Chapter 13

Alaric

"Toast?"

I'm sitting in my room when the door opens.  I guess people in this fucking bunker don't knock.  I'm annoyed when Valentina and Mitch walk in unannounced.  To be honest I don't know what they are doing here.

"Did he send you?" I ask.

They had to know I was talking about Sunday.   I've kept to myself so I wouldn't be surprised if Sunday sent someone to check on me.  He probably thought I was acting so anti-social because of him.  Truth is I had the death of my friends on my mind.  I had the fact that Marius was dead on my mind.  Everything that mattered to me was gone.  Sunday needed to get over himself.

I just thought about him 70% of the time.

I sigh at the thought.  It's still way too much thinking of Sunday.

"He's worried," Valentina addresses me first, "We all are."

That didn't answer the question on whether he directly sent Valentina and Mitch to check up on me or not.

"About what?"

"Von and the others think you've been compromised."

"Compromised by who?"

"The people you were with.  They identified that the guy Marius you were with connected to the New World Order."

"That's fucking ridiculous."

"That's what we said but these guys are real strict.  And you acting weird isn't helping."

"So what they going to kick me out or something?"

"Sunday told them that if you leave we all leave," Mitch interrupts, "I don't think they care too much about us but they don't want to risk Sunday running off."

I stop.

Just like Sunday to do something like that.  He cared so much.  Hearing that he stood up for me just made me fall for him all over again.  Sunday had my back even when we weren't together.

"He's amazing," I state.

"He said that we all stick together. He'll never let anything happen to you as long as he's around.  You should know how much he cares about you.  I know.  I've seen it firsthand.  So how about you go out to see him and thank him in person.  Since he's so amazing."

"I'm fine," I respond.

I wasn't fine.  All I did now was worry.  I might as well have been dead honestly.  What was the point of living here?

"No you're not," Valentina states, "You look like shit.  I don't even recognize you.  Some type of dirty caveman.  You're falling apart."

"You don't know me Valentina," I respond, "I think we both came to terms that whatever we shared in the past wasn't real by now."

"I know enough to know that what you had with Sunday was real," she responds.

I'm not expecting this from her.  I'm kind of shocked to be honest with you.  Sitting in my room brooding over the fact that Sunday moved on was just normal for me so I didn't think anyone else understood exactly what I was going through.

Mitch follows up almost immediately, "We're rooting for you."

"You two want to see me with Sunday?" I ask.

Valentina and Mitch look at each other.  The long pause lets me know they aren't willing to come out and just say it but the fact that they were here right now going around it speaks volumes honestly.

"He was in love with you," Mitch scurries around the question, "A part of him probably still is.  I know my best friend.  I can see it."

Heavy.

That's the only word that comes to mind.  I sit up on the bed.  Sure there was a shower but I had gotten so used to not showering.  I wondered if I stunk to them.  I wonder if I needed to shave.  I wondered if I had let myself go completely physically that Sunday wouldn't even find me attractive to begin with.

"I can see that he's moved on," I state.

Valentina rolls her eyes, "You're pathetic you know that?"

"Valentina, don't..." Mitch states.

Mitch was nice.  He's one of those guys that was too nice to everyone.  Valentina had a bit of a bitch in her.  She always had.  Seeing her calling me pathetic right now definitely offends the shit out of me and I know she is on one of her bitch moods and nothing nice Mitch could do right now would be able to stop that mood of hers.

"He needs to hear this Mitch," Valentina responds, "You are in the end of the world.  You survived zombie attack after zombie attacks.  Even now all of us are perplexed about the fact that you survived.  But I knew you.  Regardless of whether we were compatible or not I knew that Alaric West wasn't the type of guy to give up.  I was convinced.  But here you are...giving up right now.  After all you survived you just going to sit in this room and give up on the man you love."

"I'm not FUCKING giving up," I state, "They are engaged.  Everyone has moved on without me.  You are with Power.  Mitch is with Quest.  And Sunday is with my fucking brother.  What the fuck do you want me to do?"

"Fight," Mitch states.

Mitch's voice is low.  Real low.  He's always had a real low voice.  When I look over at him I can't even try to be anywhere near as aggressive as Valentina.  He's one of those guys who you just don't get aggressive with.  Our eyes connect and I can see this real dedication in him.  He was a good guy and him saying what he was saying made me think that Valentina had a point.

