Date: Sun, 17 Dec 2000 21:30:55 -0500 From: Charlie Subject: Andy-revised-23 The following story is total fiction. Any relationship to persons living or dead is purely accidental. This story depicts sexual acts between people of the same sex (male), some of whom are under age. If you find this concept distasteful, or if it is illegal where you live, or if you are underage, please stop reading now. XXIII Back On The Farm "You really loved him, didn't you?" Andy questioned as they lay in bed, Charlie cuddled close and crying softly. It was almost midnight, and the last of the mourners and friends had finally left. There weren't too many who had much love for Garth, but everyone knew the rest of the family and recognized that a lost son is a lost son. Billy, feeling very much the third wheel, had gone to bed shortly after delivering Charlie back home. "Course I did!" Charlie sniffled. "He was my brother, Andy. It wasn't his fault he was the way he was." "Are you sayin' it was Mom and Dad's fault? Or yours?" "I dunno, Andy. I don't think so though. I don't know whose fault it was, or if it was anybody's, but it wasn't Garth's. He was just always so screwed up, for as long as I can remember. He was so unhappy he couldn't stand to see anyone else be happy." Andy tightened his grip as he held Charlie to him. "All I know," he said, "is that you've had to deal with far too much lately. Now we have to let things settle down and get back to living. Just be my lil brother, ok? You're safe now, and I love you so much!" "Yeah, Andy, I love you too. And the first thing we gotta do now is to talk about Myrtle Beach." "We'll get there in lots of time, but right now let's not worry about it, ok?" "No, it's not ok, Andy. We gotta talk about it now. I don't wanna go! I can't go! But I don't want to mess up your chances." "You don't want to go? But I thought..." "I thought so too, Andy. I thought I wanted to go. I thought Dad wanted me to go. I thought he was tryin' to get rid of me, Andy! An' I couldn't bear to be without you. But things have changed. Things are different now. Seein' Garth that last time made me realize I can never be happy any place but where I am right now. And then I realized that Dad never wanted either one of us to go. He really did want what's best for us. But what's best for me is right here. Please tell me I don't have to come with you? Please?" "Charlie," a confused Andy said, "I tried to tell you that. What happened? What changed your mind?" "Billy. He told me some o' the things that Dad told him." "Billy?" "William. He told me I could call him Billy." "I thought you didn't like him, Charlie." "I thought so too. But he waited for me at the graveyard. Then when the storm started we had a talk. He's cool, Andy. An' he told me that Dad told him he needn't bother coming here at all unless he's ready to accept you and me in charge. You and me, Andy! Just like always!" "Charlie, I tried to tell you... Oh never mind. I'm just glad you can finally see. And I'm glad you decided you like Willia... er... Billy after all. I think he's great! "Yeah, well you just like that truck." "It is a great truck, but I like mine better. But why all of a sudden don't you want to go to Myrtle Beach? I thought..." "That's what you were supposed to think. I thought I wasn't welcome here any more. But I can do what I gotta do right here! On the farm where I belong!" In Charlie's head, and only in his head, Garth's last words kept ringing over and over: "Go on, get outa here, Tonio! You got a great life, good family, a big brother that's good to you like you deserve. Go back to 'em and make 'em proud!" He started to cry harder. Now he knew that Garth had already made his plan when he said those words. He knew that Garth had known then that he'd be dead within the hour. "Andy," Charlie said as he looked at his brother through his very red eyes, "if you weren't my brother, if we had never met, if you hadn't come to live with us, I dunno if I could get through all this shit. Thanks, Andy. Thanks for being my brother! I love you so much!" "I know, Charlie. But I did come! And that's why I don't ever want to leave. You and our parents have given me love like I never dreamed I'd ever see. I didn't even know love like this existed. "Charlie," Andy said, "I've only been here a few months. I never wanted to go to Myrtle Beach or anywhere else, but I felt I had to so I could look out for you. I can't bear the thought of being away from you. You need me Charlie, but I need you too. So if you're not going, I'm not either." "You don't want to go? But why?" "I love it here on the farm, Charlie! I never wanted to go! This is my home now, and I don't ever want to leave! Certainly not till I have to." "You have to now, Andy! You'll never get another chance like this." "Chance at what? A life I don't want? Some high class job in New York or Boston or some place? A music career in Nashville, touring all around the country all the time? Livin' on a bus? This is my chance, Charlie! This is the chance I dreamed of my whole life and never thought would happen. Having a family, parents that love me, a cool little brother! That's all I need and all I want. Shit man, if you're not a performer I certainly am not one. "Charlie, I won't go without you. And besides, YOU'll never get