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Chapter 4: The Nightmare
I opened my eyes just enough to where they were barely slits and found them immediately assaulted by bright glaring light. Instantly my eyeballs felt like they were on fire. Desperately trying to save my eyes I quickly re-closed them. As for my sore body I felt like I had been run over by a freight train. I could feel pain everywhere. To make matters even worse I had a pounding headache so bad, that I thought my recently burned eyeballs were going to explode behind my eyelids.
"Oh well, at least they won't be assaulted by light again" I thought to myself.
I could feel a slight smile play itself across my face though it was only briefly as a shooting pain rocketed through my brain and I shrieked out of agony.
I guess my shriek of pain announced to someone that I was back in the world of the living, as I heard him say my name. "Oh god Davey, please son, tell me you are okay!" I was pretty sure that it was my dad speaking, but with the fogginess and pounding pain in my head, plus the unwillingness to reopen my eyes, I could not be 100% certain who it was.
"Come on Davey, look at me, I need you to tell me where you are hurting!" I heard the man say, with noticeable panic in his voice.
I tried to do what I was asked but just the action of trying to move my throbbing head, caused a jet of pain to shoot through my brain. The pain was so great I could feel myself slipping back into the unconscious world. I could hear the man speak to me but his voice sounded as if it were getting further and further away. The voice was almost to the point where I wouldn't be able to hear it much longer.
"Come on son, stay awake! You need to stay awake. The ambulance is on its way. I need you to be alert when they get here!" The man cried and it was then, that I was sure it was my father. With this new knowledge I desperately tried to do what Dad asked.
As I fought back the now engulfing darkness with every bit of will power I could muster, I soon found myself winning. As the darkness slipped away, I found the only darkness was that which was caused from my closed eyes. Even though my eyes were being squeezed tightly shut, I could still see small beams of light make it through my eyelids. Even that small amount of light seemed to increase the throbbing in my head.
"Dad... " I tried to get out but just the act of speaking hurt.
"I am here Davey, try taking a few breaths and try again," instructed my father.
Doing what He asked I took in a couple breaths and let them out. This also caused some minor pain in my chest area, but it was nowhere near the pain level that I was experiencing in my head.
Barely talking loud enough to even be called a whisper; I once again tried to talk. "Dad... can you please turn off the light, it is making my head pound."
"Okay, just a second Davey and I will get them," Dad responded.
A few seconds later I could tell the lights were now off as everything behind my eyelids became darker. Dad was quickly back at my side; I knew this as I felt his warm breath caress my face. Slowly I once again tried to open my eyes.
As I opened my eyes wider and wider, I realized the room we were in was not totally dark. I could see a box near the ceiling across the room with a soft light coming from it. Surprisingly this light did not bother my eyes too much. Trying to figure out where I was, I swished my eyes back and forth around the room. I soon discovered that was in vain and that it was a lot more difficult than it should be. For some reason everything seemed to be blurry I also noticed halos of light around my eyes. Confused and not knowing where I was, I couldn't help feeling a little lost.
"Well at least Dad is with me," I thought to myself still grimacing as I felt the pain all over my body.
"Dad... " I started to speak as a shiver ran through my body. "...Dad I'm cold."
"I know son, someone went to find a blanket for you."
"Okay," I acknowledge hoping that it would be quick as I shivered once again. I then tried to once again ask the question I had intended to ask before the cold so rudely interrupted me.
"Dad... " My voice, still barely a whisper, "where am I?" I asked since I still was not sure.
"You are in the bathroom at the restaurant." Dad told me with his tender voice.
I again tried looking around the room, even though everything was still blurry, something about the room didn't look right. Yes I couldn't see any detail but what I could notice was this bathroom seemed bigger than the one at the restaurant. "Maybe we are in the Ladies room," I thought to myself. It wouldn't have been the first time I had been inside of a Ladies room. Like most boys my age, I really didn't like the idea of being in the Ladies bathroom. Then again, at the moment I was in so much pain that I just didn't care.
"Dad... " I said in a slightly louder voice. "Are we in the Ladies bathroom?" I asked still wanting to know where I was.
