Davey's Story - The 2012 Rewrite Chapter 10

DAVEY'S STORY

The 2012 Re-write

Warning: The story you are about to read contains diaper use, violence, adult language and strong sexual content. The following is evil, illegal, should be banned, and all that other blah, blah, blah. If reading a coming of age story of self-discovery about pre-adolescent and adolescent boys that wet their beds, wear diapers, and explore their awakening sexuality with each other does not tickle your pickle (or if the law in your area says that pickle tickling is illegal) then don't read it.

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Chapter 10: My Breakdown and My Early Years with Mom

It felt great to have a good night's sleep free from the horrors of my life. I was in a great mood that morning when I woke up. That was until I was faced with two unbearable facts!

I could hear the shower running in the bathroom as I opened my eyes that glorious morning. At least for the next couple hours things would feel almost perfect.

I yawned and sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. When I saw that Billy was still asleep next to me, I couldn't help thinking how cute he looked while sleeping. As I gazed at his boyish features, the memory of what happened last night came back to me. I remembered how I first felt when I noticed that Billy was clutching my little fire hose in his sleep, which was not very happy. But as laid there and my stiffy started to throb in Billy's enclosed grasp, the feeling turned to that of an increasing excitement as my little fire hose started to tingle and feel better than it ever has before. Yes I had experienced this feeling in the past but it was not done the same and because of this, I had in the past hated the feeling. This time though, I didn't want the feeling to stop. Of course I finally orgasmed and my little fire hose done its best at trying to spurt out the `man juice' that I knew it one day would be able to produce. For now though, it shot nothing but phantom juice. Now awake remembering all of this, I missed feeling Billy's hand on my little fire hose. He of course at some point during the night removed his hand from my diaper. Whether he removed it due to a conscious or unconscious thought, I had no idea. Most likely it occurred when either he or I changed positions through the night.

As I sat there in bed staring at Billy and thinking about how good it felt when Billy did what he did, I smiled as an evil thought over took me. I swear the Devil himself made me do it. Slowly I moved my hand under the covers until it came to rest on Billy's bloated diapered crotch. Then, as carefully as I could, I followed the front of his diaper up to the elastic around his waist. Again carefully, I slipped my hand into the front of Billy's soaked diaper. I made my way down into the dampness until my hand found the prize it was searching for!

I was so use to seeing Billy's little fire hose rock solid that it struck me with surprise when I felt how small and limp it currently was. It couldn't have been bigger than a little over half an inch and his small pouch was almost completely pulled inside of him. Even though it was limp, I found the sensation of exploring it extremely fascinating! Unfortunately as I moved it around in my hand, he started to wake up.

As Billy started to stir, fear of being caught made me quickly retract my hand. Once I removed my hand I looked at it and saw it now glistened with Billy's pee. The wetness that it of course encountered inside his diaper. As his eyes opened, feeling guilty, I quickly rubbed the evidence away from my hand and prayed that he didn't notice what I had been doing. You know, the funny thing was, I was almost sure that Billy would not have minded.

"Morning Davey." Billy yawned. "What time is it?"

You know, up until now I hadn't even thought of the time. When I glanced over at the digital clock on the night stand and saw that it was almost 7am, I groaned.

"Too damn early! That's what time it is!" I grumbled and considered actually going back to sleep; but from the feel of the wet spot under me, I figured it was unlikely that I would be able to do so.

Billy rubbed his eyes and then looked at me with a worried look.

What's wrong?" I asked as I was concerned that maybe he realized what my hand was doing just a moment before.

What he said brought me at ease. "My diaper leaked!" As he said this he threw the covers off of him and me and viewed the damage to the bed. He looked as if he was going to begin to hyperventilate at any moment.

"Hey! Calm down! I am just as wet as you! It could have been either of us! Shoot, it was probably both of us considering how wet the bed is!" When he realized that I was as wet as he and that I was most likely telling the truth, he calmed down and looked relieved.

The next thing he said made me laugh as I was still partly afraid he was going to accuse me of touching him inappropriately. "Sounds like your Dad is in the shower."

"Good observation Sherlock!" I laughed and pushed him back down as he started to sit up in bed.

"So you want to battle!" Billy laughed and before I saw it coming, he swung his pillow at me, knocking me in the head.

This of course started an all-out pillow war. The two of us in diapers so soaked that they threated to fall off, chasing each other around the room and whomping each other with our pillows.

We were shrieking and laughing so much that neither of us heard nor noticed my dad as his came out of the bathroom. His burst of laughter startled the both of us so badly that our diapers were even more taxed.

"Daaaaddd! You scared us!" I whined.

Dad just continued to laugh and when Billy's diaper suddenly fell down, his laughter increased ten-fold.

It didn't bother Billy at all. He just stepped out of the bloated diaper at his feet and lunged at my dad with his pillow. I couldn't help gawking at his once again stiff little fire hose, which was bobbing up and down as he ran to make his attack. It took Billy's hysterical laughing to bring me back to Earth. I realized he needed my help, so I ran to Billy's side and joined him in the clobbering of my dad with our pillows.

Dad of course being `way' bigger than the two of us, managed to get the upper hand quickly. As he ran towards dad with another attack Billy was grabbed by his ankles. Dad then brought him over to his bed (Probably due to the fact that ours was soaked!) and dropped him on top of it. Then as I tried to attack Dad from behind and come to Billy's aid, he grabbed me as well and dropped me on top of Billy. He then proceeded to sit on us and tickle torture the both of us. Of course he wasn't putting all of his weight on us, otherwise I am sure Billy and I would have been crushed. Nope, he just put enough weight to keep us from being able to get back up and escape!

"Okay! Okay! We give!" Billy and I both cried out in hysterics. Dad of course chuckled as he finally let us go. Neither Billy nor I even thought of jinxing one another. We were too pooped, well at least I know I was!

Billy and I just laid where we were, trying to catch our breath. I eventually looked over at Billy and saw him grinning and I was wondering if he was thinking what I thought he was thinking.

"Billy I'm too pooped to go another round." I panted.

"You don't want to go another round with me either." Dad stated when Billy looked his way. I am not sure why, but it was now that I noticed that Dad had on a nice pair of dress pants and a dress shirt and was in the process of making a pot of coffee.

"Alright." Billy announced in defeat. Then looked at me, "You can get your diapered butt off of me at any time!" He giggled loudly.

I laughed as I rolled the rest of the way off of Billy. "Well at least my diaper didn't go overboard the first chance it got!"

"Huh?" Billy looked at me confusingly.

"Your diaper... It went overboard... I mean it dropped overboard... err... It fell off trying to get away from you." I tried my best to explain and the more I tried the less funny the joke became.

"Lame Davey! Lame!"

Dad finished with getting the coffee pot going. As he turned around, he returned his attention to us. "That reminds me Billy, do me a favor and please pick up your diaper." And Dad pointed over to where Billy left his diaper on the floor. "Can you please put it in the bathroom trashcan for me?"

Billy groaned but got up from the bed and went over to retrieve his diaper. Once again I found myself mesmerized by his little fire hose which was again soft and non-existent. As he bent down to pick up his diaper though; I got a nice view of his bubble butt and couldn't help myself. I started to giggle!

Billy, with diaper in hand, turned around and looked at me. "What's so funny?" He demanded to know. Well maybe demand is too strong of a word to be used here.

I decided that quickly apologizing would be in my best interest. "Sorry Billy, it was nothing. Just something stupid."

I hoped he bought it. I didn't think it would be a good idea to tell him the truth in front of my dad. In truth, as I was looking at Billy's butt while he was bent over, I also got a good look at his butthole. The funny thing happened when it appeared that his hole winked at me. At first I thought I must be seeing things, but then it had winked at me again. I couldn't stop myself as I began to laugh. I know, just something stupid that only a kid would find funny.

I noticed something else about Billy as he went and disposed of his diaper in the Bathroom trashcan. In the time it took him to pick up his diaper, it had worked its magic on him! He was no longer soft but once again his little fire hose was rock hard! What diapers did to that kid was amazing!

"So what now?" Billy asked as he ran back to the bed where Dad was now removing my diaper.

Since I was lying down, I couldn't properly see him. Even so, I could clearly imagine his stiffy bobbing up and down, as he hurried towards Dad and me.

"I was thinking that once the two of you had showers, we would go and get breakfast somewhere." Dad suggested and lightly pinched my leg to get my attention. Davey, you home?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Ha! Ha! Funny!" I stated cynically. Then I had a thought. "Dad, can we both take our shower together? That way it won't take as long." I tried to reason with him.

I would like to blame this idea on all the bad and naughty thoughts I have been having lately about Billy.

"Actually, I think it is more likely that you will end up goofing around more and therefore taking longer." Dad theorized and there was a good chance he was right.

Still, I couldn't give in! "Daaad!" I whined.

"Alright, but no goofing around! Got it?"

"Yes sir!" Billy answered and saluted Dad.

"And you?" Dad turned his attention to me.

"I got it! I got it!" and rolled my eyes at him.

"Why you..." Dad started.

When he acted as if he was going to start tickling me, I jumped up from the bed and bolted to the bathroom. I made it to the door before he called me back.

"Davey! Forget something?" I turned around and saw that Dad was holding up my balled up wet night diaper in his hand.

"You just want me to come back so you can tickle me again!" I accused him.

"Davey, I swear that I am not going to bother you one bit!" Then he gave me a serious look and I wasn't quite sure if the next thing he said was a joke or not. "Now get your naked butt back here and take care of this diaper!"

Not know for sure if he was mad or not, I gave him my sweetest smile as I went back to collect my diaper. "Sorry Daddy!" and batted my eyes to hopefully get him to laugh. When it failed to make him laugh, I decided that I better do what I was told. I quickly took the diaper from Dad and ran back to the bathroom before Dad could hopefully grab me. Once inside, I deposited the heavy wet diaper into the trashcan alongside Billy's own wet diaper.

What Dad said next made me feel relieved as I knew he wasn't mad at me. "Alright you two nuts, go get cleaned up." Dad chuckled.

During the time while I was dealing with my diaper, Billy had started the shower and was making sure the temperature was okay.

