This Strange World Needs A Kicking! – Ch. 30
By Laura S. Fox
Copyright © 2021 Laura S. Fox
All Rights Reserved
Gay Romance
Intended for Mature Audiences Only
This story will contain graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, strong
language and it is not meant for readers who are less than 18 years of age.
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Chapter Thirty –
Unexpected Guests
Kai barely noticed as
they flew above the large fields of green and rolling hills. They were heading
for Kelonia, and he had never been there, but he
couldn't bring himself to feel the slightest enthusiasm. His mind was a mess. Galien had said something about them being in danger, Pepin
was kind of pregnant or something, and on top of everything, Milo and Tani were there, with him, trapped in a fantasy world, at
least one of them scared shitless.
Somehow, that didn't feel
like such a joyride anymore.
"Galien,"
he began as soon as Adhe left them at the entrance of
a magnificent estate that appeared to stretch as far as eyes could see. "Do you
think those people who had been gathered to fight the dark magic jerks will
know to go back on their own?"
Galien
nodded. "Sebastian is in charge now. He knows what to do. But is this the first
thing you're worried about?"
Kai looked down. Milo and
Tani were following them inside, through the large
wrought iron gates, his best friend mumbling under his breath and trying to
convince himself that he was still dreaming, his sister murmuring short
exclamations of admiration at the incredible beauty around them.
"They marched to war
because they wanted to follow me. I suppose I'm responsible. And it feels
easier than to think about those other things."
"Do you mean, Pepin
having your heir?"
Kai snickered, although
that was totally inappropriate given the severity of the situation. "Heir,
right. I mean, it's not like that baby will be royalty. Obviously, because I'm
not. I'm sure he'll grow up thinking that his dad is a total deadbeat." Hmm,
suddenly, that didn't sound so funny anymore. "Oh, no, I'm going to be a dad,"
he said and slapped his cheeks. "I totally need to pull my act together. I
mean, I need to find work and start saving. Do you know how expensive college
is? I guess he could take a student loan, but those can be hard to pay back--"
"Easy," Galien stopped his descent into madness. "I don't really
understand what you're talking about, but there are things we need to focus on
right now, such as saving our lovers from that woman's wrath. And you." He
threw a quick look back. "As well as Sebastian's chosen and your sister."
"Sebastian's chosen? Do
you mean Milo?" That seemed like such a strange thought. But seeing how Milo
had been just on the point of confessing at the beginning of all this body swap
mess, maybe it wasn't so hard to imagine that. Sebastian must have seduced Milo
so hard. The thought was funny, but again, he needed to stop laughing. At this
point, he feared that it was more like a nervous reaction.
"Milo," Galien repeated after him. He said the name as he wanted to
make sense of it and the person behind it. "He is very handsome," he added
after looking over his shoulder again. "He appears to have much difficulty in
understanding what is happening, unlike you. You truly had us all fooled. Is he
dim-witted, the poor thing?"
Kai bit his lips. "No,
actually he has much better grades than me. It's just that he doesn't believe
that things like body swapping and traveling to other worlds are possible.
Unlike me," he added quickly.
"Oh," Galien
replied, somewhat baffled by that explanation. "Doesn't your world have magic?"
"Nope. Actually, if you
started claiming that you could go to some fantasy worlds for real, you would
be sent to the loony bin."
"Loony bin," Galien repeated slowly. "What kind of bin is that?"
"You know, the place
where they send people thought to be crazy," Kai explained.
"Are you crazy? In your
world? Do you come from a loony bin?"
The path taking them to
the palace was quite long. It appeared that Galien
wasn't troubled about taking the stroll, but Kai didn't feel very apt to walk
so much after all that body-swapping back thing. "I'll explain it later," he
decided. "It's a lot to take in, trust me."
"Astonishing," Galien agreed. "Now allow me to play the obliging host."
An elderly butler
followed by a squad of four maids marched toward them in a hurry. "Master Galien, Your Grace!" The man stopped abruptly and took a
bow. The maids followed his example.
"Mort, I know I have
guests with me, but they're not the usual kind, so let's stop pretending."