another chance like this either." "But what'll you do?" "Same as you. Stay here and work the farm, go to school, then NC State. But you and your music! It's so important to you! I never dreamed that you would give it up for the farm." "I love music! But it's not my life. This is my life, here on the farm! I love the music more when I can enjoy it on my own terms, not somebody else's. If I can't sing and play on my own terms then it loses some of the fun. I love to perform, but it's 'cause I don't have to. I don't suppose I'll ever stop singing and playing as long as I can do it, but it's not gonna rule my life. For me it's the thing that keeps me going, the thing I can enjoy no matter what else is going on. I love to perform, but only when and where I want to, not whenever some agent says I have to. And I got some ideas about how to start a new band: a family band! You wanna hear 'em?" It took some convincing, but eventually the boys persuaded Dennis that they had never wanted to go to Myrtle Beach, that each had been going because he thought the other wanted to. When he reminded them that if they didn't go they were faced with the same problem: that Charlie, and possibly Andy, would be back in a school situation where they could not be challenged. They had the answer for that too! "Everyone says what a great teacher you are, Mom." Charlie said, "So why can't you home school us, like you were gonna do if I'd joined the castrati choir? That way we can schedule our school work around what has to be done on the farm. An' now we got Billy here to help. I know he'd love the chance to tutor Andy and me!" "Billy?" Karen questioned, "You've gone from hardly giving William the time of day to Billy in forty-eight hours? And you want him to tutor you?" "He says it's ok, Mom. He likes me callin' him Billy." "What about the rest of us? What do we call him? Now it's me feeling left out." "Why don't you ask him? And at the same time ask him if he'd like to help home school us? Please, Mom? There's gonna be a lot of work to do around here if we're gonna expand. You know you need us. Puhhhllleeeeeeezzzzz?" Andy couldn't help chuckling to himself as he saw Charlie the little boy emerge: the little boy that hadn't shown himself for almost a full year. If Andy had any doubts why he loved Charlie so much, they had just dissolved completely, along with any fear that Charlie would be anything but all right. The self confidence was back; the security that he was loved and cherished; the spoiled little boy who knew exactly how to push his mother's buttons so that she knew they were being pushed, but she was powerless to resist. "You sure you want that?" Karen asked. "You know I'm not an easy teacher. I'd demand far more of you than any other teacher you might get. Remember how you used to complain when I first started teaching you to play. Sometimes you whined as if you were being tortured." "Does that mean you'll do it?" Charlie said excitedly. "AWESOME!" "If that's really what you want." "C'mon, Andy!" Charlie said as he tugged on his brother's arm, "Let's go tell Billy." "I don't even know where Billy is." Andy protested as he was dragged bodily from the kitchen. "I do. He's in the barn, measurin' the moisture content of the hay bales." "He's doin' what?" "Yeah, I know, it sounds crazy. Comes from all that education I guess. He don't believe we can tell just from the color of it that it's ready to bale. He's afraid the barn's gonna burn down 'cause the hay's too wet." "But you told me baled hay doesn't catch fire, that it just spoils and rots if it's too wet." "Yeah, I know. But Billy says he heard about a barn burnin' down somewhere, so now he says he's gotta check all the hay in the barns and outdoor stacks." "All of it? Every bale?" "No, even Billy wouldn't try that. He's doin' a sampling. BILLY! Where are ya?" The two excited boys climbed the ladder to the top of the loft, following the muffled answer that told them Billy was in the back corner of the full loft. "Well?" Charlie demanded when they saw him, "Do we gotta get this hay outa here before it catches fire?" "It's fine, Charlie," Billy replied as he pulled his moisture sensing doodad out of yet another bale, "just like you said." "Well..." Charlie said as he and Andy exchanged glances and nods, "this old barn might still be in danger." "Really? From what?" "How hot does this hay have to get before it catches fire?" "I'm not sure, Charlie. But spontaneous combustion takes a lot of heat." "Well," Charlie said as he jumped on Billy, knocking him down, "let's just see how much heat we can generate. You with me, And?" "You got it, dude!" Charlie snatched the moisture probe out of Billy's hand and plunged it into a hay bale. "You won't be needing this," he grinned, "and we don't wanna impale anybody, at least not with this thing." At first Billy was unsure what he was up against, but soon it became obvious that he was being attacked by two brothers; and this time there would be no backing down. They rolled over and over in the hay, all three giggling, tickling, groping like the kids they were. The term "roll in the hay" suddenly popped into Billy's head, causing him to laugh hysterically. Too late he realized that his clothes were coming off. Billy resisted; his boots came off. He was on his back