Date: Tue, 11 Dec 2007 04:02:14 -0500
From: Ring Master <academygm@hotmail.com>
Subject: Assistance is Futile

"Explain to me again why I have to do this, Stefan."

I peered over at my compatriot, my ire rising.  The guy whined worse than I
did, and that was a feat.  "Because my job is a much more expanded version
of yours," I told him, "and yours needs to expand to compensate for the new
world order.  And because I'm a major god and you're a minor god, so I
outrank you.  I'm not going to boss you around, but having someone else
take some of this off my hands would be nice."

We stood outside an exam room in a hospital.  This particular wing was
extremely quiet, and would be for several months still.  My compatriot
glared at me.  "You're already pulling rank."

I sighed.  "Just work with me here, Eros.  That's all I ask.  Besides, I
didn't pull rank here, mom did.  She said that you were now my assistant as
you were hers.  I'd like us to work as a team here."

He closed his eyes.  He really was beautiful.  I wasn't attracted to men,
aside from Cade, but I was always hard when I looked at Eros.  It wasn't a
choice for anyone.  The guy was lust personified.  He also looked different
to everyone who saw him.  To me he was very effeminate.  If I squinted, he
actually looked like a flat-chested girl, very close to what Hebe had
looked like, actually.  To other people, he could look like a jock, a
circuit boy, a drill sergeant, a hairy bear, or any other myriad of types.

"Why can't I just stick to making guys lust after each other?" he asked,
crossing his arms.  Even pouting he was cute.

"Because I'm doing that too, and people know me," I explained to him for
what seemed like the thousandth time.  "If you're not doing something that
people will know you for, you'll fade out."

"Pfft!" he argued.  "You and I both know that I won't fade out.  As long as
my other form is on every Valentine's Day item out there, I'll remain in
existence."

I chuckled.  "Your other form will exist, Eros," I pointed out.  "Not this
form.  No more parties as the hottest guy in the room that gets all the
action.  You'll always and forever be..."

"You say it and I'm leaving," Eros warned me.  I grinned.

"No you won't...Cupid," I said with a wicked gleam in my eyes.  As soon as
I mentioned the name, the hot guy vanished in a puff of pink smoke and was
replaced by a small, fat, cherubic boy with curly golden hair, white
feathered wings, and a read bow with heart-tipped arrows in the quiver.  He
was almost completely naked except for the diaper.  I giggled.

"Asshat," the baby said in a gruff adult voice as he walked over to me and
kicked me in the shin.  Sharp pain erupted from the contact point and I
fell to my knees.

"You want me to leave you like that?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"You want me to make you fall in love with every guy in this hospital?"
Cupid retorted.

"Your powers never worked on mom, and they won't work on me," I told him,
still gripping my shin.

He pulled out an arrow, knocked it in the bow, and pointed it at my heart.
"Untested theory," he replied.  "Care to find out if you're right."

"Rather not," I said.  "Eros."  Cupid vanished in a little blue puff of
smoke and the beautiful young man with feminine features returned in his
place, as did my woody.  This time, Eros had a very smug look on his face.
"Only a temporary win, Eros," I told him.  "As soon as I can talk to Cade,
we'll test to see if your powers work against me, so we can have that
question answered."

"Fine," he said.  "Shall we go inside now?"

The sudden change in attitude shocked me.  Then something mom had told me
that morning jumped into my head.  "Eros isn't against work," she had said,
"but he'll only respond when someone has power.  If he knows you're boss,
he'll listen to you.  The only other way is for him to get the upper hand.
He'll go along with you because I'll tell him to, and I've been his boss
for millennia, but after that, you need to earn his respect."

"I should go first," I told him.  "They know me and I can introduce you."

"Makes sense," he said.  I sighed.  His thinking he had the upper hand was
annoying on a personal level, but it was making my job easier.  I wasn't
sure whether to be happy or pissed.

I stood up straight, put a smile on my face, and walked into...a screaming
match.  Brent was a dark haired twinky circuit-boy type, who was usually
more mild mannered than the raging shrew screeching at Marlon from the
hospital bed.  Marlon was also dark haired, but he was Latino, and built
like a typical jock.  He looked like he wanted to wail on Brent for a
while.

"Good morning!" I yelled as I walked in, still smiling, and picked up
Brent's chart.

They both shut up immediately, though Brent was panting from his tirade.
He was biting back something, and nothing could go forward with things
bottled up.  I beckoned Eros inside.  "Brent, Marlon, this is my assistant,
Eros."

Both of them looked to Eros and froze.  Brent steeled himself and looked
back to me.  Marlon moved in closer to Eros.  "Hey," he said with an
alluring smile.  "When we're done here, wanna go somewhere more private?"

The pillow actually knocked Marlon back a little when Brent pitched it.
"You see what I put up with?"

"Aren't you supposed to be a couple?" Eros asked.

