XX11

“Did you find a way out?”

Amethyst runs to the door when Rahmell returns. He looks terrified. Sweat beads are rolling down his forehead. He has this stunned look in his eyes.

It's been hours. The only thing that happened were some Amazons came and took Shaddius. Then nothing. There were silent. Every once in a while we'd hear a gunshot and Amethyst would scream. Rahmell decided to go scout the floor and see what he could see. Him, Amethyst and Quincy were the only ones who didn't have significant injuries. Quincy didn't seem up for it and Amethyst was pregnant. That left Rahmell.

He swallows his spit and looks over at us with a long drawn out staring.

“No. A group of other people were caught looking too.”

“What happened?”

“They told us to return to our rooms,” Rahmell responds.

Karington is laying on the couch, “And you listened? You came back?”

“What was he supposed to do? Argue?” Amethyst asks.

Karington nods, “Exactly. I need a doctor.”

Karington had stopped bleeding. He didn't need a doctor. It wasn't the way he was trying to make it but he was still pretty bad. Two of his fingers were completely gone and his right eye could barely open. I was pretty fucked up too. The physical pain was secondary to the emotional pain I was going through. My mind was racing. Shaddius was dead. I really couldn't believe this had happened. I couldn't believe things just shifted so badly.

Rahmell is the one who answers Karington, “Some guy was out there...in that hallway. He said he needed a doctor. You know what they did?”

“They let him go?” Karington asks.

“No. They shot him. Then they looked over his body and they said...now you don't need a doctor anymore.”

My heart sinks into my chest. I had no idea it was that serious. I knew feminists were bad. I had heard stories but my family had kept me away from them. Little did I know that my family was involved. My grandmother was a part of this. Diamond must have found out what my grandmother was up to. Maybe that's the reason that she put her away. There is a heavy depression that comes over the group. A part of me wondered if I should have left with Opal. A part of me wonders if I should have just taken the opportunity to leave with her.

If I knew this happened I would have.

There is silence in the room.

Karington and Quincy are looking at one another. They are talking in low whispers. Every few seconds they say something and then they turn to me or Amethyst. The look that they have in their eyes is saying it all.

I know what they are thinking and honestly I don't blame them. Amethyst however doesn't seem to feel that way.

“You two have an issue?” Amethyst asks.

“No...”

“Say it.”

Quincy hesitates. He seems a little bit more of the shyer of the two ambassadors. Karington on the other hand doesn't.

“Your country did this,” Karington tells her, “Your country is a terrorist group. This is no different from Jihads.”

“We're all in this together,” Rahmell argues.

“Are we?”

I can't take it any longer.

“I was friends with Shaddius. I watched him die in front of my eyes. Are you blaming me for his death?” I ask Karington.

“That's exactly what I'm doing,” Karington replies.

I rush across the room. All I see is red. I hit Karington dead in his face. I can feel his jaw crack underneath the weight of my fists. It literally takes Rahmell to drag me off of him when he falls to the floor below him.

“There it is. He's an Amazon. He's crazy just like these lunatics holding us HOSTAGE!” Quincy runs to Karington's defense.

Karington has begun cursing. He's calling me every type of fag, sissy and queen in the book. He's calling me it from the ground though. That's all that matters.

I'm taken into the room at that moment by Rahmell.

Rahmell locks the room door behind us.

He gives me this look and I can already tell what he's going to say before he says it, “I'm disappointed in you.”

I don't know what happens at that moment. I break down. I break down and I start crying. I'm crying because of everything. I'm crying because I just watched Shaddius die right in front of me. I'm crying because I'm losing control of this situation.

“Karington is right about me,” I state.

“What?” Rahmell responds.

“It's my fault. I helped my grandmother get a hacker from Shaddius. I came here and basically opened the way. God knows what they are planning on doing with those stones.”

“It's not your fault.”

“Can you leave me alone?”

“No I can't...” Rahmell answers.

He walks up to me.

Rahmell puts his hands on my shoulders.

There is a knock on the door. The person doesn't wait to answer. In the next minute Amethyst walks in the room. She notices Rahmell with his hand on my shoulders. Either she doesn't care or she's pretending she doesn't see it.

“Rahmell they are firing outside,” Amethyst responds.

“What do you want me to do about it?” Rahmell snaps.

I don't expect it. He looks straight up annoyed. I'm just shocked that he took so long to get annoyed at Amethyst. The damsel in distress thing gets old pretty quick---pregnant or not.