now, with Charlie on his chest pinning his arms, Andy sitting on his legs. Overall straps were released. Charlie's weight lifted off Billy's chest just enough that Andy could pull the overalls down. He was fighting valiantly, but he was losing. "Charlie," he begged, "Andy... What... what're y'all doing?" "Initiation!" Charlie giggled as the action stopped. "Initiation?" Billy questioned, "Initiation for what?" "Your new job, of course! You're gonna be our teacher. We're not goin' to Myrtle Beach, Billy! We're gonna be home schooled by you and Mom!" "Really?" "That's what she said," Andy confirmed. "That is if you agree." "You agree, don't ya Billy?" Charlie demanded as his hands grasped some very personal appendages. "Well... Yeah! I think it's GREAT!" "Good!" Charlie said as his lips moved to where his hands had been, "Now on with the initiation!" "Just exactly what did you two perverts have in mind?" Billy wanted to know. "Research." Charlie answered. "Research? What kind of research?" "Well," Charlie said as he slid up and planted a kiss on Billy's lips, "Andy already told ya we need to check the heat resistance of this hay. Then there's one other thing I gotta know. It's really important to me." "And... what might that be?" Billy was not at all sure he wanted to hear the answer to the question, but Charlie whispered something into his ear that first shocked him, then had him laughing hysterically. "You're sick!" he screamed. "What?" Andy demanded. "Later." Charlie mouthed to his brother as he went back to the task at hand. In seconds all three were totally naked, lying on their clothes to protect them from the prickles they'd be sure to get from lying directly on the hay. For the next hour, Billy was the recipient of some of the most intense pleasures he'd ever experienced in his life! At first he tried to resist, but Andy assured him that he wasn't the first to "molest" Charlie, and that he knew from experience that Charlie would not take no for an answer. Charlie was quick to remind him of the scene in the church yard where Billy made it quite clear that he'd refused Charlie's advances not because he wanted to, but because it simply wasn't the right time or place. "Besides," Charlie grinned, "We gotta make sure this hay loft is fireproof." "Well?" Billy asked after they had all rested for a few minutes, "What's the verdict?" "Hay seems safe enough." Charlie answered dreamily. "And the other?" "No difference that I can detect. But I might have to extract some more samples to make sure." Billy started laughing again. "You're so sick!" he chortled. "What!" Andy demanded impatiently, "What other? What difference?" "Nuthin,'" Charlie grinned. "I just told him I needed to see if Aggie cum tastes any different than Atlanta city boy cum. They taste the same to me." "Your research is flawed." Andy accused, "You're basing an important decision on a sample of one, and only one experiment. I gotta confirm your findings." "Confirm away." Charlie agreed, "You go ahead and gather the Aggie sample, I'll get a city boy sample for ya, only I won't swallow it this time, I'll give it to you." "You're right," Andy confirmed fifteen minutes later, "There's no distinguishable difference." "You guys!" Billy grinned sheepishly, "How long have y'all be carrying on like this?" "We're not near as bad as you think." Andy replied, "we're just..." "We're just not used to gettin' the chance to do real live scientific research on an Aggie!" Charlie interrupted with a grin. "And a Chinese one at that!" Billy had become a permanent fixture on the Conner farm by early fall. He had a long conversation with his mother in Texas by phone, explaining to her that what he'd thought had been just a summer job had turned into a long term project, maybe even a career. He had worked closely with all the Conner family, in many ways even became a member of the family. He had made contact with all sorts of state agriculture officials and experts, to say nothing of having many conversations and meetings with Carlo Meoli. The home schooling idea worked out well, to say the very least. Andy and Charlie were caught up by mid October, and by Thanksgiving they were well on their way to finishing their year. It was beginning to seem as though they had indeed got back into the business of living their lives without interruption. That is until Carlo and Guido came calling just a few days before Christmas. "First thing I'd like to talk about," Carlo began after they'd had one of Karen's best meals and were seated in the living room, "is your farm. William and I have been talking for a couple months now, and I think we have a deal worked out that you're all going to like. That young man has been working very hard to make this little family farm into an economic unit, and I think he's done it." I thought so! Andy thought to himself, He's gonna buy the farm out from under us. He has offered Dad so much money that he simply couldn't refuse. Andy felt the panic building. He shot a glance at Charlie and he saw in those gorgeous blue eyes the same panic. "I have to tell you boys," Carlo went on, "your mom and dad are formidable negotiators. Don't ever think because they are country folks that they don't know how to get the most from a business deal. And with the addition of William and