Jared the Paramedic III Chapter 55

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Jared the Paramedic III ~ Redemption

Chapter 55: Fireside Chat

THIS STORY IS COPYRIGHT © 2018-2019 BY SNOWBLIND. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. DISTRIBUTION FOR COMMERCIAL GAIN, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, POSTING ON SITES OR NEWSGROUPS, DISTRIBUTION AS PARTS OR IN BOOK FORM (EITHER AS A WHOLE OR PART OF A COMPILATION) WITH OR WITHOUT A FEE, OR DISTRIBUTION ON CD, DVD, OR ANY OTHER ELECTRONIC MEDIA WITH OR WITHOUT A FEE, IS EXPRESSLY PROHIBITED WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S WRITTEN CONSENT. YOU MAY DOWNLOAD ONE (1) COPY OF THIS STORY FOR PERSONAL USE; ANY AND ALL COMMERCIAL USE EXCEPTING EDUCATIONAL INSTITUTIONS REQUIRES THE AUTHOR'S WRITTEN CONSENT. THE AUTHOR MAY BE CONTACTED AT: snowblind94@yahoo.ca

That night after they had returned from the Village Days festival, they were all sitting around the campfire dressed in loincloths. "Jesse, I can see why you're with this group of guys," Cliff said with admiration in his voice. "What I saw them and you do earlier today was incredible."

"It's what they're trained to do, and we did what we could."

"But you guys act like a well-trained machine or battalion. It's incredible."

"I've never seen people function so well together, either," Carter added.

Colt quickly added, "I see the same things as you two. I can hardly wait for the sweat tomorrow to learn even more."

Jesse looked at Cliff and Carter, "You two have seen nothing until you go through the sweat."

Cliff looked at him with a skewed face, as if he was wanting more info. Jesse wasn't sure what to say at this point and was happy when Tyler jumped in. "Most of us have our spirit guides join us during the sweat. It's the spirits who guide us in our lives and most days. There are some spirit guides who present themselves for special needs or messages."

Troy was laughing, "Adam had a great one, but it didn't like Liam much."

"Oh, you mean the salamander I wanted to make a belt out of." From out of the dark there was a sound like a cat coughing up a hairball. Liam had a panicked look on his face as he said, "Osikiyâs, are you out there?"

Cliff and Carter gave Liam the 'What?' look.

A large green salamander crawled up Adam's back and sat on his shoulder. Adam scratched his head gently, "Hey buddy, how you been doing?"

"Very well Shaman. I see you've done well with your life."

"Thanks to you helping me get onto the right path."

"You just needed some help, you always had the potential to do it. You still have the potential to do so much more with your life but in the future. It would be unreasonable to assume you would accomplish everything at once."

Cliff and Carter were staring at the salamander. Finally, Cliff said, "Carter, is he talking with the salamander?"

"Yes, he is. What was in the tea we had?"

"If you like that one, wait 'til you see Max," Patrick said with a big smile. From out of the darkness, a large lynx used his front paws to step up on the log next to Patrick. The young man scratched the Lynx's head, "Hey Max, how ya been doing? Have you gone for a run with Shadow."

"We went last night for a run with some others."

Carter's mouth was open, "Now a lynx is talking with Patrick." He turned to Cliff, "We're stoned. We have to be."

The lynx looked at Carter, "We are the human, the human is us. We guide people to do the best they can in their life. We watch over them and protect them from evil."

"I've heard the word evil used a few times. You mean there really is a fight between good and evil here? Like for real?" asked Cliff.

Jared nodded. "Yes, Cliff, there is evil here on the planet. It's unfortunate, but it does exist. It's not the way most people think it is, but it is really trying to collect the life forces or spirit of the people to feed itself. It can only take the life forces of the people who voluntarily give themselves to it, even under false pretenses. Just like we can only help the people who choose to receive our help. We can't force anyone."

"It's a lot to learn, and it really shakes your understanding of the world and the way you thought it was," said Jesse. "For me, it started the day I talked with Marc, and every day since has been a new experience in some way."

From out of the darkness, a large growl was heard as the biggest bear anyone had ever seen came into the light of the fire. Cliff, Carter, Nikita, Trevor, and Colt were already standing, getting ready to run when they realized no one else was concerned.

Troy stood, raised his hand, "Masqua, brother. Good to see you." The bear raised his paw back to him, growling an answer.

Patrick stood up, walked over to it, made a fist and pumped knuckles with the big bear before giving it a hug. "Hey Masqua, your coat looks good this year." The bear growled back at Patrick, causing the young man to chuckle. "Yes, the moustache is coming slowly Masqua, but at least I have hair where it counts," Patrick replied as he rubbed his crotch. The bear laughed.

Masqua turned and looked at Jared, greeting him. Then he reached his paw out to Liam and growled. Liam looked at him, "You drop in unannounced and expect me to make you s'mores?"

The bear growled and coughed at him. Liam smiled, "Well, compliments will get you anything. I have lost weight." Liam stood, "I'll be right back, it's time for a snack. But, it's my idea... not because you asked." The bear laughed.

"Masqua, are you just visiting or is their a purpose?" asked Jared. The bear growled, coughed, hacked, and snorted for a couple of moments.

Jared looked at the ground, "I know you've been with me, and looking out for me. I appreciate it. Yes, I will discuss it during the sweat."

The bear growled in reply. "Yes, the bear and the eagle are together again, and in love more than ever." The big bear laughed as he put his hand over his heart. Jared stood, "Guys, this is my spirit guide, Masqua, the sacred bear of healing."

It was Nikita who was the first to approach the animal, speaking to it in Russian. The bear responded with growls, coughs and grunts. "I understand him."

Colt moved next to Nikita, "So do I. Masqua, it's an honour." The bear looked at Colt, then grunted and coughed. "Yes, that's my grandfather and he was a good man. I just learned it too late." The bear spoke again. Colt looked deep in thought, "Yes, I've talked to him once already and now I have these men to teach me." The bear nodded to him.

"Come on you guys, just touch Masqua's paw. You're protected by the bear here." Clifford, Jett, and Trevor came over and introduced themselves.

Liam returned with s'more making materials, and a bakery box. "Masqua, I have something for you." Liam lifted a chocolate cheesecake out the box and handed it to the bear. The bear coughed, grunted, hacked, and snarled at Liam, then took a big lick of the cake.

Jared pulled Liam down next to him and kissed his cheek. "That was nice of you to share your cheesecake with him."