"Not exactly Davey." Dad's answer of course confused me. "Please don't you worry about that right now Son. Can you tell me where you are hurting?" Dad asked worriedly.
Instead of answering Dad's question, I couldn't still help wonder about the room we were in. It confused me and I didn't like that at the moment, as it made me worried that I might have been kicked so hard in the head that I might be suffering brain damage. Still, there was no way that it could have been the Boys bathroom, that bathroom was much smaller and packed then what this room was. Still looking around and trying to focus on anything in my line of sight, it almost seemed as if my eyes were getting worse rather than better. This of course made me worried as to what was wrong with my eyes. This of course made me think about brain damage again. I know it seems silly, but I just wasn't thinking clearly at that moment.
"My eyes... " I started to tell dad when another eruption of pain came along.
As I felt the pain erupt through me my body became rigid and I was sure my face contorted as the pain made it to my head, which throbbed worse than ever. The pain was starting to become too much and was not even close to be considered bearable. The new onslaught of pain brought forth hot burning tears. These were not tears of anger or embarrassment. They were not the tears of fear or love. These were the large tears caused by intense pain. At that moment I decided that I would welcome the blackness with arms open wide to come back and engulf me. I would do anything to make the pain go away. I think Dad must have realized that I was about to give up and snapped his fingers in front of my face. This of course worked as it re-focused my attention.
"Now Davey what about your eyes, can you tell me that big guy?" I just nodded my head at Dad while waiting for the newest bout of pain to subside.
"My eyes hurt real bad, and everything's real blurry Daddy." I cried as another, but not as sharp, pain erupted through my frail body.
Dad crouched down over my body so that he could study my eyes and see if there was any more damage other than bruising. I then felt my Dad's strong arms wrap around me, as he lightly hugged me to himself. "Don't worry Davey, I promise, you will be okay," I heard my Dad tell me as he began to weep on my shoulder.
At about this time I heard a knock on what sounded like the door. "Is it okay for me to enter?" I heard a somewhat familiar voice on the other side of the door.
"Yes it's okay," answered Dad.
I then heard and barely saw someone open the door and enter the room.
"Mr. Brown, I wanted to tell you I am very sorry about what happened to your son. I tried my best to get to him, but it happened so fast." The newcomer told my dad.
"No problem Sir... " Dad started to say.
"It's Gary Mr. Brown." I heard the man who said his name was Gary tell my dad.
"Anyway like I thought, I found an old blanket back in the storage closet." As he said this he handed the blanket to my dad. Also the police have come and picked up the kid who beat up your Son. They asked me to let you know that they would be by the hospital sometime in the morning to get a statement from your son." Gary explained to my dad.
"Thank you Gary, I really appreciate it for all your help." At this Dad gently lifted me into a slight reclining position and then covered me with the old, scratchy, mothball smelling blanket. Even with all that I was happy for the warmth it game me.
I am not sure why I had not noticed it before, but I was sitting half lying on the so called bathroom floor. But that is not what I was talking about. No, what I was referring to was that I had been lying there completely naked. My hands touched what I thought would be the hard cold tile of the floor but I noticed it wasn't cold but was warm and soft to the touch.
"My changing pad I thought to myself." I had been on it enough to know by touch what I could not see with my eyes.
I then noticed that instead of sitting against the hard wall, my back, head, and shoulders was actually being caressed by a soft fuzzy plush like object about half the size of me. I wouldn't find out until tomorrow morning what that object was.
As I was trying to get my surroundings by using my other four senses I was able to confirm what Dad said. I started with the sense of touch. When I reached further out on the floor, my hand touched hard, cold, tile. Smelling the air I could smell a mixture of bleach, ammonia, and air freshener which barely covered the smell of fecal matter and the smell of urine, of course the last two could have been coming from me. The sense of taste allowed me to not only smell the odors but also taste them, which I found was slightly disgusting. As for the sense of hearing, the only noise I could hear besides my pounding heart trying to rip through my chest was the voices belonging to Dad and Gary. I listened as Dad and Gary were talking to each other. I know what I was doing was eavesdropping but I really wanted to know what was going on, so I went ahead and listened in on their conversation.