"Ex---excuse me?" I ask.

"Stop being a pussy," Mitch states, "And fight for what you want.  Hiding in here isn't going to get him back."

I am lost for words when Mitch is calling me out.  I just stare not knowing how to respond.  Did Mitch, of all people, just call me a pussy?

For some reason it hits me harder than anything has hit me before.  Mitch was the coward in high school who got picked on everyday by Michael Power.  He never stood up for himself.  I was the guy who told people to leave him alone and let him live his life.  Now the tables had turned.  I was that pathetic guy, as Valentina stated.

And maybe Mitch had a point.

Maybe me being in here was me being a pussy.

Valentina shakes her head, "Come on Mitch.   He's not here for it.  He might as well be one of those zombies outside sauntering through the world."

Valentina rolls her eyes in disappointment grabbing Mitch by his wrist to pull him out of the room.  They are halfway down the hallway when I run to the door and call out.

"Wait."

They turn at that moment.

I can see Valentina is a little surprised I stopped them but Mitch isn't.  Mitch has this knowing smiling on his face.  I wonder if he knew calling me a pussy would have the effect that it had.

"I need some shaving cream."

~

It's later that afternoon when I walk into the common room area.  Quest is loading one of the guns that he has.  He and Mitch are laughing about something.  Michael Power is packing up a bookbag.  Not too far from him Ignacio is doing the same thing.  Then I see Nixon and Sunday.  Sunday is sitting up on a tv stand in some shorts and t-shirt.  Nixon is between his legs.  He literally has his whole crotch pressed up against Sunday.  They don't even notice me walking in at first.

I can see Nixon leaning over to kiss Sunday.  His tongue is out.  I know for sure he's ready to tongue down Sunday.  They are real close when I clear my throat interrupting them.

Sunday looks over at me.

"Alaric."

Nixon gets the side of Sunday's cheek to kiss instead.  I don't feel guilty about the fact that I interrupted that little moment they were having either.

"Damn..." Valentina states.

Michael Power damn near elbows Valentina's ribs when her jaw drops open to take a look at me and I hear Valentina whisper to Power, "I forgot how fine he was."

I have to admit I haven't looked like this in a while.  I let myself go.  It was natural, but I had gotten it together.  I was able to cut my hair down to a low fade.  I was able to change clothes out of the dirty outfit I'd worn for so long that it literally became like a second skin.  I was able to transform back to the boy that I was before and I recognized those stares.  People saw that I was the old Alaric.  The attractive and confident Alaric.

There's only one person's eyes who matter to me though.  It's Sunday.  He's silently just looking my way.  I look over at him.  I'm not trying to hide it.  I don't want to hide it.  I don't care if Nixon starts breathing heavy and readjusting his hands around Sunday like he's doing right now.  I want Nixon to know I'm a threat to whatever the fuck they had going on.

"What's going on guys?" I ask.

Silence.  You can hear a pin drop.  It's been a week that I've been here and I've barely said anything to anyone.  Now here I was just dropping in on them.

Everyone looks awkward.  Everyone.  No one is expecting me to be in the room right now save Valentina and Mitch.  Mitch has a smile on his face.  At least I know that he is rooting for me to be with his best friend even if he won't do it publicly.

"We were about to go scavenging," Sunday states, "You should come..."

"I'm sure he still needs rest," Nixon interrupts his boyfriend.

"He looks fine to me," Ignacio states, "He's been here a week.  It's about time he starts pulling his weight.  I'm not taking care of a grown ass able-bodied man."

I don't know if Ignacio recognizes his bluntness is actually working in my favor.  Maybe he wouldn't have said all of that if he did know.  I nod in agreement at that moment when I see Sunday literally whisper something to Nixon.  I'm not sure what it is but I could only imagine because within the next few minutes Nixon walks over to me while the others are preparing.  He seems reluctant to do it but my brothers smiles at me.

"You're going to need a gun," my brother tells me, "I'm sure you know how to use one of these.  You didn't survive this long by tickling the zombies."

I grab the gun, "Not a kid anymore."