"I know he likes the chocolate one." Masqua had eaten half of the cake when he offered the remaining part to Liam. Liam broke a little piece off and ate it, "Thanks, but that's enough. I want to stay at this weight."

Masqua finished the rest of the cake in one lick of his tongue. The big bear sat on his ass, feet sticking out, and opened his paws. Jared went, sat down in front of him and was immediately hugged by Masqua's huge arms and paws. "He asked whoever was singing last night to do it again. He really enjoyed it."

Colt ran up to the cabin to get the guitar. "If a big bear asks you to sing, you sing." The group sang, made s'mores and picked on Liam until bedtime. Masqua, Max, and Osikiyâs left after a couple of songs. The men all headed up to the cabin after having a busy day, leaving Jared and Liam alone sitting in front of the fire. They walked to the end of the dock together holding hands, taking in the beauty of the stars being reflected on the flat surface of the lake.

"May I join you?" asked a voice from behind them.

The two men turned, immediately falling to one knee with their head down. "Nimanitôm, we're honoured," Jared said respectfully.

The Ancient One tapped both of the men on their heads, "Please, rise. Let's talk at the fire and have some tea."

"As you ask," replied Liam.

The two men sat down with Nimanitôm, who promptly began to fill three buffalo horn cups he made appear with Saskatoon Berry tea. After handing one to each of the young men, he raised the cup. "Thanks be to the planet for giving us this tea." Jared and Liam repeated the words as well. After taking a drink, he looked at the two men. "So, are you going to ask me why I'm here with you tonight?"

"Nimanitôm, you don't ask the boss what he's up to. You wait until he tells you," replied Liam with a smirk equalled by the twinkle in his eyes.

The Great One roared with laughter, almost spilling his tea. "Thank you, Liam. You truly can bring joy and laughter to this old body."

Jared rolled his eyes, "Please, don't encourage him, Running Squirrel." That got another round of laughter from Nimanitôm.

"So I'm here to check on my two children, my two messengers."

Liam took Jared's hand into his, kissing the back of it. "My husband is rejoining the human race."

Jared smiled, lifted Liam's hand and kissed it. "My husband and I will have to make some changes going into the future."

Nimanitôm gave them the gesture of with both of his hands to continue, out with it, continue, and hurry up.

"We are honoured to do your work, Chad Running Squirrel," Jared began to explain. "We will continue to do the work you need us to do, but we need to take breaks to appreciate mother earth."

Nimanitôm applauded the answer, "I have spent many years creating beauty on mother earth. The colour and scent of the flowers, the softness of the grass, birds flying or swimming, the flow of water over a rock or even the beauty of a sunset. These things are all gifts for man to enjoy, benefit from and use. It is even more important that you two as my messengers need to remain healthy in your heart and mind to not only love each other but to love your family of brothers. Without love in your heart, mind, and spirit, you become the same as a flower which grows in the middle of a desert. It is still beautiful, but there is no one or anything around to appreciate it. That flower in the desert cannot feed the bee, which pollinates to create seeds, there are no birds to eat the seeds so they are deposited elsewhere to grow, no other animals would exist that may need the bird as food, no animals to hunt for food, or furs and leather to make clothes, and no people to look at the flower to appreciate the beauty, or to love each other."

"I understand Nimanitôm, but it took the pain of life to learn," Liam said quietly. "It's not something you could tell us, we had to experience it."

"Yes, you did," the Ancient one replied. "It was also difficult to remain nearby and allow it to happen. The lesson must be learned through experience, but it must not be allowed to destroy the student as it's learned."

"This also comes back to the lesson you've given us a couple of times, but that we had failed to learn."

Nimanitôm sat back on the log, took a sip of his tea and said, "Liam, you made a very good conclusion there. Jared, what does it mean?"

"We can't fix everything. We need to focus our energy where it may be the most effective for the greatest good and for the most people."

"Jared, there will be exceptions, there always are exceptions but yes, that is the lesson I've tried to teach you and your brothers before," Nimanitôm exclaimed with relief. "But, I didn't give up on your being able to understand it."

Liam looked at his husband, "It was easier to see the need to stop trying to fix everything in you than it was in myself."

"That is why I had you two bond in memory sharing. I needed you two to fully understand each other. The sharing of your mind, thoughts, memories, and feelings associated with them was the only way to understand what you just stated Liam. Jared understands not only that you love him, but how many ways you have shown that love through word, gesture and action. He also now understands how he didn't receive some of the words, gestures, or actions you were sending. When he needed them the most, to use your phrase Liam, he didn't get the messages and he crashed and burned."

Jared kissed Liam's hand again, then looked into his husband's eyes deeply. "I love you, and I felt the pain of concern I caused you. I learned from your thoughts and memories."

"I learned as well. These are lessons which we can use going forward."

Nimanitôm smiled, "You both should also share your ancient memories." The ancient one raised his hand towards the two men, "I now bring those memories fully forward within you."

Both men's eyes opened wide as they turned to look at each other. They stared into the other's eyes for a couple of moments, assimilating the information into their thoughts. Much of it was passing by them as movies being played in fast forward, except all of what they were watching was real, and had happened. The knowledge and lessons learned over thousands of years were now fully accessible to both of them. Both Jared and Liam were now also fully in control of all the gifts from Nimanitôm which they would need to perform their job as messengers.

Jared looked to Nimanitôm with concern, "Now that we're fully capable, does this mean we're replacing someone?"

Liam's head snapped to look at the ancient one, "You're not allowing Grandfather Tom and Mathew to leave us for the next world, are you?"

Nimanitôm was quick to answer, "No, no, no. Not at all. I need you to bring Zane, Adam, and Patrick up to the next level while indoctrinating Nikita, Trevor, and Colt. You are now all together, the teachings of the seven grandfathers are together again."

Liam stared off into space for a moment, but then said, "I understand. It shall be done, Nimanitôm."

"That also confirms what we were suspecting about Trevor," said Jared.

The ancient one sat for a moment, then he looked up to the cabin. "They are all still awake up there, let's get their attention." He turned to Liam, "You like doing this, my son, play with the fire to get their attention."

Liam smirked, then stood up. His eyes turned white as Liam stretched his arms toward the fire. The flames in the fire pit began to grow in their intensity, height, and activity. They reached upwards, actively dancing as if they were arms with hands reaching outwards, then upwards. The flames climbed upward until they were fifty feet in height when the fire changed from yellow to the colours of the rainbow. Fireballs shot into the sky, exploding like fireworks. Neither Jared or Liam had heard the cabin empty of all their brothers as they ran down to see what was going on. The men all stood around the fire, watching the display of the colours. Finally, Liam began to slow down the actions until it had all returned to the normal height and colours of the fire in their pit.

