I'm Jim, a 28 year old cock addict. Yes, I am addicted in the truest sense of the word. I didn't realize it at first, but I truly need to give blowjobs regularly. If I go more than a week without sucking I begin to feel anxious about it, and after two weeks I'm scrambling to find cock!

What makes it complicated is that I'm married and tightly closeted. I'm not ashamed of being a cocksucker, but certainly don't want it to become public knowledge.

I normally met guys online. There was a Yahoo Group for cocksuckers in my area. I would regularly post ads, requesting that they contact me on Yahoo Messenger. I really loved those arrangements because I would usually hear from a couple strangers every week wanting blowjobs.

It really thrilled me to meet total strangers, knowing that I would suck them off and swallow their cum. If I was lucky they would become one of my regulars, but often I never saw them again. I thought it was sad that I'd only blow them once, but there always seemed to be more.

I tried to arrange my schedule so I would be away from home regularly, so I could meet guys to blow. For some it was in the early morning or late evenings when it was dark. I would meet them at some agreed-to location and they would get in my car and take their cocks out. I would lean over and blow them in my car and they would leave. I would usually hold their load in my mouth for as long as possible. I really enjoyed driving around with a mouthful of cum!

As I grew bolder I would give car blowjobs in the daytime, but always in a remote area. I found a number of country roads near farms that were almost deserted. I would drive there and when the guy I was with felt comfortable I would park and blow him right there.

I would also take them to some wooded areas, where I would suck them among the trees. That was hot and sometimes I would take my clothes off while I blew them.

I was a pretty active cocksucker for a married guy who sucked secretly, and I was really content. Then I had a dry spell that changed my life. My regulars were all busy with work, or out of town, and I was unable to connect with any new guys. They contacted me and we chatted, but just didn't meet. Some of them cut off the chat suddenly, so I thought they were jacking off while chatting and felt guilty when they would cum.

I understood this guilt because I had it as well. I would jack of and naturally think about sucking, but as soon as I would cum I would feel the most terrible guilt and shame! Some guys liked me to stroke myself while I sucked them, but I was always careful not to cum until they did.

I knew it would be a terrible thing indeed to suck them to erection and not be able to finish the job because I suddenly had a change of heart. I recall one time the guy had just filled my mouth with cum and I was so aroused I came right then.

The shame I felt was overwhelming, and I felt absolute disgust with the cum in my mouth. My body revolted and I almost threw up, but I forcibly swallowed. He asked me if I was alright and I just said I often feel differently about it after I cum.

After that I made sure I never came when I was with one of my guys – they deserve better.

Well, back to my dry spell. It had been a week with nobody to suck. Since I had started sucking I had never gone this long without a cock in my mouth. I felt like I wanted to go out and blow the first man I saw, but had only met guys online. Finally I looked up the adult book stores in my city and visited each of them. I had never solicited a blowjob in person before and wasn't sure where to start. I browsed the magazines and video boxes, while noticing others in the store. I approached a guy and whispered, "Would you like a blowjob?"

"Get away from me, faggot!" he yelled. The cashier looked up and I bolted for the door. Damn I was scared! What if there had been a cop there?

I went to the next store and this time waited until a guy was looking at the gay magazines. I offered him a blowjob and he told me to come with him. He led me outside to where there was a trash dumpster behind the building. He stepped between the building and dumpster and unzipped. This was much too public for comfort but I really needed a cock, so I dropped to my knees and sucked him. He didn't take long to cum, and I saw a guy in the parking lot watching me as I got up.

He motioned me over and told me to get into his car. His name was Bill and he said he was a dom, and asked if I was a sub. I said I didn't know what that meant, but I liked to suck cocks.

"You're probably a sub then, most cocksuckers are," he explained.

This was all new to me, and I listened intently. "As a dom, I like to take charge – if you are my sub, you'll do what I tell you."

"As long as it's sucking cock, I'm fine with that," I said.

"Cocksucking is a part of it," he said, "But there's more – I'll want to expand your limits."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

  To be continued . . .

Feel free to contact me with your comments or requests.
    –Bill Beaumonte (oral_guy_2000@yahoo.com)