have a quick death like... well that is just too sad to think about right this moment. I just want to get rid of the sadness in me.
I can't stop my depression because I know deep down that I do like boys. I try to do my best to suppress that part just like the diapers but I am finding it harder and harder to do every day. As I stated, I instantly feel this strong attraction for Joey. It is stronger than any I ever felt before, which scares the death out of me, I don't even know the kid! Is it because of how cute he is, or was it because of his diapers? Maybe it was because of the combination of the two, I just didn't know. Whatever it was, I strongly wanted to get to know this boy more but I felt the chances of that happening was very unlikely. I was on my way to Europe and I had no idea where the little diaper stud was going. I could tell that this was just leading me to another bout of depression. I knew it was just most likely time and one of these days I would actually go through with killing myself. I have to keep reminding myself how this would affect my mom; with this, I again look up at her. I can't help sighing to myself when I see she is still busy on her cell phone.
People (like my so-called friends) like to joke around sometimes and call me `Bookworm' because I read a lot, something I will probably be doing mostly while on this stupid summer vacation. So-called friends that, up until recently, never offered me to sleep over or said yes to any of my invites for them to spend the night. I know it isn't about bedwetting as I have been in each of their bedrooms at one time or another and there is no sign of that or even protection for the mattress. I guess with my luck, I will never be able to have a sleepover.
As for my looks, there is nothing special or out of the ordinary about me, except for what I pointed out and I wouldn't call them good. I have plain dull brown hair with several cowlicks that refuse to lay down right. My skin is really white and burns very easily, so just like Count Dracula, I hate the sun. I have disgusting buck teeth that my parents have been arguing over about who is going to responsible for getting fixed, and I have freckles not only on my nose where it looks cute but all over my face. You don't really see those as well until summertime but boy-oh-boy do they pop out then! If you are wondering about my eyes, they are just a boring hazel color. The whole package is made worse with my plastic framed glasses that kinda sit crooked on my face due to them being knocked off of it so many times by bullies! In the summer months, those glasses are the worst because they keep slipping down my nose and I have to push them back up in place, eventually it rubs a raw spot into the bridge of my nose. This makes wearing my glasses hurt so bad that I have to go a few days without wearing them until my nose heals.
Like all mothers, my Mom keeps insisting that I am cute but I don't think family gets a vote because they have to think their family is good-looking and cute. My brother Tommy was the one who got all the cute genes and was the looker in our family. That blond headed, blue-eyed kid, who took more after Mom's side of the family, was definitely adorable.
Still, even my own brother wasn't in the same league as this diapered boy god in front of me. Even his high pitched joyful laughter made my heart fill with love for the boy. Unlike Mom and me, he was actively talking to both of his parents, or who I was still assuming were his parents. Again I looked up at Mom and once again was disappointed to see her still on her cell phone. Here it was, the last I would be seeing her for the summer, and she was spending it on the cell phone instead of spending it with me. I know, I was being very insecure for my age, but I am sorry, I just couldn't help it!
A lot of it had to do with all my bad luck and what has happened over the last couple years. It wasn't only the pressures of being gay and liking diapers, but there were major issues with my home life that started with one of the worst pieces of bad luck that had ever happened to me so far to date. It didn't stop there either, shit just kept rolling downhill until it got worse and worse and even worse, if that is possible!
Last year my parents got divorced. I knew it had been coming for quite a while, ever since that fateful day. The day my brother was taken from us. Something that pains me to even think about to this day, the day my little brother was killed by a hit and run driver. It happened right in front of our house. I will never forget the day as it is seared into my memory. I would love to white wash this memory, as it is too painful, but I can't. As the memory that I try to hold off floods me, I am taken back to that day...
We were both out in the front yard playing catch. I had thrown a stupid wild pitch for some asinine reason and he missed the ball and it rolled out into the street. We were both just stupid kids, he was 9 and I was 11 at the time and even though we had been told many times by our folks not to run out in the road without looking first and even yelled at for doing just that, we both made a beeline for the ball. Tommy being a lot closer, hit the street first and didn't look before going to grab it. To be fair and honest, I wasn't paying attention either and if it had been me who was closer, I would have done the same thing Tommy had done. That is the reason I didn't even see the car coming; I was too busy trying to beat my brother to the ball and once I realized I wasn't going to make it, trying to catch my breath and watching him grab the ball and dance a victory dance. That was the last thing he ever did, like I said, I didn't see or even hear it coming until it was too late and even then I didn't know what it meant at first. All I noticed was a blaring horn and then a squealing of tires. Before I even realized what had happened, the car had quickly driven off. To this day they haven't caught the creep who killed my brother.
When I finally noticed my brother's battered and run over body, I ran to it and tried to call his name, but he wouldn't open his eyes. I am not exactly sure when I started screaming my lungs out; I was just told that was how the neighbor and eventually my mom knew something was wrong. While screaming and crying over my brother's body, I wet my pants for the first real wetting accident in a long time. My bladder had let go from shock, but I barely even noticed the wetness and was in no frame of mind to enjoy it.
As I said, all my screaming got the neighbors attention and finally my mom's. When she saw me out in the middle of the road cradling my brother, she came running herself and from what I was told later, she too went into shock. Paramedics ended up not only taking my brother to the hospital, but also me and my mom. I didn't find out until the next day when I awoke that my brother had died before he even reached the hospital. That was not the type of news an 11 year old should be getting, it devastated me and my mom. Mom was actually placed in a facility for a while and due to my own issues there was even talk of doing the same to me. Luckily the one time Dad came through for me was then, I might have not recovered if I got put into one of those places. Instead he put me into grief counseling, something I still do. While it has helped me cope with my brother's death, it has never made me feel totally better.
When I did wake up in the hospital, I was in one of those flimsy hospital gowns that are open in the back, that if you were to get out of bed, it would show off your butt to everyone. I also quickly realized that due to the fact that I was unconscious for so long and had peed my clothes due to shock, the doctors felt it necessary to use a catheter on me until I woke back up. Especially since they were also hydrating my body with plenty of fluids as well. I actually found out later that they gave my dad 2 options, either a diaper or putting the catheter in and he had to go with the second! I am damn glad I was not awake when they stuck that thing in me, I just wished I wasn't when they took it out!
For those who were wondering, the day my brother was hit by that car was July 13th, 2011 and it did fall on a Friday. I should have known it was going to be a bad that year too, as my 11th birthday that year also fell once again on a Friday the 13th for the 3rd time starting with my birth. The 2nd time was when I was 6 years old and you already know how well that year turned out for me! Still as much as I like to blame it, bad luck of Friday the 13th wasn't fully responsible for the death of my brother. If I had been paying closer attention to the calendar that day, I would have spent it under my covers in my room instead! Then just maybe, my brother would still be alive today and my folks would still be married. All because of my bad luck and being stupid and not paying attention, my brother left this world! It wasn't fair at all to my little brother! I should have been the one to die that day, not him! If only I had been paying closer attention or hadn't thrown the ball so hard and erratic. If not that, then being the one responsible, I should have been the one to reach the ball first and he the one to back off. At least the good son would still be alive and me, being the troubled one would finally be at peace maybe.
It was a couple months before Mom was able to come back home. At first my parents really didn't talk that much, at least not around me. I could tell that they were both hurting still just like I was, and none of us really wanted to talk about it. Before Mom had even returned to the house and my brother had even been put into his grave, Dad had removed all of Tommy's pictures from the house and cleaned out his room, leaving only the dresser and bunkbeds behind. I am not sure if he did this to help not remind Mom about what happened, or if it was more about him not wanting to see my brother stare back at him and remind him of what he lost. Before he cleaned out his room though, I had a chance to pay Tommy one last tribute to his memory in my own special way. Missing my little brother so much and wanting him back, not long after I had gotten out of the hospital, Dad had left me alone for the first couple days until he could get a babysitter. He worked shorter hours on those days, but I had the house to myself for almost 5 hours each day. On the 2nd day, I went into Tommy's room and saw that his bed had never been cleaned since his last time he slept in it. Low and behold, he had wet that night. Not thinking too much about it but my loss, I found his undies and even his PJ's that he had worn last from his dirty clothes hamper and pulled them on. Lying down in his bed, I covered myself up. I took a nice deep inhale through my nose of Tommy's shameful scent that he left in his sheets now long dried. Then feeling small, I put my thumb into my mouth and sent a small prayer up to my brother."This is for you little brother." I whispered and then with hardly any effort, let go of my bladder.
I was so comfortable that I actually fell asleep, and Dad found me like that in Tommy's bed. Luckily he thought it was all about the death of Tommy and didn't put two and two together. My butt was more than happy that he never considered it had anything to do with my old love for diapers. In fact it seemed as if he had completely forgotten about all of that. Still, he didn't like the idea of me falling back into some kind of comatose state, so that was when he decided to clean out my brother's room and remove the last painful memories of him. He donated everything he could and what he couldn't, he trashed. Damn, I was so pissed at him as he had sent me away with the new sitter he had gotten for me for the day while he did this! When my mom came home and found out about this, I could tell she wasn't happy either.
Anyway, my parents tried to make it work for almost a year but finally it was enough for them. My brother's death was just too stressful on the both of them. For some reason they kept blaming each other for it when all along I knew it was my fault. I was the one who threw the ball too hard. I was the one who even suggested playing catch out front in the first place. I was the one who should have been looking out for him as that was my job; after all, I was his big brother and I was supposed to protect him.
Remembering all these past memories, as I stand here in some crappy airport line, now suddenly brings me to tears. Here I was, a small scrawny 13 year old kid who was now standing there crying in one of the busiest airports in the world, in front of God knows how many strangers. Crying in front of the boy that if I had the chance, I would love to marry. I was sure he wouldn't want to have some ugly duckling kid like me who is constantly crying and scared of his own shadow! I knew something like this would happen, I remembered the conversation I had with Mom about it just yesterday. The conversation that my mind now flashed to again, this time with more clarity.
"MOM I DON'T WANT TO GO TO EUROPE!" I screamed at her in frustration, knowing that as a kid I never get a say. Without barely taking a breath I continue my tantrum, though, knowing in the end it would not change a thing. "I WANT TO STAY HERE WITH YOU AND MY NEW FRIEND, NOT WITH DAD FOR THE SUMMER JUST SO HE CAN SHOW ME OFF TO HIS NEW BIMBO!" As I yelled that last part, with tears streaming down my face, Mom struck me.
I should have seen it coming; after all, I was screaming at Mom and calling Dad's girlfriend a bimbo. The thing was, I was so caught up in my own emotions at the time, I hadn't. That is why when I felt the sudden sting of my mom's hand as it struck the side of my face; it took me by complete surprise. The sudden slap caused me to cry even harder for a few seconds as the pain washed over me, but as the wails and tantrum came to an end, I just stood there whimpering and wiping away the tears that were still falling down my cheeks. Yes, if you haven't figured it out yet, I was a crier, I always had been.
From the look on my mom's face, I think she was as shocked at slapping me as I was. I have mentioned this before, my parents have never believed in sparing the rod and I have been spanked by both my mom and my dad. Unlike Dad, Mom only uses spanking as a last resort. She has definitely smacked me on my butt before, but this is the first time she has ever slapped my face.
"I am sorry for slapping you like that, Matty. That was the wrong way of handling that and as your mother I need to be punishing you out of love, not anger. I promise in the future that I will remember this, but I want you to know that it doesn't give you the right to misbehave or to act the way you just were acting! I know things have been hard the last couple years for you. Please remember that they have been hard on me and your dad as well! No matter what though, it does not give you the excuse, nor will I tolerate or allow you to use that language. Do you understand me young man?" Mom asked sternly. "If not, the next time I hear that kind of language out of you, not only will we be visiting the bathroom, which after this discussion, we WILL be doing--but your little naked tush is going to be very red too! The next words I hear out of your mouth better be YES, MOM!
The notice that I would be getting my mouth washed out with soap soon was something I was not looking forward to. It didn't help that she followed it with the threat of not only another mouth washing if I said something she considered bad, but also a harsh spanking. This thought made my legs kinda wobbly. I did my best to calm my nerves but found it hard to do. Taking a deep breath, I tried once again to calm myself before doing what mom asked me.
"Yes Mom, I'm sorry," I sighed and then tried to explain. "It is just that I have a new friend and we have plans to do things this summer, and I thought Dad only got me for a month at the end. What about baseball season? I am going to miss out on playing and it might be the year that I actually catch the ball," I spouted disappointingly to her as the tears started to flow once again down my cheeks.
"Matty, I know how much you like baseball, but I hate seeing you spend most of the season on the bench and when you are in the game. When you play, you always end up getting teased or made fun of by your own teammates. I hate seeing you always upset when they pick on you or when you strike out or miss catching a ball. I feel so terrible for you when I see you like that, I don't understand why you keep wanting to go back and play knowing how bad it makes you feel?" she asked me, knowing it is a sensitive question, but then again I am already crying.
I looked up into my mom's eyes and nodded my head. My mother seeing my pain even deeper, reached out to me and I threw myself into her arms. With me being her only child left, I think there are times where she wishes I were her little baby again as I see it in moments like this, as she picks me up off the floor and holds me into her arms. Sometimes I wish she would suggest diapering me, but she never does. I don't know if she remembers how much I used to want it back when I was 6 or if she does, thinks I am over that stage in my life. I have considered many times even asking her if she could, but I keep chickening out as I don't know what she might know. She may have snooped in my hiding spot in my closet and seen all the diaper ad clippings I have found and collected over the years. I don't think that is the case though, as I am sure if she, or in fact if my dad, or even my little brother had ever found it, they would have long ago been disposed of.
"Matty, I am sorry that you have to go, I really am, but your dad fought me on this. He told me that this would be a great opportunity for you to see Europe and since he is there for business for most this year and he won't be able to see you much, he feels that it is only fair that he get you for the whole summer. Just think of all the places in Europe you will get to see. I am so jealous as I always wanted to go and see Europe myself." She explained and tried to make it sound like a great opportunity for me.
"But Mom, I don't want to go!" I whined and was starting to shed some more tears. "I want to stay here; I'll be all by myself at Dad's, he is always working whenever I am with him! I don't want to go on a plane, I never been on one before." I was more than a little worried about flying in an airplane. If that idea wasn't scary enough, then add the thought of being on such a long flight and over a big ocean, and it made it a whole lot scarier!
"Now Matty, you might not remember it, but you were on a plane before. And I know it might sound scary to go on one but you will be okay." As she told me this she seemed to be stalling with something, like she wanted to tell me something else but didn't know how.
