web counter
Please Note that this part contains Chapters 4 – 8 and replaced the original link for Chapter 4.
Please, if you enjoy mine and other people's stories here on Nifty, feel free to make a charitable donation to Nifty so that they can keep hosting these wonderful stories!
If you would like to email me, you can reach me at johndazel@hotmail.com
Titanic
Written by JD © 1999
Part 2: Day 1
(April 10th, 1912)
Chapter 4: Tim's Desire
Sunlight was pouring through the porthole in our cabin, but still in the grip of the dream which was quickly fading, I didn't notice it right away. I shivered due to the cold I was feeling because my pajamas were soaked with a cold, clammy sweat that was just pouring out of me. When I finally did notice the sweat, I still hadn't noticed right away of another soaked wetness. That is until after mom calmed me down. This wetness I knew was not caused by my sweat, but by another warmer fluid that I was very familiar of.
Mom, who had heard me scream out was the first who came rushing over to me as I sat there shivering and trying to shake the dream that seemed so real in the end that I thought I was about to die. I had stopped screaming physically from Mom's embrace, cooing, and soft voice. Still, my mind was doing so mentally and it took mom's further comfort, to help ease me back into reality.
"What's wrong honey?" she asked gently in my ear as she was shushing at me and gently rubbing my back.
That's when I finally calmed down enough to notice the other more severe and soaking dampness surrounding me on the bed. Tim had also woken up from my screaming and seemed disturbed by it. I was not sure whether it was because I woke him or if it was because he was upset about the soaking wet bed. At that moment I had a hard time working up enough guts to ask him if he was upset with me. Not much later, I would come to a conclusion on my own that he was thrilled with it.
"Uh..." Tim started to ask. "Why is the bed so wet?" I wasn't sure who he was asking, but I assumed it was both of us he asked. I was so embarrassed that I didn't say a word hoping no one would figure out the truth.
That is when my mom noticed that my pajamas were soaked from a heavy sweat that was still pouring off of me. Still embarrassed but I was also glad when my mom told Tim not to worry, that I had obviously had a bad dream and ended up sweating up a storm. This was usual for me during a bad dream.
I could feel the warm dampness on my pajama bottoms. I also felt the unmistakable wet spot underneath my body, which was warmer and stickier then the cold sweat pouring off the other parts of my body.
I knew I needed to figure out a way to keep from getting caught about wetting the bed. I knew real quickly though that with Tim saying what he did and the unmistakable smell of urine that I was just starting to notice; I knew that my initial hope of getting away with the fact that I wet the bed was not going to happen. I knew my mom would put two plus two together eventually and realize what I had done. Right now she was worried about me so she didn't notice the strong smell of the urine which in time would only get stronger. Even though I knew it was a losing battle I still prayed that she would not notice. I even thought for a minute that I might get away with it. When she didn't seem to notice before she left for the bathroom at the end of the hall, I thought I was free and clear.
"Boys your fathers and Jane have gone down to breakfast already I decided to allow us to sleep in a little." Mom stated as she looked for a towel. "Since you boys are awake now, I want you to hurry and get ready. When I come back we will go down and meet them in the dining hall.
"Okay we will get ready Ma'am." Tim said respectively.
Before going out the door Mom looked at me, "After breakfast is over I want you to tell me about your nightmare."
I just nodded and said, "Okay Mom."
"I am heading to the women's bathroom boys. I still need to get ready for the day. I will be back real quick and want you dressed and ready by the time I get back." And at that she walked out the stateroom door.
As soon as she was gone I jumped up and surveyed the damage done to the bed.
Tim who still hadn't gotten up at that moment didn't like the blankets being pulled off of him. He just wrapped himself up in the blanket on his side of the bed. With the blankets at least off half of the bed I could now see the large round wet spot that even found its way under Tim. As before, I also noticed the faint unmistakable scent of urine.
I couldn't believe myself! I ended up doing what I had hoped and prayed that I would never do again. All of a sudden I thought what would Tim say once he found out? Would he make fun of me and not like me anymore? Or would he sympathize and understand?
It didn't take long to find out because at that moment Tim finally got out of bed.
"I tell you I am having trouble sleeping in this wet spot" Tim Moaned. "How can you sweat so..." Tim started to ask me. I guess that is when he noticed the wet pattern and I guess the smell of the urine on the bed.
"That's not sweat that's pee." "You mean I have been sleeping in pee?" Tim asked.
I just stood there and nodded my head in shame there was nothing else I could do but nod my head yes.
I looked at Tim and said in desperation, "I am so sorry I peed on you, I know now you won't want to be my friend but please don't tell anyone what I did!" I begged and started to cry. "I had a real bad nightmare that scared me so bad that it made me wet the bed." I tried to give him an excuse for why at my age I wet the bed.
As we got out of our pajamas which were freshly wet with my pee, and got cleaned up, I went ahead and told Tim about my nightmare.
When I was finished telling him about the dream and how real it felt he looked shocked.
"Shoot, if I had a dream like that I would have probably wet the bed too!" Tim exclaimed.
"Tim do you hated me because I wet the bed like some little kid and got my pee on you?"
I was completely shocked when he answered, "no."
"Don't worry I won't tell anyone. In fact I wet the bed until a couple months after my 8th birthday. I completely understand how you feel. Now how do we clean up the wet spot?"
I felt a whole lot better when Tim told me about his previous problems as a bed wetter.
"Wow! I thought that only Justin and I were the only ones our age to still wet the bed."
Tim listened to all of this with a lot more attention that I expected. I didn't notice it until later Tim never asked me about who Justin was. Anyway Tim seemed almost giddy with my tale of wetting the bed. Noticing this I couldn't help but say what I said next to him.
"Tim I can't help but notice that you seem happy that I wet the bed".
"If you want I can tell you my bed wetting story?" Tim Offered
********************
Tim's Story
When he was 8 years old he started to become dry at night and was happy like anyone would be that had that kind of problem, but something was also bugging him about becoming dry.
It wasn't until he almost turned 10 that he realized what had been bugging him. Ever since he stopped wetting his bed he realized that he enjoyed wetting the bed. Not only did enjoy wetting his bed but missed the warm wetness underneath him every night.
The idea of wetting his bed on purpose came stronger and stronger and he also realized that he wanted to do more than just wet his bed. So one night, the urges won out over his potty training, and he decided to try wetting his bed that night.
He went to bed with a full bladder hoping that after he fell asleep that he would end up peeing the bed while he was asleep. By doing it this way he could therefore claim honestly that it was an accident instead of knowing he did it on purpose.
It was hard to do with a full bladder but sleep did finally take over his body.
Sometime around 3 am he woke up with a screaming bladder and without thinking started to get up and use the bathroom like he normally would do.
Just before he got out of bed he remembered what he had intended on doing and decided to try and go back to sleep.
The problem was that sleep was no longer a big issue with his bladder wanting relief. It was so full he couldn't get back to sleep at all. He was at the point where he needed to make a real quick decision which was to go ahead and bite the dust and wet the bed awake or get up and use the bathroom.
While trying to make his mind up, Tim's bladder finally spasmed and it was no longer decision he had to make. He lost the battle as his bladder made the choice for him. At this point he gave in since he no longer had control of his bladder and just laid back and let his urine flow into his pajamas and onto his bed.