"Not even close," Marlon snorted.  "We were <I>supposed</I> to be a hot
fuck."  He turned his head to glare at me.  "But <I>someone</I> had to give
us the ability to have babies just as I was cumming.  Now I'm going to be a
dad, because my <I>wife</I> won't let Mr. Godly here reverse it."

"I offered, too," I added.  "Not their fault the timing was bad for them.
Brent is very strongly pro-life, though, and I have to respect that."

"No you don't," Eros reminded me.

I gave him my `are you kidding me' look.  "I'm not going to start
overriding people's personal choices based on belief.  Especially on an
issue like this.  If Brent believes his baby had a soul the moment it was
conceived, then that's what we're going with."

Eros rolled his eyes.  "But Marlon here," he winked at Marlon, who grinned
and moved closer, "doesn't have the same beliefs.  Why do Brent's beliefs
count, and not Marlon's?"  Marlon pressed himself against Eros and they
started kissing.

"Cupid," I said, changing Eros back into an infant.  Marlon looked appalled
and backed away to the bedside quickly.

Cupid glared at me.  "Change me back, Fucknut, or I'll show you true pain."

"Stop threatening me," I told him.  He walked toward me and I sent a mental
blast to knock him against the wall, holding him there.  "I'm a god, you're
a demigod, I'll answer your questions because it's in my nature to be nice,
but these power plays of yours stop NOW!"

Cupid looked directly into my eyes.  "Finally," he said with a grin.  "The
boy grows a pair."

"You were testing me?" I asked.

"Didn't your mother tell you I would?" Cupid retorted.  I released him and
he hovered there for a moment, then fluttered to the railing at the foot of
the hospital bed.  "Leave me like this," he said, finally serious.  "It'll
keep lover boy in check.  So, why do you follow Brent`s wishes and not
Marlon's?"

"Honestly, I don't know," I said, still a bit stunned.  "It came down to
choosing between the two, so I did."

Cupid looked me up and down.  "You really don't know yet, do you?"

"Know what?" Now I was getting really worried.

"If you were really the god of gay sex and lust, you'd be able to do what I
do in Eros form," Cupid told me.  "Your mere visage would cause men to lust
uncontrollably after you.  On the contrary, men see you and feel safety and
comfort, not lust."

Now I was concerned.  "But I can still affect love and lust," I mentioned.

"Lust, maybe a little," Cupid said.  "Love, yes, but not as well as I do."

"Are you saying you're more powerful than I am?" I asked suspiciously.

Cupid chuckled a little.  "Not a chance," he laughed.  "Few of us are.  Not
a single one of us could change the entire male population to make them
able to give birth.  None of us could alter a man's sexuality, either,
except for Aphrodite and I, and now you.  But the mass mutation of the
species, that wasn't even possible until you came along.  Sure, we changed
a person to a tree here and there, but never permanent and lasting changes
planet-wide."

"Then what is it you're saying I am?" I asked.

"You're not filling your mother's shoes," Eros said.  "That's apparently
going to be my job.  You're filling Hera's.  You're the god of childbirth
and familial love."

And suddenly it was right.  Right in my head, and right in my heart.  I
rushed over and embraced the baby.  That was my place.  That was what was
missing.  Bits of power in my head, which I hadn't been able to explain in
the past, now made sense.  Crushes had seemed so trivial to me, while the
long term relationships had been more to my liking, and now I knew why.
Now I knew why the babies were bringing me more joy than the new romances.
Now I knew why...

"Alright, alright," Cupid said with a chuckle, "we get it.  You like this
news."

I wiped a tear from my eye.  "I love this news," I said.  "And I'm guessing
this means you really have no business with this pregnancy thing."

"Yep," Cupid said with a grin.  "But now that you understand, I'll stay
anyway and learn a thing or two."

I smiled at him warmly.  "Absolutely," I told him.  "Absolutely."

**************************

Author's note: Well, "Duce" did a little better in the ratings, but still
not phenomenally.  Remember, and this applies to all nifty writers you
enjoy, not just me: we are a much better judge of what you want and like
when you give us regular feedback.  A lot of these short stories are fueled
by reader comments.  In fact, this one would have been completely different
if people hadn't been begging for more Stef.  It's also part of a
mini-series, so the next part will step it up into what you've really been
asking for, with a focus on Stef and Cade.

The Blog - it's going pretty well and there are some responses, but it's
slow going.  There is, starting this last entry, a new feature.  One of the
readers, Justin, got inspired by Godsend and asked to write his own series.
This series is in the Godsend world and takes place during the two year
span when Stef used the orb to teleport off of O'onerut's ship and he and
Min were missing.  The story, "Thought and Memory", will only be accessible
through the blog, and Justin wants to also get a chapter up per week like I
do.  His writing style is solid and the story itself is riveting, so I
highly recommend everyone check it out.

As always, please comment at the blog so other people can see what you're
thinking and you can interact with each other as well as me.  However, if
you want to say something to me and me alone, you are always free to email
me.  I welcome both forms of communication.

The blog: http://geocities.com/waterbearer99/blog.html
My email, for those who wish to talk only to me: academygm@hotmail.com