Date: Sun, 29 Apr 2007 08:38:58 +0000 From: Jack Smith Subject: New Beginnings 15 WEEK FIFTEEN THIRDAY Yet another day in my prison. My friends brought me food, snuck me out at night to bathe and to enjoy some company. Wi-Su had returned to NewTown, setting forth from KingsTown as soon as he had heard of Father's death, and visited me daily on the excuse of looking at his collection. My love for him helped me survive, and my happiest moments passed in his company, and the company of his family. I was treated like a son, and despite what Father had done to Wi- Su, I was treated with love and respect. All kept my secret. The children acted as couriers because they could move around unnoticed. It then occurred to me that something had woken me. The morning was early and it was near dark outside still. Then another little noise convinced me that there was someone outside. I quietly picked up my sword and crept to the door, then burst out with it raised. To my surprise it was Loa-Lech that I found, crouching behind some scrap timber trying to stay hidden. "Hello," I initiated. "So, it is you here hiding. Spawn of that scum!" The virulence surprised me. And I feared too, for if that was how he felt he would promptly report me to the King's army that now occupied NewTown. "Why did you come?" "I saw Wi-Su's children running off carrying packages all the time. Thought it was strange and decided to investigate. And look what I found!" "Yes. Your old friend." "Friend! Filthy traitor!" and he spat at me. "What will you do?" I now feared for Wi-Su as well. For if he reported me he would report Wi-Su also. "I'll report you." "You aren't man enough to deal with me yourself!" I said with as much sneer as I could. "You're not the only one here that entered manhood. I also had my birthday and I'm a natural with a sword. I'll deal with you now!" With that he charged at me. It smote my heart the ease with which I killed him. I only had to fend one blow. I could have wounded him, but it would have made things worse. He would have me and my followers killed. And if he was wounded I didn't think I could have killed him in cold blood. So there he lie now, lifeless at my feet. My sadness overflowed. I had to leave. I dragged him into the shed, then through morning shadows I made my way to the house of Wi-Su. I quickly told him what had happened and what I planned, and, borrowing his son's coat, I continued to the house of Yue-Sin. I outlined my plan to him and Yue-Lin. They agreed. Yue-Sin fitted me out as a guard so my last leg through increasing light would be less noticeable. The package of food that I had requested of Wi-Su was waiting behind the stables. Yue-Sin hoisted me up to the first spike and now I just had to hope that no one looked up during the short time till I climbed to the top off the cliff. Luck was with me. I scampered away from the cliff edge and stopped to rest. The rendezvous point with Yue-Lin was at our pool, his child status still allowing him to travel to freely. I hoped no one paid attention to his movements. I would then return to the road wearing his clothes, hoping to find Kito tied up in the ravine on the far side of the river, while he would wait till night to descend by the spikes. If asked, Hi-Tui would say that Yue-Lin had returned before siesta. I ate and drank a little, then scouted my way amongst the virgin scrub above the town. It was hard work, and I wasn't exactly sure where the track that lead to the pool went to after the sidetrack to the pool branched from it. But I had a good idea of the distance, so eventually I found it. I swam quickly to clean my scratches and sweat then found myself a possie where I could watch the clearing unseen. Embarrassedly I was woken from a doze by the noisy entry of Yue-Lin into the clearing. This alerted me, as did his just visible head shake, and I remained where I was clocking an arrow in my cross bow. Yue-Lin stood with his head cocked for a while, then undressed. Just as he got naked a fat man in the King's armour burst into the clearing. "What are you doing little one," he said in an ugly voice. "Showing that white arse to the daylight. I think you want it filled, don't you. The way you waggled it at me!" He grabbed Yue-Lin roughly by the shoulder and pushed him to the ground. "Get on your belly!" Yue-Lin let the man push him, falling as if thrown but in fact in control. Enough to give me another little head shake. I hoped, as Yue-Lin had spotted me, that the big, ugly guard would not spot me also. But he seemed too interested in the job at hand. He dropped his trousers to reveal a thick, hard cock, then fell on top of Yue-Lin without pause. Even as he pushed around to find Yue-Lin's arse, and even through the screwed up face with the pain of him entering, Yue-Lin kept shaking at me. So I held my arrow. The big animal puffed and thrust, but thankfully for Yue-Lin quickly released his seed. But then I saw a flash of light on metal as he grabbed his knife, I assume to open the throat of Yue-Lin so it wouldn't speak of his deed. It was then I let my arrow fly. The man had not removed his helmet, but I still managed to pick his eye. His weight dropped heavily onto Yue-Lin. I sprang up and rolled him off. Yue-Lin was up and angry. "Why did you do that? He would have gone and we could have continued our plan. Even safer as I was identified clearly by him." I then showed him the hand that still limply clutched a knife and Yue-Lin dropped his head. "Ah, sorry. I should know better than to doubt you. That was a good shot!" "Hi-Tui is a good teacher!" "I see. Thankyou for saving my life." "Thankyou for saving mine!" "OK, so we're even. Now, are you going to get that gear off and come for a swim?" It was not long before we were in the ferns in our 69 position. I had not thought of sex since Father died, but now the youth of Yue-Lin had woken me I was ready to fire quite a few times. We slept a little in the afterglow, but I was anxious to be on my way. We had weighted the guard with rocks in addition to the already considerable weight of his armour so it did not seem conceivable that he would surface anytime soon, but I assumed at sometime he would be missed and an alarm would be raised. Maybe as soon as siesta. Yue-Lin farewelled me with a large hug and, to my surprise, a long kiss. "Goodbye Cavon," he said softly. I may never see you again, but remember that I love you!" "And I you, Yue-Lin." I waved till I was out of sight, then raced down the track. I was for the first time for weeks unworried about being seen. Children often ran and did exuberant things, so my buoyancy would pass unnoticed. I wanted to get to Kito as quickly as I could, then hide until dark. I had finally decided on my destination, but I feared that if I did not hurry it would be gone before I arrived. Rumours said that the King had asked the Space Visitors to leave, and I wanted to catch up with William and hold him to his promise. I had reached the decision that the only safe place for me was off this planet. Which I had only recently discovered was something that could be left by means other than death. My luck was holding as I crossed the bridge during the confusion of field workers returning for siesta. It was a time of movement in both directions, as people returned across the river looking for friends or spouses, or things they had forgotten. I managed to scamper away to the ravine, where I found Kito tied, saddle bags filled with food and clothing. The road this side of the river was almost never used. The wooden bridge that had been constructed to replace the ancient bridge that had crossed the ravine was old and in disrepair. It had been the route for logging trailers, but this area was now pretty much logged out and timber getters went further afield upriver. I remembered a shallow crossing down stream where I thought I could get back across, and decided that I would be best served using this deserted road now than waiting for dark to cross back to the main road. There might even be patrols there when it was discovered that a guard was missing as well as a young man. I carefully moved downstream with Kito till I was sure that no one would observe me, then mounted him and put him into a