his connections both here and in Texas, I sometimes feel as if I'm just going along for the ride." "Dad..." Charlie pleaded, "what... why did you keep it a secret? What're we..." "Just let Carlo finish," Dennis interrupted. "But nothing is signed yet. If you boys don't agree, then I've already told Carlo the deal is off." "But that's just..." Andy argued, but Dennis raised his hand to stop him. "Let Carlo finish, ok?" he said. "I understand your concern, boys," Carlo continued, "But hear me out. I think you'll be surprised what we've worked out. William and I have looked around the area and there are at least three thousand acres of farmland that is not in use for one reason or another. Most of this land can be bought quite cheaply. My proposal is that we go into business together, raising and selling sweet potatoes, Irish potatoes and peanuts. You three have the expertise, you know where to get good labor around here and it's no secret how hard you all work. William has the scientific connections and knowledge of all the newer techniques and modern machinery. I have the money, so why don't we just pool our resources and build up the farm? That way you can stay here which Dennis assures me is what you want." "But the farm will be yours!" Andy protested. "Not at all," Dennis answered. "That's why we're doing it this way. We will be in business together, but the contract will be worded in such a way that if we should decide some time later to terminate the arrangement, there will be a low interest loan to pay off whatever is left of the debt. Actually there shouldn't be that much debt, what with the incredible cash settlement we got from that lawsuit with the hospital." "We'll need a lot of equipment," Charlie reminded them. "Those three old tractors wouldn't be able to handle that much of a load." "That just might be the best part of this whole thing for you," Carlo said. He knew of Charlie's passion for machinery and took great pleasure out of telling them: "Under the terms of this agreement, there is provision for two new tractors, large ones, plus a new combine, peanut harvester, potato digger, plus the various other items such as seven bottom plows, large boom harrows, and probably a new truck. I think we've thought of everything, but we're interested in any comments you might have." "I might add," Dennis offered, "Billy wants to buy the old Jones place and lease it back to us as long as we have a partnership. He would eventually remodel or rebuild the house so that he'll have a place of his own. Billy would no longer be an employee, he would be a partner." Andy was silent. He was the newcomer here, didn't know as much as he wanted to about farming, wasn't sure how much his input would be welcomed. He looked at Charlie, who was looking back at him with those searching eyes. They both looked at Dennis and discovered that he was looking at them: first one, then the other, evidently waiting for a reaction. When Charlie didn't say anything, Andy Felt compelled to speak. "It all sounds good, Dad." Andy said, "But what happens if a crop fails? I mean, with weather and all?" "That's life on the farm, Andy." Dennis answered. "We do the best we can, buy crop insurance which covers some of the losses, but the cruel fact is, it's kinda up to us to make it happen. One other thing that we'd be doing, totally independent of Carlo and providing somewhat of a buffer, is to expand the beef herd instead of getting rid of it. The more we diversify, the less chance there is of being totally wiped out by a single event." "Is that how it works now?" "Sure is. Only difference is the stakes would be higher." "And of course," Carlo added, "I would share equally in the losses the same as I do in the gains." "Sounds too good to be true," Andy observed. "It is!" Dennis agreed. "That's why I think we should agree, but only if my partners, my sons, agree." "Does that mean if we agree to go ahead," Charlie said, "that I won't be getting any more pressure to go away to school? That I can stay here and just work on the farm?" "If we agree to this plan," Dennis said, "you will be needed here. There will be no money for such things, and certainly no one else I know to replace you, so you can forget any thoughts about private schools, either here or anyplace else." "Then I vote we do it!" Charlie said without hesitation. "I agree," Andy added. He wasn't as confident as Charlie because he still wasn't convinced that Carlo didn't have some hidden motive, but he was a bit out of his element, so he had to trust his mentor, his hero, his little brother. And the fact that it would end once and for all any talk of sending him and his brother away to school had a very definite attraction. And then there was Billy. He certainly seemed committed; enough so that he was planning to invest every penny he had and lots he didn't have to buy into the plan and the community. That was becoming more and more important to both Andy and Charlie. They had agreed to keep their little rendezvous in the barn a secret, and in fact had reenacted the whole thing several times. There were lots of questions, lots of promises. But in the end neither Andy nor Charlie could think of a good reason to say no, so they didn't. In the end they accepted the proposal enthusiastically. The prospect of