Jared the Paramedic III Chapter 51

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Jared the Paramedic III ~ Redemption

Chapter 51: Ripples

THIS STORY IS COPYRIGHT © 2018-2019 BY SNOWBLIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. DISTRIBUTION FOR COMMERCIAL GAIN, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, POSTING ON SITES OR NEWSGROUPS, DISTRIBUTION AS PARTS OR IN BOOK FORM (EITHER AS A WHOLE OR PART OF A COMPILATION) WITH OR WITHOUT A FEE, OR DISTRIBUTION ON CD, DVD, OR ANY OTHER ELECTRONIC MEDIA WITH OR WITHOUT A FEE, IS EXPRESSLY PROHIBITED WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S WRITTEN CONSENT. YOU MAY DOWNLOAD ONE (1) COPY OF THIS STORY FOR PERSONAL USE; ANY AND ALL COMMERCIAL USE EXCEPTING EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS REQUIRES THE AUTHOR'S WRITTEN CONSENT. THE AUTHOR MAY BE CONTACTED AT: snowblind94@yahoo.ca

Zane and Jesse were in their home at the village finishing up their dishes after supper. The two of them shared cooking responsibilities, but once a week they each got to choose and prepare a meal of their choice. Tonight, it was Cheesy Shells Hamburger Helper. Jesse would make it every week for his meal of choice, but Zane limited him to twice a month. The meal Jesse prepared had salad, broccoli and fresh green beans along with the main course.

"Jesse, I had a strange discussion with one of the volunteers at the food bank."

"How's that? Did Trevor have too much sugar again?"

Zane playfully cuffed his boyfriend on the upper arm. "You're such an ass at times. Besides that, Trevor is a paid employee and we've limited his donut intake to one per day. He and Nikita are both under that restriction. Those two are like ping pong balls in a tornado when they get too much sugar."

Jesse looked confused, "How's that?"

"They go around and round at hundred miles an hour, bump into stuff all over the place, and lose track of what they're supposed to be doing."

Jesse laughed at that analogy. "I could easily see that happening with those two. They have both come so far, especially since becoming a couple. How's Trevor's Russian coming?"

Zane chuckled, "I need to link up with your memories of languages. The two of them are making smart assed comments in Russian in front of me. He's really picked it up easily as if he already knew it."

Jesse laughed again, "Those brats. Obviously, Trevor is doing very well in learning the language."

"To be honest, sometimes I need to look to see which one is speaking Russian. He's very good, complete with the accent."

Jesse paused upon hearing that and thought for a moment, "Almost quick enough that it could've been a memory?"

Zane stopped washing the frying pan for a moment, staring through the window at the spruce trees surrounding the house. "I honestly hadn't considered it before you mentioned it. Maybe we should tell Jared to keep an eye on him."

"I'm just thinking out loud."

"Keep doing it Jess, I value your thoughts."

Jesse feigned a hurt look to Zane, but his twinkling blue eyes gave him away as to his true intent. "Is it just my thoughts that interest you?"

Zane turned slowly with an exaggerated skewed face as if he was really thinking hard. "I'm trying to remember any other attributes you have which might interest me besides your thoughts."

Jesse smacked his boyfriend's ass playfully. "You're such an ass."

Zane dropped the frying pan into the water, turned and draped his arms across his boyfriend's shoulders. He leaned in, giving him a long kiss. After finishing, "I like the entire package and delivery system of your thoughts." Jesse kissed him back, reached around Zane to cup his buttocks in each hand, massaging them gently. "What about you?"

"Ditto."

Zane pulled his arms off Jesse's shoulders, playfully pushing him away. "Ditto? Ditto? You're such an ass."

"So?" Jesse kissed his boyfriend, then started to finish drying the dishes.

"So anyway," Zane started again, "before you sidetracked me. I was telling you about a strange conversation with one of the volunteers at the food bank. It was Trevor who actually was concerned about Bert and he brought his concerns to me."

