Chapter 7

 
I wake up.  I have a headache.  I turn to the right and see I'm being watched by Billy Big Ball and another crew member of the Screaming Dagger that I don't realize.

 

"Holy shit he's up," Billy tells the boy, "Go get Holystone!"

I recognize the tone in Billy's voice.  It's very recognizable.  He is afraid.  The sound of his voice is the sound of someone who is shocked.  I am held up on a bed.  I know boats like this don't have doctors.  There is a carpenter on the ship that is doing most of the medical stuff.  I'm wondering if the boy who ran off was that carpenter.
Billy moves to the other side of the room.  He presses up against the wall and his eyes nail on me like I'm about to attack him right here and now.

 

"What happened?"

Billy doesn't answer me.  He looks at me as though I'm freaking him the fuck out.  I don't get it.  I sit up a little bit.  My head hurts and I'm so confused.

 

"Billy...what happened?" I ask again.

 

Billy continues to ignore me.  He presses up against the wall and stares at the door clearly waiting for something to happen.  It's the most awkward few moments of my life waiting for someone to come to the door.  It takes a few minutes but Captain Holystone himself walks into the room.  He doesn't seem nearly as afraid as Billy who is more than happy to stop playing sentry and leave us alone together.

 

Holystone is cold when he walks into the room slowly and stares at me as though he's found some sort of new found interest that he never had before.  He looks at me and I swear that he's strange.

 

"You remember what happened boy?" he asks me.

 

The way he calls me "boy" is so demeaning.  If it was anyone else I would have said something but this is Holystone.  There is something so goddam scary about this man.  The way his eyes pierce at me sends straight up chills down my spine.

 

"No..."

"Who are you?" he asks me.

 

"Lafayette Baptiste."

"Who are you really?"

The question is a strange question.  I'm confused.  He knew who he was.  He knew who my father was.

"I am Lafay---"

I don't get to finish.  Holystone comes towards me.  He grabs me up by my collar and presses me against the wall.  He begins to choke me and I swear I feel my entire life coming out of me when he does.  He presses up against my neck and when he does I remember something.  My neck.  There are no scars on my neck.  There is nothing.
Didn't I slit my throat?

 

What was going on?

"Stop please..." I beg him, "I'm Lafayette Baptiste.  I swear..."

 

He drops me at that moment flinging me across the room as though I weigh nothing at all.  I hit the ground hard.  Holystone peers down at me still in the threatening way.

 

"You ever been in love Lafayette Baptiste with someone who doesn't love you back?"

When he asks the question I think immediately of the Sea Wolf.  Was it love?  No.  Maybe.  I'm not sure. It was definitely fascination and the Sea Wolf didn't even know I existed.  He probably never would.

 

"No...why?"

How could I tell Holystone what I felt about the Sea Wolf?  I would end up overboard the ship if I was lucky.  Holystone was fascinated with the Sea Wolf.

 

 

"When I was your age I loved a boy," Holystone tells me, "He was a pirate.  He was the most dangerous pirate on the seas.  They called him the Pirate Ghost because the things he could do were impossible.  The ways he fought was almost as though he was a ghost.  He had no fear of death almost like he was already dead.  And everyone loved him and for some reason I felt like I loved him more.  He never noticed me...not even a stare.  Not even when the law caught up to him and hung him.  I was at his hanging.  He didn't even give me a single stare.  He was a legend the day he died and will be one He was a ghost of the seas and no matter how much I search for boys who are like him I could never find one..."

"Why are you telling me this?"

Holystone turns as though he is realizing.

"I came in late.  I saw you at the end...and the way you moved.  I've never met anyone move like you before...except for the Pirate Ghost."

 

 

 

~

 

 

The day is going by pretty fast.  I walk up on the main deck and see most of the boys hanging out.  The storm has passed and the sun is up in the sky.  I can still feel Holystone's hands choking me.  I had seen the anger in his eyes almost as though he was taking out his resentment from this Pirate Ghost's rejection on me.  I didn't get it.

 

I find myself walking on the deck and immediately every eye on the main deck stares over at me.  There is only one that I stare back at though.  The Sea Wolf.

He is on the Quarterdeck away from the others and smoking a pipe.  The smoke from the pipe drafts up all the way to the mainsails.  He looks down at me when I walk on the main deck.  Two beautiful eyes on around a sea of others and for the first time it seems like the Sea Wolf recognizes who I am.

 

"You been asleep forever..." a voice says.

 

I turn and see O'Malley.  Ashton, Skyrat and Black Jack are close at hand.  They get my attention and by the time I look back to see the Sea Wolf again I see that he's disappeared below deck all of a sudden leaving his pipe behind in some rush for whatever reason.  It's a little annoying to say the least.

 

"My head is fucking killing me..." I tell the boys, "Why is everyone staring?"