two brand new diesel tractors was far from insignificant in their minds, because even Charlie, as much as he loved his old tractors, had to admit the new machines had a lot to offer, especially with the increased acreage they would be working. So finally they told Dennis that he had their full support and to go ahead and do what he had to do to make it all happen. About the time Andy remembered that Guido was here and wondered why, Guido himself spoke up. "With that out of the way," he said, "I have a proposal of my own. Charlie, I would like you to come back to Italy with me early in the new year to meet the members of my choir and work with us for a month. Your expenses will be paid, and your family can come for your final week, when we will be on tour in Italy." "But I already told you," Charlie protested, "I got far too much to do here." "I understand that, and I'm not asking for a long term commitment. I just want you to meet the boys in my group, to learn from them and maybe even more important, to teach them more of your Southern Gospel singing. I have played videos of some of your work, you and your band, and they love it! They are anxious to learn how to sing that way." "Italy?" Charlie said, astonished. "All of us?" "You would come alone initially, spend three weeks living with the choir and rehearsing with them, then on your final week your family would join you." "But the farm..." "There's not that much to do in January," Dennis reminded him. "And I think it would be a great experience for you. But I have to ask, Guido, why? I mean why would you go to that expense?" "I can't," Guido answered. "You can thank our friend Carlo. He is still convinced that Charlie's voice is worth just about any price and he is willing to pay to assure that he gets every opportunity available. Carlo is financing the whole thing." "I don't want you to give up your singing," Carlo added. "I understand why you don't want to leave your home, but this way perhaps you can learn a little more how to use your incredible voice to advantage, and also contribute some of what you know to Guido's efforts. You are both a valuable resource, and I don't want to waste either of you." "But I already decided..." Charlie objected. "They're not asking for any more than a month of your time," Dennis interrupted. "Think of it this way: You'll be getting a free trip to Italy, and getting a chance to sing with a group that is unique in the world! And in the bargain you might just learn something!" "Andy?" Charlie questioned, almost pleaded. "Charlie," Andy said, "I can't make this decision for you, but if I had the chance..." "But I'll be gone a whole month!" "Three weeks." Andy corrected, "and then we'll join you. And you'll have a total blast! I think you should go, Charlie." "It's none of my business," Billy said, "but if I may..." "Don't be ridiculous!" Karen scolded, "of course it's your business! You're trying to run a farm here, and trying to help me give these two delinquent boys an education, not to mention the fact that the three of you have become so close you could all be brothers. Of course it's your business!" "Well," Billy went on, "for what it's worth, Charlie, I think you should go too. I never got a chance to study music, and it's one of my big regrets." "But it's not too late," Charlie answered. "Bet Mom and I could teach ya." "Perhaps, but we're a little busy right now. But this is a great opportunity for you, Charlie! Just think of it! Singing with one of the biggest boy choirs in Europe! * * * "Andy?" Charlie said in his little boy voice that he hadn't used for so long Andy forgot he had it. They had finally gone to bed, after having agreed to both proposals and hammering out the details. "Yeah, Charlie?" "You think I'm ugly?" "Ugly? God, Charlie, I cannot even think about putting your name and that word in the same sentence! Why on earth would you say such a thing?" "I dunno, Andy, I just wonder sometimes. I got these long arms and legs, no hair on my body and probably never will have, and I got no..." "Don't even say it, Charlie! I don't care if you got no balls or five hundred of them! You're still the most beautiful creature on the face of the earth! Haven't you ever noticed that we never ever get in bed without me running my hands all over your body? I mean ALL OVER? You think I'd do that if I thought you were ugly?" "Yeah, I've noticed. Why do you do it, Andy?" "Because I can't help myself, Charlie! You do the same to me, ya know." "But that's different. You're..." "I'm what? I'm Andy and you love me! You're Charlie and I love YOU! Isn't that enough? Do you want me to stop with my hands?" Charlie suddenly wished he'd never started this conversation. The thoughts of going to bed, going to sleep, without his entire body being caressed threw bolts of fear running through him. "NO, Andy!" he cried. "I love your touch! I love it when it gets me turned on and we... well, you know. But even when we don't, when I just go to sleep, that's the last thing I feel at night, and when I wake up in the morning I can still feel it! Oh man, no, please don't ever stop! Unless that is you are just doing it cause you know it makes me feel good." "I'm glad it makes you feel good, Charlie. I mean, I'm REALLY glad! But that's not why I do it. I do it for much