“I just wanted you to stay with me,” Amethyst responds.

“Go ahead,” I tell Rahmell.

Rahmell struggles. He turns though. He leaves with Amethyst.

The gunshots last way throughout the night. I'm not sure what the death toll is but it has to be high. This is a massacre and I was being held hostage in this room. The thought came over me. Would they come for us? Would they try to kill us too?

It's in the middle of the night. The shots have finally stopped. There is a dead silence that has filled the convention. There have been no news. We didn't know what was happening outside of our room door. I finally come outside of my door. I've spent the entire day crying about Shaddius. The power is off. The only thing that is running is water and gas. The only food that we have to eat are dried noodles in the cabinets. I walk outside and see Quincy and Karington have taken rooms. A couch has been moved in front of the door to barricade it from anyone trying to get inside of the apartment.

“Are you OK?”

The voice is from Rahmell. He's sitting in the darkness. I didn't even notice him.

“Shouldn't you be sleeping---with Amethyst?” he asks.

“Can't sleep,” Rahmell responds.

He's not the only one. I've been up just blaming myself about everything that has happened. I keep wondering if there was a way of me stopping it. I had suspected something was happening but who could have expected this? This was much worse than anything I had ever imagined.

“Me either. Have they made their demands yet?”

“No. Nothing but gunshots. It seems random. They are just...killing people. We barricaded the door. Luckily the firing stopped. Maybe it's over.”

“Isn't that weird to you? Hostages without demands?”

I can't get over it. I can't get over any of this. I needed to talk to my grandmother.

“Do I think it's weird that my mother blew up a conference with a bomb in her? Hell yeah I think it's all weird. I mean I watched Shaddius die right in front of me? Aw---fuck---”

Just the mention of Shaddius and I'm weak again. I damn near fall over. I lean over on the cabinet and I'm tearing up like a newborn. Fuck. Shaddius was really gone. He was really dead. This was really happening. I had seen my sisters in fights. I had seen little shit. This was just all too real for me. I couldn't deal with it.

“I can't believe this is happening?” I'm breaking down.

I'm drowning in tears.

“Come here.”

I didn't need Rahmell anymore. I didn't need him to be this bigger brother figure to me. I didn't need him to protect me. I just needed to be a man for myself and the first time I came out attempting to do something as a man I ended up failing miserably.

“No Rahmell...”

“Gemmy come here...”

I walk over to Rahmell. He lays in the couch, his back up against the cushion. He lays me next to him, so that I'm facing him. Our faces are close to one another. He holds me like he always does and presses me up against him. I can smell him. Rahmell. Sweet, strong, sexy Rahmell. It drives me crazy having him so close to me. He starts playing with my hair, curling it between his fingers. He is so slow and delicate with it.

“This isn't helping.”

“It always used to help when we were young,” he tells me.

“We're not young anymore.”

“Don't you think I know that?” he asks, “Little bro is growing up right before my eyes. It's kind of scary. I don't like it.”

I have to admit it feels good to be in his arms and pressed up against him. It feels good to know that someone cares about you this much. The way he holds me makes all the difference. The sweet way he brushes his fingers in my curls is doing something amazing to me. I love it. I love it a little too much.

“It's gay.”

I have to admit it.

Rahmell stops at that moment.

“Bro. You were upset over what happened to Shaddius. I'm just trying to calm you down. You don't have to be rude about it.”

“I'm not being rude. I'm being honest. Rahmell. It's gay. It's gay that you are out here with me instead of inside there with your pregnant girlfriend. It's gay that you want to hold me. It's gay that you want to play in my hair. It's gay as fuck Melly. We're not kids anymore. I'm gay now. We can't do that anymore. My dick is hard...RIGHT NOW!”

Rahmell looks at me.

I look at Rahmell.

Like idiots the two of us break out into laughter. I sound like someone who has just been pushed completely to their limits and honeslty I have with Rahmell. I am sitting here and the world around us is crumbling but I'm worried about the fact that my straight friend is giving me a little too much attention.

“I bet you think you told me huh?” Rahmell asks.

“I'm glad you think this is funny giving me blue balls.”

“Are they really blue? Let me see...”

Rahmell wrestles me down at that moment. He grabs at my pants, grabs a handful of my dick and balls with it. He holds it in his hand as I struggle to pull away. The more I struggle to pull away the more he struggles to maintain me. I manage to twist his wrist off luckily and slide to the other end of the couch without saying a word.

