Date: Mon, 9 Jun 2008 17:54:52 -0500 From: Andy Smith Subject: Asleep on the Beach Chapter 10 Asleep on the Beach Chapter 10 Disclaimer: By now, you are all familiar with how I came to write this story, so I won't bore you with needless information this late in the process. For all or our sakes, if you aren't old enough to be reading this kind of story, then please don't. If you have chosen to continue...please enjoy! Any comments are welcomed and you'll get a fairly prompt reply; andyoutwest@live.com Writer's Note: As I mentioned at the end of the previous chapter, my dear friend Jake DID indeed find me, and we have exchanged several emails over the past days. Many things have changed since we last were able to communicate with one another, but we have found that common thread of friendship we once knew and cherished. So, to all of you who offered encouragement, prayers, and words of support in this matter I am forever indebted. I cannot express in words how much happiness is in my heart for having found Jake; and that you all cared so much. Special thanks goes out to my friend, the author of Jeremy Fielding Collection, for his support and active participation in helping me get the word out I was looking for a lost friend. Dave is a rare man who goes beyond his peers to be of help and offering genuine human compassion. The world is a better place because he is in it, and because he cares about his fellow man. Thanks! Prologue Chapter nine left us in a near cliff-hanger. Those of you who haven't fallen off the edge will recall that young Jason and Liam have just been "outed" by Liam's father...no, that isn't quite right is it...Jason did the "outing", but Mr. Neilson ( Liam's Dad) did indeed catch his son in a rather compromising position with little Lenny the previous morning (that would be the morning after Lenny and Liam discovered the joys...and now some of the griefs...of young love). We still don't know exactly how Mr. Neilson is going to handle things...plus we have the pesky problem of Mrs. Neilson entering the room and the second shoe about to drop...but first we need to see what happened to Lenny... Chapter 10 Holding on Lenny was wandering around in his house...all alone, of course...after Coach Fowler let him out that Saturday morning. Lenny's mind was reeling with the whirlwind way the morning had played out. First, he was discovered naked in bed with Liam. Jason, Liam's best bud walked in on them as they were asleep in the bed that morning and jerked the cover right off of them. No warning. He was snuggled into Liam's arms relishing the sensations of the warm smooth skin of his new ...boyfriend?...that was spooned up against him, both arms around him, hugging him close. One arm was under his neck with his hand against his chest, the other was over his side and sort of pulling him close in a warm embrace. Lenny could distinctly feel Liam's morning erection nestled up his own back-side and at his lower back, and as he would press his back and bottom backwards onto the stiffness there ever so slightly he could feel the warm member throb. Lying there, Lenny wondered how long a fellow could live like that...in that very intimate position. Suddenly, the warmth of the morning vanished as the covers went flying away. Jason instantly saw...and knew everything. Lenny attempted to crawl off the edge of the bed to go get something to eat. He decided instantly there was no sense sweating the obvious and it was pretty self-evident they had just been busted. Jason was cool though. Had to be to be best buds with Liam...right? Besides...it was a bit late to regret stuff...he wanted what they did last night, and hoped he could do it again. Only...he WAS definitely sore back there...so, maybe they'd have to wait for a while before they tried that again. Liam hadn't wanted a go of it so fast; had warned that his dick was too big. It was Lenny who insisted that things progress to the point they had, and for now...at least... there was no regrets. Yet, when Jason noticed Lenny's awkward movements he put two and two together and knew somehow that Lenny's ass was hurting from the nights activities. Jason insisted he look at Liam's sore behind. What they (Jason and Liam) had discovered was that Lenny's bottom was bruised and bleeding slightly. Liam really freaked out, but Jason was pretty cool about it all. He held Lenny in his lap and consoled him for a bit, explaining what happened, and how. He told Lenny that the bleeding would stop soon enough, that it wasn't necessarily a bad problem (health problem)...but that they shouldn't be doing that stuff for a while until he had time to heal. Jason suggested that Liam might still be too young to be taking Liam up his backside, and that he may want to think longer about it before he tried to do it again. Jason talked like he had some experience with that kind of stuff...though he didn't tell Lenny just what that experience might be. After letting Jason rock him back and forth like a little kid for a while, Lenny had decided he wanted to lie back down and sleep some more. Jason picked him back up to put him back in the bed properly, Liam was back then, and they both let him go back to sleep. Both the older boys went off into the other room to talk and let Lenny sleep some more. Both of them were being really overly protective with him that morning, but Lenny had decided that the attention was really pretty cool, and hadn't protested. What the other boys didn't know is that with the open doors, the close nature of the rooms, and the resounding silence throughout the entire hose...their private conversation was audible to the keen ears of the twelve year old they thought they had left sleeping. With rapt attention, Lenny listened to the story unfold between Liam and Jason. It was such an incredible and tragic story that Lenny felt tears drip from his eyes as he lay there with the cover drawn up around his neck. Jason had seemed like