Date: Sun, 2 Oct 2022 21:19:47 +0000 (UTC)
From: Samuel Stefanik <churchphilips@yahoo.com>
Subject: From Whence I Came.  Chapter 13

HELLO!  Welcome to lucky chapter 13.  This chapter contains a song
reference.  If you like classic rock or folk music, I highly recommend you
listen to Delaney and Bonnie and their version of 'Only You Know and I
Know' at the appropriate point in the story.  You don't have to, but you
can if you want.  I hope you enjoy the chapter!  Drop me a line if you
want.  I'd be happy to hear from you.

If you're younger than 18 or find these kinds of stories offensive, please
close up now and have a great day!  If you are of legal age and are
interested, by all means keep going.  I'll be glad to have you along for
the journey.  Please donate to Nifty.  This is a great resource for great
stories and a useful outlet to authors like me and readers like you.



Crown Vic to a Parallel World: From Whence I Came
The second installment of the ongoing adventures of Church Philips

13

Only You Know and I Know

Dinner was delicious but strained.  Andy and Shawn had made a huge tray of
macaroni and cheese with stewed tomatoes and mixed vegetables on the side.
We ate in near silence.  I felt like I was at a funeral luncheon.

I spent half the meal staring at my nieces.  Hannah and Leah were toddlers
when I saw them last, and I never paid them much attention.  The old Church
didn't have much time for my holier-than-thou sister, her squeaky douchebag
husband, or her drool covered kids.  Now that the twins were old enough to
have recognizable features and the beginnings of a personality, I found
them vaguely interesting.  The more I studied them, the more they bothered
me.  Something about them, that I couldn't put my finger on, didn't sit
well with me.

The girls were well-behaved enough for children in their single-digit
years.  They didn't play with their food or squeal like typical little
girls.  They seemed very much absorbed in eating and in each other.  I
assumed their lack of `she's touching me, she's touching me' banter had to
do with their being twins.

I watched them and watched them until I finally realized what was bothering
me.  Their appearance didn't make sense.  They both had most of Mary's fine
features and petite build, but instead of Mary's light skin and brown hair,
or Zeke's light skin and blond hair, the girls had an olive cast to their
skin and black hair so curly, it fell in tight, natural ringlets all over
their heads.

If they had been anyone else's kids, I would have assumed a mailman was
involved, but this was Mary I was thinking about.  The idea of her having
an impropriety, especially one that resulted in her twins, just wasn't
possible.  I chalked the kids' coloring up to a recessive gene and directed
my attention elsewhere.  When we finished eating, Andy and the twins went
in the living room to watch a movie while the adults cleaned up and
returned to the dining room to sit in silence.

I sat with my left elbow on the table and my fist under my chin.  My right
hand fidgeted with my bracelet.  Joe watched me play with the golden band.
It seemed to stir something in his head.  He interrupted the vigil with a
question.  "Church, Shawn, we missed your wedding reception.  Would you
tell us about it?"

I wasn't sure that Joe had picked the right topic.  Mary's marriage was
disintegrating rapidly, and Joe had asked Shawn and me about the beginning
of our wedded bliss.  Shawn started the story while I was still debating.
"It was eighteen months after the first mission, the one to the Demon's
Citadel, the one that brought us together.  Church was fully recovered; he
had been for a while.  He looked incredible."

Shawn looked at me with admiration and a tingle of lust.  I enjoyed the
feeling of being admired.  Shawn kept his eyes on me as he told his story.
"We were taking pictures in the back garden of the ceremonial hall.
He...Church was talking to the photographer a little way away from me.  I'd
been admiring the flowers when the photographer's voice changed like he was
giving instructions.  I looked up to make sure I didn't miss anything."

Shawn held his left hand out to me across the table, the golden band on his
wrist made a hollow sound against the vinyl tablecloth.  I took his hand
with mine, both bands glinted in the overhead light.  He met my eyes with
his and told the story like he was talking directly to me.

"That's when I saw him standing in the late-afternoon sun.  That big,
attractive man, with his long brown hair shining.  He shifted the way he
was standing and the muscles in his broad back flexed under the thin linen
of his lavender suit.  He turned to face me.  He realized he was being
appraised and smiled that self-conscious little smile he has for those
moments.  He fidgeted with the gold bracelet I had just sealed to his wrist
and looked me right in the eye.  I knew he was all mine; his body, mind,
and spirit and all the pleasure, compassion, and love that went with them.
He was all mine, and he was everything I wanted.  In that moment, I was
complete."

Shawn got a little lost in thought and trailed off.  I squeezed his hand to
bring him back to the present.  "Ahem...uh...anyway," he continued, "after
the ceremony and the photos we went into a different part of the hall for
the reception.  It was a more intimate room with mirrored walls, a big
dance floor, table seating around the perimeter, and a big bar at the back.
Divided Light, or a fraction of it, was set up on a small stage at the
front of the dance floor.  We waited for all the guests to find their spots
before we went in.  It was to be our first dance as an official couple, and
we wanted it to be special."