"I am so sorry about your Son. If I can do anything please let me know and of course your meals are on me tonight." Gary told my dad.
"Out of curiosity, how did the police get here so quick?" I heard Dad ask Gary.
"The officers were at the diner across the street when they got the call. Don't worry Mr. Brown; I can already hear the ambulance coming." With that said, Gary excused himself and left the bathroom.
I indeed could now hear the faint sound of sirens as they approached the restaurant.
"Dad... " I started to ask.
"Yes Davey, I'm still here." Dad assured me.
"Where are my clothes?" I asked my dad.
"I am sorry Davey; they were a mess so I threw them out."
"Daddy... " I started to say when another sharp pain shot through my body.
"Davey... Are you okay, what's wrong?" my dad asked pleadingly.
"Am I okay, is something wrong?" I frustratingly thought to myself, where in the world do I start. Before I could voice anything though, another jet of pain sliced through my body. I started crying as the pain was way too intense for me to bear any longer.
"Daddy, please stop the pain! It hurts so badly!" I cried out, now crying even harder.
"Davey I am so sorry, if I could, I would do anything to take that pain away." Dad cried softly, I could tell by Dad's voice that like me he was now crying. "Davey I know it hurts but please stay with me baby!" Dad begged as my eyes were starting to close.
Trying to do what my daddy wanted I tried my best to reopen my eyes but this time it was a losing battle. "Daddy, what's wrong with me?" I asked just as the darkness swallowed me again.
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Fear awakens me; my heart is pounding and feels like it is going to break through my chest at any moment. I look around to see what had awakened me but I can't see anything but blackness. There is not a speck of light anywhere in my room.
The total absence of light meant even shadows did not exist in this darkness. The fear I am feeling starts to grow in me and manifest itself as complete and utter terror.
"Why am I so terrified?" The question bounced around in my head for a few minutes until the fear knocked it back out of me.
I have always been scared of the dark, no take that back, the dark doesn't scare me as much as the absence of light does. Don't get me wrong the dark does scare me and I have cried several times when I was forced to "deal with it" as my mom would tell me.
I strain my eyes hoping I could see whatever it was that awoke me. I need to see it, to prepare for it, to even avoid it!
Then I wondered, "Why is there no light coming from the window?" This thought was answered immediately with my next thought. "That's right... broken... boarded up..."
Again I feel a wave of terror wash over me like a freezing cold ocean wave. It does not help that I am sitting in a pee soaked bed. As the chill makes it through my soaked pajamas to my clammy skin and freezes my pee covered body, I feel a deep and powerful shiver run through me and down my spinal cord.
My thoughts again go to why and what had awakened me from the depths of sleep.
Not able to use my eyes, my other senses pick up where my eyes have failed me. Straining my ears I could hear the wind howling outside, the constant sound of thunder, and what sounded like hail striking the building outside. I never really liked thunderstorms, in fact hated them, but this was not what had awakened me. It was something far scarier and sinister that had brought me away from the land of sleep. I continued to strain my ears while trying to block out the sounds of the storm outside. I am starting to think that maybe my mind was playing tricks on me when suddenly I hear it. It is this familiar noise that had awakened me this evening. Hearing it brought panic upon me so great that my Bowels release inside my pajama bottoms, but this barely registers with me as my body begins to tremble with fear.
I try to call out for help but all I can get out of my throat is a soft dry croak. I know what is about to happen as it has happen many times before, and I know there is nothing I can do to stop it! My only friend I ever had that could have protected me was now long gone. I am all alone, just a small child in a large evil world.
Once again I try to call out for help.
"Mommy, please help..." But the plea barely comes out of me louder than a whisper and I find that my throat closes off trapping anymore noise from escaping it.
Straining my ears once more, I again hear the familiar sound and knew I would soon be facing my own personal demon, my own monster.
A lot of kids I know have been afraid of their own monsters. For some it is the monster under the bed. For others, it is the monster in the closet. No matter what your boogeyman is, it could never be worse than my own.