Nixon smiles at me, "You'll always be my kid brother Alaric."

I almost lose it on him right then and there.  I don't know what it is about what he just stated that gets underneath my skin.  I want to scream at the top of my lungs "IF YOU CARED SO MUCH THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOUCHED THE GUY I WAS IN LOVE WITH".  I want to follow that up with punching him dead in his face.  Instead I try to remain cool.  I look in the background.  It isn't coincidence that Sunday is looking our way right now without even blinking.

"You don't have to pretend like we're cool because Sunday asked you to," I tell Nixon.

Nixon laughs.  I'm not sure what's funny but then again it's Nixon.

"Stay safe man," Nixon tells me.

I guess he doesn't want to have a fight not with Sunday looking our way.  But the truth is that Nixon and I were going to have to have a long heart to heart about this whether he wanted to or not.  At some point he was going to have to face the music and hear exactly what I had to say to him about him being with Sunday.

Now just wasn't the time.

~

We get out of the bunker through a hole in the ground.  We literally have to climb up the ladder to do it.  They seem to have this thing down to a fucking science when we get out and see this slight wood area around us. I'm not surprised when Ignacio is the first one out of the whole before signaling to Quest and Power.  With me gone I didn't doubt they would make him their official leader.  The way the others nod at his silent orders makes me think that he might as well be wearing a badge that says Captain Ignacio by now.   Quest and Michael Power take the lead grinding through the trees with knives.

I watch as Quest dodges through the trees, sneaks up behind a Zombie and thrust his knife through the zombie's head from the back.  The puncture from his incision is so powerful that his knife get's stuck in the back of the skull.  Once the zombie is down he kicks off the zombie's back to get his knife out.

Michael Power does the same thing only he does it front, pricking first with a soft blow right below the ear and then another one gashing right into the eye.  Blood shoots out and Michael Power laughs a little bit like he's enjoying it a little bit.  It's kind of annoying honestly.

Ignacio must notice me watching the boys clearing our path because he comes up to my side as we're walking, "Stabbing is preferred.  Bullets are limited.  Besides the zombies are slow during the day.  They get more active at night.  It's easier to just stab `em.  Keep it moving.  But we have rules, you know?  You only stab when the zombies alone.  Any more than 3 zombies you definitely want to just try to avoid them."

"You guys have a good system."

"You're group didn't have a system?"

"Not really.  Then again my group didn't survive."

Ignacio doesn't change his expression. The fact that he was here talking to me right now said enough, "You're strong man.  It's probably why I hated you so much.  I've always been the leader.  I've always called the shots.  And I worked so hard at it.  Then here comes this guy who just naturally has it.  So don't sleep on your talents man.  None of us would have survived out here as long as you did.  I'm sure of it.  Regardless of the system we have, it's stronger with you a part of it."

I want to be grateful that Ignacio is actually being nice to me but I look forward and notice Sunday with Nixon.  They are ahead of us.  They've found a road that leads out of the woods.  It looks like it's going East.  When we get to the road I can see some abandoned cars and just the familiar feeling of lost and abandonment all around us.   There are zombies every now and then but the group takes care of them relatively fast.  Luckily the stampede has passed the area...for now at least.

It's clear Nixon feels safe.

Nixon has his hands over Sunday.  You would think they were fucking strolling through a park instead of scavenging in a zombie-infested wasteland.

"It bothers you doesn't it?" Ignacio asks.

"I love him," I admit to Ignacio.

I don't know why I say it.  I don't know why I think Ignacio would give a fuck.  My feelings just keep building up every time I see them next to each other.  Jealousy is a hell of an emotion.  I just keep feeling how it should be me.  How I was so sure it would be me here living in this fucked up world with Sunday as the one thing to keep living for.  Now I had to survive seeing him with someone else.

"This relationship shit is stupid," Ignacio states, "You want my advice?  Take those feelings, jack off and keep it moving.  All these relationships are weakening the group."

"People have needs."

"You can have sex without emotions," Ignacio responds, "You remember that night."

"Don't fucking mention that."