such a rock-solid kid...and there was just no way he could have ever figured out that something so terrible had happened to him. Lenny just hadn't thought about how complicated the things he and Liam had done the night before would be for Liam this morning. Liam was all scared that he had raped Lenny. Now, Lenny didn't fully understand just what that word meant...but he figured it had something to do with hurting someone...in a boy/girl kind of way. His father had told him about sex...between boys and girls...and between boys and boys. So, he knew what "sex" was and, he had seen Ray and Brant have what his father called "oral" sex out at the beach...but nobody specifically told him about "rape". He had to think hard about it. When he and Liam were kissing, Lenny felt so thrilled. He surprised himself with how quickly he caught on to it...Ray had kissed Brant out on the beach that day a few weeks ago...and he had seem them sneak in a few other kisses when they thought no one else was watching (they ESPECIALLY didn't know Lenny was spying from a nearby safe position). Still with all that, he had no experience of his own to draw from...but doing it seemed somehow so natural. As they kissed, his own penis hardened and the feelings became more and more intense... As he walked the floors in his empty house that morning, Lenny's mind went over each detail of their love-making; the heat of Liam's penis, the pulsing of it in his hand, against his face, and in his mouth. The urgency of the need to have Liam inside himself...the intensity of trying to take all of him completely inside; it was incredible. Hurt like hell...but even through the pain, he couldn't stop himself. Liam had tried to make him stop...but Lenny wouldn't be denied. When Liam had finished and left his seed deep inside Lenny's body, Lenny knew he couldn't ever want anything else so much as this. He stayed there on top of Liam and made him have those feelings again before he would let them stop. Lenny was sure he was in love. Lenny's mind snapped back to that next morning when he heard Liam leaving Jason in his mom's bed. Lenny had quickly turned over to pretend to be asleep, so as not to give away that he had spied on Liam's conversation. Liam was obviously upset with himself, and Lenny wanted to rush to him and make him stop, come back to bed, and do those things again. But, somehow he knew instinctively that Liam had to sort through how he was feeling by himself first. Lenny had spent enough time alone to know that sometimes a boy just needs to be alone to think clearly. Hearing Liam rummage around in the downstairs closet, Lenny turned over and decided it was safe to get up. He heard the garage inside-door close, then in a few seconds heard the overhead door shut as Liam left (of course, at that time he had no idea that Liam had actually left the house...but he could see the boy riding away on his bike in his mind's eye). Slowly, tentively Lenny tip-toed to the open door and then over to Liam's parent's room. Jason was sitting on the bed with his knees drawn up to himself, and his arms encircling them in a bear-hug, and his head was burrowed in the crook of his arms. It looked as though Jason was himself a small boy when he sat like that. Quietly, Lenny crept into the room and stood beside the silent boy for a few moments with no acknowledgement from him that he knew Lenny had approached. Sensing no reaction from Jason, Lenny turned and sat beside the teenager and cuddled into his side and waited. Lenny's small right arm found its way around the waist of the older boys and so they both just sat like that for several very long minutes. "Are you sad?" Lenny asked in his low husky voice. Jason didn't answer, so they continued sitting there for a while longer. Directly, Jason sighed really big, dropped his arm-lock from around his knees. Placing his feet back on the ground, the lanky teen lowered himself backwards on the bed, leaving Lenny to prop himself on his right arm. Lenny looked back at Jason lying there and knew that Jason was a kid he could really like. Already he had proven himself to be nearly like a big brother, and they hardly knew one another. Lying there, Jason was vulnerable...just a boy, and Lenny intuitively knew this...could sense that Jason felt at ease with him. Lenny felt accepted into the brotherhood between Jason and Liam. His mind was bouncing back and forth between studying the alluring sight in front of him, and the wonder of if it was simply his friendship with Liam that made him so acceptable to Jason. Risking a great deal of danger of ruining things, Lenny reached out and placed his left hand on Jason's midriff...tentatively...and let it stay there. No response again from Jason. This time Lenny let out a big sigh as he quietly lowered himself into a snuggling position half on top of Jason, laying his head near Jason's breast. He could hear the older boy's heart beat. The whole morning sort of put the boy into a melancholy mood. He was content to just lounge on the teenager's abdomen and chest until Jason decided what he was going to do. The act was akin to a puppy settling in at his master's feet waiting for the next activity. Absent mindedly, Jason eventually reached up and stroked Lenny's soft blonde hair with one hand...the other finding its way up to his silky smooth and tanned shoulders. "Aren't you sore this morning from your sunburn?" Jason eventually asked the lad lounging across him. Lenny cocked his head up a tiny bit as if to see where the voice came from...or to acknowledge Jason had spoken. "A little," the sexy gruff voice of the lad replied. "But Liam put some stuff on it before...that helped a lot. Besides, I don't burn so much now that I got a killer tan." At that, the younger boy sat up and beamed a bright smile at the teenager. "Girls and dirty old men LOVE my tan!" He giggled. Jason couldn't help but laugh at the audacity of the precocious youth beside him and