"Mom, what are you not telling me?" I sniffled and tried to wipe away the tears that were still pouring from my eyes.
"I am sorry Matty, I just don't know how to tell you this, but I will not be going with you and your dad will not be able to come and get you. Instead you will be traveling..." I didn't allow for Mom to finish as I interrupted her.
"Are you telling me Mom that I am going to be going all the way to Europe all by myself!" I was now almost in hysterics.
"Now, now, Baby, I wish I could go all the way with you, but Mommy will be with you right up to the body scanners and metal detectors. Then there will be some nice person who will take you from there, the rest of the way to the plane. Just remember this, you are not to get off the plane yourself, someone will come and get you and take you off. They will then escort you through customs, making sure all your documents are in order for you. Once you are through customs, they will take you to your Daddy. Just know if you get scared for any reason while on the plane, you can always call for a stewardess." She did her best to try and comfort me and it did help a little, still I wasn't happy about it.
"I just wish Daddy..." Yes, without even realizing it and with being upset, I had taken up an old babyish habit of using terms like Daddy; of course it didn't help that Mom was using the more childish terms herself. "...hadn't taken this new job, now he lives so far away and goes to places even further like Europe and expects me to come at his bidding. I want to stay here with you Mommy; someone needs to be here with you to look after you. Daddy has his girlfriend, he doesn't need me. You do need me, as you don't have anyone else." I pouted.
I think I could hear my mom stifle back a sob, as if she was trying not to cry in front of me. Finally though I guess she decided I needed to know some painful truths.
"Baby, I didn't want you to go either, I told him no at first that he had to stick to the original agreement but he threatened me. He told me if I didn't allow him to take you for the summer, he would fight me for full custody. I am sorry Matty, right now he has everything, he has the money for good lawyers and he can give you more than I can. He even threatened to bring up my mental breakdown and use that to make me sound like an unfit mother to you. I had no choice but to allow him what he wanted. He did say that he will increase the amount that he pays me also, if I agree to this, so maybe with that extra money, I can use it against him to find a decent lawyer to finally make things right." Mom explained.
Hearing Mom tell me this made me angry with my dad. It was like he was trying to use me to punish her. It also made me more than ever want to be home, I was afraid what Mom might do if I was gone too long and she was left all alone. It would be as if she lost everyone in her life and I saw how bad she took it after she lost Tommy.
Mom held me in that hug for several minutes longer before she finally put me down. I am sure that even my scrawny little body was starting to get heavy for her at that point. She looked down at me and raised my chin and looked me squarely in the eye.
"You know I love you Matty, and you will always be my baby boy no matter how old you get." At saying this she grinned. "Now wipe those tears and get ready for bed. We have to get up early in the morning to get to the airport on time. The flight leaves at 9am and we need to be at the airport in plenty enough time to get you on the plane." She reminded me.
As I started to head towards my bedroom with a quick pit stop at the toilet to empty my full bladder, I actually thought that maybe Mom either decided to not punish me after all, or she had completely forgotten, but before I had even gotten out of her sight she seemed to remember.
"Oh, by the way, after you get your PJ's on young man, we have an appointment in the bathroom. I will give you some time to dry your tears, but that mouth of yours will be cleaned before you go to bed tonight!"
"But Mom..." I whined.
"Don't 'butt' me or I will give you something for that 'butt' of yours as well, now go get your PJ's on!" With that I didn't hesitate any longer and as soon as I was through in the bathroom, I quickly went to my room and got ready for bed. I did all of this without any fuss or further argument of any kind, as I definitely didn't want a spanking tonight too!
That was another thing I hated about this, here it was summertime finally and not only did I still have to go to bed early but even earlier than my normal bedtime, which for a school night was 8:30pm. Somehow I was expected to fall asleep at 7:30 tonight and I don't see how that is possible. Especially with my mouth tasting of Ivory hand soap! What I didn't know was, that mom had laced my glass of milk I had with dinner with some sleeping medicine. I hadn't started to feel its effects yet, but by the time I had my PJ's on and then my ugly buck teeth brushed, I was actually yawning. Right before I left the bathroom was when Mom came in to deliver my punishment. I was told to open my mouth up and bite down on the bar of soap, when I did, she began to grind it back and forth between my teeth. She didn't stop until she made sure I had enough soap in my mouth that I had bubbles coming out of it. Next came what I felt was the hardest part of this punishment, I was forced to hold all that in my mouth for 10 minutes until I was allowed to spit it out and have a small cup of water to rinse as much of it out as I can. The worst part of the punishment yet was that Mom knew that I couldn't get all of it out rinsed out with one small cup of water. When I asked her for more water to rinse my mouth out better, she told me no and explained why. She explained that she wanted me to have the taste of soap as a reminder for a while to help me not make the same mistake again.
I really didn't think I was going to sleep that night but as I mentioned, the sleep aid that Mom had slipped me in my milk earlier was already working double time on me. I had no sooner slipped between the sheets and I was out like a light. I didn't awake again until Mom dragged me out of bed early this morning. This of course all led up with me now standing in this stupid line!
You would think as much as Dad wanted me on this trip with him that he would have actually called and talked to me, but no, he didn't even bother to make an attempt to do that. I didn't find out until I came home yesterday afternoon to find that a good portion of my clothes had been packed into suitcases and were sitting in front of my closet. Mom sure had been busy while I was out that morning having fun with my new best friend James. The thought of my mom broke me out of my past thoughts as I again looked up at her. One part of me was still upset with her because of making me go and not even telling me until the last moment. I know deep down I had forgiven her but for a reason I couldn't explain, I still felt this instinctive anger. As for the other part of me, I just really wanted her to notice how upset I was right now. I wanted her to know I was crying and to somehow figure out that it was over all the bad memories I was having! You always hear about the stories of Mother's and their super instincts when it comes to their kids. I guess those are just all fantasies of the movies I watch because every time I looked up I was saddened to find her still on her cell phone. She had been on her cell all morning it seemed, hardly talking to me at all. From the heated bits of conversation I heard from her end, I was certain that she was talking to Dad.
Since my mom wasn't paying any attention to me, I found myself looking once again at the boy but quickly looked away. I hadn't expected him to look my way at the moment, I suddenly felt terribly embarrassed and hoped he didn't notice me staring at him or that I was crying. For several minutes I kept my back to the boy, waiting to recover from my recent embarrassment. I afraid to turn around as the boy might be still looking at me but my mind screamed as it wanted another look at him. Slowly I turned and before I realized it, our eyes locked onto each other. There was no denying the fact that this boy god had been looking straight at me. It was then that I remembered that he had probably seen me crying and I was still tearing a little, I blushed in embarrassment. I did my best to get over my embarrassment and wipe the tears away from my eyes. Before I could completely recover though, things went from bad to worse and made that red blush turn an even brighter crimson. This of course was followed by more new tears from me.
As I had stated the boy had been staring at me. Now unlike with my mother, his father seemed to sense something with his son and turned around to look at his boy. As the man caught his son staring at me, he looked down at his son then back at me.
"Joey, are you teasing that boy about something to make him cry?" He asked him a little too loudly for my liking.
"No Daddy, honest. I heard him crying and turned around and saw him. I was going to ask him why he was crying but when he saw you he started to cry again. I think you embarrassed him Daddy because his face turned red, as red as that one time..." at this moment he suddenly dropped his voice to just loud enough for his dad and me to hear, "...when I got that really bad diaper rash and even the 'Per-skip-tion' cream didn't work!"
At this the man chuckled a little at what his son said, "it's 'prescription,' Joey." Turning to me, he put on a more serious face and softly apologized, "I am sorry there, son, if I did anything to scare or upset you."
He then handed me a handkerchief which I used to dab my eyes and then blew my dripping nose on.
"Thank you sir," I thanked him politely. "Here is your hanky back," I tried to offer his handkerchief back to him but he told me to just keep it.
Through this ordeal, my mom was in such a heated argument on her cell, that she never even noticed that I was even talking to a stranger or was crying or anything. I thought about trying to get her attention but at that moment with her all mad and yelling like she was, I didn't think it was the right moment to interrupt her. As I was thinking this, it suddenly occurred to me that I now knew what the cute diaper boy's name was. Joey; he sure did look like a Joey too. I decided since I knew Joey's name that it was only proper to introduce myself, besides, I would do anything to keep talking to Joey and his family. This was easier that I was no longer crying and talking would keep me from possibly slipping back in that pit of despair I was in moment before.
I stuck out my hand, "hi, my name is Matty," I introduced myself.
Joey was the first to take it and as he did, it was like an electric jolt had shot from him and into me. As I stood there shaking his hand, feeling the electricity flow between us, I felt myself begin to get lost in his dazzling blue eyes. When my eyes finally did pull away from his sapphire blues, they were drawn down towards his crotch as if they were pulled by a magnet. My eyes followed the way down his t-shirt all the way to his shorts, where the obvious diaper bulge was located. I guess Joey realized right away what I was looking at and this time it was his turn to blush with embarrassment, which got another very red face out of me and I quickly looked away.
By this time Joey's Mom had also turned around to see what was going on. Both she and Joey's Dad quickly noticed our bright red faces and couldn't help wondering what just happened as neither noticed my brief look at their son's diapered crotch. To help us out of our embarrassment, Joey's Dad introduced himself to me.
"Hi, my name is Dennis Brady and this is my wife, Ellen Brady." Joey's dad said with a smile as his large hand engulfed my small one. He then pointed towards his son with his other hand, "and this is our son Joey," he introduced him needlessly as I had heard him call out his name already.
Trying to be respectful as I was taught to be with grownups, I replied, "Good to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Brady." As those words came out of my mouth I couldn't help smiling as I thought of all the jokes I could go with here.
I know that the Brady Bunch was way before my time but hey, my mom was a big fan of the show and several other old TV shows and guess what, when she is the one controlling the TV in the house, you have to watch what she watches or nothing at all. To be honest, a lot of those old TV shows are not that bad either. I really liked shows like the Brady Bunch, Gilligan's Island, The Munster's (Eddie Munster was real cute and I always pictured him in a diaper), Leave it to Beaver, I Dream of Jeanie, Bewitched, and The Andy Griffith Show. Little Opie Taylor had the best butt for a diaper to be put on. But alas, none of these shows ever had diaper boys in it. Maybe that is what I need to do, become a TV producer and make a show just about a boy who wears a diaper every day. I don't know, I probably would get laughed out of Hollywood. Best to just continue to keep my secret to myself.
"Look Matty, there is no need to be so formal here. We are just some people standing in line waiting for our turn. Besides my parents are Mr. and Mrs. Brady and we like to think of ourselves as still young. Please, just call me Dennis..." He then pointed at the woman who I knew now was Joey's mom. "...and this is Ellen. Shoot, I am only 31 and Ellen just turned 30." Joey's father tried to convince me.
I definitely could tell that they were younger than my parents were. My father was already pushing 42 and my mom just had her 40th birthday a few months ago, though she insists it was her 29th, like all her friends really are going to believe that is true. It doesn't help that she has been having that same birthday now for as long as I can remember. If it hadn't been for Dad, I might have never known her real age.
I was about to introduce myself to Ellen when I guess my mom had finally noticed me talking to strangers in line. I knew this was the case when I heard her shout into her phone, "JUST FUCKING STUFF IT FOR NOW, I NEED TO DEAL WITH SOMETHING! MATTY IS TALKING WITH SOME STRANGERS AND I NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
A second after that, I feel my mom's arms wrap around me protectively and even though I am not looking at her, I can feel the stare that she is giving the people that have been talking to me. She then lifts my face so I can see her and vice versa, and now gives me that same steely stare.
"Matty, how many times do I have to tell you not to talk to strangers?" She asked in an angry but also worried voice. "You know that in a place like this that there are people who would love to grab a child like you and do horrible things to you. If that were to happen, I might never see you again, and I couldn't bear to lose you after..." she wasn't able to finish her sentence but I knew what she was thinking. The emotions of this brought an end to our argument. For a moment I thought Mom was going to cry and I was having a hard time fighting back my own tears. I could see Mom's sadness in her eyes in my moist ones as she reached down and pulled me into an embrace.
We hugged each other for several minutes before my mom released me. I noticed that all those emotions had caused my nose to run a little. I remembered the handkerchief that Dennis had given to me and used it once more to blow my nose. During that whole time while we had been hugging each other and displaying mother son emotion, I had forgotten for just a moment that we were in a busy airport and in front of a nice family and a very cute diaper boy. It wasn't until I had cleared away my tears and blew my nose and looked up to find that the Brady's had waited patiently for us that I remembered this. This of course made me embarrassed again and Joey giggled as he saw my cheeks flush. Normally you would think a giggling person would upset me even more, but somehow I found his giggle not in malice but cheerful and it honestly made me for some reason surprisingly feel better. Mom was still wanting to know what was going on and seeing that I was not saying much, Dennis explained how we started to talk. Mom was curious why I was crying, so I had to explain that like just moments ago, I had started thinking about how Tommy was killed by that guy who ran over him and that it had actually been all my fault. As I explained what I had been thinking, leaving out certain details here and there that would only make everything here very weird and uncomfortable, both Mom and the Brady family got an idea what was going on in my fragile head. I really did want to tell Mom and the world about me being gay and attracted to the cute diapered boy so near me, I also wanted to let her know that I still wanted so desperately to wear diapers, but I couldn't get up the courage to do so, I don't think I ever could.
"I am so sorry Matty, I feel so awful that I have been so distracted this morning. I have been really trying to work out something with your father so you wouldn't either have to go or at least not for the whole summer. I just wish your father were not such a stubborn aa..." she started to say, instead changing the word to, "person." She then looked at Mr. and Mrs. Brady, "thank you for trying to comfort my son."
As the line proceeded to get closer to the counter, and since I was now more or less allowed to talk to Joey as we were just bored to death, we started to try and get to know each other better. Now I had learned my lesson with my friend who was a bedwetter and that you can't come on too strong or they will get all defensive and then it will never work out. I decided that the best way to go about it, would be to act like a friend who was just trying to help him out.
When none of our parents were paying attention, I got close to Joey's ear and whispered, "Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that the back of your shorts have fallen down some and exposed your diaper. You might want to pull them up and tighten them so that no one else can see it bud."
He blushed deep red and pulled up his shorts but it turned out that they were not the type that could be tighten but were just elastic. Unfortunately, either they were too big for him or the elastic was going out on them. No matter how many times he tried to pull them up, they would slowly slide back down in the back, revealing part of his diapered butt. The only thing that kept them from completely falling off was his bubble butt itself.