I look around.  We've come across what looks like a pedestrian mall or something.  There are all these store fronts and an empty parking lot.  Valentina and Mitch are looking in the empty cars.  Sunday, Nixon, Quest and Power are going from store to store looking through the windows seeing if there was anything useful that would require entering in.  Everyone was on a mission and everyone was focused.  I was lucky for that because I didn't want anyone overhearing what Ignacio just mentioned.

Ignacio shrugs, "Relax.  It's not like anyone knows about what happened that night between us.  It's completely normal.   You were thinking about Sunday.  I was thinking about Sunday.  We were both alone and fantasizing about being with him.  We both got hard and we just you know...helped each other out."

"It wasn't sex.  We just...gave each other a hand job."

"Whatever you want to call it man.  I'm not sweating it.  I was just making a point.  I'm not going to tell Sunday.  The secret is safe with us."

Safe.

I stare over at Sunday right now.  Nixon is whispering something in his ear.  He points over at one of the back alley. My heart throbs wondering if Nixon is trying to sneak off with Sunday while everyone was busy looking for supplies.  It could honestly be something completely different but I couldn't take it.  I couldn't take it if they left together and dodged behind an old dumpster to have a quickie.  I couldn't handle something like that.

Whatever they are about to do is interrupted by Michael Power though.  He walks over and seems to be telling them to come with him to check out a store.

"One person knows..."

Ignacio looks over at me, "You told someone, didn't you?"

"I thought he was my friend."

"You told Michael Power," Ignacio calls me out.

Michael Power was my best friend for a while.  I was dumb in high school.  I didn't know who I could trust and I was struggling with my feelings with Sunday.  The hand job moment I had with Ignacio only complicated it.  I had no one to talk to.  I know that Ignacio wouldn't understand.  He seems annoyed.  He's not the type of guy who needs to go talking about things like that to get his feelings out.  He just keeps shit like that in.

"He's following goddam Nixon now like he's the second coming of Christ," I state shaking my head, "Quest isn't any better."

Ignacio shakes his head, "This is why these relationships are a waste.  We need to focus on surviving. This high school drama, it's no good, none at all, it's going to be the death of us...you can quote me on that."

"So you never think of Sunday?" I ask.

"It's the end of the world.  Would I fuck him?  Hell yeah," Ignacio states, "I say that as a straight man.  Hell even if you wanted to revisit that moment we had..."

Was Ignacio offering me some sort of sexual service?

I shake my head almost immediately.

"I'm holding out on Sunday man."

"I don't get it," Ignacio states, "But I respect it.  To answer the question that I had before.  Would I be hugged up with him like Alaric is...no.  I'm not even your brother saying that.  Sex is one thing.  We all have needs and there's not a lot of us left.   What Nixon did though I'd never do.  Nixon fell in love with your brother.  He crossed the line.  Sunday missed you.  He loved you.  And he got with Nixon cause he thought you were dead after I finally told him my mother took you away.  Nixon was the closest thing to you and he took advantage of that to get exactly what he wanted.  And what he wanted was Sunday."

I don't know if it's because I turned down the whole handjob thing but Ignacio definitely was opening up move than he's ever done.  And right now it was clear that he had real contempt for what Nixon did.

"Thanks."

"Don't thank me.  I don't care that you're feelings were hurt.  I care that your brother took advantage of my friend while he was hurt."

The moment is interrupted by piercing scream.

The scream impales the air, penetrating their eerie since of dread through the streets!

It's a male scream.  I turn at that moment and see Mitch.  Mitch is standing over by one of the cars and it looks like something is attempting to pull him in the car.  Mitch has set off a fucking car alarm!  I don't know what gets over me at that moment but I start running towards him as fast as I can.

Mitch roars out in pain!

I hear Ignacio to the side of me.  He's running as fast as he can.  Across the parking lot the others are heading our way as well.

"It's going to bite me.  It's going to bite me!"  Mitch is screaming out.

"Baby, stay calm.  Oh fuck, stay calm!"  Quest offers back.

They are panicking.  I can see them attempting to pull Mitch's arm out of the car but it isn't working.  They can't shoot the zombie because Mitch is in the way.  They can't attack the Zombie because the window is almost all the way up.  Mitch's hand is stuck in car.  He's going to get bitten if we don't do something.  He's going to be turned into a zombie if we don't fucking do something now.