The first words spoken had a Russian accent, "That was fucking awesome."

That was followed by Carter asking, "How the hell did you do that?"

There was a new voice which came out of the dark behind Liam and Jared which startled everyone who had just returned to the fire. "Jared, will you introduce me to your new friends?" asked Nimanitôm as he stepped into the light. The brothers who knew him immediately went down to one knee, lowered their heads and raised one hand with the palm facing up. "Please rise. Thank you but this is a social visit." The brothers all stood up.

"Mark, you did well at school this year. Actually much better than the previous year."

"Thank you, Nimanitôm. I've become more focused on my learning."

"Very good. Conner, you're a paramedic now. You were also in the top group of your class. A wonderful achievement."

"I appreciate that, but I should've been higher in my standing."

"Conner, did you do your best at your studies and practicum?"

"Yes, Nimanitôm."

"Then if you can look at what you've done and ask 'Is this the best that I can do?' and it is, that is all we can ask of anyone."

"I understand, but I try to be perfect."

"I've never asked perfection from anyone, just their best effort. Perfection really doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind of man. Don't ever hold yourself to the standard which only I could ever achieve if there was a need."

Conner thought, then smiled at the ancient one. "Any apprentice positions opening up?"

Nimanitôm laughed loudly, "Have your people call mine. We'll do lunch sometime." Conner laughed at that answer, as did many others of the group. "Patrick, my son, you've graduated high school and will be learning to fly a helicopter."

"Yes, Chad Running Squirrel. I am looking forward to it."

"Personally, I still marvel at how those things work. It had never occurred to me that flight could work that way."

Patrick smirked, "The hummingbird is close."

"Good answer, young man. No wonder I keep you around." Patrick and Adam both laughed.

"Patrick, keep going after you learn to fly. The paths you have as options in your life will open to you as you arrive at them." He turned to Patrick's boyfriend, "Adam, are you two married yet?"

Adam began to sputter until he finally said, "I thought finishing police training and Patrick going to helicopter school would be enough accomplishment for this year."

Chad began to roar with laughter again. "Ok, I'll give you two some more time then."

"Zane, you are doing a fantastic job at the Centre with helping any person who needs it. Jesse, Marc says hi and he's proud of you becoming a judge."

Zane and Jesse put their arms around each others waist. "Thank you Nimanitôm. Perhaps you would be available next year to perform a wedding?"

The ancient one smiled, "Of course I would be available any time."

Liam yelled over, "What? Who? When?"

Zane and Jesse raised their hands up to show everyone their rings. "It just happened in our bedroom," Jesse stated proudly.

Zane added, "We were about to go to bed in celebration when the light show started." He then looked towards Nimanitôm and said, "But seeing it was to announce Chad Running Squirrel dropping in, it's no problem."

"Nice recovery..." Tyler said under his breath.

Troy slapped the back of his head. "We have to have a serious talk about you hanging around Liam too much. You are getting really sarcastic."

Conner poked Mark in the ribs, "Go to bed, is that the senior's way of saying going to have sex, screwing their brains out..."

Liam leaned over to add in a voice heavy with the Irish accent, "Tarmack the bejusus out of each other." Jared slapped the back of Liam's head at the same time Jesse slapped the back of Conner's head.

From deep within Nimanitôm came a loud, unrestricted, and unashamed but loving warm laughter at the comments and the antics.

Jared asked Jesse very carefully, "Are Jack and Molly aware of the change in your relationship?"

Jesse smiled at the question. "I knew that was the question you would ask."

"It was well planned out," added Zane. "With cell service here now, we called them just to chat like we usually do."

Jesse went on to explain. "They weren't even suspicious, both were sitting and watching the news wrap up on TV when we called them on Skype. We call all the time, but never in a pattern of time so they didn't think anything was up. We always set the phone down so we can sit in the living room with our feet up, chatting with them. It's really like having a talk with them in the room."

Zane smiled, "Facing each other, we both went down on one knee..."

Liam was bouncing up and down, "Screw that, show us what you actually did."

Jesse and Zane nodded as they each went down on one knee. Both said, "You are the only person I want to see in the morning as I wake up, and the only person I wish to kiss as we say goodnight and fall asleep. When we're not together, you are at the front of my mind in anticipation of when we will no longer be apart. You strengthen the weaknesses I have in my character while tempering the rest with fairness, consistency and compassion. When you have respect and unconditional love for someone as much as I do, the only thing which will make my life complete is as your husband. Will you marry me?"

Both men had tears rolling down their cheeks as they finished repeating the words of the proposal, as did many of their brothers as they rushed to hug and congratulate them.

After a couple of moments, the men returned to the places they had been standing previously. Jared asked with real interest, "So what did Daddy Jack and Momma Molly say?"

Jesse smiled a beautiful smile at his friend, "Molly was crying at the beauty of our words as much as our getting married."

"When she got herself together," Zane added, "She actually said 'About time you two dummies figured it out. I knew it the first time I saw you sleeping in the hospital after you'd been attacked.'"

"I would be pleased to perform the wedding any time you desire it. Marc blesses your intent and said he'll be waiting in the next world to share his love with the two most important people in the world to him if I don't bring him as a guest," Nimanitôm said.

Jesse looked at Zane, and kissed him, holding him tightly after.

"Jared, your grandfather told you to ask me a question the next time that you see me. This is the same question I've heard from every one of my children standing around the fire at some point in their lives. So I'm here, please ask me."

Jared stepped forward, knelt on one knee except instead of lowering his head, he faced the ancient one. "With all respect to you, this is a question I've asked all my life and asked it again recently. Nimanitôm, why am I gay?"

The ancient one smiled, motioning for everyone to have a seat on the bench logs around the fire. He remained standing as he looked at everyone in the circle one at a time. "There is both a simple and a complicated answer to that question. When I gave the gift of love to people, I placed no restrictions on it. Love could be shared in different ways as friends, family, partners, and spouses. You can have love for each other, for your children, for your relatives, and even your pets. It is all the same love, but unique within its qualities in each situation. All love is special, but each time you have love it is a unique experience. Love is meant to be something to be shared without borders of ancestry, language, or gender. The love between two men or women is as beautiful as it is between a man and a woman. Love is a gift which is meant to be genuine, unconditional, and beautiful." The ancient one shrugged his shoulders, "Another way to look at it is some people are blond, others brown eyed, tall, skinny, short, large feet. Gay is just another variation option for my children."