"I don't think I know Bert."

"Yes, you've met him. Nice looking man in his 60's, shaved head, moustache about 6', still fairly muscular upper body, touch heavy. He's also the only man who has ever blocked my probe into his memories. I still don't know how he did it."

"The darkest, most beautiful chocolate brown eyes you've ever seen?"

"That's him. He's really such a nice man."

"What's up with him that concerned Trevor."

"Well, both Trevor and Nikita have been spending time with Bert at work and sometimes even going out for dinner together after work. They've developed a friendship, nothing more if that's what you're wondering."

"I wasn't thinking that yet but thank you for ruling it out."

"Trevor's even cleaned his clock at Scrabble."

"That doesn't surprise me. That kid can play the naive, uneducated simpleton very well when he wants to." Jesse paused in thought, then added, "Isn't Bert a retired Cop?"

"Yes, he is."

"I'm surprised that Trevor conned him."

"He may not have conned him, but he definitely was outgunned on the Scrabble board."

"True enough. Please, keep going."

"Well, last week Bert had asked Trevor for both his and Nikita's full names. When he asked Bert what was up, he told Trevor he had an appointment with his lawyer to update his will. Bert has no family to speak of, so he wanted to leave something to both of them in appreciation for their including him in activities as a friend."

"That's a nice gesture seeing neither Nikita nor Trevor has any family to speak of either. But I think I'm getting some yellow flags popping up here."

"This week, Bert was clearing lots of what he called debris out of his apartment. Lots went to the Nest-to-New store of the Salvation Army, with lots given to Trevor and Nikita to help furnish their apartment. They got first choice of the things they wanted."

"What reason did he give for distributing those items out of the blue?"

"He had explained to the boys he was planning on moving into a smaller apartment in a seniors complex in the near future. He didn't need a lot there, or as he said to Trevor 'I don't need a lot where I'm going.'"

Jesse thought for a moment, "So he updated his will, organized his affairs and now he's giving away items he doesn't anymore. The yellow flags which popped up have now become red flags, but I would suspect they are for you as well."

"Oh yeah, they have."

"Does he have a history which would add more flags?"

"A couple of big things in his history. One day, he bumped into two of his friends at the adult LGBT social group. One talked to me while the other kept Bert occupied. What he said was Bert had been walking the line of suicide for many years. I guess he both saw a lot and was involved in a lot of terrible things when he was a cop. They didn't have the mental and emotional support then they do now. And he doesn't qualify for the coverage as a retired officer."

"Another one falling through the cracks."

"A very large crack. To add to it, towards the last part of his career, he was outed as gay. Being inside the force and gay was ugly beyond any of us can imagine. We talked about it briefly one day. Bert explained that they worked alone a lot, as they still do. But, out in the rural areas on the major highways, a lot of dangerous people travelled from one side of the country to the other. He had a reputation for finding stolen vehicles, tobacco, drugs and wanted people more than any other patrol member. Once he'd been outed, he'd called for backup a few times and things had changed. Depending on who was working in the area, they either ignored the calls or were too far away to help. You have to remember GPS technology on the radios eliminated that, but it didn't exist back then."

"So, he was involved in a dangerous situation, but he couldn't rely on the brotherhood of police to back him up."

"Not all of them. For many, nothing had changed. For the few, his backup was nonexistent. They didn't invite him for coffee or lunch meets in restaurants anymore, they drove by him on the side of the road without acknowledgment, or even spoke with him at the detachment."

"He literally didn't exist to them."

"One night, one of the other cars made a call for back up but told Bert not to come as they needed men."

"I'm going to guess the NCOs and supervisors were all accepting of this behaviour if not actively participating in it."

"You called that right."

"Was it one of the reasons for his retirement?"

