Sweet Sixteen
by tim
I know that I may be spreading myself thin with a fifth story on Nifty, but when I came up with this idea it seemed like so much fun that I couldn't resist it. This will definitely be my last active story on Nifty until some of the others have been finished. This one is based upon myself, and is my fantasy of what I might have been like as a kid if I'd had the knowledge that I have now.
This story is © 2004 by tim and is protected by copyright law. Please do not copy, or post this story to other sites without the author's permission. This story is part actual memories and part fiction. Names have generally remained the same unless the character is someone that I have actually done things with, or someone that I would have liked to and wrote it into the story. Although the actual small Michigan town that the story takes place in will not be mentioned by name, those who know the area of Michigan where the story takes place may be able to figure it out. Thankfully this story will definitely contain sexual situations between teen males, although they may be enhanced. heh-heh. I would love to continue this story, but it depends on the response I get. Please remember the story has been written in the first person, and it is my first attempt at doing so. Send all comments to: Timthestoryguy10@cs.com or timthestoryguy@hotmail.com . If you send mail to the cs address, I will definitely get it. If you send mail to the hotmail address, I may or may not get it. I hope everyone enjoys this.
Other stories by tim the story guy on Nifty:
Sweet Sixteen - NEW STORY not yet placed
Starting Over* - in the no-sex section (last update 10/08/04)
Training Day - in the adult/youth section (completed 9/17/04)
What A Gas! - in the adult/youth section (last update 10/05/04)
Allen & Allen 2 - in the high school section (last update 10/08/04)
No One Else - in the high school section (last update 10/05/04)
Fate - in the high school section (completed 5/21/04)
*Although Starting Over is in the no-sex section of the archive, it will eventually contain sexual situations between teen males.
Sweet Sixteen - by tim
Chapter 1
Have you ever heard the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for?" I was about to find out exactly what that meant. My name is Tim, and I'm in my mid-forties. Okay, I'm 44. My sex life pretty much dried up when I turned forty, and getting out of bed just isn't as much fun as it use to be. I guess you would call it a mid-life crisis. Anyway, it's September 16th, and I'm laying in my bed to go to sleep.
"I wish I could be sixteen again, and that time would stop passing so I don't have to get this old again." I said to myself, before drifting off to sleep.
The next morning when I woke up I said, "Something doesn't feel right. What the hell is going on?"
"You better not let mom hear you talking like that Tim!" said a young voice from across the room.
"What the fuck was that!" I exclaimed.
"Oooh," said the same voice, "he's moving up to the big time. What's wrong with you Tim?"
"I don't know." I said. "My head don't feel right, my bed don't feel right, my voice don't sound right, and I could have swore I went to sleep by myself last night."
The voice then got out of his bed on the other side of the room, and turned on the light switch. I was horrified to see my younger brother Deano, who is two years younger than me, standing by the light switch. The real problem was, he couldn't have been more than fourteen.
"Oh-oh!" said Deano. "I think Tim has finally lost it. It had to happen eventually. I'll get mom to call Kalamazoo and have the wacky wagon stop by."
Now I was starting to become scared. "Deano???" I asked. "It can't be you. You're married and living in South Carolina. What's going on here?"
"Shit!" exclaimed Deano. "You really have gone out to lunch, haven't you Tim?"
"This has got to be a really bad dream." I said, with panic in my high pitched voice. "Please, you have to wake me up Deano!"
"Tim, you're starting to scare the shit out of me." said Deano. "I'm gonna tell mom if you don't knock it off!"
"What day is it?" I asked.
"It's Monday you dork," said Deano, "and we have to start getting ready for school."
"I mean the date!" I said. "What date is it?"
"It's September 16th, 1976." replied Deano. "Now knock it off before I get mom to whoop you good!"
"Oh my God." I said to myself. "It happened. It really fucking happened. But how?"
Then someone who sounded like my mother, except much younger, yelled from the kitchen. "You boys better get ready and catch that bus. I can't take you to school today, and Willard will whoop you good if you miss school for no reason."
I was in a real panic now. I couldn't go to school, not at 44. I've forgotten most of what I use to know from school. But it seemed as though there was no way anyone was going to believe me. Then I got out of the bed and looked into the mirror. I wished I hadn't done that, because looking back at me was a boy with thick, long, brown hair.