Shawn took his eyes from mine to check on his audience as he told the
story.  "Church and I took dancing lessons the year before.  It was for his
therapy, but it was fun to.  I knew how to dance before, but I never had
any formal lessons.  We had it all timed out and practiced.  The band
started and we entered on the opening line of the song we picked out."

I had a silly idea and stopped Shawn's story with a squeeze of his hand.
"You want to show them?"

"What about the music?"

I borrowed Joe's phone and stuck it in a phone dock with speakers that I
had seen in the sunroom.  When I had the tune cued up, I called Shawn in.
We stayed out of sight from the dining room through the opening riff of the
detuned acoustic guitar and danced into view in time to the first lyric.

Delaney Bramlett sang `Only you know and I know' as we glided across the
hardwood floor framed by the oversized arch between the dining and
sunrooms.  The dance was a sort of exaggerated waltz, stylized and sped up.
We sang along, like we had that night.  Shawn sang Delaney's part, and I
sang Bonnie's in ask and answer fashion.  We held each other close and the
last four years seemed to disappear.

We moved together like we had on that night, the first night we officially
belonged to each other.  Shawn sang Delaney's words of pleading to not
overthink something as simple as love.  I looked into the frozen blue of
his eyes and sang back with Bonnie's self-deprecating lyrics about the mad
worry of being in love.  We dueted the reassurance that everything would
work out, as long as we were together, and as long as we didn't let the
past and our own insecurities get in the way.

The song was perfect for us.  It said everything we wanted to say about
what we meant to each other, and it spoke to the importance of
communication and trust.  I loved Shawn and felt his love as I danced with
him and sang to him.  He felt perfect in my arms as he moved with me, as he
loved me back.  Holding him was like holding my reason for being.  With
him, anything was possible, without him, there was nothing.

When the music ended, and the dance was over, we stopped moving but didn't
separate.  Our eyes stayed locked and, to me, nothing in the room, nothing
in the whole world existed but Shawn.  I leaned him back, holding him tight
to my body and supporting his head in the palm of my right hand, my fingers
nested in his thick, black hair.  I tilted my head and kissed him deeply,
with my eyes open, like I had then.  He seemed to melt in my arms as he
kissed back.

A sharp whistle from Bem shattered the moment and brought us out of the
dream.  I stood, pulling Shawn up with me, and we parted, both more than a
little embarrassed at getting carried away.  Our unintended audience at the
dining room table seemed to be embarrassed with us.  Awkward silence
stretched out until Bem came to the rescue.  He whistled and clapped.
Beyond the table, I saw Andy crane his head to look from the living room.
He gave me a covert thumbs-up and a smile.  Mary sat with her chin in her
hand and looked forlorn.  Joe's expression and posture remained unchanged.

Shawn and I took an awkward little bow.  I got Joe's phone from the speaker
dock and returned it to him as we sat at the table.  "After that," Shawn
resumed the story like our dance hadn't happened, "it was like most other
receptions.  Our friends congratulated us, my Uncle Ars made a long speech
with no point, everyone ate and drank."

Shawn paused his story long enough to offer his hand to me across the table
again.  I took and held it.  His thumb made little circles around the tops
of the knuckles it could reach. "About half-way through the party, Church
took me to the vestibule of the building, away from the crowd.  He was
super excited, but he wouldn't say why.  I kept asking him what he wanted,
but all he would tell me was one of the gifts had arrived late and he
needed help with it."

"We waited in the little entryway and watched the parking lot.  Headlights
swung off the road and a car moved down the driveway, through the lot, and
up to the entrance.  Church hustled me outside and up to the car.  He
opened the back door, and helped my mother get out."  Shawn paused again to
explain why it was surprising for his mother to be at his wedding.  "I
don't get along with my father.  He always mistreated my mother and me.
She wouldn't leave him, and it broke my heart when I moved out and left her
there to face him alone.  When she got out of that car...that was one of
the biggest shocks of my life."

"She hugged me and kissed my forehead.  `I left him.'  She announced.
`Church invited me to the wedding.  I didn't know what to do.  I thought
about it until today.  When I brought it up to your father, he made a joke
of it.  That was what I needed.  I packed a bag and left him.  I'm sorry
I'm late.'"

"I was beside myself.  After I hugged her again, Church told us both what
he'd arranged in the few hours he'd had between when my mother called to
tell him she was coming and when we left for the ceremonial hall.  Neb had
moved out of our building recently.  She went to live with her then
boyfriend, and now husband, Calidi.  That left the third-floor apartment
empty.  My mother was moving into it.  Church coordinated with our
caretaker, Met, and already had a complete apartment update scheduled and
an appointment for my mother to select the colors she wanted and all new
furniture.  In the meantime, he'd rented a suite for her at a nearby hotel.
That was the first time she'd ever taken a stand for herself or for me.  It
was the nicest present I ever received."