Once the temperature was right, Billy got into the shower but before I was able to follow him, Dad popped his head into the bathroom. "I am going to go and see if your uncle is up yet. I expect the two of you to be almost done with your shower by the time I get back."

"Okay Dad!"

"Remember to wash your diaper areas really good boys." And as soon as we each promised we would, Dad left the room.

"I didn't think he was ever going to leave!" Billy confided as I joined him into the shower.

"Yeah, me neither" I agreed.

I don't know why my attention was once again brought to it (I am starting to wonder if there is something wrong with me and if I am becoming like my monster.), but suddenly my eyes gravitated towards Billy's stiffy.

"Are you hard like that all the time?" I asked as I stared at it.

Billy grinned at me as the water from the showerhead poured over him. "Almost all the time." Billy confirmed. He then pointed at mine. "Yours is hard too."

Sure enough, as I looked down at my little fire hose, it was as solid as a steel beam! I can attest to this as Billy took me by surprise when he reached out and flicked it a little. It was so stiff it barely moved!

"Boy! I think yours might be harder than mine!" He admired.

This statement from Billy filled me with ridicules filling of pride, don't ask me why. It just did!

"Okay Billy, change places with me." I said now that he was fully wet down and I wanted to get all of last night's pee off of me.

As I started to wet my body down, Billy came up with an idea to speed up the shower.

"Hey, how about we wash each other?" He suggested. "You can wash me, then we can switch places and I can rinse all the soap off of me as I wash you."

I thought about it for a minute and decided it sounded like a pretty good idea. When Billy handed me the bar of soap so that I could start to wash him I looked around but was not able to find what I was looking for. It turned out that we not only forgot the washcloths but we also forgot to grab the towels, which were still on a shelf next to the sink.

"Damn it! We forgot the towels and washcloths!" I cussed.

"Boy Davey! You don't want your dad to hear you cuss like that. Besides, it don't matter, we don't need the washcloths and we can get the towels when we are done."

Calming down I thought about what Billy's said. After thinking about it, I realized his logic didn't seem so bad. It wouldn't be the first time I showered without a washcloth. So I soaped up my hands a little and began to wash Billy's body.

I started at his face and neck and made my way down to his body. When I reached the sensitive area underneath his arms Billy started to giggle. I grinned a little and decided to torture him some more under his armpits. His giggling started to get louder and as he tried to escape my tickling, he lost his footing in the shower. If it hadn't been for a last minute catch on my part, he might have been laying on the bottom of the shower hurt. After that, I decided no more tickling, at least not while in the shower.

As I finished washing his upper body, my mind was thinking about Billy's little fire hose. I also found myself thinking about what I had done right before he woke up this morning. Believe it or not, as I thought about this, my own little fire hose got even harder. So hard in fact that it began to hurt.

"You okay Davey?" Billy asked, concerned when he saw me wince from the pain that my stiffy was causing me.

I just nodded my head and began to glow red as the blood rushed into my wet head. "Why did these thoughts keep going through my brain?" I thought to myself.

I was starting to become scared of who I might become if I couldn't stop them! Still, no matter how much I wanted them to stop, instead they seemed to intensify. Of course the throbbing pain only increased. A part of me thought that this was some sort of punishment for my thoughts and I winced again as the pain throbbed through my little member.

"Davey you don't look fine! What's wrong?" Billy demanded.

"Nothing!" I tried to tell him but winced again.

"It's not nothing! Davey, I am going to get your Dad!" Billy said as he started to get out of the shower, but before he could I grabbed his arm.

"Please don't! It will go away!" Of course I did not know if this was true or not. To be honest, I was sure my little fire hose had never been this stiff before. Fear started to fill me when a thought occurred to me. "Oh my God No!" I shouted out loud without realizing it at first.

"Davey, what is wrong?" Billy begged to know. "Tell me! You can trust me!"

I knew he was right so after another surge of pain I finally told him my problem. "I am just in a lot of pain! It really hurts a lot!"

Billy just looked at me confused. "What hurts?"

I pointed down at my stiffy. "My little fire hose does." And winced again at the throbbing pain.

I could see the next question in Billy's eyes but when he saw me wince again, he forgot about it for the time being.

At first he looked scared but as realization of what I meant hit him, his face brightened. "When mine does that, I find that peeing sometimes helps." Billy suggested hopefully.

Now that sounded like a pretty good idea. At least he had one so far I had nothing but pain! I concentrated a little and soon a strong stream was erupting from my little fire hose. As Billy stated, it started to soften, and the pain finally ebbed and went away altogether.

"Boy does that feel a lot better!" I breathed with relief.

"Good, now you can clean me again. You just peed all over my stomach." Billy giggled trying to lighten the mood.

I looked down and sure enough, I had and was still peeing on Billy. As my flow came to a dribbling end, Billy's own strong flow struck my belly button.

I looked down at what was happening then back up at Billy.

"Oops!" Billy grinned goofily.

"You did that on purpose!" I laughed.

"Oh well, you got me first!" And Billy grinned even wider. "Now get to work and clean up that mess you made on me!" Billy said with authority and then giggled.

"Yes sir!" and saluted him like he did with my dad earlier.

Once again I soaped up my hands and went to work washing Billy. I purposefully left his diaper area last and I am sure he was looking forward to it because as soon as I started washing that area, Billy once again sprung a boner. Still I avoided touching it for as long as I could. Instead I washed the area around it then had him turn around and bend over so that I could clean his butt.

As I was cleaning his globes, an evil thought occurred to me and without wasting any time thinking anymore about it, I stuck a soapy finger right into Billy's little hole. Boy was he surprised! He jumped so fast that it surprised me! This time when he came down I wasn't able to catch him. When his butt hit the tub and made a loud smacking noise, I feared that he might have hurt himself and I was at fault.

"I am sorry Billy! I don't know what got in me." I apologized to him as I helped him back to his feet.

For as much noise as the fall made, I was surprised that Billy looked physically unharmed. After checking everything out and finding other than a very red butt, he was perfectly fine, I was feeling quite relieved. I think Billy was too as I could see the relief on his face which was quickly replaced with that grin of his.

"Damn Davey! Just be glad that I didn't get hurt..." Billy grinned even wider. "...or I would have had to bring on the pain!"

"I am soooooooooooo sorry Billy!" I dragged out the `so' hoping that he would see how sorry I was. "I promise I will be good from now on."

"Well you better, or else!" He waved his fist in my face to make sure I got his point. "What in the world did you do to me anyway?"

"Uh... You don't want to know." I said scared of what he might think.

At first it look like he was going to pursue his questioning, but then he seemed to change his mind. I just went ahead and went back to work washing him.

As I started to finally soap up Billy's little fire hose, the tube that had gone soft at some point after Billy fell, was now once again rock hard in my hand. At least it made it much easier to clean the two inch stiffy. Billy moaned as I slipped my soapy hand along his shaft. Knowing exactly what was happening with him, I once again thought of that monster I was turning into and fear instantly spread through me! Not wanting Billy to see the fear in my eyes, I did my best to hide it. I also immediately stopped washing his stiffy.

Even though I could see in Billy's eyes that he desperately wanted me to continue, that fear of what was happening and what I was possibly becoming, took over me and so,that ended our fun in the shower.

Now done washing Billy, we swapped places. Billy while letting the shower rinse the soap from his body, proceeded to soap me down. I was worried as Billy seemed to be leaving my diaper area for last like he had with me. I was afraid that he might try and do to me what I started to do to him. This actually made me afraid as I knew that it could hurt I friendship if he tried this with me. You would not believe how relieved I actually was, when Dad shouted out to let us know he was back. This of course curbed Billy from having fun with my little fire hose. It also meant that I didn't have to refuse him and possibly hurt his feelings.

Even though our fun was now officially over Billy still did a thorough job cleaning my diaper area. By the time he was done I was washed thoroughly... well except for one thing we forgot. Both of us completely forgot to wash our hair. Oh well, were kids what do you expect!

As I rinsed the soap from my body, Billy got out of the shower and went to grab a towel for the both of us. He handed mine to me as I turned off the water and got out.

Now dried off, we left the bathroom. Billy headed for his pile of clothes that he brought with him; and I headed to the bed where Dad had a diaper already ready for me. I didn't even question why Dad never asked me my choice, of course I would find out why only too soon. Maybe that was why I didn't ask, because a part of me knew the truth and I just wasn't yet ready to face it.

As Dad taped my diaper on me, I noticed that Billy was just standing there watching Dad diaper me. He had not even put on his underwear and I knew what was going through his mind. He wanted my dad to diaper him as well.

"Dad, are you going to diaper Billy too?" I asked hopefully.

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

"But Dad! He promised he would wear one whenever I had to!" I complained.

"Davey Stop it! I said no!" And to get his point across, he smacked my thigh hard enough to bring tears to my eyes.

Billy looked like he might cry as well. "Sir, I did make that promise to him." He quietly told my dad.

"I am sorry Billy, but I shouldn't have let you wear one last night when you didn't need it."

"But I did need it!" Billy defended himself.

"I meant the one before bedtime. The only one you needed was the one put on you at bedtime." Dad calmly explained. "At the time I only did it to make Davey feel better but I realize as a parent that there is certain things that are right to do and others that are not. Anyway, I have made my decision."

Billy sighed and started to get dressed as Dad helped me into my clothes. Without even thinking, I just stood there and allowed him to dress me. It wasn't until he had my shirt and pants on that I noticed the clothes that Dad chose for me were my nice ones. Finally, no longer able to put off the question, I asked it.

"Dad, why are you having me wear my good clothes?" Deep down I knew the answer already, I just didn't want to face it.

"I am sorry Davey, but we have court today." Dad tried to break it gently.

"Dad, do I have too?" I asked, tears brimming in my eyes. "Please don't make me go!" I begged.

Dad sighed, "I am sorry Davey, but I have to be there and I don't have anyone to watch you."

"Can I watch myself?" I asked as I had done this many times before when I lived with Mom and later Grandmother. Neither of them seemed to mind leaving me alone.

"I am sorry Davey but you are too young to be by yourself. It isn't like I am going to be just downstairs so that you can get me if you need me. In fact the state doesn't allow kids your age to be by yourself without someone responsible looking after you." Dad explained.