After his indiscretion of wetting his bed was over with, he then turned over and went back to sleep.
The next morning when his mom came in to wake him up she was surprised to learn he had wet the bed. After her initial shock she told him not to worry and that it was just an accident and that these things happen sometimes.
Tim later decided since it went so well that he would try it again in a couple of days. He continued doing this for a few weeks, wetting the bed every couple of nights or so. He even did it a couple times two days in the row. Each time his mom found a wet bed she tried to be supportive, but as it went on he could tell her patients were wearing thin.
Even though he knew his mom was getting upset and that it could bring him trouble in the end he continued wetting the bed and now even more frequently than before. He also started noticing that when he planned his wetting and drank the extra fluids and tired himself out, that he sometimes did sleep through the night and ended up wetting himself in his sleep. This though was not very frequent most nights he woke up with a screaming bladder and just laid in bed like the first time until he could no longer hold it anymore and wet himself.
Even though he liked the feeling of wetting the bed it wasn't enough. His goal was to consistently have real bed wetting accidents without waking up at all. There was also the wanting of having daytime wetting accidents too.
He really wanted to wet himself in the daytime, but it took him awhile to build up the nerve to do it.
One day while shopping with his mom he needed to pee real bad. He was just about to go ask his mom if he could go and find a bathroom, when he again remembered how he wanted to try wetting his pants. He then decided to run through the pros and cons of what he wanted to do and of the possible reaction it would bring from his mom.
He finally decided if he didn't do it now that he would never get up the courage to try it.
The plan was then put into action and decided on. He would hold his bladder until they were on the way home and at that time he would then start showing telltale signs of needing to pee real bad. He would then get his mom's attention and let her know he had too pee so bad that he couldn't hold it another second. At this point he would allow himself to pee his pants letting his mom think it was an accident.
Well everything was going as planned. At first he thought his mom would never get her shopping done and was afraid that he would have to scrap the plan to keep himself from wetting his pants in the middle of the store.
Just as he thought he could hold his bladder no longer his mom decided that she was done and that it was time to go home. All the way out to their buggy he walked directly behind his mom to hide the fact that he desperately needed to pee.
For a minute while walking toward the buggy he actually lost control of his bladder and a small amount of pee was let out causing wetness to spread on the crotch of his under shorts. Luckily he managed to get control of his bladder back before it got bad enough to be noticeable.
Once in the buggy there was no turning back he had already sealed his fate.
He waited until his mom had gotten them out of the downtown vicinity before he started to allow his discomfort to show. He knew he had to act fast though before he wet himself, which he could tell would be any second now. He then looked over at his mom and told her he needed to pee, and really bad.
"Why didn't you tell me at the store" she asked?
He just told her as innocently as he could that "I didn't realize I needed to go then".
She then looked straight at Tim and told him that he would have to wait until they got home and that they would be in about 10 minutes.
He then looked at her and said as he finally lost control of his bladder, as the wetness spread across his crotch and underneath him on the leather cushioned buggy seat "I don't think I will make it".
His mom looked again at him and realized he indeed was wetting his pants and she let out one of her sighs.
When they got home he started to go to his room when his mom asked him where he was going.
He tried to tell her that he was going to change his clothes.
"No you are not, the 1st thing you are going to do is go back out to that buggy and wash the seat off" she said angrily to him. "After you are done with that I want you to come straight back inside and stand in the corner until your dad gets home" she continued.
He tried again to ask her about his wet clothes, but she cut him off saying that since he liked peeing in his pants and bed all the time that he could just stay in them for the rest of the day.
He told me that he would never forget that day. The reason he said, was he would never forget it because it lead up to the worst Whipping he ever received.
Tim told me that his dad was very angry. He wanted to know why Tim didn't get out of the buggy and go behind a tree to pee instead? Of course Tim had no reason for this or an excuse to give him. He tried to apologize to his dad but that didn't get him any leniency. That night his dad whipped the tar out of him and sent him to bed early and told him that if he ever wet himself like that again that he would get the whipping of his life. What his Dad said really scared him straight as he already thought he had gotten the worse whipping of his life!
Tim told me right then he made a decision to straighten up. That night like clockwork he woke up with a full bladder. Now the problem was that he was getting so use to just letting his bladder go that it became habit. So when he woke up and partly because he was still half asleep he just started to wet the bed as usual. It wasn't until he was almost done peeing that he fully realized what he was doing. He stopped peeing and jumped out of bed, but he was too late the damage was already done.
Well he decided that the only way to save his hide which was already mincemeat from the whipping he got the night before, that he had to hide the evidence. So he pulled off the wet sheets and tried to dry up the bed as good as he could. He then went to the hall shelf where all the clean sheets were kept.
While grabbing clean sheets his dad walked out of his parent's room on his way to get a glass of water from the kitchen pump. Quickly he removed his hands from the shelf and just acted like he was just walking down the hall, hoping that his dad didn't notice him digging into the hall shelf.
His father at this point noticed him up and no doubt could read the guilt all over his face. I mean his son was looking like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar, so he asked Tim why he was up this late.
Tim not knowing what else to say tried to claim he was just up to get a glass of water.
His dad walked over to him and noticed the distinct smell of urine, immediately he knew what his son did and why he was up. His father sighed and walked his son back to his room.
Tim was surprised that his father didn't whip him like he said he would if he wet himself again. All his dad did was help Tim with his bed. While doing that Uncle Josh told him they would talk in the morning. Of course he was definitely worried about what would happen that morning.
That morning after breakfast Tim did get his whipping but not because he had the accident but because he tried to cover it up. He told me it was the worse whipping his dad ever gave him, and he swears that he could still feel it even though it happened 3 years ago.
From that date on he told me he made sure that he went to the bathroom before he went to bed. He did have another accident a few days after his spanking, but realized what he was doing and stopped his peeing before it got the bed too wet. Even though the accident was a small one and could possibly be easy to cover up, he decided to tell his dad that morning.
He informed me that his dad did whip him but went easier on him because Tim told him instead of hiding it.
That he told me is the last time he wet the bed and until this morning hadn't even thought about it, but after waking up in the wet spot and finding out I had peed the bed, it brought back all his memories about that time period in his life, and his longing to still be a bed wetter!
********************
All this time while listening to Tim's story, we had been getting ready. After he stopped talking there was a few minutes where neither of us spoke. It was during this moment that I was trying to figure out why Tim would want to be a bed wetter, but before I could ask him my mom returned.
We of course were a little behind when my mom came back because we had taken some of that time to clean our bodies off, at the wash basin. We were of course trying to wash all of the pee off of our bodies.
While mom was waiting for us it didn't take long for her to really see what happened in our bed last night. She looked at me and gave me a supportive smile and gave me a look that I knew meant that she would talk to me later about it.
While Tim and I finished dressing she again started to leave the room and told us as she left that to hurry and be ready by the time she got back. Five minutes later she was back and we were ready for the day.