canter. Feeling my home dwindle within me as it dwindled behind me. I had swapped my mantle of adulthood with Yue-Lin and in truth I felt I had returned to childhood, helpless and without guidance. A little boy on a horse too big for him. I felt like I should cry but I was so empty and dry that nothing came out other than some painfully wracking sobs. Kito slowed, seemingly puzzled by the noise and lack of guidance. "Go on boy. Go on. Don't stop." SIXDAY Dirty from sleeping in the bush, scratching from bites of countless insects that had plagued me the nights previous, I looked like the beggar man I was pretending to be. I eyed the encampment of the Space People. It seemed that they were indeed doing as the King had demanded. I was surprised. I thought that if anyone could stand up to the King it would be these people. But like all the world they were running at His word. The difficulty was that a barrier had been erected around the vessel of the Space People. It wasn't visible, but I had seen people bounce against the barrier and come away rubbing their shoulders or heads. The Space People seemed to know where it was, and kept clear. So how was I going to pass? There was very little left of the small town that had been constructed around the space vessel, so I assumed it would not be long before they were gone. I did not have much time. I don't know why I felt so much fear. Travelling alone for 3 days I had lost all will to live, the last drop leaving when I gave Kito a smack on his rump and sent him on his way. If I was found and handed over to the King - what did it matter? My death would just come a bit sooner, my life be a bit shorter. No one cared. No one could stand by me, even if they wanted. But still I slunk in secret places, some instinct of self-preservation driving me on. I decided that I would approach at a quiet segment of the barrier, where a Space Person was working. Pretending a purpose that would take me near some timber boxes I headed toward the barrier, unfortunately finding it rather painfully. The Space Person on the other side looked up at my grunt and smiled apologetically. She was a friendly looking woman, though it was not clear what she was doing. She just seemed to be standing and looking around, with various moving things running around doing this and that, packing things up. I took a breath and took the step I had planned. "I would like to see William," I said in the form of Galactic I had learnt. The woman looked at me strangely. I don't know whether she didn't understand me, or if she wondered why I would be talking to her. So I repeated, "I would like to see William." This time she responded, some sort of clarification showing in her face, and it was my turn to not understand. The only word that came through was "William". "Yes, William," I repeated eagerly. She seemed to realise that I wasn't understanding her, and after closing her eyes briefly she said just one word. "Wait." And walked away. I felt very exposed, but had no choice. I moved away a little and sat on the ground, leaning against a wooden crate. I tried to act like I was a beggar. I had heard about beggars, though we had none in NewTown. People without home, without owner, without money, without work. I hung my head and put out my hand, though still keeping in sight the compound of the Space People. My patience was eventually rewarded when the easily distinguishable massive form of William appeared. I rose rapidly to my feet, forgetting all about my disguise. "William", I called, arms waving. He came towards me, stopping before the invisible barrier which I again found only through a painful collision. "What do you want?" he asked blandly in our language. My heart sank. He was going to deny me. I was going to be left to wander the land as an outcast, shrinking from view of all honest men. "Father was killed by the King. Mother was killed by the King and raped, alive and dead, by his thugs. I will be killed if I am found. Help me please!" He looked as if he was going to turn away. The tears that had been dry flowed again, silently. My head hung despondently, my eyes on the ground. "Oh, come on then. I'm sorry. Get in. I shouldn't be doing this, but I did promise Srotyr. Your lucky the Chief is a soft touch otherwise I wouldn't get away with breaking regulations." "How?" I managed to stammer. "Just walk through - the field is open for you here." He indicated a space in front of him, a space where I had just painfully whacked my head. I looked at it doubtfully. "Come on!" So I cautiously took a step, then another, and another, and I was by his side. "Now, come with me. You are filthy. We must get you cleaned up so you present a prettier sight for the Chief!" His steps were so large that I had to run to keep up. I followed him up a ramp into the Space Vessel, then along a corridor, through a room where a number of Space People interrupted what they were doing (not that it was clear what they were doing) to pass a questioning look after me, and into a small room, a sliding panel closing behind us. I had heard of these magics, had seen things in the hut, but experiencing them was another thing. My knees began to tremble. As well as a funny sick feeling in my stomach, which just as suddenly stopped as it started. The sliding panel opened onto a corridor, but I soon realised it was not the same corridor. I continued to trot behind him till he ushered me into another room, bigger than the last. I waited for the sick feeling to hit again after the door shut but nothing happened. "This is it," said William. Not much for two to share, but if you are to come with me you have to stay here. Now get yourself clean so you can meet the Chief." I looked around, lost. There was nothing other than a bench with some items of doubtful use in the room. "Come on, get your gear off - the sanitizer is there." A space appeared in the wall, with a small cubicle behind it. "Now, we can't be shy in a small room like this, get on with it," he said to my continued immobility. I don't know if I had been feeling shy. All self respect was largely gone. I simply was stunned. Despite my experience in the hut, I felt overwhelmed. I took off my dirty clothes, without thought holding them out to William not knowing what else to do. He gestured to a space that had appeared in the wall. I then walked into the cubicle that appeared from behind another opening panel. It shut behind me, my heart pattering staccato. I awaited the nausea, but instead a signal to spread my legs appeared on a panel, a strange light enveloped me, and a tingling. A feeling that my hair was standing up followed by my envelopment in a dense mist that penetrated everywhere, then a warm breeze. The panel sprang open. "That looks better. There was a human being under the dirt! Now, put these on and we go and see the chief." In his hands were what appeared to be my clothes, but cleaner and newer looking than they had ever been. "Are these mine?" "No. They are replicas made from the same material as all our ship clothes." "How?" I asked. This was not to be the first time I was to use this word when talking to William. This time he did not try to satisfy my urge for knowledge. "Too complicated. Not now. Come." Again I found myself racing behind him along corridors. That I could not see from where the light came that allowed me to see where I was going was just one more marvel. The walls, floor and ceiling were featureless. A panel opened ahead though, and I was ushered in front of a person sitting at a desk. The hair was short, but the face was of a young woman. "OK boy," said William, "bow to the chief." Affronted by the `boy' I froze, staring her in the face. A female chief? William smacked me on the back of the head and I bent forward. The `chief' spoke to me. I understood bits. I understood "why", "danger". I shook my head. Then she started speaking in the galactic I had learnt. "Why are you in danger, young man?" "The King wants me dead." "You seem very young for someone to be concerned about." "I am the son of his illegitimate half brother." "I see. He doesn't want anyone who could challenge him. But why does he fear challenge." "He is a evil man. He rules by fear and death." The `chief' looked