Date: Wed, 20 Apr 2022 05:45:50 -0400
From: Jayce Marvel <jaycemarvel501@gmail.com>
Subject: Series: Imago; Story Title: Lust 2

After putting a blanket over Mom so she'd know everything was
fine, I spent the rest of the evening reading the manual.  It turned out
that, for small objects, I could just put the real thing inside and it
would copy.  I put one of the rolls of printer paper inside and turned the
dials to the proper setups.  I pushed the button and a new roll appeared on
the floor.  Handy.


The main dial had settings like "full object," "full image,' and "subject
only."  If I put a photo in with "full object," it would literally give me
another photo.  I'd need "subject only" to get just Mason out of the
picture.  If I chose "full image," it would spit out the scenery around him
as well.  In what universe would that be a good idea?  Would projecting an
entire park into my bedroom blow the walls out?  Those were the questions
on my mind when I finally passed out for the night.


***


The next morning I woke up with the manual next to my head, open to the
page I'd been reading, and a string of drool arching from my bottom lip to
the corner of the book.  After a minor panic attack about leaving things
out and possibly ruining them, I reassured myself that I hadn't, in fact,
ruined anything, but I was lucky and needed to be more careful.


Just to be sure, I placed the manual in the projector and duplicated it.  I
hid the duplicate at the back of my closet under some back issues of Men's
Health.  It would be obvious to anyone finding those magazines that I
didn't use them for fitness, which was why they were hidden.  I didn't dare
try and stash gay porn in my room, though.  Only Isaac knew my secret for
sure, and I kind of thought Mason knew.


I eyed the picture of us taken at the spring dance.  That was a week after
I'd blown my cover with him.  It was time to see what this box could really
do.  I slipped the picture in and set it to the symbol that meant "subject
only," then hit what I was starting to call the Go button.  Immediately,
copies of him and me were standing there, in my room, looking confused.
Shit.  I hadn't wanted myself as well.


"The hell?" Mason said, a bit too loud for my apartment.


"Shh!" I hissed.  "Keep it down and I'll explain."  Past me was eyeing me.
"You too," I told him...me...whatever.  Seeing a copy of myself made me
sick.  I was inches shorter than him and a lot wider.  My hair was so wispy
and cowlicked that it made a fan at my right temple and another spray that
wouldn't stay down in the back.  My face was splattered in pimples, next to
Mason's smooth, clear skin.


"Obviously, you were both just at the dance, and now you're here, which
can't happen."  I was spinning the lies quickly, hoping they'd sound
convincing.  "I've been playing with time travel, and I'll get you back in
a second.  Mom's sleeping, though, so don't be noisy, for fuck's sake."


"How far into the future are we?" past me asked.


"A couple of months," I said.  "I literally just got this yesterday, and
don't know what I'm doing yet."  Both of them looked impressed.  "I know
the reverse button.  It's the first thing I learned, so I wouldn't destroy
the timespace continuum while I fiddle with the settings.  Getting you back
will just involve a twist of this dial and then pressing this button.  I
let them see, since they weren't going to exist in a few seconds anyway.


I had another idea.  I grabbed the new camera.  "Mason, I want to
commemorate this.  Can I get a picture of you by the box?"


He shrugged and stood next to it.  I stood next to past me.  I glared at
him while my back was to Mason.  "Don't blow up my game, dude," I whispered
almost inaudibly.  Past me smirked just a bit.  He knew.  I may have hated
how I looked, but I loved how quickly I understood what needed to be
understood.  I turned and lined up the shot, snapped it, and then traded
places with Mason.


"Alright, boys.  Sorry to have interrupted your dance.  You two go have fun
for the rest of the night."  I waved and hit the button, making the two of
them flash out of existence.


Without hesitation, I hooked up the phone to the printer and printed off
the photo of just Mason.  It was damn good quality.  I put the one of both
of us back on my desk and the new one into the box.  This version would
have just gotten the explanation of the time travel and the instructions
for quiet, and wouldn't be as confused, I hoped.


He stood before me in his blue button up and khakis, looking like an entire
snack.  "One last thing," I said.


He looked around.  "Where's the other you?"


"That's why I needed the solo picture, so I wouldn't summon myself again.
That was creepy.  I didn't bring you here by accident.  I brought you here
because I had a question for you.  Something happened between us like a
week ago in your time.  Do you remember?"


He looked deeply uncomfortable all of a sudden.  Why?  "Yeah," he said
under his breath.


"Tell me what you think it meant.  Please."


"I think you kind of...sort of...came out to me.  But you didn't.  Not
really.  Wait.  Why not just ask the future me that's with you?"