Shawn started to tear up at the memory and struggled to continue speaking.
I finished the story.  "We spent the rest of the night dancing and catching
up with people we don't see often enough.  We finally got to meet Cy's wife
and kids.  He was so proud of them.  His brother Vulp shocked everyone by
giving us a toast with more innuendo leering around the edges than I
thought was possible for anyone but Bem.  Shawn's Uncle Ars got
ridiculously drunk, stretched out on a buffet table, and went to sleep."

"At the end, we left to the loud cheers of our friends.  Bem and Vulp had
rigged-up a fireworks display that was to go off as our car went down the
driveway.  Something went wrong, at least that's what he claims."  I spared
a look of disbelief in Bem's direction.  He met it with one of complete
innocence.  "It was more like a gauntlet of bombs than a shimmering curtain
of color.  We laughed later, but it was terrifying at the time."

"We pushed our honeymoon plans back for a month so we could get Shawn's
mother settled, and so they could reconnect.  When the month was up, we
left for what we thought would be a year-long tour of Solum.
Unfortunately, everywhere we go, Shawn's uncle sends us on missions.  We've
been on tour for four years and still haven't seen everything we planned to
in the first twelve months.  We're stopping it though.  When we get back,
I'm growing roots like a tree."

"It will be so nice to be home for a while."  Shawn agreed quietly.

I glanced around the table for reactions.  Mary was still doing her best
`Thinker' impression and Joe's expression was unreadable.  He spoke first.
"That was a very nice story, guys, but I have a question."

`Of course, you do.' I thought.

"How is it that your wedding song, on another world, was a Delaney and
Bonnie cover of a Dave Mason tune from nineteen seventy?"

I laughed, mainly at the fact that Joe had managed to seize on the one part
of the story that was the least incredible.  Something about Joe's question
struck me and I had to ask my own before I answered his. "How do you know
Delaney and Bonnie?  They don't get much radio play.  Come to think of it,
how do you know that song is a Dave Mason song?  I don't ever remember you
caring much for rock music.  I thought you were a jazz only guy."

"Ask your nephew." Joe replied. "He's the music expert around here.  Now,
what about my question?"

I filed Joe's statement about Andy into the back of my mind and set about
answering Joe's original question.  "Funny story there.  When I was in the
hospital right after the first mission, I told a bold lie to get my doctor
interested in my team-mate and friend Neb.  They were both musically
inclined and decided to be a couple and a band.  I was their resource for
unique music.  I wrote down all the lyrics I could remember from the songs
I knew by heart and offered them all the CDs I had in my car.  The band
they formed, Divided Light, has been touring almost continuously ever
since.  They're completely dominating the Solum music scene.  All they play
is stolen classic rock and Motown soul."

Joe rubbed his neck. "The more I hear, the stranger it gets." He muttered,
then raised his voice to address the group. "Alright," he clapped his
hands, "back to reality.  Sleeping arrangements need to be figured out."

I offered to give up the master bedroom and camp with Shawn and Bem in the
living room.  Mary raised an objection because my offer didn't fit what she
thought she knew about the sleeping arrangements at the house.  "I thought
Bem was using my room." She said as she recalled the offer Joe had made in
her presence two days before.

"They're all in the Master." Joe explained.

Mary directed her confusion at me.  "How did you fit a cot in there with
Joe's king bed and all that big furniture?"

"We didn't." I explained without explaining anything.

"Then, where are the three of you sleeping?" Mary pressed.

Joe waved his hands like he was flagging a passing truck.  "Mary, just skip
it.  Your room is available to you and the girls can use the sofa bed in
the family room.  Does that work?"

Mary wanted to say something, but she deferred to Joe and let it lay.  I
was glad.  I wasn't in the mood to defend my lifestyle again.  Everyone
left the table and went to their assigned sleeping spot without additional
discussion or incident.

When we got behind closed doors, it became clear that Bem was feeling
better.  As soon as I laid down, he pounced on me and licked the side of my
face with the flat of his tongue.  Luckily, Shawn was in the bathroom, so
we didn't have to see his professional scowl.  I pushed Bem off me and sat
on the edge of the bed.  "Bem, I can't, and you know it.  You have to be
completely cleared by the doctor before we get up to anything."

"I know," Bem whined as he moved to sit next to me, "but I feel fine, and I
miss you."

I objected to how `fine' he was.  "This is only the first day you could
even stay awake all day.  I'm not the doctor, but I don't think you're up
to it either."  I had my hands in my lap.  The hands wouldn't stay still.
They played with my bracelet.  It was another situation where I wished I
could play with my watch, but I couldn't because I'd left it in the pocket
of the pants I'd taken off.

"You're just mean."  Bem verbally pouted like a child being told not to
spoil his appetite in the candy store.

I turned to look in his pouting face so I could give him some grief for
testing my resolve.  "If you think for one second that this has been easy
for me, you're wrong."  I complained.  "Sleeping pressed to your lithe body
every night is filling my head with all the ways it could be used for our
mutual enjoyment, but I'm not risking being cut off from Shawn for
anything.  You talk to him.  If he says it's OK, I'll wear you out."

Bem leered at me and rubbed my thigh with his busy hands.  "Ooohhh...you
think you can?"

