Date: Sat, 20 Oct 2012 15:03:47 -0400
From: Bi Cruiser <bicruiser@hotmail.com>
Subject: A Life of Frustration - Boyhood Memories

Boyhood Memories

God! I love cum. The thought of it never leaves my mind. Every time I look
at another man I imagine him squirting his sperm out of the swollen head of
his hard cock. I am fascinated by the act of the male climax. I never
thought of myself as a homo, being married to a beautiful sexy woman for
over 16 years and all that, but I am going to have to face the reality of
my feelings.

I've been addicted to pornography since I was a small boy. I must have been
about twelve years old when I saw my first hard core porn. I had seen
Playboy and plenty of nude pinups before but this was different, I had
never seen pictures of people having sex before and certainly not of sex
play and fetishes before. My buddy Larry and I stumbled upon his father's
porn stash in the basement and after that spent countless hours poring over
it while his dad was at work and his mom upstairs doing whatever it was she
did. Thinking back on it, most of it were pictures from the 1930's and
maybe older but it did the trick for me. I'll never forget the one picture
of a guy standing with an enormous rock hard penis and a women kneeling
before him with a huge amount of thick white cum leaking out of her mouth
and spilling down her neck and tits. He had obviously just spurted into her
mouth. I remember being both shocked at what she had done and enormously
excited at the same time. I had just recently started masturbating and
could pop a little bit of white stuff out of my pecker. But, I couldn't
imagine getting that stuff into my mouth and I was also shocked at the huge
amount of the stuff that was on her.

Larry was the one that taught me to jerk off. He was the same age as I was
but clearly more mature than me. He was taller and more muscular than me
and had a very outgoing personality where as I was not shy but more
reserved. From early childhood we had always somehow been in each other's
presence in the nude whether it was changing, bathing, or swimming
together. But, the summer we both turned twelve, things changed forever.
The first day after school let out, we both went over to the old canal for
a swim. After we stripped down naked; I couldn't help but notice that
Larry's cock, while always much bigger than mine, had grown into an adult
size. I mentioned it to him and he came over to give me a close up look at
it. We were both circumcised and had often played with our cocks when in
the nude. We even sometimes played with each other's cocks and enjoyed
getting them hard and the tingly feeling we caused by rubbing them. Until
that day, the tingly feeling was all that we got.

When Larry got close to me I noticed that he and a lot of black stringy
hair ringing his rather large cock but was still thin enough that it
couldn't be seen from a distance. I also noticed that his balls also were
much larger than they were last summer. He grabbed his prick and displayed
it to me like it was a new pocket knife or toy or something. The more he
handled it the thicker it got and the more it got my attention. I was
struck by how beautiful I thought it was. Beauty was something that I
thought pertained only to women and not men but I couldn't deny what I
felt. I was really confused. I didn't think that Larry was beautiful
although thinking back on it, he was clearly a good looking boy. He had
striking blue eyes that were shaped more like a girls than those of a boy
giving him a kind of effeminate look but everything else about him was very
much masculine, especially his cock.

After a few minutes he was sporting a semi and no longer needed to hold it
in his hand. It bounced from side to side as he walked getting harder and
pointing higher with each step he took. By the time he got up to me he was
fully hard and pointing directly up at my face. It was so different than I
remember from last summer that it looked like it belonged to a stranger.
Unconsciously, I reached out and wrapped my hand around the thick shaft as
naturally as if we were resuming our last JO session from the summer
before. This time, though, it was different. A kind of shock went through
me as my hand connected with it and felt its warm girth in my palm. My
fingers could just barely span its circumference unlike the last time I
held it comfortably in my grasp. The heat was something I didn't feel
before. It felt hot and seemed to be getting hotter the longer I held it. I
don't know why but I tighten my grip and the shaft responded by getting
even thicker and harder. The heat entered me and travelled directly to my
own cock that immediately sprang to attention. It was almost instantaneous
and it felt like it was about to explode. I had never before had such
intense sexual feelings as strong. I dared not touch my own cock in fear of
losing the tingle which I knew from experience that once triggered, quickly
diminishes.