So I came up with a new idea. "Maybe I can stay with Billy's parents." I cried. I of course knew that wasn't possible. I was just grasping at straws is all.

"I am sorry Davey, but Billy's parents will be leaving this morning to go back to Ohio." Dad then picked me up in his arms and held me. He patted my back and cooed in my ear softly trying to calm me down.

Billy came over and patted me on my diapered bum. "I am sorry Davey." Then his eyes brightened. "Maybe we can convince my Dad to let me stay with you. Then at least I can be with you at the hearing." Billy cried softly.

I didn't have to have Dad say something this time. I already knew that this was a long shot. Still I grabbed ahold of this idea and refused to let it go, even when Dad shot it down.

"I am sorry Billy, but that just isn't possible." Dad sighed.

"Daddy!" I cried. "Please don't say no!" I pleaded with him.

Dad sighed again. "Davey, I just don't think it will work."

I then looked into his eyes as the tears still fell from mine. "Daddy please, can we at least try?"

"Dad looked like he might just cry as well. He sighed again before agreeing. "Alright, but don't get your hopes up.

Feeling a little better I sniffled and tried to wipe the tears from my eyes. Dad then set me back on my feet before sending Billy and me back to the bathroom to wash our faces and the tears that stained them.

And so over the next hour, Billy and I made plans on how we would convince his parents on letting him stay. Dad of course had been right though as the hope I had would cause the biggest disappointment and scene yet since going to live with my dad!

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Like yesterday morning, Dad once again took us to McDonalds for breakfast. It was a little after 8 in the morning when we sat down began eating. Since we didn't have to be in court until 10am, Dad said we could stay and play at McDonalds for a little bit. Because Billy's parents requested Dad to have him back by 9, Dad stated that we had until 8:45 to play.

We both quickly gobbled down our breakfast and as soon as we were done, we raced to the Playland fort. Billy noticed me acting weird as we climbed up to the top. Luckily we were the only two at the time inside the fort, so when Billy saw what I had managed to sneak up there with us, his eyes lit up with joy. "Davey, how did you get that up here?" Billy breathed excitedly as he stared wantingly at the gleaming white diaper in my hand.

I smiled and then bragged how I managed to pull it off!

"When we first got here as you know, I had told Dad what I wanted and then went to grab a seat in the playland area. You may have noticed that I was carrying my diaper bag with me. Since this is something I do normally, my dad never thought anything about it. While you guys were up front still, I grabbed this diaper and hid it here in the fort. It was still empty and I took a chance on that no one would find it before I was able to retrieve, which I did just now. Luckily no other kids showed up back here and now if you want, I think I can help you get it on before anyone notices anything."

"Wow Davey! What would you have done if you got caught or if someone had seen the diaper before we were able to get in here?"

"I know it was a big chance, but I did it for you." I answered proud of the fact that I actually pulled it off. "So do you want to wear it or not?" I waved the diaper in front of his eyes to tease him.

"Davey, you know I do. But neither of us knows how to put it on!" Billy sounded defeated.

"Yeah I know, but I don't see why it should be too hard. It's not as if we are putting it on ourselves. With my help I think we can get it on." I explained sounding a little surer of myself then I actually was. "So do you want me to help you get it on or not?"

"Well Duh!" He responded and grinned devilishly at me.

"Well take off your shorts and get ready." I whispered as I started to open up the diaper. When he just stared at me and didn't look like he was in any hurry to comply, I did it for him. I reached out and grabbed his shorts, yanking them down to his ankles! "I guess I have to do it for you!" I laughed but trying to keep my voice down so that Dad and Uncle Justin wouldn't be able to hear us.

Billy got the point and dropped his underwear. He was now naked from the waist down and without fail, his little fire hose was stiff as usual.

"What now?" He whispered.

"Well let me spread the diaper out and then you can lay down on it." I suggested.

"Hurry up please! I really don't want to get caught doing this." He worried.

As soon as I had the diaper ready, Billy positioned himself on it. Now that the easy part was done, I now tried to figure out the hard part. Now to be honest, there is not much to putting on a diaper, but for someone who never has done it, no matter how many times I have seen it done, it is a lot harder than it looks.

My first attempt to tape the diaper on, failed miserably as I didn't have it on Billy tight enough. As soon as he tried to stand up, the diaper fell to his ankles.

"Damn it!" I swore under my breath.

Again I had Billy lay down as I tried a second time to get the diaper on and tight enough so it would stay on. This time I managed to succeed in getting it tight enough, even if it did look a little sloppy. Billy quickly pulled up his underwear and shorts and checked to see how noticeable the diaper was.

"I don't know? I think they are going to notice it." Billy worried.

"If you act normal they won't, besides your t-shirt comes down far enough that it covers the bulge." I informed him.

"What if they hear the noise it makes." Billy continued to worry.

"I will be right by you; they are going to assume the noise is coming from my own diaper." Billy had to agree on that one, as it made sense.

"So what now?" Billy asked.

"I was thinking we could come up with all reasons we can, to convince your parents and my dad to let you stay with us. We have to think of everything they would say and think so that we can convince them otherwise." I said with confidence.

I had completely convinced myself that somehow we were going to pull this off, but still I wanted to be ready. So for the rest of our hour, we didn't do much playing, instead we planned, and planned, and planned some more!

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"NO! NO! NO!" I shouted. "I WANT HIM TO STAAAAAAAAY!!!" I screamed while gearing up for full temper tantrum mode.

"I am sorry Davey, but it's just not possible." Billy's Dad tried to stay calm though there was a good chance that he wouldn't be for long if I kept it up.

Dad had allowed me to go with Billy back to his room. He told me that he would be in our room if I needed him. He tried to tell me again before I took off with Billy that our plan was not going to work, but I just wasn't willing to listen.

As we walked to Billy's hotel room, we ran through our plan once again. We knew that most likely they would have a problem with leaving their son with someone they just met, but we figured we could convince them that it wouldn't be a problem. Billy also figured they would use school as an excuse. The thing was that Billy had already missed some school as it was and figured that a little more wouldn't be a big deal. Plus he was going to promise to use all his free time to catch up once he came back home. We figured these would be our two biggest obstacles and we were sure our arguments were rock solid. How wrong we were.

When we entered the room, we were both bubbling with excitement. First Billy told his parents about how I am supposed to go to court today and how hard this has been on me.

"Davey, Billy's father and I are both sorry that you have to go through all of this, I wish there was something we could do to make it easier." There it was, those magic words. Both Billy and I figured we had a win as his parents had taken the bait.

"Well, actually there is something you can do." I said as politely as I could. "It would make it so much easier if I had someone there as a friend. I think it could really help me a lot and it might even make it easier for me to testify when it is my turn." I explained.

"Davey, let me stop you right there." Billy's father interrupted me. And that was all it took for everything to go wrong!

Billy's parents did not see our logic and stuck to the fact that it just wasn't a good time as Billy had missed too much school already. They tried to be patient and calm, even as I became anything but calm. And as I got more and more upset, Billy's dad became concerned. He gave his wife a look and she went quickly over to the phone. I of course was no longer able to reason and was starting to blow my top, so at the time I didn't know that she had just called my Dad to let him know what was happening. So this now brings us up to date.

"NO! NO! NO!" I cried out again.

I don't know what got in to me as I ran over to the bed where the packed bags were now sitting. Before anyone could stop me, I grabbed a bag and ripped it open and started to fling its contents around the room. Clothes and personal items were now going everywhere!

"NO! YOU'RE GOING TO LET HIM STAY!" I screamed and cried. "I WON'T LET YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME!" The current bag now empty, I found some more things to throw.

Now if I had been in my right mind, I would have seen the fear in not only Billy's eyes as he watched me throw my temper tantrum, but also Scotty's.

"Dad, that weirdo is throwing my CD's all over the place. He is going to break them! Can't you stop him?" Scotty yelled out as he tried to grab the new bag I now had. His attempt to get it from me failed and I continued to throw its contents all over the place.

"I am trying but he won't stay in one place, plus I don't want to hurt him." Billy's dad tried to tell his son and lunge at me the same time.

It was true. I was doing my best to stay out of reach of anyone. All I wanted to do at that moment was to lash back and hurt them as much as I was being hurt. It didn't matter that these people never actually hurt me, well that is except for Scotty.

"FUCK YOU ALL TO HELL!" I cussed loudly and ran into the bathroom where there was a case of toiletries that had not yet been packed. I picked it up and tossed it as hard as I could at Billy's oncoming father. Luckily most of it was easily deflected and Billy's dad appeared unharmed.

There must have been something glass in the case as I heard it shatter when it hit the wall. It didn't even faze me, in fact it just made me want to break more things.

It didn't take me long before I found something else to break. Scotty's CD player was still sitting on the table and I grabbed it before he even knew I saw it. I then flung it as hard as I could at the sliding glass door. (Billy's parents had a room with a balcony which was why they had a sliding glass door.)

"THAT IS WHAT YOU ASSHOLES GET FOR TAKING BILLY AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed as the player smashed into the glass door. Luckily the door didn't break to smithereens, I did manage to crack it though, and Scotty's CD Player was history.

"Daaaadddd... He" hiccup "broke" hiccup "my CD Player!" Scotty sobbed.

I actually loved seeing the bastard cry, and knowing that I was the one who made him, made it feel all the better! I then turned to face him and took my anger further out on him.

"YOU DESERVE EVERY FUCKING THING I CAN DO TO MAKE YOUR LIFE SHIT, ASSHOLE!" I shouted so loud that flecks of spit hit him in his face.

Scotty could no longer contain his anger. As the tears poured out of his eyes, anger also flashed in them. "Damn you, I am going to kill you!" And Scotty lunged for me.

This time I held my ground and when he was about to make contact with me, I kicked him so hard in the sweet spot, that I am sure he is still tasting his testicles right now! It definitely did the trick as the fight completely left Scotty and he collapsed to the floor hollering in pain. I was about to kick him again when someone grabbed me from behind.

As Dad's strong arms held me in place, all it did was make me even angrier. "I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU TAKE AWAY MY ONLY FRIEND! HE IS GOING TO STAY!" I shouted and tried to break free from Dad's hold on me. He just held onto me even tighter yet.