"He was denied a couple of promotions even though he scored high on the test and interviews. One senior officer had mentioned to him that he would never get his third hook or become a sergeant so he might as well quit trying. He was number one on the promotions list for five years, and the only one not promoted. So, he decided to retire when out of the blue they were going to transfer him into the north at an isolated post with no roads. Everything and everyone had to be flown in there, and it was really isolated. To make matters worse, it had been changed to one-man post from a two-man post just before they transferred him."

"I really don't like what I'm hearing."

"So, he retired at 55. But Bert considered it a positive step in his life. He got a job stocking shelves at a grocery store and volunteered for everything he could in his neighbourhood. For the first time ever, he marched in a Pride parade as well. He did it every year... until this year when he was prohibited for being a policeman."

"Yeah, I can see where this is going. Pride this year was the straw that broke the camel's back?"

"I suspect so. It was right after the announcement about the parade that the changes in behaviour occurred in Bert."

"What's happened today which brought it to the forefront?"

"You really do have an analytical mind, don't you?"

"It comes with being a lawyer."

"This afternoon, we were working on the schedule of the food bank for the rest of the month. Bert was there, so I asked if he wanted to pick any shifts to volunteer. He replied very cheerfully that he wouldn't be available after this weekend for work. He wouldn't elaborate except he was going to go do something he's wanted to do for a while. Trevor and Nikita were both trying to figure out what type of trip he was going on, but I was reading it differently."

"Those red flags in my head are waving frantically now, Zane." Their conversation was interrupted by the doorbell. Both men jumped as it was unusual for their doorbell to ring. Jesse went to the front door. Opening it, he found both John and Gus standing there.

"Good evening, Your Honour," John said as he extended his hand.

"Commissioner, I will send Liam to live with you if you ever call me that again away from work."

John laughed as he replied, "I have been threatened with knives, guns, and violence, but never by having someone use a weapon so devastating and horrific-mass-destruction potential as Liam living with us."

Gus wedged past the two of them. "I'm going to see Zane while you two talk about the doomsday weapon."

"He's in the kitchen, Gus."

"Good, I'll help him make coffee." Then he reached under his jacket to pull a mickey out. "I brought some ouzo to sweeten it with."

Jesse laughed, "Just a mickey? You better not have any more with you... Zane was in bed for two days the last time you got him drunk on Ouzo."

As Gus was going up the stairs, he said something in Greek which caused John to laugh. When Jesse looked at him, John said, "Lightweight pussy." Jesse nodded his understanding with a smirk. "Did Zane tell you what was going on?" asked John as they followed Gus upstairs.

"I think he was just getting to it when you rang the bell. I'm now assuming he called you for help."

From out of the kitchen Zane yelled, "I was about to tell you I called John."

"In fairness John, he has been filling me in for the past ten minutes. Calling you was going through my mind."

"I'm very happy he did call me. By the way, that tree crossing sign on the road breaks me up every time I see it. I keep forgetting to ask Conner about it."

"You really have to ask him sometime. The little guy just sputters and spins his wheels while trying to come up with a reasonable answer."

Just as they entered the kitchen, Gus exploded about something he saw. He was giving Zane a rough time for feeding his boyfriend liquid plastic and grease as a meal. Gus was going to faint when Zane had told him last week Jesse had made two Turkey Hungryman dinners for supper.

John walked into the kitchen, "I love those Hungryman dinners. Many single people eat them, Gus, I've told you that. They're quick, filling, fairly balanced in nutrition and usually the right price."

"I told you before they are like taking a shit on tinfoil and then freezing it."

"Not everyone is as lucky as me to have a Greek husband who loves to cook for him."

Gus took a deep breath as John embraced him. "Ok," the little Greek said, "I apologize Zane."

"No problem, let's make the coffee so I can use that sweetener in it."

Jesse rolled his eyes, "Oh shit, here we go again."

Zane smacked his boyfriend's ass, "Be nice".