“There you go again,” I respond.

“I can't help it.”

He smiles. It's the smile that always gets to me. It's fucking amazing. It's this beautiful bright smile that fills every room. The world stops when Rahmell smiles like that.

“Yes you can. You just wanna be gay,” I respond to him.

“Is this gay?”

Just at that moment Rahmell reaches over in the darkness. He kisses me. He plants his soft lips on my lips.

Rahmell. Just. Kissed. Me.

“Rahmell, you just kissed me.”

“No shit,” He says sarcastically, “Why did Ma Zoe need a hacker? She had a genius all along.”

I let the moment pass. This shit isn't happening. Sure this was just the next level of Rahmell teasing me like he always did.

“This isn't making me feel better,” I respond.

“You're smiling,” he states.

“That's not the point. You kissing me leads me on. I can't live my life chasing you.”

“Bro. You can't chase someone that isn't running,” Rahmell explains.

There is silence.

Rahmell is still smiling. Maybe he's still amused. I'm not amused. My heart is racing. My dick is throbbing in my pants and I'm struggling to keep my knee up so I can hide my arousal. I'm turned on. I'm a little too turned on by Rahmell and I can't fucking help it.

“What would you do if I kissed you?” I ask Rahmell.

“Bro...I just kissed you.”

“Not that bullshit ass kiss. I'm talking about a real one. Not a peck to make someone feel better. I'm talking about what if I put my tongue down your throat.”

Rahmell stands there for a second.

“I'm not running.”

“Bullshit. You're just doing this to try to make me feel better,” I respond.

I can't take him right now.

“And you're just trying to make an excuse. Bro. I've never run from you. You keep blaming this on me.”

I'm struggling with this.

“Blaming what?” I ask confused.

“This,” he states and then points at my crotch, “That.”

He looks amused, frustrated and annoyed. These are probably all the same emotions I'm feeling. When he points to my dick I think it's clear that Rahmell knows what he does to me.

“You did this...you always do this.”

“But I'm not running from you.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means you're finding excuses not to kiss me. I never told you that you couldn't.”

“But do YOU want me to do?”

“I told you that I wouldn't stop you. How much more can I say? I've never experienced that kind of thing before. I'm not sure if I'd like it or not. I'm not sure if I want you to or not. All I can say is you have to go for it. You have to see what happens. I'm not running. Maybe I'll like it. Maybe I'll hate it.”

He's staring at me.

It's hard to exchange his stare so I look down. I look at the walls. I look at the couch sitting behind the door. I look at anything that will take my mind off of Rahmell at this moment. At this moment I want anything there is to take my mind off of him.

“Rahmell I don't know---”

“See. You're still talking...”

“It's just.”

“You're STILL talking.”

I lean over. I grab Rahmell by the back of the head. I kiss him. My tongue goes into his mouth. He doesn't fight it. He doesn't kiss back at first. I notice his eyes are open. Even though he welcomed it he still seems shocked that I'm doing it. He can't be as shocked as I am right now. Like a child he seems to be allowing his mind to open up to this.

The kiss lasts. It lingers. The taste of his mouth is sweet and a little balmy. When I pull back I look at him.

“Anything?” I ask.

He sits there for a minute. Shit. Nothing. He didn't feel a damn thing when I kissed him.

“Are you mad?” he asks me.

I shake my head at that moment. I'm embarrassed. It's exactly why I didn't kiss him. I'm embarrassed because there is nothing there that he feels. He is just sitting there.

“I'm sorry,” I respond.

“Why are you apologizing?” he asks.

“I keep forcing this gay thing on you.”

“Bro. I should be apologizing. I just can't...I don't know why.”

“Maybe you don't want to.”

“No. TRUST ME. I want to,” Rahmell responds.

It's a strange thing he's saying. I look over at him. My heart is beating when he says it to me, “You do?”

“It's not that you aren't attractive. It's not that I don't want this. It's just that my body isn't responding the way that my heart does.”

He's not smiling any longer. Rahmell is just standing there. He's just looking at me. There is an awkwardness all of a sudden.

“You're straight.”

Rahmell nods, “Not when it comes to you. I want this. I want...you. But maybe this ain't what you need man. Maybe I just can't give you what you need. I'm sorry.”

For the first time in a long time I understood and for the first time in a long time it just seemed like it was OK. Rahmell loved me but physically it just wasn't there.

“Can you hold me at least?”

“I can cuddle the fuck out of you.”