The butler straightened
up, and his stern face split into a large smile. He had to be the perfect
professional because he turned all his attention to Galien
after a brief look at the unexpected guests. "Master, where have you been for
so long?" He hurried to Galien and began feeling his
arms as if to check if he was whole. "And we heard about the war against Uxilan! What happened?"
The maids hurried toward
them, and Kai found himself grabbed by a sturdy-looking girl with rosy cheeks.
"I know just the perfect room for you," she said, clearly convinced of what she
had to do.
Milo was taken in hand by
another maid, while Tani had the privilege of having
two maids fussing over her.
"I will let you get
accustomed to your rooms for a bit," Galien said,
"and get some rest, but we will have dinner soon. Then we'll talk about we'll
do next."
Kai totally agreed with
that plan. He was wasted and hungry, and he bet that Tani
and Milo had to feel the same after all the excitement.
***
He couldn't say he was
surprised to hear a knock on the door and then have Tani
burst through it without waiting for a reply. Her pigtails were gone, and,
instead, her hair had been braided into a fancy arrangement. She wore a
beautiful blue dress worthy of a little princess, with tiny pearls woven into
the fabric and so long that it swept the floor. The oversized sleeves were
bunched around the shoulders but then glued to her forearms. On top of
everything, she had bracelets and rings on both hands that looked incredibly
expensive.
"You must be having the
time of your life," he commented but smiled at seeing his sister so happy in
her outfit.
"The maids here are
completely nuts," Tani said and sat on his bed, "I
mean, in a good way."
"Have you seen Milo?" Kai
asked. His sister was taking things in stride, and if there were one thing they
had in common as siblings, that was their firm belief in all the fantastic
things in anime series and mangas. Of course, before
all of this, it was just an imaginary belief. Now they had been both proven
right. Milo, however, was a totally different type of person.
"No, but I heard the
maids saying that Galien and his butler took care of
him personally to help him rest."
"If that old man was in
the room with them, then I have nothing to worry about," Kai said while rubbing
one ear. "Seeing how Galien is--" He stopped in time.
His sister didn't have to know what a flirt the guy was, and anyway, Galien had boundaries when he cared. This time, he cared.
"Who is this Galien dude?" Tani looked around.
"I mean, I got it that he's Sebastian's cousin, but man, the size of this
palace, it's just freaking amazing!"
Kai waved with
importance. "Sebastian's place is even bigger than this. And I ruled there like
for two weeks. Minstrels came and sang songs about me," he added. Well, he
wouldn't say what exactly they sang about, but he wanted to impress Tani nonetheless.
"Cool," Tani whispered. "You'll have to talk to Milo and explain
everything, though, because he seriously thinks that he got naughty with you
all this time."
"Well, that's
complicated." Kai pushed himself up and threw his sister a pointed look. "How
naughty are we talking about?"
"Hello, you can't ask me
that, I'm thirteen--"
"Almost fourteen, and I
saw your secret BL stash."
Tani
sighed. "Well, things got pretty heavy. Milo's seriously in love."
Kai groaned and plopped
down on the bed. He threw one hand over his eyes, and then he noticed the
tattoo. Caught as he had been in everything, he hadn't paid any attention to
his own body, which he was supposed to have been missing all this time. He
hadn't, but his body didn't need to know that.
"What the hell..." He
pulled his sleeve up. "I got a tattoo?!" He stared at Tani
in disbelief.
"Sebastian wanted to be
badass because he saw how completely useless you could be."
"Damn." Kai pushed his
hand farther so that he could see the ink properly. "I mean, I guess it looks
kind of badass. What other crazy things he did while in my body?"
Tani
threw him a sided look. "Can you still smell properly?"
Kai touched his nose
right away. There was something about it slightly different. Like it wasn't so
straight anymore. "What the hell did he do?"
"Got into fights, stuff
like that," Tani replied with a shrug.
"Fights? With whom?"
"One guy called Chet and
some other dudes."
"Oh, I'm so dead. It's official, I'm never going home. I'll stay here, hidden
in Galien's palace. I bet he can afford a
freeloader."
Tani
snickered. "You have nothing to worry about. Sebastian totally beat the crap
out of Chet and those dudes. Seriously, they were crying for their mommas when
he was done with them."
Kai straightened up again
and stared at Tani with squinted suspicious eyes.