"I'll do it or die trying.  What a way to go!"  I teased.

Bem went serious on me.  "Ugh.  You guys are killing me.  Sleeping between
the two of you has been the nicest and most frustrating experience of my
life.  I noticed you started wearing a shirt to bed.  Thanks.  If your bare
skin was against me all night, I would've gotten us in a lot of trouble."

Bem leered again, then he slid off the bed to stand in front of me while he
talked.  "You know, you and Shawn have been really good to me.  When Neb
and Calidi said I needed to go home, I fought them.  The closer I got to
your apartment, though, the more I knew they were right.  I missed you guys
and needed some quiet time.  When I struggled up to your door, I knew that
all I had to do was knock, and the door would open, and you would take care
of me."

I pulled Bem into a hug and held him against me.  His ribs still felt like
piano keys under my hands, but less so than before.  "The door will always
be open to you.  You could've called and we would have come running.
Anywhere you are, any trouble you're ever in, you can count on us to help."

"Thanks, Church, it's nice to hear you say it."  Bem crawled into my lap
and straddled my legs so he could press his body to mine.

"How did you even know we'd be home?" I asked. "You might've knocked at an
empty apartment if Ars hadn't called us for this mission."

Bem pulled back from our hug, just enough to look in my face.  "I didn't
plan on asking for help when I left.  I was too angry to think straight.  I
called Met to let him know I was coming so he'd have my place ready.  He
told me you guys would be there.  The closer I got, the worse I felt.  I
knocked on your door because I was lonely and sad and sick.  I don't think
I could've spent that night alone."

The bathroom door opened, and Shawn came out.  He saw Bem and me in our
affectionate position and glared at us.  "What's going on here?  There
better not be anything strenuous happening."

I lifted Bem out of my lap and turned him to face Shawn.  I put on my best
innocent face.  One that I knew Shawn wouldn't believe, and I made my
excuses.  "Bem was explaining the art of making sure everyone leaves the
orgy satisfied.  It's complicated and he was about to draw some diagrams."

Shawn shook his head at us.  He felt defeated, but he wasn't upset about
it.  "Fine, I get the message.  Just once, ONCE!" He held a stern index
finger in the air. "And it has to be calm and quiet.  I don't want Bem
having a relapse and I don't want Joe to throw us out for having a loud
romp while his son is trying to sleep in the other room."

I remembered that the room was soundproof and almost said something about
it, but I realized that knowledge would make restraining Bem more
difficult.  I also didn't know exactly how sound proof the room might be.
I decided to err on the side of caution and not say anything.  I figured I
wouldn't worry if we got a little noisy, but I'd still try to keep things
quieter than normal.

Bem crossed the room and dropped to his knees in front of Shawn.  He kissed
Shawn's fingers one at a time.  In between kisses he chanted, "thank you
Doctor Shawn, thank you."  Shawn pulled his hand away and Bem wrapped his
arms around Shawn's legs.  "You won't regret it."  Bem whispered.  "I will
service you so quietly, you won't even know when you're finished."

Shawn tried to pry Bem away from him, but Bem's grasping hands were too
fast.  "Just stop it." Shawn demanded. "Stop it before I change my mind."

Bem jumped to his feet like he had been kneeling on a spring and saluted.
"Yes, sir.  Anything you say, sir.  I'm here to serve you, sir."

Shawn craned his head around so he could make eye contact with me.
"Church, help me."  He pleaded.

I used my magic to lift Bem off his feet and stood him in the middle of the
bed.  "Strip." I commanded.

Bem followed directions with enthusiasm and his few clothes flew off his
body like they were held on with Velcro.  My eyes feasted on Bem's furry,
sinewy leanness.  He looked good.  He was still thinner than I liked, but
he didn't seem sick anymore.  A lot of his color had come back.  His extra
leanness reminded me of the caution we were supposed to exercise.  "We are
not going to tire you out, so you have to let us do the work." I said.

"Anything you say.  You're such a beast!"  Bem covered his face like he was
afraid of me, and I had to bite my tongue to stifle a laugh.

I felt Shawn's lust kindle and take fire.  It didn't blaze, but it
smoldered as we both enjoyed the sight of Bem and our anticipation of the
pleasure to come.  Shawn started the proceedings with a question. "This is
about you, Bem.  What will you have?"

Bem scrunched up his face like he was thinking furiously.  He even
pretended to pound his fists on his skull to make his brain work harder.
He looked up and his face brightened like the light of inspiration had
shone into his mind. "Sex," Bem announced, "I want sex...please."

Shawn shook his head while I chuckled at the mild joke.  A big part of why
I loved having Bem around was his teasing.  He would go a long way to get a
rise out of someone, and he loved to play around.  I'd discovered that a
great deal of what he did was calculated, but a lot of it was Bem being
Bem.  That was the part that I enjoyed the most.