I look over at Sunday.  I can see him tearing up fiercely.  He's unsure how to help his friend and we all know what is going to happen once that Zombie's mouth makes contact with Mitch's skin.

"PULL harder!" Ignacio is stating.

Him and Quest gather around Mitch.  Michael Power is aiming him gun trying to see if he could get a clear shot.  None of it is working!  None of it.  Mitch's arm is stuck in the car and there is only one thing I can think about doing.

I look around for something strong.  Something heavy.

I see shopping cart.

I go to the front of the car and luckily it's one of the ones where I can pop the hood.   I disconnect the battery and locate one of the airbag triggers in the front of the car.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Quest asks me, "Help us.  We need your strength here."

I ignore Quest.  I have to at that moment.  I dig until I find the actual metal module that is the chemical airbag inflator and I then splice into the two power wires connected to it.

The airbag goes off.

I can hear the crackling of Mitch's arm as the airbag hits the zombie clear in the face.  I literally hear his bone break from the impact of the airbag going out on an arm that was already locked in a compromising situation.

"PULL!" Ignacio instructs the others.

They manage to pull Mitch out of the car.  The kid is screaming in pain.  His arm is bent some weird odd type of way and it's clear the bone isn't anywhere near where it should be.  Mitch's screams are drawing the zombies.  I turn around and notice a swarm headed our way.

"You need to shut him up," I state.

"Shut him up?  YOU BROKE HIS FUCKIN' ARM!" Quest yells.

He's loud. Too loud.  I turn to the right.  They may have a system but it's clear this group hasn't survived out in the real wild yet.  It's clear they don't know how the zombies work.  It's clear they haven't really dealt with a serious emergency from all the noise they are making.  The zombies are being alerted.  A swarm is forming.  Several dozen zombies coming out of everywhere.  They are coming out of some of the abandoned cars, some are coming out of the abandoned buildings.  Others are slowly making their way over from the woods.  They are moving faster than usual, hungry because there is a group of us here instead of just one or two.

Mitch continues to scream like hell from his arm.   Quest just enabled him like an idiot.  It isn't until Ignacio pushes Quest off completely and shoves his ripped off sleeve into Mitch's mouth to silence him.

"He saved his life," Sunday interrupts.

I'm not imagining it when Sunday is so grateful that he runs over to me and hugs me.  He literally squeezes me.  I didn't expect a thanks from Mitch.   He was too busy screaming.  I didn't even expect one from Quest because he was too dumb to realize I just saved his boyfriend from being bitten.  But when I got one from Sunday it's as though nothing even matters.

I let him plant his head in my chest.  I squeeze him from the back.  It feels so perfect.  It feels so real.  His heart is against my heart.  Together it seems like our hearts are beating as one.  It only last a minute but it's a minute that is the best that I've had in a long time.  Nothing matters.  Not Nixon staring at our random embracing in this parking lot like it's the worst thing in the world.  Not the zombie swarm headed our way.  Not Mitch's screaming.  Not even the weird sound of a helicopter flying over head.

"What is that?" Sunday states, pulling away from me slightly.

"A helicopter."

"CDC...CDC!"  Valentine is screaming, "I saw them in Atlanta.  The same helicopters my mother had.  The Neo CDC found us. Somehow they found us!"

More screaming.  More panicking.  How this group lasted this long was beyond me.  Ignacio was right about the group.  They weren't ready.  None of them were.

"Split up," Ignacio states, "They can't follow all of us.  We need to make sure they don't identify Sunday.  We need to make sure they don't find the bunker.  Don't return until you're completely safe."

I don't' know how it happens when the group splits up.  It's so much chaos.  I turn to my right and see Ignacio running off with Mitch in his hands.  I see the others splitting up into different groups as well.  That's when I see Sunday making a run for it down an alleyway.  Nixon is close behind him.

"NOT THAT WAY!" I scream out.

They don't hear me.  The helicopter overhead is making too much noise.  The swarm of zombies is making too much noise.  The worst thing to do is going into an alleyway.  I learned that the hard way in my old group.  You always wanted to stay in an open field where there was no chance of you running down a dead end.

I had to do it.  I had to run after him, even if he was with Nixon.  I had to make sure he was OK.