"FUCK YOU DAD! FUCK YOU BILLY'S PARENTS! FUCK YOU WORLD!" Dad attempted to put his hand over my mouth, I didn't think, I just reacted and bit it hard.

"Fuck!" I heard my dad cuss, I think for the first time.

"FUCK YOU ALL! FUCKING LET ME GO YOU BASTARD!" I screamed and tried to break free.

Now because of the loud fit I was throwing, someone had called 911 who not only dispatched the police but also an ambulance as there was fear that someone might be hurt with all the noise coming from the room.

The police were the first to show up and they tried their best to get things under control. The thing was, I was still one unhappy camper as Dad continued to hold me down, and even so, he was not able to shut me up. He did try to calm me in the normal manner, but I was pissed. I was tired of not getting what I wanted and everything being taken from me when I need it the most!

"YOU COCKSUCKERS CAN'T STOP ME! YOU FILTHY PIGS, GO BACK TO HELL WHERE YOU CAME FROM!

Somehow and don't ask me how, I managed to wiggle out of Dad's arms. Once free, the police tried to tackle me. One was finally successful when he threw his body against me. I was between him and the sliding glass door, because of the impact of both our bodies hitting the already cracked door, it ended up shattering and I was lying now on the balcony floor which was covered in glass. Realizing that I didn't have much time before someone else's was able to grab me, I ran to the ledge and climbed on it.

"IF ANY OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS TAKE ONE MORE STEP CLOSER TO ME, I PROMISE, I WILL JUMP!" At this point, I knew I was worked up enough that I wouldn't hesitate a second, jumping off this ledge.

My dad, Billy's parents, and the police all tried to convince me to calm down and see if there was a way to fix it.

"IF YOU ASSHOLE WANABEES WANT ME OFF THIS DAMN FUCKING LEDGE, THEN YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FUCKING PROMISE ME THAT BILLY CAN STAY WITH ME UNTIL THE TRIAL IS OVER WITH!"

"Davey please!" Dad cried out in fear as I almost lost my balance.

As he moved a little closer I looked straight at him. "Dad I wouldn't come any closer if I were you, I will jump! I have nothing to lose!" Due to the fear of almost falling, I didn't scream this last threat.

"Davey I love you! I don't want you to jump!" I saw tears pour from Dad's eyes and just seeing my father cry like that made me pause.

I then got a good look at everyone else in the room who was trying to coax me off the ledge. When I saw Billy sobbing into his father's side, my heart broke.

"What did I just do?!" I thought to myself. There was no way Billy would want to be my friend now. I had scared him to death!

Seeing him weep, started to help bring my sanity back. "Billy, I am so sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! Please forgive me?" I started to bawl.

As the realization of what I had done and said came back to me, I tried to apologize to everyone but it was pretty hard to understand because of my blubbering. Still I was on the ledge and had yet to move off of it.

"Davey! Please come to Daddy?" Dad cried and held out his arms for me. As much as I wanted to go to him, I felt so ashamed of myself that I just couldn't move.

As I stood there debating what to do, a thought occurred to me and that was, after everything that just happened, there was no way that Billy would still want to be my friend. I was also sure that his Parents would also not want anything to do with me again. As for Dad, he says he loves me but I was sure after my tantrum, he wouldn't want me living with him anymore. I mean, who wants a crazy kid living with them? I then looked down to the street 9 floors below and came to a conclusion. Life was just no longer worth it, and with that, I stepped off the ledge and committed myself to an act of suicide!

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When I didn't fall to my death like I had expected, I opened my eyes and saw that one of the officers had managed to get close enough, that he was able to grab the neck of my shirt and yanked me back just in the nick of time.

From this point, things became a blur. I was placed on a gurney that I didn't even notice was in the room, and before I could even object, someone had stuck a needle into me.

For a moment I saw Dad's face looking down at me. I could see his lips move but for some reason, I couldn't hear his voice. "Why couldn't I hear his voice?" This thought rattled through my confused head and made me worried.

"Daddy" I tried to say but it came out sounded more like an incomprehensible mumble.

Again I saw Daddy's lips move but could not hear anything, except for a loud annoying buzzing sound that just started. When I tried again to speak, Dad placed a finger over my lips and this time I knew what he wanted.

As I was taken downstairs and through the lobby entrance doors of the hotel, I found it harder and harder to keep my eyes open and as I was loaded into the ambulance, I finally lost consciousness. It would be hours later before I would once again awaken.

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"Uhhhhhhh!" I groaned and opened my eyes.

As I came more awake, I scanned the room around me. Even though the lights were dim and I was lying down, I was able to make out a few things. It looked very much like a hospital room but this time I seem to be in a much smaller private room, obviously made for just one person. The door to the room from what I could make out, almost looked like a prison door and was shut. The main thing that I noticed was that I was completely alone. There was not a soul in sight.

Wanting to get a better look at my surroundings, I decided to try and sit up. When I found that I could not move, I realized that I was once again strapped down to a bed. As fear built in me I started to thrash as much as I could, trying my hardest to break my bonds. When this failed to prove results, fear overtook me completely!

I started screaming at the top of my lungs. Believe it or not, not long after I started screaming I heard others nearby start to scream as well. That perplexed me so much that I actually stopped my own screaming as even more unseen people started to scream their lungs out. This was one strange hospital!

All the racket that was being made did accomplish something. I heard someone outside of the room shouting for everyone to shut it. Whoever he was didn't sound very pleasant, in fact he sound down right mean! This place was becoming scarier by the minute! More and more I wished for someone to come and rescue me! I wanted someone to come and untie me and help from this strange place.

Even though the voice of the man sounded scary, fear of the unknown, made me call out to him. "PLEASE! WHOEVER IS OUT THERE, PLEASE HELP ME!" I cried out.

I just hoped that whoever was out there would hear me and care enough to come and check in on me. So far though, he sounded content to just shout at everyone outside my door. When he made the threat of making them all stop one way or another, one by one the screamers stopped. I figured that if everyone else was afraid of this threat that I better be too. Besides, he sounded like he would be willing to carry it out! So for the time being, I decided it might be best to be quiet and try to be patient. I knew that sooner or later, that someone would have to come. I decided to try to take in more of my surroundings.

The room was windowless, so I had no idea if I had slept the whole day away or if it was just a few hours. Everything appeared white in color, even what I could see of the bed. I was dressed in what appeared to be a set of white light pajamas. From what I could tell as I wasn't able to move my head enough to be able to see it clearly, but it appeared that I had on a thick diaper underneath my white pajama bottoms. From what I was able to see, it appeared as if they puffed out quite a bit as if the diaper was swollen with my pee and about to burst!

As the minutes then the hours ticked by, I wondered how long they would make me stay in a wet diaper. I also was getting hungry as the last meal I had was breakfast and I was positive that lunchtime had come and went. Maybe they expected whatever they gave me to not have worn off yet. As the boredom grew, my mind retreated into itself.

By the time I once again heard a noise from outside my room, I was half asleep again and I feared I was just dreaming it. When my door opened and a big guy came in escorting a lady with a tray. It was the smells coming from the tray that brought me fully awake. As I already said, I was starving and even though the smells coming from the tray didn't smell like the best, I knew I had had worse. As soon as he was sure I hadn't somehow freed myself, the big guy left the room shutting the door behind him and leaving me alone with what I figured was a nurse.

"Well sleepyhead, it is nice to see you awake. I bet you are hungry?" The lady said in some strange accent.

I nodded my head in agreement and watched as she put the tray on the small stand next to me. I thought maybe she was going to unstrap me before letting me eat but that wasn't the case.

"I think we should change your nappy first and then you can eat." She went back outside the door of my room only to return with a cart.

The cart was exactly like the one the hospital used. It contained several different diapers and diaper supplies.

"Whoa, that Nappy really needs to be changed!" The nurse exclaimed as she pulled down my white pajama bottoms.

It was now the second time I heard her use that strange word. It was as if she was speaking another language, even her English was hard to understand.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but what do you mean when you say nappy?" I asked as politely as I could. I guess you can say that the fight was all worked out of me by now and the tiredness I was feeling kept the fear at bay for the moment.

"I am sorry honey, I keep forgetting about you Yanks." She then smiled warmly at me and for the first time since I entered this place, I think I saw a true spark of compassion and humanity. "I keep forgetting that you Yanks call them a diaper where we Brits call them Nappies."

Okay, nappies were diapers and I filed this away in my mind for future knowledge. Now I was wondering what she had meant when she said Yanks and Brits, but I decided to let it go for now.

I do have to say this, she was fast and efficient. She had me cleaned and re-diapered quickly and from the smell I could tell it was one messy diaper! I don't think I had ever had a messy diaper changed this fast before! With a clean diaper now on me she pulled my pajama bottoms back up and covered the diaper. She then took off and threw away the disposable gloves she was wearing and washed her hands with what appeared to be sanitizer.

Now that she had my diaper changed and herself cleaned up, she returned her attention to the tray of food which she went over to.

"Can you please let my arms go?" I asked.

"I am sorry little one, but the Doctor has requested that they not be taken off until she is sure you won't hurt yourself."

"But I promise I won't!" The fear was starting to edge its way back into me.

The nurse saw it as well and took something out of her pocket which I recognized right away.

"PLeeeaaassseeee don't give me a shot!" I cried.

"I am sorry Davey but it will help you relax." Because I wasn't able to move I just laid there and screamed as I felt the needle entered my skin.

I was now crying uncontrollably and the nurse just sat down next to me and talked soothingly to me.

"Don't worry little one! You will feel much better shortly." She cooed in my ear as she stroked my forehead.

Sure enough, a couple minutes later I had stopped crying. I no longer felt afraid or upset, I kinda felt blah. She then stopped stroking my hair and smiled at me. Not sure why, I returned her smile.

"See now, you feel better don't you?" And I nodded my head stupidly. "Do you feel like eating now?" Again I nodded my head.

What was wrong with me? She just stuck a needle into me. What I really wanted to do was scream at her, but I found that I just couldn't. It was really strange and hard to explain. To be honest my hunger was about the only thing that seemed to matter now.