As we headed out of the room and down the hall towards the dining hall to eat breakfast we passed a maid with a handful of what looked like sheets and of course I saw her enter our room.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Chapter 5: The Close Call and Half Hour Delay
When we got to the 2nd class dining room I noticed right away the difference between it and the luxurious 1st class dining room we ate in last night. We found our table and sat down with my sister Jane, my father, Tim's father, and all six of the Greens.
Just like the differences between the dining rooms, breakfast wasn't as elegant as the dinner from the night before, but it was still very delicious. They served Blueberry and Apple Pancakes. And for those who like plain Butter milk Pancakes they had those too.
While eating, Tim and I talked about what we were going to do today after we were set free by our parents. My mom's schedule fortunately gave us some free time to explore the ship after it sets sail and all the way until it anchored in Cherbourg France. It gave us approximately 5 hours to goof off.
Right after breakfast we gathered together with the rest of the group and began the official tour of the ship. At this point 3rd class passengers had not yet boarded and because of this we had easier access to see the whole ship except for a few areas on the 1st class decks. The whole tour took about 2 hours.
After the tour was finished we got an extra surprise and met the Captain as he came aboard.
He was introduced to our group and we got a chance to ask a few questions. Thinking about the dream I had last night I asked the captain, "is it true what they say about the ship being unsinkable?"
The captain who was an older chap, maybe even older than my dad, came over and tousled my hair and asked me my name.
"Josh" I told him.
"Well Josh this ship is so unsinkable that it could hit an iceberg and still she would float. Don't you worry; you will make it to New York dry and safe."
I felt so much better after hearing what the captain said. I mean, if he was positive about it why should I worry. The Captain answered a few more questions than excused himself so that he could make the preparations to leave port.
Because it was starting to get pretty busy with all of the 3rd class passengers now coming aboard; along with last minute 1st and 2nd class passengers making their way on to the ship as well, Mom decided that maybe we should go ahead and go back to our cabin and rest until it was time to leave dock.
Uncle Josh told her to go ahead but that he and Tim would use this as a chance to do a few father and son activities. Mom then trooped Jane and me alone back to our cabin as my father also decided to stay back and talk with the other guys.
We all knew including Mom that dad was just trying to find an excuse to smoke cigars, drink brandy, and swap stories with the other guys. Normally mom would protest to this but surprised me by just shrugging her shoulders and leading us children back to the cabin.
When we re-entered our cabin for the 1st time since leaving it that morning I immediately saw that all the beds had been made and in my case changed. My staring at the bed caught my mom's attention and reminded her about what happened last night.
"Josh I just wanted to let you know I am not upset about you wetting the bed, a little peeved that you didn't tell me yourself, but I have to say I pretty much expected it."
I was of course starting to turn red out of embarrassment as my sister had not known about my accident until now.
"Honey this is a whole new experience for yourself, then you add in the milk you drank, the fact that you had a very tiring day, and also the bad dream. All of this adds up to you having a good chance of wetting the bed." Mom then out of concern asked, "Josh, did Timmy make fun of you for wetting the bed."
It hadn't even registered with me that she just called Tim, Timmy. I, who was still very much embarrassed, told her, "he didn't make fun of me at all; in fact he really made me feel better when he told me he use to be a bed wetter." I had decided to not tell Mom everything about Tim as she might then tell Uncle Josh, and I didn't want to get Tim into any trouble with his dad
"Maybe it is time to think of other ways, to keep you and Tim, as well as the bunk dry." Mom then looked at me and sighed. "I really didn't want to do this, but I don't think we have any choice."
I just knew that sigh followed by Mom saying we didn't have any choice, was very bad news for me. "M-M-M-Mom." I stuttered as I was getting worked up emotionally now and could no longer stop the fear of the unknown. First that awful scary dream and now this. I never did finish asking her about whatever I wanted to know, and that's just it, I forgot completely where I was going with my question after what Mom said next.
"Josh, I think now is time to face facts. You can't keep wetting the bed; it is unfair to Timmy and the maid who has to deal with the wet bedding and the bed itself. We can't make others suffer if we can help it." Again she sighed, "I am going to ask around and see if there is anywhere we could get some larger size diapers that would fit you. If not maybe I can get some material to make them.
"Diapers!" I screamed, "Please mom, don't make me wear diapers!" I then started promising and begging her to give me another chance. "Mom please, it was just a onetime accident. I promise I will stay dry from now on!" This plea though, went to deaf ears.
"Please Josh understand. I am not trying to punish you; I am just trying to make a bad situation better. This way if you wet again, the bed will stay dry and you and Tim won't have to lay in pee all night."
I continued begging her to not put in to diapers that it was a onetime accident! Finally after all the begging and promising I got Mom to agree that she wouldn't diaper me if Tim didn't mind and had no problem being peed on, if I per chance wet again. It was agreed that we would ask Tim his opinion right after we set sail.
With that decided mom then moved onto the other subject that she was interested in knowing about. That was my dream that I had woken up screaming to this morning.
I told her about the first dream and how, when it got bad I was able to control it and then told her about the 2nd dream and how in the beginning it was beautifully set on the Titanic. I then told her the finale scary moments of how the ship started to sink and the fact that I couldn't wake from it, and how it seemed so real that I was sure it was real. I told her how I peed my pants in the dream and we both figured that most likely, was when I wet the bed.
After hearing my dream, once again mom put two and two together by remembering my question this morning to the captain about the statement of the Titanic being unsinkable.
She then tried to calm my fears and pointed out, like myself and my sister Jane, this was her first time on a large cruise liner as well. Because of this she could understand my fear, but she promised that I did not have to worry as she would protect me and make sure I stayed safe. She also reminded me that God was looking over all of us so that we shouldn't ever have to feel scared, as we would always be with God. We then hugged and mom read us another story and then we took a short nap.
Shortly before noon we were awaken by the ships mighty whistle informing us that we were about to depart. As we were getting up dad came into make sure we were up. At first I was scared I might have wet the bed again, and was relieved to find it dry.
After getting ready we went up to the main deck and waved at the people as the ship left dock.
Boy I couldn't believe it we were finally on our way to the ocean. Of course we had to stop in France first but that was going to be a quick stop and in another day we would make our finale stop before we head out to open sea and America.
We had just started entering the channel when all of a sudden a boat out of nowhere started to enter the oncoming path of the Titanic. There was a sudden lurching that made several people around us lose their balance and land flat on the deck. I thought for sure we were going to hit the smaller boat but for some great luck we ended up passing it, by a few inches.
It had been a near miss.
Because of this near miss the captain ordered the anchor to be dropped and the ship inspected. While we stood around waiting to see the Titanic make way again, we got another half hour looking at Southampton in the background.
After the inspection the ship again raised its anchor and was on its way by 12:30pm. The whole incident made me think about the dream again. The nightmare I had last night and the uneasiness that I had felt after the dream had now return. Also it didn't take long to hear that the near collision was due to the fact that the captain was trying to show off and not thinking at all about what the powerful engines on the Titanic would do to other ships around it. This also made me feel queasy, as I was wondering if I should have put as much faith into this captain as I had.
As we left I went to find Tim so that we could start our own little tour of the ship plus our own investigation of the incident this afternoon.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Chapter 6: Who and what we found
Tim and I explored the ship from top to bottom. We even managed to sneak into a few of the `out of bounds' areas. Because of this we saw several areas that the tour didn't cover.