My boogeyman unlike many others does not only come out at night in the dark, though it seems to prefer it over a daytime attack. It is a monster beyond comprehension. It is a monster with teeth that gnash and claws that tear the skin away from your bones. It would more than happily tear me into pieces but has more fun wounding me and playing with me like a piece of meat.
I can hear the monster getting closer and I knew that it would soon be upon me. Hard as it is to believe, my heart begins to beat even faster.
Thumpedity—Thumpedity—Thumpedity—Thumpedity—Thumpedity—Thumpedity—Thumpedity—Thumpedity—Thumpedity—Thumpedity
I knew this time for sure that if my Heart did not break through my chest that it would smash itself to pieces in the attempt to do so.
Once again I try to cry out, "MOMMY!" This time I can hear the words as they pass through my lips and bounce off the walls of my small room. Even though my cry is loud enough to be heard, no help comes and of course I know why. My monster of course took care of my Mother first.
Knowing that no one was coming to help me I try to run from my bed, to hide, to play dead, too escape. Instead of moving as my brain demanded my legs to do, I found myself paralyzed with another overwhelming wave of fear.
As my monster got closer to my room I could now not only hear him approach but I swear I could smell him as well. I knew the stench all to well and knew it would get worse the closer it got to me. I have actually puked at its smell in the past and knew I would probably do so again tonight.
Once again I have my brain demand my body to move and again my legs betray me! "Damn it! Move!" I command my brain to move my legs. Of course like before this did no good. My body was not going to be listening to my brain or me at this point.
I can now hear the monsters footsteps enter the hallway and all of a sudden there is light coming from under the crack of my bedroom door. As that small bit of light entered my room it threw shadows on my walls, floor, and ceiling. These shadows... these dark and scary ghosts... these frightening beasts... these minions... that served their master, my monster faithfully, did not help my fear at all. Instead I found my fear escalating and I was almost positive the shadowy minions sent from the underworld were mocking me. They knew their existence in my room as my monster got closer to me, frightened me beyond belief. I beg the minions to please go away but inside my head I could hear them laugh at and taunt me.
"Oh Davey, do you really think we would ever want to leave you? You, who give us life from your fear, no Davey, we are here to stay."
All of a sudden I hear the monster stop and pause in the hallway and surprisingly this scared me even more as the suspense of not knowing was killing me with fear.
When I hear my monster turn around and head back out to the living room of our small apartment I think for a moment that maybe my monster must have changed his mind. As much as I want to believe this I notice that the hallway light was still on and the evil minions from the underworld were still in my room taunting me.
I then did something I haven't done since I was a real small child, back to a time when mommy hadn't yet started doing drugs. I prayed! I didn't get on my knees like I did when I was real young and I didn't close my eyes either. I did though pray with all my heart, mind, and soul; in hopes that God or his son Jesus would come to my rescue.
"Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If I shall die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take."
I repeated, and repeated, and kept repeating this prayer over and over to myself. I guess God must be punishing me or thinks this is all a great big joke, as he never did come to my rescue. It was if the minions knew this would be the case as I heard them continue to taunt me.
"Oh Davey, do you really think your God is going to save you from us and our master? Do you really think he has control over us. We laugh in the face of your God. He is nothing but a flicker compared to us." The minion taunted me inside my head.
I tried to block out their taunts but no matter what, I was not able to do so. They were too strong and I was a weak helpless small child who has used his pants and bed as a toilet from the fear outside my door.
All through the prayer the monsters minions continued to taunt and frightened me. Nothing I did seem to matter to them. They were more than happy to live off my fear of them and my monster, the Master they served.
After a while had gone by I couldn't help but wonder that maybe my monster had decided to not come for me tonight after all, and if it hadn't been for his minions I think I might have been able to allow my fear to flow out of me and return to sleep. But nooo, I could not sleep as the monsters minions kept up their taunts. They were letting me know that my monster would be coming for me soon and that they would enjoy it when he came and grabbed me, threatening to tear me open with its claws.