"Because you're not pulled from the past.  You're pulled from the picture
of you.  When you're done, you go back to the picture, not back to the
past.  Future you won't remember this.  I wanted to learn the truth without
changing things with him."


His face scrunched up as he processed.  "I'm not real, then, am I?"  I
shook my head.  "Fuck.  Then I shouldn't be putting the real me's thoughts
on blast."


"It's not like that," I told him.  "I do want to have this talk with him,
but this is like a dry run, so I don't ruin our friendship.  I keep wanting
to talk to him about it, but my nerves kick in and I freeze up.  It doesn't
help that he's never mentioned it since, like nothing happened.  We're
still best friends...best straight friends.  It's killing me not knowing if
he understands or if he wishes he didn't know, or what."


The Imago version of Mason put his hand on my shoulder.  "Zac, stop
freaking yourself out.  Yeah, I know you like guys.  I don't think you get
that I'm as nervous as you are about personal shit.  If you're afraid of
talking about it, there's nothing in the world that would make me bring it
up."


"What do you think about me liking guys?"


"I think I'm okay with it.  I can only guess that, if future me is still
hanging out with you, that I'm still cool with it, you know?"


I nodded and exhaled.  "Alright.  I guess he and I can have that talk.
Thank you so much."


"That's what best friends are for."


"Mind if I get another pic of this version, the one who knows the score,
just in case I need to talk?" I asked him.


He hesitated.  "Why not just talk to the real me?  It's more honest that
way."


"The real you has a life of his own.  I only get to see him like once a
week outside of school.  I'd kind of like someone to talk to on the
regular."


"You want to bear your soul to me like a diary, but without letting the
real me know," he summarized.  Sighing, he sat on my bed.  "Fine, but I
need to know what the real me is up to so I don't go crazy.  I'm still me,
and I still have my own goals in life.  If I know what he's doing, or I'm
doing...whatever...it'll let me live vicariously through myself."


Before he could take it back, I snapped a picture.  "I'll be sure to take
you out of the new one instead of one of the older ones, so you're up to
date."  I reset the controls on the projector to delete, but I didn't press
the button.


It was time to be brave.  Well, brave-ish.  I had my finger on the button
just in case.  "I'm in love with you, Mason.  I have been for a while.
It's not just friendship for me.  I want to go over there and kiss you
right now."


"Gross," he replied, but he didn't get up.  He didn't look at me either..
"I sort of wondered if you liked me like that.  The thought makes me feel a
bit sick, like something important just died."  He looked up at me.  "You
took the picture first so I wouldn't remember this, didn't you."


"Yeah," I admitted.


He looked pissed.  "You know what?  Good.  Don't tell that to the real me
or the living diary me.  I 100% don't feel the same way, and knowing just
makes me feel like shit.  You can fucking delete me now."


I pushed the button, then dropped onto my bed where he'd just been sitting.
I couldn't stop crying.  That was my proof.  He didn't like me as anything
other than a friend.  He would never love me back.  If I told him how I
felt, whatever I had with him would be over.


I wasn't sure how long I'd been crying, but my last minute alarm cut me
off.  Since I'd fallen asleep early, reading, I woke up earlier as well.  I
had to go to school now.  I had to see him, the real him, knowing exactly
what he thought.  I wanted to just skip, but I couldn't.  Mason wasn't the
only one who had goals and dreams of a better life.  I threw on a pair of
sweats and an oversized hoodie.  I didn't want to be seen.


I needed to eat something to feel better.  I went out to the empty fridge
and looked inside.  Fuck that noise.  The camera was coming with me to
lunch.  I slipped it into the pocket of my hoodie and headed out to the bus
stop with my backpack.


I was early, but it didn't give a shit.  The spring air was still chilly
and I started to shiver inside my hoodie.  I sat on the bench and huddled
into a ball to try and warm up.


"You alright there, bro?"  Hearing Mason's voice wrecked me inside.


"Just cold," I lied.  I refused to look at him.  My hood was up over my
head, and I realized I hadn't done anything with it since waking up.  I
didn't care.  I was going to school to learn and nothing else.


He sat next to me.  "The bus'll be here in a minute.  You got this."  I
snorted despite myself.  He was still him, still supportive, still amazing.
The fact that he made my heart jump just sitting there, even after what had
just gone down at home, kind of shocked me.  What the hell was wrong with
me that I still wanted to cuddle up to him?


The bus pulled up and he made a beeline for the seat over the heater.  I
almost didn't sit with him.  I wanted to hide, but I knew he picked that
seat because I was cold, and if I didn't sit with him, he'd know something
deeper was going on.


When the bus started moving, he spoke softly enough that I would be the
only one to hear him over the engine.  "Now what's really up?  You're in
your `everyone leave me alone' outfit."  He pulled back my hood enough to
look at my face.  "And your eyes are red from crying."  He let the hood
fall back down so I could hide again.


