This Strange World Needs A Kicking! – Ch. 9
By Laura S. Fox
Copyright © 2021 Laura S. Fox
All Rights Reserved
Gay Romance
Intended for Mature Audiences Only
This story will contain graphic depictions of sexual intercourse, strong
language and it is not meant for readers who are less than 18 years of age.
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Chapter Nine – Why You
Have To Be Mad?
"Look, Pepin," Kai said
as they got closer to the cave that was letting out the now overpowering smell
of sulfur, "you don't have to come with me. Just wait here."
He dismounted the horse
and pulled out his sword. Like everything else so far, he would wing it and be
fine. When holding court, everything had gone smoothly, right? Getting a dragon
to cry his heart out couldn't be that much a problem.
"No," the servant replied
stubbornly. "I didn't ride with you all this way to abandon you here."
"That sounded almost like
a joke. There," Kai pointed at the cave's entrance, "lies a dragon. A
fire-spitting angry mofo."
"Mofo?"
Kai waved impatiently.
"That's a creature that could turn you into way too crispy steak in a second.
Like this." He snapped his fingers to get Pepin's attention, who was busy
tending to the horse. The animal had sensed the smell, too, and he was showing
signs of impatience.
Pepin finally turned to
face him. "No. You brought me with you." He crossed his arms. "You always enjoy
these things on your own. It's not fair."
Kai could see the other's
bottom lip quivering. It had to be so boring to be a servant, albeit a royal
one. All the other boys got to play with swords and fight dragons, while Pepin
had to do the laundry and cook eggs Benedict or whatever. Yeah, he could
sympathize with that. Nonetheless, he had a hunch now that Prince Sebastian
wanted to keep Pepin safe, and in the off-chance that they ever switched back –
the cold royal must be in his body right now if the rules of body swap logic
were obeyed – he would get pretty pissed if anything happened to his precious
manservant.
"All right," he said.
"Just take the horse... wait, what's his name?"
"Thunder," Pepin replied
and grabbed the reins.
"Cool name. Take him
somewhere out of the way. I don't want him to get scared."
"He should get used to
the smell of monsters. He's not a young colt anymore," Pepin argued.
"Well, he'll get plenty
of other opportunities to get used to that. Maybe start with something easier,
like goblins and such."
"But you hate going
against goblins. You always say that their smell is disgusting and you need to
throw your sword away because nothing takes their stench out of the blade."
"All right, so not
goblins. Trolls?" he offered.
Pepin made a sour face.
"Hey, I'm the royal dude
here," Kai said. "Take Thunder somewhere he cannot smell the dragon so much and
make sure to secure him well so that we don't have to return by feet. That if
you want to come with me, after all."
"Yes, Your Majesty,"
Pepin said primly.
It was a bit of fun to
pull Pepin's leg and also great that he was easy to fool. Kai waited until
Pepin was at a fair distance from him and hurried toward the mouth of the cave,
his sword drawn.
***
The moment he was inside,
he started coughing. No wonder dragons were so pissed off all the time. They
had to live in a dank, smelly place, and heroes and adventurers wanted to hunt
them down all the time.
That was, however, the
highest sympathy he could muster for that kind of creature. After all, they
were a pain to go against, and they were high-level enemies. That meant that he
needed to tread carefully and keep his eyes open.
He walked slowly until he
reached the edge of an abyss opening up under his feet. He didn't need any
light because there was plenty of it coming out. First, he thought it was some
sort of a giant forge, but looking down, he realized that the orange light came
from clusters of fiery crystals. Wow, now that was
some epic loot right there, only if he could figure out a way to pull them out.
Plus, he didn't have an inventory, and his trousers didn't have any pockets.
"What right have you to
stir my wrath, human?" a booming voice asked, coming somewhere from behind.
"Shit," Kai said and
turned on his heels. For a few moments, he lost all ability to speak. Before
him, a giant dragon stood blocking the way he had come from. His scales were
red, and the eyes staring him down were orange like the fire coming from within
the crystals below. "Glad I found you," he said, finally gaining back his
voice.
The dragon loomed above
him, and Kai expected to become scared shitless any moment now. Well, it looked
like Prince Sebastian's cold blood helped a lot because he couldn't feel
anything like that.