Something came over me that controlled everything I did that day. I knelt
before him as if in submission. I readjusted my grip to accommodate my new
position and stared at the massive head on top of the shaft as though I had
never seen it before. I guess I never did see it before, at least this
cock. The one last summer was less than half this size and certainly not
this bulbous. His cock, before the transformation, was kind of pointy. The
head was about the same size around as the shaft and sloped sharply to a
point that was split in half at the top by a large slit. I had always
admired how much piss he could dump out of his dick while mine struggled to
empty my bladder with a thin stream of pee, his piss poured out like a
garden hose.

I was trying to take it all in. I stared at every square inch of his
genitals. I released my grip so that I could observe the shaft that was now
laced with veins not visible before. The skin had clearly tightened and was
stretched thin as a dark ring just below the head where it was almost
transparent and dark from the pulsing blood beneath. Below that, the once
smooth creamy white skin was replaced by a seemingly tougher, slightly
darker skin stretched tightly by the expanded shaft beneath. It was nowhere
as loose as it had been but somehow I could still slide it up and down
along the rock hard shaft it encased. I dropped my attention to the
pendulous ball sack below. I watched as his testicles moved randomly within
his scrotum independent of his thoughts and control. I was mesmerized by
their dance and watched attentively as they charmed me into a sexual
stupor. Breaking the spell, I reached out and placed my hand gently below
them so that they would land softly on my fingertips as they in turn rested
from their gambol. As each one lay softly in my hand I would heft them to
assess their size and weight. They were so different from mine which had
grown larger, but not nearly as large as these. I was also taken by the
reaction of his scrotum that seemed to retract from my touch as it began to
pull up closer and closer to his body as I examined it. As his scrotum got
tighter, I could see a line forming that looked like a seam that bisected
his scrotum evenly and ran all the way down from his cock shaft to the
crack between his legs. I lifted his ball sack up to see how far it went
and could see it go into his ass crack heading right toward his asshole. By
the time I released his nuts, his sack was pulled tightly at the bottom of
his cock and his elongated balls were aligned side by side at its base. I
removed my hands and settled back on my heels and just looked at it. For
the first time in my life I felt that I was looking at pure beauty.

I sat back in awe of the majesty before me. It bobbed up and down to the
rhythm of his heartbeat. I could see an occasional tremor with his
excitement. Larry was just standing there looking at me looking at his
dick. A glance upward showed his excitement as his face was fully flushed
and his eyes were ablaze. His chest was heaving like it did when we were
beating off together last summer. His bosom was also blotched in flush and
his nipples were obviously hard and sticking out. I may as well been
looking in a mirror because I am sure I was sporting all of the same
symptoms. I had never actually been that sexually excited before and wasn't
sure just what I was doing.

I knew that I couldn't just sit there like that but I didn't know what to
do next. That's when instinct took over and I reached out and grabbed his
cock by the base and was rewarded by a loud groan from deep within Larry's
chest that confirmed that I made the right move. I bent his cock steeply
down toward me only to hear him shriek with discomfort and contort his body
to accommodate my move and get some form of relief from the discomfort I
was causing him. I immediately came off of my heels to accommodate a less
acute angle for his prick and allow Larry to resume a more comfortable
position. Looking down, I could see that the tip of his cock was leaking a
viscous fluid that was slowly flowing from his piss slit and dangling as a
string in midair as it fought the pull of gravity reluctant to leave its
magnificent host. Inspired by my favorite porn, I apprehensively brought my
mouth up under it and scooped it up with my tongue. Not knowing what to
expect, I was surprised at the cool sensation as it first hit my tongue but
that all changed as my tongue came in contact with Larry's hot prick. My
taste buds were overwhelmed with the musky essence of man. My shock turned
to passion. I felt a complete surrender to Eros. My brain was no longer in
control. I was now a participant in the acts of sex and no longer just an
observer.