"Nothing," I said.


"Bullshit.  Did someone do something to you?"


`Yes, Mason, you did something to me,' I screamed at him in my head.  Out
loud I just said, "no."


We sat in silence for most of the bus ride.  Before we stopped, he added
something.  "Look man, I know I've been quiet about it for months, but is
it the gay thing?  I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it, when you told
me, but I didn't know what to say.  I'm cool with it, you know?"


All that time guessing and I never even had to tell him.  His words made me
cry all over again, and I curled my knees up to my chest.  I responded by
tipping to the side and leaning my head on his shoulder.


He readjusted and put his arm around my shoulder.  "Take your time with it,
bro.  I got your back.  If anyone wants to give you shit, they'll have to
go through me."


Throughout the day, he didn't hang back to chat with people like he usually
did, making him one of the first to get to the alcove our friends used as a
meeting spot.  Between every class, he checked in on me, or at least gave
me a nod of support.  How could I not fucking love that boy?


But I knew the truth.  I knew that he didn't love me back the way I loved
him.  It killed me.  Every time I passed him, the tears fell as soon as my
back was to him.


"You're coming over today," he told me after our last class.  Oh, how I had
longed for him to say that to me under different circumstances.  "We need
to talk."


That last line made the bus ride home into a hellish experience.  He was
mad at me about something, and I had no idea why.  We got to his apartment
block and into his family's unit.  His sister was there.  She looked up,
about to make some snarky comment, but Mason shook his head at her, his
hand on my back, leading me to his room.  "Not today, Jamie."  She backed
down.  Girl was just about to finish middle school, but she could already
read a room.


We got into Mason's room, a land of flannel and 90s alternative vibes.
"What else is going on?" he asked after closing the door.  "I've never seen
you this bad."


What could I tell him so he'd get it, but not know the whole truth?  Most
of the truth?  I went with it.  "I told a guy I liked him, and he basically
told me to never talk to him again.  I had feelings for him and now he
hates me."


"Alright, so who's ass am I about to go kick?  Is it Casey?  I know he's
been out forever and he thinks he's the shit, but he could at least be
gentle about it."


"It's not Casey.  It's not a gay guy.  He's straight, and he took
it...badly."


"Dude!  What the hell are you thinking, going after straight guys?  That's
like a first class ticket to heartbreak, at the very least.  Did he hurt
you physically?"


"No, he just told me to leave him alone forever."  I lay back on his bed
and kicked my shoes off before balling up again.


He sighed at me.  "At least you didn't get hit," he told me.  "You're
lucky.  It could have gone a lot worse."  I noticed he wasn't offering to
beat the straight guy up for breaking my heart.


He sat down next to me.  "Sorry.  You don't need me lecturing you on not
going after straight boys."  He laid his hand on my arm.  "How hard were
you crushing on him?"


"Maximum levels."


"Ouch.  Been there.  Remember Lyssa?  I had it bad for her, and she laughed
in my face.  That week I had the flu back in November -- that was me
curling up in here just like you're doing now.  I'm actually surprised, now
that I think about it, that you actually had the power to go to school
today."


"I guess we know which one of us is stronger," I jabbed.  He punched my
arm.


"You know, if Casey isn't the one who hurt you, maybe consider getting to
know him?"


"Mason," I laughed, "are you trying to get me a boyfriend?"


He pulled an innocent face.  "Maybe."


"Well, it's a hard pass on Casey.  He's so fucking full of himself, it's a
turn off.  Besides, I have it on good authority that he's dating a senior
from another school."


"Who told you that?"


I froze.  "It was...uh...Lyssa.  Sorry man.  I didn't know she was in the
no fly zone."


"It's fine.  I'm over it now.  So many other fine girls to crush on."


"I'm jealous," I told him.  "Casey's the only confirmed gay guy in the
school.  Everyone else is either straight or closeted.  Anyone I crush on
is going to be a mystery box."  A box I could open without them knowing or
ruining my reputation, thanks to the projector, but I wasn't about to let
that secret out.


"Shit.  I'm sorry.  Yeah, that part really sucks.  There should be some
sort of safe app for you guys to be able to connect without letting outside
people know.  And just for high schoolers, not grown ups."  He paused and
shrugged.  "I don't know.  Maybe I'm just trying to solve problems that
aren't mine to solve."


"Nah, it's cool.  There's no way to make sure kids who come in aren't
bullies or old pervs though, and asking a closeted kid to prove their
identity before signing up would scare most of them away."