Jared was listening to every word being said, but then asked, "Another variation?"

"Jared, there are people out there who believe being gay is a choice. Their belief is that you woke up one fine morning, rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, listened to the birds sing and while you were eating your morning bowl of cereal, decided that you like men rather than women. This theory believes that any gay person, just like a light switch can turn off being gay to become what they consider normal again. What do you think of that idea, my sons?"

It was Patrick who spoke first. With a significant amount of emotion in his voice, he said, "Running Squirrel, up to my 18th birthday, I had chosen to be straight. I fought to be straight; I denied anything but being straight." The young man took a deep breath, fighting tears as he continued, "I was fighting it from the time my body began to change at 12. I tried so hard to like women, I really wanted it, I wanted to be just like almost everyone else in my school." Patrick had tears rolling down his cheeks as Adam wrapped his arms around his boyfriend from behind along with Tyler and Troy moving to each side of their little brother. "But, Running squirrel, with the help of my friends who are all here tonight I learned that I cannot change what I am. They taught me to learn about it, to accept it, and to embrace it as who I am. The choice I made was not to be straight or gay, but to live as I was meant to live. In my case, I'm gay and in love with Adam." Patrick leaned back into Adam's body for security.

Adam kissed Patrick gently, then said, "I love you, Patty."

It was Jett who asked next, "It's something I would like to know as well. Why am I gay?"

"Jett, would it make you feel better if I said that you were gay because of your parenting. I mean you and your mother were too close so that made you gay."

"No way, that's unacceptable."

The ancient one smiled as he said, "The American Psychological Association says 'Sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, sexual, or affectional attraction that a person feels toward another person. Sexual orientation falls along a continuum. Someone does not have to be exclusively homosexual or heterosexual but can feel varying degrees of attraction for both genders. Sexual orientation develops across a person's lifetime—different people realize at different points in their lives that they are heterosexual, gay, lesbian, or bisexual.'"

The ancient one smiled as he moved to stand in front of Jett. "Tell me what you think you are but I will tell you that you are perfect because I made you. Don't forget, I don't make mistakes."

It was Jesse who asked, "Ok, that's an explanation, but why are people created gay?"

"You really are a good lawyer, aren't you, Jesse?" Nimanitôm retorted. Jesse blushed as he realized who he had just cross-examined in his question. "We have these discussions around the fire pit to learn. You are a special group where an explanation, discussion, and sharing of different views is a wonderful thing. This is the way the people were taught to handle things in the beginning. Never be afraid to ask a question for which you want an answer. If you go too far, I'll respectfully let you know." Nimanitôm smiled as he stared at Jesse, "After all, I am able to handle anything." Jesse smiled back at the ancient one.

"Let me give you the easy explanation of why you're gay." He paused for a moment. Finally, he said, "You're gay because I made you that way and I don't make mistakes. The love you two have for each other is so pure, unconditional, and beautiful; it is an example of the way love was intended to be. Love was meant to be shared between people and although there is a need for procreation to perpetuate the species, love was allowed to exist wherever it was found among the people regardless of their gender. Don't forget, it doesn't take love to procreate, just sex. It takes love to raise the child." The ancient one's face suddenly changed to smirk. "Besides that, anyone can be straight."

Carter was sitting next to Cliff, and finally decided he needed to say something. He waved his hand where the man standing would see it. "Excuse me, sir?"

"Please go ahead, Carter."

"So obviously the guys all know you, but who are you to be saying that you created people?"

Nimanitôm smiled, "I was just going to speak with you, Cliff, Colt, Nikita, Trevor, and Jett. My Name is Nimanitôm, or you may call me Chad Running Squirrel."

"Again, who are you?"

Jared stood and approached where the 'new people' were all sitting together. He looked at the ancient one for approval, which he received with a nod of his head. Jared's eyes instantly turned intensely white. The rest of his body began to glow brightly until everyone had to avert their eyes from the intensity. Just as quickly as it had started, the glow diminished. Jared was now standing in front of them dressed in leather, furs, a bison cap, and his staff. That surprised the group of men who had never seen him dressed this way.

"I would like to present Chad Running Squirrel, who is the spirit we call Nimanitôm. We also call Nimanitôm by the names Manitou, Great Spirit, Creator, and now we will add two Dene names to the list as we have Colt with us. His people call him Yedariyé or Niottsi. Yedariyé means 'He who lives on high' and Niottsi simply means 'Creator.'"

Carter was giving him a strange look, "So you're God?"

"I am called many names which I did not choose, some of them not very nice. The names Jared presented are the names I choose to be called."

"This is insane. I was brought up in a church until I came out and I was taught only the higher up priests could even think about speaking to God. He only spoke to those who had the education and learning to speak with him. They would tell us what God needed us to do."

"Carter, I explained this to Patrick a while ago when he asked the same question. Man has created many different religions and the extensive rules associated with each of them. It wasn't required of man to do that, but a few chose to do it and many followed suit for many reasons. Unfortunately, many of them are very self-serving. You not being welcome in the church anymore after you came out as gay is one of the rules I speak of. If it was a true celebration of the teaching I gave to man, everyone would be there regardless of sexual orientation. By the way, I didn't ask for anyone to wear special robes, hats, hairstyles, or sing certain songs each Sunday. Man did."

Carter thought for a moment before he asked, "How would you summarize your original teaching to man?"

"That's easy. The only thing which has ever been expected of mankind is to live your lives to the best that you can, love other people openly and honestly, and be kind to everyone. Mother Earth is here to provide every person with what they need but use what you take and treat her with respect."

"That's it?"

"Have you ever heard 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'?"

"That's in the bible."

"It's a golden rule which is stated not only in the Bible, but the Talmud, the Koran, and the Analects of Confucius. Even Socrates said, 'Do to others as thou wouldst they should do to thee, and do to none other but as thou wouldst be done to.' Don't you find it interesting that line is common in so many parts of the world and at different times of history?"

"You have given me something to think about."

"If you keep hanging around with this family, you will learn more about the way of the ancient people and what Nimanitôm gave them," Jared explained. "You don't need to believe us or him, but what we ask is respect to our beliefs. For many years, people have overused the word tolerance. We've asked the dominant culture to tolerate those who are different such as the LGBT community. That has changed, we now want them to accept the differences, and respect it. They don't need to agree or participate but mere tolerance is unacceptable. Just acceptance along with respect for diversity."