I wasn't quite sure how I was going to eat off my tray while being tied down but when the nurse started to feed me, I got my answer. I really didn't like this babyish treatment that she was giving me but as I said, I couldn't fight it. So I just ate and filled my stomach.

The food didn't taste as bad as I thought it would and it didn't take her long to have me fed. She then started to clean everything up and I was worried that she was about to leave me. Of course I had been right as that was exactly what she did. But before she left she picked up what looked like a small ketchup cup you would see in a restaurant for your fries. I couldn't see at the time what was in it due to the fact I was still lying down.

"Mam!" My voice cracked a little. "Can you tell me what's going on?" I begged not only with my words but with my eyes as well.

"Oh sweetie, you're in the Salt Lake City Sanitarium." My eyes looked at her, full of questions and she continued. "You were moved here last night after your psychiatrist grew concerned that you might be dangerous to not only yourself, but to others as well. She will be by in the morning to see you. Right now, you could use some more sleep and these pills will help you do that."

So that was what was in the cup.

I ignored the pills. "What is a sanitarium?" I asked not knowing the word. It sounded like some place where they sanitized things. This of course made no sense.

The nurse sighed. "It is just a nicer word for an institute for the mentally insane. Now please take your medicine"

As she lowered the pill cup to my lips, I looked down and inside were 4 different pills which I had no idea what they were. I debated for a second at refusing them but I was sure if I didn't take these, they would probably use more needles. So I let her put them in my mouth and then she placed a straw between my lips and I sucked the cold water through it which was enough to swallow the pills with. She allowed me to finish the cup of water and filled it again when I asked for more. When I finished the second cup I felt a little better.

When she turned to leave I panicked and called out to her. "Ma'am, can you at least tell me when I can see my Dad?"

"I am so sorry little one, but you will not be able to see him until your doctor decides you are ready. Just close your eyes and when you open them next, it should be morning." And before I could say anything else she left the room.

Once again, I was locked inside and all alone. And yes I am certain that I was locked in as I heard the lock snap in place. I now knew where I was, I was in some loony bin. Like I was afraid, Dad no longer wanted me and because they were all afraid of me now, they had gone ahead and committed me to some insane asylum! I laid there thinking for a while and more than ever, I regretted not being able to kill myself. I would much rather be dead than locked away in this place the rest of my life!

I was not sure how much time had gone by since the nurse had left, but as she predicted, I started to feel real sleepy. At first I tried to fight it but the medicine was too powerful. Soon my eyes started to droop and eventually close shut. I felt a single tear fall down the side of my cheek as the fear of the unknown grabbed at me. Maybe that was why my mind went so far to find a place to protect it. As I fell to sleep, my mind reached back the years farther than it ever has that I could remember. Back to a time before Mom had started to do drugs. Back to when she was still a loving mother!

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I was four years old and I was hugging my new Teddy Bear that Mommy had got me for my birthday. I had long forgotten that she had been the one to give me Harold and as this deep memory came forward I smiled in my sleep.

Like I said, it was my 4^th Birthday and I was the proud new owner of a fluffy new teddy bear. When I had un-wrapped it, I fell in love with it immediately.

Mommy smiled when she saw how happy I was. "Davey, you are now my big boy of four. I know Mommy isn't around a lot but I hope you do know that I love you."

"I love you too Mommy!" and I ran over to her, and while still clinging to my new bear, I gave her a big hug. She hugged me back and kissed me.

Mommy had been feeling guilty lately as she was working two jobs just to put a roof over our heads and food on the table. Most of the time when she worked, a 14 year old boy a few apartments down would watch me. Any other time, like for instance the times he was at school a woman Mommy knew would babysit. I distinctly remember not liking her too well! The 14 year old boy's name was Dennis. Again I was shocked how clearly I was remembering this as all these years later. I had totally forgotten about Dennis.

As the memories of the fun times I had with Dennis came back to me I continued to smile in my sleep. For a while I thought of those times but eventually my memory refocused back to the day Mommy gave me Harold. It was as if something was controlling the direction of my dream!

"So Davey, what are you going to name him?" Mommy asked.

I thought about it for a moment and then I knew. Dennis had recently read me the story `Harold and the Purple Crayon' it instantly became my favorite story at the time.

"I am going to name him Harold." I grinned and squeezed Harold again.

"I think that is a good name." Mommy agreed. She then looked at me seriously. "Davey, now that you are a big boy of four, do you think you can learn to go potty like a big boy?" This new memory also shocked me as I didn't ever remember my mom trying to potty train me before she had to.

I didn't hesitate one bit. "Me don't want to use the potty."

"Davey please, you are too old to be in diapers now and Grace (This was the name of the woman who babysat me when Dennis couldn't.) Says she refuses to change them anymore. She won't babysit you anymore unless you learn to use the potty." Mommy tried to reason with me.

Now I mentioned before how hard it was to reason with a determined 11 year old. Times that by a billion and that would be what it is like trying to do the same with a four year old. It just doesn't happen.

"NO! Won't use the potty!" I stamped my foot down in a fit.

"But Davey, she refuses to babysit anymore." Mom continued her pointless effort.

"Don't care! Don't like her! Like Dennis!" I stated defiantly.

"Davey, I know you like Dennis a lot, but he can't always babysit when Mommy works."

"WAN'T DENNIS! WAN'T DENNIS! WAN'T DENNIS!" I shouted.

Mommy just sighed. "Alright sweetie, Mommy will try and see if she can work her schedule when Dennis can watch you." She said in defeat. Now if I had done that to my mom today, I wouldn't have any teeth left!

I smiled happily that I was able to get my way. "Dennis says I cute in my diapers!" I said just to show that he didn't have a problem with my diapers.

Mommy smiled and even laughed a little. "Yes, Dennis is right; you definitely look cute in your diapers." Mommy then grabbed me and started to tickle me to the point that I was crying out in laughter for her to stop. Mommy than hugged me. "You know you will always be my baby, right?"

"I love being your baby Mommy." I giggled.

"Well I think Mommy's baby needs his little tushy cleaned."

Mommy than carried me to my room where she set me on my changing table and began to pull off my pants so that she could get at my diaper. Since I hadn't been wearing a shirt before, I was now clad in just my diaper.

Mommy than untapped each side of my diaper and exposed my doodle. As soon as she did this, it released the poopy stink that had been contained inside its confines.

Boy Davey, you sure you couldn't do Mommy a favor and learn to use the potty like a big boy?" Mommy asked as she fanned the smell away from her face.

I just giggled and knowing she was not going to get the answer she wanted, she proceeded to clean my poopy bottom. Once she had me all clean, she went to retrieve a clean diaper as there was no more on the shelf below my changing table.

"Davey, it looks like you are almost out of diapers, I will have to get you more when I get out of work in the morning. I sure hope Dennis will have enough for you until then." Mommy said as she brought over the last of my diapers and stacked them all, but one, on the shelf under me.

When she looked back up, it was just in time to see me spring a leak. Mommy laughed as she quickly grabbed the towel that hung on the end of my changing table. And dropped it on my little leaking doodle. "Boy Davey, that little fire hose of yours gives no warning!"

"I'm sorry Mommy, did I pee on you?" I worried.

"I am okay sweetie! I am just going to have to be more prepared for that little fire hose of yours from now on!"

Hearing her call my little doodle that for the second time I giggled. "Bad little fire hose!" I shamed my doodle and laughed at the same time.

Mommy joined me in my laughter and from that day on, my doodle became christened with a new name, my little fire hose!

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When I was once again diapered and fully dressed. Mommy tied my shoes on my feet and told me she was taking me for a surprise and boy was I! She took me to Chucky Cheeses for my birthday and allowed me to run around and play all the games I wanted to my heart's content.

At one point during my play, Mommy took me back to our seat. The reason why Mommy had brought me back was because the employees had gathered at our booth and one of them had a small cake with four candles on it. Once I was seated, they put the cake in front of me and they all sang Happy Birthday.

"Happy Birthday to you."

"Happy Birthday dear Davey."

"Happy Birthday to you."

The girl nearest to me reached out and lightly touched the tip of my nose. "So big guy, how old are you now?"

"I'm this many!" I said happily holding three fingers up.

Mommy laughed. "Remember Davey, you're now a big boy of four!" And Mommy held up four fingers to show me.

I than looked back at the lady and smiled. "I four!" And this time I held up the correct number of fingers.

That made them all laugh and I joined them. I was a very happy child back then. My Mommy was my whole world and I loved her very much. I had forgotten how much love use to be between us, that is before she started drugs.

Trying to eat the slice of chocolate cake that Mommy set in front of me, proved to be a definite problem. I couldn't get the sweet confection in my mouth fast enough, though I did try. By the time I was finished eating it, I had almost as much on me as in me.

Mommy had to grab a couple of my baby wipes, to clean my face and hands. "I think I am going to ask Dennis if he can give you a bath tonight." Mommy muttered partly to herself.

By the way, I am not sure why Mommy didn't get the diapers while we were out, maybe she didn't think we had enough time and wanted to give me as much time to play as I could. Maybe she thought for sure that there would be enough for me. Whatever the reason was, she waited as she said she would, to get them when she got out of work in the morning.

Because Mommy had to work all night, this meant that Dennis would be staying the night. This was not something unusual for Dennis as he did this quite a lot for Mommy. Also, his own mother liked him out of the house so she could play with her boyfriends without him being in the way. At least I remember Dennis telling me this one time when he was watching me. The fact is, there were many times where Dennis spent the night with us just to get out of his apartment and away from his abusive mother. Whenever he did stay the night, he always slept with me, which I thought was really special because a big kid liked me so much.

When we got home from Chucky Cheeses, Mommy sat me in front of the TV while she went to get ready for work. On the way home she did apologize to me for not being able to stay with me for my whole birthday. She did remind me though that Dennis would be coming to stay and play with me.

So as Mommy got ready, I watched TV and eagerly waited for Dennis to show up. I loved my Mommy very much and I really wished she could have stayed for my whole birthday but Dennis was a great consolation prize!

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"Ready or not, here I come!" I heard Dennis shout out.