The staring was usual but this was different.  Before they stared at me like they wanted to fuck me.  Now they were staring at me like they wanted to fuck me and feared me all at the same time.  I didn't get it.

 

"You don't remember?" Black Jack asks.

 

"God no.  Everyone's acting so weird.  What happened?" I ask.

 

I hate beating around the bush.  The boys all look at each other trying to find who the best person is to tell me what went down.  It's Ashton who walks over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

 

"Trip is dead...and you killed him," Ashton tells me.

 

I laugh.  It's hilarious to think about it.  The twins were supposedly some of the best fighters in the world.  There was no way in hell that I would have been able to hurt them let alone kill one of them.  It was impossible.  I am pretty sure that Ashton had gotten some sort of humor from Skyrat or something.  Then I realize though that no one is laughing...not even Skyrat.  All of them look seriously at me.  Dead serious.

"You're serious?"

They all nod.  I'm shocked and confused.  I'd never killed someone in my life.
"You cut yourself and we all thought you were about to commit suicide...but it wasn't that..."Ashton tells me, "As soon you drew blood you started chanting something.  A name.  It freaked Trip out but he kept trying to rape you.  There was nothing we could do to stop.  I even took a bullet for you."

"You took a bullet for me?" I ask.

 

Ashton points at his shoulder.  Sure enough his shoulder is wrapped up with a bandage.  If he did take a bullet it was clear that Trip wasn't successful in taking him down.  It means the most to know that Ashton would do something like that for me.  It also makes me feel less bad about the fact that Trip was dead.  These boys had terrorized me.
I was glad one of them were gone, but I'm still more confused on how it happened.

 

How as it possible that Trip was dead?

 

"As soon as it happened you went crazy. We couldn't keep up with you.  You were so fast.  It was almost unnatural.  We couldn't stop looking at you. And you just killed him...so fast."
I sigh.

"That's so weird..." I state.

I don't think Ashton is lying.  That's not the point.  The point is that I blanked out.  I wasn't myself anymore.  This didn't sound like me.  I didn't know how to fight for a day in my life.

 

"Can you teach us?" Skyrat asks.

 

"All of us," O'Malley adds in.

They all look at me as though I'm something I'm not.  It's almost as though they are expecting me to black out and do something that I don't remember doing.

 

"Guys.  I'm sorry.  I don't remember anything."

"C`mon.  You're holding out on us.  Who taught you all that?  Is it some sort of Baptiste thing?" Skyrat asks.

 

Ashton looks over at Skyrat, "Baptiste thing?  Why would it be a Baptiste thing?"

I want to punch Skyrat at that moment.  He gets real quiet.  He's talking way too much and the stare I give him immediately causes him to shut up.  He looks over at me then quickly looks over at Ashton.

 

"Ugh...nevermind!  Must have just been some sort of freak accident...or something," Skyrat declares, before running away.

 

Luckily Ashton doesn't seem to take Skyrat serious at that moment because he doesn't press it.  I figure maybe this is a good time to tell Ashton who I really am especially when he grabs me by my arm to pull me away from the others.
The way he looks at me is just how I would look at the Sea Wolf.  The breeze is blowing and Ashton is holding my hand at that moment.  There is a gentleness to his eyes when he gets me away from the others.  He licks his lips a few times.

 

His hand holding mines feels so...weirdly intimate.

 

"I don't know who you are.  I don't know where you came from," he starts telling me, "But I want you to know that there is something so special about you."

People are watching us.  Ashton knows it.  It's clear as day he recognizes the stares.  Maybe that's why he pulled me aside in front of the whole crew.  Maybe he wants people to see what kind of relationship we have.

 

"Ashton..."

 

 

"No let me finish.  I thought I had lost you for a minute.  I felt like I couldn't protect you and I thought that I wanted to give up.   But now I want to fight more than ever.  I want to fight for you..."

That's when Ashton does something I don't expect.  Ashton presses me up against his body.  His hard muscles press up against mine.  He begins to kiss me putting his tongue down my throat.  It isn't just a kiss.  Ashton is claiming me.  He's claiming me in front of all of these people in a way that I don't want.  I don't know what to do.  I don't want to embarrass him but at the same time I don't want to sit there and enjoy kissing my brother.  I've never known how to reject someone.

 

This wasn't a normal kiss.

 

One thing was becoming more and more clear.  Ashton Baptiste was falling in love with me...

 

 

~

 

 

It's the middle of the night when I hear voices.  All these voices in my head.  They are almost talking to me and I can't get them out.  I feel almost suffocated and wake up wanting to scream but then I realize that there is a hand over my mouth!

I struggle ready to fight wondering if Track had come to take revenge for his brother.  I hadn't seen him since the accident and I'm so sure that was the case.

 

I'm wrong.

 

I turn and realize that it's the Sea Wolf.