"I'll consider your words Jared, and those of Nimanitôm, too. This is a lot to grasp at once."

The ancient one smiled, "Carter, you've been that way since you were young. You've always needed time to digest and think about anything you were taught at school. That's a skill which is well suited for you as a policeman." Nimanitôm made eye contact with the group of men, "Inside Carter, he has strength, integrity, and compassion which he tightly controls but isn't afraid to use when the time is right, no matter at what age." Carter's face went blank as the words were spoken by Nimanitôm. "May I bring up the prayer you said when you were twelve when you asked for help?"

"You know of that?"

"Of course I do. I answered it too."

Carter's eyes were staring at the man in awe now, "Go ahead. If they are going to be real friends, they should know the baggage I have."

Cliff took his hand into his, "I don't care what your baggage is. I love you."

Nimanitôm smiled, "That is the love which I intended." He took a breath.

"A young man of twelve who hadn't said prayers in a long time made one in desperate tears just before he went to bed one night. He wanted to know what to do after he had been cornered in the public swimming pool by an older man. The man had pushed Carter into a toilet cubicle and then took off his swimsuit. The man performed oral sex on Carter and tried to have Carter reciprocate on him. Carter refused so the man just masturbated himself. He left Carter in the cubicle after threatening his life and telling him no one would ever believe him."

Carter was sitting on the log with Cliff's arm holding him tightly, tears rolling down his face, dripping onto his chest.

"That night Carter asked 'What do I do?' Do you remember the dream that you had that night?"

"I'll never forget it. I still use it for inspiration when I'm down in the dumps."

"In his dream, Carter was sitting on a bench in an empty park, crying. He felt so alone which is why he chose an empty park. An older man walked along the paved path with a bag of bread crumbs to feed the birds. He sat down next to you and offered you some of the crumbs to feed them as well. You were scared, but something about the man put you at ease and you began talking to him. You told him about the man molesting you at the swimming pool, and the guilt you had for it happening. That pervert had made you believe you had started it, and that you wanted it."

Carter finally said, "How do you know all this? I've never told anyone..."

"Would this help?" Nimanitôm transformed into the man who had been in Carter's dream.

Carter gasped at the recognition. "It's you; you're real. Fuck me, you helped me that night." He looked down as soon as he realized what he'd said. "I apologize."

Nimanitôm returned back to as he had been, "Carter, you swore in shock. Try not to do it but if that is the worse thing in your life you'll ever do wrong, you're doing damned good." The ancient smiled at Carter.

Carter just about collapsed in shock.

Nimanitôm continued. "We sat on that bench together for a few nights in his dreams talking about what had happened. The thing which impressed me was that even back then, Carter was a cop at heart. He told me that after the man had left him crying in the cubicle, he had taken his own swimsuit, which had Carter's sperm on it and wiped up some of the man's sperm on another part of the suit. He had both of their genetic material on a swimsuit which should have neither, especially the older man's. He took it home, dried it carefully and sealed it into a used grocery paper bag."

"I'd seen it done that way on TV."

"You did well, Carter. We talked in his dreams for a few nights until Carter finally accepted he was not the problem. The man was evil and had molested him. The inner strength Carter came to the surface, giving him the ability to sit with his parents the next morning and tell them what happened before they went to work and him to school. Both had known something had happened to you, but neither were ready for what you told them."

Carter began to explain from this point. "They listened to me, never judging me. Dad asked lots of questions, but that was because he was a cop. Neither one of them ever said they didn't believe me. In fact, both of them told me that they accepted my word without proof, but it would take proof to convict the man. I ran to the bedroom and brought back the paper bag for them. When I told them what was inside, neither of them knew what to say for a few minutes. Finally, my dad told me to keep the bag with me and he would take me to speak to a plainclothes investigator at the police who dealt with people like this man all the time. As the investigation progressed, the man denied it and called me a liar. When the DNA came back, he changed his story. There were another half dozen kids from my school that came forward to say he had done the same thing to them that summer. He went to jail, and I believe he committed suicide in there."

With concern, Nimanitôm asked, "How did you feel during the time of the investigation and charges?"

"I was very lucky. My parents were very supportive of me as were a few of my friends. There were lots of rumours about me being gay and leading him on, as well as I probably liked it."

"How did you cope with that?"

"We sat on the dream bench many nights, you even played catch with a baseball some nights," Carter suddenly remembered that with a big smile. "We talked about it, and I also talked about it with the psychologist. The big thing for me to overcome was the acceptance that I was a kid, and not responsible for any part of it. Even me cumming was involuntary." Carter looked at Nimanitôm then immediately said, "Sorry. That was a bad word."

"Don't worry about it my son. Cumming, blowing a wad, and pecker snot are just words." Carter almost choked after those words had been said by Nimanitôm.

Finally, he continued the story.

"No one was supposed to know my name, but it got out in some areas. I could feel people glancing at me or staring at my back, thinking I was at fault for the whole thing. My mom and dad spent more time with me. They had always been there before, but now it was even more time. Finally, I talked to them about being gay. My father was surprised but mom had sort of suspected. It was my father who suggested we hold off announcing to the world my sexual orientation until after the trial. What he told me was that the defence might try to use it against me as part of the theory that I led him on. I had looked at my father and said, 'I like boys my own age, not 40-year-old fat men.'

He had hugged me tightly after I said it, and told me how much he loved me and how much he admired me for the way I was handling this. We told the prosecutor and the investigating officer I thought I might be gay so they weren't caught off guard if the defence discovered it and tried to use it to discredit me. They both had the opinion that I was 12 and had a few years to make a decision, and they also said, 'So what?' That didn't make me any less of a victim. Something which bothered me and it still does to this day is that some people still think all gay people are pedophiles. They can't explain women taking advantage of young men or boys, or men taking advantage of young women or girls. But if a man is gay and molests a young man or boy, all gay men are also pedophiles."

The entire group was sitting on the edge of their seats, listening to every word Carter said. Nimanitôm asked, "How did this come to an end?"