I staggered into the kitchen and said, "I don't feel too good mom."
I must have been as pale as a ghost from shock, because my mother instantly believed me. The shock of seeing her didn't help much either. Her hair was long and mostly brown, and she appeared to be in her mid-forties. The next thing I remember was waking up in my bed, in my childhood home.
"Okay Tim honey," said my mother, "we're going to see the doctor now. Get up and get ready."
"I don't wanna see the doctor." I said.
"I know you don't like doctors much since you had your appendix taken out three years ago," said my mom, "but you passed out and you're pale as a ghost. We're going to the doctor!"
I gave up and dragged myself out of bed, then started going through my drawers to find some clothes. "Damn!" I said to myself. "I really use to like bell bottomed pants when I was a kid, didn't I?"
Then I saw something in the bottom of one of my drawers that finally made me smile. It was my first issue "Meet The Beatles" album. I thought back and remembered that later on in the year it would be destroyed by the son of one of my parents friends. "Oh no it won't!" I thought to myself. I quickly got dressed in bell bottom jeans, of course, and my blue shirt with the gold colored zipper and chain. Then I thought to myself, "Great! I look like I'm right out of Saturday Night Fever!" Then I quickly hid the album where no one would find it except me.
The doctor's office was a hell of a lot of fun. I decided that it would be best if I just kept quiet about actually being 44. I didn't want to run the risk of the rumors about the nuthouse in Kalamazoo being true. Finally the doctor was convinced that there was nothing physically wrong with me. That's when the lower head took over.
"Maybe it's something you haven't checked yet." I said. "Maybe my plumbing is messed up or something, and I'm stressed out over that."
The doctor conceded, and began examining me more thoroughly. As soon as he touched my dick, I willed it to stiffen up.
"Well, Your circulation down there seems to be fine." was the only thing the doctor said.
I thought I might be in luck when the doctor put on a rubber glove and asked me to bend over the table with my butt sticking out. As soon as the doctor's finger was inside me, I began clenching the muscles in my butt.
"Tim," said the doctor, "would you mind not clenching the muscles in your rectum around my finger?"
"I'm sorry." I lied. "I didn't even realize I was doing that." Then I thought to myself, "Damn! He's hopelessly straight, isn't he?"
The doctor finally told my mother that he could find nothing physically wrong with me, and it was most likely some kind of stress. He was some doctor to figure that one out! So the woman who looked like my mother took me home, and babied me the rest of the afternoon. That made me think back on my childhood and remember when I had had my appendix removed when I was thirteen. She had taken such good care of me then, but then again I did almost die then. I remembered the night when my temperature had risen to 105 degrees because of an infection, and the nurses and doctors couldn't seem to control it. I had always believed that it was a mother's love for her child that finally caused the fever to break.
At that point I finally began to accept that this may not be a dream, and I may have to adjust to being sixteen again. "Who knows," I thought to myself, "I may be able to change a few things and make this worth it."
Deano was the first to arrive home after school, because my two older brothers both had after school jobs.
When Deano walked in he asked, "Is Tim feeling better now?"
"I think so." I replied. "The doctor couldn't find anything wrong."
"Ha!" said Deano. "I knew you was playing hookey today, or else he didn't check your head. You did a really good job of it though Tim, you should really be an actor." My brother and me laughed for a few minutes before my mom broke in.
"Your brother wasn't playing sick." said my mom. "He really had us worried for a little while. Now, why don't you go do your homework while I talk to him for a few minutes."
"Geez mom," replied Deano, "I was just kidding with Tim."
"Just go on and do your homework honey." said my mom. When Deano was gone my mom sat on the side of my bed and said, "I just can't believe that someone your age would be under so much stress that it would affect them the way it did you this morning, but that's what the doctor said it probably is. Is there anything wrong Tim?"
Oh boy! Where do I start on that one? I didn't think my mother would buy the story about everyone being twenty eight years younger than they should be, so I had to come up with something.
"I don't know mom," I said, "sixteen is kind of a tough age for me. I mean, I'm old enough to drive now, but I can't get my license because you and dad say you can't afford to insure me. Plus I'm looking at graduating in a few years, and none of my friends will even know that I've moved on because I don't see them outside of school anyway."
"We've been over this before Tim." said my mother. "Your dad has a large family to support on his income. Things are already pretty tight around here."