A few moments later they were all seated around the kitchen table, each with a cup of coffee. (In western rural Canada, the kitchen table is the meeting place most commonly used for friends, neighbours or business. This author was told for years the living room and dining room was for guests only, but there never seemed to be any guests. At least my parents didn't have plastic covers on everything in the living room like the neighbours did. At our house, we were always around the kitchen table.)

"Zane, thank you for the call about Bert," John started the conversation off. "Every one of the things you told me indicates a clear pattern that he was about to commit suicide. I went to his apartment alone, in work uniform, wearing my flack-vest and sidearm just like any other officer would be dressed. His eyes saw my shoulder boards, and he almost passed out. But he recovered and invited me in for a decaffeinated tea."

Zane reacted at that the same time Gus did, except he said it first, "I forgot about him only drinking decaffeinated tea. We started buying it at the Centre just for him."

"I must admit, the tea he had was dammed good, and I would've never guessed it was unleaded tea."

Gus was getting impatient, "John, get on with the story."

That caused Jesse to laugh loudly as he got a dirty look from Gus. "John, I guess it doesn't matter if it's a wife or husband, one spouse does as he's told no matter what his occupation is." That got John laughing as well.

"Anyways..." started John.

"It's anyway... anyway, not anyways," Gus said flabbergasted. "Between anyways, irregardless, and boughten bread, he kills me at times with his grammar."

John was trying not to laugh, but it was difficult. Both Jesse and Zane were almost falling out of their chairs laughing. Gus was getting flustered at his husband. Finally, John said, "You should hear him sputter, curse, and swear when I slip a couple of those TV dinners like you guys eat into our freezer at home. Last time I thought I was going to have to buy a portable defibrillator to keep in our kitchen because he got so worked up."

Gus looked at John, "I don't care if you get elected as Pope next or speak the Queen's English properly; keep those fucking tinfoil dinners out of my kitchen, or you will sleep on the couch."

Zane's eyes were watering as he said, "I don't think the Queen says fucking."

"It wouldn't surprise me if she did," retorted Gus. "Don't forget she was a truck mechanic during the war and was doing a lot of her own work on her old Range Rover until 10 or 15 years ago. Besides that, she's not afraid to yell at the army cooks when they don't send good enough meals for the soldiers on security at her homes. She goes down and checks as the meals arrive."

Jesse was wiping the tears from his eyes as he said, "Is she related to you Gus? Just imagine her saying in her proper British accent, 'You call those fucking lunches. Looks like someone shit on a tin plate and froze it. We are not amused!'"

John lost it in laughter; a moment later Gus joined them all in laughter after he called them all assholes.

Finally, John tried again. "Anyway, no s on the end, we sat down at his kitchen table and had a discussion. Bert is a hell of a nice man and I feel bad about what happened to him. I can relate to a lot of it, except the transfer shit they pulled on him. He actually talked about something really bothering him. He had made a circle of friends, not a big one but it was still a circle of friends. Around his circle of friends, he had a bigger group of acquaintances. He tells me they've been dying one by one. A heart attack, cancer for a couple, into a nursing home with dementia and so forth. He's watching everyone he associates with die, leaving him alive and alone."

Jesse stared at John for a moment while using both hands to hold his coffee cup, "I never thought of that angle before. Outsurviving your friends."

"I hadn't either. But, after we had been chatting, I just asked him if he was planning on committing suicide. Without missing a beat, he replied to me that he would never lie to anyone, and he was going to do it on Friday evening. He told me that was the anniversary of his retiring from the force."

Gus was surprised, "Why did you ask him so directly?"

"It's what you do Gus. There is a series of things to look for before that point, but he'd already completed them."

"I guess John, I just wouldn't have the guts to ask," his husband replied.

"You get used to it because it's what you have to do. Sometimes they say no, sometimes they do it before you can get there, and sometimes they did like Bert and said yes. He had the plan, the means, and a schedule. There was no doubt in my mind he was going to complete it. Now, the problem is committing suicide is not a criminal offence where you can arrest him anywhere to prevent the offence, especially in his home. Also, although it's a mental health issue, it's not in a public place so you can't arrest him without a signed committal from a doctor."