"It never really ends. Sometimes I still think about it but I know I'm not responsible for it. I'm in control of the memory and pain, he's not. When I became a policeman, I got into the investigation part of the police. I've tried to help many children and young people who've been attacked, molested, or even raped. I just give them the support that my parents and the investigators gave me. I had just finished with an investigation and being in court with few boys just before I met Cliff and Jesse. It had been a priest who had molested them. I finally managed to get them to believe that no person, regardless of who they are has the right to touch their penis or asses let alone fuck them. I spent a lot of time talking with them about consent, power, and control of a rapist, and the boys not being in control of what happened. They had also been afraid that being molested by a man would make them gay. We also spent a lot of time talking about that as well. I never once asked what their sexual orientation was because they were victims, not a willing partner with someone their age."

Nimanitôm quickly added, "Carter has had one of the highest conviction rates of sex crimes with children and young people in the country. He has earned the respect from the defence and prosecuting attorneys as well as the victims."

Carter looked to Cliff, then into the fire. "It's hard though. Even just being with everyone this weekend was an answer..." He looked up at Nimanitôm then finished the sentence with incredulity, "An answer to a prayer. Holy shit..."

"These men are my messengers, and they're here to help you. This is a safe place, the men are safe to be with, and they understand what your problems are. That is why you are here. Carter, you needed to know again that you are not alone in your time of struggles."

Carter stood and was going to step towards Nimanitôm but stopped. Then he asked, "Is it acceptable to hug you."

The ancient one opened his arms, "I love hugs from my children." Carter embraced him, then broke down crying.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Carter whispered into Nimanitôm's ear.

"It is I who must thank you for all the good you are doing. You are protecting the children from evil and making the evil ones pay. I'm very proud of the man you've become."

A few moments later, they separated. Nimanitôm thought for a moment and then looked around at the group. "By the way, there are a couple of prayers that I won't answer. I don't do purely cosmetic surgery or penis enlargement."

Patrick spoke up quickly, "So Troy, quit asking."

Troy stood, move quickly around the fire and grabbed the young man. He picked Patrick up, put him into a fireman's lift and proceeded to carry him to the end of the dock. A scream and splash were heard followed by Troy returning to his seat. He looked at Tyler, "That was your son."

Tyler quickly retorted as he pointed to where Patrick was in the water, "That's Liam's attitude and mouth. Besides that, it wasn't me. It was Mark who wanted the bigger penis."

"It wasn't me, either. It must've been Adam."

"Hey, I'm fine with what I have but I've been told Liam..."

"Oh, you're so full of porky pies you little shit!" Liam exclaimed.

Jared had returned to his seat after having changed back to his loincloth. "O husband, don't you remember the other night while we were making love when I asked if it was in yet?"

The group around the fire lost it in laughter. Liam stood up, hands on his hips and said, "I am just fine down there." He then pushed his loincloth to the ground, exposing his naked penis for his brothers to see themselves. "This is above average, I don't need any enhancement." The rest of the brothers stood up and did the same as Liam, pushing their loincloths to their ankles. They were all arguing about who had prayed for penis enlargement.

Nimanitôm sat down with the new family members. Together they all watched the brothers arguing about penis sizes. Finally, he said, "I thought this was going to be the first time other than the wedding they all had clothing on when I visited. Boy, was I wrong," he said laughing.

Cliff finally spoke, "I must have missed church the day they warned me that a group of gay guys would expose themselves to each other in front the Creator and argue about who has the largest penis." That caused their little group to start laughing.

"I actually never said any of them had prayed for penis enlargement," Nimanitôm clarified with a big smirk on his face. "I just said I don't do them." That caused even more laughter in the little group. "People need to listen to what is said better. There's a lesson for you guys. Listen to the actual words, not what you thought they said." The ancient one stared into space for a moment, "I'll have to write that down sometime." Then he changed his mind, "Never mind, it will end up as a chapter or lesson in a big book along with the author missing the entire point of the statement."

The little group sat with wide eyes at what the ancient one had just said, not sure what to say or if they should even respond. It was finally Carter who started to laugh which caused the others to look at him with both a mixture of confusion and concern. Finally, Carter said, "That, gentlemen, is sarcasm at its finest level."

Nimanitôm winked his approval at Carter. "Mathew said there's a lot of similarity between Liam and me. One day, he went to say he wasn't sure which of the two of us was more of a shit disturber, either." The little group began to laugh loudly, especially when Nimanitôm put a fake hurt look on his face.

Jett sort of held his hand up, wanting to ask a question. Nimanitôm nodded to him but also said, "Please, this is a place and time of discussion. Be respectful of others but go ahead and ask your question."

"I seriously thought that God only talked to the Pope, and he told us what we needed to know."

"Why would I do that? I know what he's going to say or what he needs. I love being with the people."

"But," Jett hesitated before finishing, "You're not what we thought you would be. I don't mean that negatively."

"Jett, If I came here tonight in lots of heavy vestments and spoke down to you, would you have even had the nerve to speak up or ask a question?"

"Probably not."

"If I had shown up in a suit, with a collar, acted very proper and professional for you guys tonight, would that create an atmosphere for you to speak up or ask questions?"

"No, sir."

"There is a time and place for formality, just as there is a time and place for informality. You are part of a special group of young men who best thrive and learn under informal circumstances, most of the time. I don't need men and women who have spent their lives studying religion to tell me what needs to be done, I have these young men to do it for me. What I also see is a group of my children right here who need my help. Please, if you want something, pray. Don't expect your concerns to be passed up the chain of command through the church like a memorandum. Pray to me directly. So, Jett, now that we're talking, give me a minute and we'll have a discussion."

"Yes, sir."

Nimanitôm snapped his fingers and all movement stopped around the fire. "Children, would go and check the kitchen to see if I laid enough food out for a bit of a midnight feast? We'll be up in a few minutes. And Conner, you and Patrick better leave some food for the rest of us."

Both young men replied with, "Yes, Chad Running Squirrel." The men all headed up to the fire except for Jared and Liam who remained near the group of new brothers.

Nimanitôm continued, "Jett, you are an incredible hockey player. Although it's ultimately your choice, it is a good career. I see a long and beneficial career for you if you take that route. You will work with disadvantaged youth offseason, giving them hope. You will be an inspiration to both straight and other LGBTQ2 people as it continues to come out of the shadows and be accepted by the dominant culture. Your father will stand by your side the entire time, beaming with pride at his son who happens to be gay."

Jett's eyes had tears rolling out of them and own his cheeks. Nikita put his arm over the young man's shoulders, comforting him.

"Some night I will drop in and have a chat with you, Jett. We can discuss why it was necessary for you to be allowed to almost die so that things ended up correctly."

"You would do that?"