"Yeah," I replied, "but Floyd and David both work after school, and they don't even pitch in and help with their own expenses. If I could work after school and on Saturdays, I would make sure that you guys didn't have to pay so many of my expenses. I could pay for the extra insurance out of what I would make."
"Well honey," said my mom, "you know there are a few jobs around here close enough where you might get a ride from someone."
"Just farm jobs." I replied. "Can you really see me working on a farm, mom? I was really thinking of a store or fast food place in Mason or Chelsea."
"I just don't know if we can afford to help you with something like that Tim." said my mom.
"You wouldn't really have to." I replied. "Unlike my older brothers, I would make sure that it didn't cost you anything for me to drive and work."
"I'll talk it over with Willard tonight honey." said my mom. "I can't promise you anything Tim, but I'll tell him what you told me. It's just that you've never really shown that much responsibility before."
"What about the summer before last, when I rode my bicycle nine miles to school and nine miles back every day so I could take driver's ed?" I asked. "I made sure that I didn't put any inconvenience on anyone for that. I know I haven't exactly been perfect, especially when it comes to my temper, but I am trying. I promise things will change, because it really hurts that I have caused you and dad not to trust me like you use to. I'm going to make sure that never happens again."
"Does that mean no more throwing things when you get mad at someone?" asked my mom.
"Absolutely!" I said. "I can't believe you guys never had me locked away for some of the things I've done because I got mad at someone, especially the hatchet incident."
That seemed to have struck a nerve with my mother. Just that past summer a cousin of mine had been following me around all day, calling me names and picking on me. With a nickname like Peanut he really didn't have much room to pick on anyone, but he was still upset with me because our families had gone to an amusement park that summer. It was the first time for me and my brothers, and him and his older sister were told to watch out for me and my younger brother when the parents had decided they needed a break. Both sets of parents were real nervous nellies when it came to rides, so they told the cousins that there were certain rides that they didn't want my brother and me riding on. Of course my brother and me listened to that like any normal kids, and started riding everything they told us to avoid. It really pissed the cousins off because they were slightly anal about listening to every little word that came from the parents. That was what led to the cousin picking on me the day of the hatchet incident. I finally got tired of him and lost my temper, so I picked up a hatchet that happened to be laying on the ground next to me and planted it in a tree he was standing next to. I think he actually wet himself over that one. I knew though right away that I shouldn't have done it, but it was too late to take it back. He went running inside crying like crazy, and I couldn't sit properly for a week afterward.
My mother was still thinking about that incident, so I said, "That was the dumbest thing I've ever done mom. You guys have every right not to trust me after I did something so incredibly stupid, but I promise that nothing like that will ever happen again. I know everyone says that a bad temper is the hardest thing in the world to break, but I really should have been locked up for that one. I'll never let anything like that happen again."
"Maybe you can still change Tim." said my mom. "I would hope that you are serious about what you said."
"I am mom." I replied. "I've never meant anything more in my life."
What my mom didn't realize was that I had already broken myself from my bad temper. It took a lot of work on my part, and years of retraining myself, but I had finally managed to get my temper under control. I was now at the point where it's almost impossible for me to lose my temper, and when I do I know enough to immediately go somewhere where I can be totally alone for a few hours. Hopefully I could now get my parents to believe that, without going into too much detail about how the change had happened.
"I'll talk to Willard tonight," said my mom, "and we'll see what happens, okay Tim?"
"That's all that I ask for." I replied. "Just at least give me a chance to prove myself to you again."
My mom gave me a warm hug and left the room. Now I had to get use to the idea of going to school tomorrow. It will be the first time in twenty six years, and I know that it's really going to be an experience. Now I have to remember where I use to hide my smokes around the house, because I really need one. My parents were both heavy smokers and couldn't keep track of how much they smoked, so I would sneak a pack from their drawer when they weren't looking and hide them somewhere in the house where no one could find them. It was just a matter of what hiding place I was using right now. After a brief search I had found them, then went somewhere where I could be alone for a few minutes. I didn't smoke much when I was sixteen, probably a pack every three weeks, but that one was one that I really needed.