========================================================================

I don't know how I fall asleep but it happens. I'm asleep and finally I get some rest. After what happened with Shaddius I'm not expecting it. We are on the couch asleep. I don't know what wakes me up but I just feel it.

I feel this poking.

“Stop...I'm waking up...brah. Stop poking me,” I tell him.

I turn around. Rahmell has me wrapped up in his arms. His eyes are open. He's been watching me while I was asleep. The way he looks at me almost throws me off.

“I'm not poking you...at least not with my hands,” Rahmell states.

I look down.

Rahmell's right. He's poking me but it's with his dick. I feel his dick pressed up against the back of my ass crack as he's cuddling me.

“Melly what's going on?”

“This...”

Rahmell is kissing me. His tongue is in my mouth. He doesn't care about morning breath. He doesn't care about anything but getting his tongue deep into my throat. This time I'm the one who is shocked that he's doing this. He pulls me in close so that his crotch is pressed deeper up against me but holds my neck turned towards him as he spoons me from the back.

He presses his dick deeper slowly up against me. His tongue is getting deeper into my mouth. He rubs his hands up and down my chest. I'm thrown by what is going on.

Rahmell slowly pulls my pants down.

I'm kissing him so deep that I don't even realize his own pants are down until I feel his dick pressed up against me. It's hard. It's hard as a rock. He lends his hands over to me to feel my dick. He touches it for a moment allowing it to grow on my hands.

He's just about to put his dick in me when there is a pound on the door.

“OPEN UP!”

Fuck.

Amethyst runs out of her room first. She notices Rahmell and I. Rahmell still has me in his hands. I've managed to get my pants up but he seems shocked at the knock on the door. God knows how Amethyst was able to move so fast. Maybe she was already up this morning. If she was up then she realized that Rahmell didn't sleep with her and slept out here with me.

Had she seen us cuddled up on the couch?

Quincy and Karington are out several seconds later. They are both staring at the door. Someone is trying to get in. Someone is attempting to get in.

“They are going to kill us,” Karington is saying, “They are going to kill us.”

“Relax,” Rahmell tells him.

Karington isn't relaxing. We move away from the door. It's the Amazons. It's the feminists. They have come for us. It's our turn.

“They're killing people,” Karington tells Rahmell, “You said it. You said they were going around killing random people.”

“I don't know what they're doing.”

Amethyst looks over at Rahmell, “Why are you hard?”

“Excuse me?”

Amethyst could care less about the Amazons at the door. They call out three or four more times for us to open the door up. She could care less about any of that. Amethyst has one look in her eyes and that look is jealousy. Her eyes are gleaming. There's anger in there.

“This isn't the time,” Rahmell tells her.

Amethyst could care less, “Were you about to fuck him?”

A blind man could see that. Rahmell's dick is still semi hard. You can see it through the pants he's wearing. Amethyst looks at Rahmell. She looks at me. My dick is hard as well. Dead give away. The look in her eyes is to die for. I want to straight up disappear right now. The banging on the door is getting louder and louder. Karington is stressing. Quincy is attempting to calm him down. I hear thuds on the door. They are trying to break the door down.

“Get into the bedrooms. Everyone into the bedroom,” Rahmell states.

Amethyst doesn't move until Rahmell literally grabs onto her arm and moves her into the bedroom. We go into the bedroom and lock ourselves in there. I watch as Quincy and Rahmell move a dresser in front of the bedroom door.

Karington has gone into the corner. He's tearing up in fear.

Amethyst is glaring at me.

“Were you about to fuck him?”

“Use your imagination Amethyst,” I finally respond.

Amethyst glares at Rahmell, “You were about to fuck my brother. I'm pregnant with your child and you were about to fuck my brother.”

Rahmell grabs her, “Amethyst listen to me. People are here to kill us. Do you understand that? Terrorists are here to kill us. Can you please...PLEASE wait to have this discussion later.”

Amethyst shrugs, “Maybe they won't kill us.”

“You haven't seen what I saw,” Rahmell states.

When Rahmell says that a cold freeze goes up my spine. I'm scared as fuck. Rahmell doesn't over-do things. He didn't have a wild imagination. If anything he underestimated things. If he said that he saw someone die when he was out scouting the area then he probably saw something much worse. He was probably trying to keep us from knowing the truth about what he saw outside of these doors.

Amethyst looks like she wants to argue. Maybe it's about the Amazons behind the door. Maybe she wants to argue about what me and Rahmell were about to do before she walked in. She shuts the hell up though.