"Of course I would. You're all important to me. By the way, you will meet a tall and incredibly good looking young man who could become your husband after a rocky period of boyfriend status. But, both of you are worth it if that is the path you choose."

"Thank you."

Nimanitôm turned to Cliff. "You will have a good sweat tomorrow and meet your spirit guide. Once you've done that it will explain many things about how you became the man you are today. Please, keep Jesse on his toes."

"I will sir."

"Colt, please come forward and sit cross-legged in front of me." The young man did it. Nimanitôm raised his hands skyward, his eyes becoming pure white as he chanted in the ancient language. He brought his hands down, grasping Colt on each side of his head level with the ears. He continued to chant until Colt's eyes began to turn white. Finally, Nimanitôm said one word with such power the ground shook beneath everyone. "Remember." Colt snapped out of the ancient one's grip, his eyes intensifying in brightness.

"I remember. I now understand what I had been denying all those years."

"Good. Colt, you will meet your spirit guide tomorrow and the two of you shall grow under the guidance of the family here."

"I understand, Niottsi."

"Jared will show you how to travel to the middle world where you can not only visit your grandfather but he can teach you so very much."

Colt's eyes returned to normal as he stared at Niottsi, "Thank you. Thank you for forgiving me of my past mistakes and helping me back on the path I should've been for many years."

"It is what we do. You are the example of someone who didn't want help, but we kept trying. In some cases, we lose the people who don't want help to the evil one. Ekosi, it is what it is."

He looked at Trevor and motioned for both him and Nikita to come and sit where Colt had been. "Trevor, you are an incredible young man who has overcome so much in his life. Even today, you don't have a lot but you're happy with everything you have. The two of you have each other and you will have successful and fulfilling lives. The unusual part here is that you have memories buried within you Trevor, just like Nikita does. In fact, they are both from the same origins. You two have been friends and even lovers in the past many times. Did you notice when you met each other it was very unusual what you knew of each other?"

Both young men nodded.

"That's why. It is the exact same reason that you picked up Russian so easily because you already knew it. You and Nikita have been together for a long time and will be into the future. I want you to hold hands. Then be ready to grasp my hands when I nod to you."

Nimanitôm raised his hands skyward, his eyes becoming pure white as he chanted in the ancient language. He brought his hands down, grasping a hand from each Nikita and Trevor. He continued to chant until both of the young men's eyes began to turn white. Finally, Nimanitôm said one word with such power the ground shook beneath everyone again. "Remember." The two young men snapped out of the ancient one's grip, their eyes intensifying in brightness.

Nimanitôm smiled as both young men spoke in ancient Mongolian, "I remember."

"You will also learn from the members of this family. You are all now messengers of good." The young men joined the others sitting on the logs again. Nimanitôm snapped his fingers, and the tattoo of the bear paw appeared on the chest of those who didn't have it already. "You are also members of this family, my children. You will need to complete your spirit quest yet and that will unlock more gifts or power within you." He looked up at Jett, "You will have a gift come to the surface before you leave here this weekend. Use it with the honour and integrity you have lived your life with so far." He turned to Jared, "Teach him the ways, and the rules of use." Jared nodded.

Nimanitôm stood, "Why don't we all go up and participate in the feast."

Everyone was sitting around the huge table in the kitchen and dining room area, chatting in little groups while drinking tea and finishing off their slice of cheesecake. Nimanitôm had declined to sit at the head of the table as Jared had requested, instead choosing to sit in the middle along one of the sides. He also asked Jared to consider that the table was an oval, a flattened circle. No matter where he sat, everyone was equal around the table in the oval with no head or foot, no one in front of or behind. Everyone was equal. Jared had smiled after considering it.

Nimanitôm stood, asking for everyone's attention. "I have a small gift for someone," he said as he walked around the table, coming to a stop behind Trevor. The Ancient One put his hands on each shoulder, his eyes flashed, then Nimanitôm simply said "It is done" as he began to walk back to his chair.

"Excuse me, sir, what was it you did to me?"

"You'll discover it over time Trevor."

"I'm sorry sir, but I'm respectfully asking you now. I can't do anything to force someone like you, but to ignore a simple request from a timid little gay kid..." Nimanitôm smiled, Trevor returned with a smile of his own. "I'm going to guess that I'm not as timid as I was as before plus I feel more self-positive with confidence."

"Trevor, you're correct but I may have to adjust it."

"I like it."

Zane held his hand up, "I'm his boss. I'll let you know how it works in a couple of weeks."

Trevor smirked as he said, "Can we talk next week about a pay raise for Nikita and myself?"

"Nimanitôm, I'm already pretty sure an adjustment is required."

The ancient one smirked, "Rome wasn't built in a day..."

Zane smirked back him, "Rome wasn't built in a day, but if you recall the earth was."

Nimanitôm stared at Zane for a long moment with a big smirk before turning his head slightly to catch Trevor within his peripheral vision. As soon as he was, the brief flash of his eyes told the story of an adjustment having been made. "Ok, I've made an adjustment." Then he smirked again, "Rome wasn't built in a day, but I wasn't the contractor either."

Zane laughed, "Touché."

Nimanitôm turned to the group seated around the table. "This is for the benefit of the young ones joining your tribe Jared, and a review for the older members of the tribe as well."

The ancient one began to glow white, increasing until people had to avert their eyes from the intensity. When the light began to recede, Nimanitôm was dressed in the traditional clothing of the highest ranking Medicine and Shaman. It was the first time the new brothers had ever seen him this way and were awestruck. Nimanitôm stood at 6'6", dressed in beautiful white-coloured deer hide clothing. He had a 7-foot staff which was lined with eagle feathers symbolizing the many honours he had been given. On his head was the fur and skin of a white bison, complete with the face and horns looking down at the people in front of him. From each of the horns hung amulets of bear claws as well as eagle feathers. His jacket was white, with a long frill along the bottom of the sleeves and down each side of the chest to the waist. The leggings were white as well, again with long tassels down each side. The beadwork on the jacket represented the spirit guide animals of the earth. On his back across the shoulder blades was a beautiful representation of the sun rising on one side of a mountain and the moon setting on the other side. His face now bore the markings of a chief. The thing which struck everyone at the table was the change in the air of authority. Chad Running Squirrel had come to discuss, solve issues, and educate the members of the tribe. The air and perception of him now was that Nimanitôm was in absolute control.