"Now I understand why sometimes things didn't go the way we wanted them to go in the past," said Zane. "I had no clue it was that complicated."

"It can be," replied John. "So, the next standby for arrest is if he was using a firearm or something, but this isn't a law class. We sat and talked, cop to cop."

"He would be impressed that someone like you would go to his apartment to check on him," added Jesse.

"He was. There's a lot of baggage he has inside of him, but the Pride parade pushed him over the top. First of all, he's Metis so he's indigenous. He talked to the organizers of the Pride event, and they called him a liar because he had no colour in his skin like a real First Nations person."

That upset Zane, "That clearly shows they have no understanding of the Metis people or their culture."

John took his Metis card out of his wallet and said, "I agree with you, Zane. In my case, I'm an indigenous gay Metis police officer named Belanger who has a Mediterranean husband who is a person of colour."

"I hate that person of colour label," Zane spat out with venom. "You and I are indigenous, not persons of colour. Sponge Bob is a person of colour."

"That's a discussion for another day," replied John as he held his hands up in surrender.

Zane looked at the table meekly as he said, "Sorry."

"No problem. This is an emotional topic for many of us. In Bert's case, he'd always tried to be a good role model for youth. He had been a volunteer in a few different youth groups, and he was held in high regard. When he retired, he began retiring from the youth groups as well. Bert suffered the injustice of the dominant culture against gay people. He also suffered the injustice of his employer or the police force, and now he suffers it again from his own community. When he was prohibited from the Pride parade, he simply gave up."

"So, what's happening with him?" asked Jesse with real concern.

"He voluntarily went with me to the hospital. We both went up to the mental health floor where he was accepted as an in-patient for assessment and treatment. He has no one, no support network."

"He has two young men very worried about him. Should I call Nikita and Trevor? They would go visit him right now," asked Zane.

"Not a bad idea," replied John.

Zane stood up as he dialled his cell phone, heading to the living room as he began speaking to Trevor. A moment later, Zane came back to sit down. "They are both heading up to the hospital right now. Trevor was in tears; they both have become very close to Bert. He's the only adult besides our grandfathers who even has ever had the time of day for them. They chat and play board games with him for hours like he was their dad. He loves being with them, and I really think he likes listening to the two of them chat. They also ask him advice from time to time too."

Gus had watery eyes as well, "It's like the two we have right now. They have become family, sons to us as they went to school. They were talking about being able to move out soon when they get a job to support themselves." He turned to John, "I'm sorry that it came up here but John, I'm tired of having an empty house. Our house has so much love to share and it's so quiet when it's just us."

"I know, Gus. But they always seem to find their way to us just like Kyle and Alex did. They don't realize that they brought so much more to our lives by staying with us than we could ever give them." Gus nodded his agreement but was unable to say anything without beginning to cry. "So where are Liam and Jared? Haven't seen them around at all."

Jesse looked to Zane for approval to answer. That movement did not go unobserved by John. "Jared had a bit of problem after the Pride Celebrations we organized for everyone excluded by the Parade Committee."

John was very concerned, "Is he ok?"

"We'll see him this weekend, but Grandfather Tom called yesterday and said the two of them are looking much better."

"What's he going to do then?" asked Gus.

Zane shook his head, "We just don't know right now. He's taken time off, along with Liam of course, but we have no clue what's going to happen with them."

"He wouldn't quit, would he?" asked Gus with concern.

Jesse didn't want to answer the question but did. "It took a long time for me to heal after my losses. But it was Zane, Jared, and Liam who saved me from crashing and burning. I don't know if we as a family can save him. Last I heard, he wanted to live at the cabin, forever."

"Please keep us informed," Gus answered with emotion in his voice. "All of you have come to mean a lot to both of us."