"For real? But how? He was in my body, and I can't fight for shit."
Tani
shrugged again. "Dunno. But once he started working
out and watching karate videos or something on the Internet, he got good. Like
really fast. He smacked Chet with a pole right in the face. You should have
seen that," his sister added and laughed. "For real, Kai, you don't have to
worry about those bullies anymore. I think they'll piss themselves if you ever
do as little as breathe in their direction."
"Hmm." That wasn't that
bad. Kai felt his forearms a little, and they definitely felt more toned.
"By the way, did you do
something weird to Sebastian's body while you were in it?"
Tani's
question interrupted his exploration. "I fell off a horse once, but I didn't
break his butt or anything," he said defensively.
"How did you deal with
his royal concubines?"
"There's only one, and I
did nothing," Kai continued to defend himself.
"Ah, that big guy with
unruly hair?" Tani asked.
"By the way, how come you
know so much?" Kai asked, completely unnerved by his sister's knowledge of
Sebastian's affairs. "Did you know he wasn't me, all this time?"
"No, because I just
thought you were being totally weird." Tani hid half
her face to laugh. "You should have seen him, flushing the toilet and shouting
crazy words. He was so in awe of everything. And I got to see who he was for
real only today, when he beat up Chet and his stupid friends. I mean, I knew he
wasn't you not only because you don't know Kung Fu, but also because he made
some awesome things like having blue flames all around him and stuff like
that."
"I bet you wished he were
your brother for real," Kai said, pretty miffed by Tani's
recounting of Sebastian's adventures.
"No, silly," Tani replied. "I know you're a weirdo, but you're my
brother. Although I like Sebastian. C'mon, it's not like anyone could keep from
liking him. He has crazy magic and he looks so cool."
"And I was about to thank
you for still caring for me as your brother. By the way, people around here are
not so crazy about Sebastian, and he's considered pretty much a cold bastard,"
Kai cared to explain.
Tani
pursed her lips in thought. "That's weird, because he seems like a good guy."
Kai didn't know if he
could agree, but Sebastian had been protecting the realm for a long time, and
people of Ifigia could do a better job at being
grateful. "Well, he's back now. And for some weird reasons, he took Pepin with
him and cut us off."
Tani
smiled and nudged him playfully. "Pepin, huh? How that happened?"
Kai grabbed a pillow and
pressed it against his face. "I'm not telling you a thing!"
"Come on, you have to! I
mean, I'll soon become an aunt! I mean, a very young aunt, but still. I can
barely wait to hold that baby. And Pepin is so beautiful. How did you manage to
fool him?" Tani asked.
Kai pushed away the
pillow from his face, only to see his sister's all-knowing smirk. She didn't
know anything. "Well, to be totally frank, he thought I was Sebastian, and he
has always been in love with him."
Tani
gasped and covered her mouth in shock. "And you took advantage of that? Bad
brother." She grabbed the pillow and smacked him in the face with it.
"Stop it, moron!" Kai
protested. "Pepin may look like an angel, but he's a little demon, I swear. He
figured out that I wasn't Sebastian. So he's in love with me now." For good
measure, he stuck his tongue out. "Just so you know." He had no intention to
explain to his sister how that had all gone down.
"Well, I guess that's
good. Are you going to introduce him to mom? Of course you're going to. But
when?"
Kai groaned and pulled Tani by one ear. Usually, he went for the hair, but he was
afraid to touch that elaborate updo. If he messed it
up, Tani would make sure he wouldn't live to tell the
tale. "The answer is not `when' but `how', butthead."
They both fell silent. Of
course, they were from different worlds. If they returned home, he wouldn't see
Pepin ever again. While marching by himself on Uxilan
for what he thought to be the final quest, he had thought himself at peace with
that, but now, he wasn't so sure. After all, he couldn't leave Pepin to take
care of the baby, shard, or whatever, all by himself. It wasn't fair, and not
only. Kai simply couldn't.
***
That had gone better than
expected, but Sebastian didn't care about lingering in his mother's presence.
Conrad stood by his side as Reya gave Pepin a
complete set of instructions regarding the heir he was holding so preciously in
the ice and crystal shard.