We are standing at the door. My heart is racing. I hear this loud explosion and I know almost immediately they've made it through the main door of the apartment.

“They have bombs,” I tell Rahmell, “They have explosives.”

Us barricading the door didn't help.

“Quincy. Here. Wrap this around your eye. I'm going to distract them. They'll take a look at you and Karington and they are going to think both of you are injured. They'll pay attention to me and Gem. Once they are distracted try to wrestle a gun away from them.”

Rahmell has grabbed a piece of medical bandage we were using to treat Karington. Karington is in the corner crying. He's completely useless right now. Quincy and Rahmell are in the best shape. The rest of us are

“Wrestle a gun away from a terrorist?” Quincy asks, “Why can't you do it?”

“Fine...you distract them and I'll do it.”

“No. No hell no. You distract them I'll sneak in from behind,” Quincy states but then all of a sudden hesitates, “...that's safer. Right?”

He has been putting on a brave face right now but he's scared. The Amazons are behind the door. They are attempting to break into the bedroom door now! My heart is racing. Karington's crying isn't helping.

I grab the bandage from Quincy, “I can do it. Give it to me. They won't suspect me if they know who I am.”

“You're hurt,” Rahmell states.

“I'm fine.”

“No you're not!” Rahmell states, “You're not doing it.”

“He doesn't want you risking your life. He's in love with you,” Amethyst states.

It's an awkward moment. What is even more awkward is that Rahmell doesn't deny it. He just takes the bandage from me and hands it back to Quincy.

“Stand back,” he tells me.

Quincy wraps the bandage around his eyes and sits by the door looking a little lost and hopeless. Rahmell moves the dresser from behind the door.

The room goes silent.

You can hear a pin drop.

The door opens slow.

The terrorists walk in. There are three of them. Three women. They have masks on but I know they are Amazons. I can tell by their walk. I can tell by their eyes. They walk into the door and stare at Quincy first. Like Rahmell assumed they see the eye bandage he has on and they don't seem too bothered about him.

They turn their attention primarily to Rahmell and I. Karington is in the corner looking in bad shape. He probably can't defend himself.

“Fertiles?”

“Excuse me,” Amethyst says.

“Amethyst I got this,” Rahmell responds.

The Amazons look at Rahmell. They point their guns at him. Rahmell raises his hand. My heart races. A part of me wants to run in front of Rahmell and guard him just in case they start opening shots. I rather take the bullet.

“Fertiles?” one of the terrorists asks.

My heart is racing. I don't know what they want from us. Why are they asking the question? Yes or no? I didn't know how to answer.

“Ma'am. My name is Rahmell. Yes I am a fertile. These two people are Amazons. The other two people are friends of ours...”

Rahmell has his hands up. He's talking in a low, calm voice. You would never suspect him of being mad or even worked up. Only Rahmell can have a conversation with a gun pointed in his face and remain cool as a cucumber.

“That's them. The First Lady said to bring them with us,” the Amazon states, “Gem and Amethyst. Please follow us.”

Amethyst walks forward. She doesn't even fucking hesitate.

“What about my friends?”

The terrorist in charge looks around the room. She looks at Quincy. She looks at Karington. I can see a cold in her eyes. It's almost like this woman doesn't even have a soul, “The fertile lives. Kill the others. Kill all the men.”

“WAIT!” Rahmell states waving his eyes up.

“Back up!” the terrorist says.

“Let's talk about this!” Rahmell says approaching them.

“Back up!” the terrorist says.

I watch Rahmell nod. It's a sign. It's a sign for Quincy to attack them from the back.

That's when I hear Amethyst come out of no where, “The boy behind you is going to try to hit you from the back.”

The terorrists turn. Quincy has barely had the chance to make a move. My mouth drops.

How could Amethyst do that?

“No...wait...no please...”

We don't have the chance to really say anything before a bullet is shot directly into Quincy's brain. His blood splatters on the wall in a loud boom.

Amethyst turns, “Kill the others as well.”

“Those aren't our orders,” the terrorist says.

That's when I look at Amethyst. Amethyst gives them a hard stare. It's harder than I noticed before. I hadn't seen this in Amethyst until now. Rahmell and I exchange a look.

“You have new orders now. Kill ALL men. Including Gem.”

“Yes sir.”

That's when it becomes very clear to us. Amethyst is in charge of the terrorists.

To read the next chapter in advance go to www.crushedcrown.com