at William, who in turn looked at me, before speaking in my tongue. "Tell how the current King murdered his father to take the throne, and why." Why he couldn't do so I didn't know. I was also ignorant of why she didn't already know. She must have ordered her people to leave. But I suspected this was my only chance of being allowed to stay, if I said the right thing. "Mam," I started, not sure how to address her. "My Father was the illegitimate son of the old King. He was the old King's favourite. He was a good and honest man. The King was sick and the Prince was awaiting his death to take control. If the King died and the Prince took control legitimately he knew he could not be challenged. But the old King feared that the Prince was poisoning him. It was why he welcomed your presence. He thought you could save him. And if you did the certainty that the Prince had of becoming King was gone. The Prince became desperate. He secretly killed the King and assumed the throne. But he knew that he was not safe, so he also ordered the death of my Father and Mother, as well as myself, and I suspect anyone else who might have dared to question his Kingship. If you had not arrived my Father would still be alive, still be Lord of NewTown. I would still be safe." "Ah, now I understand." The chief nodded her head. "I had left the local politics to people like William. We were called so I assumed we were wanted. This for sure the impression the King gave us. Now I understand. But who called us?" "I don't know Mam," I lied. Again she looked at William for a moment, then back at me. "You can stay. I must let you know though that this is quite irregular." She looked at William, nodded a dismissal. William turned as the panel opened and I scampered behind him after getting out, "Thankyou Mam." When we got back to William's room he stood in front of me. "I'm going to regret this, I'm sure. From what your father said you are a bright kid, and I certainly owe him one. He was a wonderful fuck. And an impressive man. Now, the conditions that you are under. You sleep in this room with me. Which means the floor or share my bed. You can go to the mess room and the gym. Everything else is off limits. You can use the computer. Now, little Asian boys are not my taste, so I think you get the floor. You know, there is nothing in you of your Father." It was too much. Tears started streaming down my face. This huge hairy man was talking to me like a field worker. I should have stayed in my world, taken my chances under conditions I understood. "I'll go back, Sir, if you prefer," I sobbed. I felt so unmanned, so ridiculous, but I could not control it. "Now, now. I'm sorry I was so gruff. Look, I was very fond of your Father. I think I would have started to love him if there had been more time. Even after just a few visits I feel his loss. Not like you I guess, but I feel it and I'll remember him. I guess that hurt is why I am gruff, not only the inconvenience of having you around. And don't take that personal, I don't know you yet and I may change my mind. I'm a softy too. I must be, or you wouldn't be here. Now, where did you learn that ancient galactic you speak?" I explained about the hut, the houseputer. William whistled. "So, it was you who called us in! Canny, very canny, not to mention that to the chief. She would not have been impressed being lead to this wild goose chase by a child!" "I AM NOT A CHILD. I AM 13 WEEKS INTO MANHOOD!" "OK, OK. It's nothing personal. I know you guys become men young, but in our society people don't classify as an adult until they are 18. And you are what, 14?" "I am 6." "Yes, your years are rather long. Just over 14. Do you know how old I am?" William's tone had warmed and softened. "You look about the same age as Father." "Yes, I have made myself look older than most people. Your father was about 40 I think." "20." "Almost 47 then. That is the age that was fashionable with gay men 100 years ago. I grew up into it and it is still the only thing that turns me on. Masculine men who look to be 40 or so years old. Like your father. It has made me a lonely man. The fashion now is to look 25, tall, un-athletic and limp wrested. I am 123 years old. Still quite young." "123!" "How old do you think the chief is?" he asked with a roguish smile. I had worked out the mathematics, so I moved to galactic years. "22." "Try 530 or thereabouts." "530!" "I know, it is all a bit beyond your grasp. This is a very primitive planet. Look, you're used to a computer. I'll fix you up with a head set and you can get a crash course on the society you are going to be entering. And learn some up to date galactic as well." I was getting somewhat used to panels opening by now - this was a little one, and all it had behind it was a black cap like thing. "Put it on. But sit down first." I almost fell over as a bench protruded from a wall. "How do all these things happen?" "Put it on. You'll find out." So I did. I learnt so much I felt I couldn't take it all in. The process was very different than that of the houseputer. Quicker, gentler, more thorough. It only seemed minutes later that my vision cleared and I was again in the room. William was chewing on something, and smiling. "You are one bright boy. What a shame you were not found just that bit younger so an implant could have been fitted. You would have had a very bright future. Your ability index is in the top 0.001% of the known galaxy!" I knew what an implant was. It was something fitted to the brains of infants and slightly older children that allowed them a direct link with computers. Via the computers people could talk to each other with just thoughts, could manipulate all objects controlled by computers. Which on this ship was everything. But my brain cells were too mature to be induced to grow into the implant, and an attempt was more likely to damage me than to be successful. I also knew I had moved to a society where age was a meaningless thing due to anti-aging medications, where children were rarities and generally kept out of sight. And I knew there was little place in this society for a person without an implant. "Now, you must be hungry and tired. Let's go and have something to eat and you can meet some of my friends." I ratted down corridors and up a lift in chase of William once again. Chasing after William's bear like form seemed to be my new role in life! The mess room was small, only a few tables and wall dispensers filled it. It was plain and utilitarian. There were no set meal times, and many people ate in their cabins, William told me when I asked why. William's friends were waiting for us, an assortment of body shapes and sexes. Somehow I had thought that they would all be like William, but instead one had black skin, one white, one sort of brown but different to my colour. And one who looked more like the people I knew, but was still different. None were very interested in me, but were polite and they chatted out loud for my benefit, though I was sure much went on silently as well for there were many chuckles and smirks that appeared unrelated to the words I could hear. The food was unlike anything I had experienced. Flavours and textures unknown to me. Looking at what others were eating, I beheld a variety that bewildered. As we returned I asked William if there was any way I could link in with the ship and the other people. I could wear a cap, similar to what I had worn when the computer was teaching me, but set so that it would only allow access to the computer and not dominate all my senses. It wouldn't be the same, but I could control the machines, and communicate to a limited degree. "I will see about it when we wake", he said as we entered his cabin. In a movement that was totally automatic William ran his finger down the front of his ship suit, causing it to fall open and off, and stepped naked into the sanitizer. "Follow after me to clean your teeth," he said before the door closed. His hairy form brought back images of Father, reinvigorating pain that had never abated. "Get your gear off and get in," said William on exiting moments later. I did what I was told, coming out to find a mattress and bedding had appeared on the floor in my brief absence, and to