more selfish reasons. I do it 'cause I think you are so beautiful I can't keep my hands off you! I do it because when I look at beauty like you, I have to touch it!" Andy didn't tell Charlie that lots of times he found himself running his hands over Charlie's body without even thinking about it. He didn't tell him that it was as much a part of him as breathing! He didn't tell him these things because until now he hadn't even realized it himself. But now he realized that all the time they'd been talking, his hands had been roaming, touching, savoring, worshiping, all over his younger brother's body. The long slender neck; the still somewhat immature but solid shoulders; the hairless, smooth chest with its tiny flat nipples and its slightly pronounced ribs; the flat stomach; the cute little navel, which hadn't changed since the first time Andy had seen and touched it. The still totally hairless genitals. The penis had grown some, but not a lot; the testicles were gone of course, but the empty scrotum still remained, was still as silky smooth and soft as ever. And those legs! Long and slender, slightly defined muscles, so sensitive to the touch; the bubble butt which didn't protrude a lot, but was definitely there; the back: long and thin, which quivered when he touched it; the arms, long, slender as a twelve year old's, yet strong as a lot of men! And the hands! So incredibly long, with fingers like tentacles with long nails and a grip of steel. And those fingers were like beings themselves when they were near a keyboard. Andy grasped those fingers now and slowly, gently moved them to his own genital area and deposited them there. Once there they knew what to do, understood what was desired, were as skilled as they were at the piano. There they played not a musical instrument, but Andy himself; and oh, the music they created! They moved slowly but determinedly to the waistband of Andy's boxers and moved inside as Andy's hands did the same to Charlie. As each boy's hand found its target on the other's body, their lips met in a long, gentle, lingering kiss; and each was content, confident that he was loved, cherished, needed. And they made love. * * * It was mid January, the night before Charlie was to leave for Italy. Billy had gone home to Texas for the holiday and was not due back for another week. The Conner family had had a great holiday, the boys had their work all caught up and Charlie had been given a month's worth of assignments by his mother. He had been increasingly excited by the whole adventure until now, crawling into bed with Andy. "I don't wanna go without you, Andy!" he sniffled. "Don't be silly, lil Bro," Andy said. "You're gonna have a great time!" "Not without you. I don't ever want to leave you! And for a whole month!" "Not a month. Three weeks. Then Mom and Dad and I will be there too. And you're gonna learn so much!" "You want me to go, Andy?" "Uhhh not exactly. But I think it'll be good for you." "Good for me? How?" "Well, you're gonna learn a lot about singing, but you're also gonna meet all those boys that have had the same operation you had. And maybe you'll be able to live with it a little better." "I thought I was livin' with it pretty well anyway." "You are, Charlie. But we can always learn from others. In fact, maybe you were meant to go so you could teach them something. Maybe they need to know that it's still possible to have a life, a family. Maybe there's a boy there who needs a shot of your self confidence. Yeah, I want you to go 'cause I think it's a wonderful chance for you. I'll miss ya like crazy, but you'll have a blast with all those other guys. And it's only for three weeks. They'll go so fast we'll be there before you know it." "You better!" Charlie warned. "Besides," Andy grinned, "while you're over there foolin' around with all those choir boys, I'm gonna be here with Billy all to myself." "I'm not messin' with any Italian choir boys!" Charlie said vehemently. "What d'ya think I am, some kinda pervert?" "As a matter of fact, lil brother, sometimes I do think you're kinda perverted." "Don't matter, I'm not foolin' around over there. I won't get to know anyone well enough anyway." "Never say never, lilbro!" Monday morning the familiar white limo arrived at the Conner home before daylight and whisked Charlie to the Raleigh airport where he boarded a plane for New York. Carlo had sent one of his trusted employees to get Charlie booked in and on the right plane. He had never flown before, and the skies seemed to sense that and gave him a spectacular view of the ground below. He was absolutely glued to the window as the ground beneath, the cities, towns, highways slipped beneath the plane. In New York he got another surprise when he switched to a big Alitalia 747 nonstop to Rome. Carlo had booked him in the first class section. That, added to the fact that he was still a child and a first time flier, gave him an experience that he would never forget. The attendants doted over him; made sure he was comfortably situated before takeoff; jumped to his every request for the entire trip. When Andy finally got up for the second time it was almost 7 am. He'd got up at 5 to see Charlie off, then had gone back to bed. They had hired help doing the milking, so all he had to do most mornings was to make sure