rolled over slightly and began a tickling campaign against him that had them both in fits of laughter before long. At a natural break in the wrestling match, both boys still giggling a bit, and breathing hard from the exertion, Jason leaned forward and lounged on the naked skin of young Lenny's chest and stomach. His hands crossed on the boy, and his chin resting on his hands. "So, what are we going to do now?" he asked, his head bobbing with each syllable. "Do? About what?" asked Lenny, struggling now under the weight of the older boy. "About Liam, Dufus!" Jason said...and like Liam before him, Jason was instantly anxious about using the term of endearment he only used for his best friend in the whole world. "Oh." "I bet I know where he went," Jason was thinking to himself, unaware that he had actually spoken out loud. Lenny didn't reply. "The baseball field," Jason replied as though Lenny had indeed asked `Where?', as he sat up and looked back at the boxer-clad youth beside him. "Get your skinny ass up and get some clothes on so we can go find him." Jason got up and pulled the younger boy to a prone position. "Jason?" Lenny asked, looking up at the older teen. Jason didn't respond, but looked straight into his face in acknowledgement of the pending rest of the question. "Ummm...are we friends? Me `n you?" There was a hint of fear in the question, as if Lenny was afraid the answer might not be what he wanted to hear. Jason sat back down beside the boy and put his arm around his shoulders. "Look, we hardly know one another...but you seen cool to me. I know Liam likes you, and that means a whole lot to me...I want Liam to be happy. If he likes you, I like you." He looked at Lenny to see if that answer satisfied him. "Oh," Lenny said in a dejected voice. "What?" "N.nothing...I don't guess," Lenny replied. "What...there's something more...I can tell...just ask me...ok? I'm not a mind reader here." Jason made light of the situation by poking Lenny in the ribs, causing the younger boy to giggle and squirm away from the attacking finger. Settling back down into a more serious tone, Jason asked again, "Spill...I need...I want to know." "Umm...well...I was just hoping WE were friends...that's all. I mean...I think you are a really cool guy, and I like you...and hoped that WE were friends...that's all." "That's what I just said, Dufus!" "No," Lenny said emphatically. "You said you liked me because Liam liked me." "Same difference, goofy," Jason exclaimed. He reached over and caught the younger boy up in a half-nelson headlock and began noogieing his hair. Lenny tried in vain to wrestle free and finally had to beg his way out of the strong-hold, promising he wouldn't act so goofy ever again in his entire life. Jason eventually got the lad up on his feet and they rummaged around in Liam's stuff in his drawers, closet, and floor to find enough clothes that fit and were decent enough for a twelve year old to go out in public. They were heading down the stairs when the beating on the front door began. Once at home, Lenny dialed his Dad on the phone, as there was a note on the refrigerator saying he would most likely be out all day finishing a project. His father normally always assumed Lenny would be "busy" all day on Saturdays and Sundays either at the beach, or doing...something. So, he usually wasn't at home himself during the day on the weekend. He did always leave a note though, and often there was money in their established hiding spot (it's a secret...no. I'm not gonna say here in public). "Oh, hi Son!" his Dad beamed on the other end of the line. "Thought you were spending the night with this new friend of yours. Everything okay?" Lenny listened in silence, his mind wondering. "Lenny...earth to Lenny...anyone there? Helloooo?" "Ahh...umm...sorry Dad...I'm okay, just a little worried though." Lenny said quietly into the phone. "What's up? Things not go so well last night?" "Huh? Oh, no...I...ummm...no...we had fun list night Dad. Liam is a really, really cool guy. We got along great. Only...ummm...this morning he...he sorta got beat up...by some bullies." "Oh my God! Is he okay? Are YOU okay? Hang on Son, I'm coming home right now." His Dad was suddenly acutely aware that his own needs of escape from the dread of an empty house and lonely hallways had clouded his judgment. He was determined to come to his son's aid. "It's okay, Dad. I'm okay...you don't have to come home." Lenny was always eager to put his Dad's feelings first...a rather unusual thing for the normal twelve year old boy...but Lenny was far from ordinary. "Nonsense." His Dad brushed aside the attempts at good manners, "Even if you aren't hurt physically...I'm sure you shouldn't be alone right now. I'll be there in ten minutes. Go up and get a shower, brush your teeth and when I get there we'll sort this out. DON"T GO anywhere, Lenny. I'll be right there," and he hung up the phone without waiting for additional protests or reasoning. Lenny, hung up the phone and sat down in the big soft green chair in the living room. His Dad hadn't the heart to get rid of it, as it was Lenny's Mom's favorite lounging chair. Often his Dad would tell him how his mother loved to climb up in the chair with a hot cup of coffee, or warm chocolate, pull her feet up in the chair and read a story. Today, as Lenny climbed up in the chair, he thought of her, and wished he had her there again for a little bit to hold him The chair brought a little comfort...but not enough. Inside, he was glad his Dad was coming home, he wanted to DO something for Liam, but knew he couldn't by himself. Of course, he didn't know WHAT he could do...but felt sure his Dad would. Almost exactly ten minutes later Lenny's Dad (Leslie) strode into the living room to discover his young son looking very vulnerable, very small, and all curled up in his wife's old chair. The resemblance of his posture, his features, and how he sat there was an instant flash back