find William lying unashamedly naked on a bed that had appeared in the wall. "Goodnight," he said as I lay down and the lights dimmed to nothing. Behind my closed eyes appeared the brief image I had just glimpsed before the light diminished of William prone on his bed. The knife buried in my heart twisted viciously, and tears poured out in painful sobs. I was crying for everything, for Father and Mother, for Loa-Lech, for Wi-Su, for Yue-Sin, for me. I must have been making a lot of noise for William rolled over and spoke. "OK boy. I can imagine you are feeling very alone. Would being here with me help?" I didn't know if it would help, but it sounded better than lying alone. In moments I was lying cradled in his big arms, his beard tickling the back of my neck, his belly warming my back. I let myself think it was Father, even though he didn't exude the masculine aroma of Father, and sighed, as content as I had felt since that dreadful night in the house of Ti-Lung. Exhausted I slept. SHIP LIFE I woke to a dark room and lay still, listening to breathing, feeling warm breath on my neck. After a bit I became aware of a hard dick prodding my arse. It must have been this that woke me. Thinking that Father was hard in his sleep, I reached behind me and held his thick dick. I closed my eyes and stroked and pulled it gently, moving its skin up and down, being subtle, wondering that it felt different. This was rewarded by William's rolling away, muttering as he turned, "Leave off kid. Let me sleep." And my realisation of where I was. I shrivelled and died. Morning was a doubtful phenomenon. William woke me so that he could get up. The room was brightly lit, unchanged from when we went to bed. When he was on his feet William turned to face me, his morning hard dick pointing incriminatingly. "Do you always grab men's cocks without asking?" he inquired. Without thought, beyond caring, I answered dejectedly. "I'm sorry. I thought I was with Father." "Why would you think that?" "I often would wake during the night and find him hard against me." "And you would touch him?" "Yes. If he woke we would make love." "You slept with your Father?" "Once I entered manhood. Not before." "Manhood. Age 14?" "Six." "If I didn't know the honour and goodness of that man you call Father, I would have just have formed a very bad impression of him. Is that normal in your society, for a man to have sex with his child?" "I'm sorry sir, I don't know. It seemed normal to me." "I guess you knew no different. In my research on your culture I did not come across reference to the habit, but the nobility were very closed to me. The morals of the nobility in primitive societies are often more lax than that of the peasants." "Father didn't have lax morals!" William paused before replying, examining my face closely. "I know. I commented he was a honourable man." He scrutinised me a bit longer, then asked, "Do I remind you of your father?" "Yes, in some ways. He was big and hairy. He smelt different though." "More like a man?" "Ah.." I stumbled, thinking I was going to offend. "It's ok. We don't have that same masculine smell that the people of your world have. I'm sure to your nose I smell, maybe you could say, soft?" "Yes, more like a woman." "Men use scent where I grew up, and I still do. Only women in your society use scent, no? I nodded. "Now, I need to drain this thing," he said, indicating his still rigid cock and in the same movement turning spinning it out of view. He walked at the wall, in the location of the sanitiser, and the wall opened just in time to accept him. I looked down, seeing my own hard dick, not realising it had been up. "He must think I want him," I thought. I didn't know what I felt. I think I felt dead, but seemingly my dick was not part of me. I stared vacantly into space, surprised when the wall opened and William appeared, now soft. "Are you hungry?" he asked? "I think I should leave." "My lad, the time for that decision is way gone. We are millions of kilometres from your planet and I don't think our captain would be happy to turn around just to send you home." "I have no home." My look must have been very bleak for he stepped toward me and lifted me from the bed. With hands resting on my shoulders he looked me in the eyes. "This is your home now, till you move out into the world. Think of me as your father if you wish, though I will be maybe more traditional than your father." This was said with a gentle smile. "We will get to know each other very well, as you will be with me until you are at least 18. It will be a new experience for me, having a son." "I hope it will not be an unpleasant experience!" I said, with all the bitterness I can mutter. "My lad, just because I don't want sex with you doesn't mean I can't appreciate you. By now, from the level of culture from which have come, with what you have lived through, you should be a quivering mess on the floor. Instead you stand up to me and give lip, perceptive lip at that. No boy, I don't believe it will be an unpleasant experience, and I'm sure I'm going to learn a lot." "I'm not a boy!" I repeated stupidly. "Hmm. I think we've had this discussion." "Fight me and I'll prove it!" "Fight you. Someone your size against someone my size? Look, you've only just started getting hair around your cock, what chance do you think you have against a 123 year old biosculpured man?" "Fight me or I'll think you're a coward!" I felt everything screwed up inside me in a violent maelstrom. Images flashing around, brutal and bloody. But my analytical self was still functioning. He was a big man, but he was also a soft man, not trained in fighting. I could see by the way he stood that he would be slow to respond. With a sword in my hand I could despatch him in seconds, bare handed it would take longer, but Yue-Sin had trained me well and I knew I could take him. "OK. If it is what you want. What are the rules?" "First to the ground loses." Suddenly all the furniture disappeared and we were left in an empty cube, but with padded walls and floor. William, his shaggy body crouched in what he must have felt was a battle stance, came at me in a rush. I stepped just as he came near and took his feet out from under him with a swift kick, sprawling him on the ground. He looked up with a ruthful grin. "Well, I guess I had better stop calling you boy. But I think you were lucky and I was underestimating you. Best of three?" he asked as he climbed to his feet. I nodded, never letting my focus fade. "But you attack me. That was my disadvantage." I nodded again and came at him. I faked, faked again, and while he was realising that the first move was a fake and was starting to respond to the second I again took out his legs. This time he looked up at me and laughed out loud, a sound of joy and wonder. Hearing his laughter made me more aware of the lack of it within me and I snapped once again as I had lying on my bed on the floor last night. Tears streamed down my face, rivulets of a grief so deep that it felt without bottom. "Hey, come to your dad," said William from where he sat on the floor. Without conscious volition I let his open arms draw me in and soon I was enveloped in their warmth and what I realised was love, though of a paternal nature. "Let it out Cavon, let it flow. I didn't think it could happen, especially so quickly, but you have wormed your way into my heart. I will not let you down." Burying my face in his scented, hairy chest I did what I was instructed, crying as I hadn't since I had been a child in nappies. William held me tight, rocking, almost crooning. I was half aware, half lost. Eventually when my storm had settled he lifted my face and gazed. What he saw I do not know. My face must have been swollen and red from crying so much, but what he said was, "I guess it is my loss I'm not into young Asians. You are a handsome lad of your type." "And you are a handsome man of yours!" I replied, with a return of humour and wit. "Not as handsome as dad, though," he said/asked. "No, not as handsome as Father." I closed my eyes and realised I could not see Father. I didn't know what he looked like. "I can't see him," I cried. "That I can rectify." A form appeared in the centre of the room. "FATHER!" I