After the smoke, I decided to take care of another urgent matter while I was alone. I took my dick out of my pants and began stroking it. At first it felt really weird to be stroking the dick of a sixteen year old, even though it was my own. It felt so incredibly good though, that I soon got over how weird it felt. I noticed immediately that my erect dick had a lot of sensations in it when I was sixteen. I was starting to enjoy jacking off more than I had in quite some time as I built up to my orgasm. Then it overtook me, and I was not prepared for how it felt when I was a kid. I thought for sure that my whole body was going to shoot from my hard, throbbing dick. Then I began shooting as I clenched my teeth and said, "Oh fuck!" Several ropes of cum shot about three to four feet from my dick, then the rest splattered against the ground in front of me. Man, I could really blast a few shots when I was a kid! It took several minutes after I stopped cumming for my knees to stop shaking enough to return to the house. It was the best orgasm I could remember in a long time. "I can't keep wasting this on myself." I thought. That was one thing that I had to change.
That evening was a typical evening at our house when I was a kid. My oldest brother, Floyd, was being the typical boss over us kids. It had always been that way, but he really took it seriously when he turned eighteen. Then there was my older brother Dave, who always loved to see if he could make me lose my temper. He didn't hate me or anything, it was just his hobby. Finally there was my younger brother Deano, who followed me around constantly. I never minded that though. I loved how he seemed to look up to me more than my other brothers, and now I was going to start giving him a better example to follow.
When the evening drew to a close and I still hadn't woke up from this dream, I realized that it really wasn't a dream. This was my life now, and I was going to have to make the best that I could of it. I had a lot of weird dreams that night. The worst one was where I was sixteen, but my hair had thinned and began to get a few gray streaks overnight. Then I was left to explain that to everyone. Fortunately that one was dream though, and I awoke the next morning to find myself as the cute little kid that I had always remembered.
I got up and showered that morning, then dressed in the disco outfit of the day. "I really should do something about my wardrobe!" I thought to myself. Then I nervously awaited the arrival of the school bus. As the bus turned the corner onto our road Deano looked as chipper and happy as ever, and I felt like I was about ready to puke! I did manage to make it onto the bus without throwing up though and headed toward the back, with Deano right behind me. David would be driving to school like he usually did since getting his truck, but didn't like me and Deano tagging along so we were stuck with the bus. At the next stop we were joined in the back of the bus by Deano's best friend, Doug.
"Hey Tim!" said Doug. "So you got out of school yesterday. You lucky dog!"
"This is it." I thought to myself. "Now I have to start talking to other kids without them thinking that I'm a freak."
"Woof, woof!" I replied.
Everyone in the back of the bus began cracking up, so the first real test was over. I had to admit that it was really fun talking again to all of the kids I use to know. It was beginning to look like things might work out better than I had hoped as me, Deano, and Doug sat in the back of the bus trading wisecracks. I began to remember how popular my younger brother was as we were joined by two brothers named Tom and Mark at one stop, then another boy named David a few miles later. Shortly after that we picked up a kid in my grade who was also named Tim, who headed back to sit next to me. We seemed to be in the middle of a contest over who could grow their hair the longest by graduation next year, with Tim being slightly ahead of me.
"Nice threads Tim." said Tim. "How you feeling today?"
"Better than yesterday Tim, that's for sure." I said. "Did I miss anything by having to go to the doctor?"
"Same shit, different day." replied Tim.
"You can say that again!" I laughed.
Tim couldn't figure out what I was laughing about and gave me a really weird look, so I decided I better stop. We had a good time talking the rest of the way to school, but then it was time to part for the first half of the day. I was the only one in the back of the bus who went to vocational school for half of the day, so when we arrived at school I dropped my books off at my locker and went to catch the bus to vocational school. As soon as I stepped on the bus I was greeted by my best friend Dean.
"Hey Tim!" yelled Dean. "Come over here and sit."
Like I said, Dean and me were best friends. A lot of kids at school had a very unflattering nickname for him because his face was kind of small and he wore braces that caused his mouth to stick out slightly. I thought Dean was really cool though, so when I heard anyone use the nickname I would shut them up right away. Yeah, I did kind of like the kid, but not that way. We had a lot of fun just hanging out together at school.
"Hi Dean, how ya doin' dude?" I asked. I felt like adding, "Long time, no see." but decided against that.
"Dude!?!" exclaimed Dean. "Have you been to southern California lately Tim?" asked Dean. "That's the only place where they talk like that!"