to her...they were so incredibly alike. How could two people have such similar attitudes, mannerisms and looks? He sighed and walked over to the chair and picked the boy up, sat in his place and held the boy in his lap. Neither of them said anything for quite a while, both contented to just enjoy the closeness and unity. They had been through a lot together, there was an understanding between them of solidarity. Lenny was often lonely, but also keenly aware of his father's pain. Leslie loved the boy, and Lenny knew that too. A few weeks earlier when Lenny confessed his thoughts of perhaps being gay, Leslie had proven himself to be a man who could be trusted to remember that love. Lenny managed to wiggle himself around so that his Father's arms were around his chest, with his back against his Father. Doing this allowed him to pull his Dad's arm up to his face so he could rub his cheek and lips in the coarse man hairs of his arms, and to take in his smell...the smell of a father. Lenny sighed contentedly and let his Dad caress his back, shoulders, and even play with his soft blonde hair with his free hand. The one Lenny was in control of wasn't going anywhere. Soon enough, his Dad asked, "Wanna talk about it?" He leaned down to gently kiss his son's hair and pull him slightly tighter to himself. So, Lenny explained as much as he could about what transpired that morning, about the Coach knocking on the door, and the abrupt end of his sleep over. He told him what he knew of the assault, and that Liam was most likely at the local hospital, and that Jason had gone with the Coach to see about him. Leslie rested his cheek on the boy's hair and breathed in his smell, still holding him closely. "So, you want to tell me why Liam was off on his bike, leaving you there all alone with this other boy?" Lenny was silent, uncertain how to talk about this, and how much was enough information. "Lenny," his father asked as he gently extricated the boy slightly in order to have him turn to face him. "Don't be afraid to tell me...I'm here for YOU son. I'm on YOUR side. I need to know how to help. Tell me, please." Lenny sighed, and leaned in again towards his Father, this time chest to chest. His father wrapped his arms back around him and waited. "We did...stuff together last night Dad. Me and Liam did," Lenny said quietly, retrospectively. "Stuff?" "Yea, stuff." "Sex stuff?" "Dad!" Lenny protested. "Okay...okay...I'm sure I don't want details." He put his face against the boy's hair again and just remained silent as he collected his thoughts. His instincts were to start screaming and demanding that the boy was too young for things like this...but instinctively he knew that how he handled these next few minutes would speak greater volumes to the boy about how life would be going forward than all the speeches he could make in ten years. `Silence is golden,' he recalled his grandmother's words. He sighed deeply, knowing he wasn't the calm, cool, and collected man on the inside that he felt he HAD to be from the outside. Strength. That's what he prayed for just then...and a bit of wisdom couldn't be harmful either! He could feel the tears of his son wetting his cotton tee shirt (weekend attire at the office was entirely optional...he chose cargo shorts and tee shirts). "Son," he finally continued, "Please be careful. I know you are wanting to explore your feelings...but you ARE young...and life is so full of complications. I just don't want to see you hurt." "I know, Dad," Lenny said quietly. "And maybe we did too much...stuff...but I loved doing it with him Dad. And I want to be with him more, and do stuff some more." He was quiet a moment. "Only...I don't know how he feels about it. He left before we could really talk about stuff this morning." He then went on to tell his Dad some of what he'd overheard the two older teenagers talking about before Liam left the house. At the end, they both just sat quietly for a very long time. "Are you sure you're okay?" His Dad asked, lifting the boy's chin to look him in the eye. "Ummm...mostly... yea." "Mostly?" "Dad!" "You've trusted me this much...go on and tell me what I need to know now, Son. Let's just deal with what we have too, and that way we both know what's what." Unconvinced, Lenny remained quiet. "Look, Son...I'm not a monster, okay? And look," he lifted the boy's face up yet again, "I may know more than you thing I might." Lenny's eyes got big as quarters. Lenny sighed deeply, and blushed a deep crimson, but knew his Father wasn't going to let it go. So, he told him...everything. Not graphically...but with the descriptive ability of a twelve year old boy. This lead to the embarrassing ordeal of having to show his Dad what his butt looked like. Totally humiliating at best, but it could have been worse...His Dad was gentle, and didn't overly react. Instead, he got up and carried the boy to his own bedroom and laid him on his own bed. After retrieving some ointment, he rolled the boy over onto his side, crossed his top leg over the other, and began to soothingly apply the ointment to his sore anus. In so doing, his Dad noticed that the Lad hadn't yet showered as instructed, so he just picked the boy up and took him into the bathroom. Standing him up at the sink, he began to draw some warm water in the tub for the boy, and after it was full, picked him up and put him in. "Lie back and let the warm water help you relax, Son," he instructed. After making sure the boy was comfortable, he quietly slipped out of the room and went to sit on his bed. He picked up his bedside phone and dialed his boss...Robert, who was actually one of his very best friends. They had met in college, and had instantly hit it off. Instant friends. After a few weeks of liberal arts college under his belt, and loosening up his normal defenses, he had let himself be talked into a bit of casual sex between them...there was booze, and light drugs involved...nether other