During the times when we were caught in an area we weren't supposed to be in, we attempted to act like we belonged there. If we were unsuccessful we would then apologize and promise not to do it again. Of course as soon as the person left the area we would immediately re-enter the area where we got in.
While we explored we asked several people if they knew anything about the close call earlier this morning but everyone we asked would either not talk to us about it, or didn't know anything. We finally got smart and just decided to listen in on the gossip and see if there was anything of relation to the incident earlier.
What we learned was what I had told you earlier that the accident was caused because of the captain's ego. He should have never started the engines until they had cleared the port and out to sea. Because he did decide to turn them on, they ended up sucking that small boat towards them like they were a vacuum. With this knowledge like I stated before I was even more disturbed about being on this ship.
While on one of the lower decks in one of the cargo areas of the ship, we came across some neat things. One of them was a horseless carriage which is what you today call a car. It was a beautiful car and we couldn't help ourselves and started to play with it.
Before we knew it we could tell that the boat was slowing down and getting ready to dock. So we gave up playing with the car and started our way back to the main deck to meet our folks.
As we were leaving the cargo area I swore I had heard some movement and asked Tim if he heard it to. When Tim told me he had we decided to stop and wait and see if we could hear it again. We listened for a few minutes and just before we decided to give up we again heard the noise. Tim and I ran towards where we heard where the noise had come from, we then came upon what look like a large crate draped with some heavy cloth to help keep it protected. I looked at Tim and gave him a nod. We then each took a corner of the cloth and flung it up.
What happened next happened very quickly. Just as the cloth uncovered the person hiding behind it, that said person jumped out at us. I was knocked over and then stepped on by what looked to be a boy maybe a little older than myself. Before Tim could react the boy slugged him in the gut and took off.
After all of that neither of us was feeling up to chasing this lunatic dressed in a young boy's body.
After getting our breaths back we again started for the main deck. While heading back we discussed amongst ourselves about what had just happened and made the decision to come back down here again as soon as we could tonight. We knew there was going to be a fireworks display as we leave France, and on to open waters, and figured we might be able to slip away then.
We would have liked to go in search of the boy while docked in France but I knew that as long as we were docked that my mom was not going to let us out of her site.
When we finally reached the main deck we searched around for our parents and finally came across them while they were looking for us.
Mom was not happy that she had spent so long looking for us. She decided to come up with a spot on the ship which we would use to find each other in the event if we got separated or went our separate ways. We all then agreed that before we left on our own again while on the ship, that we would agree to a time that we would meet back at that spot. Since it was the most obvious, the spot would be the cabin we were staying in. This way there would no longer be a problem like this again, that is our parents wandering around looking for us.
We quickly headed back to our cabin to get ready for dinner with our table mates the Greens again that evening. Because we were eating all our meals together we were also starting to get to know the Greens too, like Uncle Josh.
That evening Mr. Green did not join us, Mrs. Green explained he was not feeling too well. My dad asked if it was because of seasickness but she informed him that it was due to the fact that Mr. Green hasn't been too well lately and some days are good days for him, and some days are bad, like this evening. Mom noticing the discomfort the topic of Mr. Green's health was to Mrs. Green, with that she decided to tactfully changed the subject to that of the ship amenities.
We were just finishing desert when my mother said something that made me think I was going to die right on that spot! What she said really embarrassed me not for the first time on the ship, but I dare say it was the worst that I had so far been embarrassed.
"Mrs. Green, do you know where I might find cloth Diapers on board the ship, or where I could get my hands on some Terry cloth or thick cotton cloth?"
As I heard Mom ask this, my head felt like an exploding water balloon. I was sure that I was about to die of embarrassment at any moment. I wouldn't have to worry about the dream and ship anymore. As every tiny bit of blood entered my head and face, I was sure it was very red and continually expanding. Besides what happened to our deal? I thought for sure she was not going to diaper me.
I almost choked on my desert when I heard my mom ask this, because I knew why she was asking.
Of course Mrs. Green would ask the question of why. "Well, I am not sure about the ship but I have an idea. Are they for your daughter?"
Mom who really didn't like the snoopy question but knew it was not asked out of disrespect said, "No just needing the cloth for a project of mine that I would like to work on tonight after the children are asleep."
"Well I am not really sure, but if you need it real bad I guess I could spare some of Gwen and Jeremy's diapers. They are made from terrycloth." stated Mrs. Green. "Would that work"?
When Mrs. Green said this I ended up choking on my last bite of desert. Dad acted fast and before I knew it he pounded me on my back. It only took a second for me to spit out the dislodged cake.
It wasn't until I was breathing normally that I had noticed that I peed my pants during the whole incident and I felt great shame from what I did.
I leaned over closer to Mom and motioned for her to bend down so I could whisper in her ear. "Mommy, I had an accident." I quietly whispered so no one else at the table could hear me.
Mom then kissed me on the forehead and gave me a knowing look. I was so relieved that she hadn't got mad that I had no problem waiting for my moment to rush to our cabin. Instead I couldn't help remembering what was just said.
I couldn't help but stare with my mouth hanging open at Gwen and Jeremy. Both of them were still very obviously upset, and Jeremy had even started to cry during my choking fit. I knew how he felt; I too would have cried as well, still he was the one upset because his mother told his secret to us. If only he had known that as we sat there, my jeans were soaked badly with my pee. I was so glad that the tables had tablecloths that almost touched the floor
This was when the realization of what she said came to Mrs. Green and she immediately tried to apologize to her children.
She tried to make it better by explaining to us that they didn't wet very much at all anymore and that normally she didn't make them wear diapers, but she decided to do so this time because of the circumstances.
My mom in her not so infinite wisdom, then tried to make the two Green children feel better by telling them that they were not alone, that I too sometimes wet the bed, in fact it was why she was wondering about the cloth, because she wanted to make me some diapers for protection at night.
At that moment I found myself very upset with my mother and knowing that I was going to lose it and start crying, I took off from the table, my wet pants totally exposed.
While trying to make it towards freedom I headed the dining room exit. I wish I could say that I made a clean get away, but that was not in the cards. I had to have one more thing happen to belittle me. As I ran away from the table, I ran smack dab into a waiter. I ended up running into him so hard that he lost his balance and we both went tumbling. Unfortunately for the waiter someone's dinner ended up all over him, and fortunately for me I managed to regain my balance before I too had fallen on the waiter. Without another moment wasted, I once again ran towards the dining room exit.
I heard both Mom and Dad call to me and demanded that I come back, and the waiter was sending plenty of curses towards my way, but I, already running out the dining room doors of course was way too upset to listen to my parents or some crabby waiter at that moment.
I had almost made it to freedom when I heard the waiter announce loudly so that everyone heard. "So the little boy did a wee-wee in his pants!" the waiter laughed loudly.
That comment did sting a little, well it stung a lot. Still trying to find somewhere to cry, I kept on running until I found myself at a staff stairwell that led into the storage areas of the ship. After a quick thought on it I decided to go ahead and try and see if I could find that boy down in one of the cargo holds where we saw him earlier. I decided even if I couldn't find him it would still provide a nice place to hide out for a while and have a good cry.