"Daddy, I need to change." Joey pleaded as he once again pulled his shorts back up again.
Dennis looked down at his son and asked, "Already? We changed you right before we got here. Are you telling me you filled that diaper already?"
"Daaaaddddyyy!" Joey whined but very quietly as his dad had already brought enough attention to his diaper as is. "You don't have to broadcast it to the whole world you know." He whispered in an angry tone. "Besides, I wasn't talking about that, I need to change my shorts because these are too big and keep sliding down my butt and showing off you know what to everyone!" He said in an anxious whisper.
I could tell by the way Dennis was checking the line we were in and looking at his watch how much time we had to go before we would be at the ticket counter. We had already been in this damn line for what it seemed like forever. I had already been needing to poop pretty bad and had been frogging it for last few minutes in fact. Now I could feel the sensation of my bladder filling as well. Oh well, I had an excuse for making a mess in my pants, though I guess I did at least at one point have to let Mom know I did have to go and give her at least the choice to either let me leave the line alone and take the chance of being kidnapped by some pedo or allow me to stand there and go in my pants. But Dennis had to ruin everything. He must have seen me squirming.
"Matty, do you need to use the toilet?" Dennis asked me and I really wanted to say no but Mom heard him and looked over at me and saw the signs of my desperation right away.
"Matty, why didn't you tell me you needed to use the bathroom. You should have gone before we got in this line." Mom scolded me as if I was some little child, but then again, the way I look, maybe I was a little child.
"I am sorry Mom, I didn't have to go then, it is just that we been in this dang line for so long that I started to feel the need not too long ago and now I feel like I am about to poop and pee my pants at any moment if I don't find a toilet right away." I told her, but I wanted to tell her as well that if she had put me in a diaper just like Joey here, I wouldn't have had to worry about a toilet.
Mom just looked at me exasperatedly. I knew what she was thinking, I could tell just by looking at her. She didn't want to have to leave the line to take me to the toilet and lose our place. We would probably be late for our flight if that were to happen. On the other hand she didn't want to let me go by myself as she really didn't like the idea of me being in this big airport with it being so busy all alone. I mean, she had made that abundantly clear to me already.
"Matty, I don't know what I am going to do here." She said worriedly. "You really put me into a pickle. We don't have enough time to leave the line and then go back all the way through it, and I am definitely not going to let you go by yourself. Still I don't want you going in your pants either."
At this point Dennis offered a suggestion, "Ma'am, I know you just met us, but I need to take my son to the toilet as well and I don't mind taking Matty with us. You could keep my wife company until we get back and that way we won't lose our places in line."
I could see Mom think about this for a minute but after her glance once again at me squeezing myself, I guess she decided to trust him as she nodded her head and thanked him, "I really appreciate it Sir, I don't know what I would have done without you." At this she even offered Dennis some money for helping her but he refused and said they would be right back.
Dennis took one of his son's hands and flung a bag over his shoulder, then reached out and offered his other hand to me. I felt kind of silly taking this strangers hand being 13 and all but I did have to hold Mom's hand when she brought me inside and until we got into the line, she didn't let go. Even then, she made me stand in front of her so she could see me the whole time. Funny thing was that she got so wrapped up in that phone call that I probably could have walked off or been kidnapped and she would have never even noticed.
It turned out that the bathroom was a good ways and I was having some trouble, as I said, I had been frogging my poop for a while and now walking was making it harder to control and as I walked I felt the muscles trying to hold back my poop suddenly fail on me. I tried my best to squeeze my legs together and anything I could think of to stop it but in the end, the log dropped into my underpants along with a short spurt of pee, before I was able to get control of that back. I came to a complete stop as this happened until I was able to get my bladder control back but that log continued to fall and drop inside my underwear.
Between my sudden burst of tears from embarrassment and the strong stench of shit, it didn't take long for Dennis or Joey to figure out what happened. Dennis tried to sooth me, and wiped my tears away, which were beginning to be a constant thing for me this morning.
"Matty, I am sorry you didn't make it, but let's try and get you there before you wet them too, okay buddy?" As he said this he took my hand again and gently squeezed it before once again trying to find a restroom.
Not more than a few moments later, we saw the sign for the restrooms ahead and were even happy to see that they had a family one, which we all went into. Still needing to pee, I headed to the urinal and used that while Dennis looked for another pair of shorts for Joey. As I pulled my shorts back up, I saw Joey standing there in nothing but his diaper and could tell it was definitely wet. As soon as Dennis located a pair of suitable shorts he turned around and noticed his son's wet diaper as well and frowned. Sighing, he then pulled the back of the diaper away from his butt and sighed even more.
"It looks like I have two stinky butts to clean." I wasn't sure when he said this if he was upset or if he was joking around, I did know that he wanted to get back to the line and that the more time this took, the longer it was going to be before we got back. He then looked at me and saw that I had my shorts still on. "Matty, go ahead and take of your shorts and then carefully take off your dirty underwear. When you do that, I want you to empty the poop in them into the toilet and hand them to me. Do you still need to poop some more." He asked.
I actually hadn't thought about that and even though I felt I probably could go more; I knew that that I was no longer in danger of soiling myself. I was sure by the next time I absolutely needed to go, I would be on the plane. Of course at the time I never thought much about airplane toilets. I just shook my head no to Dennis and did as he instructed. Luckily the poop didn't make that much of a mess in my underwear, but I could see the sizable wet spot in them where I had lost control and started to pee. I checked my shorts and there was only a small damp spot noticeable, which I figured my t-shirt would cover. As I handed my underwear to Dennis, he took out a plastic bag and stuck them in it.
"I will give these to your Mom when we get back in line, that way she can make sure they can be properly washed." He then got out a few supplies, I saw him get out a new diaper for Joey, diaper wipes, diaper cream, and even baby powder, and he started though by first grabbing a diaper wipe. "Matty, I need you to bend over and spread out your legs so that you open up you bum for me so that way I can clean you bum crack for you."
Now, some might have said at being 13 that I was way too old to allow someone to do something like this for me, but I was a kid that was kind of used to having a mother who sometimes still even bathed him and I am sorry to admit it, but I kinda enjoyed the attention she gave me when she babied me. Like I said, I just wished she would go the extra step and put me back in diapers. Anyway, I knew we were in a hurry and I wasn't about to argue about it, and I had just crapped my pants like a 2 year old so at that moment, I really wasn't in the frame of mind of a 13 year old teenager. The other thing to remember was that to him, I could have looked like a scared 9 or 10 year old boy. So I did as he told me and allowed him to clean up my crack, and since I had wet a little, he even cleaned my tiny prick too.
Realizing that I now didn't have any underwear to put on, I asked the man if Joey might have some that I might borrow. I figured we were close to the same size and I was sure that either Mom could pay Dennis for them or we could maybe even mail them back to them.
"I am sorry Matty, due to Joey's unique problem, he rarely ever wears underwear and when he does, they are real thick training pants. All I have here though for our trip is his diapers as we figured it would be easier to deal with things if he just wore them." He explained to me, and as he talked about his son's diapers I looked down at the new fresh clean one that was ready to be put on his son, and suddenly my prick sprung up to it full 2½ inches and without realizing it, Dennis had noticed it all. "Matty, would you like to wear one of Joey's diapers? That way you don't have to worry about another accident." He offered me.
Breathing hard in the excitement at the possibility of this golden opportunity, I nodded my head yes. Then as he pulled out another diaper for me, I suddenly remembered my mom and wondered what she would say, if her 13 year old son were to come out of the bathroom suddenly wearing a diaper.
"What will I tell my mom?" I asked, worried that just by bringing it up, he would not go through with it.
"I will tell you what Matty, you leave that to me. I will talk to her. I am sure she will understand and if not, I doubt she will have you remove it until she has gotten you through security. But I think your Mom seems like a very sweet and understanding woman. Now since we got you cleaned up, how about we get Joey cleaned up and re-diapered?" At this both Joey and I agreed.
The bathroom had one of those baby changing stations in it and according to Dennis there are some that will take the weight of boys as heavy as us, and there are some that don't.
As Dennis looked at the direction's he asked me, "Matty, do you know how much you weigh?"
Being a 13 year old kid who was very self-conscious of how small and immature his body was, I jumped on the scales at home regularly and even measured myself to see if I grew any. It was constantly disappointing to see no changes, but it didn't stop me from hoping and checking for any sign of change.
"Yes Dennis, I weighed myself this morning, I weighed 58 pounds, I usually weigh somewhere between 55 and 60 pounds but never any heavier than that. I seem to always lose a lot of weight in the summer though so I will probably be down to 55 pounds at some point for the rest of it." I told him kind of disappointingly.
As he lifted his son up on the changing table which I was surprised to see hold his weight, he asked, "Why so glum Matty?"
"Well, I guess I haven't told you something because I felt it was even more embarrassing to me. I know I look like a little kid an all." And I pointed down to my baby prick, "And I know this doesn't help, but, I am actually 13 years old. Well I just turned 13 in April but still I am a teenager now and I still look like I am 9 or 10 years old." I stated with frustration. "It doesn't help that I am super sensitive and I am always crying it seems, so a lot of the jerks at my school like to call me a baby and make fun of my size..." And here, I again point to my prick. "...and the size of this as well. I feel like I am never going to grow up and I am going to be little like this forever. The truth is, a small part of me wants to be little forever, just without all the teasing."
"I see; I can understand that. How would you like to help me diaper Joey here?" And as he asked that, my eyes lit up and I nodded my head.
With his guidance, I took off Joey's diaper and used part of it to clean as much of his messy bum as I could. I then used the diaper wipes that Dennis handed me and finished the job, making sure to clean around his cute little prick. I noticed right away that even though Joey was shorter than me, when his prick got hard and stiff as I handled it, that it was definitely bigger than mine and I couldn't help feeling a little jealous. I was than instructed how to use the cream and quickly applied it on Joey. How I so badly wanted to spend more time with that cream and rubbing Joey's private boy areas with it, but with his Dad standing right there, I knew I couldn't do that. I had to wash my hands off after using the cream, as it was real messy. Since Joey's dad had already gotten his new diaper ready before offering me to help change him, while I had been cleaning his bum, his dad stuck the new diaper underneath him. Now all I needed to do was powder him and then tape him up.
Dennis handed me the baby powder and had opened it up just enough to let out a sprinkle and instructed, "now this is just to help to keep the diaper from chaffing and for extra moister protection. You don't need much, just sprinkle a little in the back of the diaper, and the a little on his front, never squeeze the bottle or try to force it out in any way. All you will end up doing is creating a cloud of powder and everyone will be breathing in the stuff."
Again, I did as I was told and he seemed to be pretty impressed. I told Dennis that I had watched my mom changed my brother many time before he was out of diapers. The final thing was to tape the diaper up, I noticed that Joey's diaper seemed to be more like a baby diaper and was surprised to see one that fit kids our size. As I taped the diaper securely, I looked up at Dennis for his approval.
He checked it and smiled, "That was very impressive Matty. You seem to be a pro at what you are doing."
He then lifted Joey down off the table and told him to put the shorts he got out for him on. He then started to pick me up to put me on the table. I wasn't so sure about that. I knew it took Joey's weight but I was afraid that I would break it and fall and hurt myself. So when he tried to lay me on it, I clung to him instead, in fear.
Dennis must be a smart guy because he figured out right away what was wrong and started by trying to calm me and stated, "Matty, trust me, you are not going to break the table. You are not going to fall and hurt yourself. Joey is 50 pounds and you are only 8 pounds heavier. This table is capable of holding a child up to 65 pounds and even those are just an estimate, usually you can get away with another 5 pounds I have found. Anyway, you are well beneath the rated weight for the table. So you don't need to worry, okay?"
At this, I decided to trust him and let him put me on the table. As he laid me down, I felt the table move slightly under my weight and I was about to jump off in fear but he saw it and held a hand down on my stomach to keep me in place long enough to realize that the table was going to take my weight. Once I was calmed, he proceeded to get me ready for my diaper. He lifted my t-shirt up some to give him full access to my waist and crotch and went to work. Just as I had with Joey, he applied the diaper cream to my butt and groin area, though he did something that I didn't even think about with Joey, he stuck a finger with some cream on it after doing my bum crack, a little up in my bum hole. While it kinda hurt, for some reason, it made my prick hard and it felt real good too. Unfortunately, he stopped as the feeling was getting better and better. He then used the powder just like I did on Joey and before I knew it, he had the diaper tightly taped around me and was helping me off the changing table.
While Dennis put the supplies back and washed his hands, I pulled my shorts back on and pulled down my t-shirt. The first thing I wanted to see was if I could tell if I was wearing a diaper or not. The second thing was to make sure my shirt hid the damp spot on my shorts.
"If you are trying to tell if you are wearing a diaper or not, if I didn't know you had one on, I wouldn't be able to tell." Joey tried to make me feel better. He then wondered about himself. "Do these shorts look better on me then the other ones?" He asked, wanting to know my honest opinion.
"They look a lot better than the other ones and they are not showing off your diaper in the back." At this I had to suppress a giggle as I really thought he looked cuter in the other shorts.
Dennis had gotten everything ready to go and once we were ready to head back, took our hands. As we walked back towards the line and our moms, I couldn't help hoping that all the flights would end up being canceled that day and instead our two families would spend the day together getting to know each other. Of course I knew this was just a pipe dream, but it didn't stop me from wishing it but I knew my luck would never be that good. I decided not to waste the time I had with Joey, so on the way back, we talked and he did tell me something else worth noting.
"I just wanted to let you know Matty, that you are not the only one small for your age. I am 11 years old and will be 12 in a couple months. I was probably the shortest kid in my 6th grade class last year and I am almost 12 now and most of the people my age are 5 feet or taller now and I am just four foot one. I feel like a dwarf, plus I have to wear diapers because I can't always tell when I have to go or when I have gone. I had some damage done to my nerves during an accident when I was 7 years old and because of that damage, I now have to wear diapers. Sometimes at home, Mommy and Daddy will let me wear my training pants and put me on a toilet schedule so that I am on the potty like every 45 minutes or so. This way it eliminates most of my accidents and lets me be diaper free for a while. Though, it is very hectic, and stressful, to make sure that I am on the toilet when I am supposed to be." Joey explained to me.
I told him I was sorry to hear that. I also told him I was also only 2 inches taller than him, so I really understood how he felt with that, and hoped that by the time he was my age, he would be taller than me.