of them were "gay", but both had been horney, and hungry, and curios. This seemed safe. And it was. They both had decided that they were much more attracted to their girlfriends, but had each secretly relished the memories they had of their time together. It was a sort of unspoken bond between them. After his wife and baby girl died, Robert called and offered a job at his architectural firm as a draftsman...with the promise that if he decided to stay on he could become a partner. So, Leslie scheduled a moving crew to come clean, pack, and move their things; loaded Lenny up in the Jeep, and left for Galveston Bay. He poured himself into his work, and well...you know the rest. Robert answered the phone, and Leslie proceeded to fill him in on what was happening. "Robert," he said with a tone of despair, "Lenny is ALL I have left. I HAVE to do this right." He could feel the tears began to fall down his face. Robert could tell they were falling. "Say, Bud," he consoled, "It's going to be alright. You remember our days at Midwestern. What he does today doesn't mean that is how things are going to always be. And...if they are? Hey, I wouldn't have gotten mad if I had spent my whole life with you..." Wow. BIG news there. Silence was deafening over the line for a long while. "Bobbie...I...," Leslie started to interject finally after letting that statement absorb between them. "No...don't, Les." Robert stopped him. "I know...you are not gay...and neither am I...I don't think. But, I do know that I have always loved you. IF I was going to be gay with anyone...it would have been you...that's all I'm saying. "And what I'm saying now about Lenny is that he may love this boy...he certainly FEELS something for him. And, YOU can't sort that out...THEY will have to do that. That's how you handle it. You make sure they are safe. You make sure they are happy. You make sure they can work this out between themselves...and if you do, you won't have to worry about losing your baby boy. He'll know love when he feels it, Bobbie. Love him through this, and you'll both be able to hold on. That's what I'm saying." Both men were crying then. Both knew it was good advice. As they parted, they exchanged a parting neither of them had used since college, "I love you, Bud!" and "Me too!" Leslie remained sitting on the bed with the phone in his hand for quite a bit. After long enough for the water to begin cooling off, he made his way back into the bathroom to find Lenny asleep in the tub. He picked up the washcloth, soaped it up and tenderly washed his son. Lenny woke at his touch, but allowed his father to proceed with this parental role that hadn't been needed for several years. Leslie washed his private areas, ensuring to gently clean the sore area of his bum, yet not lingering any longer than necessary on the embarrassing places for his son. When he was finished, he pulled the plug, and helped the boy out and sat him on the edge of the tub. After dying him with the towel, and wrapping him up in it, he carried the listless child back to his own queen sized bed and put him in it, tucking him in and letting him sleep nude in the depths of his blankets. He carried the damp towel back to the bathroom and tossed it into the bin, and went out of the room, turning off lights as he went. At the door to the bedroom, Leslie looked in one last time at Lenny. Such a small boy, such an incredibly emotional past few days...month...heck...over half of his life was a turmoil. What was he going to do about all this? He sighed deeply as he pulled the door shut, wishing he had a manual of instructions to negotiate his way through stuff like this...sadly acknowledging he was on his own here though. Somewhere around seven o'clock, Lenny woke and wandered in to the living room where his father was watching TV with the volume turned nearly off. "I'm hungry as a hippopotamus!" He said as he plopped down in "his" green chair, having instantaneously decided to claim it as his own from that moment on. "Figured you would be if you ever woke up!" Leslie quipped. He picked up the phone and a coupon that he'd placed in handy reach for just this moment. "I'll get the Pizza here...you go find some clothes young man!" as he tossed a couch throw-pillow at the boy (they are called "throw-pillows after all, aren't they?). A brief pillow fight ensued, and the pizza ordered between volleys. Both had to retreat and call a truce so Lenny could put clothes on. Neither of them entirely sure the other would honor the terms of the cease-fire...but clothing and pizza were both eventually accomplished. As they settled in the couch together for a movie afterward, Leslie got a thin blanket and wrapped them up together, and Lenny longed on his father, snuggling in and finding a comfortable position. When they both had stopped fidgeting, Leslie said to Lenny, "I called the hospital." Lenny looked up at his Dad with expectation. "And, he is going to be okay. They have kept him overnight for observation. He has bruises, and a broken wrist. Probably will have some swollen lips and he'll be pretty sore too. His Dad said they are pressing charges on the boys who jumped him. He's been asleep all day, like someone else I know," he tickled Lenny in the ribs, causing the boy to wiggle away a bit, and giggle too. "His Dad says he is proud of how hard he fought back against older, tougher boys. He's pretty angry at those hoodlums for jumping him unprovoked." Leslie paused for a moment or two. "Lenny, he doesn't seem to know why Liam was off riding around by himself...I didn't tell him anything. I feel like he needs to talk to Liam about that. But..." he hesitated to say the rest, "But, he says he saw you both asleep in Liam's, bed this morning...with no clothes on." Lenny gasped in disbelief, turned violet red, and buried his face in his father's chest. "I told him I'd talk to you about it, but that I didn't feel it was too big of a deal. I told him you both