"Your
Majesty," Conrad said quietly, "are you all right?"
The question caught him
unawares. Conrad shouldn't dare to speak to him so freely. Yes, he had subdued
the fallen prince, and in doing so, many threats had been thrown around, but
Sebastian thought that a boundary existed between them – one supposed to keep
Conrad from asking such questions.
"Why are you asking?" he
said through his teeth.
"You look concerned and
paler than usually."
"That is nothing for you
to worry about." Conrad moved and placed a hand on his arm. Sebastian shook it
off right away. "I don't recall giving you permission to touch me as you wish."
"Then it is a tale
telling sign that, indeed, you are back." There was bitterness in Conrad's
voice.
Sebastian had felt
attracted to the prince of Estfalia before. He had
felt almost... he shook his head. But right now, he couldn't bear his touch.
Once, because Conrad wasn't the one he desired, and secondly because that touch
carried with it sympathy and pity, two things Sebastian had never needed in his
life from others.
"You will give me a
complete recount of all the mess Kai Martin made out of this kingdom while I
was away."
"Away," Conrad repeated
the word with slight sarcasm. "Have you been on a leisure trip until now, Your
Majesty?"
"Concubine, remember your
place," Sebastian said haughtily. To his ears, he sounded like a complete jerk,
as Tani would say. Maybe he was one, after all.
"I do. I wish I didn't
have to," Conrad replied, his voice low and wistful.
It was evident that Kai
Martin had gotten close to Pepin if the servant had been so foolish as to use
the Shimmering Cavern and its secret powers. But what about Conrad? He could
tell by Conrad's too loose manners around him that Kai hadn't treated the
fallen prince as anything else but an equal.
Which was completely
natural for a teenager from a strange world where royalty didn't keep royal
concubines earned in battle as spoils of war.
"Quiet," he whispered.
"You are tied to me. You belong to me."
Conrad said nothing else.
But he set his chin high, and Sebastian looked at his profile for a moment.
Reya
appeared to have finished instructing Pepin on his obligations and turned her
attention to him once more. "Keep your concubine if you so wish, Sebastian, but
ensure that the Lelian has all the conditions needed
for raising your heir."
"Understood," he said
curtly. "Pepin," he called.
The servant moved quietly
and took his place by his right. Sebastian took his hand, clammy and cold as it
was. He seized Conrad's hand and whispered the words. He hoped that Galien and the rest were far away already. Reya didn't have to know about the unexpected guests. The
less she knew, the better. If he could help it, she would never learn about
their presence and short visit.
When he opened his eyes
again, they were back at the palace, in the royal quarters. Sebastian felt the
front of his shirt. Some dark stains marred the fabric, and there was a small
cut. Kai, as clumsy as he was, must have gotten injured. Nothing fatal, not
that Sebastian would die from something as small as that.
For unfathomable reasons,
a new breed of anger grew inside him when he thought of the boy. Milo was with
him now, and they would be together if Kai wanted. Why would he want such a
thing? He appeared to have developed feelings for Pepin, or was that one-sided?
His servant had a knack for that, as much as Sebastian had always shown his
displeasure with that behavior. At the same time, Pepin was too gullible. Had
he become enamored with the idea that he could have
Sebastian, even if not in soul but only in body? Somehow, Sebastian didn't
think the servant to be capable of such deceit. While he didn't love Pepin, he
had to admit that there was hardly a person in the entire Ifigia
with higher standards when it came to morals. It was the thing he had always
admired in his servant, although never openly.
"Explain," he ordered. He
proceeded to unbutton his shirt while he expected his servant to start talking.
"Allow me to help, Your
Majesty." Pepin hurried to him in the same solicitous and impeccable manner as
always.
Sebastian waved him away.
"I'm perfectly capable of undressing myself." Actually, after spending time in
Kai's body, he had come to appreciate his privacy more. Having servants fussing
over him again would feel irritating, at least for some time.
"Why are you asking him
to explain? You're the one who's been away who knows where," Conrad talked.
Sebastian flashed a look
at his concubine. Concubine. Even the word felt wrong. He no longer needed
Conrad, and yet, he had to reestablish the order of things. That, of course,
meant that he would have to resume all his activities as usual, including
having Conrad as the one to warm his bed. The thought lacked appeal, no matter
how attractive the captive prince was.