I giggled as I heard Dennis try and look for me. I was sure he wouldn't find me in the clothes hamper buried under the clothes.

"Is little Davey in here?" I heard Dennis call out from what sounded like my room.

I giggled again as I heard him search my room. My four year old little mind was positive that Dennis wouldn't be able to find me where I was hiding at. It never occurred to me that I have hidden here before and he found me.

"Is Davey hiding under his bed?" I heard Dennis say.

This was all part of the game. As Dennis would look for me, he would call out where he was currently looking for me at. I didn't understand at the time that this was for my benefit and that Dennis knew that it would make the game funner for me. Wait... Is funner even a real word?

So as Dennis searched for me and called out the locations he was currently looking in, I continued to giggle in my hiding spot.

At one point while looking for me, Dennis called out from the kitchen. "Is little Davey in the refrigerator?" I found this so funny that my giggles turned into outburst of laughter. "I heard you!" And as Dennis called this out, I covered my mouth with both of my hands.

I sat there silently trying to hear any noise that might have come from Dennis. A couple minutes went by without a sound. Then suddenly I heard something close to my hiding spot. Dennis was inside the bathroom.

"Fe, Fi, Fo, Fum.
I smell the blood of a diapered Davey-san,
Be he living, or be he dead,
I'll grind his bones to mix my bread."

As Dennis said this, I couldn't help myself and giggled again. Even with my hands covering my mouth, the giggling was loud enough for Dennis to hear. Still Dennis pretended not to hear me as he searched the bathroom.

"Is little Davey hiding in the bathtub?" And I heard the curtain pulled back as Dennis checked the tub. "Nope, not there." I then heard him walk over to the sink. "Is Davey in cupboard underneath the sink?" As Dennis opened the cupboard, I was able to hear the squeaky hinges. "Nope, not there either." He closed the cupboard. "Maybe little Davey is hiding in the toilet." Again I giggled as I found this last thing Dennis said as extremely funny. "Nope, not there." Said Dennis. There was quiet for a few seconds before Dennis walked over to the hamper. "I hear little Davey, is he hiding in here?" And then there was light as the hamper was opened and Dennis moved the clothes aside that were covering me. "Well looky here!" Dennis smiled as he looked down at me. "Looks like I found my little Davey!"

With me found, Dennis helped me out of the hamper. Since Dennis gave me a bath earlier and hadn't put me in my pajamas yet, I was still just in my diaper. Because of this, Dennis quickly saw that I was wet and needed changed.

"Looks like someone needs a diaper change." Dennis announced cheerfully.

Diaper changes (and bath times) were special times between Dennis and me. When Dennis changed my diaper he took his time while cleaning me up. He also made me feel really good in my little fire hose. Sometimes Mommy would as well but Dennis did it every time.

Dennis held my hand as he led me back to my room. Since he was small for his age he wasn't able to reach my changing table. To help him, Mommy bought a step stool that Dennis could use to get him up high enough to not only help me up on the table but also for him to change me.

Dennis then picked me up and stepped up on the stool before setting me on my changing table. Since Dennis was small, he didn't have the strength to carry me for long; this was why he didn't carry me back to my room.

"Boy Davey, it looks like we caught this one just in time! You are absolutely soaked!" Stated Dennis as he started to remove my sodden diaper.

Once Dennis had the wet diaper off, he began using baby wipes to clean the peepee from my diaper area. The next part of the diaper changing process was the special part. Dennis pumped some baby lotion into his hand and began to rub it into my diaper area, paying close attention to my little fire hose and bottom.

"Now Davey, don't let any peepee come out of your little doodle." Instructed Dennis.

"My little fire hose!" I corrected Dennis.

"Huh?" Dennis gave me a confused look. "What do you mean Davey?"

I looked up at Dennis and repeated what I had said. "My little fire hose."

Again Dennis looked confused. "Davey, what do you mean when you say `my little fire hose'?"

"Not doodle! My little fire hose!"

"Oh! I get it now! You are saying that you don't want to call this..." And he grabbed my little fire hose between two of his fingers. "...your doodle anymore but instead you want to call it your little fire hose?"

I just nodded my head. "Mommy say it my little fire hose." I tried to explain the best that a four year old could.

Dennis laughed. "Davey, you are such a cute little boy!"

I giggled too. "Davey cute!" I repeated.

This made Dennis laugh even more. Dennis went back to what he was doing. For a while he proceeded to make me feel good.

It was about an hour later, after Dennis was done making me feel good, that he finally started to re-diaper me. He pulled the last two diapers from the shelf underneath my changing table. Mommy was right, it turned out that there was exactly enough diapers.

Of the last two diapers, one was for Dennis as he was a bed wetter and Mommy preferred he wear a diaper when spending the night.

Because of the fun we had, both of us were naked. It was now time for the both of us to get diapered for the night. Dennis opened up one of the diapers and put it underneath my bottom. He quickly brought it up between my legs and covered my now softening little fire hose. So far he had been lucky as I didn't spring a leak during the time I was un-diapered. Of course this could be due to the fact that my little fire hose had been stiff through the whole time. But now with the fun over, there was a good possibility that I could spring a leak at any moment. He then taped the diaper securely on me. Now diapered and my bedtime quickly approaching, Dennis finally revealed his present for me as he lowered me back to the floor.

"Davey, I know how much you liked `Harold and the Purple Crayon', so for your birthday I got you another book with Harold in it. Do you want me to read it to you?"

I clapped my hands in excitement. "Yes read!" I excitedly told Dennis.

He smiled at my exuberance and went to his bag and withdrew a book. "Okay Davey, let's get you in bed."

"NO BED!" I stated defiantly.

"No bed means no Harold." Dennis stated calmly.

I looked at Dennis and pouted. "Me no want to go to bed!"

"Davey, you're tired and it is time for bed." Dennis did his best to convince me.

I continued to pout as Dennis took my hand and led me to my bed. I didn't fight him but instead allowed him to guide me to the intended destination.

Earlier, Mommy had already gotten my pajamas out for me and put them on my bed for Dennis to help me into. So with his help I put on my pajamas. He himself was still naked as the day he entered the world.

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I am not sure why, but my mind began to wander at this part in my dream. I found myself thinking about Dennis and how he was treated by his mom and the other kids at his school. I was a lot younger than he at the time, but even I realized that I was his only friend he seemed to have.

At 14, Denis was one of those kids that were picked on relentlessly by his peers at school. Some of the kids were very cruel to him. It didn't help that his mom would make him go to school without letting him shower. Because of this, the kids would make fun of him as he reeked with the smell of his dried pee all over his body; which of course was his mother's to embarrass him to become dry. When Mommy found this out, she told Dennis to come to our apartment before school and allowed him to use our shower so that he would at least be clean and free of the smell of pee.

Some would describe Dennis as very scrawny and definitely underdeveloped for his age. He had neither muscle tone nor any fat on his very trim frame. He was only 4ft 7 inches tall and at 60 pounds was underweight. He had auburn hair and blue eyes. His body usually sported a bruise or two from his mother hitting him. She was definitely not the mother of the year! Mommy has tried to look out for him as much as possible and Dennis has become like a second child for her.

Mommy has tried to report Dennis's mommy but so far nothing has been done about it that Mommy knows of.

Just as Dennis's body was underdeveloped, so was his little fire hose. It was about three inches when hard and very thin. Also, there was not a single hair to be found other than on his head.

Dennis usually waited until I was in bed and had my story read to me before he went to the bathroom for the last time, and then got himself diapered. He wasn't that good at diapering himself so Mommy always changed him when she got home from work. Sometimes I would wake up as she changes his diaper. She always got home very early in the morning, around 4am. Mommy did this so that his diaper wouldn't leak all over my bed. Mommy says that Dennis is a heavy wetter. Sometimes his diaper leaks before Mommy gets home and when this happens she has to get us out of bed so that she can change the bedding before changing Dennis and if I need it, changing me. Dennis has told me that he doesn't even wake up most of the time when Mommy changes him. Mommy says this is because Dennis is a heavy sleeper as well.

Why is it that dreams seem to just go from one thing to the next without any reason whatsoever? Just as it did when I started to think about Dennis, my mind jumped back to where I left off.

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"Okay Davey, time to get in bed." Dennis patted my bed.

Reluctantly I got in bed and scooted over before lying down. I stuck my thumb in my mouth as I watched Dennis get in bed next to me. He then held up the book so that I could see it before reading the title.

"Harold's Fairy Tale." He read out loud. He then opened the book so that I could see the pictures and started to read it to me. Like with `Harold and the Purple Crayon' I like this next book in the series very much.

When Dennis finished the story, he tucked me in. As I laid there sucking my thumb watching him, he got up and began to diaper himself. I watched sleepily as he put on his diaper. To make it easier for Mommy, he slept in the diaper only and didn't wear pajamas to bed. He also preferred not to wear pajamas as he felt they were too babyish for a 14 year old. Once he was diapered, he got in bed with me. Then before we fell asleep, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. Soon we were both in dream land.

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As I fell asleep in my dream, I woke up as my 11 year old self in the current time.

Once again I found myself in the small room and I was still strapped to the bed. At least this time I didn't wake up alone. I woke up to find a nurse in the middle of changing me and from the smell I knew I must have messed myself.

"What time is it?" I croaked.

My throat was extremely dry due to what I would find out later was my medication.

"Well good morning sleepy head!" The nurse announced cheerfully. "Your doctor was in here a few minutes ago but since you were still asleep she decided to let you sleep longer." The nurse explained as she taped the new diaper onto my bottom. "I will go now and let her know that you are awake."

She then gathered her things before leaving me once again all alone. It was while I was waiting for my doctor to come that I remembered that the nurse failed to let me know what time it was.

"What is the deal with nurses not wanting to tell their patients the time?" I thought to myself.

I had expected my doctor to come right away but it was over an hour later before she showed up. In fact breakfast had showed up right before she did. Since I had hoped to feed myself, I chose to wait until I talked to the doctor before eating.

I don't know why I was surprised when Doctor Brice entered the room. I should have realized that when they said `my doctor' that they actually meant `my doctor'.

"Good morning Davey! How do you feel this morning?" She asked respectfully.