Still very upset at what had just happened I quickly looked around the cargo hold where we saw the car. I looked around to see if the boy was there and even tried calling out to him in what I hope was a friendly manner but because I was still so upset and about to burst with fresh tears I don't think it came out sounding like I wanted it to.
When he didn't come forward and I didn't hear him I decided that it was deserted so therefore safe to have my private cry. It didn't take long before my sobs were shaking my entire body.
I found a nice place to hide behind a crate and sat down and continued to cry. I couldn't believe it, with all the sleep I already had today I would think I would be wide awake, but it wasn't long before I cried myself to sleep.
I don't know how long for sure I was asleep but when I awoke I realized what woke me, we were leaving port and on our way to the next stop then out to sea. I also noticed someone watching me I tried to speak to the person but received no answer. I also noticed that my pants were almost dry now.
Finally I just gave up and started to leave, that is when a voice rang out, "Please don't go! I really want you to stay!" The boy begged. I turned around and finally got a good look at the boy who ran me over earlier that day.
He told me his name was Jacob.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Chapter 7: Jacob
Shortly after I told Jacob my name and started to tell him a little about myself Tim found us. I introduced Tim to Jacob and vise-versa and told him it was the boy we saw earlier.
At first Tim wasn't so cheerful about Jacob, he was still upset that the slightly bigger boy had slugged him in the stomach, but with my prompting he decided to at least be cordial to the boy.
It was then that Tim remembered why he went looking for me.
"Your parents aren't mad at you anymore. Your mom is really sorry for what she said. She was only trying to make the Green children to feel better; she thought that if they knew an older kid was wetting the bed, they might not feel so bad about being ones themselves." At this point Tim put an arm around me. "I know how embarrassed you feel right now. ...Oh before I forget your mom asked me, that if were to see you, to let you know, that not only that they were sorry, but that I agreed to be okay with it if you didn't want to wear you know what" Tim said winking at me.
"The way my mom was talking, you would think I have been you know what all the time. But that is not true; I haven't done that in the last three months." I clenched my teeth angrily while I said this.
Jacob not having a clue or understanding what was going on between Tim and me, just sat and waited until we were done talking about whatever we were discussing.
I was happy to know that at least I was not in trouble and that I now did feel a little better about it. While thinking about this, a sudden, loud, but muffled explosion scared the shit out of me, figuratively speaking that is.
I did realize a while later, after it was brought to my attention, that I once again peed my almost dry pants. It was only a small wet spot considering how large my wet spot was earlier at dinner.
Shortly after the initial explosion a second explosion was heard followed by a third and a fourth explosion, all somewhat muffled but still loud. This of course made me think of the dream again. Without even thinking and realizing I was doing it I started to shout that the boat was going to sink.
Tim had to grab me and shake me like you would a baby rattle, I am not sure as I was in full panic mode, but I think he even slapped me in the face to bring me back to reality.
After I calmed down some after a bit, I realized I was still hearing explosions, this made me think we were under attack, that is until Tim reminded me of the fireworks display that they would be shooting off.
"Fireworks?"
I of course at that time never heard or seen a firework go off before. I was finally calmed and intrigue to see what they looked like. All three of us decided to go up on deck and see them.
When the display was over I did have to admit that it had been the most awesome thing I had ever seen up to that point in my life. Even Tim and Jacob said it was the best they had seen. It was cool seeing the fireworks shot over the ship as the mainland was put behind us and the ship entered into open sea pointing towards Ireland.
As everyone was starting to go back to their own thing now that the display was over we bumped into Tim's dad and my parents who took the chance to apologize to me.
While Tim went to ask his dad permission to spend some time with our new friend I asked my parents as well. They of course wanted to meet Jacob, so I introduced him to them and Tim's father who just at that moment showed up with Tim trailing behind him.
We of course told a small lie that Jacob's parents were on board somewhere doing something and that they had already agreed to let us play together. With that lie our parents decided to allow us to stay up later and do more exploring and at the same time allow us to get to know Jacob better. They made us promise that we would be back in an hour or that they would organize a search party. This of course was a joke and we agreed to be back shortly after the 10pm whistle.
With that said Jacob took us to where he had been hiding at and sleeping. It was actually a small compartment not much bigger then what a small closet today would be.
His bed was nothing more than a pile of dirty rags in the corner of the room. The only 2 other things there in the compartment was a lamp that looked like it might have been stolen from the ship and a burlap sack which I guess contained his meager worldly possessions.
He pulled out some rolls and offered us one. Tim and I decided that we were full from dinner earlier and didn't really want to take away from him food supplies that he truly needed.
While sitting there Tim and I were discussing other fireworks displays he had seen. We were just killing time while waiting for Jacob, to finish eating a roll. It was then I had noticed something else in the small area, and that was a bad smell.
It didn't take long to realize that the smell was stale urine. I looked at Tim who I could tell also noticed the smell and what it was.
I guess Jacob could tell by the look on our faces what the problem was. He looked like he was about to cry, but surprised both Tim and I when he yelled that he didn't need us and he would beat the crap out of us if we made fun of him. Since we didn't know what to say Jacob took our silence as being a sign that he was right about us wanting to make fun of him. He started screaming at us to get out and leave him alone, but before he could start punching at us which he seriously looked like he was about to do, I grabbed hold of Jacob and like my mom did this morning, I hugged him tightly to me and told him that we understood and that we would never tell. I then tried to comfort him as best as I could and like myself Jacob cried softly into my arms. Once Jacob got his composure back again he quickly and humbly said that he was sorry for yelling and threatening us. He assumed we would be like one of the many other children who made fun of him and tormented him. Finally after taking a long deep breath he told us that he had a lazy bladder and because of it sometimes had accidents.
Tim and I told him not to worry that we understood and that we would not tell anyone. I also then explained to Jacob the earlier conversation that Tim and I were having, the one right before the fireworks started.
"I see, I guess that explains the huge wet spot you had on your pants when I found you crying by yourself, and the smaller one earlier when the firework scared you." Jacob grinned. "I figured you were like me, and also had a lazy bladder too."
This was when I found out about the small wetting accident I had earlier. Because my pants were still wet from peeing in them twice and that a kid I'd known for not even a day had noticed it, once again my face went red.
I could tell I had wet them again because of the telltale stain on my light colored pants. It was darker than the previous wetting. It didn't even occur to me that Mom never made me go back and put on a clean pair of pants.
"Boy Josh, you look like you could pass for an Indian!" Tim laughed. He then looked down at my pants. "I think he is right, you must have a lazy bladder."
After this revelation I had to ask, "What exactly is a lazy bladder?"
Jacob explained that it was a way of saying that a kid is too lazy to go to the toilet and instead wets his pants or bed. He told us that it was a term used a lot at the orphanage that he use to live at.
He explained to us that he knew he didn't do it on purpose but it sometimes happened to him during the day, and every night he would experience it. He told us that the orphanage staff often treated him nastily due to his wetting problem. He was often humiliated in front of others when an accident occurred and he was always punished for it as well. Most often he was caned when he had one of his accidents. The staff was very adamant that he was doing this on purpose and it was due to him being lazy and not caring, that is why they said he had a lazy bladder.