The ancient one began to speak again. "The only thing which is expected of you is to live your lives the best you can. We all know what happened to Jared and Liam when they didn't take time for themselves to heal properly; we almost lost them both. My children, you are needed for the long term, not just the short. Look out for each other, especially during stressful times. You're a tribe which functions as a lodge of beaver, not a bunch of mice each looking for their own needs. Does everyone understand that you must literally look out for your brothers? Do we understand this my children?"

The men all responded with "Yes, Nimanitôm."

"I expect you to love other people openly and honestly while at the same time being as kind to everyone as you can. But, never confuse that with weakness. Love and kindness may need to be backed up by force when no other options exist."

"The rules I gave to mankind are reasonably simple to follow:

Remain close to the Great Spirit, in all that you do.

Treat the Earth and all that dwell thereon with respect.

Show great respect for your fellow beings.

Work together for the benefit of all Mankind.

Give assistance and kindness wherever needed.

Do what you know to be right, but do not to fall into self-righteousness.

Look after the well-being of mind and body.

Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good.

Be truthful and honest at all times, but especially be truthful and honest with yourself.

Take full responsibility for your actions.

Do we understand this?"

"Yes, Nimanitôm."

Nimanitôm smiled, "Tyler my son, come forward." Without hesitation he came forward, falling to one knee with his head bowed. "Tyler, please rise, my son." The young man did so. "When you have finished regaining your strength and healing your spirit, I would ask that you return to the role of the peacemaker which are suited for. It is your choice, but when the time comes, I ask you to consider it carefully."

"Nimanitôm, I am honoured you gave me counsel in this. I've made the decision already with the intention to return to the role of a peacemaker."

The ancient one motioned for Jared to stand and take control of his staff. He reached under his beautiful white deerskin jacket, retrieving a five rowed buffalo bone choker with an arrowhead hanging from it. He held it in his two hands with the necklace fully stretched so the others at the table could see it.

"As you are now a peacemaker, you have earned the honour of the necklace of that position. This choker was made in the ancient times by the first son of Peacemaker Most Sacred Burrowing Fox of the western tribes. It took him nine months of work to form the buffalo bones, porcupine quills, oak wood, and flint into this choker." He leaned forward to place and connect it around Tyler's neck. The ancient one stepped back, then snapped his fingers three times. Three eagle feathers fluttered down from above him in his waiting open hand.

The first one he presented to Tyler, "For the endurance of injustice, but showing that truth will still defeat it." Tyler had tears forming in his eyes.

"Patrick, come forward." The young man almost stumbled over his chair as tried to respond quickly. The young man went down to one knee, his head lowered. "Rise Fast Runner. I present this to you for standing not only with Tyler who was the target of injustice but also with Jett who was a victim in other ways. You were in the middle, managing the problem very well, a valuable skill for leaders to use." The ancient one paused for a moment, then added, "Especially in potential roles in your future." Patrick also had tears escaping his eyes. It did not go unnoticed by Nimanitôm when the young man's hand sought the hand of his mentor, Tyler. The moment they made contact, they grasped each other's hands tightly.

"Jett, come forward." The young man was absolutely terrified that he had been called forward. He moved quickly around the table, assuming the same position on the floor he had seen the other two take. "This feather is for you. You were a victim of a different kind in this event, but you never betrayed truth, honour, and integrity as the world came apart for Tyler. You stood by him, never wavering. That is the sign of a true hero. From this day forward, you shall be known as 'Walks Steadfast with Honour on Ice' and you will be taught the Cree words to say it." Jett now also had tears rolling down his cheeks. Once again, Nimanitôm noticed that Jett's hand closest to Patrick had been searching for his friend's hand. Both of them had firmly gripped each other the moment contact had been made.

Nimanitôm motioned for them to return to their seats. He also presented feathers to Liam, Jared, Troy and Conner for their work at the bus accident. In front of Jared, two oak boxes appeared. He asked for the boxes and feathers inside to be presented to Melanie and Kat for their work as well.

The ancient one raised his hand, palm upwards. Surprising everyone was a caterpillar crawling across his hand. "My children, this is one of the most powerful messenger guides which could be sent to you with a lesson." The caterpillar was moving along Nimanitôm's hand steadily. The insect was just under 2-inches in length and hypnotizing as it progressed to the end of his index finger. The caterpillar was very distinct with its white, yellow, and black transverse bands along the entire length of its body. At each end, two tentacles were obvious, something which might confuse a predator trying to catch it unprepared from behind. When it reached the end of the ancient one's finger, the caterpillar used half of its body to stand up. The ancient one continued, "This little guy is not only a work of colourful art but is also very, very strong." Nimanitôm turned to look at the men sitting around the table. "This caterpillar will disappear into a cocoon and change into a beautiful butterfly when it emerges. No other life form does this, and it provides an important lesson for us."

The little insect on his hand nodded to the ancient one, then positioned itself so that it was hanging down from his finger. The caterpillar began to cover itself with its cocoon at an accelerated speed. "My children, the caterpillar transforms from one lifeform to another. It tells us that the shedding of an old life to accept a new one is possible at any time. The caterpillar's change is miraculous, and the changes within the cocoon are amazing. It must develop and grow to a certain stage before it can come back out. That is just like you must learn and become enlightened before you can shed the old life for a new one. The butterfly has a simple message for delivery to you my children, something I encourage every one of you to think about in the sweat tomorrow. Shedding the past..." The butterfly began to emerge from the cocoon. It walked up to the palm of the ancient one's hand, tested its wings, then flew away. "Shedding the past... to transform into everything you were meant to be with a fresh start."

With everything said or done, the ancient one blessed the tribe, fading away from sight afterwards.

End of Chapter Fifty-Five

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Help lines:

Canada:

·Canada Suicide Prevention Service (CSPS), French or English: toll-free 1-833-456-4566 Available 24/7

·Crisis Text Line (Powered by Kids Help Phone) Canada Wide free, 24/7 texting service is accessible immediately to youth anywhere in Canada by texting TALK to 686868 to reach an English speaking Crisis Responder and TEXTO to 686868 to reach a French-speaking Crisis Responder on any text/SMS enabled cell phone.

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United States:

·LGBT National Hotline 1-888-843-4564

·National Hope Helpline at 1-800-784-2433

·National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

·The TREVOR Project for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth 1-866-488-7386

US Veterans – First, after dialing the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255 then pressing "1" will get one directly to people trained to help Veterans. Veterans (or those helping them) can also send a text message to 838255.

Here's a link to the Veterans' Suicide Prevention page – it also has a link for chatting on line.

https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/suicide_prevention/