the chores had been done, then do his schoolwork and then work at the task of preparing their newly acquired land, getting it ready for planting. The first of their new tractors had been delivered last Friday, and today Andy was going to put it through its paces by plowing a large field that hadn't been cultivated for three years. As he climbed aboard the new machine he was thrilled with all the conveniences it had to offer: Heated air conditioned cab, am/fm/cd stereo system, CB radio so he could keep in touch with home base, the other tractor when it arrived. It had an incredible hydraulic system, more power than Andy had ever dreamed of, and inside the cab with the doors and windows closed, it was as quiet as his new truck! Andy felt a little guilty being the first to work their new tractor, knowing how much Charlie would have loved being the first to test it. On the other hand, he knew that Charlie was having a high old time flying to Europe, meeting other musicians, all the things that fantasies are made of. Andy knew that if Charlie hadn't gone they still wouldn't have been together all day. If he were here they would have been on opposite ends of the farm all day, but still there was a consciousness there; a definite feeling of loneliness knowing that when dinner time came, his little brother wouldn't be across the table from him. Was he all right? Would he be so thrilled with life in Italy that he'd change his mind and join the choir for good? Did Guido, or Carlo, or both really have something in mind other than what they'd admitted to? As he sank the big plow into the ground for the first time and opened the throttle, he was absolutely thrilled at how easily the big diesel responded to his command and began turning the sod on the big field. But his enjoyment was clouded by thoughts of Charlie, so far away by now. What if someone hijacked the plane? What if something mechanical went wrong? Did they have competent pilots? What if they lost their way? Would Charlie suffer before he died? Was it wise sending him halfway around the world, after all the trouble the Conner family had had in the last year or so? Andy kept shaking his head, trying to clear it of all these worrisome thoughts; but they kept coming back. He thought of Charlie living in the dormitory with all the other castrati. What would that be like? Would it be similar to the dorms he'd lived in when he was in orphanages? Most of the inhabitants were, after all, orphans. Andy knew what went on in most of those dorms because he'd been there. On the other hand, he knew that Charlie being the way he was, would profit from the experience and value his home even more. But did he need the experience? In Andy's opinion he had already proven that he valued his home more than most boys his age. "Well," Dennis said at dinner time, "how's our new toy?" "Totally awesome, Dad!" Andy answered. "You would not believe how easily I plowed ten acres today. I just sat there and steered and listened to the stereo." "So I take it the new John is a little improvement over the old one?" "Oh yeah, man! You gotta try it, Dad. It is a total blast!" "But?" Dennis said, sensing that all was not well. "But... Uhhh... I wish it had been Charlie to try it out today, not me. I miss him, Dad, and I'm worried about him." "We all miss him," Karen said. "But he's gonna be fine. But because we miss him we're all gonna take the rest of the week off and go to Disney World in Florida." "Florida?" Andy questioned. "But... Charlie would love that! He's never been to Disney, and I know he'd love it!" "Think of yourself for once, Andy," Dennis suggested. "Charlie is flying all over Europe as we speak, and we are not going to sit home and just miss him while he's gone. You know he wouldn't want that, so let's just go on with life. We love him and he knows it, and he wouldn't want us sitting home wishing he was here." "You talk as if he was dead," Andy observed. Then he felt a bolt of fear paralyze his body when he realized what he'd said. "Not dead," Dennis said, "but certainly spreading his wings. I hate that almost as much as losing him, but on the other hand it's going to happen sooner or later, so we might as well get used to it. The toughest part of being a parent, and the most necessary, is letting go of the thing you love more than any other." Andy eventually agreed that Charlie's spending time away from home was more than likely something that would happen more and more, and he told Dennis that he loved Charlie enough to let him go if that was best for him. He also said for the millionth time, "I love you and Mom so much, Dad!" "It's a two way street, Andy," Dennis answered. "We love you too! You've been nothing but pure joy in our lives since the first time you came. Now let's go to Florida and enjoy ourselves." * * * It was a full twenty-four hours after Charlie had left home that the big jet landed gracefully in Rome. Guido was waiting at the gate, a broad smile on his face. "How was your trip, my friend?" he asked warmly as they shook hands. "Awesome!" Charlie answered. "I had no idea that it would be so smooth and quiet! And those flight attendants spoiled me to death!" "That was Carlo's touch," Guido said with a chuckle. "First class is significantly different from tourist class. But I'm glad