jumped up and threw myself at his form, clutched empty air and fell heavily into the wall. "It is an image only. I cannot resurrect the dead! Our powers are great compared with what you know, but not that great. It is only his threedee." A sigh escaped him. "And it hurts me quite deeply that it is also. Of all the men I have seen, men who have spent fortunes on biosculpture, he is the most magnificent. He has a reality of genuine muscle, not cultured, a face that though not perfect is innately masculine, it's faults accenting its beauty and magnifying it a thousand-fold. I felt like a girl at his side! If I had been his son, I have no doubt I would have taken every opportunity to get into his bed also!" While he spoke I rose to my feet, rubbing my shoulder that had taken the force of my fall. I cautiously approached the image, tentatively putting out a hand to touch, finding nothing, seeing my hand within his form. Scrutinising his face, his intelligent eyes looking at I don't know what, but I could see them analysing, weighing up the arguments as he did in court. I think he had been just at the point of having made his decision when this image was taken, a decision that had put him in William's bed, and now put me where I was. Strangely it was only after some minutes of staring at him, reliving memories, that I realised that was naked. "Did he agree to having his threedee taken?" I asked. "I didn't tell him. He wouldn't have understood. Anyway I knew it could do him no harm. It's not as if it was going to stay on the planet to sully his reputation." "No, he wouldn't have understood." BOOK 2 - CONTINUED CHAPTER 4 The computer chimed to let him know we were approaching an island. Cavon put down his pen and stretched his cramped hand. He realised he didn't want to write anymore. His life on board the ship with William, even though he had become fond of him, was not important. He had written all he wanted to write. His past was closed. He looked out into the brilliant light and blue water, saw the island approaching. The flyer docked at a small wharf, the door opening onto the heat of Yellow. A droid approached, indicating for him to follow it. It took him to where a man was working amongst the XTC plants, personally checking their health it seemed. He was bent over, his back to Cavon, large, muscular buttocks bared by the G-string he was wearing. It was not till he stood that Cavon realised that everything about him was big. He appeared almost double Cavon's height, definitely over 2 metres and triple the weight. Cavon had never seen a being so large! Looking lower over his muscled chest and belly Cavon's eyes fixed on the pouch of his G-string. It was at least 4 times the size of any pouch Cavon had seen and even so seemed to be struggling to hold its contents. The material was largely transparent allowing the folding that the cock within had to undergo to be contained by the pouch to be quite evident. "So the company has sent a little China boy to check on me, has it?" His voice was loud and deep, innately aggressive and unfriendly. Remembering the advice of Hi-Tui he tilted his neck and looked up into his massive face. "Ah, yes sir. I'll not need to trouble you. My computer will interrogate yours and I'll just look around a bit. You don't need to bother yourself with accompanying me." "I have no intention of accompanying you China boy. I've nothing to hide and lots to do. You can look after yourself!" A rude reception was something that was not unusual amongst the farmers. None had any love for Lind Inc having often been on the blunt end of its money scrounging tactics. Many times he had been told of how the company expected peak production at all times, but did not provide the equipment to achieve it. He wandered off, tiring himself walking amongst the XTC plants under the intense heat of Yellow, finding nothing out of the ordinary. Hours later Cavon was relaxing in his flyer when the computer chimed and advised that someone was at the door. Without thought or anxiety he opened the door to be greeted by a view of the lower half of the body of the farmer, now without its G-string, rampantly erect. The size of his lizlion was beyond belief, bigger than Cavon's forearm with a head bigger than the fist. But it did not stay long in his gaze as the rest of the body bent to accommodate itself to the low opening and entered without asking. "I've brought you what you want China boy," growled the farmer. "I saw you eyeing it before. Now you can experience it! Suck me boy!" "I don't think I can!" Cavon cried out, truly fearful of what this man would do to him. "Don't you?" he questioned sarcastically. "Weha!" Cavon cried out, reverting in fear to his mother tongue. A fear that so consumed that nothing of his mind functioned, and he made to move to dodge the blow that sent him sprawling, semi-conscious, to the floor. In all his life he could not recall having felt so. The last thing he recalled was the sound of clothing being ripped and the pain of the massive member tearing its way into his arse. CHAPTER 5 He awoke. His eyes opened and received images of a room they did not know. His mind seemed not be attached and made no attempt to understand these images that disappeared soon after when the eyes closed. The next image was of a squarish brown face and shining white teeth lit in a smile. Then there was an auditory component. "Ah, you are awake again." The voice was soft and gentle, masculine. Awareness grew. A firm surface under him, neither hot nor cold. The feeling of restriction, confirmed as he tried to lift his arm and found that nothing happened. He opened his eyes to again find the squarish brown face smiling down on him. "Are you well enough to move?" "I don't know. Where am I?" "You are on my island. It was the next island you were programmed to visit." "How?" Cavon managed. "Ah, how," said the brown face. "You told your computer to bring you here as you crawled for the medic. It was clever of you to record the assault. Why didn't he know he was being recorded?" Memories flooded back. I shook my head wearily, but nothing happened. It seemed my eyes and voice were the only thing over which I had any voluntary control. My eyes closed. "Sorry. Go back to sleep." "It was clever to have set a meaningless sound as the trigger to start your recorder. It seems that this is the reason he thought he had managed to knock you out before you could trigger it." "Weha," he muttered, drifting away again. "'Weha' means `Help'," explained Cavon. "Yes, that is what the translator program told me when I asked." "Translator?" "The language of Nu-Chin is now available as a download. Someone called William Stenhol is credited with the translation. I used it to translate your novel." "William? Novel?" "How long have I been here?" Cavon asked on surfacing again. "Three weeks. That man did a lot of damage to your inside. The medic said 23 individual perforations in your colon as well as a ruptured diaphragm. I'm surprised you managed to get to the medic." "Who are you?" "I have already told you," he said smiling. But it seems you have forgotten. With so much neurosed in you I'm not surprised! Tony Avahllo." "Cavon," he croaked, in form of reply. "Yes, that I know. I've read your novel. Fascinating. Without your permission I've had my computer negotiate with some of the big publishing companies. It seems that in some worlds printed books are all the rage, and people crave something original, outside their experience. I have a good negotiating program that I spent a lot of money on to try and reduce the cost of coming here. It didn't do much good then, but you'll be a very wealthy man if you accept what it has negotiated for you." "Novel?" "You know, all the paper that was spread around your ship. I fed it into the computer which translated it and sorted it into order." "My life!" "The medic says you can try to get up now." He knew that his muscles had been constantly stimulated and stretched while the medic had held him paralysed, but they still felt stiff as he called them into activity to get him up. The last of the tubes had snaked away not long before, and he could feel pain for the first time as the drugs receded. Tony's smiling