Date: Fri, 29 Dec 2023 13:21:15 +0200
From: Daemon D. Hart <daemondhart2@gmail.com>
Subject: The Human Bearer - 36

Copyright 2023 -- Daemon D. Hart

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The Human Bearer

36.

Names kept falling off his lips. "Xeus... Xana... Florent..."

He believed he had to be dreaming because he only had a vague sensation of
his body being immersed in a large mass of liquid, something viscous that
made all his movements slow. But the pain he felt inside his chest was
real. His brain kept replaying the same thing all over again. Before his
eyes, Gamni Gafilos with little Xeus in his arms rose like an ominous
column of alien flesh, throwing his large shadow over him, making him feel
nothing but fear and hate down into the marrow of his bones.

"Riordan." The voice floated to him, and he struggled to open his
eyes. "Riordan, come back to me." The hurt inflexions of the sounds he
heard finally reached him.

It took him so much effort, to do a simple thing like this. But, when he
did, his eyes fell on his master. Xana was watching his face with so much
tenderness that he forgot his pain for a moment.

"No," he whispered, "he took him... the boy... Did you get him? Did you
kill that bastard?"

Xana shook his head. "Easy, don't exert yourself. Your body still needs
some time and healing."

Riordan realized slowly that his body was immersed in a large tub. The
substance around him had to be seth. Nonetheless, he didn't have time to
waste.

"We must catch Gamni, Xana. He has our boy!"

There was no reaction from his alien husband. Only his green eyes seemed to
grow larger. Riordan felt a chill moving down his spine and began to
tremble.

"Don't tell me... Don't tell me that he killed him!"

"Riordan, don't--" Xana struggled to keep him down as he made an attempt to
push himself up and out of the seth bath. "Gamni Gafilos got away. For
now."

"Do you know that he has Xeus? Do you realize it? What it means? Why don't
you say anything? Why don't you say his name?"

There was nothing for him to read on that implacable handsome face. Riordan
heard a hiss and jerked violently. It sounded like when Gamni Gafilos had
entered the cell to torture him by taking away his son. He growled, low in
his chest, like a wounded animal.

"Is he still in pain?" he heard someone talking.

"No, his physical condition has improved to almost normal levels," Xana
explained to the newcomer, his voice even and void of emotions.

"Riordan," the other voice said with authority, making him turn his head.

He stared at Marn Savier, without understand who he was seeing. "You
bastard," he hissed. "You!"

"Riordan," Xana said sternly. "Address His Royal Chancellor properly."

"Fuck you," he howled, "fuck all of you! My baby... where's my baby?"

Marn made the mistake of trying to touch his head. Riordan snapped and hit
the hand trying to caress him.

"You did this! It's because you wanted to use Florent as bait!" The thought
of the friend who helped him the best he could made him choke again. "Did
you save him, too? Or is he of no use to you now?"

"Riordan!" Xana shouted at him.

"We brought him over," Marn replied, without showing a sign that Riordan's
behavior was getting to him. "He shouldn't have survived a wound like
that. But he did."

"And Xeus? My baby?"

Marn shook his head slowly. "He has fallen into the hands of the enemy. I'm
sorry, Riordan. You are young. And Xana, too. You will have other--"

"What?!" He had pushed himself up and he was standing there, naked, seth
pouring down on him, facing Marn with everything he got. "How can you even
say such a thing? My boy is one of yours! Are you writing him off? Like
he's nothing? I thought you cared about your offspring!"

He moved his eyes to Xana, and met nothing but that opaque look, and
something else. As if Xana could barely bear to look at him. But of
course. He had failed. He had nothing left now.

"Get out!" he began shouting. "Why do you even bother?"

"Your shock is understandable," Marn said. "But I must question you while
your human memories of the incident are still fresh. Florent Kasido is
still in critical condition and we cannot use him. You are our only chance
to understand--"

"Understand this! I hate you all! I hate you..." He dropped to his knees in
the viscous bath, his energy drained. He could only tell that he was
crying.

"Riordan," Xana leaned over him, "if you only care about Gamni Gafilos not
getting away with it, tell His Royal Chancellor everything you know."

He registered the way Xana pulled away and then disappeared from the
room. He had nothing left. Xana acted like he didn't care about the lost
Xenolite, but it was something else entirely. A terrible tremble took over
his body. That was where they drew a line, right? He had lost the boy, so
Xana didn't care for him anymore.

Marn pulled him into his arms, a gesture that seemed so out of place seeing
who the one making it was. Riordan felt his head pressed against the Xeno's
hard chest and let all his pain take over. There was nothing for him to do,
Xeus was nowhere he could reach him, kept by arms that didn't deserve to
hold him, watched over by hateful eyes.