There were a few others at the orphanage that also had lazy bladders but he was the oldest at 13 and a half. One of the other kids was an 11 year old who wet the bed a lot he was also the 2nd oldest in this group and his best friend. They both ran away from the orphanage together but his friend was caught a couple days later; that was 2 months ago. Since then he has been living on the streets and about a week ago managed to sneak aboard Titanic with part of the staff. He has been here ever since, hiding. He was hoping once he got to America he could live the American dream and make a better life for himself.
This little bit that Jacob told us about himself really drew our interest and brought questions to our mind. To answer the questions we had, Jacob decided to tell us how he ended up at the orphanage.
********************
He was born in London September 5th, 1898 to Mr. and Mrs. Anthony James. Shortly after he turned 5 his father Mr. James, a London constable was killed during his shift. His mother went into a deep depression and was committed to a hospital.
He was then sent to his only living relatives who didn't really want him around. At this time he was still wetting his bed but now for the 1st time since he was 3 started to have daytime accidents as well.
This was intolerable to his aunt who didn't like to be embarrassed in public which seemed to be where he most likely would have an accident, so at the age of 5 he was put back into nappies. This lasted about a month before his aunt gave up on the idea because now he was not only wetting more but he was also pooping in the nappy and she despised poopy nappies.
The nappy's were stopped and he went back to just wetting his pants. His aunt kept him in her house for one reason only and that was because her sister "his mom" begged her to do so until she was released from the hospital.
It took about a year but she finally was released and came and got her son. Things seemed to be going okay again, he noticed that she still was a little drawn back, but he understood her feelings as he too missed his dad.
Then terrible news came shortly after he turned 9. His aunt had died of the Black Plague. His mother could not take this next hit so soon after his father's death. She was again hospitalized and he was placed in the orphanage to be cared for until his mom got better.
Up until this time he wasn't having hardly any daytime accidents at all maybe once or twice a month he would wet his pants. He still was a heavy bed wetter though. But once he was again taken from his mom, his past of daily wetting and even pants pooping started up again. The orphanage placed him in nappies and then ridiculed him for being in them at such a late age. He thought that this had to be the worst, but that, was still yet to come.
Two months after being sent to the orphanage his mother died. What was even worse was that they didn't even allow him to attend her burial service. This was the last straw for him he too ended up having a nervous breakdown which was rare in someone so young. It took him a while but he did finally get better and was able to get on with his life.
By the time he was 10 he was finally taken out of his nappies.
The new administration thought that by allowing him and the few others there, which were in the same shoes as him and wear nappies, that it would only encourage more of the same behavior.
By the time he was 12 his daytime accidents were fewer but still he averaged to wet himself at least 4 out of 7 days. And he was still wetting the bed pretty much every night though he was starting to have stretches of dry nights which up until then were uncommon for him. He also hardly ever pooped his pants anymore (about once a month at the most).
Even though the signs were there that he was finally getting better he was still degraded not only by the staff but also by the other boys at the orphanage. He did have one good friend and they talked all the time about running away from the orphanage and starting their own business.
Then one day a couple months ago they finally got up the courage after he had gotten a beating for wetting and pooping his pants during his classroom studies. That turned out to be the straw that broke the camel's back and they took off during that night.
They were pretty successful for the 1st couple days but because they needed food and begging wasn't helping enough, they ended up joining a gang of pickpockets. On the very 1st time out with their new pickpocket friends, the only real friend in the world he had was caught and taken away.
He again was lonely and without even a friend. That day he made a decision after seeing how his friend was taken, that pickpocketing was not for him.
He learned how to live off the streets of London and later Southampton without resorting to crime. He did this until he was able to sneak aboard a ship heading for America. It turned out that he got his chance to better his life by sneaking on board `Titanic'.
********************
The story I heard almost brought me once again today, to tears. To hear what this boy lost and how he was treated was sorrowful. I looked over at Tim who looked like he was about to cry too.
We both then looked at Jacob who was starting to shake once again from uncontrollable sobs.
We tried to comfort Jacob and make him feel better. We also told him about our lives too. In fact Tim included his desire to be able to wet and poop in his pants, which I still found strange and curious to know why anyone would want that, again I decided I would ask him when we were alone next, but unfortunately I forgot all about it.
By the time we were done the 10pm whistle blew and we said goodnight to Jacob, and promised to see him again tomorrow.
We then headed back to our cabin for the night.
<><><><><><><><><><>
Chapter 8: Another Wet and Dreamy Night
True to mom's word she did not force me to wear a diaper to bed. In fact she didn't even so much as mention my bed wetting accident from the night before.
Even though no one brought it up I couldn't help but wonder if it truly was a onetime accident or just the beginning of a torrent of accidents. Maybe I was going to be like my friend Justin who has recently started to wet the bed every night again? All I could think was "I hope not"!
Like the night before mom sang to us kids and before I knew it I was once again fast asleep.
I am not sure exactly when I started to dream so vividly again. The dreams were at first the type that are hard to remember, the ones where you just remember a few pieces of it. I am not exactly sure when or what time, but I started to dream my first real sexual fantasy! This dream was also the first dream I had that night that later I would be able to recall in full detail.
Like last night, the dreams started off nice and made me feel safe.
The sexual dream I had was about Tim and I meeting our new friend Jacob. I don't know why, but for some reason in my dream I was falling in love with Jacob's bright blue eyes. It was like looking into two brilliant sapphires shinning into the night and lighting up everything around them with childlike wonder.
Besides Jacob's eye's, I also found myself dreaming of how cute his nose was and how his ears were placed in just the right spots to make his face seem more asymmetrical. I also noticed in the dream that Tim was no longer anywhere near us; it was just Jacob and I.
I found myself wondering why I was dreaming about this, I couldn't understand why I all of a sudden cared about another boy's looks like I was with Jacob in my dream. I tried to fight these weird feelings but I couldn't keep myself from thinking about Jacob and his facial features. I found myself wanting to kiss Jacob deeply on the bigger boy's very full and pink lips.
I barely even knew Jacob and here I was dreaming about kissing him on his perfect lips like I would my mom or my dad, but at the same time I realized not like them as this kiss would somehow be way more special.
In my mind I could see myself leaning into Jacob and then lightly touching my lips to his. I could feel his warm breath as we make contact. As we are kissing my boy tool started to get hard, harder than I ever noticed before. Matter of fact I couldn't help but wonder why lately it is always hard like that. I remember the first time I got hard, was a couple years ago and it happened while Justin my best friend and I, were wrestling. At first I thought I had broken or damaged it somehow, so I ran home to tell Mom where I also proceeded to show her I wasn't lying. She then told me that Dad would tell me about it that night. So that was the night I learned all about the birds and the bees. Now lately it has been getting hard all the time, it gets so hard at times, that it actually hurts.
All of a sudden Jacob was replaced with Justin, and I was looking down on a discussion I remembered that we had one time about a month ago. In this discussion Justin had asked me if my pee-pee ever got hard. When I heard him refer to my boy tool as my pee-pee I couldn't help but burst out laughing. He of course had no idea why I was laughing all of a sudden and since I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable, I just went ahead and answered the question he was trying to ask me.