probably were hot, then might have gotten a little randy." "Dad!" Lenny exclaimed. Leslie grinned at his son's consternation. "Don't worry. He took it all in stride actually. I was quite surprised. Most fathers would freak out if they thought their son's were doing something...with another boy." He let that stand a moment, then continued. "Son, no matter how this turns out...you REALLY are going to have to be careful. His father could have freaked out and it could have been really ugly. Now, I don't know what is going to come of this, but please don't rock the boat here. There are more people involved than just yourself. Always remember that. A man's actions seldom only involve himself. The people he cares about are also affected...good...or bad. "You are having to learn a lot of life's hardest lessons quickly, Son. This is one of them. Be careful what you do. The people you love depend upon wise choices from you." They both settled in then and watched the movie for a while. "Dad?" "Yea, Son, What is it?" "Can I go see him tomorrow? Will you take me?" "Yes...I knew you'd want to go. I arranged with Bobbie...I mean Robert to have a couple of weeks off. I'm going to stay here and help you get things settled, so we can get our feet back under us. We have a lot to work through...but we'll do it together." Lenny went to sleep on top of his father soon afterwards, long before the movie was over. Leslie considered that Lenny was most likely growing some, as he remembered that kids tend to be very sleepy during those times; that, and during times of great emotional upheaval. He figured both cases might be true this time. He turned off the set and carried the sleeping boy to his own bed instead of the boy's own bed. He put him in on the opposite side, tucked him in, kissed him, then got in on the other side rolling on his side facing away from the boy. As he drifted off to sleep, he dreamt about something he hadn't in years...about his freshman year in college...about Bobbie. Sunday Morning at the hospital... "Did you just say what I thought you said?" Liam's mother, Debra, said. Looking all around the room, she quickly took in all the details, as only a mother could. "What's going on here? Jason...you look like you swallowed the cannery. And Liam...don't even try...I can see through you like a screen door." Quickly she turned to her husband, Larry, and said, "Well???" Though she flustered the boys easily and quickly, Liam's father was no stranger to the quick battle of wills with his wife, and was fully armed to defend and deflect. "Shit," he said matter of factly, "I said, `shit'." "I heard THAT already," she exclaimed impatiently. "I'm wanting to know what is going on here...don't try to get my attention off things." She rolled her head slightly and placed her hands on her hips. Larry strode around the bed and took his wife in his arms and hugged and kissed her. "Thanks for the relief...but aren't you about 10 hours too soon? I thought we were spelling each other out?" He asked as he pecked a kiss on her lips again. "Don't be changing the subject on me, Dear," She insisted. "Too late," Larry quipped, "already done!" She took a good-natured swipe at him and grinned at his antics, soon they all relaxed and were giggling at the play and banter between the two adults. Soon enough, Debra turned to Jason, and as she approached him she slid her arm around his waist, drawing him into a hug. She kissed his hair and said, "Thanks for staying with Liam all night. I'll bet you're beat aren't you?" She pulled her upper body away from his while maintain the hug and assessed the teenager. "You are going home with me young man, and I am taking you home to get some rest." She brokered no discussion on the matter. "Yes, Ma'am," the teenager answered politely, as he extricated himself from her hug. "Honey, you're awake!" she said as she turned to Liam and leaned on to kiss him. "Mom!" Liam protested, blushing at her overt mothering in front of...well...ANYONE! "You let me alone," she brushed aside his protest, "You're my baby and I'll kiss you if I want. Now...are you sore, Honey, where do you hurt most? Are you comfortable? Does your wrist hurt? Do I need to tell them to bring in some pain medicine? Have you eaten? What are we going to do about those nasty cuts on your little lips!" She reached in to touch them as she said this last part. "Mom!" Liam protested again. "Debra," his Father chuckled at his consternation, "Don't hover, Dear." He moved over to try to get her attention away from the bewildered boy. Liam's perspective... The discussion was then easily turned away from the drama that was between the three of us before Mother arrived. Evidentially, we discovered that Mom just came back because she "felt" I was awake and wanted to see about me. I'm not sure I BELIEVE that...but she has always had a sort of intuition, I suppose...still... Dad got Mom to leave, and Jason went with her. He promised to come back after he had a nap, as it seemed that once you got stuck in a damned hospital on a Saturday you were held hostage against your will until Monday at best! *Good grief* But, I was hurting pretty good, and I sure didn't want to think about having to get up and ride home right that verry minute anyway. Besides, I was getting pretty paranoid about being trapped at home with all of what was about to surface. What was about to happen? How would THEY respond? I was getting sick just thinking about all of it. I didn't even notice Dad coming back into the room, I was so deep in thought. "Liam?" he said as he gently touched my shoulder. I nearly jumped out of the bed! "Damn!" I blurted out before I could catch myself, "You scared the s..." Dad laughed at my jump-start, but looked over his imaginary spectacles at my near slip of the second curse word. I sighed real big, and having gained control of myself said, "Sorry, Dad. I'm sorry I've used bad words so much these last few days...things have just been so...I dunno." Dad patted me on the arm, leaned in a kissed the top of my head, and turned to settle in at the bedside chair, pulling it up close enough to have an intimate conversation. I got the impression he thought this was going to take a while. *Sigh* "Liam," he started, "I know this...I feel this...