By now I was actually begging for the utter and total blackness of my room again. In fact I would have welcomed it with open arms at that moment. I knew at least my monsters minions could not exist in utter total blackness.
"Oh Davey, you can wish all you want but we are here to stay until our master bids us away. We love to torture small children such as yourself and we even prefer young prepubescent boys over girls as their fear taste sweeter to our tongues." I heard the minions say inside my head.
"No! No! Go away, leave me alone! I demand you to leave my room at once!" The last part I said out of desperation as I had seen priest on TV who were able to get rid of an evil spirit just by commanding it to leave. Unfortunately this did no good for me and then again I was no priest. Then a thought popped into my head about Holy Water. Even though it might help me in the future, I did not currently have any Holy Water on me.
"No matter what you do you can't stop us Davey, you're too little and nowhere strong enough to even make us blink." The minions tortured me inside my head.
I was broken and the minions knew it. They knew my every weakness... my cracks... my flaws... They were right, I had no way of fighting them or my monster off. I was too little. I wasn't strong enough.
As I held my face in my hands weeping from fear, I again heard the creaking of the apartment floor boards as my monster made his way again towards my bedroom door. My weeping quickly turned to wails as the monster got closer to my door.
As he came closer and now was right on the other side of my bedroom door the monster paused as if it were rethinking his decision of tearing me to pieces. For that momentary pause I held my breath and didn't let it out again until I heard the beast on the other side of my door grab my bedroom door handle. When I heard it grab and turn the handle my fear rose in me so fast that I found my voice and let loose from my voice box an ungodly scream that would have awakened the dead, let alone everyone in the apartment building.
Now you would think that a kid screaming like this at such a late hour would have had someone calling the police and reporting it, but that was not the case in our apartment building. People here are so use to hearing people hollering and screaming at each other that they tend to tune it out.
As I heard the handle finally finish turning, my eyes quickly dart around my room, looking for anyplace that I could hide.
"Oh Davey, remember you can't hide from us, we can see you wherever you try to hide." Taunted the minions.
As the bedroom door started to open it let out a loud creeeaaaakkkkk. At first the monster opened it slowly, allowing the creaking of my bedroom door terrify me even more. Then with great force the beast flung the door the rest of the way open.
The first thing I noticed was the blinding light that burned my retinas as my eyes had gotten used to the near blackness of my room. Now with the bright light from the hallway pouring into my room my eyes had not had the time to adjust. Because of this, not only were my eyes assaulted by the light. I was temporarily blinded and saw black spots in front of my face.
As my eyes finally adjusted to the bright light, I was able to now look towards my bedroom door and see the huge silhouette of the monster standing in my doorway. The shadow that fell onto my floor in front of him was larger and scarier than any of the minions that were still taunting me in my room.
"Oh Davey, our master is finally here. Oh boy now the true fun really starts." The minions bellowed inside my head. "Maybe this time our master will pity you and end your suffering." The minions laughed.
All of a sudden I saw the monsters shadow move along my floor. This got my attention quickly as I looked up and saw my monster heading towards me a small helpless boy cowering in his piss soaked bed.
Once again I let out a loud terrifying scream that even scared myself. Without even realizing it my legs and body had gone into survival mode. It took a second to notice that I was no longer cowering in my bed, but was now running towards the farthest corner of my room to attempt to put as much distance between me and my monster.
Of course I knew this wouldn't stop him and sure enough the beast changed directions, now heading towards the corner I had squeezed myself tightly into. It was now more than ever that I wished I still had my friend, my protector here with me right now. At least when he was around I knew he would protect me from this beast... this monster... and even when he couldn't stop the monster, my friend would then spirit me away and out of my body so that I would not have to experience any of what is about to happen. But my friend was no longer with me and hadn't been for quite some time so I now had to face my monster alone.
It didn't take it very long to cross my bedroom floor and soon was hovering over my small trembling body. The smell that emanated from it was the worst I ever had to endure from this beast. I once again found my body failing me as my bladder let loose all over me and that patch of carpet in the corner of my room. Unlike my soiling incident earlier, I felt and knew I was wetting myself. It didn't matter though that I knew, as there was no way I would be able to stop it; even under normal circumstances.