I guess that I learned a lot from all of his dad's porn. As if I was an old
hand at it, I slid my lips down over the head of his cock and used my
tongue to explore and massage every square inch of his magnificent cock
head. I could feel and savor the delicate taste of his viscous offering as
it flowed onto my tongue and over my palate. These sensations that were new
to me were tremendously electrifying and thrilling me to near bursting. I
began to move my head up and down so that the tip of his cock was going in
and out or maybe not out since I didn't want it to leave my mouth. My
thinking at the time, or lack of thinking as it turned out, was to keep his
cock in my mouth forever. I was on sexual autopilot and couldn't stop what
I was doing. We were both now panting like race horses; He through his
mouth and me through my nose. My hand was now pulling the skin on his shaft
up and down in sync with the movement of my head. I don't know how long I
was doing that but it wasn't long enough. I wanted that moment to last
forever but Larry apparently had other feelings about it. I could hear him
above my own grunts getting louder and louder in his encouragement. I could
feel his already large cock head expanding in my mouth and the fluids
increasing so much that I had to swallow them. Suddenly, his cock exploded
when it was at the deepest point in my mouth causing his pulse of ejaculate
to force its way through my closed palate and directly down my gullet. I
don't know why but I was shocked that he was actually cumming in my
mouth. It's not that I didn't know about cum. It' just that I wasn't
thinking. I had seen him cum before but there really wasn't much of it that
came out. We never let our cum get on each other as part of an unspoken
honor code between buds. I didn't have any time to take that thought any
further because a second shot of sperm shot out of his cock just as I was
pulling my head up and freeing up a little space in my mouth for what
unknowingly was to come. This second one really caught me by surprise. It
seemed to have twice the power of the first and almost overwhelmed the lock
of my palate. Some of it did force its way through causing me to cough a
bit in reaction to it but I hunkered down to weather the onslaught. I could
feel my mouth filling with his ejaculate to the point where I knew I would
not be able to contain it. I made a split second decision to swallow his
load rather than lose it to the ground. With that decision, I was a
conscious participant. I was no longer on autopilot. I was doing things I
consciously wanted to do. The gulp was difficult and loud enough for us
both to hear it. For him the sound served to signal his triumph and for me,
the resound of mortification.

It wasn't over by any means. There were two more prodigious blasts of sperm
into my mouth. Each requiring multiple gulps to consume. There may have
been additional less violent ejections since my mouth never emptied while
his cock was in my mouth. Swallow as I may, there was always more. I kept
his cock in my sperm filled mouth for as long as I could but it finally
deflated to the point where it just slipped from my sperm glazed lips which
were no longer able to maintain sufficient friction to hold it in
place. With the cock gone, I felt empty; not just my mouth but my entire
being. It really felt like something in me was missing. I did however still
have a mouth full of his ejaculate and I studied and relished it. I didn't
want to swallow it and end this experience. I loved it. I loved all of the
sensations. I loved the taste. I did struggle with an understanding of the
taste. I since heard it called salty but that may be the sensation but it
certainly is not the taste. The taste is very subtle and unique. I think it
has to be called what it is: male. Then there was the texture. It was sort
of like the texture of pear nectar; thick and adhering to your entire
palate. It seemed to change in my mouth. I really couldn't evaluate the
first shot since it went directly down my throat but the others that he
deposited in my mouth seemed to be very thick immediately after ejaculation
but thinned considerably shortly afterward. I don't know, maybe it was just
that it spread out more in my mouth but, to me, it felt like it got
thinner. It was sticky though and difficult to swallow. The first gulp
seems to go down but it leaves a thick coating in the mouth and throat that
is almost impossible to consume. Eventually, it seemed to dissolve and the
coating disappeared, although I did have to keep clearing my throat for a
long time afterward.

I was back on my heels contemplating all of this while watching Larry's
cock shrink and his balls descend with his slackening scrotum. I couldn't
believe what I had just done. I looked up to Larry's eyes and could see his
glee in counterpoint to my shame but the satisfaction displayed on his face
matched the fulfillment felt in my soul.