*Sigh* This hasn't been easy for the two of you to talk about. I know that." I blushed deep red, despite the fact I knew what he was about to bring up. I turned my head away from him and could feel tears coming quickly to my eyes. "Don't...don't let this come between us Liam," his voice quivered. I reached up with my right hand and wiped at the tears in my eyes, and slowly turned back to face him. "I d.don't want to disappoint you, D.Dad!" I cried. He cried. He sat up, then stood up and leaned over the bed, forcibly lifting me up into a hug. A big bear hug. I cried on his shoulders like a little kid. He cried on my shoulder like a Dad holding a hurting little kid. Somehow, I don't know how, but he ended up sitting on the bed bedside me and he held me for quite a long time. I can't really tell you how long I dreaded talking to my Dad about how I felt inside...I loved him...DO love him...and feared being rejected by him because I knew how much I needed him to love me. All the years of having him play toy trucks and cars with me were at risk; all the hours of helping me with Tonka Trucks and earthmovers and so forth out in the sand-box were at risk...not to mention the fishing, camping, baseball, movies, hunting, boating...my whole life was at risk. For all my life I have sought for, and received his approval. Other fathers sometimes were slow...or loath...to offer praise, acceptance, and to demonstrate love...but my Dad was not. So, to have experienced love, and acceptance, I knew what I was at risk of losing. It was gut wrenching, but it was very cathartic too (I know...that's a big word...but look it up...it works). After we both stopped crying, he continued to hold me and sooth me for quite a while, and I was content to let him. The heat between us was great. We both felt it; but still we continued to stay like that for a very long time. When at last he pulled us apart, Dad handed me his handkerchief, and got up to get a tissue for himself. I wiped my eyes with his handkerchief, but reached for a tissue of my own to blow my nose. Having taken care of all that business we both settled back in to talk. Dad sat back on the edge of the bed this time though, and facing me with one leg partially up on the bed and touching my side, he took my hand in both his. "Liam...I..." he paused to gather his thoughts better. "You are my son, and I love you. Everything else works out from there, Son. That's just how it is. I c.can't tell you that I understand what you are going through...I have no experience to draw on for that. I don't know if this is a phase, if it's a passing thing, or if you even know what you feel inside yet. There's just too much for me to comprehend right now. "I do know this...somehow we'll figure it out. Liam, look at me..." I had turned my head away from him again, and was trying to make sense of all this. At his urging, I turned back to look him in the eye again. "Having sex at your age isn't a god idea, Son...no matter who you have sex with. I don't think a kid your age is ready to deal with all that goes with it." I was blushing, but he wasn't being preachy, or trying to embarrass me...I could sense this was as hard for him to talk about as for me to hear; so I listened. "Sex is for two people who are in love...and your mother and I have always believed it was for two people who are first married." We both contemplated that for a long moment before he continued. "I don't know IF you've had sex yet son...but if you have you know it feels really great. REALLY great!" He smiled at me, I blushed more deeply. "So...have you? Had sex?" "Dad!" I protested. "I take that as yes, then," he said sort of dead-panned. Gee, how red can you get before they call the paramedics?! "Just o.once," I said, "Friday night...with Lenny. T.that's the first time D.dad...I swear." I said in hushed tones, too embarrassed to look up at him. "With Lenny?" he asked. "Y.yes...I just said that," I replied. "Oh...sure," he said thoughtfully. "I'm just wondering then...what was...why did Jason say what he said, Son? Did you know about this? About him? Did he know about you?" *Sigh* Here we go again. SO...I told him. Told him everything. About me and Jason finding Lenny on the beach, about me bringing him home...about him going to sleep on my bed...that we started kissing somehow...and that we just sort of...ummm...had sex. Gratefully, he didn't ask for, or want details, but he just wanted to know everything important. So, I told him about Saturday morning and about what Jason told me then. I left out the part of me and Lenny having REAL sex...I mean the penetration part, so I couldn't hardly l tell him about the bleeding part...I was still afraid of what I had done to him (Lenny). It would be a few more days before I could get my arms around that. Anyway, I told him I was really worried about Jason, and what all he had gone through. I told him that Jason and I had never DONE anything together...but that we both...well...we loved each other...but all this time I think both of us thought that the other only felt like what was between us was like brothers...only now we both were thinking it might could be something more than that...more than brothers. I told him I didn't want to mess things up. I loved Jason...but I needed a friend way more than I needed a...a...boyfriend. AND...AND, I...I didn't have a clue about how I felt about Lenny. We just had zero time to sort that out... It was a long, painful, and extremely embarrassing conversation...but the deeper I got into it, the more relaxed I was feeling about the whole "telling your Dad you're gay" thing. When I stopped, he