I don't know if it was because of my wetting or the stench coming from the back seat of my pajamas bottoms, but at that moment the monster bellowed in anger and let out several angry growls.
I knew from the past that the monster did not like the smell or mess of my boy pee or poop. It had even caused it to turn away, but not anymore. No my monster has now gotten use to my failed attempts to control my bodily waste. Only now if it finds me sitting in my own personal toilet it becomes more ferocious and angry. I also knew right at that moment that this time would be no different, if anything it was going to be worse.
As it reached down towards me my mind completely crumbled and I went completely instinctive, which was defense mode and begging.
"NO! NO! NO! Leave me alone pleeeaaassseee!" I cried.
I felt its paws with their sharp claws grab at me and at that my body jumped as I continued to cry out "NO! NO! NO! NO!"
I sat bolt up right still screaming "NO! NO! NO! NO!"
"Davey! You are okay, you are safe." My Dad tried to calm me.
The trouble was at that moment I was still stuck in the nightmare where my monster was attacking me and doing horrid things that should never be done to a small defenseless child.
I never heard my dad's voice all I heard was the growl that was coming from the beast who had me. I was also smelling the stench that was emanating from not only its mouth, but also seeping from his pores.
What I did not know was I had just been placed on the gurney from the ambulance and the paramedics had yet to strap me in. I not only shocked them when I suddenly sprung forward, but I also scared my dad to death. Of course I don't remember any of this, all I remembered was the nightmare and what the monster was doing to me. I wouldn't find out about all what happened until the next day. When Dad did tell me all that happened the night before I tried my best to remember it all, but for the life of me I was completely blank and had no memory of any of those events.
Anyway at that point in time I had jumped up from that gurney still naked as a jay bird screaming all the way to the propped open bathroom door. According to Dad I had been screaming my head off yelling NO! NO! NO! NO! Over, and over, and over again.
I was really embarrassed with what I had done next and am partially glad I did not remember these events. As my dad, the paramedics, along with the police and a few others tried to grab me, I managed to somehow avoid them all still stuck in my nightmare. I somehow made my way outside and was running down the street in all what God gave me, that is until I was tackled by a cop who happened to be walking from his parked cruiser that he left on the side of the road.
Just the weight of the cop on me made my nightmare more real as I felt the weight of my monster on me, suffocating me in his horrid stench.
The cop then threw me over his shoulder holding me in order that I wouldn't fall as I was wiggling all over the place. As I already mentioned I was still stuck in my nightmare and everything the cop was doing, I felt the monster doing to me. I was sure it was going to take me back to where it came from and I knew, just knew beyond a doubt that I would then never escape from his lair and would be trapped there for the rest of my life.
As I was carried the monsters stench became so bad that like I have done so many times before, I vomited all over my monsters furry back. In reality though, I had vomited on the officer who almost dropped me when he felt my contents of my recent meal on his neck and running down his back.
Somehow the officer managed to keep me in his grasp and I guess just tried to ignore my putrid liquefied dinner which was continuing to spew out of me.
When my dad had finally ran up to the cop who had me, he at that point took me as the officer was more than happy to dump me off with anybody in order to try and clean my retched mess I made on his back.
"Davey calm down buddy you are safe. No one is going to hurt you. Please calm down, we need to get you to the hospital." Dad tried his best to calm me as he hugged my naked body tightly to himself, trying to overcome my fear with his undying love.
I guess it had worked because according to what he told me later I finally stopped screaming and trying to get away. I guess this was at the point in my nightmare where I managed to do something that I had not been able to do on my own before. I escaped from what my monster was doing to me, not bodily but more like spiritually. I no longer felt the monster claws or putrid breath on me. I have not been able to do this since before I lost my friend and protector, and like I already said, never on my own before.
The last thing my dad told me was, that as soon as I was strapped onto the gurney and placed into the ambulance which he had also got in to accompany me to the hospital; I looked at him and said, thank you daddy and promptly once again passed out.
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