He slammed his fists against Marn's chest, but the Xeno appeared impervious
to both his cries and physical assault. He just held him close until there
was no will left in him and broke down in a prolonged sob that didn't seem
to have an end.

Help me, Riordan.

He shook his head although Marn was only reaching him telepathically.

Help me. Don't protect our enemy. Xana's son will be avenged.

"Don't talk about him as if he's dead!"

Marn grabbed his arm before Riordan could hit him in the face.

"Enough." His voice was cold and measured. "Your human foibles have been
entertained enough. I do not wish to force you to deliver all the
information I need. I am still asking."

"He's not dead," Riordan whispered. "Florent said... he saw what the
general was thinking... he won't kill Xeus."

"It doesn't matter. We will have to destroy the general's ship."

"What?" Riordan stared into the stern eyes, not understanding at
first. "No. Xeus is there. Do you want to kill him? Kill my son?"

"He is Xana's son," Marn threw at him. And then, he appeared to show a
shadow of understanding. "Not yours only. Xana's pain is even greater than
yours."

"Is it? He just walked out on me! Don't you think I understand? I failed,
Marn. And I know it. But please, I beg you," he whispered as his thoughts
began to take shape. "Keep me around even if I'm useless as a bearer. I'll
train, learn, whatever it takes. I want to help you catch that bastard and
make him pay. Let me get my boy back. Just... please, don't kill him."

"Let's start with this," Marn said gently. "Tell me everything you
remember. I know it's hard, but please make the effort."

"Of course," Riordan agreed, trying to chase away the tears in his eyes. "I
will do that." Marn didn't contradict him that he was finished as a
bearer. Xana's bearer. Regardless of what Marn had mentioned in the
beginning, about having other Xenolites together. He couldn't see himself
doing that. Not that. He couldn't abandon the Xenolite he hadn't gotten the
chance to hold in his arms. If it was the last thing he did, he would get
the boy back. Even if it cost him his life.

Marn began probing his mind and Riordan didn't offer any sort of
opposition, replying all his questions. The only thing he didn't say was
how Florent had survived. He didn't tell Marn about the sangar Cario
made. It was a primal instinct to keep that hidden from His Royal
Chancellor. Because Riordan believed now that Cario could make something
not even these Xenos could. Florent shouldn't have been alive? That was
what they had said. But he did. And it had to be because of that substance
Cario in his stroke of genius had prepared.

That was all he needed. A shield from pain, and he would jump through the
cold empty space to reach Gamni Gafilos and strangle him until there was no
life left in him.

***

"Kyle," he said once he saw the bot.

"Master Rio." Even Kyle showed more humanity in how he said his name,
compared to Xana, the way he had been when leaving the room and him alone
with Marn.

"I came to tell you that I will live somewhere else on the ship. His Royal
Chancellor agreed. But you've been my friend and I want to do this. To tell
you goodbye in person. Of course, not that you won't see me around... but
you'll probably have another bearer in your care."

"Master Rio, this can't be. Master Xana needs you."

"I don't think so. I failed my duty. And Xeus is now lost. I will not rest
until I get my... Xana's boy back. It's the only thing I have to do."

"Master Rio." Kyle stopped brusquely. And then, using the undulations he
must have learned while self-educating himself, "It's the first time in my
existence since I left the factory that made me that I cannot compute what
happened." There were both wonder and anxiety in how the bot said that.

"Care to explain?"

"You disappeared. From Master Xana's quarters. It was as if one moment you
were here, and the next you were gone. I verified my systems. I sustained a
half an hour blackout. According to the research I conducted, it happened
the same with the entire ship, with all the electronics, all the systems."

"For real?" Riordan wished he knew how that had happened. "But how
come... anyone survived?"

"They shouldn't have. I've run computations over and over again, but
nothing seems right. Of all the knowledge I have, nothing can explain it."

"Gamni Gafilos used a lure, Florent said..." Riordan rubbed his forehead
and closed his eyes. "Something about his telepathic abilities. The general
is capable of much more than other Xenos. But I don't know what. I don't
make much sense, do I?"

"Does Master Xana know of your decision? He instructed me to prepare
everything for tonight. For both of you. Dinner. Further treatment for you,
as well."

"His Royal Chancellor will tell him everything. I don't want to see him."

"Why?"

"Kyle, you make me regret teaching you how to be human."

"That is not something you can take back, Master Rio. What will my purpose
be if not to serve you? I will ask Master Xana to allow me to follow
you. He agreed before."

"I don't think he will, this time. It's different. It's not that I don't
need you or no longer consider you a friend, but this is something I must
do."

"What is? Can you at least tell me?"

Riordan stopped for a minute to look around and sighed. "Marn agreed to let
me be part of the team that will take down Galatea from the inside. If our
attempt fails, he will destroy the ship with the general in it. And not
only him, of course."