"Huh... Um... Hello Doctor Brice." I said. I was shocked to see her. "What are you doing here for?"

"Now do I have to have a reason to check in on my special little boy?" Doctor Brice smiled as she asked this.

I didn't respond to this as I didn't know what to say. I just watched as Doctor Brice pulled up a chair next to my bed and sat down.

Once sitting, she noticed my tray of food sitting on the stand next to me. Even though she noticed, she decided to just ignore the food tray for now.

"So Davey, do you feel up to talking?" Doctor Brice asked then gave me a concerned look.

"Can I ask some questions first?" I asked hopefully. In the past, Doctor Brice has been good enough to answer my all my questions.

Doctor Brice nodded. "I would be more than happy to answer whatever questions that I can."

"Finally, I was going to hopefully get some answers!" I thought to myself, and then out loud I asked my first question. "What time is it and why did it take you so long to come back to see me?"

Doctor Brice checked her watch. "It is almost 9:45 in the morning. As for why it took so long for me to come back to see you this morning, you were asleep and I needed to talk to your Dad before he had to head into the courtroom this morning."

"Why didn't you just wake me then?"

"I felt that you needed your sleep and that I could return when you woke up. I just didn't expect you to wake up so soon. As you know, I am from Michigan like yourself, so I therefor don't have my own office while here. I have been using an empty office at the courthouse. That is where I went to talk to your dad and is why it took so long for me to return. Plus I also needed to make a few phone calls to my other patients back in Michigan."

"You have other patients? What are they doing while you are here?" I asked curiously.

"Well, for the most part, an associate of mine is taking over for me while I am here, but I am trying to still keep in touch with a few while here."

"That makes sense. I just didn't think about you have any other patients other than me." And before she could answer that, I remember that she said she saw my dad this morning. "Is my dad mad at me?" My eyes teared up a little as I asked this.

"No Davey, your dad is not mad at you and loves you very much. He is worried though that you tried to kill yourself." As she said this, the memory of what I almost did earlier came back to me. "We are all worried Davey." Doctor Brice took my hand gently into her own. "I want you to promise me something Davey. I want you to call me in the future if you ever feel like you might endanger your life again. I promise you Davey, that like your dad and uncle, I am here for you!"

"I am sorry I scared everyone so bad." I started to cry and it took me a few minutes before I could talk again. "I never meant to scare anyone! I don't know why I tried to jump. I just felt so sad and that the world could no longer bring me anything but sadness." I tried my best to explain to Doctor Brice.

"I understand Davey and so does everyone else."

"Will I be able to see them when they get out of court today?" I asked hopefully.

"I am sorry Davey, but that is just not possible right now." Doctor Brice seeing the confusion on my face explained further. "Davey, because of your suicide attempt, you are now under a suicide watch and strict observation through the weekend."

"But I didn't mean too..." I started to say but was cut off.

"I am sorry Davey, but during this period you will not be able to have any outside visitor, unfortunately this includes your dad. As soon as we are sure you won't attempt to hurt yourself, you will be able to earn more privileges and freedoms." Doctor Brice explained.

"I promise I won't hurt myself! I am just going nuts not being able to move much. Can I at least be freed from this bed?" I begged.

"I will tell you what Davey. I will allow you to be unrestrained, but if you even try to hurt yourself or anyone even once, I will have you strapped back down again and this time it will be a while before you will earn my trust again." I could hear the seriousness in her voice as she said this.

"I promise, I won't hurt myself or anyone else." I repeated for Doctor Brice's benefit.

"Davey I really want to believe you so don't let me down, okay kido?"

"Okay, but can I see my Dad after court is out?" I begged.

Doctor Brice sighed. "Davey, as I already said, the answer is no."

"Why?! Why can't I see my Daddy?!" I was now quickly starting to get upset again.

"Davey... Please don't get upset now." Doctor Brice tried to calm me.

"My Daddy doesn't want to see me!" I almost shouted.

"Your daddy does want to see you Davey. As I have tried to explain, he can't right now for the next couple days.

I don't know why, but her refusal started to make me once again angrier than ever. "THEN GET FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!" I screamed, tears pouring out of my eyes.

"Davey! If you don't calm down right now, I am going to leave."

"So LEAVE, EVERYONE LEAVES ME IN THE END!" I spat.

At this Doctor Brice got up and looked at the door. A second later it opened and an orderly came into the room holding a needle.

"Please... Please, don't give that to me!" I cried. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to get upset!"

"I know you have a lot of pent up anger and I don't blame you for it, but you have to learn the right way to vent." Doctor Brice explained as she got the needle ready.

Once she had prepped me for the shot, Doctor Brice gave me the injection herself all while still trying to explain to me why she was doing this.

"I am sorry Davey, because of this outburst, I am giving you this to help you calm down. Davey, I know how much you distrust needles, but you leave me no choice. I am sure that once the drug has taken effect, you will feel a lot better." Now done, Doctor Brice headed for the door following the orderly, who held the door open for her. Before she left though she stopped and turned around, "I want you to know that I am here for you and I promise, we will get you through this together."

"I am sorry, I am sorry, please don't leave me!" I cried.

Doctor Brice looked at me sadly. "I promise, I will come by later tonight. Hopefully you will feel up to talking then." Then she turned around and left the room. Once again I was all alone.

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The shot that was given to me must have been something to make me sleep as I dropped off at some point waiting for someone to come again. I didn't even awake when someone came in to change me or remove my food tray which I never even was able to take a bite from.

Now you might be wondering how I knew someone changed me and the simple answer was that while I was having my fit with Doctor Brice, I had soiled my diaper. I could tell that even though my current diaper was wet, I was almost sure it wasn't the same one. For one thing, the room no longer smelled like a dirty diaper.

I wasn't sure how long I had been out this time and was getting very bored laying there. I almost was beginning to wish someone would hit me with another dose of the sleeping medication so I wouldn't be so damn bored. Finally the door opened and in walked a nurse with a food tray.

"I bet you that you're hungry?" She smiled as she sat down next to me. "I figure that I will feed you first and then we will take care of that diaper.

I about said something sarcastic at her use of `we'! I mean there was no way I could help, as I was tied down to this stupid bed! `About' was the key word as my stomach was able to send a message to my brain before my mouth engaged.

"Hey brain! We are hungry down here! Please do us all a favor and tell your mouth to zip it!" I actually giggled as this thought ran through me.

"So little one what's so funny."

Again I made a conscious effort to shut my trap and in the end it paid off. Even though I had to be fed my lunch, I definitely enjoyed that meal which is not saying a lot for the quality of the food here. I was hungrier than I realized and the food actually made me feel a little better.

As the lady promised, as soon as I was fed all my lunch, she went to work on changing me into a dry diaper. I just laid there as my little fire hose was exposed once again to a stranger!

"You know, I think I might actually be getting over the embarrassment of being changed by people I don't know." I thought to myself. Then as she started to wipe my little guy down, he sprang to life and the previous thought was automatically vetoed as my face and neck flushed red. "Kill me now God!" I begged silently to myself.

The nurse either didn't notice or chose to ignore it. Whatever it was she just cleaned me up and hummed some babyish song that I remembered from my early childhood. This of course reminded me of the dream I had the night before. So as I laid there getting changed my mind relived the memory of the dream. Shoot, I was so caught up in the memory that I didn't even realize that the nurse had finished and long ago left.

When I did finally come back I was surprised to see the room empty. With nothing else to do, my mind started to think about Dennis the older boy I knew. He had babysat me from age 3 to age 5. We had, according to him, a very special relationship. One that until last night I had not even remembered existed. This memory actually answered some of the confusing feelings I had been having with Billy recently.

Time flowed from one memory to another until finally the nurse returned and once again changed my wet diaper. Like earlier I chose to just not focus on her but my memories. By dinner time, I had a chance to go back and relive all the memories I had been having the last few days. All except for the one I still refused to think about, the one that was eating me alive. Instead I chose to again ignore it and act like it wasn't there.

I was never happier for a meal time as I was when the dinner tray finally arrived. And who should be the one to bring it? That's right, it was Doctor Brice.

"Hello Davey. How are you doing this evening? Better than this morning I hope?" She smiled as she set the tray down.

"I am sorry I got mad earlier." I apologized.

"Don't worry about it no more Davey. We will just start fresh now and forget that ever happened.

I smiled, glad that she was upset with me. I had also had time to reflect on how my anger had gotten the better of me early that morning and decided to do my best to control it from this point on.

"Do you feel like feeding yourself this evening?"

I nodded my head yes. "I really do but I really think I need my diaper changed too."

I am not sure how long it had been, but I had a blowout at some point and filled the back end of my diaper once again. So far amazingly it didn't seem to stink; then again I probably just wasn't able to notice it due to my drugged state.

"Okay, I will get someone in here to take care of that." She went back to the door and knocked on it, a second later it opened and someone stuck their head in.

I heard her speaking to the person but wasn't able to clearly hear what she was saying. When she returned she brought the chair up next to my bed and sat in it.

"Someone will be in, in a few minutes. If you want, I will leave while they take care of you and then come back when they are done." Doctor Brice offered.

"If you don't mind the smell, I would prefer you to stay." Doctor Brice was about the only person in this place that I knew and trusted and I felt better in her presence.

"Alright then. Now, how about I undo these restraints so you can sit up and feed yourself?"

I smiled and nodded my head emphatically.

"Doctor Brice returned my smile. "I guess that means yes then." She laughed.

Doctor Brice then released my arms from the restraints and then removed the one on my chest that I didn't even realize was there. Now with my upper half freed, she helped me sit up in bed for the first time since I arrived at wherever I was. The bed was one of those hospital type beds that manually cranked up into a sitting position.

Now sitting up, I had a clearer view of the room I was being held in. Everywhere I looked, the room was padded. Even the furniture in the room was special padded furniture. It looked like a white weird jail cell. Of course it didn't help that it felt like one as well.

"So what do you think of the room?" Doctor Brice asked as she saw me look around myself.

I really wasn't sure what she wanted me to say so I decided to play it safe. "I guess its okay."

"Nah! I think it is too white for my taste!" Doctor Brice smiled when she got a giggle out of me. "Okay, no more jokes. It's feeding time." She then placed my tray in front of me and handed me a soft rubber spoon.