was still sitting there, still holding my hand, and was waiting patiently for me to finish. I still didn't know how or what he was going to do about things. He sat there, stroking my hand and arm for a bit before he responded to what all I had to say. "Son," he began rather quietly. I had to listen very carefully to hear him, he was talking so softly. "I'm afraid your mother isn't going to react well to this. I've known her a very long time...and I just don't know how she will come down. I know...she...I know she won't accept you being gay on first pass." He stopped and let that soak in. "I don't think she will accept it from Jason too well either. I mean...she love's Jason...and if JASON had just told her HE thought HE was gay...well...I suspect she would try to "mother" him through it as best she could. But, with YOU involved somehow...I just don't know." My heart sank to the bottom. I knew he was right. But, if HE didn't know how to tell her...how in the hell was I going to? "Goddamn it Daddy!" I screamed at him. "It's just not FUCKING FAIR!" as I burst into a fit of tears. "I know, Son, I know...shhhh...shhhh" he said, as he pulled me to him against my will. He was considerably bigger and stronger than me...I couldn't make him not hug me...but I was scared shitless and didn't know what to do. It was just at that wonderful time that the Deputy Sherriff walked into the room. "Uh.hummm," he said, clearing his throat to announce himself. Dad and I were both startled. "Sorry guy's," the big Deputy said. "Didn't mean to startle you. My name is Rose, Jim Rose. I'm assigned to take your statement regarding an altercation Saturday morning out at the baseball fields. Are you Liam Nielson?" I nodded in affirmation. "And you must be Mr. Neilson?" he held his hand out to Dad for a handshake. So, we had to go through the details of the fight...AGAIN. Mr. Rose was a really swell guy, and had a way of making you feel like he would personally see to it that all the villains and bad guys would answer to him personally. No, he didn't SAY that...but he had such an air of confidence, he was so...professional...and so BIG! He told us the Department had taken Dad's statement already, and asked me to look at several photo's to see if I could identify the young men who attacked me. Sure enough, I found them two-thirds of the way through the stack of pictures. "Th.t.that's them," I pointed at the two creeps, showing the Deputy whom I had picked. He took the photo's jotted down a couple of notes in his little pad, then put it back into his shirt pocket. The pen was secured in his trouser pocket, and he adjusted himself to look square at me. His gun belt was squeaking like a saddle on a horse, and I could smell the leather from where I was laying on the hospital bed. With his hands in front of him, and his thumbs hooked inside his trousers (or holster), he said straight to me... "Son, I don't know why these two boys jumped you, but you rest assured you held your own against a superior enemy. Most kids your age would have run away, or gotten more seriously hurt. I don't ever recommend citizen retaliation...but I want you to know that I believe you did a fine piece of self defense." I blushed slightly at his praise. "Now, can you think of a single reason WHY they would want to hurt you, Son?" he asked. I nodded my answer. "I didn't think so," said with a bit of reflection, "these types seldom need provocation." He pause a moment as if to ponder his next words. "One of them said something about thinking you were gay...that that is why they attacked you." He studied me for any sign or reaction. My eyes quickly darted between him and Dad. I had absolutely NO idea how they could have come up with shit like that! There was just NO WAY they could have heard anything, or saw anything...they were full of shit...and I was about to say just that. but Dad jumped up immediately to protest. The big Deputy just held his hand up as a sign for Dad to be calm. "What I am saying," Deputy Rose continued as if uninterrupted, "is that IF they were motivated by that...they have a REALLY big hole to crawl out of. We just won't tolerate young folks doing this sort of thing...to anyone...for ANY reason. You got that Mr. Neilson?" He was speaking directly to me. I sighed a big sigh of relief. He reached in his shirt pocket and pulled out a card, "You call me personally if you get any shit from this...from ANYONE." He said that last word with emphasis while looking directly at my father. Again, Dad started to protest, but the Deputy waved him off, "Save it. It's none of my business...unless someone MAKES it my business." He turned back to me, "I mean this, Son. You call me...twenty-four hours a day...that's my cell phone number." Then, a bit more calmly, I suppose trying to re-assure me and Dad of his intentions, he added, "I have a nephew that gets harassed a lot. The kids at school sometimes are pretty mean. After they see me come around once or twice, they think twice about bothering him. I can't protect the world...but I can stand beside a few kids who need help." He made his goodbye's and soon left. Dad and I were left agape at what just happened. I was holding his card in my hand, and noticed it smelled of his cologne. "We'll deal with your Mom when we get you out of here," Dad said. "I need time to figure out how to talk to her about all this." I felt instant relief. Dad was on my side. "Thanks, Dad," I whispered. "Dad?" I asked while looking up at him? "What are we going to do about Jason?" I saw Dad's face scrunch up as if fighting back instant tears. "We love him, Son. That's what we do...we love him." Okay folks...this went longer than my normal installments, but I felt like we needed to get a couple of things cleared up and couldn't just leave you in the lurch...so to speak. Still...we have several more things to work through, and a lot of story left to tell. I welcome any comments! andyoutwest@live.com