"You will be dead if this fails." Kyle remained silent. "Master Xana cannot
agree."

"It's not his choice. It's mine."

He heard the door opening behind him. It would be the hardest thing to do,
to tell Xana goodbye, as well, but that wasn't even a choice, as he had
told Kyle. It was a need that overwhelmed everything he felt or thought.

"Leave us," Xana ordered.

Kyle obeyed.

"I believe you must have heard from Marn by now." He turned to face
his... former master. He hadn't asked His Royal Chancellor about details,
whether he still belonged to Xana or not, but since he was allowed to do
something so terribly dangerous, he didn't see how that could be the case.

"He told me, yes."

Xana made no move to come closer or touch him. He just held his gaze, and
there was nothing in it. Nothing Riordan could read, at least.

"I will bring him back," Riordan said.

"No, you won't." Xana's eyes flickered for a moment, so brief that it could
be just as well a figment of imagination on his part. "You will die."

"Then I'll die trying."

"I see. All this time, you lectured me about love, your Earthian concept of
caring and attachment. If you believed those words when you said them, are
you lying to me now? Or are you simply fickle, just as your species is
known to be?"

"I don't understand you." Riordan searched the smooth beautiful face,
trying to see anything, a sign that he could get to Xana and make him
understand. "Don't you care about Xeus? He needs me." He didn't dare to use
the word `us'.

"Unlike you, I don't experience emotions that drag me in all directions as
they see fit. The boy is lost." A small pause, and then, "You're not."

"What? Is that how little you care about him? After all that talk about
your species and how much importance you place on your eggs? Your future?"

"Little?" Xana moved fast and caught his arm, squeezing so tightly that
Riordan had to set his teeth hard to prevent himself from crying out in
pain. "His Royal Chancellor is correct. As long as you are here, mine, we
can have another--"

Riordan had no idea he had it in him. With a growl of pain, he hit Xana in
the face. He did it so brusquely, so hard, that for a moment, Xana appeared
to lose his balance. Nothing more than that happened, of course. But there
was a drop of blood at the corner of his mouth, and now his eyes burned
brightly.

He expected retaliation, but instead, Xana grabbed him and kissed him hard
on the lips. He forced him to taste his alien blood, but not only
that. Riordan thought he knew his husband, the rationale he used in
everything he did. But this desperation in his kiss was new. Despite
himself, he grew weak into the hold.

"Don't leave, Riordan. We can always tell Marn you changed your mind. I
can't allow you."

"Are you going to keep me here against my will? While that horrible Xeno
has our boy?"

Xana hugged him tightly, showing no sign to let go.

"The only thing that matters is that you stay here, safe."

"No, you're wrong, Xana. I'm not safe. I disappeared from this place we
called ours. Kyle says he has never encountered anything like this. Gamni
Gafilos is ahead of all of us. And I can't let him have Xeus. Every
moment--"

"Stay, Riordan," Xana said and there was a small tremble in his body.

Are you scared?

Xana didn't say anything. Riordan felt his heart breaking, but his choice
had been made.

"Call me a weak human, anything you want, but I have hope on my side. Yes,
hope. Xana, if you..." -- he didn't dare to say the word `love' -- "care
about me, the way you can, the Xeno way, you will let me leave and do what
I chose."

"Do you love my Xenolite more than you love me?"

How could he even ask such a thing? Riordan felt sadness washing over
him. "Yes," he whispered, although it wasn't true. It was because he loved
Xana that he couldn't bear the thought of Xeus in the hands of their
enemy. But how could he explain that to an alien who couldn't understand
love? He loved Xeus because he loved Xana, and there was no competition.

"I will go now," he said.

"I can't let you."

"You will. His Royal Chancellor asks it of you. You can't go against him,
and I'd rather you didn't, anyway."

"No, he will have to take me away from you if he dares. I can't allow
it. You told him all you knew."

"You should be the first to want to go after the general," Riordan
whispered. "How can you let him get away with it?"

"I'm not. I proposed His Royal Chancellor the plan that involves destroying
Galatea. It's the only way to get rid of him."

"That will only make sure that Xeus will be killed," Riordan said. "How
could you even think that, Xana? Don't you care--"

"I care! But only about you! I can't bear another moment to let Gamni
Gafilos breathe! He has the means to drag you away from me. I cannot let
him live. So, give up on your suicidal plan. I don't want you to die."

Riordan used all his force to push Xana away. "I made my choice. And my
choice is your son. I know you can't understand it. I love you,
Xana. Always remember this."

He moved slowly past his master, owner, husband, the only love he had known
in his life before seeing those dark eyes, so much like his, staring at him
over a tiny shoulder. Xana didn't stop him. He didn't move at all.

tbc



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