"Look," he said, raising
his arms, "I just need a little something from you."
The dragon rose high
above him, so he had to tilt his head back to keep him in sight.
"You need something from
me?" the dragon boomed and lunged, fire coming out his nostrils – or mouth, Kai
couldn't be sure.
He stepped out of the way
just in time. "Hey, is this really the way you treat a guest? No wonder nobody
ever comes to visit."
"You're brandishing your
sword at me and yet, you speak of that?" The dragon launched another attack,
and Kai deftly avoided it just in time.
Oh, right, he had entered
with his sword drawn. Of course, anyone, let alone a dragon, would have thought
he had some not so pure intentions while walking in there. He sheathed his
sword. "Look, I put it away. Can we talk like normal people now?"
He briefly wondered if
Prince Sebastian had any skill in his set regarding high-level speech because
this looked like a quest requiring him to be clever enough to convince a dragon
to surrender a tear to him.
Like, what was a tear, to
begin with? Practically nothing.
"Normal people? I know
who you are, Prince Sebastian, and I know why you are here."
"Oh, are we playing
riddles? Try me. I'm telling you; you have no idea why I'm here."
He could dance around the
dragon like that all night, but he was starting to worry about how well those
walls could hold while the creature spat fire.
"You are here to destroy
my legacy," the dragon said. "To finish my race."
"Well, that was
yesterday," Kai said. "Today, it's a totally different thing. And really, stop
spitting fire all the time. Why you have to be mad?"
"Mad? Why am I mad?"
Kai put one finger into
his ear and pulled it out quickly. "I think I'm going to be deaf in one ear if
you keep shouting like this."
"I will not go down
without a fight. I see that you came on your own. How arrogant of you," the
dragon hissed. "You will meet your end here."
"Not if I can help it."
Kai hoped he wouldn't get a cramp from all that hopping around. Things were
getting nowhere, and his speech abilities didn't appear to work on dragons.
"Hey, let's just talk."
"Talk about what? How you
want to destroy my kind?"
"Well, I have nothing
against you personally, but you're a giant bird that terrorizes entire
villages, burning them down, destroying crops, and all that."
"Is that what you think?
I only hunt when I'm hungry," the dragon replied.
Kai wondered briefly how
no one had ever thought of using dragons' fire breathing as a renewable energy
source. That would solve a thing or two. "Well, humans shouldn't be on your
menu."
The dragon roared. "I
only ate their goats!"
Goats. Right.
Unfortunately, not the wandering herd, Kai thought. "You ate their goats, all
right. All of them?"
"I was hungry!"
"Man, you have quite the
appetite. Aren't you afraid of getting too fat to get out of this cave? And I
thought dragons ate crystals."
"Crystals? What kind of
nonsense are you spewing, human?"
"Never mind. Now, about
my quest --"
"Your quest to finish me
off?"
"No, if you just let me
talk, you'd know. I'm talking about my real quest, which is to get a tear from
you."
"Ha! You'll never see me
cry! Cut me with your sword, froze me with your magic, drain the last drop of
life out of me, and you won't get a tear from me!"
Kai sighed. "Exactly what
I was worried about. This quest is way too high-level for where I am in the
story."
For a moment, he forgot
to get out of the dragon's way and jumped back at the last moment. That had
been a bad choice because the next thing he knew, he was falling. He extended
one arm in a futile gesture, and vines of ice shot from his hand, wrapping
around the crest of a tall crystal and helping him swing through the air like
Tarzan. "Yippee," he shouted. "I'm so friggin'
awesome!"
He wasn't so awesome at
landing because he began rolling down the crystal cave floor, incapable of
stopping.
When he did stop, he
found himself in front of a giant nest, in which a large egg lay. "Wow, you're
going to have a baby!"
"Stay out!" the dragon
ordered and fired another shot at him.
Kai barely managed to
roll out of the way. "Hey, stop being like this! Aren't you afraid that you're
going to hit the egg by mistake?"
"You humans came in here
and hurt my egg! And you dare to say that I'm the one to blame for all the bad
blood between us!"
Kai had climbed a cluster
of crystals and could look at the egg. Indeed, there was a long crack going
from the crown to the middle. "Oh, no," he said, "is it cracked?"