"Oh shit!" I thought to myself. "Wrong time period!" Then I quickly replied, "No, but I thought I'd learn the language, just in case."
Dean laughed as he said, "You are so crazy man! You always have tried to be the class clown. I personally think you're much funnier than the official class clown."
"Thanks man," I replied, as I lightly punched Dean's shoulder, "I appreciate the support. Can I count on your vote in the next election?" Then Dean and me both laughed for a few minutes.
"So, are you feeling better today Tim?" asked Dean.
"Much better man." I replied. "I think I really needed an extra day off."
"Ha-ha!" laughed Dean. "We've only been back in school for two weeks, and you already need a day off. This is going to be a fun year!"
"That's what I hope, man." I replied.
Dean and me laughed some more, then continued to talk the rest of the way to Mason, where the vocational school was located. Finally the bus pulled up in front of the modern looking school building, and Dean and me got off.
"I know you don't smoke man," said Dean, "but do you mind hanging out and talking while I have one?"
Dean had taken up smoking over the summer in an attempt to fit in more with the party crowd, seeing as how they were the worst for using the nickname for him. There was no need to wish him luck with that, seeing as how I already knew that it would work for him and the nickname would soon begin to disappear.
"I might have a few surprises in store for you man." I said, as I took the pack of smokes out that I had snuck out of the house that morning.
As I lit one I heard Dean say, "Cool man! Now we still have a lot in common!"
"Just don't spread it around." I said. "My parents don't know that I'm sneaking into their smokes, and I'm trying to butter them up so I can get a set of wheels."
"Don't worry my best friend," said Dean, "you got it!"
Dean and me had a smoke together, and continued talking until it was time to go in to class. We were both in the same Graphic Arts class, so we spent a lot of time together at school. If I had thought he might be gay like me, I would have come out to him long ago. I knew he wasn't though, so I had kept that secret to myself. Besides, as I remember, I was still trying to convince myself that I really wasn't at that time. Now though I knew better, and things would most likely be a little different.
Vocational school wasn't too bad. This was our first year and it had just started, so most of the stuff we were learning was new to us anyway. The biggest problem I faced that morning was when I learned that the date was Tuesday, September 16th. That one kinda threw me for a loop. How could Monday have been the same date as today? Then I remembered the wish that I had made before going to bed, the night before this whole thing started. Could God really have the power to do something like that? And if so, why was he taking me so damn literally? I had to sit down for a few minutes and think about that, but I realized that the past twenty four hours had taught me that I was powerless to do anything about the situation I was now facing. I also realized that I had better not say anything about the date thing, unless I really wanted to be committed to an institution. Finally vocational school was over for the day, and Dean and me had another smoke before getting on the bus to return to our regular school.
Once we were on the bus Dean said, "It's a good thing you are back today Tim. Tawny has been driving everyone crazy wondering where you were yesterday."
"Oh shit!" I thought to myself. For one period at school I had decided to be a teacher's aide, and was given the eight grade shop class. The shop teacher really appreciated the help because the younger kids tended to drive him nuts. There was one student though, a girl by the name of Tawny, who drove me nuts as well. Apparently she had a crush on me, much to my horror. She was a very nice, funny little girl, but my classmates had somehow found out about it and they usually picked on me to the point of driving me nuts over it.
"Did anyone do me a favor and tell her that I died?" I asked.
Dean laughed uncontrollably as he replied, "Better you than me man!"
"Some help my best friend is." I said, as I watched Dean having fits of laughter.
When Dean could finally sit upright again he said, "Tim, you know I think a lot of you, but I'm serious man. I'm glad she's after you and not me, cause I don't know if I could take that."
"I wonder the same thing myself sometimes." I replied.
After returning to school and having lunch, it was time for the dreaded shop class from hell. As I approached the classroom I could tell that the shop teacher hadn't arrived yet, but I remembered that he trusted me to get everyone started on what they were doing for the day, so it was not uncommon for him to come in ten to fifteen minutes into the class. I was always pretty sure that I helped the man to keep his sanity with that particular class.
As soon as I walked through the door Tawny began waving wildly while saying, "Hi Tim! How are you feeling today?"
A boy named Jason spoke up and said, "I think your girlfriend missed you Tim." This caused the entire class to burst into laughter.