"Let me know if there is anything I can do to help, or if you need anything. Those two are too valuable to lose," John stated clearly.

"We'll keep you both informed," replied Zane. "Now, on a lighter note, there are two young guys living in the shelter with nowhere to go. Tyler and Troy are going to take them into their home. So, it looks like we're all getting a couple of younger brothers."

Gus was excited at the news, "Tell us about it."

"Well, they were part of the canoe trip we sponsored. Actually, they're both 16 years old, they are a couple, just going into grade 11 at the high school. They ended up in Tyler and Troy's canoe because they wanted to tell Tyler they were witnesses at the shooting, and they didn't think it was fair what happened to him."

"What do you think of the kids?" asked John with interest.

"John, they are really nice kids. They are so concerned about not being able to pay for their stay at the centre. Both wanted to get jobs so they could work at night and finish high school during the day."

"They both seem like pretty good kids from my observations as well," added Jesse. "They were trying to figure out who paid for the canoe trip so they could pay them back."

"They sound pretty good," John replied. "Hopefully it all works out for everyone."

Gus was topping off everyone's coffee cup as he asked, "How's my Tyler doing?"

"He's doing a lot better," Zane said quickly. "He really enjoyed the canoe trip, and we're doing a sweat this weekend with everyone." He turned to John, "We have a couple more coming this weekend you would know. I just found out, so I have no clue how it came about but Colton, Carter and Cliff are all coming out."

John chuckled, "So Carter and Cliff are an item." Jesse chuckled as well.

"I guess so. But Tyler will be with us this weekend. He's been coming down to the Centre to help in the food bank a few hours a day. He's helping to sort the incoming food, not dealing with clients."

John was happy to hear that, "That's good to hear. Has he said anything about his intentions yet?"

"To be honest, I was waiting for it to come up this weekend during the sweat," Zane replied cautiously. "The last he said anything to us about it was after the press conference. We were all sitting on the pool deck when he tore his uniform off, threw it into the pool and said fuck them all before he broke down in tears."

Gus shook his head, "I hope he changes his mind."

John was nodding his head in agreement, "I hope so too. There's no hurry for him to come back at this point."

Jesse was happy with that answer. "Glad to hear. Forcing him back too soon could lose him."

"I agree," John replied. "That's where my being the boss helps. I'll give him all the time he needs."

Zane held his coffee cup up, "Any more sweetener left?"

Jesse rolled his eyes, "John, can you spell hangover for Zane?"

Zane stuck his tongue out at Jesse as Gus gave him a good shot of sweetener.

End of Chapter Fifty-One

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Help lines:

Canada:

·Canada Suicide Prevention Service (CSPS), French or English: toll-free 1-833-456-4566 Available 24/7

·Crisis Text Line (Powered by Kids Help Phone) Canada Wide free, 24/7 texting service is accessible immediately to youth anywhere in Canada by texting TALK to 686868 to reach an English speaking Crisis Responder and TEXTO to 686868 to reach a French-speaking Crisis Responder on any text/SMS enabled cell phone.

·Kids Help Phone Ages 20 Years and Under in Canada 1-800-668-6868

·First Nations and Inuit Hope for Wellness 24/7 Help Line 1-855-242-3310

·Canadian Indian Residential Schools Crisis Line 1-866-925-4419

· Trans LifeLine – All Ages 1-877-330-6366

https://thelifelinecanada.ca/help/

United States:

·LGBT National Hotline 1-888-843-4564

·National Hope Helpline at 1-800-784-2433

·National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

·The TREVOR Project for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth 1-866-488-7386

US Veterans – First, after dialing the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255 then pressing "1" will get one directly to people trained to help Veterans. Veterans (or those helping them) can also send a text message to 838255.

Here's a link to the Veterans' Suicide Prevention page – it also has a link for chatting on line.

https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/suicide_prevention/