"Did you come to finish
what the others started?"
"No! How many times," Kai
jumped from one cluster of crystals to another, "do I have to tell you? I'm not
here for that! I just want your tear! A single little tear!"
"You can have it only you
give back to my egg the life you stole!"
Kai stopped and put one
hand up. The dragon stopped, as well. They stared at each other. "Wait, do we
have a deal?"
The dragon huffed through
his nostrils, readying for another attack. "The egg is dying. I won't believe
your lies!"
"Hey, stop spitting fire
already! We can work something! It's just cracked a little... well, a little
more, but it can be fixed."
"How?" the dragon roared
while chasing him.
"I know how!" someone
shouted from above their heads.
Both Kai and the dragon
looked up. Pepin was there.
"Hey, I told you to stay
put!" Kai yelled at him.
"No, you fooled me! Get
me down there, and I'll take care of the egg!"
He saw the column of fire
shooting from the dragon's throat one moment too late. Without thinking, he
began shooting arrows of ice from his eyes, pinning the dragon's wings to the
wall.
"Pepin! Pepin!" he began
shouting. "If you killed my favorite servant, I'm going to turn you into steak,
and your egg into dragon omelet!"
The dragon was whining
and struggling against the ice arrows keeping him in place.
"I'm here," Pepin called
from above.
"Oh, great." Kai turned
toward the dragon. "Forget what I said about steaks and omelets. We're going to
save your egg."
"Don't you dare touch my
egg," the dragon boomed. He started shooting fire again.
That was a problem.
Prince Sebastian's cold blood helped him a great deal, and he wasn't even
slightly hot, but for an average person like Pepin, the heat inside the cave
had to feel hellish.
"I need to come down to
you," Pepin shouted.
"Yeah, but it's not that
easy," Kai shouted back.
First, he needed to put
the dragon's shooting fire abilities out of commission for a bit. He focused on
his ice magic. So, he practically thought of something, and...
"A-ha!" he said, full of
himself. In mere seconds, a vine of ice was wrapped around the dragon's muzzle.
The dragon pulled back
and smashed his head against the wall. Kai watched in horror as Pepin, who
stood on the edge, lost his balance and fell.
He didn't even think.
Blocks of ice rose beneath his feet, and he hopped from one to another until he
reached Pepin in midair and caught him in his arms.
"Gotcha!"
Pepin wrapped his arms
around Kai's neck. His eyes were shiny gemstones in the orange light of the
cave. "Your Majesty," he breathed out.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm
totally awesome. Now let's get to the egg and repair it before the dragon manages
to drop the entire cave on our heads."
Pepin just nodded and
held tightly as they descended. He had his bag with him and began to take
things out of it. In the meantime, the dragon continued to struggle, letting
out muffled sounds of anguish.
"So, about the egg, do
you really know how to do it?"
"Yes, it wouldn't be the
first hatchling I'm saving," Pepin confirmed.
He took one small pot and
filled it with water; then, he used another to throw in some candlesticks.
"I'll clean the cracked part first with warm water, and then I'll pour molten
wax."
The ground beneath their
feet was cracked in places, and small fires burst through them once in a while.
Pepin got to work right away with Kai's help. He quickly wrapped a wet cloth
around the egg while he took care of the wax.
"It's a good thing that
it appears to have been cracked only recently," Pepin explained. "The chick
should be still alive inside. Even with the crack, it probably just slowed down
its heart to survive."
"That's pretty awesome,"
Kai admitted.
"We will need the mother
dragon to light a crystal for us to see the chick inside," Pepin said.
"Mother dragon? Right. I
thought it was a `he'. But, of course, it's a mom."
Pepin poured the molten
wax carefully along the crack. "It should be sealed enough to allow the egg to
get to maturity. Although we need that crystal --"
"I'm on it," Kai said.
He used his sword to cut
through one of the small crystals nearby, and then he jumped on the steps of
ice he had improvised earlier to get to eye level with the mother dragon.
Holding the crystal cautiously in one hand, he pushed it toward the creature.
Large eyes stared at him. Something of the molten lava in them reminded him of
Conrad.