But was there anything
else to do? If it weren't Conrad, someone else would take his place. Pepin was
out of the question. He would never touch the servant in that manner. And the
heir to the throne of Ifigia would be an imposter,
with Sebastian's complicity.
"Pepin, start talking,"
he commanded without sparing Conrad another look.
"I'm in love with Kai,"
the servant replied. "Thank you for sparing our child's life, Your Majesty."
Sebastian took off his
shirt, and just as he was about to throw it on the floor for others to pick it
up, he reconsidered and placed it on the back of a chair, under the
much-dumbfounded looks of his audience.
"Your
Majesty," Pepin whispered when he turned toward them.
"What?" Sebastian asked
in an irritated voice. "It's not like I'm about to start folding the laundry
every day."
Pepin blinked once in
confusion and then pointed at him, or better said, at a point under his chest.
"The wound," he whispered.
Sebastian looked down at
the black mark on his skin, stretching thin tendrils around like an exploding
star. "How did Kai manage this?" he asked. It didn't hurt. It was just
something that would disappear at one point.
"He was stabbed by an Uxilan dagger," Pepin replied, his voice weak.
Sebastian touched the
mark. It wasn't a wound. It didn't go deeper than the skin, by what he could
tell. "It's nothing," he said in a neutral voice. "It will probably disappear
in a few days."
Pepin didn't look
convinced, and Conrad appeared worried, too.
"Guys, stop worrying," he
found himself talking in the same commandeering voice but using the wrong
words.
Guys? He didn't talk like
that, but after making so many efforts to blend in with the rest of the young
people in Kai's world, it looked like some phrases had rubbed off on him.
"You talk smack, like
Kai," Pepin said, visibly surprised.
Sebastian sighed. "I
certainly do not. And you don't even know what smack is, Pepin."
Pepin's eyes filled with
something new. "How is Kai's world, Your Majesty?"
"Well, it is incredibly
strange. People have hot water on tap, smartphones that hold all the knowledge
of the universe, and true crime television. But they don't believe in magic,
and if you ever talk back to a teacher, no matter how right you are, you are
sent straight to detention--"
What was he doing,
talking like that? He never mingled with those below his station, not in this
manner that sounded almost... friendly?
"Do they use mice as
weapons?" Pepin pressed. "But why? And how?"
"Mice?" Sebastian stared
at Pepin for a moment. "No, not that I know of."
"But Kai said something
about video games, which I don't know what they are," Pepin continued.
"Ah, mice." Sebastian
pressed his finger against his lips, deep in thought. "A mouse is an implement
attached to something called a computer that runs simulations of battles,
although nothing is real," he replied promptly. "It is nothing like a real
mouse."
Pepin stared at him in
awe, and Sebastian felt a bit good about himself, being capable of explaining
such astonishing things to his unknowing servant.
"A strange world,
indeed," Conrad commented. "But what made it possible for Your Majesty to
travel to it in such a fashion?"
Sebastian's good mood
began to fade. There must have been dark magic at work, so there was no time to
waste on chatting his servant and concubine up about miraculous inventions from
a world he would never get back to.
"I am yet to discover
what curse caused this to happen," he said. "And you two should see about your
obligations. Dismissed," he added shortly.
"But, Your Majesty, my
duty is to serve you," Pepin insisted.
"Find other things to do
than bother me," Sebastian replied. "I can tend to myself without help."
For a moment, he feared
that Conrad would remind him of what a concubine's role was, but the prince
moved away and walked out of the room, following Pepin, with nothing but a
short farewell.
Sebastian sat on the
royal bed and took in his surroundings. The place was familiar, yet still
strange after being away for such a short time. He had been on lengthier
military campaigns, so why did he feel so out of place now?
Maybe because nothing
else had been so life-changing for him, he thought as he lay on his back and
stared at the ceiling. Where was Milo now? Was Galien
taking good care of him? And Tani, too? He didn't
worry too much about Kai. That boy had managed somehow to rule in his stead
without burning Ifigia to the ground. It was a feat
worthy of being recognized for what it was.
But Milo... what was he
thinking right now?
TBC
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