If there had been anyone in that class that I would have been interested in, it would have been Jason. He was cute as hell, even though he was three classes under me. Also, I had had the privilege of knowing Jason from outside of school and he was a fun little dude to talk to.
This afternoon though I replied, "Keep it up clown, and I'll have you come up here and keep the class entertained for today."
Jason's best friend, John, came up in front of me and asked, "Aw Tim, why do you want to call my buddy a clown?"
As John was asking that, I could tell that Jason was sneaking up behind me. Then it struck me! This was the day I accidentally flipped Jason over my back in front of the whole class. After that day he would act as though he were afraid of me, and we would never talk as much as we use to. Then Jason jumped onto my back and wrapped his arms around my neck.
Instead of flipping the boy this time, I reached back and goosed him in the ribs. Then I drew Jason around in front of me and rubbed his head as I said, "Jason knows I'm just kidding with him, I kinda like having him around. Besides, no one could ever be as much of a class clown as me."
Then I began telling the class some of the stories about me from the past. When I told them the story about me swallowing the fly in music class, I had most of them rolling on the floor laughing. As the laughter was dying down someone saw the shop teacher coming, so I tried to get everyone in their seats and acting normally.
"Hello Tim." said the teacher. "I'm glad to see you today."
"I'm really sorry about yesterday sir." I replied. "I kind of passed out yesterday morning, and my mom thought it would be best if I went to the doctor."
"I agree." said the teacher. "I'm glad to see that you're feeling better today."
The class then proceeded as it usually did, with Tawny following me for the entire class. There was one important difference though, I now caught Jason staring at me quite a few times. That was enough to put a smile on my face for the rest of the day.
The rest of the day went by in a haze that I was still feeling from the shop class, until I got to the final period. This class was pretty evenly divided between ninth, tenth, and eleventh grade students. Among them were my younger brother and his friend Doug, plus another boy from their grade named Pete. Pete was one of the nicest looking boys in our school, and there were plenty of times after I graduated that I wished I had gotten to know Pete better. Pete was not the most popular guy in school though, because most of the students in our school thought Pete was gay. To make matters worse, Pete had shown up at school today minus his eyebrows. Doug had been ripping into Pete all day, and was now really going at the boy who looked as though he wanted to die.
"Why don't you shut up and lay off of Pete, Doug?" I asked. "You do know that he has feelings too, don't you?"
"Oh-oh!" exclaimed Doug. "Deano told me how weird you were acting yesterday. Are you going to start that up again?"
"No, I just wasn't feeling well yesterday." I replied. "Pete's a nice guy though, and I don't want to see his entire life being made into hell by everyone. Would it kill you to try to be nice to him, even if it's just a favor to me?"
"I guess not." replied Doug. "Even though that does sound kinda strange coming from you."
"Thanks then Doug." I said. "I do appreciate it, and I'm sure Pete does too."
When I looked over at Pete, he had a shocked look frozen on his face. Finally I had to nudge the boy underneath the table to get him to just close his mouth, but he continued to stare at me throughout the entire class. When class was over I got up to leave, and noticed Pete begin to follow me. After I left the room I wandered over to where no one else would come by, and waited. Sure enough, Pete came up to me.
"Why did you do that Tim?" asked Pete.
"Why did I do what?" I asked.
"Why did you stand up for me?" asked Pete, as a tear formed in the corner of one eye. "No one has ever stood up for me before. Everyone would rather tease me about everything."
"Apparently not everyone would rather tease you Pete." I replied. Then I reached over and wiped the tear from his eye before I continued. "I think you're a nice guy, and I'm tired of seeing the other kids pick on you. I'd rather see you happy."
"Is there any way that you would be my friend Tim?" asked Pete. "I don't have any friends, so it would make me really happy if you were my friend."
"I would love to be your friend Pete." I replied. "Like I said, you're a nice guy. Now, we better get going before we miss our buses."
Pete almost skipped off, looking happier than I could remember him ever being. I laughed lightly to myself as I thought, "Good work Tim. First day back at school and I've already fixed two mistakes." Then I went off to my locker before catching the bus home.
Well, I hope this one goes over well. It's kinda fun taking a little stroll down memory lane. Please send all comments to: Timthestoryguy10@cs.com or timthestoryguy@hotmail.com . Thanks to everyone, and let's see if there's enough interest to continue. Please remember though that this one is part fantasy and part actual past.