Beside my relationship with Shawn, my friendship with Bem was the brightest
thing in what I still thought of as my new life.  Since my friend had been
sick, and since I hadn't seen him in three months, and since this was his
first romp with us in a while, I wanted it to be special for him.  I wanted
to give Bem whatever he wanted.  I wanted to enjoy my friend and for him to
enjoy me and for both of us to enjoy Shawn.  I opened my mouth to reiterate
Shawn's question when Shawn beat me to it.

"Yes, I assumed that.  What...uh...acts do you want, either to perform on
us, or to have performed on your person?"

Bem rattled off a wish list that would have taken the three of us at least
a week to complete.  A couple of the items seemed physically impossible or
required props, toys, or rigging that we didn't have.  Shawn let Bem finish
and shook his head.  "How about we save all that for another time?  For
now, just let Church and me love you.  How does that sound?"

Bem's left hand crossed his body to knead his right shoulder and his right
hand tried to slip into the pocket of the pants that he wasn't wearing.  It
was Bem's thoughtful posture. "You guys really do, don't you?" Bem asked
and split a longing look between me and Shawn.

"What?" Shawn asked.

"You...you love me, don't you?  I mean, more than friends...you guys,
you'd...I mean, Church said that if I needed you...you'd come.  You really
would, wouldn't you?  I mean...no matter what...right?" Bem seemed somehow
small and vulnerable when he asked his stumbled and wandering question.
The confident military professional, the lewd jokester, the horny
adolescent, suddenly seemed a lost and lonely little boy.

My heart went out to him, Shawn and mine both.  As if inspired by the same
impulse, Shawn and I rushed to wrap ourselves around our friend.  We pulled
Bem into a hug and held him tight between us.  I kissed the side of his
face and Shawn kissed the other side.  "I love you, Bem." I whispered to
him.

"I love you to." Shawn told him from the other side.

I added, "and, if you needed us, nothing...NOTHING would keep us away from
you."

"Nothing." Shawn agreed.

Bem sucked a breath that seemed to rattle in his throat and blew it out in
a long sigh. "Thanks, guys.  I love you to." He paused a long beat before
adding, "would you fuck me now?  Shawn first."

I leaned away from Bem so I could see both him and Shawn at the same time
and objected. "Shawn first?  What's that about?  Why am I stuck with sloppy
seconds?"

Bem grinned at me with his leering, teasing grin. "You love sloppy seconds,
especially Shawn's."

I admitted that was true to the chuckling delight of both of my bedmates.
When they finished laughing at my expense, I asked for some clarity from
Bem. "Seriously though, I want this to be good for you, but I don't want to
tax your system.  So...I guess I could hold you down while Shawn fucks you,
or you could tell us what you want.  Thoughts?"

Bem looked at me for a long time before he spoke.  When he opened his
mouth, he seemed bashful about asking for what he wanted. "Big Guy...would
you...would you lay down, and let me lay on top of you, and hold me while
Shawn does his thing?  I...I really want to be held, but I want sex to.  Is
that OK?"

I didn't grasp what Bem wanted from me.  His words hadn't produced an image
in my mind, but I agreed to do whatever he wanted.  Shawn agreed along with
me and asked Bem to show us what to do.  Bem arranged me, laying face up on
the bed.  He climbed on top of me with his front to my front and laid down.
He asked me to wrap him in my arms, which I did.  Bem put his face in mine
and kissed me with a deep, lingering tongue.  "Hold me tight, Big Guy." Bem
breathed over my face.

I tightened my arms around my friend. "Tighter," Bem demanded, "squeeze me
like you want to pull me inside you."

I tightened my arms until Bem's breath grew labored, then loosened them
just enough so he could breathe easily.  Bem rested his lower jaw on my
left shoulder and spoke into my ear.  "This feels so good, Big Guy.  You're
so big and solid.  You really make a guy feel safe.  I like being here in
your arms...in your big, manly arms against your big, manly body.  I feel
like...I feel like I'd like to...I wish I could." Bem shook his head as
much as he could with his chin on my shoulder. "Never mind...it's too
weird."

Bem sounded like he wanted to talk about whatever the weird thing was, and
I wanted to let him.  "No judgement here, Bem." I encouraged my
friend. "You taught me that.  What would you like to do?  What's your
wish?"

Bem turned his head and laid it on the front of my shoulder.  Shawn came
around next to me and laid on his side facing Bem and me.  When he was
looking at Bem's face, Bem told us what he wanted. "I kinda wish that I
could give up myself and become a part of you guys.  Like...like Shawn
would climb on top of me like he was going to fuck me, and you, Big Guy,
you would use those big arms to squeeze the three of us together until
I...until I disappeared inside you both."

Bem stroked the side of my face with his hand and explained what he
meant. "Like you would pull so hard that I would be inside, and I wouldn't
have to be on my own anymore.  I wouldn't have to be me.  I could be part
of you two and I could live inside where it's peaceful and quiet, and I
wouldn't have to be out there anymore.  I wouldn't have to be out there
where it's loud."