I than whispered in his ear as we walked in front of his dad even though he was still holding our hands, "At least your prick is bigger than mine." As I told him this though, he gave me a confusing look and I remembered that he was younger and he tended to use childish names. "You know, your peepee, the thing between your legs that you pee from." At this I could tell he finally understood what I was talking about.
He whispered back, "You're talking about my weenie. I liked how you made it feel good. I kinda wish you had continued," he admitted to me.
"Yeah, your dad made me feel good too, but stopped, and I was afraid of what he would say if I had continued doing things with yours. By the way, where are you guys flying to?" I finally asked the question I had been dying to ask my diapered cutie, since we started talking.
"We are going to visit my Grandma, she lives in England." He answered.
"Wow, cool, maybe we will be on the same flight then." I wasn't sure, but I figured that there could be a very good chance that we were on the same flight.
It would be nice if we were as it would at least give me a friend to talk to and do things with for the long flight over the ocean. It would also take my mind off my fears of flying I hoped.
When we found our moms, we were happy to discover that we were near the front of the line now and if we had taken any longer in the bathroom, I am sure my mother would have been sending the National Guard looking for us.
Feeling a little insecure still, I went up to my mom and hugged her. As she affectionately returned my hug, her hands slipped down to my waist towards the diaper I was wearing. I became suddenly still with worry about what she would say once she discovered what I was wearing beneath my own clothing. I could tell when her fingers felt the top of the diaper I was wearing. It was as if she at first didn't believe it and using her hand started to rub the area some more, just to be sure. I then felt her move her hand down to my padded rear and pat the bulk hidden underneath my shorts. Truthfully I was hoping she wouldn't find out, but it would have been better if Dennis told her first before her finding out on her own. Thinking of Dennis, my eyes dart out looking for his. When I do lock onto his face, I am sure from the fear in my face that he can tell instantly what I am thinking.
"Matty why are you wearing a dia..." Before Mom could even finish what she was saying, Dennis starts to whisper to her. Mom then looks down at me, "Matty, stay here for a minute while I talk to Mr. Brady," she instructs as she then follows Dennis over to the side of the line just out of my hearing range.
As Dennis speaks to my mom I try to hear what he is telling her, but with all the noise in the airport, they are just too far away. I do see him give her the bag with my dirty underwear which causes me to turn a bright shade of red in embarrassment. I got caught staring at them when she looked in my direction with a weird look on her face. After a few minutes of them talking, I saw Mom nod her head in agreement with Dennis and they started to move back towards us.
When they joined us back in line, Mom gave me another look that I couldn't quite decipher before thanking Dennis one last time, "I really do appreciate you helping my son out, and cleaning him up. You have done more than what most people would have done for my son. Are you sure I don't owe you anything, at least for the..." at this she paused and looked at me, maybe she was concerned that I might get upset if she mentioned diapers while in the line. "The protection," she said instead of diaper. "I know that they can be quite an expense and I don't want Matty to be the reason your son has one less," Mom finished.
"It is no problem Mrs. Todd..." at hearing Dennis speak our last name, I guessed that Mom must have told it to him while they had been whispering to each other. "...Joey has plenty and we buy those Pamper size 6 in bulk, so we get a pretty good deal on them," he explained to my mom.
Well, I now knew what type of diaper Joey and I were wearing. I do remember seeing the commercial for Pampers size 6, but I thought it was still a baby diaper since they used babies in the commercial. If they can fit kids our size, why don't they advertise that!? I think they would sell more if they did advertise them for older kids and not just babies.
"By the way Mr. Brady, while you guys were gone, Mrs. Brady and I started to talk and get to know each other. While talking, she mentioned to me that your family was flying out of here on fight DL403 to Heathrow. It so happens that my son here is going to be on that flight as well. Unfortunately I can't go with him and this is his first time traveling by air since he was a baby. Since he is going to be by himself, he is a little anxious and scared about it. I was kind of hoping you and Ellen here wouldn't mind keeping an eye on him while in the plane? It seems that he has found a friend in your son Joey and it might do him a wonder of good if he had someone to take his mind off things for a while on board." My mom asked Joey's parents.
"Sure, we would be happy to keep an eye on him. A lot of times these flights are not always full so I am sure we could even get him seated nearer to us or change our seats so that he and Joey are sitting in front of us." Dennis suggested.
At hearing the news, Joey shouted, "Whoopee!" and jumped up into the air and then gave me a big hug.
I too was happy and loved the idea of sitting with Joey. When he threw himself into my arms, I hugged him back as tightly as I could. While in our embrace, I felt our diaper bulges rub together slightly in our shorts as we hugged. I was grateful at the moment that the diaper was so thick that it contained my stiff prick. I wasn't sure how Joey would take it, if he found out that his cute diapered body in my arms was making me so hard.
I was so happy when we finally got through that line. What was nicer, Joey and his parents waited off to the side for me and my mom to finish checking my bags through and get all my paperwork back. When they did give me my ticket information and all my paper work back, including my new US passport, they had put it all in this plastic pouch thing that I was supposed to keep hung around my neck so that the ticket agents could have access to everything they needed and would know I was an unaccompanied minor. I was reminded that I would have an adult provided by the airline to escort me onto the plane and then once the plane landed at Heathrow, I would have someone from the airline to escort me off the airplane and through customs and out to my dad. After they had gone through everything, they took my bags except for my carry on, and told me the gate number to go to. I then once again took Mom's hand and we followed Joey and his parents towards the security checkpoint where I noticed that there was another line. UGH!
As we headed over towards the security check point, Mom took this time now to ask me about the diaper, "Matty, I had thought you actually grew out of that diaper phase a long time ago?" she whispered her question to me so that no one nearby could hear us as we walked. "I agree with Dennis that you probably had your accident because you are a bundle of nerves right now, and I can see the thought of flying is not really making it any better. I also understand you didn't have any underwear to put on because you had messed the ones you had been wearing, but to wear a diaper at thirteen? Doesn't that embarrass you at all? I would think you would be afraid of being seen wearing one of those and being thought of as a baby. I know how bad you feel when people call you that, like when they tease you over your size and how sensitive you are sweetie?" My mom asked out of concern for me.
To be honest, I really didn't know how to answer her question here, because she was both right and wrong. I mean, I don't like it when people make fun of me and tease me, and I most definitely wouldn't want anyone I knew that I didn't think I could trust, to know I like or want to wear diapers. At the same time, I like diapers so much, just the possibility of people finding out, is not going to be enough to stop me from wanting to wear them. Mom should know this as she had seen how many times I continued to take my brother's diapers, no matter how many times my parents punished me and told me not too. Like I said, this was a very confusing question to answer.
I looked up at Mom and decided to just try and keep it simple and asked, "would you be mad at me if I did like to wear and use diapers? Maybe even have you...a...like...um...maybe put them on me and change me as well?" I asked as I looked at her with pleading eyes.
It looked as if she was thinking about it for a moment then she pulled me in front of her as we reached the line and hugged me and as she did this, she whispered in my ear, "Baby, I am your mommy and I will do anything for you as long as it will not harm you or another person. I will be honest, I don't understand it, but if wearing diapers again makes you happy, I will not keep you from your happiness. It will be nice to have a baby boy in the house again," Mom answered and with that, made me feel much better as she continued to hug me tight for several seconds.
I couldn't believe it; I was actually going to finally have what I want. Now all I had to do was survive a miserable summer with my dad.
I don't care what they say; I will never believe people were meant to fly in a big metal tube with wings on it! I can't tell you how scared to death I was as the plane took off. Boy, it was a good thing that I had a diaper on, as I started peeing in it in fear as soon as the plane started taking off. Even though no one could tell I wet myself, it still embarrassed me that I did. Once again my face lit up bright red and it became a quick sign to Joey at what I did. I was gripping my seat so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. Before I even knew he was going to do it, Joey had put his hand on the front of my shorts which were now bulging in front even more from all the pee I had just deposited in the diaper hidden underneath them. I turned to look at the cute young boy in the seat next to me and found him grinning at me. Boy, that smile of his can do wonders for a person, and it temporarily made my fear and embarrassment vanish from my thoughts as I started to think about Joey and his cute body only in a diaper. Unfortunately my recovery from my embarrassment was only going to be a short lived one.
"You used your diaper, didn't you?" He asked me, much too loudly for my taste, in a giggly voice.
This just turned my face from red to crimson again! Seeing all of this just caused the small eleven-year-old to burst out in loud giggles. This got Dennis's attention, who was sitting with Mrs. Brady directly behind us.
"I hope you two are not up to anything!" He warned.
"We are being good, honest Daddy." Okay, just wait for it; here it comes, ultimate humiliation. 1... 2... 3... "Daddy, I think Matty got scared when we took off and peed his diaper," Joey had to add, and loud enough that half the people in the general area heard what he said and looked in our general direction.
I was so humiliated that I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I did the next best thing and slunk down in my seat the best I could and tried to hide myself from the prying eyes of the people around us. With me being sensitive, it wasn't soon before the waterworks came as well.
Between my sobs and Joey's defensive explanation it was probably hard for Ellen and Dennis to get to the truth of what happened. I guess they did finally figure it all out in the end and spent the rest of the time trying to calm me back down. Deep down, I knew that Joey didn't mean to hurt my feelings but that didn't stop me from feeling bad. I think his parents knew the same thing but I guess they felt their son shouldn't get off the hook without being taught how to respect others and their feelings. I didn't know but I was about to become a part of their plan to teach their son that lesson.
"Matty, since you are up there with our 11-year-old son Joey; could you do a favor for us, and make sure that he doesn't have a wet or messy diaper on?" Dennis asked and he said this as loud, if not louder than his son announcement about me had been.
I couldn't help myself and burst out laughing when I saw the look on joey's face. A part of me knew that if it were me in Joey's place, I would hate it; then again, I was just in Joey's place! As I laughed I knew he wanted to say something but was so embarrassed and flustered at the moment to do so. Instead he just lightly punched me in the shoulder and gave me a face after trying his best to recover his dignity.
"You better stop laughing there Mr. Giggly Butt or there will be more of that coming for you!" He just warned me waving his small fist, ignoring the nearby passenger's looks at us.
Trying to play it off that he actually hurt me, I yelled out, "ouch! Hey! What you trying to do, bruise my tender white skin with your baby knuckles?" I asked him then started to laugh some more.
It took me a few seconds to realize it, but I guess I hurt him with the baby comment. I suddenly felt really bad. I should have known it would have been a very touchy thing for him, even more so then it was for me. Not sure how to salvage this mess without making things worse, I again started to tear up. Trying to hide my shame, I look the other way out the plane window. Since it was my first time flying, that I remembered, Joey allowed me the window seat even though I wasn't so sure if I wanted it. It was this moment I was glad I had it as I could now look away from everyone on the plane. My tears continued to fall, knowing that the little angel next to me was angry from my comment. I didn't know if he would get over it or if he was just going to leave me and sit behind me with his parents instead.
As Joey's father predicted, the big airplane wasn't completely full and the last several rows in fact were empty. The Brady's decided to take seats closer to the middle of the plane as they thought it would be easier for the airplane attendants not to have to worry about the back rows of the plane. We were still able to get 2 rows of seats on the right side of the plane just for us. Each row had 3 seats in them so Joey could have sat with his parents if he wanted too but he instead chose to sit with me. His father sat behind me and his mother was behind him.
When I never hear Joey leave the seat next to me as I expect, I wipe my eyes and take a quick look. He still looks mad and was looking at me like he is waiting for something. It takes me a moment before it becomes clear what he wants. I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner. If it had been me in his shoes and a friend said something hurtful like that, I would only want one thing.
"I'm sorry Joey. I didn't mean that stupid baby crack. I don't think you are a baby. Please can you forgive me and still be my friend?" I beg him.
For a minute the same look on his face lingers and then is slowly replaced with that wonderful smile of his before he replies, "Okay, I'll forgive you, but you're still a bone head!" At that he began that so damn cute giggle of his that I couldn't help joining him in a smile. "Oh, and I'm sorry for yelling out loud about you peeing in your diaper." He whispered as if he finally realized what had started this whole mess in the first place.
I guess Dennis had been leaning over us the last few minutes and listening because when he spoke he scared the holy crap out of me, luckily not literally but figuratively, "it is so nice to see you boys making up so soon after your first fight!" he joked and then turned his attention to me, "Matty, do you need to be changed?" He asked me and not knowing for sure I didn't know what to say. I guess he knew what I was thinking because of what he said next. "Come back here with us for a moment and let us check your diaper real quick and make sure." I noticed this time when the word diaper came up, it was much quieter so that only we could hear the discussion and not the rest of the passengers.
Joey and I were pretty small kids so even in the limited amount of airline space there was plenty of room for me to easily get round him. Now getting around Ellen to get to Dennis, was a totally different matter. When I got to Ellen, I started to try and go around her, but I was taken off guard when she stopped me. I really wasn't expecting what she did next. Before I could stop her, she pulled the front of my shorts and diaper forward and stuck two of her fingers down the front to check the wetness. When I felt her fingers for a moment casually brush by my prick, which had shriveled to nothing, I felt tinges of awkwardness and the redness of shame creeping in my neck and cheekbones. By now you probably know how I feel about girls and women. The only woman I allow to see me naked or even touch my boy parts is my mom. All other women in my life are either nuisances or people I don't think of in anyway sexual. When it comes to women and/or girls and sexual thoughts... `ICKY!' `DISGUSTING!' `CREEPY! ' and just gives me `THE HIBBY JIBBYS! ' ...goes through my mind. The fact that this woman I barely knew sticking her hand in my pants totally creeped me out! Somehow I managed to not yell or scream; in fact I didn't say anything at all. All it would do was bring more unwanted attention to myself. I also realized that this is one of the draw backs of wanting to wear diapers.
After a moment she released me and without realizing I had stopped, I started to breathe again as she nodded and softly told me, "There there Honey, breathe. I am sorry if I startled you. As for the diaper, it can hold more, but please let us know if you go in it again. If you don't tell us and you pee in it again, it may leak and get your shorts wet. If that happens, all you will have to wear when you meet your daddy is a diaper and your t-shirt," she warned me as she sent me back to my seat.