face and warm brown hand helped him off the bed that the medic's capsule, had transformed itself into, supporting him as his feet experimentally made contact with something solid. They supported him, then he tested a few steps with his arm around Tony for support. Within a short time he was walking well, and began to take an interest in what was around him. First of all was Tony. Brown skinned but of a tone different to his, solid body, a little taller than he was. A brightly coloured floral shirt and dull, baggy shorts. He would come to know this as Tony's uniform. But above all was the warm, smiling face, not of a beauty that he knew but one that made him feel safe and content. Then the building. Above ground, which was unusual. Simply built from what seemed wood and bamboo. Glassless windows and reed covered floor. Its primitiveness made him feel comfortable. Not that such a structure could survive the rain of Nu-Chin, but it was a dry world cousin of the housing he knew. "It's a bit simple, I know," said Tony apologetically. But you won't need to stay long. You can be back in your ship in a week, the medic said." Suddenly Cavon's mind sprang into gear. "Has the medic reported this to the company yet?" Tony blinked, which, with his knowledge, let him know that everything was not as rustic in this dwelling as it appeared, and replied, "No." "Will it lie? I don't want to go back yet." "Oh yes, it can lie!" he said with a sad smile, wrinkles forming at the corner of his eyes. "What is wrong Tony?" "Oh, just sad that my time will end here when you give your report." In response to Cavon's questioning look Tony continued. "The company don't let you work an island alone - and you'll have to report that I am alone. I knew my time was coming. Your schedule was generally spread to all the islands." "Why are you alone?" "I may as well tell you all. It is too late anyway. 20 years ago I found my wife dead, on the opposite side of the island. She seemingly tripped and hit her head, and nothing had seen her go down. The medic said she had had a subdural haemorrhage. Which I asked it not to report. This is why I know the medic can lie." "Yet you saved my life!" "What do you mean?" "If you had let me die the Company would have never found out about you, and they wouldn't find someone else for decades to take my place. You could have seen out your contract and gone." "I couldn't have let you die!" "No more than I could tell the Company that you are here alone." "Really? Would you do that?" The smile became broader as he contemplated this simple offer. "Could I not?" "By the ways of the galaxy and of your contract it would be normal to do so." "But you read my "novel". I am not of this galaxy." "So, that is what you meant," said Tony "Sorry?" "When you said,'My life'. Cavon continued puzzled and Tony explained further. "The story is about you." "Yes. I was recording it all before I forget." "The person in that story would do as you are doing. He is a good person." "Thankyou. And the person in that story would do as you have done." Tony nodded. "Yes he would, but the difference is that anyone would do what I had done." "If they were good." "I hope I'm good also. How long do you want to stay?" Looking at Tony's simple face I impulsively said, "Forever!" "How can you stay forever?" "You would not want my company?" "The Company would not allow it." "What did you say about me being wealthy?" "Ah. If you sold your story you would be wealthy. The computer negotiated a deal that would give you enough to live on for the next 150 years, then whatever continued royalties there were. And if you come up with a sequel they will give you as much again. But I thought it was a novel. It is not, it is a biography. Maybe it is too personal to sell." I contemplated my future as it stood. What I had written was very personal but on the scale of the universe I was not a speck of dust. No one would know me. "It is all dead, that past. I can't see myself driving this flyer around this planet for the rest of my life, and the salary I earn will never let me leave. I don't have an implant. What else can I do?" "Do you know, if they knew it was a true story I think they would pay more." "Will you try for me?" "Of course. Now, let me show you your room. I've set it up for you." They walked through a room furnished with primitive looking lounges covered in bright florals, cousins to Tony's shirt. Then down a hall. "Here it is. You have your own bathroom." "And some clothes?" asked Cavon? "Oh. I'm so sorry. I've been so used to seeing you in the medic. I've never seen you any other way. What do you wear?" Cavon was sitting on the steps of the small jetty, dangling his feet in the warm water, when a droid popped up near him, soon to be followed by Tony. He was in his uniform, his floral shirt and baggy pants. Cavon had adopted the clothes of his childhood. "Ah, here you are. Contemplating the sequel?" Tony said as he sat beside Cavon, splashing his feet beside Cavon's. "Tony, can I ask a question?" "Of course." "You look older than any person I've met since I left my world." "That is not a question," with the ever present smile. "Why? That is the question." Tony looked away, down into the water. "When Lilly died I stopped taking AgeStop. There didn't seem any reason. I was forbidden my home. What was I to do with the hundreds of years?" "Why are you forbidden your home?" "My home is a very traditional world. The people there migrated from Polynesia on Old Earth. They were so conservative that they were among the last to leave, only getting out when people started getting sick. Marriages are arranged by the community elders and the parents. I was betrothed to another girl, Lilly to a friend of mine. But we were in love, and I didn't want to live my life with the other girl. Even though we don't take AgeStop, even to live 80 years of life with someone I didn't love seemed unbearable. So we decided to elope, but to elope meant leaving the planet. Then we had to survive. We were a farming people, and this seemed ideal. We broke yet another tradition and started taking AgeStop, as otherwise we would not have enough life to enjoy the money we were earning. But when I found Lilly dead there did not seem any point anymore." "We are the same, Tony. I also am forbidden my home. I also have no reason to live." "But you will find someone who'll make it worthwhile." Cavon looked at him questioningly. "Like you I've had that once in my life. I don't think I'll find it again." "With your father?" "Yes." "That would have been punished with imprisonment on Polynesia. It is wrong that he used you that way." "It is wrong that you married against the rule of your people also," Cavon replied in pique. It had been there only harsh exchange to date. Cavon entered the routine of the farm. Wearing a cap like he had worn on the ship with William, he was able to control the computer sufficiently to be useful. He had sold his story and had the money deposited in his bank, had given his notice to the Company, but had done well out of this as the medic had said that he was too traumatised by his experience to return and the Company had paid him out on medical grounds. He was in truth quite wealthy, but he had no desire to move on. He was happy in this simple life, shared with Tony. What pleasure would he get in an advanced planet? He would be a freak. A man without implants. No, there was no joy in that. But how long would Tony have him here? And what would happen when Tony's contract was completed in 20 years time? Besides, even if he tagged on and followed Tony where ever he went, Tony was not taking AgeStop. He would be dead while Cavon was still young. Cavon had never contemplated such a long life, but now that it was available it was not something he felt he could let go. He had started taking AgeStop when he was 22 years galactic standard old. It was a question without answer, so he put it away and lived in the rhythm of the farm, not thinking about it. Tony was cooking food traditional of his world. He came from a world of ocean and islands, similar to the area his people had come from on Old Earth. Traditional food meant fish, pork and chicken. Tony had a little boat in which he used