you enjoyed it." "We're not going directly to the school." Guido said when they were in the car. "I've got us a hotel suite here in Rome so we can spend a day just relaxing and seeing some of the sights." "That sounds really cool," Charlie answered. "I'd love to see the Colosseum." "Once you get to the school you'll be treated like all the other students," Guido went on. "You will not be treated special in any way. That way you'll get a real sense of how they live, and you'll get to know them. I'm really anxious for you to become one of them while you're here." "That's ok by me," Charlie agreed. "But if you're hoping I'll change my mind..." "No, my friend," Guido assured him. "I have no ulterior motive. I just want this experience to be good for all of us, and I think the best way to do that is to have you integrate with the other students." Charlie was a little ill at ease in spite of Guido's assurances. He was also concerned that they would be sharing a room tonight; but when they arrived at their hotel he realized that he would have his own room, and there was no attempt by Guido to invade his privacy. By the time they headed for the school it was late Wednesday afternoon. They had visited the Colosseum, the Vatican, had walked the streets of Rome and visited a few of the shops Guido thought that Charlie might find interesting. "Our school is not well known in Italy," Guido explained as they drove the 100 kilometers to Anzio, the site of the school. "There is some danger that people might revive the custom of castrating young boys for personal gain, and we don't want that. Our goal is to give boys a home, a goal in life, who might otherwise not have one. Our business is giving a home, a sense of direction, to boys who have already been castrated, not to castrate them. So as far as the general public is concerned, we are just a boarding school for homeless boys. Our instructions are primarily in Italian, with a few English classes because some of the boys are not yet fluent in Italian. "We have about 350 students in all," he continued. "But there are only forty or so castrati and they make up our choir. The remaining students are day students, mostly from very wealthy families in the area. The families know why we're here and they understand that their tuition helps pay the bills. They are permitted to participate in the music program and even have a school choir, but it's separate from the castrati choir. Sometimes they sing together, but for the most part they each have their separate performance schedules." As the car approached its destination and the school which would be Charlie's home for the next month came in sight, his apprehension grew. He felt his heart begin to beat faster and his breath speed up. This was it! He was about to take a step back in history. Charlie didn't know exactly what he was expecting, but it wasn't what he found. The school was a single large building with rather tight security, a large courtyard in the center with a beautiful garden, trees, and even a small fish pond. It was absolutely spotless everywhere despite its obviously advanced age. Guido took Charlie up and down several hallways where he saw various classrooms, a well equipped gymnasium, a modern well equipped cafeteria. All were completely empty except for the odd faculty member. "The day students have left for the day," he explained. "And the residents will be just leaving the auditorium, heading back to the dormitory where they will dress for dinner. We shall go there now and you can meet them before we eat. We have two dormitories. You will be in with the younger boys." The school had obviously been prepared for Charlie's arrival. When they walked into the dorm, which was one large room with twenty or so beds in it, the boys were all sitting on their beds in groups of two or three, chatting in Italian with the odd English phrase thrown in, evidently waiting for him to arrive. When Guido appeared they all scurried back to their own beds and stood at the foot facing him. They were not at attention as they would have been in a military barracks, but their respect for their leader was still plain for all to see. "Gentlemen," Guido said in a loud voice, "allow me to introduce the young American I told you about. His name is Charlie and he will be spending the next three weeks with us, then singing with us on the tour. Please make him welcome." Charlie followed Guido down one side of the dorm and back the other, shaking hands with each as he was introduced. They ranged in age from about 7 to 18. There were three Americans, five Italians, four Africans, two Germans and two Spaniards, one Canadian and two Polynesians. They all seemed genuinely pleased to meet Charlie, and all gave the impression he was happy to be here. By the end of the introductions Charlie was feeling a lot better, thinking it would be good to get to know all these boys. But one in particular caught his eye. Paul was a beautiful Polynesian boy, about eleven years old. When their eyes met and their hands touched, Charlie felt the same electricity that he'd felt the first time he met Andy. * * * I sincerely hope you enjoy my writing efforts. If you do, or for that matter if you don't, I would appreciate if you would write to me. My email address is charlieje@mindspring.com.