Boy the thought of that possibility just made my body tremble. I wasn't sure if I could take the shame or whatever punishment my dad would dish out to me for embarrassing him like that. As I know, it wouldn't be about me, it would definitely become all about him. Actually as I sat, a part of me thought it kind of funny as I pictured myself being escorted by the airline personnel through Customs at Heathrow to my dad. All the way from the plane in nothing but my t-shirt and a Pampers size 6 baby diaper. I could almost see it play out completely in my head as I was presented to my dad. He would be flabbergasted so much he wouldn't even know what to say to the hussy he wants me to meet standing next to him. For some reason I picture her as some young looking but still trailer trash bitch and as she sees me, her mouth is hanging open because she doesn't know what to say.
As tempting as it sounds just to fuck with him and his girlfriend for screwing up my summer, I would never do it. I am too afraid of what he would do to me, I know he wouldn't kill me, just make me wish more than ever that I was dead. Then there was the embarrassment of being that way in front of all those people. I want to wear diapers and would even like to run around in nothing but a diaper, but only in private areas. Not in places where I can be exposed to the public, that is, VERY PUBLIC exposure.
Now seated once again, Joey looks at me, smiles and asks, "So... How do you like it?"
I give him a look of confusion as I really have no idea as to what he was talking about. I squint my eyes and ask dumbfounded like, "huh?"
This just causes him to smile brighter and show off his beautiful perfect teeth, so unlike my ugly buckteeth. He then jabs a finger into the front of my shorts and deep into the squishy part of the soggy diaper. In fact, I can feel his finger press near my groin and suddenly old faithful is once again standing tall and proud; screaming out to anyone who was looking that he is a good little soldier just waiting for some unknown order. Again my face goes red as I was sure he felt my prick rise as he poked and prodded the area. Now I don't believe for one moment he had meant for that to happen and I knew it wasn't what he meant when he asked me that question. Instead he got an unexpected response, which made him temporarily forget his question. The question which I realized a minute or two later had to do most likely about my soggy diaper; which I loved, by the way!
He leaned in close to me so that his parents couldn't hear and whispered, "Wow, your wiener got real big and stiff all of a sudden!"
Oh how so bad I wanted to tell this cutie that he was the one who was responsible for that, then lean over and kiss him deeply.
To be honest, when it came to actual sex, I was still quite naïve. I heard a lot of rumors but that was all they were and they were obviously dealing with the opposite sexes together, not two boys together. When we had Sex Ed., it did not cover any gay topics nor did it cover self-gratification, not that I knew there was such a thing as self-gratification. So I really didn't understand all of this. All I had to go on was my feelings and what I have found out that made me feel good. No one else has ever given me the talk about the birds and the bees either and when I actually blatantly asked Dad about sex the last time I saw him, he almost choked on what he was eating. He told me not to worry about it and he would tell me when I entered puberty. Well I am tired of waiting for puberty; I would like to know now! Unfortunately due to my parents' strict enforcement, I have no access to the Internet without their complete supervision and also due to parental locks that I have never been able to get around. It is the same with the school computers, which block access to anything remotely above a G rating it seems!
So my knowledge of sex so far is a lot of hugging, cuddling, kissing, and just wanting to touch every part of this boy's body. I will tell you though; Dennis did give me an idea when he stuck his finger in my butt. I really wanted to do that with Joey and I wanted him to do that with me just to see how it would feel as It kind of felt thrilling at the same time a little painful as it was pushed in. The only problem I could see was, how could I make this fantasy happen with a boy I just met, and one that I might never see again after this flight is over?
I am not sure if I was more relieved or more anxious that after everyone boarded the plane, we didn't take off right away. Never being on a plane before that I remembered of, I really didn't know if this was normal or not so I just sat there and tried my best to stay calm and pass the time talking with Joey. I wasn't really sure how long we had been sitting there talking when I started to notice that some of the other passengers were getting a little impatient. Joey must have noticed as well because when I looked over at him he was looking at some of the other passengers I had noticed. He then looked back up at me with a concern look before standing up and looking at his parents.
"Dad, what is taking so long for us to leave? If there was a problem with the plane to keep us from taking off, wouldn't the Captain said something by now?" I listened in as he asked his father as I wanted to know too.
"I am not sure what is going on here Joey. I am sure if it takes much longer the captain or one of the flight attendants will tell us something. I know it seems like it has been a long time since we boarded..." at this he looked at his watch before continuing, "but it only has been about 15 minutes since they closed the doors. Things like this don't happen all the time but when they do we have to be patient." Mr. Brady explained.
As if reading our minds, an announcement was finally made by one of the flight attendants letting us know that there would be a short delay. That short delay ended up being a lot longer than any of us were expecting and the cause was never explained to any of us passengers. By the time we took off, we were over an hour behind schedule. This of course made me concerned as I knew my father was going to be going to the airport to pick me up and he doesn't like wasting his time. I was afraid he would go there and be mad at me for wasting an hour of his time even though it wasn't my fault the plane was late. My concern made me decide to ask a flight attendant about this. Within a few minutes of pushing the call button on my armrest, I was greeted by a friendly stewardess.
"Ma'am, I am worried that since we are now going to be late, my dad will be very upset for wasting his time coming to pick me up!" I stated in a panicky voice.
The stewardess smiled at me and calmly explained, "don't worry about your father, he will be informed of any delay we have and that it was unavoidable."
The flight was scheduled to take 7 hours and 40 minutes to get there but according to the Captain, due to the hour delay, once the plane reaches its cruising altitude, they would be increasing the original planned speed, in order to shave off about 30 minutes of that time. This would mean that we would only end up being a half hour late instead of an hour. The last thing I really wanted to do was meet my dad in a really bad mood because the plane was late, but I guess I have no other choice now.
For my 13th birthday, my mom bought me my first real watch that wasn't some piece of junk that came out of a cereal box or one of those cheap machines that have toys in little clear plastic containers. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was waterproof as she didn't want me to ruin it right away by getting it wet by accident. Anyway, I was able to keep track of time by that as I had gotten a little bored after about 5 hours into the flight when everyone started to fall asleep, including Joey. I guess he and his parents didn't go to bed as early as I did last night as even with the medication Mom had given me, I was still wide awake.
Right before everyone had dozed off, they had come around and fed us. Now I have heard a lot of bad things about airline food, but I really liked the meal I got and found out it was actually a special meal that Dad had paid extra for me to get while on board. It wasn't a small little thing either. They actually served me a nice boneless fried chicken breast, mashed potatoes, green beans (Hey don't laugh, I happen to like green beans!), a roll, and a slice of blueberry pie. When Joey saw what I got to eat, man was he jealous as all he got was a standard meal that his parents had ordered ahead at the time of their booking. I offered to share my meal with him, but his parents refused to let me. This just made Joey pout and get more jealous as he watched me devour every bite of it. We also got offered pretzels, peanuts, and pop. Man I was like a kid in a candy shop when they started offering pop; it was something Mom didn't allow me to have a lot of due to my ADHD.
Now that everyone is asleep, I can feel my stomach rumbling and I knew that my big meal I had was pushing down on my system and forcing something out the other end. I had already wet in the diaper again earlier. Now, with all the pop I had drank, I could feel the need to pee already rising once more. I had remembered Joey's mom warning me about getting it changed after a 2nd wetting as a 3rd would definitely leak into my shorts. With everyone asleep, I didn't know what to do. I knew I could probably hold my poop for a while longer, but I wasn't going to be able to hold my pee for very long at all, not with all the pressure I was feeling in my bladder.
Thinking hard about what to do, I decided to try and wake up Joey by shaking him a little. As I reached down to shake him, I was stopped by the cuteness of the sleeping beauty in front of me. You know, he was so adorable with his cute lips puckered up as if he is used to sucking on something in his sleep. It was as if he was a thumb sucker who has recently tried to kick the habit but is having a hard time doing so. Then there was his eyes all scrunched up and how his noes flared as he breathed. I truly didn't want to disturb the little guy as he looked so damn cute and peaceful in his sleep right then. It was a time I really wished I had a camera. I wish I could have let him continue sleeping peacefully like he was, but I didn't know what else to do as I didn't want wet shorts.
I was getting increasing messages from my bladder telling my brain that it needed to go now. It was as if my brain and bladder were having a power struggle within me. My bladder sends a message to my brain, "Hey brain, march the kid's small skinny diapered butt to the nearest airplane toilet. Once he is there, make him take off the diaper and use the damn potty like a big boy is supposed to."
Brain answers back, "Sorry, not going to happen in this or any lifetime!"
To understand my brain's answer, you would have to been on the little exploration of the plane Joey and I was on. Before our meal came and after Joey and I got bored sitting in our seats, we asked if we could explore the plane a little. Joey's parents told us we could as long as we behaved ourselves and didn't bother the other passengers or the people working on the plane. They warned us that the first sign of a problem though, that we would be back in our seats for the remainder of the flight. We promised we would behave and then took off to explore. Turns out, there's not really that much to see on an airplane. I guess all those places they show in the movies are just off limits to passengers. Not sure why he decided to since we were diapered, but Joey decided to show me one of the toilets. Boy was I shocked at how small it was.
"Wow Joey, how is your Dad going to change us in here?" I asked as I looked around at the small enclosed space.
Once again, Joey made his joyful little giggle that made my heart soar further than the plane and stated, "You're silly, Daddy won't change us in here. He will change us out on the seats where there is plenty of room to do the job." At hearing this I gulped and looked a little terrified.
I wasn't too sure I liked the idea of being changed out in the open where a passenger or even one of the flight attendants could possibly walk by and just see me naked and getting changed.
I guess Joey has his dad's power of seeing into my mind as he stated, "Don't worry about those others out there, you will never see them again. I know I was a little embarrassed earlier when Daddy talked real loud about my diaper, but then I just remembered that I would never see any of them again, so who cares what they think!" Joey told me honestly, he then got a silly face and asked, "Do you want to see something neat?" Not knowing what he was going to show me, I nodded my head.
Now, I was not prepared at all for what was about to happen. When he reached over to flush the little toilet in the small bathroom, I didn't think much of it, until it made a great sucking sound like it wanted to suck us right through the damn hole and out the plane.
I looked up at Joey with a scared look and out of panic swore, "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" I cried out in shock.
Joey just kept giggling as I stood there a little shaken up. I wasn't sure if I wanted to throttle the little boy or just kiss that cute giggling face of his all over the place. Most likely, first throttle, and then give plenty of kisses afterwards.
"Airplane toilets use something called a vacuum to suck everything down into a tank. That is why it makes all that noise it does. I understand how you feel Matty, you would never catch me sitting on one of those things either! I don't want my butt sucked down into that damn hole!" Joey laughed but I could also tell he was serious as to not wanting to sit on it.
I knew right then and there, I was going to use only diapers on this trip for sure. If no diapers were provided for my return trip, well, I am sorry for the condition of what my pants are going to be in and the people who will have to be near me. This made me think about my Dad again and what he was going to say when I showed up at the airport wearing a diaper. I could just take it off in the plane before we land but after listening to what it would be like going through customs and how long it could take from Mom last night, I felt that I would feel better wearing it until I made it through there at least. The chances of me finding a way to take the diaper off after that before my dad spots me sounded unlikely.
"I wonder if Mom called him and told him I was wearing a diaper on the plane?" The question popped in my head suddenly and as it did my face went a bright shade of red at the thought.
I am sure anyway, that if Mom had warned Dad it, she wasn't trying to embarrass me but only trying to ward off any awkward moments that might come up. This might even be at least easier to bring up the possibility with my dad allowing me to wear a diaper for the return trip, especially if he realizes there might be a necessity. If he knew how bad the airplane ride scared me and actually caused me to wet myself, just maybe he will see it my way.
I am not sure how long I was lost in my thoughts when Joey poked me in the side and got my attention. Just to make sure he had it, he flushed the toilet again and you guessed it, made me once more jump a little as the sucking sound again scared me. This just made him giggle more as I gave him the evil eye. I knew I was 13 and shouldn't be afraid of being sucked down into a toilet; at least that was what one part of me was saying. The problem was, I had another part of me that seemed stronger, and it was telling me it was very possible. In fact, if I got even near it, I might just get sucked into its vortex and down into the airplane waste tank!
So now you know why I don't want to use the stupid bathrooms here on the plane. There was one thing though that I considered using the bathroom for and it was not even me who suggested it in the first place, shockingly, it was Dennis who said something about it when he noticed that we had both been in there for quite a while together.
"What are you boys doing in there together, trying to join the mile high club?" He laughed at his joke.
Of course, not knowing what he was talking about (Remember, I got parents who don't even like me watching PG13 films, let alone R rated ones.) I innocently asked, "What is the `Mile High Club'?"
That just made Joey's dad laugh even more and even Joey giggled. I was starting to feel real stupid now that even Joey, an 11 year old knew something that I didn't know. I looked back and forth between them, waiting for one of them to explain to me what it was and I was starting to become a little angry for being laughed at as well.
Finally Dennis wiped the tears of joy from his eyes and stopped laughing and gave me a long look. I could see that he was considering something and I began to wonder if he was deciding if he should be telling me about this `Mile High Club'. The thing was, he had already mentioned it and I wasn't going to leave it alone until he or Joey finally told me.
"I probably shouldn't be telling you this, so please don't go talking about it in front of your folks, okay?" I nodded my head in agreement and he continued, "the Mile High Club is just what they call it when someone has sex on an airplane during flight. I assume that you have learned about sex by now?" Again I nodded my head. "Good, anyway, I wasn't trying to say that you were gay or anything or that you two were having sex, so please don't think I was trying to imply anything there, I was just joking around."
When he had told me this, I so much wanted to admit to him that I was gay, but once again, I was too scared to do it. Even though it sounded like he didn't have a thing against gays from the way he was talking, he never outright said he supported it. The other thing was, how would he feel about me being so close to his son if he found out that I was gay.
So here I was, my need to pee growing even more intense by the minute. No matter how much I shook Joey it didn't seem to fully wake him. He would wake briefly and look around dazed for a few second only to fall back asleep without saying a word. I decided to try another tactic and pulled up his t-shirt and exposed his cute little belly. Then without mercy, I went in for the kill and started to tickle it until he had no choice but to wake up in laughter.
"Stop-stop-oh-god please stop! You are making me flood my diaper and I think it is going to leak!" He giggled uncontrollably.
Seeing him finally awake and at my bidding, I stop my tickle torture, plus I didn't want him making any more noise. I really didn't want to wake up his parents as I really wanted this time with him alone. It would most likely be my only chance to have this special moment with this god-like boy. "Good!" I whisper to him and look back at his folks and am happy to see are still asleep after all his loud giggles. "I can change you after you change me. I am about to burst and need changed now." I pleaded, to show him how desperate I was, I grabbed ahold of my diapered crotch.