to go fishing in the old fashioned way, with a long nylon thread and a sharp hook. Now the smell of frying fished filled the bungalow and made Cavon's mouth water. He had taken up cooking a few weeks after Cavon had become well enough to get around. He laughed how it must be ingrained in his blood that he could still remember how after 20 years. He and Lilly, though they had forsaken their world, had not forsaken all their traditions. Polynesia was a mineral poor world that had nothing to sell to the universe that the universe wanted, but rich in its soil and oceans. These were bountiful and the people lived in their villages by the sea or in the forests, growing their vegetables, herding their pigs and chickens, fishing. So he and Lilly had continued their tradition of cooking even though they had a food synthesiser. But when Lilly had died Tony stopped cooking. Then after another few weeks he started singing or whistling as he cooked and as he went about the daily chores. "You have a nice voice Tony," Cavon commented. "I like to hear you sing. Mother sang and played. She had a beautiful voice and was a great composer of music." "I know about your mother, don't forget. I'm not on her level. I sing simple songs of my land only." "You know a lot of them!" "I have the computer to help." "Hmm. But you must have taught them to the computer." "No. I downloaded them after we got here. But you can sing also. You never sing." "On my world singing is more formal. After a meal, in the evening. People do not sing as they work." "Sing something for me! I would like to hear you sing," Tony beseeched. The request made him remember the night with Mother and Wi-Su. "Ah. If it makes you sad it is okay. You have much more to forget than I." "I would like to sing for you Tony. It just brought back a memory. It was a nice memory, only sad because it is of my lost youth. Let me sing the song of that memory. It is one that Mother wrote." With which he started to sing, quietly, looking out over the sun bright ocean, but remembering his grey home. When he finished he looked up, surprised to see tears in Tony's eyes. "What's wrong?" "That was so beautiful!" "You could understand?" Even before it was out of his mouth Cavon realised it was a silly question. When one lived with a computer one understood everything. He shook his head to imply that there was no need to answer. "Your mother was a great artist. And her son a tribute to her artistry." With which he turned away as if embarrassed, concentrating on the frying fish. After he bit he said, into the frying pan, "I've started taking AgeStop again." For reasons he did not analyse this caused joy in Cavon's heart. "You can't swim?" exclaimed Tony. "You lived on a world on which the air was like water, and you can't swim?" "It was not safe to enter the river. Lizlions could always be under the surface. Yue-Lin and I had a little hot pool in which we entered, but we always had hold of something - we never swam." "I'll teach you! I'll get the mechs to fence off an area near the jetty - I hate to think what might be lurking in that ocean, as pretty as it is - and you can learn to swim. So a week later they were at the waters edge. Tony took off his shirt, revealing his torso to Cavon's eyes for the first time, but not his shorts. "Why do you swim in shorts?" asked Cavon. "Like your world, on Polynesia nudity is not condoned. I feel uncomfortable." Cavon enjoyed the stocky torso, smooth and brown. He had been curious as to what Tony looked like without clothes. This curiosity had been gradually growing as weeks passed, but as much as he casually tried he had never seen Tony out of his uniform. He had been quite dead to feelings since Father had been killed. He had had a few sexual contacts on the space ship, but because he had been sought rather than because he felt inclined. And on this planet his only lover had been his hand and his memories of Father, refreshed regularly with his recordings, and of Wi-Su, now very vague. He now realised something new was growing, though he wondered what was the point with a man who had stated that though he accepted that Cavon liked sex with men he could not understand it. "You don't mind if I swim naked," Cavon asked. "I was introduced to you naked. I doubt if it will shock me." Cavon walked nervously into the water. When he was waist deep Tony asked him to stop, then demonstrated the basics of swimming. Cavon imitated, almost drowning, but soon had the knack of it. From then on he swam frequently, always naked. Tony often joined him, always in shorts. One day Tony said, "Now you can swim, I'll teach you to fish." They were sitting side by side in Tony's primitive little dinghy, legs touching. Fish flopped on the floor of the boat. The ocean teemed so with life that fishing required little to no skill. Tony stood to cast his line a little further from the boat than where they had been fishing. He had just taken firm hold of the line, still on his feet, when something big took the bait, pulling him off balance. Cavon dropped his own line and grabbed for Tony. Tony twisted wildly, trying to stay in the boat. With their combined effort Tony managed to avoid a dunking and maybe becoming a meal for whatever took the bait, but his line was pulled out to sea and the two of them had ended up in a tangle on the bottom of the boat along with the caught fish, Cavon's arms firmly embracing Tony. They lay still while they waited for the oscillations of the little craft to settle down, then a bit longer as they settled from the fright. Eventually when they were upright again, Tony opted to call it quits and went to row them back to shore. Pain in his back stopped him so Cavon clumsily took over. Tony offered to call a mech to tow them, but Cavon declined, saying it was a skill he should learn on a world of water. On getting back to the house Tony was still feeling uncomfortable and, worried that he might have damaged himself more seriously, stripped off his clothes, thoughtless of Cavon's presence, and jumped straight into the medic. The medic pronounced that he had only suffered bruising, and that his back was out. This was origin of the pain he was feeling in his back and chest and would need manipulation. Cavon, also worried, had his cap on and was monitoring the output. What the medic proposed sounded quite simple and he asked Tony if he could do it for him rather than the machine. Tony nodded, a smile of thanks warming his face, and stood aside as the medic transformed itself into a massage table, extruding a bottle of oil. Cavon was also naked as he had already stripped off his fish smelling clothes before entering the house. He had been naked with Tony so much that it seemed quite natural, but now the initial alarm was over he became conscious of Tony's disrobed form and a reaction started that had not troubled him before. In embarrassment he hurried Tony up on to the table, getting him to bury his face in the hole provided. Then, presented with Tony's back and buttocks he relaxed, thinking his response had not been noted, safe to admire Tony's muscular form. It was working muscle like the people of his world, not biosculped like the many people he had seen naked during his time on this planet. Blocky muscle that gave substance but not definition. Tony did a lot of the physical work, unused to relying on mechs to do it for him. Cavon poured some oil onto Tony's waiting skin, and began his first massage since his time with Father. The medic gave specific instructions as to what was needed, but Cavon also let his hands wander with the pleasure of feeling Tony's warm flesh under them. Later, relaxing after having eaten a meal prepared from the fish caught during the somewhat ill fated expedition, Tony said, "All the pain has gone. You have skilful hands. It was a lovely feeling. Where did you learn?" "I used to receive massage after my weapons training. I was remembering this," replied Cavon, remembering also the love that underlay the massages of Yue-Sin. "Ah, of course. You were a rich boy. Of course you would be on the receiving end." This was said with a disarming smile. "I still am," Cavon said with a similar smile. After a period of quiet Tony said, "Do I excite