At first I wasn't sure if I would be able to eat with the flimsy thing, but soon got the hang of it and started to shovel the food in my mouth faster than I could chew.

"Whoa! Slow down there tiger!" I did as she asked and as I ate she just watched.

Shortly after I started to shovel food in my mouth, a nurse showed up with a diaper changing cart and went to work on my messy bottom. Don't ask me how I managed to continue to eat, as the smell that emanated from my butt, once the diaper was pulled away, filled the room. I am not even sure how I accomplished that feat. I was glad though once I was again in a clean diaper and the used one left with the nurse. From the green look on Doctor Brice's face, she was thinking the same thing.

Even at my slower pace, it still didn't take me long to finish everything on my tray. I even ate the peas, which tells you how hungry I was. If you don't get what I mean, then you don't know me. Let's just say I despise peas!

Once I was done eating, Doctor Brice set the tray aside and got down to business.

"Now Davey, I want you to know that as long as you cooperate and behave, that your stay here will be short and painless." She then gave me a serious look. "If there are any more outbursts, you will be restrained once again and be given another sedative like earlier."

"What's a sedative?" I asked.

"It is something that will calm you and usually makes you very sleepy."

"Okay, I will try and behave." I really wasn't wanting anymore shots.

"As I told you this morning, you will be in lockdown until this Sunday or until I see fit. This means that you will be here in this room alone with no visitors other than the staff and myself." And before I could ask, she stopped me. "I am sorry but as I also said earlier, your father will not be able to see you until Sunday; and that is only if you cooperate with us." Do you understand so far?"

I swallowed a lump in my throat and nodded my head yes.

"Good. Now Davey, while you are here, I am going to put you on a couple drugs that will help you. I expect you to take these pills when they are given to you. Will you do this for me?"

Again I nodded my head.

"Good boy!" And Doctor Brice smiled again. "Davey, I really believe that we can have you feeling better in no time and I am sure you will be seeing your Dad soon. I do have a few messages from him, would you like to hear them?"

This got my attention quickly. "Yes please."

"Well first your father and uncle want me to remind you that they love you very much. Your father also wants you to know that while he understands your behavior yesterday, he is not happy about it. He says he will be talking to you about what you will be doing to repay the damage you caused to items you broke."

This made me think about Scotty's CD player and that of course led my thinking to Billy and new tears fell from my eyes.

"What's wrong Davey?"

I sniffled and rubbed the snot dripping from my nose with the back of my hand. "Billy and his family hate me now!" I cried.

"Shhh, now now. I want you to know this, no one hates you! They are not happy with your behavior, that's a given, but they don't hate you. In fact the last message your father asked me to relay to you was that Billy hoped to see you again when you were feeling better."

"Really?" I asked as I rubbed away the tears.

"Yes he did. And his parents also sent their wishes that they hoped you got better soon, through your father as well."

This new information did wonders for me. I felt better than I had since this all started. Just the thought of knowing that Billy still wanted to be friends after everything that happened made me warm inside.

I ended up talking to Doctor Brice for the next hour or so and before she left with my tray, she even unstrapped the rest of the restraints holding me down and helped me out of bed and onto my feet.

Boy it felt great to walk around a bit as my muscles had become stiff and sore from being held in place. Before she left she helped me back into bed, this time unrestrained. A few minutes after she had gone, a nurse appeared and handed me a cup of water and a little cup with a few pills in it.

"Here you go sweetie, be a good boy and take these for me."

I did as she asked and swallowed the pills. The rest of the evening moved by slowly as my mind being so rested took a while to wind down. One of the things I thought of was – how boring it was going to be for the next couple days. I had asked Doctor Brice if I could at least watch TV or something, as I was big time bored. Her answer was of course `No' I was told I would first have to earn that privilege.

So to fight off boredom, the next few days were spent in deep memories, some even bordering on ones that I didn't want to remember. Time moved slowly and as Doctor Brice promised, she stopped in to talk to me every day. Eventually though, Sunday finally arrived and I had been told, that since I had behaved, I would be seeing my Daddy!

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"Daddy, I miss you so much!" I screamed as I threw myself into his arms.

I had finally earned the right to see my Dad and because of that I got to escape that cell that they call my room for a while. They took me to a room with several tables, several of them had kids talking to what I assumed was their parents as well.

"Davey! I missed you too!" And Dad kissed me on my forehead and squeezed me tight.

He then picked me up and held me. How badly I missed his strong arms holding me. I laid my head on his shoulder and sighed.

"Daddy, please take me home!" I whispered.

"Davey! Please don't get upset, but you know that can't yet. I will come and see you as often as they will let me; but you have to know that you are going to be here for some time."

Again I sighed, this time out of complete frustration, but at least I kept my cool. I had already been told that if I got upset at all, my visit would be cut short and it would be a while before I could earn the privilege of seeing Dad again. So I tried harder than ever to control my rage just boiling under the surface.

"How long will I have to be here?" I asked, pleading with all my heart that it wouldn't be too long.

So far, when I have asked Doctor Brice this question she had been vague with her answer. It was always the same, "It's going to be a while Davey."

I was glad that Dad didn't at least repeat Doctor Brice's answer, even if it wasn't any clearer than her had been. "I just don't know Davey. I hope not too long."

"But what about the court case?" I thought there was no way that Mr. Green would allow this to go on for too long.

"Well Davey, for now the case is going on. They started presenting evidence against Tony on Friday." As Dad said Tony's name, every muscle in my body stiffened. I felt my bladder give inside my diaper which had been changed right before I was brought out to my dad. "Davey are you okay?" Dad asked worried when he felt my body go stiff and rigid.

I managed to nod my head then set it back on his shoulder and cried for the next several minutes. Dad just held me and rubbed my back soothingly until the tears stopped.

"You feeling better now son?" Dad asked.

I nodded my head then hiccupped. That brought a little giggle forward and don't ask me why, as I still don't have the answer to what I thought was funny about a hiccup at that moment.

Anyway, I had a long visit with my Dad and he reassured me that everyone was wishing me the best and no one was mad. He did tell me that once I got better and the case was finished and we returned home, that I would have to work off my debt for the destruction I caused and he had to pay for. I apologized to him about it but I was informed that even though he accepted my apology, there was no getting out of the punishment.

All in all, it was a good visit and the end came sooner than I wanted. Dad had to have help, to pry me from his arms. All the crying from me was not changing the fact that my time was up and my dad had to go. He did promise to see me Monday and then still crying I was led back to that hateful room.

All of this would be repeated every day for the next three weeks. I had been in there for so long in fact that Mr. Green had to get another continuance.

Because I did as I was told, I earned all of my freedoms. Eventually I was allowed so much dayroom time along with daily visits from Dad and later Uncle Justin. Doctor Brice was happy with how I was coming and she even got me to open up a little about how I felt over Tommy's murder. In the end she decided I was ready, even though I still refused to talk about the events that led to Tommy's death. She felt I was close to doing so and because of this, with Dad's help, she arranged a surprise for me. Of course I wouldn't learn of it until the day I returned to court.

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During those three weeks locked up, I spent a lot of time in my memories. Most of them were rehashed memories constantly looping on me. One night though, a new unlocked early childhood memory came to me while sleeping.

This time I was 6 years old and it was right before my mommy started doing drugs. It was a warm summer afternoon and she took me to the local park to play. This was something that Mommy tried to do as often as she could.

Since she still worked a lot, we didn't get a lot of time like this together. So when she had the time she tried to make it the best for me. This was adventures to the local Zoo or the Park or somewhere else just as interesting for a 6 year old boy and his mother.

Even though we still lived in the same apartment building, I was no longer allowed to see Dennis. Mommy never explained this but she did tell me that Dennis had to go away for a while and when he got back, he would not be able to babysit anymore.

At first this was hard on me as I loved Dennis very much, but as Mommy said, Dennis went away for a while and no matter how many times I threw a fit, nothing could change that fact. When he got back months later, he would no longer even say hello to me. This hurt as I thought he no longer liked me.

Mommy did her best to find another babysitter that I would like as much as Dennis and even though a few were close, none would ever replace him. So Mommy tried to make up for it as much as she could.

This particular day was so warm that Mommy decided to allow me to run around in just my diaper. Some may find this strange but to me it was normal. Now as I am remembering it, a few people made some rude remarks to my mommy, but there was a real nice lady in the park that overheard the rude comments and told Mommy to never mind them, that they were just busy bodies that didn't know how to mind their bees-wax.

For a while as I played in the sandbox, getting sand in every crevice including my diaper, Mommy and the lady sat on a nearby park bench and talked as they watched me have fun.

At one point during their conversation, Mommy excused herself and came and got me. She must have realized that I was in the process of dirtying my diaper. I was still refusing to use the potty, though I was now recognizing more and more when I needed to at least poop. This was one of those times. She headed my way when she saw me stand up in the sand box, squat, and grunt a little, as I filled the backside of my diaper.

Never once did she get mad at me. In fact she laughed when she approached me and asked if I was done pooping. I just smiled and nodded my head. Mommy then took my hand and led me back to the bench where the older lady was still sitting.

Mommy didn't hesitate; she laid me on the bench and started to pull things out of the diaper bag to get ready to change my diaper.

If people thought it was bad that Mommy allowed me to run around in just a diaper, you should have seen them once she began to remove my poopy diaper right on the bench in plain sight of everyone. The older lady shooed most of them away though and Mommy just ignored the rest. As for me, the whole process didn't faze me a bit.

The older lady even helped Mommy clean me up faster so that I could go back and play some more. Soon my butt was cleaned and I was securely taped into a fresh clean diaper which I immediately baptized before I was off the bench. Of course this wasn't intentional. Just the way it worked out.

The thing I remember most about this day though was how much Mommy loved me and defended me against those who would declare her an unfit mother. The funny thing was, in just a few short months, drugs would make her that way!

There was one other thing that I remembered that day which totally took me by surprise, I recognized the older lady. Now some may say that it is wishful thinking or that I must have been wrong and that it was too unlikely. But I am as sure as I am that the sun will rise tomorrow, that the person in the park was none other than Hilda herself!

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