He got the point real quick about me wanting him to be quiet and whispered back, "Mom and Dad won't like us doing this I don't think, then again, they never said I could never do it before. He did have you diaper me earlier and I do know how to put a diaper on too as I have diapered my little cousin before. We just got to sneak my diaper bag out without waking up my parents." Joey stated after some thought.
I had completely forgotten about the diaper bag. In all my plans I never even considered the diapers supplies one bit! I had no idea where the bag was but Joey knew exactly where his parents put it. That became the next big problem, they had put the bag into the compartment above our seats and due to both Joey and I being vertically challenged, getting the bag was not going to be possible for us. It was quickly becoming clear to me that my luck was once again against me and I would have to wake one of the parents for sure. My bladder was past the point of no return and was now springing small leaks here and there in the sodden diaper. Soon the dam would burst completely and I knew I needed to do something before that happened.
I think I am falling in love with Joey more and more. With his knowledge from his many trips on airplanes, he knew just what to do. I will have to admit at first I wasn't sure when he turned to me and said, "Be right back." But as he looked at me with a look of self-confidence that I myself have never had, I somehow knew he would be able to pull off whatever he was doing as I continued to listen to what he had to say, "Just go to the back row in the back of the plane and take off your shorts and wait for me. That way if you can't hold it before I get back or until we get your diaper off, if the diaper leaks it will go on the floor and not on your shorts."
I hugged him before he took off one direction and I went the other. I knew his idea was a good one for me, but I was sure that the airline attendants would not be very happy to find a puddle of pee back there on their carpeted floor. Oh well, I figured it was better there than my only pair of shorts I had to get off the plane in. As soon as I got back in that back row, I did as Joey suggested and took off my shorts and put them on my seat. I didn't even consider the idea that someone might come by and see me in just my t-shirt and a very wet baby diaper. All I cared about then was saving my shorts from becoming wet.
As I stood back there slouched down to keep from being seen easily, I suddenly felt a strong bladder spasm and lost what little control of my bladder I had left as a strong jet of pee gushed into my already very wet diaper. If someone would have taken a picture of my face at that moment, they would have seen the weirdest expression of joy and contentment on it. These feelings not only came from finally relieving the pressure in my full bladder, but also the feelings I was getting from the pee flowing all around my prick and little boy marbles, making the area nice, warm, and wet.
Amazingly, as the last few drops of my urine dribbled into my diaper, it hadn't had a major leak like I had expected. I could feel a small amount of wetness at the last minute make its way out of the inside right thigh where the elastic of the diaper seemed to fail. It was then that I suddenly remembered my socks and shoes. Now in a race to beat the wetness that was starting to buildup on my inner thigh and slowly making its way down the inside of my leg, I instantly went for my shoes. Quickly, without even untying them, I yanked my shoes off my feet and before they could get wet, my socks immediately joined them. Picking up my sock and shoes from the floor, I placed them on the seat, making sure that my socks were tucked in my shoes so as not to lose them.
The little dribble did continue down my leg and did make a small wet spot under my right foot. Checking the diaper out, I could tell that it was really bloated and now hanging low on my hips and I wasn't sure if the tapes were going to hold it on me much longer. Unlike Joey, I didn't have as nice a bubble butt as he did and nothing other than the tapes and my now stiff prick to help keep up the heavy wet Pampers between my legs.
I was about to take the wet diaper off of myself and just throw my shorts back on, when Joey jumped out of nowhere and scared the living crap out of me, "Aiiiiiiiieeeeeeeekkkkkkkeeeee!!!!" I shouted out some weird sounding guttural cry that I am sure woke some of the passengers from their sleep.
I wanted to scream at him but I had been so scared that I hadn't gotten my breath back yet. Instead I balled up my fist and lightly thumped him one on the shoulder while glaring at him.
He just giggled and playfully said in a babyish voice, "Ouchy, I tink you hurted my trowing arm. Now I can't pway t-ball no-mower."
I couldn't help myself and snorted trying to stop my laughter, "What are you three? I thought you were 10." Then no longer able to hold it back, went into my own giggle fits.
It wasn't until I got myself back in control when I noticed he had the diaper bag and I gave him a questioning look. He just smiled his cheerful little cute smile that even the Sun would melt in the presence of, and winks at me. This only makes me want to know even more what he isn't telling me. I begin with a barrage of questions, trying my best to wear him down and find out the answers to what he is hiding. Of course he can see that I am going to hound him on this until he tells me.
He finally smiles and states, "I just went and got a flight attendant and told him that I needed my bag to change my diaper and my friends diaper. He was skeptical at first until I showed him my diaper and told him that some kids still had problems and if he had an issue with it he could talk to my parents. I did tell him though that I wouldn't bother them now as they didn't get much sleep last night and are trying to get some now. Boy did his attitude change real quick! Like that he helped me get my bag and told me to let him know when I was done and he would put it back for me."
Wow, I couldn't believe that Joey was able to pull that off. I know I wouldn't have ever thought of his solution. I also know damn well that I wouldn't even have had the balls to talk to an adult the way he did either. If my dad had found out I did something like that, he probably wouldn't care if it embarrassed him or not, he'd probably strip my butt bare right there in the airport and beat me with his belt until my butt was black and blue. Shoot, I knew I already had one whipping coming from him for failing school this year. He had promised me that if I got another bad report card this year, that when he saw me this summer he was going to whip my butt so hard I wouldn't be able to sit on it for the entire visit. As I had already mentioned, I not only had a bad report card once again, but I completely failed 7th grade! I was sure that it was a guarantee that I would soon be bent over a bed or some other piece of furniture, with my butt tasting my father's leather belt very soon. It was also another reason that I wasn't so anxious about seeing him so soon! I mean, I already suffered Mom's spanking; I didn't need back to back spankings! You know they say when your parents get divorced that means you get twice the presents, well someone forgot to tell my parents that, it seems. The only thing I seem to get is twice the punishment! There goes that damn bad luck thing again!
As these jumbled thoughts go knocking around through my head I notice that Joey is still flashing that glorious angelic smile of his at me. Suddenly all rational thought and restraint leaves me in that moment. I am instead taken over by an animalist urge of lust and want that I can no longer fight off and don't even try. I reach out and grab Joey's t-shirt before allowing myself to fall backwards into the seats, bringing him down on top of me! As Joey collapse on me, our lips make contact and I take this moment to finally kiss this gorgeous boy as deeply as I can. Never having kissed a boy before, or for that matter anyone outside a family member (if you could even call that really kissing), I found myself hoping that it was as good for him as it was for me. I am not really sure how long we laid there and explored each other's mouth and swapped spit, all I could tell you was it seemed like it was both an eternity and at the same time, not nowhere near long enough. The thing was, I still needed to get my diaper changed before I leak, and then there was still the matter of Joey's very wet diaper too. Also my mind was starting to come back to me and I was starting to realize what I had done. Was I forcing myself onto Joey or was he really participating in this? The only way to find out was to let him up and hope to god that for once good luck would be with me.
Finally breaking away from our kiss, I looked up at Joey to see if he was upset at what I had just done. There was no sign in his eyes that he was angry with me but there did not seem to be any sign of desire like my own as well. Joey seemed to show no emotion whatsoever towards what just happened, which left me even more confused. Neither one of us said anything for the moment as Joey began to un-tape my very wet and bloated diaper. As he pulled it away from the front of me, exposing my wet and small shriveled prick, he had a weird looking facial expression across his face. I wasn't sure but I took it as him being relieved that I was just wet. Then again, it could have just as easily meant that he was disappointed that I hadn't pooped. This continued to make it hard to read him and I hated not knowing for sure what he was thinking. I know I could have asked him but I was too afraid to speak. What if he were upset with me and were to give me an answer I didn't want to hear? I felt it was best to not say anything at all unless he said something, which for now he didn't.
Due to me only being wet, it didn't take Joey long to clean me. All it took was a few diaper wipes and he quickly had all the pee removed from my skin. He pulled out a new clean diaper and placed it under my butt then started to dig for the other diaper stuff that his dad had used on us earlier before we got on the plane. I watched interestedly as he first pulled out the baby powder and then the cream that I remembered giving me that great feeling that I loved so much.
Before Joey began to start the process of re-diapering me, he took the dirty diaper wipes and stuck them in my wet diaper. He then rolled up that diaper in a tight ball and using the tapes on them, tape the ball closed tight. It was while he was doing this that I noticed that if he wasn't going to say anything, then I was going to have to say something. I do have to say that he didn't yell or get visibly angry when I kissed him. Now I could choose to look at this with my usual outlook on life and say it is just my bad luck waiting to hit me hard. The other way I could look at it is, I could decide to take it as a good thing. It may just be instinct or just wishful thinking, but I was pretty sure that Joey enjoyed the kiss as much as I did. If I was right on this which I think I was, I wonder how much he would be into trying out before he would say no. Knowing that time was limited and that right now was the best time to get away with trying out a few things, I decided to chance it and see how far Joey might be willing to go, if at all.
"Um... Joey. Before you re-diaper me, I was wondering if we can get you out of your wet diaper and then... um..." I started to ask him but was so nervous and afraid that I wasn't able to get my full question out.
"Why, we should get you done first before starting me." He tried to say as it made more sense to him then to not finish me now he had me this far.
"Well...um... I have a couple of questions and maybe an experiment I want to try." I explain the best I can to him. "Joey, did I upset you when I kissed you?" I asked and followed it up with, "the reason I ask is because you hadn't said anything to me since I did that until now."
For a moment Joey didn't say a word as it seemed as he was thinking about what to say and when he finally figured out what it was his facial features softened as he spoke, "I am sorry Matty, I really didn't know what to say when you did that. To be honest, you surprised me when you did that and other then my mom, no one has ever kissed me on my mouth and no one has ever done it like you just did. I just didn't know what to say because I was shocked. I did like it a little but I guess the shock of it happening made it less enjoyable. I think I will like it better the next time when I know it is going to happen."
I realized that Joey was right; I took full advantage of him and did force myself onto him. This of course would make it less enjoyable for him. I wish I could go back and change that and given him the opportunity of a choice then. He might have said no but it would have been his choice. I don't think I would have liked it very much if someone; even another boy forced themselves on me. Then again, who knows?
"I am sorry Joey, that was wrong of me. I hope you will forgive me and give me another chance of making you feel good." At this he looked me and smiled and I took this as meaning yes as I continued. "I really want to take off your diaper before you diaper me. I want us to be naked together for a little bit if that is okay. Who knows, maybe we can try some things." With this, I remove my shirt.
I wasn't yet sure if Joey was up for this or not but was happily surprised, when he flashed his smile and nodded his head. "Okay, that sounds like fun but we can't take up too much time because Daddy and Mommy will probably wake up soon." The next part he stated with a slightly red face, "also, I'm not sure how long I can go before I might have an accident." With that said, we exchanged places.
For some reason it never even came to my 13-year-old brain how self-conscious I had been not too long ago about wearing a diaper, especially with everyone near us knowing about it due to Joey's very loud announcement. Now, here I was, butt naked on a plane full of people where at any moment someone could catch us. No, right that moment my mind was on one thing, getting Joey's pants off and revealing him in his cute used baby diaper. He probably would never understand how seeing him like that was such a great turn on for me and for now I felt it wasn't something I could share with him. As badly as I wanted his pants off, I first needed to get his shoes off, so that is where I started. At least Joey had those Velcro strap type shoes, which made it a lot easier and faster to take them off. In a matter of seconds, both his right and left shoe were sitting on the floor. Since I didn't have to worry about his socks getting wet like mine, I didn't bother with taking them off, instead I moved up to his shorts and with relative ease, managed to pull them down and off of him.
Like mine, his diaper was heavily saturated and bulging. In fact, I was surprised he hadn't sprung a leak already like had, as his diaper looked like it may have been even more bulging than my own had. I couldn't help myself as I felt the huge wet bulging front of the diaper and then further ran my hands around it to the areas I could touch without making him lift his butt. It seemed from what I could tell, even after sticking a finger down the backside of his diaper just to see how wet it was back there, that every part of the diaper was soaked. After comparing it to my diaper, I realized that mine didn't get soaked all the way up as far in the back as his did and instead mostly stayed around the front and between my legs. I wasn't sure why this was the case as I studied my diaper while at the same time continuing to feel my cutie's very wet diaper.
I guess he must have figured it out due to my actions as suddenly Joey explained why his diaper absorbed more than mine had. "If you are trying to understand why mine has held so much more pee than yours, my mommy explained it to me one time after someone I knew who was a bedwetter, asked why I didn't leak. She told me that it was due to the fact that unlike some people who wet in a diaper, like you did for an example, I wet a little at a time over a long period, where you wet in one big gush. Since I wet in small amounts the diaper is able to handle my urine better and absorb and wick it. When you pee in one big gush, it has trouble absorbing it fast enough and that results in it going mostly in one spot. This means that it will result in it leaking much faster, and the diaper padding not being fully used. This is going to be the same result for a person who is a bedwetter who wets in one big gush instead of small amounts throughout the night, like the friend of mine does. Now my mommy told me some bedwetters are like me and pee small amounts throughout the night because they have small bladders and can't control them at all while asleep unlike other bedwetters like my friend who just don't wake up when their bladder is full and sends them the warning signal."
"Oh, I guess that makes sense." I stated even though I really had no clue if he was right or not.
"Well, are you going to continue gawking and rubbing my diaper, or are you going to help me out of it?" Joey giggled and sent my heart soaring higher at his joyous laughter.
Blushing a little but still on a sexual high with this diapered cutie lying in front of me, I began to un-tape the two tapes holding the diaper on him. The scent of his urine was strong, as if he had been cooking it for a few days or something, slowly boiling away all the water and leaving just the urea. Just like myself, he hadn't messed his diaper and I was grateful as I didn't want to waste a lot of time with cleanup right now. I grabbed a diaper wipe and started to clean the pee from Joey's skin. As I used up the first wipe, I grabbed another. I used this second wipe to clean his butt cheeks and in between them. At one point I covered my finger with a part of the wipe and pushed it into his boy hole, just past my knuckle and twisted it inside of him. Boy did his eyes grow real big when I did that, for a minute I was sure he was going to smack me or push me away, instead he started to moan in pleasure as I moved my figure inside of him. I knew he loved it when his prick became hard little twig. Seeing his hard member made me want to move on besides I knew that we didn't need to waste any more time than need be. To Joey's disappointment I removed my finger and used one last diaper wipe to go over all of him one more time to get anything I might have missed. Then I grabbed the diaper that Joey had gotten out for me and lifted his butt up enough to slip it under him. With a big grin on my face I picked up the diaper cream and for a moment I could see confusion in Joey's eyes at why I would be grinning so much about this. It wasn't until I had opened the cap and squeezed a good amount of it into my hands and was warming it up to get it ready to apply on my little angel that I could tell from his expression that he understood. I decided to get all of the parts that I wasn't going to be focused on done first and out of the way, this meant that the only thing left was his stiff prick. Here I took my time and slowly rubbed the cream into his stiffy, suddenly his moaning started to get louder and made me worried that other passengers might overhear him if he kept it up.