Mason sucked in a breath through his teeth.  "Yeah.  Not so good.  I just
want a way for you to not feel like shit.  I've known you for, what, five
years now?  You were so happy in middle school, and even most of the way
through freshman year, but something changed and you got so...sad.  This
whole year I've been wondering what happened, and then you came out to me.
I figured that was what was doing it to you, but I didn't know what to say,
and you only got worse.  Was that about when you started crushing on this
guy?"


I nodded.  It wasn't exactly true.  The crush had started back in middle
school.  Late Freshman year was when I realized I loved him.  "More or
less," I told him.


That was when his door opened.  Jamie stood there with three pints of ice
cream.  "Yeah, I was listening at the door," she said.  "Get over it
fuckface," she told her brother, throwing a pint and a spoon at him.  She
handed one to me as well.  "Broken hearts need ice cream therapy.  You
weren't doing too badly with him, but it's time to let the master work."
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Mason go from shocked to pissed to
amused.


I started in on my pint.  "First, I'm not telling a damn person about you
before you're out of the closet, so relax on that one.  Second, whoever
this Mr. Dreamboat is that told you to lose his number is 100% not worth
your time.  You can and will do better.  You may have to wait until
college, when guys aren't so stupid, but it'll happen.  Remember, you only
have two more years of high school, and that's nothing.  You don't have
anyone bullying you, so all you have in your way is the little brain in
your pants."


I nearly spat out the bite that was in my mouth.  "My brother was right
about you being lucky this guy didn't try and hurt you, unfortunately, but
the guy was still an absolute asshole to react the way he did.  If you told
him you had feelings and he threw a hissy fit about it, he's not evolved
enough to date anyone, male or female.  Let him live his pathetic incel
life and say good riddance to him.  Seriously, I mean it.  He is trash and
not worth your emotions."  She put her hand on my chest.  "He doesn't exist
in here any more, do you understand?"


"Yes, Ma'am?" I said, not sure what else to say.


"Now, you've been hanging out here enough for me to know you and what
you're about," she said.  "And you're about getting out of these buildings
and this life.  If you're going to let every pretty boy you come across
distract you from all the work you've been putting in, you're going to end
up trapping yourself in this world.  That goes for you, too, asshat," she
told her brother.  "Most of the boys in my school, and yours, are going to
fail at life and stay here until they die.  Why?  Because they spend too
much of their time and energy trying to get their dicks wet."


Mason did sputter out his ice cream at that.  "Jamie!  If Mom heard you say
that...."


"She'd agree," said a new voice from the doorway.  A short, stocky woman
with prematurely gray hair pulled into a ponytail stood there with her
eyebrows raised.  "Three pints of ice cream and a `Come to Jesus' meeting
from the drill sergeant here can only mean one thing.  Which one of you
boys has the broken heart?"


I knew Jamie would rat me out, but when Mason pointed at me as well, I was
a little offended.  I glared at him with my mouth hanging open when Jamie
whammied me again.  "Some stupid jerkoff boy told Zac to lose his number
when he told him he was crushing on him."


"Dude, Jamie, not cool!" Mason said.  "That wasn't your secret to tell."


"Mason's right, Jamie," Beth, their mom, told her.  She turned her
attention back to me.  "Sorry, she outed you like that, but you don't have
to worry here with me.  I'm going to call the diner and let your mom know
you're staying for dinner.  Does she know yet?"  I shook my head.  "Then
I'm not going to mention it.  You tell her when you're ready, but she's
going to be fine with it when you do.  I'm making spaghetti, so try not to
pack away too much of that ice cream.  That goes to all three of you."


For the rest of the evening, nothing strange or unusual happened.  Dinner
was good.  The company was good.  I was myself, and not hiding.


It was the happiest I'd been in over a year.


**********************************


Author Notes:


I've decided that I will send the episodes to the Nifty Archivist on
Wednesdays.  Whether or not that means they get processed and posted on
Wednesday, Thursday, or even later, is fully up to their time constraints
and how late on Wednesday I send it.  (Also, NEVER harass the archivist!)


I have a Discord channel where I post status updates of my writing, and
that will serve as a nexus for my other works on Nifty for easy access.
Here is the join link: https://discord.gg/kVUrhJ7

I also have a Ko-Fi for TIPS ONLY.  None of my work is behind a paywall,
and the Ko-Fi is only there for anyone who wants to make my life easier.
There is no pressure to donate, and only gratitude in return.  The link is
in my discord channel, linked above, because it looks like being linked to
there directly from Nifty is against Ko-fi's TOS.

Shout outs this week to all my new Discord members, and to those who have
engaged with me over email.  I'm doing my best to keep up with
correspondence, but I also have a streaming schedule and need to write Arc
2.  As of sending this, Arc 2, Chapter 1 is written, and I'm working on
2-2.

~Jayce
( jaycemarvel501@gmail.com )