"Look, mother dragon –
sorry about that, I didn't realize you were a lady – you will need to lit up
this crystal for us so that we can check on your chick."
The dragon said nothing
and just puffed warm air through her nostrils. That was like a gust of wind,
and Kai had to fight hard to keep on both feet.
"Ah, you cannot speak, of
course. Here." Kai focused, and the vine around the dragon's muzzle untangled
and fell to the ground.
"You're trying to hurt my
egg!" the dragon roared.
"Ugh, just how many times
– ouch, that was close!" The dragon managed to shoot one flame toward him, and
it grazed his cheek. "If you could just concentrate a little, that would be
fan-frigging-tastic. Look, aim at this crystal."
It looked like the dragon
didn't care about his reasoning and kept shooting fire randomly. However, it
was enough for Kai to move the crystal finally in the way of the flames, and
the object in his hand became alive with new power.
"I have it, Pepin!" he
yelled victoriously.
He jumped to the ground
and hurried toward the servant. Pepin took the crystal from him and touched the
shell gently.
"Wow!" Kai expressed his
amazement as the interior of the egg lit up, as well, showing a small creature
inside. "Wait, how can we tell --"
He sensed the dragon's
wrath and grabbed Pepin just in time.
"Ah, damn, I forgot about
tying up mother dragon's muzzle again!"
Kai was on top of Pepin,
hoping to keep him safe until he figured out a way to immobilize those nasty
fire-breathing abilities before his servant got hurt.
But the dragon suddenly
stopped. "My chick," she exclaimed. "It moved! It just moved!"
"Did you hear that,
Pepin?" Kai shot to his feet and stared in wonder at the illuminated shell. The
chick was moving its little feet. "You saved a frigging dragon's egg!"
"You... you saved my egg,"
the dragon said, her voice suddenly filled with emotion.
Kai rubbed the back of
his head and laughed. "Yeah, I guess we did."
Pepin touched his elbow.
"Your Majesty, fast. Now!"
Kai looked up and noticed
immediately what the servant was talking about.
"Pepin, climb on my back.
We're getting out of here with what we came for!"
Pepin obeyed without a
word. Kai took the vial out of his shirt's pocket and climbed up to the
dragon's eyes. A single tear was shimmering in her right one.
"Sorry about this, mother
dragon, but we need this." He placed the vial right under her eye and caught
the tear.
Pepin let out a small
cough, and only then Kai noticed he was wheezing. He clearly needed out, in the
fresh air. He quickly sealed the vial and rushed upwards, jumping from one
block of ice to another.
"Why?" the dragon asked
behind him. "Why did you help me?"
Kai shouted back,
"Because no egg or concubine dies on my watch!"
***
He held Pepin as he
coughed and retched. Being outside helped, but he didn't like to keep Pepin
breathing in that sulfurous air for another moment. He took the servant in his
arms and rushed as far from the cave's mouth as possible.
"Where is Thunder?" he
asked.
Pepin pointed out with
one arm. "I'm fine, Your Majesty. You don't have to
carry me like this."
"You were just coughing
your lungs out. No way I'm letting you walk. And call
me Sebastian; we're alone now. Ah, do you think the mother dragon will be able
to get out of those arrows I shot at her?"
"She'll be fine. It's
extremely hot in there."
"I'll take your word for
it because we're not getting back there. Now, let's head back home, because we
have someone to save!"
Kai didn't let Pepin ride
in the back and held him in front. The servant wrapped his arms around him and
sighed. "Let's not talk about Conrad until we get home," he whispered.
"Silly, who's talking
about him?" Without even realizing what he was doing, he placed a small kiss on
the crown of Pepin's head.
"Ah, ah," Pepin started
as if he was suddenly in pain.
"What?" Kai asked,
startled by that reaction.
"You... you kissed me!"
"On your head, it's not a
big deal, geez." Kai tried to downplay it, but he knew how that looked.
Like a sign of affection.
Yes, but it wasn't, really, a big deal. It was like a bro kiss or something.
They had just solved a high-level quest, so a bro kiss was okay.
***
Milo stepped under the
shower and threw Sebastian an unsure look. "All right, so this sounded cool and
sexy when I first told you about it, but now, I guess it's pretty cringey."