"Yes, I have noticed that it gets hard a lot lately. I noticed also how stiff it gets and how sore it gets at times." I told him. "It gets so hard that I am afraid that I might accidentally break it off at some point in the future". I explained.
Justin agreed with my assessment "Yeah I know what you mean and it can hurt a lot at times." He said, "An older cousin of mine explained that the reason it gets hard is that either you are being sexually stimulated..."
I remembered at this time interrupting Justin to ask him "what do you mean by sexually stimulated"? I knew what the word sex meant as I knew that my sex was a male and my sisters was a female, but I didn't understand what sexually meant for sure; other than it must have something to do with both sexes. I also had no idea what the word stimulated meant as well.
Justine just told me that he too asked what it meant and after he asked, his cousin just laughed at him. So here we were two kids trying to make sense of the statement made by Justin's cousin.
I all of a sudden remembered that I had interrupted Justin in the middle of the explanation he was giving to me about why our boy tools got hard at times. I decided remind of what he was saying so that he could tell me the rest of what he was trying to tell me.
"As I was saying, that according to my cousin, the reason our pee-pee's (again I about laughed when he used the name pee-pee to describe our boy tools!) get hard is because we are either being sexually stimulated or because we haven't let off any pressure in a long while"
I couldn't help it as I started giggling again as I found this whole conversation funny and a little embarrassing.
Justin trying to be serious scowled at me and asked what was so damn funny. I tried to tell him that I was mostly laughing due to a high nervousness that I was feeling about the topic we were discussing between us.
I told him that I was just as lost as he was to whatever his cousin was trying to tell him. I suggested that the next time he saw him to find a way to make him talk and tell him what he had meant before.
Unfortunately my father would bring us the good news and we would end up leaving for America before Justin saw his cousin again. He did tell me that he promised he would find out the answer and would write to me and tell me what it was.
Thinking about all this made my boy tool get even harder than ever before. I also realized that once again I was looking into Jacob's crystal clear blue eyes. My memory of my friend Justin quickly fading into the back ground.
I am not sure what made me do it but all of a sudden while once again planting my lips on Jacobs dream lips, I also started grinding my boy tool into Jacobs thigh. I noticed that every time I shoved myself into him that I was getting more and more excited. About this time I started to moan and it felt like all the fireworks that we saw earlier was going off in my head. I could not believe this great feeling I was having in this dream. I found the more excited my boy tool got, the more I jabbed it into Jacob's thigh, and the more I would moan.
All of a sudden I felt this rush of good feelings in my boy tool that so far was the best thing I ever felt! I found it very hard for me to understand and comprehend what just happened; of course later on in life I would realize that I just had my very first dry orgasm. At this time in life I had no idea what had happened, only that it felt great and that I wanted to do it again, that is until I heard someone talking into my ear.
"Josh, psst Josh, wake up!" "Come on man, what are you doing?"
Hearing my name whispered in my ear along with the accompanied tickling caused by the whispering I all of a sudden woke up!
Once again I found myself waking in the bed that Tim and I were sharing inside our small cabin, but this time it was still completely dark. I noticed real quickly looking across to the other side of the room that neither my mom nor dad was in their beds or for that matter in the cabin with us. I figured they along with Tim's dad must be either up on deck or somewhere else on the boat enjoying one of the late night adult activities here on Titanic. This meant I must not have been asleep for too long as I knew when we went to bed it was already getting close to 10:30pm, which we were allowed to stay up later than normal as a treat. I figured it had to be somewhere between 12am and 2am as I knew from over hearing my parents talking that 2am was when everything shut down for the night.
Now awake but not moving one bit since I woke up I could still hear someone whispering to me, at the same time while doing so, tickled my ear something awful. It only took a second longer to realize that it was Tim who was whispering in my ear and I couldn't help myself as once again Tim whispered my name, as I started to giggle.
"Come on, that tickles" I quietly told Tim, I really don't know why I didn't notice Tim as he was laying right in front of my view of my parents bunks and I should have noticed him leaning into my ear trying to wake me and get my attention.
I now saw Tim more clearly as he was looking at me. As my eyes started to adjust to the darkness more, I could almost see a worried expression on his face. This of course made me stop giggling and attempt to be more serious since he looked so serious at that moment.
I asked him what was wrong and why he woke me? As I waited for his reply, I was trying to recall the amazing dream that I had just had.
"I um... was ah... wondering why you were pushing yourself into me like you were a minute ago"?
"Huh" I asked?
"You were pushing yourself into me and it caused me to wake up, and I swear just as I was waking up that you kissed me right on the mouth"
All of a sudden I couldn't help but realize what had happened! I had thought I was doing all this in the dream with Jacob! In fact though I was actually doing it for real with Tim! My face must have been so red all of a sudden that I am sure you could have used it to light up the whole cabin!
"I-I-I a-a-am-m-m s-s-ssor-r-r-ry" I couldn't help but stuttered my answer due to the shame I was feeling at that moment or the fear of being ridiculed!
I took a couple deep breaths before attempting to say anything else as I didn't want to become a stuttering fool like I do sometimes when my emotions are skyrocketing towards the moon.
"I-I (I took a deep breath and tried again), I am sorry, I didn't know that I was doing that to you, I was having this weird dream where I was with Jacob the boy we hung out with tonight and for some reason just dreaming about him made me tingly all over the place and I am not even sure why but, all of a sudden I had this urge to smash myself (I decided to leave out the part about my boyhood) into Jacob's body."
"Again I am sorry" "I also don't know why I had an impulse to kiss him, but I must have been doing those things to you while I thought I was just dreaming about Jacob."
"I hope you could forgive me and look the other way as I didn't mean to act like that towards you". "Who knows maybe we can even forget that it ever happened", I said pleadingly.
For a few minutes Tim didn't say anything and all I could think was that he either fell back to sleep or he was mad and didn't know what to say.
In the end it turned out that he wasn't mad and he was still awake, the reason he hadn't said anything for a bit was because he just really didn't know what to say.
In the end, Tim decided that at that moment was probably not the best time to talk about it, and that maybe it would be best to speak about it in the morning, or for that matter not ever at all.
In the end he just whispered five words..."Let's go back to sleep".
It wasn't much longer after Tim had uttered those words when I realized from his deep breathing that he had fallen back to sleep already.
Unfortunately I couldn't get back to sleep as easily and was about to get up so that I could go down the hall and use the bathroom, when our parents had come back from wherever they had been at. I decided to wait a little longer until they had gone to sleep since I didn't want to get yelled for being up at this time of night. I also wanted to make sure I did get up to use the bathroom to hopefully keep me from having an accident.
Fortunately as mom had started to crawl into her bunk next to my sister Jane who was still fast asleep, she seemed to think twice before coming back over to mine and Tim's side of the cabin. Quietly and as gently as she could she shook me awake.
Once she had made the attempt to wake me I acted as though I was just waking up. Drawing from my previous experiences including the one I just had gone through when Tim woke me; I acted like she awakened me from a deep sleep. Once my mom knew she had awakened me she told me to carefully, without waking Tim, to crawl out of bed so that I could go down the hall and pee. Boy was I so grateful, as I was afraid that I would have to deal with another peed bed before morning if I didn't go right this moment.