I listened to Bem's wish and wondered what was bothering him.  I wondered
if it was part of his break-down or whatever it was that he'd been dealing
with or if there was something deeper going on.  I wanted to help him.  I
was willing to do almost anything to help him, but I didn't understand the
problem.  I tried to grasp what he'd said through the lens of what I'd
witnessed with him in the days passed. "Tell me about the noise." I asked
my friend. "Why do you want to be where it's quiet?"

Bem's voice drew down to a breathy whisper, like he didn't want the noise
to hear him talking about it.  "Noise...it's...people, they...when they
hurt, or when they're angry...you know, they yell.  It's...it's painful to
hear the sounds...the sounds of pain or worse.  People...everything, even
animals, they...they cry out for pain, or hate, or suffering...they cry out
in death.  People cry out in death.  I can't...the noise hurts me.  I don't
want to...anymore...don't you see?  That's why...one of the reasons
anyway."

Bem rubbed the hand that he'd used on my face over the flat of my right
pec.  He rubbed in a circle then rested his hand on my chest. "If I was
inside where it's warm and quiet, then it would be OK.  I imagine me inside
you both, as part of you, part of this...this amazing thing you guys have.
Then I wouldn't have to...I wouldn't have to do anything or deal with
anything ever again because you would take care of everything.  And...and
your love would be my love.  I think that would be perfect."

Shawn leaned into Bem and kissed him deeply in front of my face.  When he
finished, I kissed Shawn deeply, then I gave my mouth to Bem to complete
the triangle.  As I kissed my husband and my friend, my mind spun out the
possible meanings of Bem's secret wish.  I knew that what I had with Shawn
was special, but I never thought of myself or my relationship as a refuge
that anyone else would seek.  I especially never thought of myself as a
place to escape the world.  Usually, it was me seeking escape in Shawn.
The idea that Bem would want to give himself up to become part of us was
sweet despite its strangeness, but I still didn't quite understand.

I asked Bem a general question that I hoped would help to give me a handle
to grasp what Bem's situation was.  I kept the question very general so as
not to press him too hard for the details of his story. "Are you sad, Bem?"

"A little, yeah." He answered in a voice that rattled like he was trying
not to cry.

Shawn asked. "How can we help?"

Bem quieted while he considered Shawn's question, then his face changed
against my chest, and I knew he'd found his answer.  I could almost feel
the leer stretch his face. "Fuck my ass.  That will help."

With that leering, silly statement, Bem ended the moment we'd been having.
I felt like I'd gotten a peek at a side of my friend I didn't know existed,
and as quickly as flipping a light switch, Bem had shut off that look and
become his regular, teasing self.  I felt a little sad that the moment was
over, but it had seemed difficult for Bem to share as much as he had with
us.

I supposed that I would have to appreciate the fact that Bem trusted Shawn
and me enough to let us see that side of himself.  I supposed that I'd have
to hope that he'd trust us again in the future to let us see more.  I tried
to shift gears the way Bem had and embrace the new atmosphere that he was
trying to project.

He gave us some instructions. "Shawn, you fuck my ass while Church holds me
tight.  Fuck me and make me feel it.  When you finish, stay inside me and
lay on my body and let the Big Guy hold us both."  "What about me?" I
asked.

Bem raised his face to look in mine. "Then we'll switch, and Shawn can hold
me while you eat my ass and fuck me."

I didn't see a problem with any of that, except I wondered when Bem got
off.  I asked him. "After you fuck me, I'll let you eat me some more, then
I'll let you suck a load out of me.  If you do a good job, I'll let you
have two." Bem promised.

I looked at Shawn who'd been following Bem's fantasy and sex instructions
with a blend of curiosity and fascination. "Fine with me." Shawn said to
agree with Bem's desires.

Shawn got up and moved along the bed to start on Bem's ass.  Bem stopped
him with a little yelp. "And after," Bem said in a voice that begged,
"you'll put me between you, just the three of us with me in the middle, so
we can sleep.  Right?"

I leaned down and kissed the top of Bem's head. "Of course.  All three of
us together with you in the middle, safe and warm and protected."

"Thanks." Bem whispered. "You guys...I can't thank you...could never thank
you enough."

Shawn shifted down toward the foot of the bed and knelt with his legs
alternating between mine and Bem's.  He opened Bem's furry ass and pressed
his face into it to kiss Bem's hole.  Bem shivered from the intimate
contact.  Shawn raised his head again. "You don't have to thank us for that
stuff, Bem.  I already told you, we do it because we love you.  Now, relax
and let us love you."

Shawn pressed his face into Bem's ass.  Bem heaved a sigh that shook from
the attention of Shawn's tongue.  I loosened my grip on Bem and let my
hands roam over his back.  Bem's whole body, including his back was covered
with an even coating of fine, dark-blond hair.  It felt like silk to my
palms.  I ran my left hand down the channel of Bem's spine and used my
middle finger to tease the top of Bem's crack.

My finger took Shawn's attention from the ass he was feasting on.  He
raised his eyes to mine.  They smiled at me in spite of the fact that the
mouth that he would normally smile with was busy.  Our eye contact drove
Shawn to increase his efforts on Bem's ass.  He pointed his tongue and
tongue-fucked Bem's furry hole while he maintained eye contact with me.
The act made Shawn feel nasty and naughty.  Something that Shawn and I
shared was intense mutual arousal at watching and being watched by the
other when we had sex with Bem.