"Hey Joey, I know that this must feel awesome and great, but man, all that moaning you are doing is going to alert the passengers that something is going on back here." I whispered my warning to him.
I could see that he understood my message and tried his best not to make as much noise, in the end he resorted using his shorts as a gag to help muffle his sounds as he couldn't fight off the great feelings he was having. I suddenly saw panic in his eyes as he quickly pulled his shorts from his mouth and whispered to me that he was about to pee. I wasn't sure what to do at this moment and was still rubbing the cream into his prick. It never occurred to me that I could just go ahead and pull the diaper up between his legs and hold it in place until he was done. Instead I just went completely dumb it seemed, not having a clue what to do.
It was then I heard Joey moan loudly in enjoyment and say a little too loudly, "Oh shit, it's too late! I'm going to pee!"
Afraid that he was going to do just that, I let go of him and backed off as far as I could, which wasn't that far. I watched in fascination as his prick started to twitch uncontrollably for a few seconds and as it twitched, the rest of his body seemed to react to it as well. His back arched and all his muscles seemed to tighten and it looked like whatever was happening that he was enjoying a whole lot. Another thing I noticed was that the expected geyser never came, which just confused me. I thought he said he had to pee? When he was done with all of the twitching and everything else, I decided to find out what was going on.
"So Joey, what was it like? You seemed to enjoy whatever was happening to you." I pointed out to him. "Oh and do you still need to pee?" I asked bewildered. "I never saw you pee like you said you needed to do." I questioned him in wonderment.
"Wow Matty, that was terrific! I never felt anything that felt that good before. I thought I needed to pee, I even thought I was peeing when that really great feeling came over me but I guess if you said I didn't then I didn't. I know I don't have to now so I don't know what made me feel like I had to before." He tried his best to explain to me. "You probably should diaper me now just in case. I really don't want to take any chances and end up peeing all over everything."
I knew he was right and as much as I hated covering up his cute little prick which had now gone limp, I did just that, but not before sprinkling just a little baby powder on him just like his dad had taught me. I then brought the front of the diaper up between his legs and taped it tightly on him.
"How is that?" I asked him, wanting to know if I did it right and to his liking.
Joey checked out my work then looked back at me and smiled. "It looks great! Feels nice and tight." He then gave me a look that seemed to have some mischief behind it. "I think it is time we get you in a diaper too."
Again we switched places as I once again laid down on the row of seats and Joey got another diaper out and ready for me. I waited in anticipation for my turn to feel the good feelings that Joey had just experienced. I really hoped there was a way to get my dad to allow me to somehow visit Joey and his family while I was in England. It was probably a stupid fantasy to think my dad would ever let me do this or believe that Dennis and Ellen would be willing to let their son come visit me at my dad's place. Luck was just never on my side it seemed so when chances like this presented itself, I needed to not pass up any moment of it because I most likely will never have another chance again.
Joey smiled at me as he slipped the new diaper under my butt. I helped him by lifting myself up enough to allow him to position it in the right spot before plopping back down onto the soft Pampers material. My prick was so stiff it felt like it was going to snap in two as it tried to strain against its own self! I wasn't sure if Joey was hard inside his diaper at this moment, but I was hoping so as I watched him squirt a nice amount of diaper cream into his hand and then start to apply it to my little stiffy. I about howled out in pleasure instantly as his hand started manipulating my little boy rod and quickly understood why Joey couldn't stop himself from doing so a few moments ago when I had him in this position. Not wanting to draw attention to our play, just as Joey had, I looked for something to help me muffle the moans that I was starting to produce. My eyes fell onto my shirt; I reached out and quickly snatched it up and shoved it into my mouth, using it as a gag to quiet my moans of ecstasy!
"Matty, I really hope you won't be upset with me but I just can't do the butt thing. I really liked it when you did it to me and I feel bad not doing to you too, but I just can't get over the idea of sticking my finger up another boys butt. I hope you will forgive me and will be okay with me just rubbing the cream into your weenie?" Joey apologized to me.
I won't lie, I had hoped he would do the butt thing with me as well but if he wasn't comfortable with it yet, I wasn't going to make him. I was more than happy just to have him play with my little stiff prick and give me that same feeling that he just had. It may be my imagination, but I felt as if Matty may have been a little better at this than I was. The way he had me and my body screaming for more and trembling in his very grasp, made it feel that way!
Not wanting Joey to feel bad about anything I pull my shirt out of my mouth and try to smile, through my moans I somehow answer him, "Joey that is okay, what you are doing is feeling amazing and I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do." I then quickly replace the shirt to stop my increasing moans as I start to feel a strange sensation come over me.
It is hard to describe the feeling that suddenly seems to burst throughout my body. It seems as if several things are happening all at once. First it feels as if I have to pee again but I am almost positive that can't be as I just drained my bladder, still my prick feels as if pee is making its way towards it as if I had already let it go in my bladder unknowingly. I feel as if electrical explosions are going off inside of me and not in a bad way but they make me feel awesomely good, no, make that GREAT! The last that I can really describe is that I can feel my body muscles seem to stiffen and get rigid as if I was trying to show off every muscle in my body. Several other feelings also happen but they are too complex for my young brain to describe or understand. As for needing to pee, I considered telling Joey but decided against it as I remembered what Joey had said about thinking he needed to pee and not peeing.
Joey must have sensed something because he starts to quicken his pace with his rubbing on my prick and that is when the feeling of peeing suddenly becomes so strong and good that I no longer care if I do pee all over the place. I couldn't stop it now anyway as I suddenly felt my prick start to begin to twitch in Joey's hand. I wasn't sure how many times I felt it twitch, all I know was it was the most intense feeling I had ever felt before and I knew right there that I wanted to feel it many more times.
As quick as the intense great feeling came over me, no matter how much I wanted it to last, it was as quickly over with. Within seconds my once standing proud prick was reduced to its shrunken and embarrassing state. For a moment, Joey just smiled and let it flop a little bit between his fingers before finally letting it go and grabbing the diaper cream and finishing the job since I already had cream on my prick, all he had to do was coat the rest of the area the diaper covered. He then used a wipe to clean his hands off before coating me with a dusting of powder. Finally, being silly, with a goofy smile on his face he waved bye but not to me, to my prick as he pulled the front of the diaper up between my legs and covered it up with it. Then he expertly made sure that the two tapes were tightly taped in placed before grabbing my shorts and slipping them on my legs and pulling them up as far as he could, I had to raise my butt up for him to get them up the rest of the way and as he did them up I remembered I still had my shirt in my mouth and removed it. I got up and put the rest of my stuff back on. I was quite sad when he started to put his own shorts on as I wanted to do it for him like he did for me, but I guess it was starting to get risky as we had been back there for too long.
Once we were dressed, we made our way back to our seats. I think we both breathed a sigh of relief when we found that both of Joey's parents were still asleep. As I sat down in my seat, Joey sat the diaper bag down then went looking for the flight attendant that helped him get it down earlier. To keep myself from getting bored, I grabbed one of the comics I had brought with me to read and had stored into the pocket of the seat in front of me for the time being so I wouldn't have to constantly ask to get my own bag down. I also had a book in there as well but I really didn't want to get involved into a complicated story right now as I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Joey and a comic was just a distraction for the time while he was gone.
I hadn't even gotten two pages into my comic when Joey reappeared with a guy dressed in the airline uniform. I guess he and Joey had done all the talking before reaching their destination because the guy didn't say a word as he picked up the bag and opened the overhead bin above our seat and put the bag back in it. Then again, without a word, he left us to go back to whatever he was doing when I guess Joey had interrupted him.
I am not sure how long we sat there and talked and even read through some of my comics, at some point Mr. and Mrs. Brady woke back up and asked us what we had been up to. We had been ready for such a possible question as this was a common question from parents and other adults. We gave them the normal 'nothing much, just goofing off and talking and reading' speech. Luckily they bought it and didn't quiz us any further and when we were both asked if we needed changed we said we were okay. I am not sure if they really bought it or not but they didn't for now ask any further questions and I was glad. I had peed in my diaper a little since I had gotten the new one put on and I still needed to poop but I wasn't really wanting to do that on a plane full of people in a diaper and I really didn't want to sit on one of those sucking toilets either. For now I was going to do my best to just hold it until I got to England.
"So Matty, now that you had a few hours to adjust to flying, how do you feel about it now?" Joey's dad asked.
I thought about this for a moment as Joey and his parents looked at me, expecting a certain answer. I knew the answer that they wanted me to give them but I just wasn't sure about it. How do you give such an answer to people that expect all your bad feelings to disappear in just a few hours' time. Yes I sorta did feel better now and a little more relaxed but that was more because of Joey and him keeping my mind off of the airplane even when he didn't even know he was doing it. The truth is, I wouldn't truly feel safe until my feet were back on solid ground.
Not wanting to worry or hurt the Bradys, I decide it was best to at least tell part of the truth and hide the other negative and bad thoughts I had. This way I could be truthful in part and at the same time not worry them.
"Yes Mr. and Mrs. Brady oh...um I mean Dennis and Ellen; I definitely feel better now than I did when I first woke up this morning about this trip. I really was scared about flying all by myself and I am glad that I met you all, especially Joey. You have gone out of your way to include me into your family even though we just met. In fact Dennis, you have been better to me than my own dad has in a very long time! I can feel the love that the both of you have for Joey and in a way, I feel as if you shared that love with me too in the short time we have known each other. I just want you to know how much you have helped me and how you have made me feel so welcomed and a part of this family." I sighed as if a huge weight had been lifted off of me as I finish explaining what I could tell them without letting them know deep down what I was still feeling.
I must have really touched both Mr. and Mrs. Brady's hearts with how mushy I got because they were acting weird and emotional toward me as if I was their own child. They both got out of their seat just to lean over mine and give me a big hug. It was while Mrs. Brady hugged me that I noticed that she had tears in her eyes. This kind of confused me as she seemed happy but sad at the same time. To be honest, I had seen my own Mom do this exact same thing but never really understood her answer. I mean, why would someone cry if they are happy? For a person who has done a lot of crying in his life, I can never remember doing so because I was happy.
Reaching up and using a finger to wipe away a tear from her face, I asked her, "Mrs. Brady..." I started before I was interrupted.
"Matty, please, remember it is Ellen and you don't have to be formal with us as we consider you a dear friend." Joey's mom once again reminded me about the calling her by her first name.
I started again but his time I made sure to use Mrs. Brady's First name. "I am sorry Ellen; I keep forgetting because I am not used to calling adults by their first name as I was taught it was disrespectful." I explained before continuing on to what I was going to ask in the first place. "I was wondering why you were crying Ellen? I didn't mean to upset you if I did." I explained and hoped she would be clearer in the explanation if it was the same reason that my mom had always given.
Ellen just softly ran her hand down my cheek, which tickled a little, until she had reached my chin and using her palm, lifted it slightly. Now that I was looking straight into her shinning blue eyes that told me where her son got them from, I could honestly say that other than her tears, there was no sign of sadness anywhere shown on her face. Again, all this did was confuse my 13-year-old mind further. Don't get me wrong, I knew that it was obviously possible for people to cry when happy. I have seen enough sappy movies where the characters in them cry because they are happy. I have also witnessed my mom and a few girls do it over my short life. I am not questioning whether it happens or not, I just want to understand why it happens? To me it just didn't make any sense at all and that was one of the reasons that made girls even more complicated for me to understand and for me to not want anything to do with them in a sexual manner. Dealing with my mom was just exhausting enough; I didn't need any other mushy girl stuff in my life to add to it.
"Sweetie, you did nothing wrong at all. I want you to know right now that both Dennis and I could tell almost instinctively that you were a good kid almost as soon as we saw you. When we found out that you were traveling all alone to England and not with your mother, if she hadn't asked us to, we surely would have asked to take you under our wing while on the plane. Besides, you have kept our little trouble maker out of trouble..." She was smiling as she said this and was about to go on but was interrupted by Joey.
My new diapered friend just screwed up his face and whined out, "Moooooommmm! Why do you have to say things like that about me all the time? I am not a trouble maker, or a little monster, or any of the other bazillion stupid things you like to call me." Even though I could see he was pouting about it, I could also tell that this seemed like a little game as his mom smiled at him and proceeded to tap his nose, then lightly tickling it. "Mom that tickles, no fair, you know how ticklish my nose is!" Joey giggled and tried to bat away her finger which then moved down under his arm and had him giggling even more.
I couldn't help giggling as I watched Joey squirm in the seat next to me. It was such a funny display watching my friend get tickle tortured that I wasn't paying attention to Ellen's other hand which started to attack me suddenly. Soon, I too was wiggling around just as much as Joey, begging for her to stop. This just caused her to continue, even when I told her I had to pee, she reminded me that I had a diaper on and didn't let me out of my tickle torture. I guess she either forgot that she had warn me about my diaper holding only so much pee earlier, or she figured I hadn't peed since then. I tried my best to hold it but the tickle torture continued and soon I felt my bladder give out and begin to let go. At first a few small squirts were released, followed by a couple larger ones. I hoped that with a little bladder relief I would regain control but suddenly the floodgates opened and my urine flowed from me without my ability to stop it at all as it flowed into my already sodden diaper. I really wasn't sure how much urine the diaper now contained as I had been letting it out as soon as I felt any in my bladder in small amounts but hadn't done so in a while. For all I knew, it could now be as soaked as it was when Joey changed it for me. I blame all that free pop they kept giving us!
Whether it was because Ellen sensed that I had wet myself with some super power only moms seem to have or if she just figured we had enough, she finally stopped tickling us. I was glad as I was wheezing pretty badly due to all the laughing and barely any breathing.
As I sat there slumped in my seat, trying my best to take one ragged breath after another, I looked over at Joey and noticed in all of his torture that he had almost lost his shorts as they had slid half-way down his thighs. He was also having a hard time breathing and wheezing quite a lot. I am not sure how long it was before we got our breath back. It was Joey though who made me realize something that didn't even occur to me until he mentioned it.