Sebastian found it
difficult to talk. Watching Milo shed his clothes had been a bit too much for
his, apparently, frayed nerves. He pulled dejectedly at his collar, the hotness
flushing his skin hard to handle. As someone who had never before been troubled
by heat, he was flabbergasted by the shortcomings of the body he was
inhabiting.
"Maybe you could get out
of that uniform and join me. Then it won't feel so weird."
Sebastian debated. On the
one hand, he wanted to watch the beautiful young man's body in full display. On
the other, the offer was enticing. He began undressing, dropping the clothes
all over the floor.
Milo watched him with
hazy eyes. It was maybe an unconscious gesture, but he was biting his bottom
lip, and Sebastian felt rightfully distracted by it.
"I'll still watch," he
said petulantly. "Show me," he added as he stepped under the shower.
He gasped as Milo turned
off the knob. He must have had it wrong because the cold water landing on his
head was an unpleasant surprise.
But no, the mischievous
youth was laughing out loud and sticking his tongue at him. Sebastian narrowed
his eyes. Milo fiddled with the shower controls, and finally, the water was
just the right temperature.
"Why did you do that?" he
inquired, crossing his arms.
Milo threw him a lopsided
grin. "You were too serious. You got me a little scared."
"I'm scaring you? I'm...a
bit shorter," Sebastian admitted with great difficulty. "And you're a bit
stronger. How could I scare you?"
Milo shrugged and then
pulled him close, one arm wrapping around his waist and the other around his
shoulders. "Ever since I confessed to you, you're so, I don't know, intense."
"You dislike me, then?"
That would be both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he would escape
those magnetic green eyes and a curse because of the same reason.
"No. It's just that,"
Milo made their foreheads touched, "before I got the guts to tell you how I
feel, I thought I wanted you. Just that I wasn't thinking about doing naughty
things with you. And now," he sighed, "now I feel like
I want to do everything with you, all at once. Does it make any sense? You make
me... like this."
Sebastian wasn't in the
least surprised when Milo took his hand and placed it over his hardened
manhood. Yes, he always had this effect on the men he brought to his bed, even
on Conrad, who claimed to hate him.
Only that it was strange
for him to provoke the same fascination while in a different body. For the love
of all that was holy, he couldn't understand why Milo was so infatuated. As he
pondered over the mysteries of this world, and particularly this one, he began
moving his hand up and down Milo's stiff member.
"Oh," Milo gasped, "Kai,
what..." He let his head back, allowing Sebastian to admire his stretched
throat and then the water slushing down his chest and abdomen.
Curious with Milo's
tremendous sensitivity at being touched, he increased the rhythm. It wasn't
usually his preference to touch his bed warmers in such a manner, but the
beautiful youth's reactions encouraged him to do more, explore, and enjoy the
effects of his actions on the other.
"If you keep it like this
--" Milo breathed out.
He didn't finish his
phrase. Sebastian smirked as Milo's seed broke free, splashing all over his
hand and abdomen. It was pleasant and rewarding, despite always having liked to
have his lovers spill themselves inside him.
"Oh, so sorry," Milo
mumbled and began to run his hands over Sebastian's abdomen. "I came over you
like a moron."
It was hard to keep a
giggle in as Milo's fingers tickled.
"Next time, you'll do
that inside," Sebastian said promptly. "How it's done."
Milo slowed the pace of
his moves. His face was slightly red, and his breath was still uneven after his
earlier exertion. "Inside? Like inside the bedroom?"
Sebastian snorted. "No,
silly boy. Inside me."
Milo's jaw became slack.
His pupils were dilated, and he appeared to be in some sort of shock.
"What is it?" Sebastian
asked. "I watched videos," he added defensively. Most probably, he was rising
suspicions again by appearing too well versed in ars amandi - a Latin expression he had just learned
and much to his liking.
Milo shook his head and
then pulled him into a short kiss. "Then I'm glad," he said quietly. "It's nice
to know that at least one of us knows what to do."
Sebastian let out a small
exhale. The danger of being discovered was averted for now. Milo's hand was
suddenly between his legs. "What are you doing?" he asked.
"Returning the favor,"
Milo replied and kissed him again, this time more eagerly.
TBC
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