 

He signals me to be very quiet and then gives me another signal.  Bello signals me to follow him!  Immediately my heart is racing.  All this time Bello had been ignoring me and here he is in the middle of the night asking me to follow him.

 

I don't hesitate.  I don't even have time to wear a shirt and when I see how muscular the Sea Wolf is when we get out on the main deck I feel so self aware of my own boyish body.  The Sea Wolf doesn't even seem to notice however when we get out to the deck and I feel like I might be thinking a little too much into it.

 

"What's going on?" I ask him.

 

He doesn't answer right away.

 

"I wanted to talk to you," Bello tells me, "In private."

There are a few boys manning the ship in the night but none of them seem to notice or care that we were out on the main deck.  It's rare to feel some privacy here.  It's the middle of the night and the sea is beautiful.  It turns slowly in the water.  The moon is high in the sky.

"What about?"

I can tell he doesn't do this often.  He doesn't look at me.  The look in his eyes shows the disconnect.  I'm not sure the Sea Wolf is used to talking to people normally unless he was shouting or giving orders.  The only person he seemed to have that relationship with was the Captain and even then he seemed sort of...out of it.  Almost as though he wasn't fully engaged.

 

Right now is one of the only times the Sea Wolf has seemed really present and here.

 

 

"The Captain thinks you're something special.  He thinks you are the answer to all his problems," the Sea Wolf states.

 

"And what do you think?"

The Sea Wolf turns to me quickly whipping his silver hair.  His brown tanned body looks golden in the moonlight.  I can't help but to look at his lips.

 

"I think you're more than a sacrifice.  I saw you yesterday.  I was wrong and I would like to apologize..."

Strange.

 

The Sea Wolf was apologizing.  He had given me the Judas Chair and not apologized.  This is what he chose to apologize for?  I'm confused on why he felt like this was important enough to drag me out here for.

 

"What happened yesterday...wasn't me..." I explain.

 

"Then who was it?"

I shrug.

 

"Someone else.  I can't explain," I admit.

 

I had let something else in to protect me when I needed it most.  I don't know how.  I don't know how it was possible but there was a lot of shit going on in my life that I never thought was possible.  I'm more confused than ever as I look out on the crackling waves.

 

"Well whoever he was that came out was brought by you," the Sea Wolf tells me finally turning back and staring at me, "So I'm not sure who is more impressive..."

"Apologizing me and complimenting me on the same day?" I ask, "I think you're getting soft on me."

The Sea Wolf sneers.

 

He stops looking at me with those eyes of his and stares instead at the waves.

 

"Not quite.  I never saw a fighter like you.  I'm impressed with what I saw yesterday.  It would be hard to take down the twins.  Even when I took down Track it was a bit harder."

"Wait...you were the one who attacked Track?"

The Sea Wolf all of a sudden realizes he let something slip that I don't think he meant to.  I can see a slight panicked look in his eyes for a second before he turns away from me.  He stares out at something.  The plywood on the ship.  He stares at the stars in the sky.  He stares at everything but me as though realizing that there are vulnerabilities in his eyes that he doesn't want to show me.

 

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"It was you.  You acted like you didn't want to help me but someone attacked Track."

"It could have been anyone.  Why would I help you?"

"It was you..."

I know it.
"This is stupid."

He starts walking away at that moment.  I follow him, chase him down and run in front of him to stop him.  He manages to maneuver past.

 

"Why won't you let me thank you?"

I'm confused.

 

 

"It could have been Ashton.  I heard he kissed you today.  It could have been anyone.  Everyone on this ship is in love with you."

Did he think I was an idiot?  Regardless of how these boys felt for me they were all afraid of the twins.  O'Malley hadn't left my side that day and Ashton wouldn't have gotten the best of Track.  That left one person.

 

"It was you."

"You think I care about you?" he asks, "I don't know what kind of...spell you have these other people under.  But NOT me!"
 

He's growling.  There is an anger in him that I don't really understand.  He went from being soft and calm to being completely angry.  I'm so confused.  What did I say that was so wrong?  I am just literally trying to thank him at this point but it's clear he's getting more and more upset.

I think about turning away.  I think about just letting him calm down but for some reason I can't just do that.  He's getting under my skin.

 

"Are you so afraid to feel anything?"

He laughs.

 
"What is there to feel?"

"I don't know.  You tell me," I challenge him, "I seem to have an effect on you."

"You might want to walk away now..." he tells me.

 

It's a threat.

 

"Or what?  The Judas chair?"

The Sea Wolf lips tense up.  I can tell I'm really getting to him.  He walks straight up to me and presses up against me.  The anger is there.  I swear I think he's going to hit me right here and right now.

I brought you out here to challenge you to a duel."

"What?"