I follow Nixon and realize that they have run down a dead end.  As I make my way down the alleyway it's clear we can't come back from where we came from.  The dead have swarmed all over the entrance.  I am barely able to follow them down the alleyway.  At the end of the alley between two stores is a fence.  It's has barbed wire on top of it.  You couldn't climb over.

"Go...squeeze!" I hear Nixon stating.

I'm not sure what he's trying to do until I get closer and see that he's pushing Sunday underneath the fence.  The hole is barely big enough to get Sunday through but Nixon is trying his best.

I take out my gun and start shooting at the group of zombies that are approaching us from the opening of the alley.  We are between the fence and the alley.  After shooting enough I realize I don't have enough bullets to clear a path.  The fence at this moment seems the only way to get out but the hole is so little.

"Hurry up!" I shout at Nixon and Sunday.

Sunday squeeze through ripping and bleeding on the fence just to squeeze past.  And as he does it I turn to see that he's not even in the best position.  On the other side of the fence another swarm has started.  More zombies.  Way too many.

"Run..." I state.

I don't think I say it loud enough.  I should have said it louder.  He didn't enough chance.  Whether he heard me or not doesn't matter because Sunday turns and sees the zombies.  He turns back to the fence.

"I'm not leaving you," he states.

He's looking at me when he says it.  He isn't even looking at Nixon.  I don't know if he means to do it.  Maybe it's an oversight.  But I definitely see that he's looking at me when he says that.

Nixon calls for his attention, "Sunday you're the important one.  Get out of here!  NOW!  Before they rip you apart."

Sunday doesn't have much time to argue.  He doesn't have much time to think.  He takes off running, leaving us with all this reluctance in his eyes.  The zombies swarm on the other side of the gate.  I look over at Alaric.  He looks over at me.  Sunday was gone.  Hopefully he was safe, but regardless he was in a better situation than we were right now.

"We're surrounded," Nixon tells me.

He was right.  Zombies to our front.  Zombies to our back!  The route under the fence was blocked off now.  There was no way out.  I wonder if this was how I was going to die.  Stuck with a brother that I had an issue with that was never resolved.

"Thanks for helping me save him," I state.

"I love him," he tells me, "Of course I want to save him."

Hearing those words hurt at first but I understand.

"I love him too," I state.

For a moment it seems like we have an understanding.  We were brothers at the end of the day.  We were brothers who just so happened to love the same man.  It cause drama but at the end of the day the West Brothers always wanted to be heroes.  Whether in movies or in real life.  We always wanted to be those guys that would save the day.  We grew up playing cops and robbers and we would argue on who got to be the cop.  No one wanted to be the bad guy.  That's just how we were.  We always wanted to make the best decision.

And I think we know helping to save Sunday was the best decision we made in this alley.  If I was going to die, at least I was going to die knowing that my brother remained true to himself.

"Wait..." I state, "There..."

I notice a pipe hanging off the side of the store.  It's dangling but it might just be sturdy enough to jump on and get to the roof.  A normal person wouldn't make it but we were athletic and back in the day we always used to help each other jump to get up to our rooms when we sneaked out and mom was asleep.

"Back like the old days?" Nixon asks.

I nod, "Yeah, sneak-in mode."

Nixon laughs.  It's an odd time to laugh.

I go against the wall.  We don't have much time.  Nixon positions himself and runs towards me...full speed.  He jumps and his heel hits my palms.  I lift with all my strength sending my brother spiraling up to the pole above us.  I look up and see that he's managed to get to it.

Nixon climbs up to the roof.

Then he offers me his hand.

I run back and make a mad dash kick up against the wall until I get his hand.

"OK pull me up," I state.

Nixon is holding onto my hand but for some reason I notice something weird.  Nixon isn't pulling.  Not like he should.  He just holds me there seeming to be in deep thought.

I'm just dangling there with zombies gathering below me in a swarm.

"What the hell are you doing Nixon?" I ask, "PULL ME UP!"

Nixon looks at me.  His mind still thinking.  And then he does something that I couldn't imagine he would do...even in a situation like we were in.

Nixon releases his grip on me.

He intentionally releases me and allows me to fall down into the swarm of zombies below.

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