Bem moaned in my ear and squirmed against my body from Shawn's attention.
I felt his cock harden against my belly.  I knew that he'd be leaking soon.
When Bem was very aroused, his cock leaked like a faucet.  I loved that
about him.  I loved the slick, salty juice that flowed from him in stringy
drips.  I loved the feeling of having it smeared between us and I loved
that it would be something for Shawn and Bem to lick off me later.

Shawn took his face from Bem's ass to tease him by blowing across his hole.
That particular act, that of pausing a rim job to blow on the hole, was
something Bem had taught us.  The breath evaporates moisture from the
bottom's ass, creating the sensation of abrupt cooling.  It was intense for
the recipient and something that usually elicited shivering groans of
pleasure.

Bem reacted the way I expected.  His body trembled against mine as Shawn
blew on his hole more than once.  He groaned in appreciation.  Shawn
grinned at me.  He took pleasure in giving Bem pleasure and in me watching
him do it.  Shawn gasped a breath and leaned into Bem to keep going with
the rim job when a quick cry from Bem stopped him. "Big Guy," Bem said to
my ear, "please...please just hold me.  Don't do anything else, just hold
me."

I wanted to ask him why, but I didn't.  I put my arms back where they had
been and crushed Bem against me.  "OK?" I asked him when I thought I had
the tension right.

"Thanks...thank you...like a lot." Bem whispered to me. "Tell Shawn to go
ahead now."

I nodded to Shawn who dove into Bem's ass with new enthusiasm.  I held Bem
tightly and enjoyed his heat and the masculine scent of his body while
Shawn ate him, then fucked him.  When he was finished, we switched.  Shawn
and I gave Bem what he wanted.  We made love to him in the exact manner
that he proscribed.  The only liberty I took was near the end of the
session, after I'd sucked the first load out of Bem.

My mouth was full to bursting with rich, thick cum.  I'd had to let some
slide down my throat because there was so much of it, much more than I was
used to from Bem.  The volume of it reminded me that the load was the
product of several days of abstinence.  I was tempted to gulp it down, but
that much of Bem's creamy and slightly bitter cum seemed to demand I do
something more creative with it.  I looked up at Bem's hairy body, slick
with the sweat of sex, and was inspired.

I moved up the bed, straddling Bem and Shawn who was underneath him.  Shawn
held Bem tightly like I had done, except Bem had flipped to be face-up.
I'd already fucked him and rimmed my load from his hole when I turned him
over to suck him off.  I got Shawn to unfold his arms from over Bem's chest
and to relocate his hands to Bem's shoulders.  Bem protested until I made
stern eye contact with him.  He quieted and watched to see what I was going
to do.  I centered my face over Bem's sweaty, hairy chest and pursed my
lips.  Bem's load dribbled from my mouth and ran down his body.

Bem didn't understand and said as much. "Big Guy, I thought..."

I held my right index finger up to stop his talking, then used the palm of
that same hand to smear the cum across the whole of Bem's torso.  I
finished by wiping the cummy hand over Bem's lips and close beard.  The
look on his face showed that he still didn't understand what I was doing.
I demonstrated by moving down Bem's body, to the bottom of his flat
stomach, and using my tongue to lap the cum and salty sex-sweat from Bem's
torso.

Bem seemed to approve of my idea.  He even said so. "Ooooooohhhhh
fffuuuuuuuuuuck aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." he moaned as I licked and slurped
and tongue-fucked his belly button.

I made short work of Bem's body and finished by licking his face like an
affectionate dog.  I plunged my tongue into his mouth, kissed him deeply,
then slid right back down his body to suck another load from his still-hard
cock.  Bem objected as I slurped his cock into my throat. "No!  Big
Guy...too...much."

He even tried to push me away until Shawn pinned his arms at his sides and
held him tightly like he had before.  I knew that if Bem tried to push me
away, I'd likely overdone things.  I didn't want to stop, but I also didn't
want to exhaust Bem too badly.  I decided to `pull his trigger' to get him
off quickly.  I used my thumb on his perinium and two fingers in his ass to
massage his prostate so he'd shoot his second load without too much effort.

Bem filled my mouth a second time.  I released his softening cock from my
mouth and moved up along his body again.  This time my goal was different.
I spread myself over Bem to sandwich his gasping, heaving body between me
and Shawn and so I could put my face over Shawn's.  Shawn knew what I
planned to do because it was something I did most times the three of us
were together.  Shawn opened his mouth to receive his treat.  I let Bem's
thinner, second load run from my mouth into Shawn's, then followed it in
with my tongue.  We kissed and let our tongues play with the load until
Shawn finally swallowed it down.