Anyway I crawled as carefully as I could over Tim, and as mom asked, I managed to do it without waking him. As mom watched me leave I looked back at her one last time before I shut the door behind me.
As soon as I was in the hall, I bolted as fast as I could towards the bathroom. I was almost afraid that I might not make it in time but luckily I was able to get to the bathroom in time, to properly relieve myself in the toilet.
On the way back from taking my pee I saw the same maid from yesterday morning giving me the evil eye. All I can say is that she must not have been happy that I had wet the bed the previous night and that she was the one who had to change it.
As I entered back into our cabin I noticed mom was still up waiting for me to return. As I went back to bed I noticed that somehow she managed to get Tim to move over next to the wall without waking him up.
When I looked at mom questioningly, she must have realized with her mom powers what I was thinking about.
"I thought it would be easier for you to get up and either use the bathroom or at least the chamber pot in case of an emergency"
I gave my mom a hug and whispered in her ear that I loved her and told her thank you. I followed this with a quick peck on the cheek. Then as carefully as I could without disturbing Tim, I got back in bed and before I could even count to ten I was again fast asleep.
At some point in the night I once again was dreaming. This time the dream I was having was more like a replay of the whole fun day that Tim and I had, including meeting Jacob.
At one point in the dream I noticed that the three of us were doing things that in fact we never did do that day, but still it was a good dream. As we were running through the 1st class grand ballroom I knew right away that we hadn't done this. Even though I knew it had to be a dream, everything still seemed to be so real.
I don't know how it happened, but somehow I managed to split from our group, and Tim and Jacob were no longer in sight. I of course started to look all over the ship for them thinking they were just hiding from me.
It took me several minutes to realize all this time that not only were Tim and Jacob missing, but I had yet to run into another person. It was like everyone aboard the Titanic just up and vanished.
Like in the dream the night before, I was once again becoming very frightened. As like before, the bright day turned as dark black as the smoke coming out of Titanic's four giant smoke stacks. Also I now could hear other people again, but in seconds I would wish more than anything that the silence of a few moments ago would return, rather than listen to all of those screams of fright.
I could tell that there was something definitely wrong as people were running all over the place. The ship seemed to be no longer moving and when I took a quick glance over the side I was shocked to see how close to the angry cold water we were. I could even feel the freezing cold spray hitting me in the face as the ocean slapped angrily against the side of Titanic.
The dawning dread of what was happening gripped me in such a terror that I found that I couldn't even call out if I had wanted to.
I tried telling myself "it is only a dream!"
This of course didn't help and in fact the dream turned even scarier. As like the night before, I once again started to believe that it wasn't a dream due to the fact that all my senses were telling me it was too real like. This again left me to believe everything was really happening around me.
I finally found my voice and started to scream for my parents! Because of my growing fear I found myself reverting to a time when I was much younger and because of this used the more babyish names for my parents, but my screams for my mommy and daddy was quickly lost in all the noise! Of course there was no way that my mom and dad, even if they were right next to me, would have been able to hear me properly over all of the noise around me.
I watched terrified as people started to jump off the side of the ship into the cold angry ocean below that was trying to claim Titanic as its own!
Suddenly, I noticed that the front of the ship was now under water and everyone was running towards the back of the ship which seemed to be lifting up higher as the front was slipping into the dark angry ocean. Out of instinct I started to run that way too, while at the same time trying to look for my parents or anyone I might know. At that moment I would have even settled with spotting the Greens but no one I knew was in sight.
I thought about trying to go back to my cabin as mom had said that would be the place everyone would meet back at if we ever got separated. As I bolted towards the stairs all the electric lights on the Titanic flickered for a second or two. This lead me to the thought of the lights going out and plunging everything in the dark. This was just too much for me and my young mind to handle. You see I was terrified of the dark in the best of times and now here I was not only about to be plunged into darkness, but also into what I thought would be my watery grave.
I found myself asking over and over again "how could Titanic sink, I thought it was the unsinkable ship"?
With a renewed effort I again started to rescan the people up on the deck. I made a decision then that it would not be safe going back to my cabin as it looked like a good portion of the Titanic was now under water. Once again I ran towards the back of the ship to escape the cold ocean water. Without realizing I was doing it I even once again found myself screaming as loud as I could for my mommy and daddy, but as before to no avail!
While in the grip of fear I barely noticed the warmth now spreading through my crotch as my bladder emptied itself into my pants. Like some small little snot nosed kid, I stood there wetting my pants until my bladder was completely drained of my pee. Even through all my fear I was experiencing I still felt the shame that a young preteen boy feels when they do something embarrassing like for instance, wetting their pants. This of course I explained earlier was something I hadn't done since I was 7 years old, that is if you don't count yesterday's accident.
Still ashamed at what I did and very frightened at the same time I found that I could no longer make myself move. I was stiff as a statue and no matter what my brain commanded my body refused to follow it. It wasn't until someone ran into me that I found that I could move once again. Now that I could move, I again decided to run towards the back of the ship.
As soon as I reached the stern otherwise known as the back of the ship, I noticed how people were trying to grab on to anything that would keep them from sliding back towards the front of the ship and the Atlantic Ocean as the back of the ship got higher and higher.
Once again trying with all my heart, I could not see my parents anywhere or anyone else I knew for that matter. All of a sudden someone behind me picked me up and before I could put up a struggle, tried to calm me by speaking my name. When I heard them speak to me I knew I recognized the voice, but was for some reason having a very hard time placing it.
This mysterious person pulled me tighter into his strong arms and told me that there was not much time.
I wanted so badly to find out whom he was but because of the way he was holding me I was not able to turn around. The only thing I was able to see was his bare arms, which even those I was having a hard time all of a sudden seeing.
The next thing I heard over all that noise was the familiar voice of the man holding me.
"Hang on"
I then realized we were no longer on the ship but seem to be flying at first through the air. It didn't take long for the feeling of flying to be replaced by the feeling of falling, and fall is what we did, into the angry cold freezing Atlantic waters.
I realized real quickly the man while grabbing me had jumped over the side of the ship. I remembered sinking into the dark ocean that the man and I were both submerged in.
After plunging into the icy cold water, all of the air that I had instinctively sucked in before the impact was forced out of me. At that moment all I wanted to do was to breathe again. I of course still being under water sucked in a lung full of freezing salt ocean water, in which I started to gag on and then panic.
Not realizing that the man was still holding me I tried to swim towards what I thought was the surface of the ocean and breathable air, but with my lungs full of water and slowly losing consciousness I was afraid I was going to die before I made it. I suddenly realized that I was still being held tightly and I had a thought at once that told me this strange man was trying to drown me. Still panicking I tried to break free of the hold that the stranger had on me but to no avail as all my strength was being sapped right out of me.
All I could think, as unconsciousness was trying to claim me, was that I was going to die right here by drowning. Amazingly I couldn't help think for a split second that it was a shame, I would never know who this strange man was!
My final thought before blacking out was, for some reason I was again able to hear noises around me. Even more I was sure that one of the noises I was hearing was my own voice screaming!
<><><><><><><><><><>