you sexually?" It was said calmly, in a tone like one might ask if you had slept well. Cavon felt himself blush with an intensity sufficient to boil water. He didn't need to ask why Tony would ask this. Of course Tony, even though his face was buried in the massage table, had been able to see everything that passed in the house and on the island through the sensors of the computer. After his wife's death he had extended the system that the Company had provided to include the whole island, not just those areas that the Company thought important. It had been too late, but other people would come to live here after he had gone, he had said to himself as justification. Tony said nothing to fill the expanding silence. Eventually Cavon worked up the courage to lift his face and look Tony in the eyes. "I'm sorry." "There is nothing to be sorry about." "I think there is. And I think it is time I left here and made my own way in the universe. I am able to now. I shouldn't be living on you." "What is there to be sorry about?" Tony asked, ignoring everything else. "I guess it is not saying sorry to you, but sorry to me. You see, I've come to love you." "Yes?" "It is the form of love you can't reciprocate." Now it was Tony's turn to lower his gaze. He started to speak a few times but each time cut off the words before they started. Finally he muttered, "Don't make any plans yet." Side by side under Blue, Cavon and Tony were inspecting the XTC crop. A marking had been appearing on the leaves in one area of the island. "I've never seen anything like this before," Tony commented. Their hands were touching as the both examined the same leaf. "Could it be some element deficiency?" questioned Cavon. "The discolouration seems to be intrinsic in the leaf, not something growing on the outside." "I've not done anything differently." "How long has XTC been grown on this island?" "I think I'm the second farmer - so 75 years or so." "Maybe something has been depleted from the soil that XTC needs. This is not its native island, and it has been grown very intensively. Lets analyse some of these leaves, and some from the other side of the island." Tony turned his eyes from the leaf to look Cavon in the face, a warmth glowing in them. "It is good to have you here Cavon." "It is good to be here Tony. These months have been the happiest I've had since my life was torn apart by the Prince. I'm glad I can repay this by being of some help to you." "Ah, it is not so much that. The computer and the Company provide that support though you are quicker than the dolts in the Company. More it is just good to be with you. I feel my life has been born again." Cavon impulsively grasped Tony's hand and squeezed. "Likewise." Tony returned the grip, his eyes moist. Then suddenly embarrassed he looked away and let go. "A droid is bringing some leaves from the other side of the island. Let's pick a few of the most damaged and take them to the house." Tony was picking a small screwdriver from the floor when pain winced his face. "What's the matter," Cavon asked, alarmed. "My back hurts. Suddenly, as I bent." "Same place as before?" "I think so." "Let's go to the medic. Maybe it just needs another massage." This time Tony was a little slower taking of his clothes, seemingly self conscious, making sure his back was turned away when he lowered his shorts. For the second time Cavon was seeing the naked form of this simple man. Looking back in his past it made him think of Yue-Sin, though not quite as bulky. He felt himself responding to the natural beauty of his build, a feeling of love and desire as warm as a comforting bath. It made him feel, strangely, very safe. The medic quickly confirmed Cavon's suspicion and turned itself once again into a massage table. This time not worried if his arousal was visible he undressed prior to beginning to massage Tony's waiting body. Nor did he hold back from making the massage as sensual as he remembered those given by Yue-Sin. "Turn over Tony. While we're here you may as well get a full massage." Tony was slow to move. He twisted his upper torso and looked Cavon in the eyes. "I've stopped taking drugs to kill my sex drive," he said quietly. "I didn't know you were. Why tell me now?" "You will see when I roll over. I don't understand it. When I told you that I couldn't understand sex between two men I was not lying." He said no more but slowly turned on the bed revealing that his cock was hard. "I'm sure it doesn't mean anything. Massage is a very sensuous thing. It could have been anyone massaging you. It is normal to become aroused." "I was watching you," replied Tony quietly. Cavon poured oil onto Tony's chest and dug his finger into the hard chest muscles. He didn't know how to respond to this revelation. He knew what he wanted to do, but didn't know if he should. So he move his hands down Tony's body, flexing fingers into all muscles that could be consider safe, taking enormous care to avoid the one thing that he desired most to touch. It was as he was administering the last finishing strokes that Tony spoke for the first time. "Don't leave it out," he whispered. "Only if you'll kiss me," responded Cavon. "Stop me if you can," laughed Tony, no longer subdued. He had turned and embraced Cavon, lifting him from the floor like a child and putting him on top of himself, their lips coming together with the precision of the connecting arms of two docking space ships. Though nothing that followed had much to do with precision, with Tony obviously unsure of what he should be doing. Lying once again on top of Tony after he had brought each of them to conclusion, using his oily hands on Tony's dark member as he straddled his thighs then falling forward so his own cock thrust into the greasy cleft between Tony's thighs for its own satisfaction, Cavon's lips looked for a soft kiss from Tony's but were repelled by a hard line. Thinking of Hi-Tui, Cavon asked, "You don't like kissing after?" "I don't know what I like. I never thought I would like this. I never thought I could do this. What would Lilly think?" "I don't know Tony. Wouldn't she be happy that you were happy?" "But with a man?" "Would it be different if you were with a woman?" "I don't know. I'm betraying her!" Cavon carefully lifted himself up and slipped off the massage bed. He noted it had broadened itself to make their activities safer, and, with an isolated analytical part of his mind, wondered to himself what the medic thought of the massage he had given. "I have driven you to something you aren't ready for. I was correct before when I said that I should leave." The emotional part of his brain was feeling very hurt and rejected and directed him to his bedroom where he fell listlessly onto the bed. He lay on his back and stared emptily into space, questioning the hardness of his life. What had he done to deserve such a cruel fate? His thoughts swirled uselessly. Some time later his fugue state was broken as Tony lay down beside him. He was still naked, though clean of massage oil, and put an arm around Cavon. "I'm sorry." Totally beyond the self control of his upbringing Cavon rolled into Tony's strong arms and let sobs wrack his body without restraint. Tony held him tight, waiting until Cavon had calmed before saying anything further. "This should have happened before what we did on the massage bed. That is Lilly's counsel. But it is not the first time in human history that the correct order has been abandoned, and I guess it will not be the last. Now though I would like to correct the fault. Cavon, will you marry me?" The last coming out in a choke of emotion. Cavon gazed into Tony's dark eyes. His heart swelled within him and he opened his mouth in reply, but instead of what he had intended to say sobs again took him and his vision blurred with tears. Somewhere that same little analytical bit of his brain was questioning how his behaviour could have degenerated so. Where was his strength, his calm core? Tony was rocking him gently, stroking his back, kissing his wet cheeks. Every time Cavon went to speak sobs renewed themselves and gripped his throat in a vice. Eventually he gave up and just nodded, with which Tony's tears merged with his as they held each other tight.