"Mooommm! Everyone was staring at us when you were tickling us and I think some of them were not happy either!" Joey declared then realized his shorts had pulled down so low that his diaper had been exposed. "Dang! Mom that wasn't fair, now everyone has seen my diaper and knows I'm just a big baby!" He hissed quietly enough so only we could hear, as he pulled his shorts back up and covered his obvious swollen diaper.
Ellen gave Joey a scowling look before noting, "It looks to me that you could use a diaper change. Joey, please come here so I can check." She asked her son and he obediently, without a word, got out of his seat and went back to stand in front of her. "Did you make a stinky too?" She asked her son who immediately turned bright red from her embarrassing question. "I asked you a question Joey, or do I have to check myself?" She asked her son who seemed paralyzed in shock and disbelief.
At that moment I felt really sorry for Joey as I knew he was embarrassed. I didn't know if this was normal for him or not but even if it was, I'm sure that no one still likes to be embarrassed in such a way and in front of strangers and a friend! I also did know how he felt about people treating him like a baby, now this may not be the case with his parents but I am sure he would rather they not do it in public. I do know how I would feel in Joey's situation and I can say that I would absolutely die if my mom were to ever do what Joey's mom is doing to him and if she tried to check the back of my diaper in front of everyone there on the plane in viewing distance, I couldn't be held responsible for my actions in a court of law!
Joey hung his head in shame and what he said next, I couldn't make out as he said it so quietly that I don't think even Ellen barely heard it. She must have though because she then got up and took her son by hand and grabbed the diaper bag from the compartment over us.
Ellen than looked at me and for a moment I thought she was going to ask if I pooped in my diaper as well, instead she just waved her hand at me and quietly said, "Matty, I am sure that you could use a change by now as well."
I nervously got up as I really wasn't sure if my diaper was even as wet as it was when she had first checked it earlier. If she changed my diaper and it turned out that it wasn't as wet, I wasn't sure what I was going to tell her. I knew that there would be no way to explain how it magically got drier and that meant Joey and I would have to come clean that we changed each other earlier while they were asleep and hope that Ellen and Dennis would be okay with this.
As I got out of my seat and joined both Ellen and Joey in the aisle, it suddenly became clear to me that this would be the first time Ellen would see me naked. Now the thought of a woman I barely knew seeing me naked was not something I really felt comfortable with. I wasn't all that comfortable with Dennis seeing me nude and he was at least a guy. I didn't have much of a choice then as I had made a mess out of myself and then the idea of wearing a diaper overpowered every other negative thought I did have.
At first I thought that maybe Ellen would take us back to the area where Joey and I changed each other as it seemed to be the most private and had the most open room, even if it was still actually open up to the actual airplane. Instead of heading towards the back though, she started towards the front of the plane. Now this didn't make sense to me as there were more passengers there and from our explorations, nowhere to really change a diaper. Both Joey and I kept following her all the way into the first class section and it was here that we soon learned why. As she opened the door, she asked me to wait outside as she took my new little diapered friend in with her. As the door was opened, I was able to get a good glance of the bathroom and quickly found out that while still small, it was quite larger than the other bathroom we had checked out earlier in the flight. I also noticed that this bathroom had an actual heavy duty changing table in it, one that pulls out of the wall above the small sink and allows babies and even older kids to be changed on it. I could also see why Ellen asked me to stay outside as there was barely enough room for her after she pulled the table out and placed Joey on it. Due to this reason, I was unable to see my adorable diaper boy get changed out of his diaper due to his mom shutting the door as soon as she got Joey on the changing table.
While I waited for Joey and his mom, I decided to try and check out the condition of my own diaper right then. I noticed that most of the first class passengers had curtains pulled around their seat which was kind of nice I guess, that is if you wanted privacy. The rest of the first class passengers were not really paying attention to what I was doing, so I figured I could quickly check my diaper out without anyone noticing. I knew the front was pretty wet so I was more concerned as to how far the wetness had gone back to. Sticking my hand down the back of my diaper, I had to go almost to the back of my crotch area before I found any wetness at all. Not sure if I had peed too much in the front like Joey had warned me about, I then pulled my hand out of the back and stuck it in the front. I could definitely tell that I had been wetting the diaper as the front of it was soaked and as I used my other hand; I even noticed how bulky the diaper had gotten from all my pee. I wasn't sure, but I may been able to go for a while longer without a change as the diaper really hadn't been totally used, then again, would it leak since I had peed so much in the front of it already? I had hoped that taking Joey's advice would have made sure that my pee would have spread out more and used more of the back of the diaper but it looks like that isn't the case. Did I not do something else that I should have done as well? I just wasn't sure on this one as I thought about this.
It took a little longer for Joey's diaper change so I figured he must have really messed it bad. The longer it took the more time I had to think about the idea of being changed in that small bathroom, so close to that vacuum sucking toilet. Yes the bathroom was bigger than the one we looked at earlier, but not by that much. Once I was in there with Ellen, there wasn't going to be much room in that small airplane bathroom. I really wasn't sure I really wanted to go in there right now and unless we could do it elsewhere, I was hoping that she would agree that my diaper would be okay until we landed. Maybe I could just tell whoever comes to collect me if they could let me use the toilet first and while in there I can remove the diaper and not only use the bathroom but also clean myself up enough that Dad will hopefully not be able to smell me.
As this last thought was going through my young brain, the bathroom door opened and Ellen came out followed by Joey, who I assumed was now in a fresh clean diaper. Ellen looked over at me and smiled as if it was her way to let me know that I was next. Even if I could have moved at that moment, I am not sure if I would have, as it was, my body seemed to have been frozen in place and not under my control.
"Come on Matty, we need to get you changed. We can't hold up this bathroom the whole rest of the flight." Ellen kindly prodded me.
"Ummm... are you sure I need changed? Maybe I will be okay until we land." I whispered, finally able to find my voice even if it was just a whisper.
Ellen must have heard me because she didn't ask me to repeat myself which I was glad that I didn't have to, she did give me a weird look before coming over to me and replying, "Well, let's see..." before I could stop her or say anything about it, she had pulled back not only the front of my shorts but my diaper as well and stuck her hand in it like she had earlier. "They are very wet sweetie and I doubt they will hold much more in them." She declared and I was about to tell her about the back of my diaper being dry when suddenly the plane was shaken violently.
The next thing that was said put all thoughts of diaper changes out of my mind and made me once again terrified as I heard someone make an announcement over the plane intercom system, "Will everyone please return to their seats and as a safety precaution the captain has turned on the seatbelt sign, so please everyone, buckle your selves in. We have ran into some bad turbulence and it is about to get really bumpy." As this announcement ended, the plane was again rocked hard and I suddenly threw myself into Ellen's body and clutched her in fear.
"Well, you heard what they said boys, we will have to take care of your diaper after we clear the turbulence, for now it is back to our seats." She commanded in a motherly tone and like we did on our way to the bathroom, Joey and I followed her back.
This time I stayed close on her heels though as the rocking of the plane was new to me and was quite terrifying! I couldn't understand how Joey and his mom could be so calm about it. She led us quickly to our seat and stood over us until we had our seat belts on. With us now secure she took her seat next to Dennis who I could hear whispering to her and other than a few words here and there, was not able to hear what they were really talking about.
I didn't notice how hard I was gripping my arm rest until I felt Joey's soft hand on my own as he tried to calm me, "Don't worry Matty, this is very normal for planes to experience. It usually doesn't last long from my experience. The couple times it has, my mom always assured me that I had nothing to fear. I know how it feels because at first, I was scared too. After a while though, I got used to it since me and my mom and dad fly a lot. I may look brave here to you but there are other things that scare me more than anything. I am afraid of all spiders, well not all because Daddy long legs spiders for some reason don't frighten me but every other spider does! You will never be able to talk me into riding any roller coaster. They scare the crap out of me! I am kinda glad that I am too short for most of them anyway, but I swear, still won't ride them even if I were to grow 10 feet tall!" Joey explained to me and I understood how he felt though I myself would ride every coaster they would let me on.
I tried to calm my breathing as I forced my brain to accept his words. I felt I needed to prove that I wasn't a baby and indeed a teenager as I made a mental effort to relax the muscles in my left hand so I could clasp his own and at least draw on some of this 11-year-old's strength. Glancing down at our hands entwined brought a smile to my face and as I looked up, our eyes met, his dazzling crystal blue ones and my plain old hazel eyes.
"Sorry you were not able to get changed. Mom had a hard time getting me cleaned up because there wasn't really a lot of room for her to move in there. I also made a pretty big mess due to sitting on it and squashing it all over my bottom and it even got on my boy marbles." Joey told me all of this in a quiet voice but lowered his voice even quieter for the last part and ended it with a giggle.
For some reason, I am not sure if it was due to my stress and fear or if it was just the fact of having this cute diaper boy in my life, I found his giggles contagious as I too began to giggle. As we giggled, the plane continued to jolt and rock but I found myself not thinking so much about the turbulence. Now I wasn't an idiot, I watched many films that had planes that had experienced turbulence in them and like Joey stated, nothing happened. Then again there were other films I watched that blamed turbulence and it turned out to be something entirely different. Still, this wasn't a movie but real life and in real life, turbulence happened a lot. At least that was what Joey said and I chose to believe him as I had no reason not to.
"It is okay; I really didn't want to be changed anyway." I told him, feeling a little ashamed of myself for feeling chicken over the plane sucking toilet.
"Sounds like you needed to be changed. I hope you don't end up leaking because of me now." It was Joey's turn to look ashamed as he said this.
I didn't reply, instead my eyes felt drawn to the window. I had left the shade open and as I looked out, I didn't see any evidence of what could be causing the turbulence. The sky was clear with clouds below, the only evidence was the shaking and bumps that the plane was making. As I continued looking out the window, I could see the large plane wing and the one very large engine that was attached to it. Now you have to understand, from the moment we were told to please go back to our seats to this moment now, only a couple minutes had gone by and I was about to, what I assumed, learn the real reason the plane was jerking around like it was. The next few seconds would almost seem like hours to me.
As I looked out that window, not only was the plane rocked by what sounded like a powerful explosion, but I also had watched in horrifying detail as that large engine completely blew up, sending shrapnel into the cabin along with part of the wing. I couldn't pull my eyes away from that window no matter how much I wanted to as I felt the full contents of what was in my bladder give away at once. I didn't even notice that the diaper had indeed leaked as I had been warned and I now had a big wet spot in the front and seat of my shorts. No I was paying more attention to the fact that the plane seemed to now be missing a wing on our side and I was pretty sure that was a very bad thing.
I wasn't sure where the wing went to and my panicked mind suddenly hoped that the pilots had a solution for this, as I once again clasped my arm rest, it was then that I realized that Joey's hand was no longer in my own and finally made me turn and look towards him. At some point the oxygen mask had dropped and for the moment I ignored it and just kept my attention on the small frightened boy next to me.
His face was ash white and as I opened my mind back to regular time again, my ears were assaulted by the noise around me. Trying to block out all those other people I looked directly at my new friend, the cute little diaper boy, Joey. I wanted to tell him what I had seen but when I tried my voice just wouldn't work.
"Matty, what happened?" He begged me to tell him but I was too much in shock as I just looked at him then glanced back at his parents who looked very worried too.
I wasn't sure if they saw what happened or if they were just trying to keep us calm up to the end, as Ellen just said, "Boys, quickly put on your oxygen mask, try to breathe calm and normal. I promise that everything will be okay." She commanded and to make sure it was done she did it herself, placing one over each of us before putting her own on.
At this point my mind slipped back into its slowing down time, as I felt the plane suddenly seem to drop out of the sky and nose dive as if it was beginning to plow straight down to the ocean below. I wasn't dumb, I knew that a fall from this far up and hitting the water would be like hitting concrete and would kill us instantly. What I didn't know until a few seconds later was, due to the height we were and the speed we were falling, we wouldn't have to worry about hitting the water! As we began to fall, I could hear the plane start to tear and rip itself apart in slow motion. I then remembered an incident that occurred in real airplane disaster where the airplane like the one we were on now, never made it in one piece to the ocean. I knew at that moment I would never have to worry about hitting the water. The plane would have torn itself apart long before it ever got that far and if it could be torn apart like it was, than maybe I could be as well.
I am not sure where, or how the fire started, all I know was that the first thing I could see was the smoke and in slow motion. I also saw all the people around us as they started to panic even more. Those who were not seated and buckled in were sent flying, as the others watched in total fear. I don't think anyone believed in the possibility of survival at that moment and I was one of them. My bad luck promised me this!
I watched as an oncoming fireball started to grow and expand slowly in my slowed perception of time, consuming the plane. I knew that all these people were going to die and that it was all my fault. If I had never gotten on this plane it would have arrived at its destination just fine. Everyone here was going to die, all because of my bad rotten luck on one of the unluckiest days of all... Friday the Thirteenth!
I am not sure how they did it, somehow Ellen and Dennis Brady beat the odds and were able to use their strength and each other to make their way without going flying, down to us and then managed to use their own bodies to wedge themselves between us and the seats in front of us. This allowed them to hug us and soon we were all hugging each other in one big embrace. I was just so lost in my own thoughts that I could not keep my mind on them or just what was happening right in front of me.
As the fire got closer, I could feel the heat of it start to actually burn my skin and even though it hurt badly, I still could not pry myself back into normal time. I am not sure if it was the heat or if it was just her tiring out trying to keep herself in place as the plane continued to fall, but when Joey's mom was ripped out of our arms and then pulled out of a hole that ripped open on the other side of the plane, I swear I could hear Joey's scream even in the state I was in. I also felt the flood of tears flow from my eyes as the loss of the first person I knew happened right in front of me. I couldn't tell by looking at Dennis what he was feeling at that moment, all I could feel was him hold us even tighter as if he thought he could protect us from the same fate.
It was Dennis who was next to die though, as the floor suddenly opened up under him and he was there one moment and gone the next. I looked over to an even more terrified Joey just as the ball of fire approached and swallowed him in an instant. I knew that in a second I would be next as the fire made its way. It was this moment that my bowels that had been holding until we landed, released inside of my diaper and I didn't even have a chance to enjoy it as the flames engulfed me and started to burn away layer after layer of my body. The last few split seconds as I burned alive, I started to scream and kept on screaming! Even though somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind I could still hear myself scream as the plane blew to bits. I knew that it was an echo of my old life; still my mind tried to fight, but in the end lost, as everything finally went black.