I rocked back on my legs to sit on my heels.  I opened my mouth to ask Bem
if what we'd done had met with his approval, but I never spoke my teasing
question.  Bem was fast asleep.  I guessed I really had over done things
and worn him out beyond exhaustion.  I felt bad for pushing things too far.
I hoped I hadn't driven him to a relapse.  Shawn didn't seem worried, so I
took some solace from that.

I wrapped Bem in my telekinesis and lifted him from Shawn's body.  I moved
him to the center of the bed and laid him gently on his side.  I left my
magic around him so he wouldn't feel abandoned and waved for Shawn to
follow me to the bathroom.

I built a box of magic around the whole inside of the bathroom to block any
sound from waking Bem.  I left a small hole for my magic to get through so
I could keep Bem `swaddled' in my power.  I'd planned to tell Shawn that I
needed my ass fucked badly and that the session with Bem, though fun,
hadn't done anything to sate my appetite.  Shawn preempted what I planned
to say by showing me that he felt the same way.  He leapt onto the sink and
positioned himself on his knees with his ass pointed at me.

He slapped his right ass cheek the used both hands to spread himself
open. "Eat me like you're starving and fuck my ass like you're mad at it!"
Shawn demanded.

I slid a soft mat of my magic between Shawn's delicate knees and the hard
composite of the sink.  When I was certain he was comfortable, I did as he
asked.

* * * *

About an hour and two rounds of ass eating and flip fucking later, Shawn
and I were in the oversized bathtub with the water up to our shoulders.
The only light in the room was the tiny, plug-in nightlight over the sink.
I laid against the tub and Shawn laid against me.  My hands were flat on
Shawn's chest and Shawn's hands were flat against mine.  He took my right
hand in both of his and played with it, kneading it between his hands and
tracing the scars with his soft fingers. "I love your hands." He said and
kissed the back of my meaty paw.

Shawn returned my hand to his chest and laced his fingers in mine.  "What
was that about?" He asked me.

I knew that Shawn was asking about Bem, but I decided to tease him a little
anyway. "You told me to fuck your ass like I was mad at it.  I just did
what you asked me."

Shawn sighed at my teasing and chuckled gently. "Silly ass." He breathed to
the darkened room. "You know I meant Bem and his wish.  What's going on
with him?  And what was with that sex that he wanted?  I like to be held,
but usually after sex, not during.  I've never had sex like that."

"I don't know." I replied helplessly. "That stuff he said...about giving
himself up to be part of us, that was weird.  I mean...I kind of get it,
but I've never heard anyone talk about it like that."

"What do you get?" Shawn asked.

If I hadn't been holding Shawn, I would have rubbed my neck to help me
answer his question.  Since I couldn't do that, I craned my head off the
tub so I could kiss Shawn's right shoulder.  I settled my head back and
tried to explain. "He's overwhelmed by his life.  I don't really understand
all that stuff about the noise and people in pain and that, but it's
obvious that Bem needs a place to hide.  He thinks we have this super
special relationship, and..."

Shawn's guard went up as I mentioned us.  "Don't we?" He blurted.

"Don't we what?" I asked.  His outburst had taken me by surprise and I
didn't know what we were talking about.

Shawn clarified. "Don't we have a super-special relationship?"

"Of course, we do." I rushed to make sure I didn't hurt Shawn's feelings by
inadvertently minimizing our love. "I don't mean to take anything away from
what we have.  I'm just saying, from Bem's perspective, he seems to think
what we have is...I don't know." I took a breath to reset what I was trying
to say and went at it from a fresh angle.

"I love you.  You know I love you.  I know you love me.  What we have it
amazing and special and wonderful and life changing.  Anyone who was alone
would look at what we have and want to have it.  Most people would look at
us and they would think, `I want that, I need to find someone to have that
with.'  Bem...he seems to look at what we have like it's something he could
never have.  Why?"

"Why?" Shawn parroted.

"I think it's that `why,' whatever that thing is, I think that's what's
eating him up." I reasoned.

"What could that be?" Shawn asked the obvious question.

"No idea.  Whatever it is, I feel like we have something to do with it.
Whatever happened to him, it started happening after we saw him three
months ago.  I've been trying to figure it out, but I don't know what made
that visit different from all the other visits we've had with him.  It was
a little longer than most of the others, but other than that." I
shrugged. "I mean, we saw a show, spent the week with him, and romped every
night.  That's pretty much what we do every time."

Shawn shook his head against my chest and yawned. "I don't know, but I
think it's time for bed.  We'll have to think about it some more tomorrow."

I agreed with Shawn.  We had a little more conversation while we rinsed off
from the bath and dried each other.  The gist of it was that we wouldn't
ask Bem outright unless something changed that required us to ask.  We
would let him come to us or keep his secret as he saw fit.  In the
meantime, as long as he kept getting better, that would be enough for us.

When we were dry and ready for bed, Shawn and I arranged ourselves around
Bem in the `row of spoons' positions that we'd been sleeping in since the
night he showed up on our doorstep.  I pressed against Bem's back, with
Shawn at his front, and composed myself to sleep.  Shawn drifted off first.
I felt his consciousness shut down for the night.  I followed him to
dreamland soon after.