I'm more confused than ever.  The Sea Wolf looks over at me.  Why would he be so upset if it wasn't true?  He had snuck behind my back and fought Track for me.   He had injured Track because he thought Track was going to hurt me.  The Sea Wolf had tried to protect me.  I knew it and he knew it.  Regardless of if he did it in the open or not.  He's such a complicated soul and I've never met anyone like him.  I've never met someone who fought so hard to try not to look relatable and kind.

 

When truthfully I think he really was.

 

There was something good in the Sea Wolf.

 

"You mean nothing to me," he tells me.

 

"There is only Holystone to you, huh?"

"Right."

"I think you're lying."

"You don't know a damn thing about me."

"Prove it."

"How?"

I don't know what gets over me.  The Sea Wolf is so close to me.  I lean in at that moment and I do it.  I kiss him.  I kiss him in the same way Ashton had kissed me.  My tongue goes into his mouth.  I expect him to strike me.  I expect him to even kill me for crossing this boundary.  He doesn't do any of those things.

 

The Sea wolf kisses me back and immediately there is this connection.  I've never felt anything like it before.  His hand grabs the back of my head.  It's not my imagination!  He pulls me in closer.  I grab onto his waist squeezing him.

 

He's so close that I can feel his dick rising in his trousers.

 

That isn't the only thing rising though.  All our hopes, all of our fears, all of our sensitivities rose in that moment as well.  In those moments we weren't just pirates.  We were lovers.  We were enemies.  We were competitors.

 

This was the moment that everyone dreamed about.  The kiss of all kisses.  I swear at that moment a lightning bolt shatters the sky all of a sudden and hits the sea.

 

A sudden rain begins and sprinkles over our head and even in the wetness we kiss.   Our lips slapping down as the rain brushes against us.

"Holy shit," I mutter.

 

I'm the first one to break the kiss.  I'm not sure if we kissed for 3 seconds or 30 minutes.  I'm so shocked by the emotion in my kiss that I literally stagger back out of his hands.  I had NEVER felt anything like that before.  I couldn't have been the only one.  The look in Bello's eyes was almost as though he discovered a part of himself that he never knew was there.

 

This kiss had changed...everything...

 

"I have to go..." he states.
He starts walking away.  It literally feels like he is taking my heart with him as he leaves and I can't stay alive too long without my heart.  I find myself calling out to him in the most desperate way possible.

 

"Bello! Bello WAIT!"  I scream out.

 

I get no reaction.  Bello completely ignores me and doesn't turn back.

 

 

~

 

 

The next day I can still feel his lips up against mine.  I can still feel how his heart thumped on mine.

 

"You hear me boy?  I need my net."

I've been working for the ship's striker as his cabin boy all day.  The strikers were the ones responsible for fishing.  They fished for sharks and other large fish; and also hunted wild game when the crew came ashore  I swear he sends me away just so he can look at my ass when I walk away.  I see him doing it now.  He's good locking.  He's short and stocky and has brown braids going down his back.  The other strikers laugh as I walk away all of them taking turns to check me out.

 

I get to the main deck and the first person and start looking for his net.  I've been a mess but I know the Striker doesn't give a damn.  He's sending me on these stupid errands for no reason.  When I get to the main deck it's clear something is happening.  There is a big crowd.

 

As I approach I see Ashton.

 

"What's the crowd for?"

He shakes his head.  Ashton has a worried look on his face.   I have never seen the entire crew gather around so quickly for whatever reason.  Something was going on.  Something big.  In the middle of the deck I see an argument.

 

That's when I see Holystone.  The men have formed an empty circle.  In the middle of that circle was Holystone and Bello.

 

What was going on?

"You take his side over mine?"  Bello asks the Captain.

 

"Of course not..." the Captain states.

 

"Then let me do it.   You said you loved me Holystone.  You said you would never refuse anything I requested."

 

They were arguing.  Bello was causing the biggest scene.  He has his saber in his hand.  He's angry about something.  No.  Angry isn't the word.  He paces back and forth.  There is murder in Bello's eyes right now and I don't think anyone has ever seen him so upset.

 

"What could he have done that was so bad?" Holystone asks.

 

"That's my business."

"We need him."

"I need my pride.  I want this made right."

What was going on?  I'm so confused.  This seems to be some sort of pirate ritual I was not used to.  I'm so confused but then I see Holystone take out his saber.  For a moment I think they are going to fight but Holystone doesn't use his own saber.  He tosses it on the ground and points.

 

He points in the crowd.  Everyone separates.

 

Holystone points at me!

I look down at the saber he's left on the ground.  I'm so confused.  What is going on?

 

"I'm confused," I say to Ashton.

 

Ashton shakes his head.  He's shaking in fear.  He looks completely helpless.

 

Ashton lets me know what this ritual is, "The Sea Wolf is challenging you to a duel to the death.  And Holystone has accepted."

 

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